Comments by "Mark Zuckergecko" (@markzuckergecko621) on "Today I Found Out" channel.

  1. One big bad villain is easier for people to understand, and more importantly, easier to process. The alternative is realizing there was a little bit of villain in everyone involved.
    299
  2. There was a mayor in California a long time ago that had garlic planted all over town, to ward off vampires. May sound a little kooky, but there were zero vampires in his town. It's not crazy if it works!!!
    119
  3. The last 3 years have shown us which people would clap and cheer for something like this happening today.
    99
  4. So if the cicada air force has a motto, it's "they can't kill us all!"
    83
  5. ​ @chrisrodriguez7351  nobody can kick your ass on the internet. So people get extra froggy and say things anonymously to strangers that they would never say to someone's face.
    79
  6. Jesus is definitely real, he fixed my air conditioning the other day. And his cousin Reynaldo fixed my toilet a few weeks before that. Good people.
    67
  7.  @timothyhouse1622  yes, everyone that supports the right to self defense is at least intelligent enough to understand that it's the most basic freedom required for any society that considers itself free. That's more than can be said for you.
    54
  8. Average life expectancy is misleading, when you hear that it used to be 40 or whatever, that doesn't mean people were just dropping dead when they were 40, it's mostly because of infant mortality, and people dying of sickness when they were kids. People still lived to their 80s and even longer pretty regularly.
    50
  9. What Simon may lack up top, he makes up for tenfold with that magnificent beard.
    40
  10.  @collincutler4992  is there such thing as an informed activist?
    36
  11.  @TheScrubsMackenzie  I'm picturing Bubba Black, listing off all the things you can drink Dr Pepper with. So basically the same as his listing of all the different ways you can cook shrimp.
    34
  12. It's anything the ruling class doesn't want the commoners to have, which is anything the commoners can use to defend themselves from the ruling class. And remarkably, many of the commoners support these measures.
    33
  13. For real, it's not nearly as bad as how a lot of animals die in nature. I would rather get shot in the head with a bolt gun than tossed around like a chew toy by a polar bear for several minutes before it eventually decides to quit playing and eat me.
    32
  14.  @collincutler4992  yea I was impressed too, usually when you see a video like this online it's just a lecture about how we should surrender our rights so the boot can rest more comfortably on our necks. Well done on Simon.
    31
  15. How is it irrational to fear being buried alive? I guess you could make the argument that it's irrational to think it's a significant possibility, and take obsessive steps to ensure that you don't get buried alive. Considering it's exceedingly rare, so it's not something very rational to obsess over. But assuming that it were to happen to you, I'm pretty sure every single person that's ever existed would be terrified. Except maybe Chuck Norris.
    24
  16. Shhhh. Kraken may be listening. I've already said too much.
    19
  17. Shhhh. You're not allowed to question the religion of peace, that accounts for the overwhelming majority of religiously inspired terrorist attacks. That's a no-no.
    18
  18.  @TeslaHaxz  yep, all while the 2nd group accuses the first group of wanting people to die.
    16
  19. I can't believe Simon did this whole video without mentioning the most legendary Pirate of all, Roberto Clemente.
    16
  20.  @Balthorium  I've actually thought about this a lot, and if we were able to achieve time travel, it would probably be a one way ticket. Because as soon as you travel back in time, you're inevitably going to change something that will change the future, and the present that you came from no longer exists, at least not from your perspective. You've started a new and separate timeline, like an alternate universe. Would be really interesting to see what changes, because one person probably isn't going to have that much direct impact on anything globally speaking, but the little things you do impact will impact other things, and so on and so on.
    15
  21. I knew a guy that killed his wife. Far cry from a serial killer, I know, but the freaky part is he got caught a month or so after the fact, she was buried in their back yard. And he had been coming to the bar and hanging out in the time since, I had drinks with a dude who's murdered wife was in a shallow grave as we spoke. Yuck.
    14
  22.  @jennyanydots2389  you should probably take a look at the literacy rates in liberal cities. And that's with the aid of millions in tax dollars.
    14
  23.  @brenthood2337  my guess is you couldn't hit a whale from 20 feet even if you had 100 rounds.
    13
  24.  @AnotherPointOfView944  500 is a big number. 330 million is a bigger number.
    13
  25.  @brainfaucet  imagine how embarrassing that would be, the stranger would think everyone in DC is completely ignorant of the history of Dr Pepper. It wouldn't just reflect poorly on you, it would reflect poorly on your entire community.
    13
  26. Whether the hysteria was misdirected or not, it's still not a bad idea to go through your kids' candy, just to make sure none of it is opened or has anything else wrong with it that could be harmful. And just to make sure they don't eat 30lbs of Reese's and Kit Kats, and become diabetic by 10.
    13
  27. Sssshhhhh, some of them could see this.
    11
  28. The point is for them to feel like they're better than everyone without actually having to try to be a decent person.
    11
  29. Well this is a stupid question, it's pretty clearly Honus Wagner. Honorable runner up to Roberto Clemente and Ralph Kiner.
    10
  30. It really is super weird, "now get dressed up so you're barely recognizable, then go door to door asking for candy. It'll be fine".
    9
  31. Simple answer: of course governments don't negotiate with terrorists, except when they do.
    8
  32. Like a Kuma/Yoshimitsu hybrid.
    8
  33. There have been over 100 Muslims who served in Israeli parliament. I don't think an apartheid state would let ethnic or religious minorities serve in their government. And war is not genocide, it's war.
    8
  34. "Blue peacock" sounds like it means something dirty.
    8
  35. I've actually thought about this quite a bit, it's because "real" wrestling is quite boring to most people, all of the cool shit like suplexes and body slams and all that is really hard to perform against someone with good defense, that's why in collegiate or Olympic wrestling, they mostly use more tame, practical techniques. And in a long form, freestyle like match, it would likely go on forever and result in just fighting for position on the ground for insanely long amounts of time. Basically just be a war of attrition. So they fix it because it's more entertaining, they just let each other perform all of the cool moves that everyone wants to see.
    7
  36. IT'S THE WORLD'S MOST GIANT HOCKEY PUCK, EH!
    7
  37. Yep, handguns account for the lion's share. Someone who intends to use it to harm you probably doesn't want you to see it.
    6
  38. It's Gustave the Nile crocodile, his body count is an estimated 300.
    6
  39. I think the idea of having regulations is a good idea, but that doesn't mean the way we're going about it doesn't have its own problems. Giving so much authority over to the hands of a few will always cause corruption.
    6
  40.  @6lillium  the right to self defense is inherent, and can only be taken away, never granted. How's that for an objective thought?
    6
  41. Because that's what the "United States" part means, each state is it's own government, within a greater federal government. Electoral College ensures that each state has a voice, not just the 3 or 4 most populated states. And those states still have a bigger voice than the smaller ones, just not to as great a degree as they would with a national popular vote. Nobody wants a national popular vote, not even the people who think that's what they want.
    6
  42.  @justinpyle3415  I got stung by an assault wasp a few weeks ago.
    6
  43. -shills for snack foods. -makes video about poop.
    5
  44.  @alanhilder1883  I know you're being sarcastic, but this is an accidentally sarcastic/ironic statement. The existence of federal agencies overseeing the market will always lead to a bottleneck in the market, because the biggest companies that have the most money can buy the most political influence.
    5
  45. This.... Could mean 2 things.
    4
  46.  @bsadewitz  of course it's a complex topic, because there's a lot of different roads you can take to end up back at the same inevitable conclusion. But that doesn't mean all roads are the same, sometimes you can maintain a society and government for a long amount of time, sometimes you fail miserable and almost immediately. But every society eventually collapses.
    4
  47. Don't get snippy about it.
    4
  48. No, well you see, the thing about that, is like, it's different. Because like.... You see ... It's just.... Well you know. It's different.
    4
  49.  @Sol-Orion  you know who else has hands? The devil! And he used them for holding!
    3
  50. Plus you don't care so much about being cold, or uncomfortable in general. Because you're drunk.
    3
  51. Lmao, this is a joke now, but in a week there probably will be people digging through the past to cancel historic figures for being "anti-vaxxers".
    3
  52. I thought "half staff" is what happens when you watch those fitness videos with mildly attractive women in spandex.
    3
  53.  @Lutonman2010  it doesn't matter why or if you need it, what matters is criminals don't care about the law.
    3
  54.  @dondavis9543  seriously, there's very little margin for error on a lot of the high level maneuvers they perform, people can get severely injured or even killed. And even in the best of circumstances, those guys still get beat up and knocked around, I'm sure anyone who spent a considerable amount of time in the business have completely jacked backs and knees. I'm not a fan personally, I like MMA, but I have a ton of respect for pro wrestlers, they're real athletes.
    2
  55. ​ @JeffBilkins neither does Mexico.
    2
  56.  @timothyhouse1622  your parents didn't need to bring you into the world, but they did, and everyone is worse for it.
    2
  57. ​ @fearthehoneybadger I heard we were also going to annex Canada, and rename it "Gay North Dakota".
    2
  58. ​ @fearthehoneybadger haven't you heard? The Babylon Bee is no longer parody, because reality has passed them in absurdity.
    2
  59. I said something similar, but my comment got deleted. Predictably.
    2
  60. My guess is he was probably a lot like most modern leftists.
    2
  61. Ask antifa. They're basically the same thing.
    2
  62.  @auro1986  so everything besides a musket?
    2
  63. I think it's like "karate", the Americanized version is so common that it's become a sort of acceptable pronunciation.
    2
  64. A Michael Bay movie wasn't 100% realistic? My whole world is upside down.
    2
  65. You can't possibly know that.
    2
  66.  @wtice4632  most Americans would be more healthy if they had a greater proportion of veggies to meat for most meals.
    2
  67.  @wtice4632  2 problems can both exist.
    2
  68. I've always thought submarine cruises would be an awesome idea. Just shallow depth, but imagine how awesome it would be with a bunch of plexiglass windows where you can just cruise around and have some drinks and watch sharks and shit just doing normal shark stuff. I think people would get behind that.
    2
  69. It's hilarious how they'll call someone a Nazi just for having a slight disagreement politically, and turn a blind eye to actual Nazis in Ukraine. It's like they're wrong on purpose.
    2
  70. ​ @AugustTheStag try deciding what to have for a company lunch of 20 employees. That's why.
    2
  71. @trance9158  shook, I tells ya. Thoroughly shooken.
    2
  72. Get rid of the communists, and there won't be any Nazis or fascists either.
    1
  73. This is an easy answer, when 2 hills love each other very much....
    1
  74.  @pheonixempire1689  Stephen Segal is also a real person, that doesn't mean all of his delusions about his abilities and accomplishments are real.
    1
  75. Fascism is just communism that targets itself at a specific type of idiot, whereas communism targets itself at all idiots.
    1
  76.  @AnotherPointOfView944  that's negligible in a nation of 330 million people, think of the most bizarre and unlikely cause of death your mind can even fathom, and it's probably more than 500 annually.
    1
  77.  @justinpyle3415  and the same people who say that number is "unacceptable" also advocate for millions of undocumented aliens coming into the country, many of which are gang members and human smugglers.
    1
  78. I would take a bolt gun to the head over the way most prey animals typically get killed by predators.
    1
  79. Nah, it's Honus Wagner. Clemente was great, but Wagner was statistically the greatest SS of all time. The only argument against him is that he played in the way back when, when the game was a lot different, it's hard to really compare stats from back then to stats now. But I think that argument is bullshit, you can't hold the era someone played in against them, they don't have any control of when they existed.
    1
  80. Clemente was kind of put on a pedestal because of his humanitarian efforts, and the way that he died tragically. And I'm not trying to diminish from that, he definitely deserves 100% of the admiration he gets for that, and he really was a great player too. But if you're just looking at it objectively, on the field achievements only, Wagner was better.
    1
  81. Are there wild sausages in Africa? I guess you learn something new every day.
    1
  82. ​ @justinpyle3415 you can use wei.rd spa cing an!d punc chew a shun too, that trips up the algorithm pretty well.
    1
  83.  @mikerich32  except you don't have to punch anyone in the face, or rape anyone. But you have to eat. Try again.
    1
  84. Don't worry my friend, all you have to do is show them anime and they'll be distracted long enough for you to make an escape.
    1
  85.  @michaelangelos5117  Honus Wagner.
    1
  86.  @michaelangelos5117  nah, didn't play with them long enough. Most of his best years were with the Giants.
    1
  87. Is this you, Joe Biden?
    1
  88.  @Pomni740  why not? Animals kill animals. Something has to die in order for every animal to eat.
    1
  89. That's sort of our thing as a species though, we kill the shit out of each other, and other species.
    1
  90.  @owenshebbeare2999  I understand that, but a good action movie usually picks a lane, it's either over the top and as ridiculous as possible for the sake of entertainment, or it takes place in "the real world". Internal logic is important for a truly good movie. Michael Bay notoriously does not adhere to this principle.
    1
  91.  @Pleezath  the closest I can come to agreeing with vegans on diet is that most Americans do eat too much meat. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't eat any meat at all. As far as from an ethical point of view, there's no logic whatsoever, they're just weak people that are easily swayed by propaganda and emotional manipulation, and they become addicted to the unearned sense of superiority. Vegans are some of the most horrible people in the world, no joke, get to know one. I guarantee they're a dishonest, backstabbing, just awful person in every way possible. All of them are.
    1
  92. Arise, chicken. Chicken, arise.
    1
  93.  @penguinwarcry  spoken by the cult that's burning ballot boxes down.
    1
  94. You mean pregnant women? Because those are the only people who can get pregnant.
    1
  95.  @jamesdouglas6977  and only a handful of those incidents happen in schools, or any of the other things media likes to harp on. Most of them happen in inner cities. And most of the "school" incidents they use as statistics are when some jackass brings his dad's pew pew to school and it goes off in his backpack, nobody is actually injured. They count those in the statistics to help artificially inflate the numbers and cause hysteria.
    1
  96. ​ @ForestFire369  why the hell would anyone use a sledgehammer to kill cows? That doesn't even sound like it could be true. The OP is either making that up, or someone actually told him that but they were just goofing off to see if they were stupid enough to believe it. It definitely didn't happen.
    1
  97. ​ @picolete  why they hell would they ever do that? Do you honestly think you could kill a cow with a sledgehammer in one shot? Cows are fucking huge, it would probably take 5 or 6 hits at least. And think about the mess. Good lord, critical thinking buddy.
    1
  98. That's a false dichotomy, just because someone does something self destructive doesn't mean they can't also help people. There have been plenty of addicts throughout history who were also known for great contributions to society.
    1
  99. ​ @coltenhunter2000 all the big cities do agree on politics, because they're hive minded zombies. You're accidentally proving the point.
    1
  100.  @coltenhunter2000  that's really not a fair analogy at all, since the "management" doesn't just decide who the President is. That wouldn't be an election at all. A better comparison would be management giving the employees 2 or 3 options to choose from, instead of just an open ended vote.
    1
  101. Simon, you trouble maker.
    1
  102. So it's not a real doctor? I'm shook. Next thing ya know, someone is gonna tell me Dr. Dre isn't a real doctor, and Judge Reinhold isn't a real judge.
    1
  103.  @aruak321  that's not true at all, there are plenty of differences in governance from state to state, from taxes, to criminal justice, and everywhere in between. That's the entire point of having a nation of smaller nations, so you can move freely to the state that best fits your ideals.
    1
  104. Pretty much everything the Nazis did, the soviets did, but worse and on a much larger scale.
    1
  105. Every American and European should be studying Nazis closely, so you know what the left plans to do next.
    1
  106. ​ @hd8591 it's BCE, "Before common era", and AD, which to them means "after death", if I'm not mistaken. They're just butt hurt because they hate religion, and they're trying to force everyone else to hate more stuff.
    1