Comments by "Leo" (@Leoo117) on "Mother love vs. father love: understanding their strengths and liabilities" video.

Feeling like you aren't good enough can come from multiple things. Its not necessarily from a negligent mother. The doc is wrong about this being the only cause. It's actually only a potential cause because people cope with it in different ways. If you have feelings of not being good enough, it can come from anybody putting you down or not giving you recognition at any point in childhood or even adulthood. This becomes an insecurity that stsys because of putting yourself down and being too hard on yourself. At the end of the day, it's just a perspective you have on yourself, and you have the ability to change that perspective to the truth by giving yourself permission to be a beginner and learn slowly and be patient with yourself and stopping negative self-talk in it's tracks when it comes up. And remember the truth, which is that you are good enough for anything just like everyone else is, and just because you can't get what you want sometimes doesn't necessarily mean something about you.
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I'd say love means kindness, upbuilding, respect, discipline, calm, teaching, and honesty. All of this is necessary from both mothers and fathers. Holding back any of these things or doing the opposite of them is what creates trauma wounds that must be healed. Its really that simple. Irresponsibility of either parent can cause the trauma wounds you speak of. The main difference of mothers and fathers is really just about who leads the family and who the calm rock is and who the softer one to go to is. Also, you really shouldn't teach that there is some kind of negative aspect associated with failing, because thats teaching fear. That may be an insecurity or fear that you personally have. In reality, failure is simply a means to learn and adjust. Its important that we teach kids AND adults that we must give ourselves permission to be a beginner. This mindset takes the pressure off and allows us to focus 100% on learning and improving with no fear to get in the way. We teach our own values and beliefs and boundaries to our children, even if we don't realize it. It happens no matter what, so the most important thing to do is to humbly self-reflect, so we can make sure we have things right with ourselves before we go and teach things to our kids.
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@Kazeshini25663 Because we all deserve it because we are all capable of achieving the things that make us happy. Anyone that says otherwise is coming from a fearful perspective that says they will never get what they want. When any of us don't feel good enough, it's a fear deep down that we are experiencing, and if we give into that fear, we give up, and therefore make the belief that we are not good enough valid for OURSELVES. We validate our false belief. That's called a self-fulfilling prophecy. If we FACE that fear and realize that it's OK if things don't work out, we'll be able to accept it and keep going, and learn what we might have done wrong, and then try again with a new opportunity with our new adjustments until we get it right. Having the humility to do that will help us adjust our perspectives also, and find that we are good enough to get the things we want, and it was actually always within our grasp. Even if we fail at first, we just learn and adjust our approach for next time. Everyone is capable of this. We are all good enough because we are all capable of growing and changing. Those who choose to stick to that fear of not being good enough will prevent themselves from growing. It takes a humble attitude to free ourselves from that.
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@donaldturner5124 What a phenomenal post. I really never thought I would see true wisdom on this channel like this. I'm glad you answered because Orion literally never says any of this stuff in ANY of his videos because he doesn't actually know any of it, but has somehow misled himself into thinking he understands it.
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Single mother's aren't necessarily horrible. It's just that your ex-wife has absolutely no boundaries or rules for herself, and as a result, she lives kind of like an animal where anything goes that feels good in the moment. And because she has no boundaries and values only fun and feeling good so much, she teaches that toxic mindset to her kids. Wheras YOU are a force for good. Not because you are the father, but because you have actual boundaries and value health and actual self-control and good habits. You have a much healthier mindset than your ex-wife. You did a good job staying calm and teaching your son by having a chat and NOT yelling and not leading with anger. You taught him a lot just by the way you showed up. THAT is the proper way a person teaches and shows actual love to their children. You corrected him firmly, but also with kindness and respect. That's how both mothers and fathers are supposed to be. You did an amazing job and your kids are much better off for having you in their lives.
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