Comments by "Mark Zuckergecko" (@markzuckergecko621) on "The Babylon Bee" channel.

  1. I swapped out the turkey for a bluejay I found in the yard. Seasoned the hell out of it, I don't think my family will notice.
    56
  2. I would say gynecologist, but the good ones can feel their way around.
    28
  3. Locker room towel fighting.
    24
  4. I'm just glad I'm a man so I don't have to see my junk bleeding 5 days out of the month.
    18
  5. You really can't argue against this from the same progressive framework as they apply to gender identity. So it's not satire really.
    10
  6. The 1.000/4.000/5.000 slash line got me🤣
    8
  7. ​ @DankKnutts (sniffs around) "Did you jog here?"😂😂🤣🤢🤮
    7
  8. I only eat the 3 main food groups - beer, gummy candy, and Taco Bell. And I've never felt better.
    6
  9. I stand with the US, other countries should take care of their own ass.
    6
  10. Yep, the Rooskies still haven't figured out how locks work. True facts.
    5
  11. Fish pole dance market tabulation in the best goose! Words!
    4
  12. You know what's pretty crazy, is I saw this analytic breakdown of umpires a few years ago, and Hernandez wasn't the worst, I don't think he was even in the bottom 5. I don't really know how much I trust analytics in something like that, it's kinda like defensive statistics in baseball, it can give you a decent idea, but it doesn't tell the whole story. But as notorious as he was, he still wasn't the worst.
    4
  13. I heard he wears pants. Hitler wore pants!!!!
    2
  14. Oh damn, you guys partied with Diddy too? Say it ain't so.
    1
  15. Maybe it's recency bias, and maybe it's because they show the digital strike zone on the screen now, but it really seems like umpires have gotten worse in recent years.
    1
  16. 1) daughter's wedding. 2) dog dies. 3) end of Field of Dreams. That is all.
    1
  17. Now let's find a progressive that can actually tell us how this isn't completely consistent with their ideology about self identification.
    1