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Mark Zuckergecko
Ryan Long
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Comments by "Mark Zuckergecko" (@markzuckergecko621) on "Ryan Long" channel.

This is one of my coworkers, 100%. She dates some drug addict that lives with his mom and has no money, she falls in love, they break up because he was using her for drug money, she swears it's "the last time" and she's going to date a "good guy" next. And the cycle repeats. For the entire 5 plus years I've known her.
1900
I love how 90% of the people who hate Tucker can't give you a coherent reason why they hate him.
1600
I have a coworker that's half Nigerian and half Mexican, I always joke with her that she has a partial pass, she could say it but she would have to carry a picture of herself with her Nigerian dad to confirm authenticity.
368
As someone who's been sober for almost 4 years, this is pretty damn funny.
280
I've always been curious how people get into fields like gynecology and proctology, and I completely understand that it's necessary, but I also have to be a little suspicious of anyone who had that as their first choice in med school. And I wouldn't really want a doctor that had to settle for a 2nd or 3rd choice career either, but if someone WANTED to be an ass doctor, that's a little weird.
162
There's a scene from this movie called "Run, Ronnie, Run!" where they're all gathered around one of those hippie self help circles meditating and doing weird cleansing exercises, and the "guru" guy tells them to go around and say their deepest desires. This stereotypical pothead hippie starts talking about how he wants weed to be legalized and free and given out to everyone, and starts listing off all the reasons it would "help everyone", because he just cares so much of course. And at the end he says "and I just want a little bit of it to smoke. Just a little bit"🤣🤣🤣 perfectly exemplifies how these type of people pretend to care about other people for their own personal gain.
149
It's probably part of why they're so bitter and angry all the time, they spend 24 hours a day wrestling with all their conflicting and obviously nonsensical views of the world. It would actually be easier to take a step back and maybe change some of their views based on the world around them that they can see and touch, but they won't do it, because they're so damn arrogant they think of admitting they're wrong as some kind of mortal sin. They would rather just continue being wrong than admit that they're wrong.
129
@johnbaker5906 ORANGE MAN BAD! LET'S GO BRANDON!
122
I hear you can get an honorary pass by not paying your child support for 6 consecutive months.
121
@connor4169 the left is pushing great replacement theory, Tucker just points it out.
115
They always make me think of Alec Baldwin from Team America, trying to explain why the corporations are bad. Cuz you see, they're all..... Corporatione-y. And stuff.
83
Not as annoying as the "both sides are bad" argument, sure, garden variety Republicans suck, they're career politicians who just want to stay in power and not rock the boat. But 95% of the crazy is coming from the left, anyone with an ounce of objectivity and honesty can see that. Saying both sides are bad is like getting stung by a bee while you're getting mauled by a bear, and saying "both of these things suck". Yea, getting stung by a bee isn't pleasant, but I think you have a bigger problem than the bee right now.
64
Yea it doesn't leave a whole lot to the imagination. And then they wonder why men "objectify" them.
54
I'm gonna go bear hunting with nothing but a switchblade, and then get a mani/pedi.
54
@Seventh lmao, the irony of you making up some Russian conspiracy, and accusing others of believing conspiracies🤣🤣🤣 self awareness - zero.
46
@rykwon4535 derp derp "both sides are bad!" Derpity derp.
45
@connor4169 where is the proof? Ummm..... Immigration statistics? I don't understand how it can be any more clear than that.
44
@kidcharlemagne1002 that's dangerous disinformation, I'm definitely not a lizard person. Hey, unrelated, do you have any crickets?
42
And you gotta love how a man that doesn't want to date an overweight woman is to be shamed and ridiculed as a misogynist, but a woman who doesn't want to date a short man just has a "preference". And to be fair I don't care about the latter, women can be attracted to whoever they want. I just think the double standard is ridiculous. Especially since you can lose weight, but you can't get taller.
36
@adamc1937 could be worse, at least it wasn't Probesky.
35
These people genuinely think having a different political opinion than them is worse than murder. They're defective.
28
And then you look at the difference in results between men's and women's sports, it shows. Most women's sports have a handful of superstars that completely dominate, my guess would be because their coaching and upbringing was more like most male athletes than female.
28
@TheShepdawg9 they sound like a girl saying that her friends ex is an asshole. Just as a reflexive response, because she doesn't even know why he's an asshole, he just is, because he's her friend's ex.
26
Sometimes you can even use it to your advantage, one of my ultimate "guilty pleasure" movies is a low budget indie called "Evil Alien Conquerors", they actually use the fact that it's low budget to do some ridiculously exaggerated bad effects, and even tie it into the story. It's brilliant, and stupid in all the best ways.
26
@Fractured_Unity you really don't understand the difference between fact and opinion, do you?
24
Because then they can complain about how hard it is to find a "good man".
21
I think the funniest plot twist ever would be if this isn't actually a troll account, it's the real Kamala Harris.
20
@xraylegend2444 he is pretty meme-able, some of his takes have been pretty outlandish. But the other funny part is that for all there is to criticize him for, leftists usually pick the stupidest nonsense to criticize him for.
18
@Fractured_Unity and yet all you've demonstrated is that you don't understand the difference between fact and opinion.
17
@RoyArrowood it's always cracked me up when they try to use that "born that way" argument, it's so stupid and nonsensical. If someone asked you why you like chocolate ice cream more than vanilla, you probably wouldn't spaz out and start screeching about how you were born that way, and it's not a choice. Because it doesn't matter, you can like whatever kind of ice cream you want, for any reason you want, or no reason at all. Unless it's pistachio, because that's an abomination, and you're a bad person if you like it.
16
@dixonhill1108 I'll be the one laughing when aliens invade and challenge us to a trivia contest for the rights to Earth. We'll see how "useless" all that information is then, Mr. Practicality.
15
Lmao, I have to imagine that's his response to basically everything. Boss: can you come into work Saturday? Crazy guy: is fire. Dad: your mother is sick, she's not doing well. Crazy guy: is fire. Police: sir, you're under arrest for arson... Crazy guy: is fire. Police: yes. "Is fire". Now come with us please.
15
I used to think my dog was racist, because she would bark at black people a lot around our apartment complex. But one day we saw this shady white dude walking around with his hood up on a sunny, hot day, looking around the parking lot and into car windows, she went crazy barking at him from the porch. It was then I realized she just doesn't like shady people, she can tell what people we should be leery of. Make what you will of that, considering she barks at black people a lot more often than anyone else.....
12
They can't audit all of us.
9
@Fractured_Unity what does the right believe that's incorrect?
7
@kidcharlemagne1002 bro, have you seen a gecko? What the hell am I going to do to a chicken? I should be more scared of the chicken than they are of me. I mean....... Nah man, I'm definitely not a lizard.
6
There was that one about the guy, and there's that other song about another guy. And then she had a different one that was about another different guy. You know the song.
6
@danielkoschalka3955 the very worst that would reasonably happen is the police come and say hey guy, move along, and are terribly annoyed with being called out for such nonsense in the first place.
5
That's different, what you're allowed to say in that regard is determined by whether you have establishment approved political positions, not based on identity.
5
@colonless7512 modern SNL, up through the 90s SNL was great, they used a lot of over the top "bad" prop comedy too, which was even more hilarious because if anyone had the budget to use better props, it was them.
5
Billy William well if you want to dive into the philosophical bullshit that we don't really know anything with absolute certainty, then sure, I guess, but a reasonable person has to accept that a certain amount of certainty is good enough. There's a very small chance that the flat earthers are right, but there's no real reason to believe that to be true, so my 99.99999% certainty that the earth is a spheroid is close enough for me.
4
Billy William yes, numbers don't lie, but they often don't tell the full truth. But some things are just factually incorrect, going back to the analogy about the rotten apple, you could measure the amount of apples that are rotten by the quantity of apples, or by the total mass of the apples, either of those are technically true, but if someone were to say "actually there are no rotten apples at all, because they're oranges", that person is incorrect, absolutely. That's not a matter of perspective or opinion.
4
@h1r086 but about the only reasonable scenario where you could say an apple isn't actually an apple is some whacked out shit like the universe is actually a simulation, and nothing is real. In which case there's no point in arguing about apples in the first place. Look, I understand what you're saying, I'm only saying that some things are well enough established that it's pretty silly to even debate over it, like whether an apple is actually an orange. No, it's not, we know with about as much certainty as is reasonably possible that an apple and an orange are 2 different fruits. And a lot of things aren't so clear, especially in politics, but that's not my point, I'm not talking about the things that are murky, I'm talking about the things that really aren't murky at all, like the fact that leftists tend to believe absolute false, manufactured narratives about covid and police brutality and shit like that. You can argue that it's bad, you can argue about how policy should be made around those things, that's fine, those are reasonable debates, but when someone believes that thousands of unarmed black men are killed by police every year, for no reason whatsoever, that person is just incorrect in that regard.
4
@Frederick0220 and several of them in this thread are accidentally proving me right.
4
YJT it's not necessarily that they're stupid, although most of them are definitely also stupid, but the main thing is city people tend to just not really pay attention to politics, probably because of how fast paced everything is, or who knows what other factors. But it's also considered fashionable to have a strong political opinion about everything. Somehow just saying "don't know, don't care" is not acceptable to city people. So they just pretend to know about things they know nothing about. And for the most part, nobody notices, because they also don't know shit but just pretend to know.
3
@Frederick0220 yea Texas people are the best. Given I've never lived anywhere else, only visited, but I've never really been anywhere else where the people are so hospitable and easy to get along with, Arkansas comes closest.
3
@erickradulescu9990 no, I haven't, but I'm sure you would make a killing, the whole Houston area is extremely heavily populated and people use rideshares a lot. Especially in Spring or Katy, both areas are heavily populated, pretty decent to high income for most people, and also kinda spread out where people do have to drive to get where they're going. Probably a prime location for that kind of work.
3
@Hugh Mongous yea I wasn't the unpredictable, angry drunk type either, I just drank too much and had way too much fun, ended up doing stupid shit a lot of the time.
3
Scott Adkins still keeping it real.
3
Yea but they come with the "gga" ending instead of the "gger", it's not the same.
2
Poor vegans, all they ever wanted was to shriek at strangers from some make believe moral high ground so they can feel like a good person without going through the trouble of actually being a good person. Is that too much to ask!?!?!?
2
@h1r086 but we're not talking about a new strain of fruit, we're talking about apples, just regular old apples the same as everyone knows them. And as far as the police brutality thing those are all opinions, that's fine. I even mostly agree with you, but that's exactly my point with all this. We can agree or disagree all day about stuff like that, neither one of us is necessarily correct, but someone who think outrageous things about the statistics is wrong. Period. And their opinion is also poorly informed, because they don't know the facts.
2
@adamnewman5575 you're a monster.
2
@zaprese probably during scary movies.
2
@brownjatt21 that is true to an extent, I have a pretty legendary record for pissing on and off of interesting places.
2
@VicePresidentKamala put both of your heels up if this is the real Kamala.
1
@tek3311 my guess is you're a 5'6" neckbeard who lives with your mom and works 30 hours a week at Starbucks.
1
Nothing says "fighting the establishment" by eagerly lining up for whatever experimental drug is being pushed by the biggest pharma corporation that's being backed by every powerful political entity. And shaming everyone who doesn't.
1
That's not true, they've watched several full minutes, chopped up and selectively edited with a leftist propagandist telling them why it's bad.
1
Kind of ironic that you're complaining about that while using shorthand like "B4" and "fk".
1
 @CalebColeKnows children are too lazy to spell out full words and speak articulately.
1
Not only that, they're the same people who wanted to defund or even abolish police completely, because a handful of criminals who are resisting arrest get killed every year.
1
@dontewashington3250 what's extra hilarious and nonsensical, is these are also the same people who constantly push for more socialist policies, and who have an ever expanding list of "human rights" that they think everyone should be entitled to, publicly funded by taxes. Except..... Security apparently. One of the few things that even conservatives agree should be publicly funded. Apparently the socialists don't think socialized emergency responders count, and that only rich people who can afford private security are entitled to security. Don't think they really thought their position through.
1
I was gonna say "in before the grammar police", but not surprisingly, they beat me.
1
Naggers?
1
@Fractured_Unity because the left believes complete nonsense, their entire worldview is verifiably false. That's not a matter of opinion. A man is not a woman, period. That doesn't mean the right is perfect, but cognitive dissonance isn't a requirement for being on the right like it is on the left.
1
@Fractured_Unity and some people think the earth is flat too, and they're wrong. Some things are a matter of difference in opinion, and some things are just plain wrong. And a large portion of what the left believes is wrong, it's not a matter of opinion, it's verifiably incorrect.
1
@Fractured_Unity nobody thinks climate change isn't real, most conservatives are just skeptical of the severity of man made climate change, and even more skeptical of the leftist solutions that seem to have little to nothing to do with the climate and almost everything to do with implementing socialism. "Exploiting the working class" is absolutely an opinion, and a very stupid opinion held by very stupid people, and the fact that you don't even understand that it's an opinion, and not a fact, is you accidentally proving me right, again. And conservatives have pretty varying views about LGBT issues, a lot, like me, really don't care at all, you can hump whoever you want to hump, as long as it's another consenting adult human, I really don't care, and if other people think that it's wrong or immoral, then that's absolutely an opinion, again, not a fact, and whether or not it's a choice or inherent is not only inconclusive, but also completely irrelevant. You making that argument is you accidentally admitting that you think being gay is somehow immoral, because otherwise you wouldn't really care if it was a choice. Because you wouldn't see anything wrong with making that choice. Got anything else, little fella?
1
@Fractured_Unity and it's also hilarious that you're calling it a non sequitur, when you're the one who brought it up. "Hey, don't use my own words against me!" That's what you're saying right now. You're a clown.
1
@h1r086 and the answer to nature vs nurture in most cases is varying degrees of both. That concept seems to be lost on most leftists, they want to see everything as black or white, left or right, nuance is a very difficult concept for them to understand. They don't seem to even understand the concept of that principle, they seem to think it means everything is either nature or nurture, which couldn't possibly be further from the truth.
1
@Fractured_Unity why are you so sure I haven't considered leftist arguments? I probably watch more leftist content than from moderates or conservatives, if not maybe 50/50. So I'm very well aware of other opinions, I've considered them, I understand why leftists think what they think. I even agree with certain things, at least partially. But there are other things you're just plain wrong about, inarguably. You believe every fake news bullshit hoax, without any scrutiny, and then you learn absolutely nothing and believe the next one too. Covington kids, Russiagate, pee-gate, Jussie Smollett, Bubba Wallace, the list goes on and on and on and on.
1
@h1r086 and I understand what you're saying, but some things are just plain untrue, like all the hoaxes leftists believe blindly, like I just mentioned. And conservatives believe fake shit too, but not nearly at the rate or as widely as the left does. And this isn't my opinion, there is data that tracks this. On numerous polls and studies where people were asked about political issues like covid, police brutality, taxation, people who self identified as leftists gave the lowest percent of correct responses, by a tremendous margin. If someone disagrees with me about how much taxes people should pay and how much social spending we should have, ok fine, I don't agree with them but that's their opinion, neither of us is necessarily wrong. But if they say that rich people don't pay any taxes, they're demonstrably wrong, the highest earners in the US pay a hugely disproportional amount of taxes compared to their income. This is a fact. It is not disputable. The numbers are there, anyone can see them.
1
@lookupverazhou8599 Musk Derangement Syndrome is my favorite new leftist psychosis.
1
@neotalin7238 so if I'm an artist in the 40s, and Hitler happens to like my art, that makes me the bad guy? That's bat shit insane reasoning, just because a "bad man" gives you praise doesn't make you a bad man by association. You lefties are nuts.
1
@Frederick0220 and the guy was a leftist, in his own words. They act like white supremacy = right wing, which is just completely false. Sure it can be right wing, historically it usually has been, but let's not forget the most infamous white supremacist group in American history (KKK) is and always has been a democrat organization. I've actually talked to "good ole boys" down here in the south that tried to join and got denied bc they aren't registered Democrats.
1
@Frederick0220 same here my man! Clear Lake to be more accurate. Lived in Texas all my life, Spring growing up, then San Antonio after high school, moved down to this side of Houston about 15 years ago.
1
@branmichaluk445 and the funniest part is that there are plenty of legitimate reasons to not like Trump, but the left always goes with baseless smears about him being racist or fascist. And I liked him a lot as president but he's not perfect, sometimes his attitude was too much and he alienated certain potential voters. But the left never criticizes that. I didn't like him keeping establishment neocons on staff. But the left never goes with that. I didn't like him just letting mouth breathing communists riot for an entire year without enforcing existing laws against it. But obviously the left liked that part. But they won't ever say it out loud.
1
They live in this delusional, hyperbolic world where having a different opinion from them is "like, literally violence!" and have completely lost sight of the fact that actual, literal violence is a thing that exists, and that it's probably worse than some kind of perceived, potential violence that only exists in their head.
1
The one dislike is Hannah Gadsby.
1
@mcmarkmarkson7115 the hoe market is over-saturated.
1
Lmao, that's actually a real thing, because there's some serious vitriol between donkeys and wolves and other wild dogs in natural habitations. You can take the donkey out of the wild, but you can't take the canine hatred out of the donkey 🤣
1
These guys are all going about this the wrong way, they should have just told her they stand with Ukraine.
1
These idiots are so narcissistic that they hold things as "threats" like "well I'll just leave Twitter and you won't be able to hear what I have to say!" Meanwhile normal people are sitting here saying "k, cool. Bye."
1
This reminds me of a friend I had in college who boycotted Walmart because they didn't honor a barely expired coupon. Dude legitimately thought he was "sticking it to the man" by depriving Walmart of a couple hundred dollars every few weeks.
1
@michaelkhan7012 there's nothing conspiratorial about it, the left and Democrats openly brag about bringing in as many immigrants as possible to help them win elections and reduce the white voting demographic. They've been doing it for years, and the white population has been steadily declining for decades, just a brief search will show you countless examples of people on the left clapping and cheering about the idea of a declining white population. Regardless of whether you think that's good, or bad, or you don't really care, this is an absolute fact, this is part of the Democrat platform.
1
@michaelkhan7012 the funny part is that most progressives would actually agree with a lot of what Tucker says, if they actually listened to him, and if they actually cared about the things they claim to care about and weren't just mindless drones, accidentally supporting the establishment they claim to hate.
1
@connor4169 Joe Biden and basically every notable democrat talking about the declining white population being a reason to celebrate, and "changing demographics" are a bad thing for Republicans? I would post links if YouTube let me, but you wouldn't look at them anyway. Because you don't want to know the truth, you just want to feel like you're right.
1
@JohnnyLodge2 it's unbelievable how leftists will brag, and cheer about declining white population, and turn around in the same breath and call you a "conspiracy theorist" just for noticing what they're saying.
1
@quartqwertbudisgood I only watch legacy MSM out of curiosity, just to see what they're saying, and just to troll lefties. But I haven't taken them seriously as a legitimate news source since the early 2000s, when I was in my early 20s and started paying attention to politics. So basically never, because I just didn't care before that.
1
🤣🤣🤣 what the shit was that guy talking about??🤣
1
This is fake news, there are no men in Portland.
1
Fox news sucks, it's corporate media, but they're far better than all the leftist channels, just because of the sheer fact the most of the Fox anchors say all the time, "don't take my word for it, listen to the other guys", and all CNN and MSNBC and the rest do is tell you not to listen to Fox because they're all liars. I trust the person telling me not to take their word for it over the person saying they're the only one telling the truth.
1
The left only cares about power. They don't care if you call out their hypocrisy, they're laughing at you for valuing things like honesty and consistent principles. They'll take anything they can take and make zero apologies, all while claiming to be the victim.
1