Comments by "Leo" (@Leoo117) on "The truth about good relationships: tea over rice" video.

  1. The doc is just trying to convince a woman to take him and stay with him even if she isn't feeling it. Because he doesn't understand how attraction works, which is why he can't understand why a good woman might say her relationship is boring. That's really what this is about. Just like the movie he mentioned. The woman in that movie had issues in that movie because she was pressured into an arranged marriage to a man she wasn't in love with. Valid reasoning for her behavior that the doc ignores. Anyway, she started noticing his good qualities and started liking him, which is why she calmed down, which can happen. But also, in real life, if the man has no clue what he is doing, he won't be able to spark her romantic interest and actually turn her on. Dudes who refuse to LEARN how to do that like the doc here just keep trying to use logic and intelligence to talk the woman into being with them and doing what the man wants, and that rarely ever works out. Men with this mentality usually mess up with the good women and end up picking the women that cause problems, which further validates their worldview. I can say he is one of those men for sure because lots of his videos give advice that will drive away good women and attract problematic women.
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  2. Not true. Good relationships never have to be boring. Toxicity obviously isn't the only way to shake things up. Good and peaceful relationships can easily be enjoyable and fun, too. Wholesome fun and conversations exist too. Not only that, but you seem to forget your psychology training. When someone is causing unnecessary problems like in the movie you mentioned, its usually because they are still harboring the anger or sadness from the trauma they've experienced and they have yet to properly face it and address it. So it shows up in other ways, often toward themselves or the people closest to them. Doesn't make it ok, but this is usually why. Also, the lady in the movie was mad because she was forced to be in an arranged marriage. So, while it was an awesome lesson for her to focus more on his good qualities, which helped her calm down and accept him, its also good to take away the lesson that as a man or a woman, its not good to marry someone that clearly isn't in love with you, because that will obviously cause unnecessary issues. I should add that if a woman is calling you boring, it's because you aren't being yourself and you aren't taking the lead like the masculine man you are. It could also be because you have gotten complacent and stopped the courtship all together or because you talk about yourself and your accomplishments too much and rarely show interest in her. It's never because you are healthy or wholesome. If you're called boring by a girlfriend doc, these are the things you are doing wrong.
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  3. ​ @patrickrada2923 I don't think Dr. Taraban is being purposefully evil or malicious. He is just avoidant. On one hand, he is trying to help, but on the other hand, he is always trying to enable his own outlook because he is comfortable and doesn't want to self-reflect. This is why he always mixes in some truth, with misleading information. For example, it's true that partners should strive to look for the good qualities in each other, but it's misleading to tell people that boredom is what they have to look forward to. Those other videos you mentioned where he talked about entertaining adventures contradict his talk about boredom in this one, but even in those OTHER videos, he went too extreme, because all you have to do is have fun with your girl and make dates every now and then. And it doesn't have to be super extravagant or costly or spontaneous. You don't have to lie about planning them because women just love that you're taking the lead to make a date. Pretending that it was spontaneous is unnecessary, and lying is exhausting. Worrying about being perceived as boring is exactly what will drive away your partner and good people in general. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Also, he doesn't fully understand emotional maturity. A huge part of an emotional mature person is always being willing to self-reflect on your own behavior and outlook, but the doc has spoken out against self-reflection in one of his videos.
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