General statistics
List of Youtube channels
Youtube commenter search
Distinguished comments
About
Leo
The New York Times
comments
Comments by "Leo" (@Leoo117) on "China Doesn't Like That I'm a Single Woman, Here's Why | Op-Docs" video.
Her dad is so concerned with pleasing others, that he cannot even answer such a simple question honestly. Thats a stressful way to live. The problem in this instance is actually with him and his insecurities, and not his daughter. His ability to answer questions has nothing to do with her.
8
The man is basically saying that when he has a wife, he will not value her opinion or input at all. He just wants to feed and clothe her. That's not a relationship, that's a business deal. The man should indeed take the lead, but in a loving way where the woman feels free to be herself and is valued. Leading in a repressive way is not loving at all.
6
@samb123078 Yes, its true that actions do in fact speak louder than words. She is dating because she would like to find a decent man. This doesn't mean settling for one that basically tells her he will not value her opinion or her input at all. She actually has a healthy standard. She doesn't have to please her parents and lying is a bad way to go. Honesty about oneself is an attractive quality. Lying is a red flag and very unattractive. Also, there are in fact lots of men who are in fact threatened by a woman who makes more money or are smart. Not physically threatened, but psychologically threatened, because they have insecurities within themselves of not being good enough, and a woman that is doing better than them in certain areas ends up bringing those insecurities to the surface, and they end up pulling away, or say something to somehow undermine the woman's success. If a man can humbley face those insecurities and conquer them, he will understand that a successful woman actually speaks to good and attractive qualities about her like being responsible and having courage to go after what she wants and being able to take care of herself. Being successful doesn't automatically mean she would make a good girlfriend, but it does say something good about her.
6
@samb123078 Hey man, I understand wanting to go out with a beautiful and young woman. If that is your only standard to chose a woman though, I won't judge you for that. It's your choice. Yes, we do have that physical desire, but we are also programmed with the ability to reason and to have a deeper relationship that goes beyond just physical attraction. We can't possibly have that though unless we raise our standards. Yes, that will considerably lower the amount of people to date, but we have a much larger chance of having a fulfilling relationship. I agree that her family wants the best for her, but their version of the best is to rush it and settle for someone that they are not in love with. She knows that we can all do better than that, so she won't settle for it. We can only raise our standards though if we can get to a place where we are happy with ourselves and hold ourselves to a higher standard first. Higher standards do not necessarily include education and money by the way.
4
@samb123078 Fair enough. I'm with you on how a man needs to feel some type of attraction, and that's what he often notices first. That doesn't count 40 year old single women out though. They're still attractive. At least in my opinion. Personally, when I first met my wife, I thought she was a beautiful woman, but I didn't have a reason to like her romantically until I began talking to her and got to know a few things about her that I really liked. After that, I started getting the urge to ask her out. That's only because my standards had changed. Beauty is good, but it was no longer the standard to get my attention romantically. Anyway, it sounds like you have standards as well.
2
Those were actually the interviewers own fears that she was projecting onto her. They are fears that many people were inadvertently taught to have sadly. It's not only China though. This type of fearful and limiting belief system is all over the world.
2