Comments by "Leo" (@Leoo117) on "What MEN and WOMEN have to do in order TO LOVE: how to get better at loving" video.

Don't know about this one doc. The impurities you mentioned do indeed stand in the way of love. They are basically a result of insecurity and fear, but they are present in both women and men. Its a universal problem we have to individually address within ourselves. Also, i think your tree analogy is a little off. Small trees somehow get the nutrients and the sunlight they need to grow big in the first place. So really, its as if the rest of the forest shares its nutrients with the smaller, softer and weaker ones. So really, we should be more like the forest where we show love to one another, no matter how soft or weak, in order to help one another grow strong.
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The ladies meant that she loved you when she WAS with you. Not now. They say that because of her strong emotional response to not being with you. She wasn't loving you when she was antagonizing you. She was acting out in anger because she couldn't get what she wanted from you. This is an improper, unhealthy and low self-control response to anger. It isn't love. Also, the comment above had interesting advice. Act feminine with her and be all over her with too much affection like she is your only priority in life, and you'll turn her off to the point of her being glad she isn't with you. I've never thought of that. What a simple way to deal with that type of thing lol. Its manipulative though and it requires dishonesty, so there is no guarantee that would work, and if she has a scarcity mindset or has an unhealthy attachment or is just extremely loyal to you, she might just stick around even though she is turned off and doesn't like your behavior. So you'll be taking a chance. Then she'll be even more mad that you left because she stuck with you, even though you turned her off. So I think honesty like you've been doing is actually best.
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@Yumirow Her vengeful attitude is certainly not love. That's her uncontrolled anger. Assuming he left her, her anger comes from him leaving her, which hurt her. It hurt her because she loved him, and she thought he loved her and she figured things would stay that way. So breaking up with her is like throwing a huge wrench in all of that, and changing her whole life path around. So the anger is understandable, but the immature and vengeful actions are not. If she had no love for him, she would have been unaffected by the breakup because she would not have been hurt, and therefore, she would not have been angry.
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@Morgy Orgy I completely agree with you. I'm saying that people like her are still capable of feeling love. They can feel it for someone, but not know how to properly show it due to never having a proper example. She doesn't know HOW to love. That's why she could not properly let you go in a loving way. She likely saw others be vengeful and scornful as she was growing up. She wasn't taught self-control, which is a big part of love. I'm not making an excuse for her. What she did isn't loving at all. It's still not ok no matter what. She just didn't know how to show love, especially in that situation. She is basically a feral person when it comes to these situations, because she was never taught correctly and was likely inadvertently taught the wrong things. That doesn't mean that she cannot FEEL it. Everyone is capable of feeling it, but feeling it and showing it are two different things. So if she said she loved you, it's not that she was lying about that. It's just that she had no clue what she was doing. Many people have this problem due to many parents not knowing what they are doing either, and we have to apply ourselves and learn these things as adults if we are willing. Her upbringing or her ignorance does not excuse her actions, though.
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