Comments by "Brian Meen" (@brianmeen2158) on "Solo Second Half" channel.

I just cared for my terminally ill mother for 8 months and it was brutal. I’m a strong and fit guy but that didn’t matter when you have someone that won’t let you help them and is defensive constantly. I was not equipped to handle that and the entire experience really changed my outlook on getting older and life itself. I want no part of life when I can no longer depend on myself to do basic things. That is not living to me - life is hard enough when you are able bodied so to lose that is just too much
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@bonitaburroughs8673 I’m sorry to hear that but that is a big issue with people that are childless. I worked with an older guy that lost his son a decade ago and his wife a few years after that .. all he had left was his dog who had to be put to sleep last November - he’s basically a shell of a human at this point and factor in worsening health and it’s a very bad situation
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And people will never understand how hard it is until they have to do it. Most people think taking care of an elderly ill parent is watching tv with them and occasionally fixing them a meal. Couldn’t be further from the truth
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@obstantiadiscindo and what’s worse is the younger generations are in worse health than our generation or older generations so they are going to run into big difficulties. Oh and factor in that many less of them are having kids and the Voss of life increasing and you have a mess
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“I’m still tired” Same here. I just cared for my mother for 8 months and she passed in feb. I’m still drained from it . I can’t imagine these folks that have been caring for a parent for 5 plus years. I don’t even know how that’s possible
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Same situation here. My mother passed a month ago and I’m still exhausted and grieving .. I don’t even know what to think of it all at this point
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@lisaorth3255 that’s a whole other problem that appears in situations like this - family members start fighting with each other over whose doing what .. for instance, I was taking care of my mother pretty much full time and my sister complained about having to take my mom to therapy twice a week. My brother was legit too busy with work and couldn’t get away that often but add all this together and it creates very hard feelings. And those feelings don’t always heal quickly . It’s all so exhausting
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@andrea_palmer do you have nurses coming in to help you occasionally? I can’t imagine doing what you are doing for 10 years on your own and like the lady in the video said - most kids are simply not equipped to handle that sort of situation .. I know me and my brother and sister weren’t
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“Brutally exhausting physically and emotionally” It really is. I never realized it until I went through it. I care for my Mother for 7 months and she was very defensive and had other issues. It got so weird and draining that I dreaded just asking her to drink water at times .. if I had to do it over again, I’d bring in hospice .
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@uberdummy21 oh sure many people that lose a partner end up in a real bad spot. The person they lived for and shared their life with is gone and most often they are older and health is decreasing as well. I look at someone like my sister and she will be in a very bad place if her husband passes before her
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@BSAllergy that’s a good question for the doctors themselves . Why are they extending the life of someone’s whose quality of life is so diminished ..? I have a cousin with dementia and she hasn’t said a full word in years yet is being kept alive and on a center that is outrageously expensive. I don’t understand it
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@penelopeprimrose90 she is a rarity though as most people do not take care of themselves. I see younger people that are in bad shape and can’t imagine how they will function down the road
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Yeah this would make for a very interesting discussion. What is a decent quality of life for one may be hellish for another .. I look at many 65+ year olds and I don’t want to live their life. If I’m in constant pain, my friends are all dead or in the same shape I am - the only thing I see is more pain and less freedom then I’m sorry but count me out. Life is hard enough for able bodied and minded people . Life isn’t about just enduring as much pain and torment as you can to get to the end of the day only to do it all Over again
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“For me, it’s the family issues with, the conflicts between them” Oh yes that was an added difficulty that I didn’t expect. I’ll never forget my sister endlessly complaining about having to take my mother to the therapist twice a week .. that was the only thing that we asked her to do and still complaints. Her husband had to deal with it and the fallout was nasty. And those hurt feelings don’t always heal that quickly
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@chronic2023 I just had a 5 month run of helping my 79 year old mother - she had heart failure, COPD and several strokes. To put it simply, it turned out to be a special kind of hell as she was overly defensive about everything - wouldn’t do basic things and demanded she do things herself which ended up in disaster.. she was a lovely woman too so to see her personality shift like it did was troubling and I’m a big strong guy more than able to help her in any way she needed. But it was refused and it just ended up in a very strained environment .. If I could do it over again I’d call in hospice or a health work to check in daily. My mothers insurance covered therapists for a few weeks but it was so minimal - they’d come out for a few weeks - twice a week(sometimes once) and for maybe 20 minutes and teach her a few exercises.. it was almost comical how ineffective it was .. But yes folks, if you are in this situation don’t be afraid to call in extra help, hospice or whatever as it will greatly benefit your family and your mother . Ultimately what’s worse is after these situations end, hurt or damaged feelings or relationships continue on which wreak their own havoc
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@SirenaSpades . Hiring help may not be enough but it’s the best many of us can do . Sometimes parents won’t go into assisted living centers
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lol good luck trying to get people to take better care of themselves .. most people eat terribly and don’t exercise .. the younger generations are much unhealthier than all previous generations and they will pay for it big time down the road
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