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Brian Meen
Dr. Tracey Marks
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Comments by "Brian Meen" (@brianmeen2158) on "Dr. Tracey Marks" channel.
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I’m the same way. I have a little anxiety and may be on the spectrum but I prefer solitude. Simply put I find people to be much too needy, emotional and self absorbed .. I just find most people to be exhausting so I learned to enjoy the quiet and solitude
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I can identify with a lot of this. I’m 39 and I started ghosting people about a decade ago. I just find people to be a hassle yet I also recognize we all need some degree of quality social time . I don’t really crave intimacy though but yet I realize it’s quite strange to live my life like this. I run into old friends and I honestly don’t even know what to say to them at this point . That makes it a bit strange so I end it quickly and the cycle repeats itself . I really didn’t think my life would go like this but at the same time csnt picture anything differently due to the way my brain is wired
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One thing that helps almost immediately is exercise and getting out into nature. Oh and put that smart phone down and limit your time online
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It gets even weirder when that social desire(and ability to enjoy social interactions) you once had dies away completely and you are left a hollowed out shell of a human being.
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That’s my key problem! I have good social skills and don’t over analyze but I still just rarely get much out of socializing with others. I’d honestly say about 90% of conversations straight up bore me and they are always draining to some extent so I mostly stay away at this point. Plus, most people are pretty needy and self absorbed so
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Yep I required a set daily routine to feel decent as well. I really do not like it as it doesn’t allow me to develop much outside of My structured life. Plus, the older I get the smaller my social battery gets and small talk gets harder . Not good
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Yeah with dysthymia, you pretty Much just get through the day for the most part. You occasionally will have a good day but the next day you are right back to the darkness
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@snu3877 you cut off all family? That’s not good or healthy but I guess it depends on reasons
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Yep I was not bothered at all by the social restrictions during Covid lol. I loved the solitude
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@aaronmicalowe “biggest source of stress for me is still people trying to keep me company” Bingo! This is why I started cutting friends and family off awhile back .. I can get along with most people and have good social skills but I simply find most people to be too wanting if my attention or friendship. If I go out with a friend one night I don’t need to see or talk to them for many days afterward yet they seem to be the opposite - they start to call more often or god forbid stop by my house unannounced .. or they constantly invite me places and even after I politely decline they still try to talk me into it. All of this is stressful to me and the older I get the less tolerance I have for it. I find people just do not understand my lack of social desire. I’m perfectly fine with hanging out one night and playing board games or a sport of some type but I have no desire to do it on a regular basis. Very few people understand this so they end up ignoring my social boundaries which stresses me out so I cut them off .
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@scratchoriginalsdh people can be numbingly shallow or self absorbed. I’m always struck at how some are so stuck on them them Them. They can talk to you for an hour straight about the most meaningless details of their life. I stay far away from them lol
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I find most people to be nice and friendly and I actually struggle mostly with trying to “maintain” them Because I find most people want and demand much more social time with me than I want from them. If I’m a friend with someone and I hang out with them on a Friday night then I do not need(or want) to see or talk to them for many days or even weeks. A little bit of social time lasts me for a very long time and any more than that and I feel drained and irritated. Most of my friends want to hang out a few times a week and do a lot of talking on the phone or other types of messaging. I just can’t do that and I’m not going to try and force myself to anymore at this point.
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@keshab1476 “instead of surface level ones, which often leave me feeling disconnected or annoyed” I feel the same. I just cannot do the “small talk” thing anymore. I have good social skills and can talk to anyone but I find 90% of conversations are very surface level stuff .. it’s just mindless crap about the weather or what someone did that day at work. I just cannot do that anymore but realize this will prevent relationships so that’s a hard thing to fix. I don’t think it can be fixed
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That sounds more like schizoid . They don’t get lonely in isolation
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@palestar828 so then go talk to people? I don’t understand your problem - you live in the deep woods and get excited to go into town so just do that more often? Work on getting a car and just socialize more . You act like you are in a prison cell - you need to tell us what carrier is preventing you from socializing more often
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@dimaknopf yeah and what’s worse is if you turn 30 or so and are introverted and tend to prefer solitude it’s extremely difficult to meet new like minded people. Even harder yet if you are childless and don’t like to go to bars or drink etc etc
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@catherinewylie6959 yeah I’ve had family members throw out the “lazy” accusations and yeah it does not really help anything and it actually makes me want to stay away from them .
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@Ky_Mma yeah I get the vibe that some people in This comment section are neurotic misanthropic types. The folks that make statements like “everyone is evil!” Or “everyone is mean!” Most likely have mental issues of their own.
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@@user-pi3fc1qt1l “IQ around 200” Sure ya do 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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@yeayeayeah933 that’s possible as I very rarely if ever feel lonely. I’m usually going out of My way to avoid people
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I identify with most of that aside from the part where I judge myself and if I’m good enough for people I meet.. I’m in my late 30s and I have always enjoyed solitude and the biggest thing I’ve realized is - people are very draining! I find most to be too needy and demanding and self absorbed . It’s extremely difficult finding people you really mesh well with. I’ve grown apart from old friends and it’s honestly strange running into them These days . I have nothing in common with them Anymore - the only thing we have to talk about is our past
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@undrtkr1000 all of that is fine except for wanting death. St least see a doctor and get on depression medication
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@marc2638 yep! I remember going for walks with my dog during quarantine - it was great. Do quiet outside and it was almost euphoric . Plus the lack of social invitations and obligations also made it better . Just very simple living
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@jennpiach yep, I’ve stopped talking to almost all of my friends as they only talked about drama or gossip. I just cannot do that anymore lol
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@themobilemage2137 but he’s right. There are plenty of nice people out there.. besides, people aren’t evil like to make them out to be- every single one of us is very flawed and have very good traits and some not so good ones. I highly doubt everyone you’ve met over the years has been mean or evil - you are probably only hyper focusing on the bad
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