Youtube comments of Pat I (@PatI-zg9gm).
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The “nagging/difficult” wife was not a thing, until the last three decades. Men started to “allow” themselves to be treated poorly. Nagging, complaining, critiquing, and arguing only occur because most men do not make it clear, from the outset, that they won’t be tolerated, period. If women want to be difficult, and they show this quite early, they can be single. Relationships are “conditional”, and the conditions are men not being assholes, and a woman not being a bitch.
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Anyone can accuse another of “bad communication”, but when you ask them what that really means, they can’t do it. “Good” communication is not subjective. It is simply direct, clear, and honest, active listening. That is it. Anything outside of it is deflection, distraction, passive aggressive, false assumptions, and attempts to draw you into a silly argument. You illustrated the problems with how women view communication. They want men to communicate like “them”, but we know that is a recipe for disaster.
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Women have not accepted that they need to be proactive, and I don’t mean on dating apps. They need to “approach”. One of the big fallacies is that men had to approach because it was tradition, it was chivalrous. The truth is, women hate rejection, so that is why they wait for men to make the first move. For men, and women, really serious about relationships, they need to stop being lazy, complacent and “scared”, and say “Hello” in public, to someone who catches their eye.
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Men have tolerated bad behavior, in marriages, for decades. Nothing, no amount of money or even our children, are worth staying with horrid women..If any of the following arise, throw her out: nagging, complaining, disrespect, infidelity, compliance for intimacy, meddlesome friends or relatives, financial irresponsibility,etc. That garbage stops when we maintain zero tolerance. Women should not accept awful behavior from men, as well.
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@TradBarbie It is all part of an agenda, that has been building since the 70’s. Feminism was the conduit. Sexual liberation promoted promiscuity, the faith based lifestyle was attacked, and fathers started to get booted out of their homes. It always goes back to money, and getting women out of the home, and into the work place, doubled the tax base. Welfare programs, which we thought were in place to provide temporary relief, became long term lifestyles. Big business starts pandering to its biggest customers( women), and entertainment, media, the judicial system, and educational institutions follow suit. The nuclear family has to return, led by virtue and principles, not materialism. It may sound corny, but this is my passion.
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Fracturing the family was a planned agenda. It started with the attack on faith, which guided families for generations, and was patriarchal. They had to get the fathers out of the home, so they went after “women”, by corrupting them with degeneracy ( birth control- abortion), convincing them to go to work, and making them resent men and loathe children. Sprinkle in media propaganda, and self serving social nets( divorce settlements, child support, and welfare), and you have the current state.
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@DarkSeresutia Staring at the wall for more than two minutes will not provide the stimuli that we seek when we look to escape. I fail to see how any of this validates gaming, or any vacuous time killer, as beneficial, to self, relationship, or society. As we age, we are supposed to grow out of such frivolity. It is why we don’t watch as much television as we age, we stop watching cartoons, we focus on real relationships, not fake ones that offer no genuine engagement. We should have higher expectations of adults than to fry their brains on social media, reality tv, porn, or video games. What are we escaping “from” exactly?
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The whole notion of emotional availability is ridiculous. Our emotions belong to “us”, and as men, it is vital that we control them, be they anger, lust, fear, anxiety, euphoria, etc. If we can not manage those, and countless others properly, our lives go off the track. We are able to be the rock that their emotional waves crash again. Men need to be available to their women’s emotions. They really can’t help us with ours. and that is Ok. We manage on our own.
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There are legitimate reasons for divorce/ infidelity, actual abuse, severe neglect. But “combined”, they represent a small percentage. That leaves the vast majority in the “frivolous” category. It is not only reprehensible to destroy the family in a reckless way, it isn’t even bright if remarriage is the goal. The same, or similar, conflicts, spats,and peccadillos will be present for the next guy, and the third guy, on and on…
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You bring up valid points. There is no comparison to a woman losing her husband in a tragic manner, and an out of wedlock birth where a stable father never existed. There are still challenges, you would agree, for any man willing to commit to a widow. Depending on the age of the children, it is a touchy dynamic for any man to step in to a position, once occupied by a man the children miss and admired. In addition, he may be battling the “memory” of that man, which would understandably loom in the mother’s mind, and heart. I do agree that distinctions need to be made when it comes to the “path” to single motherhood, or single fatherhood. But there are going to be increased obstacles, regardless, especially if the children are very young, and the prospective partners are childless.
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@Youaretheactionsofgod There are a ton of people who refuse to rise out of that “adversity”. Since you did, that is an example of resolve. The antithesis is those that don’t. As such, we have a comparison between tough and soft. If the term masculinity has no defined shape or look, replace it with integrity, moral strength, resolve. loyalty, leadership qualities, genuine. mentally tough… all elements we encourage in men, and all that have been lacking in the last few decades. I, myself, was lacking in every one of those areas. My life rebounded when I embraced them again. It is not coincidental.
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@JoePellegrino007 The trans nonsense is merely one form of societal b.s. You can throw around “phobic” labels, but I am immune to it. You have no clue of my “life experience”, but I don’t need to be a part of a “community” to state truths. By the way, by community, what do you mean? One of the main elements of a carefully orchestrated agenda was to separate people, encourage minority groups( any one that is not a straight white male) to commune, strictly based on race, gender, or orientation. This idea that we are supposed to blindly support others, on grounds other than character, is absurd. I will add that gays and lesbians did not ask to be grouped with trans, non binary, etc. If a man wants to live as a woman, he can do that. But he is a man. He will never be a woman, by any metric. That is what I mean by truth, and I am beholden to that, not agendas, not coddling, and not hurt feelings.
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@jonathanwalker4613 I am not sure how a proboscis is relevant to this issue. I find these demands for “evidence” to be laughable. Common sense tells us that introducing others into a relationship will create friction, jealousy, and resentment. It is unavoidable, and there are no “advanced” minds that rise above it. If you are not bothered by someone plowing your wife, how much do you “really” care about her? This doesn’t even factor in the various risks/ dangers involved with including a third party in a relationship, let alone several. This “arrangement” is primarily suggested by a woman who wants to cheat on her man, and uses it as a loophole. Since women have little trouble getting sex, it is a win for her, and she can also scout prospects for a new relationship. Her cuckold, of course, agrees to it because he has no backbone, but quickly realizes his sexual menu is not as large. Do you want me to keep explaining to you how this is all nonsense?
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@jerometruitt2731 Fair point, but someone did. What would possess him to meet with that woman in the first place? I highly doubt she represented herself any better, online, than she did in person. I think the “manosphere” started with the intent to get men to improve, to get healthier, more competent, and ultimately be good leaders. But along the way, it has become as divisive as feminism ever was. Here is my take. We have been blasting women for terrible mate selection( rightfully so) for the past three decades. But we rarely point the scrutiny of that metric at “ourselves”. Men have also allowed their desperation, need to please, and most importantly “lust”, cloud their reason, and corrupt their judgement regarding who they pursue. Based on that video, should that guy have even “agreed” to meet her?
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These women are especially insufferable, but this does reflect one of the major societal problems. The single mother craze really kicked in during the 90’s, and those eggs have all hatched. We now have “generations” of fatherless households, and the results are clear, and awful. Promiscuous women, effeminate men, drug issues, crime spikes, compulsions for porn and video games, on and on. The nuclear family has to return, or this culture will continue to plummet.
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@johnmansour7711 Mid to late 20’s. That period, as a whole, was a dark time. I was a complete degenerate. It is always best to be brutally honest, and that is the stark truth. The truth is Chad is a dirtbag. He only cares about himself, is completely nihilistic, and ignores the damage he does. A lot of the women I cavorted with had boyfriends and husbands. What was going on in my mind to think that was proper? Even though I coerced no one, that doesn’t change the fact that I manipulated situations for my own primal satisfaction. Just because a woman says she wants something doesn’t mean men should comply, especially when they are not stable. I woke up one morning, in a different bed( I convinced myself that spending some nights added a deeper level to my antics), and felt like the piece of shit I was. I stopped, but my mind was a mess, and I had wasted years of my life carousing. Those were years that needed to be spent devoted to my career, and I pissed it away to be a scumbag, and mess up relationships. I don’t want to come off as one of those annoying “I used to do this, don’t do it” people, but I would certainly advise against degeneracy, cheating, or being a party to cheating. We certainly shouldn’t be idolizing Chad, like he is some avenging angel for all the men mistreated by women. All Chad is doing is spoiling women, and he doesn’t give a shit about the plight of men. Now, I do.
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@whereismymind2795 I have not chosen well, and that is on me. Whatever adversity someone else brings to our life, we invited it. It is our responsibility, because we did not vet properly. Our selection process was compromised, because we were weak, desperate, lustful, or lacking in conviction. A promiscuous woman didn’t go down that path “after” marriage, any more than a drugged out/ unemployed dude changes overnight. We have to be completely honest in life, and it starts with admitting our own faults, and recognizing our own b.s.
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This issue is swimming in a sea of bad decisions. Men should not be engaging with single mothers, at all, not even sexually. Women have children with obvious losers, or kick out good men, for trivial reasons. To compound that, these mothers insist on “dating”, as if the problems they had with their previous relationships will just disappear if they “pick” another guy. They should “not” be dating. They made their decisions, and now, they should focus on being good mothers. That means, until the child is out of the house. Sorry if that seems like a long time, but they had their chance for a relationship, and they threw it away. Don’t even get me started on women who let random men, in and out of homes, where children reside.
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@barbara-anndonatelliperry My condolences. It just makes sense that a life shared, not just with our children, but with a spouse, is fuller and richer. Are there some sacrifices with it? Of course, there are tradeoffs regardless of your lifestyle choice. But it is unrealistic to think that single people are going to be able to maintain these long term friendships, as adults will relocate, get married, have children, etc. If you have five women, who have been friends for years, and four of them get married and have children, where does that leave the fifth? Is she now the eccentric aunt? The dynamics will shift, and she will feel the imbalance of their lives, and hers. This isn’t just a reality for women. Men also “benefit” from marriage. Our children will occupy us when they are young, as they should, but it will not be their onus to address our adult loneliness.
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@barbara-anndonatelliperry I appreciate the exchange, and I am not saying there are not exceptions. There are likely many, I just fight back at what I see as an agenda( not that you represent it) to keep people single, to divide the genders, and worse, convince people to avoid marriage and children. What if the majority of the population, even half, just decided to remain single, and likely childless? For hundreds of years, this country thrived on fully formed families. It was a template that didn’t need to be fixed. I simply do not agree that a good life is not better when you are sharing it with someone. I also am dubious when I hear that people are single “by choice”. When that is said, there never seems to be an explanation as to “how” they live as a single.
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The appeal of women ,for men, is as wives/ mothers. But that requires femininity. There are traits that are usually constant: sweet, humble, soft spoken, generally pleasant. If they don’t present that, what are we getting? These women are obnoxious, loud, lewd, and annoying. It doesn’t even make them worth pursuing, even on a casual level.
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No agenda, no matter how well financed, makes adults do anything they don’t want to do. Self absorbed people will always focus on themselves, and lazy people will always accept handouts. They could reject that, but they don’t. Women stopped listening to, and respecting, men. We, as men, bear a lot of blame, because they can only behave in the ways that we allow. Nagging, complaining, critique, arguing, second guessing, and disrespect only exist because we didn’t shut it down from the outset.
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Do not underestimate the manipulative nature of “the one”, “soulmate”, “my person”, etc. These were introduced, with the soul purpose of keeping women “single”, and perpetually “searching”. Finding a mate is no more complex than meeting someone, getting to know each other, sharing a common mindset and value system, and becoming a couple. That is it, it is no more complicated, or ethereal, than that.
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I have concluded that the following women should not be mothers: feminists, materialists, the promiscuous, careerists, sex workers, the self absorbed, abortionists, leftists, etc. We should no longer try and convince these women to have children. They are not invested in it, and the last thing we need are more children raised in a half assed manner, or have their care outsourced. Parenthood, within the nuclear family dynamic, can belong to the men and women who devote to it.
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I agree that the internet provided a global portal for dysfunction and degeneracy. But the agenda to destroy the nuclear family kicked in well before the 90’s. Faith provided the structure for the family to follow, and it existed “outside” governmental influence. Secularism took hold, with women being encouraged to think that being wives and mothers was no longer fulfilling “enough”. Birth control and abortion were not accidental developments. They flat out urged women to “liberate” themselves, and sacrifice their virtue. The men, the heads of the family, had to go, so divorce culture arose. Children no longer had the proper foundation, the natural balance that a symbiosis between husband and wife fostered. Single mothers, disenfranchised fathers, outsourced childcare, school indoctrination, etc. The way back, and it will take time, is to cycle back to the grounding morality.
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If your theory is valid, that means women will also change. The point is, so what? People will be going through several stages of development over a “50 year” marriage. It is to be expected, or should be, by two adults who understand logic and commitment. I frankly don’t believe that most men or women are good enough actors to pull the wool over anyone’s eyes. The vast majority of shitty men and women gave off a stink from the “outset”. We chose to ignore the warning signs for a variety of reasons: good sex, resources, insecurity, fear of not finding others, etc. There is no way to rate that metric, but I would put it at 75-25, in terms of the percent of people who knowingly made bad decisions in partner selections, as opposed to the “Angel to Devil” conversions after the honeymoon.
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Yes, appreciation, respect. and genuine affection. Arguments, for the most part, are unnecessary, and chip away at the connection, a little at a time. Men need to be respectful, protective, and loyal, and women need to avoid “at all costs” nagging, critiquing, and questioning what he does.
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Cheating ends all relationships. If couples try to “get through” it, the subsequent dynamics will forever be altered. The “cheated” will consciously, or not, remind the cheater of the what occurred. The “cheater” will inorganically try and atone for what they did. It creates an imbalance. For those that say it can be forgiven, they are forgetting what forgiveness entails. It means not bringing it up when the mood strikes, as a weapon in disputes, or to create a power struggle. If couples really want to stay together after cheating, the cheating can not be brought up going forward. If you can not get past it, fine, then seek divorce. But the choices are forgive and move on, or leave and move on.
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@jackieferrarimusic Yeah, I actually did read what you wrote, and my objection is to God’s involvement in who we choose to be with. It is, in fact, a choice. There is no magical moment, our spouse is not going to emerge from the ether with an aura about him. It is simply two people, with serious relationship intent, encountering one another. They have a shared system of values, a mutual attraction, and they devote to each other. It is not, nor has it ever been, more complicated than that. Consider this question please… how does a woman reach her mid 30’s, and beyond, single?
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@jackieferrarimusic I could almost guarantee that God’s plan is not for us to go through life single. There are countless options for wonderful mates, men and women, yet we have trouble finding “one”? Of all the women who complain about being single, how many of them ever had the temerity to approach a man that caught their eye? If a woman is sweet, feminine, respectful, and nurturing, she need only be “cute”, and men will come running. Being single, by a certain point, is a choice. We either prioritize the wrong things, are unappealing to be around, or expect some idealized version of a dream spouse.
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@Aceman52 The home is the priority. The nuclear family, while far from perfect, worked. If mothers are not “tied” to the home, than who is? Society requires strong families, not career chasing women( and most women, like men, have jobs, not careers). Having the “choice”, and making the choice, to be promiscuous has really been a boon to society. I am weary of hearing about “their business”. That is something said by people who take no firm stance on anything. Our choices affects others, and society. Parenting has gone in the toilet in the last several decades. I struggle to find a lot of positives to the revolution, but I see a single mother crisis, fatherless homes, abortions, and the physical/ psychological affects of birth control, “all” correlated to this revolution. Results are what matter, and women pushing off motherhood indefinitely, or outsourcing it to others, are good how?
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