Comments by "" (@modickens1272) on "PsycHacks" channel.

  1. I will sum this phenomenon up in the simplest terms possible. A woman would rather share a ride in a Rolls Royce than have her own Kia. And as long as this is the case, there's going to be a lot of cars not driven.
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  2. They don't apologize because they truly don't believe they did anything wrong and the reason is because they base decisions on feelings and in their mind feeling a certain way is never wrong, even if actions or outcomes based on those feelings are.
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  3. Covert disrespect by women usually is most common in passive aggressive behaviors. The " I forgot's" or " I didn't realize " or gaslighting to make you believe you're making a mountain out of a molehill for a legitimate complaint. In my experience if it's not nipped in the bud ( and sometimes it will be necessary to leave to do that) what will usually occur is the man will start to have a brooding resentment of the woman. And as Freud said about unexpressed emotions never going away and just coming forth in uglier ways, this will usually cause the man to be overt in his reprimands and comments. Believe it or not, this was the womans goal. Because it simultaneously allows her to leverage your " monstrous " temper as an issue, while also getting to play victim. The best solution is to leave. If a woman doesn't respect you, she most likely never will, and if she does, only under duress. And then your implied demand for respect will breed resentment in her, and magnify her passive aggressive behavior. Its basically a circle of dysfunction. Only solution is to leave. When a woman respects you as a person you could be drunk in an alley and though she may pity you, worry, she won't disrespect you. If she doesn't respect you, she'll be ungrateful by the pool in your mansion.
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  4. Indifference makes a person question their value. Once a person questions their value they will try to prove their worth, only if your opinion matters to them. If they have 0 interest, your indifference will be met by their indifference. Not caring or forming emotional attachments is the best way to go. Life is a lesson in letting go. So indifference facilitates this. Most love, infatuation, and obsession is ego based. The easiest way to seduce someone is to create doubt about their worth. They will use you to stop the doubts , however this doesn't mean they love you. It just means their ego needs soothing. The reverse is true as well. If you want to avoid emotional attachments, reduce the ego. This will allow you to not be upset if they don't respond soon, if they don't show gratitude, if they date someone else. Your ego will just shrug it shoulders because it won't take it as a blow to self worth. Just view it as business, limit as best as possible to taking things personally and that includes rejection especially. Your mind will trick you into thinking someone else should love or admire you for who you are. That's ego talking, ignore it to get ahead.
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  5. " A person is only motivated by two things, self interests and fear" -- Napoleon Bonaparte
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  6. I agree I also think it applies to men with women also. Ive noticed in my own life the women's behaviors that annoyed me most was the women I liked, yet if it was some woman I had no feelings for, I not only didn't care if she ever texted, I didn't care if she was mad at me for not texting her. I didn't realize until later I was being hypocritical and applying double standards. Classic example, if some woman I didn't like posted some provocative picture I might roll my eyes and think she was sad. Yet if it was a woman I liked, even if I didn't say anything I'd feel jealousy and also a much more judgmental attitude towards her. And you're right, it will push that person away. Ive noticed this aspect with even friends versus strangers. If for example some random person you barely know buys a new house or car you might think cool, looks great, etc. However often with friends we become judgemental. " how'd you afford it" " you should save for a rainy day" " looks like too much house for me to clean" " I never was into shiny things " its been said but we do hurt the ones we love. It's a difficult but necessary step to overcome on the path to self awareness because nobody wants to be the villain in their own stories.
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  7.  @kevalan1042  how they make others feel is irrelevant to them. It's only how they feel that concerns them.
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  8. I agree this would be the best route to go and as you pointed out its difficult to do when we've been hurt or not felt appreciated or love reciprocated. There's always a sense of hurt when a relationship ends unless we are the ones that wanted it to end and I think that's also a part of the secret to letting go. We also should tell ourselves it should've ended not because of the good times , not because of the loving moments of course, not because of who they were, but rather what they've become. And often for reasons out of our control they have become someone who's changed and that change is someone new internally and someone we are no longer compatible with. I've been hurt, angered even obsessive when someone I loved ended it, even in friendships at times. But with time I learned to say it was for the best because just as the years change so do people. The woman I loved in 2018 no longer exists, just as 2018 doesn't. Yes technically she's still living, looks mostly the same, but 2022 is a different year, and she is not the same as she was in 2018 either. Excellent video. Love is often the answer and forgiveness from afar , yet so hard to do at times. When love is replaced with indifference than the heart is usually healed.
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  9. Dating for women is like eating out, the longer they wait to choose, the more limited options. Yes, they can still land a meal at 3AM but it'll be out of a gas station and not a 5 star restaurant.
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  10.  @anitago  a man doesn't have to if he doesn't want to. He chooses to, and its foolish. He can rent it cheaper and less stress. Any man in this modern society trying to prove his worth to a woman is a fool and deserves to be used.
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  11.  @anitago  fair enough which reemphasizes my point.
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  12. Anne Frank once said " more flowers are given at funerals because regret is stronger than gratitude " I think this is the problem with most interpersonal relationships. The people we often respect or admire often don't appreciate us in the same manner, and there are people who look up to us or value our presence more than we value theirs. Ive often wondered why this is the case, and have not arrived at any reasonable conclusions. It seems any relationship with two people one will always like one more than the other likes or appreciates them. There's an element of power involved. And power takes various forms. A person's power can be beauty, intelligence, money, charm, fame, social skills. And whatever a person admires the most, they will be subjected to being the " fan" to whoever has that quality. Celebrities can love their fans, appreciate them but beyond an ego blow, the fans absence will not be as missed as the celebrities absence. And it seems in all interpersonal dynamics one person is more the fan, and the other is more the celebrity.
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  13. Very true. This also applies to friendships as well. Ive seen myself when one friend does better it increases the feelings of inferiority in the one who has remained stagnant or unchanging so to speak. Over time this breeds envy, resentment and a desire to see the other person fail. This is one of the reasons people read gossip magazines. They like seeing celebrities who seem to have perfect successful lives knocked down a notch because of scandals. Gore Vidal once said " I die a little each time a friend succeeds" and another saying is " people don't mind you doing better, they just don't want you doing better than them" both are sadly all too real.
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  14.  @sarahrobertson634  nobody can say you're not honest.
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  15. Ive rarely rejected women overtly and the reason being is it's not necessary. Just act in a way that let's them dump/reject you. Whether it's being neglectful, offensive humor, bringing up an old flame constantly, acting too needy, etc. There's a million ways to get a woman to reject you to where you never even have to reject at all. The go to classic: ask to borrow money, or claim you lost your job. Trust me, you wont have to learn a skill to reject women. They'll find the exit themselves.
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  16. Manners should be genderless. If a man or woman is coming in behind me, I hold the door. It doesn't imply a helplessness on their part, it implies manners and empathy on my part. if you see someone struggling and can help them, do it. If you're struggling or someone holds the door open, don't feel entitled or let pride obstruct it, just be grateful and thank them. Manners: it's not a Male or female, young or old thing, it's a people thing, practice it and it'll take you further than intelligence, hard work, or looks ever will. Why? Because it's much more rare.
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  17. Its the equivalent of a stripper in a club chatting with you and then asking if you want a lap dance. If you say no, she'll usually tell you she can't waste anymore time chatting and trawl for a new mark. Men need to get it through their thick heads, women are not about love and romance. They are about money and getting resources. They view men as props on their movie set. If you're thirsty do you care what type of cup the water is in? No, women view men and money the same way. As far as kids, they're an extension of narcissism and ego and also another way to secure income, via the father or government subsidies.
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  18. Haha I could write a book on the horrible dating profiles Ive seen. " not into games" " not into drama" " hate liars" " my kids come first " most of the profiles just cause eye rolls because they all are from the same script. And most often scream red flags. I think the biggest problem is often the profiles come across as defensive and nagging right out of the gate. Just combative. Plus there's usually the issue of them having the attention span of a gnat. And nowadays women primarily use Instagram as a dating app. I call " dating app for those in denial about online dating " so if she has Facebook, Instagram and dating apps rest assured she's getting countless messages. She in theory doesn't even have to write a profile. Just post a few pics and the " good morning beautiful " messages will start hitting her inbox. The problem is that too many choices and options are not good for mental health in my opinion because it causes indecisiveness long term.
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  19. Totally agree with this. Ive known guys that live in the gym and want to act like they're tough yet some C grade woman at home bosses them around and if she initiates a breakup, they beg and plead. The gym is often an external overcompensation for internal weakness of some kind. Charles Manson shows dominance is psychological. He was 5'2", skinny, didn't go to the gym for " gainz" yet had plenty of women and much bigger men doing his bidding. Jim Jones another example of psychological dominance. Women though, if also dominant will tend to avoid such a man. Her gaslighting tactics and guilt trips won't work on him, which work on most men. So she'll seek prey in greener pastures so to speak. And with such women I have learned, that when arguing with them the best course to take isn't to use logic, reason, or defend yourself. These will all be ignored by the dominant woman and manipulated into gaslighting. The best course is to insult her ego in some way, bruise her pride, cleverly if possible. She'll quit speaking, but she'll respect you, albeit from afar.
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  20. Absolutely. It'd be like saying " a study discovered most men suffering from depression have large penises " you'd see a bottle of prozac or zoloft on every night stand, or casually saying they've been depressed while at the bar or club.
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  21. Evil can exist with one person in a room. But evil cannot thrive without a captive audience that denies reality. Evil's biggest assest is confirmation bias, and obedience and its greatest adversary is an open mind and a questioning mind, and moral standards .
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  22.  @lillyCfields  oh absolutely Lily. They often do this frequently to other female friends and acquaintances. Underhanded comments, passive aggressive excuses, etc. I use to have a few female friends but eventually lost all of them because I'd call them out on their BS/hypocrisy etc. and needless to say they quit speaking. Ive had more peace since then. They mainly just use you as an emotional dumping ground to vent to. And lord help you if something good happens in your life. A lot of fake " congrats" and secret sneers of envy. Overall, just lousy one sided " friends "
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  23. Just don't believe everything you see on Instagram. Envy is an issue but the bigger issue in my opinion, is the trend of trying to invoke envy. Those people showing off, don't need to be envied, they need pity because no matter what it is they have or done it still is evidently leaving them empty inside if they have to have the public validate it. To be human is to have problems no matter how wealthy or attractive or skilled. Nobody you envy is without problems. Just remember that. No matter what they display.
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  24.  @elchucapablas  because a womans emotions are always fluctuating its possible to gain it back but only momentarily. Meaning it's not true respect as a person, but rather respect based on temporary circumstances that you will eventually lose should the circumstances change. In other words it's not respect for you as a person, but rather respect for the current moment/circumstances
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  25.  @Eans_urban_jungle  I understand. And ironically those are usually the most successful relationships in my opinion. When a man is in a relationship with a woman he's infatuated with it usually turns the woman off and she sees herself as above him. When a womans in a relationship with a man shes infatuated with it keeps her in a submissive role and more feminine. In either case someone won't feel as passionate but when it's the woman that isn't passionate about the man it rarely will last.
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  26. What Ive observed in my experience, is even if a woman went through an awkward phase or felt ugly or was not as attractive at one point in her life, once she becomes attractive, the humbleness often goes. Its like a guy with no experience once he visits a brothel he usually comes out strutting. A woman who's not use to getting attention, once she becomes attractive usually becomes addicted to the new attention and often doesn't know how to handle it strategically for a promising relationship. Similar to giving a poor child 10 new toys at once.
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  27. Many women on apps are not actually wanting to date except for the occasional food call if bored. Technology has made it to where she doesn't have to show up in person to get what she craves which is attention. She can be a 4 wearing sweatpants, hair in curlers, eating ice cream, post some filtered pics and she'll get men of all calibers sending heart eyes and flame emojis. Does this make her less lonely? No, does this give her a relationship? No but it does give her the sense she's all that. The ego confidence boost. A woman that's C grade can get a 10 man to sleep with her, he may not want a relationship but while shes sleeping with him she feels beautiful. She'll carry this attitude and false sense of confidence with her because even though realistically she'd be a better fit for an average man, because she got James bond to sleep with her on a slow night she will wrongly conflate that as her long term value. She only screens guys she's not interested in or she feels she's settling for. Rest assured she's not screening Elvis circa 1968 when he wants to meet up. She's not asking about his 401k or opinions on blended families, and 5 year plans, she's just shaving her legs, getting waxed and hoping he's pleased with her.
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  28. Excellent video and logical points. It all boils down to standards and self respect. There's a saying " apologize when you're wrong, not when you tell the truth." I've lost friends because I wasn't always tactful, and had no problem apologizing when my behavior conflicted with my own standards. However, there are people who gaslight and when called on their behavior, or given a proper tongue lashing will play victim, say you hurt them, demand an apology, etc. Those don't get an apology. Why? Because respecting myself and telling the truth doesn't conflict with my morals or standards.
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  29. What Ive observed, based on my own experiences is a combination of things. I actually went to a female therapist once and when she asked the purpose of my visit I told her " Ive been told I'm crazy and if so, I want it in writing" I noticed after the once a week visits for two months that there were drawbacks and also insights into it. I would observe her and ask her questions occasionally and most times she would either try to avoid answering or give vague answers at best. At any rate we became intimate at some point outside the office and when I moved we remained friends occasionally writing, I learned 5 years after my encounter with her she was murdered by her only son. The drawbacks I observed was its almost impossible for either patient or doctor to remain objective. The doctor can often point out problems but only the patient can truly fix them. I also think it can lead to self absorption on the patients part, talking so much about themselves can cause them to neglect others in their orbit, and self fixation long term is never good in my opinion. The insights I came away with was aspects of my personality that was always there but I never fully saw them. Such as antisocial tendencies, paranoia, contempt for authority etc. We often tend to think our behavior or outlook is rational but sometimes it takes an outside observer to point out things we can't or don't want to see about ourselves. So therapy was good for that. I asked for tests to be administered such as IQ and personality tests to get insight into myself. I learned things from it, and though some may argue she was unethical I didn't see it that way. I think the only time it would be unethical is if the patient was unable to make their own decisions due to mental illness. This was not my case. I think men avoid therapy because it's a vulnerability, and also men tend to want to solve problems on their own. Also there is an aspect in society that people don't care about the problems of others. What's that saying " don't tell people your problems, 80% don't care and 20% are glad you're having them" women in general don't care due to evolutionary reasons. Briffaults law explains this. And most men in society are competitive with other men so subconsciously they're not going to be too interested in helping someone who is a competitor for resources and mating options. Another aspect rarely brought up is the " don't you have friends that can listen?" So just by paying a stranger they often feel like a loser in the eyes of society, the same as getting an escort. The stigma of paying to have emotional needs or physical needs gratified lingers even if on a subconscious level with society.
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  30.  @alexeysamokhin9629  duty and responsibility are aligned with either fear of being rejected by others or the self interest of being praised and approved of. Start thinking deeper on things instead of superficially. Napoleon put it in simple terms but even then you can't grasp it.
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  31. Excellent points. People usually don't change their opinions about someone barring something shocking or drastic, and also people in general would rather hear negative stuff about a person than positive if coming from a neutral position. People enjoy feeling superior and gossip momentarily allows that. My attitude ( and it's not easy to develop because we all can be hurt or angered by people's opinions) unless you're paying me, or sleeping with me your opinion of me is irrelevant. It's not easy to develop this because we want to operate cohesively within society, but sometimes we have to ignore emotions and apply logic. Always ask yourself " does this persons negative opinion of me have repercussions beyond hurt pride and bruised ego or reputation?" If the answer is no, and usually it is, then just say who cares. 50 years, or most likely less, we'll all be dead so other people's gossip is a blip on eternity.
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  32. I believe a person should always ask themselves why they do certain attention seeking things ( desire for fame, adoration) but not just ask, they must answer sincerely. That's where the problem lies, because lying to oneself causes most of the problems. If they say " so people will want to be like me, or tell me how great I am" they'll realize it's a futile goal. Fame should be a byproduct not a goal in itself. I'm 43 and I've noticed that no matter intelligence or talent or looks, ones recognition excluding a few exceptions slowly evaporates. This is why top music sellers from 10 years ago are often reduced to playing casinos in middle America even if their voice is still as good. Getting older is a slow process in invisibility and the key to having everything you want in life is to not want much. A soft bed, good physical health and emotional well being, enough to eat, an occasional dirty joke, a good book, that's good enough. And truth be known, most people just aren't worth impressing even if possible. And impressing people is fleeting anyhow. How many people in divorce court at one time were really impressed by each other? That says all you need to know about impressing people or their approval. It's all momentary
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  33.  @sammyb1651  That's a good point and you are correct. They will go out of their way to celebrate a lackluster female friends birthday party, yet forget the mans birthday all together. As an example. If another woman criticizes them, they'll do things to appease her, yet if a man does he's dismissed. However its paradoxical. Women on a deeper level hate other women, yet they outwardly exhibit much more care to each other in their common dismissiveness of men in general.
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  34. After the new wears off, most romantic relationships though started from lust and sexual desire , end up being primarily financial in their motive to continue. With inflation on the rise most folks are probably together to slay bills easier. And are getting their sexual needs met through porn, occasional liaisons, and alone time in the shower. It's not entirely due to technology, it's also a case of familiarity breeding contempt. You can love pizza but not want to eat it every day. I do agree that there is no romantic relationship without sex, and that's why I believe most modern long term relationships are not romantic in nature, but rather the equivalent of two roommates/friends with the common goal of avoiding eviction. And when they do the horizontal two step they're usually imagining someone else.
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  35. I understand the concept , but I think it's more complicated. The chess board is a good example, however there's less mastery wisdom required for many things that still would go unrecognized. A person may not know how to compose a piano solo but can audibly tell if it sounds good to the ear. A person may not be able to paint, yet still know they find something beautiful. Yet in these examples the musician and painter still may go unrecognized. Why? In my opinion, envy and jealousy play a role as you alluded, but also because self absorption is so rampant nowadays that society at large views it as a burden to compliment or recognize another person's achievements/abilities, because it takes away from self preoccupation. Life has become one big class reunion so to speak. " oh you climbed Mt. Everest on one leg? So cool! Now let me show you pictures of my dog skippy and son Kermit" essentially, even when recognition is given, its usually on a superficial level. Not that they don't recognize your ability, nor are they always envious. It's far sadder: indifference, if it's not about them, they just don't really care.
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  36.  @jovani3  right, it's like that old joke headline " male suicide rate is on the rise: how it affects women more "
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  37.  @alexeysamokhin9629  let me try this one last time. Even when people help others, self interest is a motive. To feel good about themselves or to be recognized. To think otherwise is naive.
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  38. I'd say your female " friend" said more than just you were interested. My guess, the friend got jealous and told the other woman either something really filthy contributed to you, or she told the woman you were tired of her flirting and it needs to stop. Because she didn't want someone else potentially getting your attention/ time
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  39. The only time people want the truth is if its positive. In my experience, the truths that conflict with a person's desires or self image, will be met with staunch resentment and often, total avoidance of the person who told the truth. You want to see a young child angry and mad at you tell them Santa claus doesn't exist. Adults are no different , only the subject matter has changed. People are way too feelings based and objective analysis is gone in regards to the truth. Any unpleasant truth will almost with certainty be viewed as a personal attack on them. You tell someone that perhaps ted bundy or Charles Manson might not be the best boyfriend material and if she's in love, she'll quit speaking to you. Tell someone it probably wasn't wise to buy a house they can't afford and you'll be met with the " you're just jealous ". Why do you think the first two stages of the 5 stages of grief are denial and anger? Because first they don't want to believe it's true and second, the truth causes anger because it's not a good kind of truth. Its painful. So any truth that causes grief will be met with denial and anger and rest assured that anger will also be towards the messenger.
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  40. Excellent analogy. I tend to view it similarly. More like a movie, we decided on our characters, sometimes we play the villain sometimes the hero, sometimes the killer, sometimes the victim, but no matter the role, we are all apart of the film, and whether or not the film is worth seeing, or playing in, is subjective . It is up to each viewer, and participant to decide that.
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  41. I find that self respect being prioritized above the other two does lead to isolation. I am considered friendly when interacting with others briefly but in general I have no long term friends. The reason being is self respect/standards mostly. I had a former friend tell me once " you're destined for loneliness with your attitude, I'd rather have friends than be right" the thing is, if you are someone with specific standards as to what you will or will not tolerate from people it is of utmost importance to cultivate being happy alone with your own company, because it will eventually occur. Accountability is not something most people want to be confronted with long term unless they too have standards towards themselves. I don't have really any friends but few people actually do. Most have acquaintances, coworkers, extended family etc. And these are usually superficial relationships at best. Friendships mean a lot more when younger. As I am in middle age now, I would rather read books on a Saturday night than hear a bunch of chatter. In reflection of my life I have concluded the less people one has in your life, the fewer problems and more peace you have. Nothing beats a genuine bond and connection with someone, but except in rare instances does anyone have it. What we believe we perceive and most people believe they mean more to others than they actually do.
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  42. The problem is men take women and love way too seriously. They strive, work long hours, fight other men, go in debt for big houses and cars etc. Because their ego wants a wife and kids in most cases. A mans ego is his own worst enemy. If you view women as prostitutes, you'll become indifferent to their behavior and certainty won't jump through hoops to placate it, nor will you get hung up on if she loves you, if she leaves etc. I learned this in my 20s. Yes, you may still have emotions, but part of being an adult is not reacting to them. I'm 44, never married, no kids and most of my relationships have been drama free. Even the ones that ended usually ended amicably. Why? Because I never took them seriously. And had 0 desire to have kids so there was no bargaining chip there for her. Once again, reduce ego and expectations through practice and life is easier.
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  43. Ive always said anyone who claims to love unconditionally is either lying or has no standards and neither premises are good. This doesn't just include romantic relationships, this includes family, friends etc. Standards have to come before anything else. Show me a parent who loves their kid no matter how evil they are and you'll see a parent with no standards which probably contributed to the child's behavior. Theres no honor in unconditional love nor should there be. Gloating over a lack of standards is nothing to be proud of.
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  44. I believe women in general know this so they've learned to lie about it. Unless she's honest and admits to it, you'll rarely if ever get the truth if asking such question. In my experience I assume they've all been around, so I rarely if ever have fallen in love , even in a relationship. Even if they have high physical desire for me sleeping together on the 1st or 2nd date, that means nothing really because her moods change so much. That woman doing all those nasty things with you on Saturday night, might hate your guts Wednesday and ghost you. In the words of the late Sam Kinison on relationships: " lies keep you together " trust me, you don't ever want a woman to be completely honest because if they were thered be a lot of disappointment and disillusionment.
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  45. Or as Gary Gilmore said before execution by firing squad " let's do it" the ultimate eat the frog moment. Hesitation often makes the inevitable harder. Risk aversion is an innate part of survival, but to live and progress , risk and life's sometimes unpleasant circumstances cannot be avoided. The " what if's" usually cause more stress than the actual action.
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  46.  @sammyb1651  that's true. Its like two sharks in the water. They may get along but its only because they both know they're sharks. They may truly have no care for their female friends, but yet outwardly she'll show it only as a form of unity in her disdain for men.
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  47.  @viditbatta2434  you indirectly or directly insult what she's most vain about. For example if she takes pride in how smart she is, you make a comment implying she's dumb. She takes pride in her looks, you make a comment she's not as pretty as some other woman or as young. The goal is to hurt their most vulnerable area. Now as I mentioned above, she may quit speaking for awhile or permanently, but I promise she'll respect you because she'll not want her ego damaged any further so she'll learn to avoid conflict with you. Even if that means avoiding you period.
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  48. I think the amnesiac aspect also applies to bad relationships. People forget the bad aspects of the person and only remember the good , when craving some emotional void filled by the person. Hence the reason people will go back to toxic exes. Their vice is that particular person so to speak.
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  49.  @wyleecoyotee4252  not always. Sometimes they will continue to fight for approval. It depends on their attachment style and parental dynamics growing up.
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  50. ​ @annesmith9181  boyfriends have no financial obligations to their girlfriends either. AKA buy your own dinner and drinks
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  51. It's true, as the saying goes " expectations are the root of all suffering "
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  52.  @derrick2181  Sarah is an example of a broke clock being right twice a day. Occasionally she has validity to her points, but her main debate attributes are gaslighting, personal anecdotes that tend to be exceptions versus the rule, and emotionally driven " reasoning."
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  53. You know that's very true. I think often this why in relationships or friendships that have faded people's memories of the relationship can be completely opposite in sentiments. One person may remember the kind acts, the other may only remember a rude comment or behavior that ended it. Each took something different. I think what causes a person to takeaway certain things is based on what they felt they needed to take. A persons self image, or dreams, or desires all factor into what they decide is important. A cynic may takeaway a negative comment or behavior to justify their worldview, a dreamer may remember a positive act or gesture that helped propel them forward.
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  54.  @punchforpound2808  I think what helps when trying to nip it in the bud is by either using humor or by asking a question that relates to feelings of how the behavior would make her feel if done to her . The voice tone is important to say calmly. And if none of these work, leaving must be considered even if married in my opinion.
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  55. In regards to marriage, mutual commitment is almost impossible when a scenario exists that incentivizes one partner to break it and another to stay due to potential financial loss/gain. It starts off immediately as an imbalance of power in the eyes of the court. Thus the reason its avoided by most sane people with more to lose than the other. If divorce wasn't an option or punishable by prison time, youd see even less of " commitment "
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  56. " You can deny reality, but you cannot deny the consequences from denying reality" -- Ayn Rand
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  57. Absolutely. If a person doesn't have real problems the mind will create some. To be human is to want to overcome challenges. Without challenge the mind stagnates and creates non issues to solve. When it comes to cancer and mortality, people are always more cautious when they have something to lose. For example a person might not skydive if they have a family and believe they have 50 years of life left. Same as a person with 50k in the bank will usually not spend money as impulsively as someone with only 20 dollars. Why? Because he has more to lose. It's the illusion of greater loss that prevents people from taking risks or ignoring trivial matters that prevents true living in most of society. The less you have, the less you have to lose. Whether it's time or money, and with that knowledge there's a perceived greater freedom.
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  58.  @psychacks  that is interesting and fascinating about how most people are running on outdated operating systems from years back in regards to self image. I can see that point, like a person who never felt good enough, still feeling that way years later after having achieved external success. Seems a person's insecurities can follow them their whole life.
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  59. Totally agree! I have always said explaining that the engine is missing from a car, still won't make it run. Knowing the cause of a problem in no way fixes it, though it can. Being someone who enjoys drinking and smoked for 24 years, I can say, in my opinion it is nothing but pure boredom or dissatisfaction that causes most bad habits. And most people that successfully quit something , only do so when they become bored with the habit itself and all the rituals required to maintain it. Or they've found something to replace it with. Its similar to obsessions. Ive rarely known a person with obsessions to end an obsession for a particular thing or person, without replacing it with someone or something else. The stalker for example may stop obsessing over an ex girlfriend only when he's become fixated on a new woman. The drug addict may stop obsessing over how to get his next fix by obsessing over a new exercise program. In my opinion a person never stops being addicted. What changes is what they're addicted to. Because the root cause ( boredom) will always resurface.
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  60.  @janedoe3648  yes but rarely is it mutual. Ones usually more into the other person than the other.
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  61.  @psychacks  I believe that. I think nothing kills sex like a long term relationship. I believe that long term monogamy isn't in natures best interest. Short term perhaps, but long term I think monogamy is disadvantageous to the species in regards to reproductive strategies.
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  62. I agree with all of this. What Ive noticed is most people lack self awareness even when its pointed out. For example a person on social media might make a post of a meme that says " people can't be trusted" or " kick toxic friends to the curb" or " I gave you my all but didn't care" never once considering they've at one time been that someone that was considered toxic, or didn't care about someone who cared about them, etc. Its not that they don't look inward, its just that they're looking at themselves in a filtered manner. In an odd way sometimes sociopathic individuals actually can easier admit their flaws than the general public so long as narcissism isn't high in their personality flaws. The reason I believe this occurs is because they don't have feelings either way in some issues. An emotional indifference. They'll readily tell you how they were late because they were getting high. How they murdered someone for making them mad. Etc. The need to make excuses for our shortcomings comes from worrying what others think and the need to be harder on others equally negative traits is a desire to elevate ourselves above others. If they get a promotion at work they got lucky or they're sleeping with the boss. If we get a promotion it was our hard work, intelligence, and perseverance that did. In short, we're all a bunch of hypocritical, contradictory let downs 😂
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  63. ​ @HelloWorld-cq1sq  they want it all. That's not the point. Its just as the clock runs out on youth, they prioritize the schlub with a 401k and dental plan. Sure, if they had their choice they'd pick a buff werewolf billionaire that is also a rockstar and CEO who likes kittens, but they'll settle for Kenny in sales.
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  64. Technology, credit cards, restaurants/fast food, pornography, social programs have all made relationships more obsolete. However even the ones you see today are usually resource motivated on the womans part. Our grandparents generation weren't more moral or loving, it was simply necessity as you mentioned. Human nature doesn't change, only the times do. However once men no longer have the incentive to provide for a family, society will erode. Men as a whole will not take the risky high paying jobs as much, nor attend colleges or trade schools. There's no point really if you don't have to provide for a family, as men in general are totally fine with sparse furnishings, basic clothes, small dwellings and an older reliable vehicle. The effects of this societal shift will really be seen in 25 to 50 years, perhaps less. When infrastructures began to collapse, fewer homes are built, less airline pilots, oil workers, construction, plumbers, doctors, etc.
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  65.  @nietzschesmuse  exactly. Whenever someone says they " hate drama" or whatever, rest assured its usually because they hate competition. If they hate liars, expect some lies. People in general are hypocritical however realizing that prevents a self aware person from saying " I hate x,y,z" when someone says they hate games, its because they're starting to lose at them. But when they were winning, better believe they played them.
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  66. But it's all about perception. Being better or of great value is subjective to the individual doing the observing. Brad Pitt, Channing Tatum, Johnny Depp, Elvis Presley all had wives file divorce. So no matter your value, looks etc. Its the perception of the other person of you that determines outcome. Not objective value. You can look like a star, millionaire, intelligent and be dumped for Charles Manson. Yes, in the womans mind Manson might be her better option based on current emotional state, and so she'll choose that. However for a man to assume he can logically be a better value in regards to looks and status and come out ahead is often not true. Using logic rarely applies to humans but even less so with love and women. The high value man has more options short term only. When it comes to romance women are pure mercenaries and previous loyalties, shared memories , histories or mutual interests, mean 0 when she's found someone she PERCEIVES as better.
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  67. Great analysis! I agree that revenge/anger can be a great motivator in succeeding at something. There is something though I have noticed. The desire itself " to show them" or " they'll regret" etc. comes with the assumption that they'll care. Sometimes they do, often they don't. For them to regret or be envious etc. requires a certain amount of caring one way or the other. Even those wanting you to fail requires they care. It's the general indifference of people that can cause our revenge force to flounder if that is the only motivator. Like you say, its important to do it for positive reasons. I saw a video once about " no contact " how it motivates others to reach out. But that too requires care on some level by the other person. Revenge as a motivator is similar. I doubt for example J lo will care about if I succeeded in some regard or if I go no contact on her, even if I knew her personally 😂 I will say though people are often silently envious of many things, social media proves this. So certainly revenge success can hurt a lot of people who resent or didn't believe in your success. We all have a desire to prove the doubters wrong to validate our own self worth and esteem.
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  68. One of your best videos. It requires an open mind to implement it in practice. Its necessary though to have what actual love is. I think the biggest detriment to a true loving relationship is ego and insecurities. Lower the one and the other diminishes as well.
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  69. People spend most of their lives indirectly or directly obsessed with the act of reproduction. Think about it. Thats all this relationship, dating, game, marriage is really about with both genders when you peel away the details. But the reality is, most people are not worth duplicating ( and that also includes the reflection in the mirror, for those wanting a " legacy" or lineage) . Don't believe me? Stroll through Walmart sometime and ask yourself if you'd like two more copies of the people you see? As far as the urge of reproduction, its better to pay for it directly, or get the occasional one night stand. Or whack off. Both genders overcomplicate things in my opinion due to ego and the belief they deserve the best. Newsflash: they don't.
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  70. What if it's not sexless because they're cheating with the neighbors?
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  71.  @shaymalchione809  well I think men care for the reasons the Dr. Mentioned in this video. It also indicates the womans mindset. If she's been with a lot of men that could also indicate commitment issues, flighty personality and impulsivity. Traits not known to make for a long term relationship. Men use the past as an indicator because as the saying goes, there's no better indicator of future behavior than past behavior. It's not that women focus on the future more, as much as they focus in a different way. For example if you were with a man who has a job but you realize he's been fired from all of his past jobs within a year, would you not worry about your future financial stability with said man? Men view women's number of partners the same way. We both just prioritize certain traits differently based on gender to gauge whether there's a future or not.
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  72.  @drinkxyz  agreed, its always better to let your opponent think what occurs is their idea
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  73. As the saying goes " rejection leads to obsession " ....but obsession isn't love.
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  74. Its really true. Many spend their life trying to give it meaning when no meaning or purpose is required. As in the Disneyland analogy nobody goes to Disneyland and seeks the meaning of it. We can choose to give it a purpose in our own minds but its not required. I think people often get caught up in the mindset of meaning or purpose due to other people. ie. wanting to be successful or remembered, or look good etc. And most likely these " purposes " or meanings would not exist if they were the only person on earth. Would a person know they're short or fat, for example without the ability to compare themselves with others? They wouldn't. Life meaning is the same in a way. The ego often seeks purpose in order to be recognized by others. If a person only existed alone on earth they probably would be content with shelter, food, perhaps some animals as friends, but the notion of proving or validating their existence would be viewed as unnecessary most likely. They would just be. And that mindset is what we should have whether alone or with a million people.
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  75. That's all very true. I'd probably be defined as a textbook functioning alcoholic. I drink probably 40 pints of beer a week and have drunk heavily off and on for over 20 years now. I've analyzed my behavior and notice that alcohol doesn't make life easier or alter reality more than when sober, it just allows one not to have to deal with an unhappy reality while drinking. Its sorta an emotional procrastination. The attitude of " I'll deal with the issues later, in the meantime I'll drink" mindset. I also think when sober reality is magnified. You realize how boring and mundane life so often is. It's that facet the alcoholic is often trying to escape from. And it does lead to emotional immaturity. Ive often said alcoholics are just big kids that have replaced the baby bottle with a beer bottle still hoping some bottle will soothe them. I recognize all of this yet continue to drink. I'm sure there's other elements at play too. Karl menninger as you know had certain theories in man against himself. At any rate excellent insight as always.
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  76.  @msBbee-oq7im  implying theres any major difference with women and their motives, is at best naive on your part, and at worst gaslighting. Probably the latter since you're female.
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  77.  @joe7665  good action. Never stay where you are not respected
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  78. You do make some valid points. And I agree that what attracts men is typically making them feel needed, that " they alone" can solve your problems. Many a man has been conned, not by the woman but by his own ego of thinking she really cares or that he is special to her. I use to go to strip clubs in my 20s and observe that men would all try to play the rescuer " let me take you away from here"....take her away from what? 24/7 partying, free drinks, and thousands sometimes in tax free cash nightly? What so she can cook for one guy at home on Friday night? Get real! I always tell men just because you have good looks, kind heart, funny doesn't mean those traits will matter to her. I can say a golden retriever is a friendly dog, but since I don't much care about dogs, its friendliness is irrelevant. Same principles apply to dating far too often.
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  79. Marriage makes sense for many women because from a logical standpoint they tend to benefit, even if it ends in divorce, especially if it ends in divorce. From a logical standpoint there is no reason a man should want marriage, they often only do it for 1 of 2 reasons in my opinion. Codependency, or insecurity ( a desire to possess legally) in both cases they think its love, it's not. The greatest enemy of a man is his ego. Women play on his ego through positive reinforcement ( manipulation) ie. " you're a real man" or negative reinforcement ( reverse psychology manipulation) " I hate weak men who won't step up to the plate and commit" if the man is not careful he will fall into this trap with his ego wanting to be pleased and admired by said woman. Once this occurs its game over. Ive never been married, 0 kids and not one regret about it. I never let my ego override logic in most things though there were times it tried. " she loves me for me" a book I'd recommend for any man and there's many I could recommend is " the predatory female " by Lawrence shannon. It is the most matter of fact book Ive ever read about dating/marriage and what encouraged me to minimize my ego when viewing womens behavior and emotions.
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  80. ​ @msBbee-oq7im  if you define a great woman as one such as yourself, then yes I have been blessed to avoid such " greatness"
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  81. Less people is less problems. Also realize that a lot of motivation to chase is ego based. Its the percieved rejection by the other person that implies one is flawed and so to avoid this hit to self esteem and self worth, one may be tempted to prove their value. Reduce ego, and indifference will be second nature. Indifference to both admiration and rejection. Finally, never care more for people than they allow you to care. If they don't care to leave, you shouldn't either.
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  82. It's never the same whether you're the transgressed or transgressor and we all have been both at different times to different people. Either way its just not the same and certainly doesn't improve with time. The only way it might work is if one developed amnesia. Never try to put the toothpaste back into the tube.
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  83.  @WildMidwest1  fair enough, but narcissists often know more about human nature than the general population because they have to in order to manipulate.
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  84.  @Last_one_before_I_go  but you're genuine with your goal. Which is getting rid of them. Don't worry about the means
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  85. Excellent points. I'd also add that some of the cause for this belief system is that more often than not, people think they are the exceptions to the rule. The belief in being special can blur objective self assessment and also in assessing others. ie. " they've cheated on others, but I don't think they'd cheat on me" or, " they're not responding to my messages because they're shy, busy, playing hard to get" In essence, when you see yourself as special you tend to believe others, if not seeing it at the moment, will in time. It blunts reality and creates optimism with no foundation.
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  86.  @MCharlerySmith  thanks, yes she was murdered stabbed to death, put in the trunk of her car as the son and his girlfriend drove around for 2 days and dumped her in a field when she started to stink up the car. I thought something might be wrong since I hadn't heard from her in 6 months and so I googled her. That's how I found out. She lived in another country I was no longer living in at the time. It was somewhat surreal learning that. It also made me realize the dangers of letting emotions cloud judgment. She had mentioned to me prior how her son had problems occasionally but never specified what. I believe her motherly love for him ignored the red flags of how dangerous he was. Cognitive dissonance in my opinion contributed to her death sadly. Her inability to see her son objectively and the danger he posed. Yet what could she do really? Not speak to him, cut him off? It was perhaps a no win situation.
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  87.  @ace9848  completely agree. Men by nature are more romantic. How many love songs were written by a woman? Hardly none. And yes it's best to spin plates, because rest assured you are never the only man she's talking to.
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  88.  @Sharpswordherald  thanks! You're right.
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  89. Mutual tolerance is optimal but most often, especially nowadays, different interests are viewed as an insult to the other person especially in the matters of politics or religion. Many have a my way or the highway attitude nowadays. My most successful relationships were by being with women that I didn't idealize. Meaning if she had a different upbringing, politics, religion, tv choices, hobbies etc. I didn't care because I was already indifferent when the relationship began. They could've worshipped satan for all I could've cared. But if they had more attraction to me than I them, they wouldn't force their beliefs, lifestyle on me. Mutual tolerance. Plus because I always viewed relationships as temporary, I was more tolerant. We all can deal with the nutcase at the bus station more when we know its momentary. The minute a person starts viewing relationships as " forever " their tolerance decreases excluding arranged marriages where divorce is impossible. Then they look for compromise. When compromise is not required and a person wants forever, they'll often try to mold and power struggle with the other. Just view every relationship as temporary and it has a better chance of lasting.
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  90. This might be a controversial viewpoint, but something Ive recently come to believe is that our lives are a simulation. We are essentially in a video game and there are real NPCs within it. People, if you will that function etc. But have no internal dialogue. They can be homeless or a CEO but they're NPCs nonetheless. Within this video game reincarnation as we think of it in the traditional sense does occur. Its caused by wanting to continue to play the game you might say as a different character. However it doesn't happen to all. Some refuse reincarnation and decide to pull the virtual reality headset off and no longer play the earth game. They return to what we all are which is a point of eternal consciousness. So to not be attached to life is simply accepting that in the traditional sense it's not real. It's a holographic illusion that seems very real much the same way a dream does when we're sleeping. We all have our headsets on each seeing the video game from a different characters perspective. Attachment to the game is the biggest cause of a lack of standards and principles. Someone so obsessed with keeping their mansion will probably be more prone to " sell their soul" as they say than someone sleeping in a tent. The history of Hollywood is a good example. To truly be principled one cannot be attached to this game.
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  91.  Fearlessness University  very good point. They have to be reminded of their submissive role or they can exit stage.
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  92.  @psychacks  Thank you Dr. For the other video suggestions I will check the ones out I haven't seen yet. I agree with you and that makes sense. The admired has no power without the admirer. And you're absolutely right, its impossible to have equality in romantic relationships. One always loves more than the other. I'd also say that this is often the case in friendships also. How often do we say " I helped them with a flat tire, attended their kids graduation, and they can't even wish me happy holidays, yet they always make time for others" I read once in a book at '' selfishness is apt to cause love from others " its contradictory yet isn't the admired person always a little more self centered than the admirer?
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  93. I agree and this phenomenon explains why you could do 5 favors for a friend, say or do 1 negative thing and the friendship may very well end. Especially during these sensitive times, where anything short of praise and adulation can be viewed as a negative experience. I also think expectations play a role, the lower the expectations of any scenario the more likely satisfaction will occur. High expectations may sound good but its also a road to misery especially where people are concerned.
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  94. All great points. There is an element to envy though that I think needs further exploration, and that is the sense of injustice associated with it. As you mentioned it can only be done towards perceived equals. People ask themselves " how do they get x,y,z when clearly I'm smarter, better looking, kinder or whatever " its this sense of injustice that causes the envious person to be destructive. Also there's an element today of people trying to create envy which is just as toxic as a hater. Essentially they are online or social media overt braggarts or humble braggers. Their goal is equally toxic. They can't enjoy their success etc. Without knowing they're better than their peers. Its like a class reunion with a " one upper" . Sometimes envy is caused by a person feeling inferior, sometimes its caused by another person wanting to be superior. Not always, but more often than not, the hater and the hated feed off each other with the same goal : to feel above the other.
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  95. ​ @mbg9650 and even to me
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  96. ​ @rayrwyr they'll not bother marrying if they can't benefit financially from a divorce.
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  97. What you're describing is the push pull method of ' love' it can work. You see it in examples of adults always trying to win the approval of a cold parent, always trying to win love and praise and the more frustrated the harder they try. However, this type of dynamic only works " successfully " in primarily insecure individuals with codependency issues. Doesn't matter if the person is attractive, wealthy, has a million things going for them, they'll be drawn to someone cold and somewhat dismissive, if they have feelings of inferiority. This doesn't just apply to men. Women are equally susceptible, but in both situations in my observations, for this manipulation tactic to work successfully, the " cold" partner must truly love less. If it's an act it'll eventually collapse and the admirer will be turned off once they actually get reciprocal love and respect. Someone with positive self esteem would never tie up with a cold partner long term in the first place. So this primarily will only work on low self esteem individuals. The catch is, that the " cold" partner will actually behave the same way as the admirer once they actually meet someone they admire. As the saying goes " everybody's somebody's fool"
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  98. In layman's terms: people see what they want to see. Delusions are biases that prevent objectivity and are primarily based on individual desires, wants, and needs. AKA: why people date against their own long term self interests and ignore red flags.
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  99. Excellent points. Greed is a classic example. No amount of money is enough. There's a theory that the mind has evolved to never be happy for any extended period of time. And the reason is to instill progress or rather perceived progress and advancement. No skyscrapers would have been built if everyone had been happy with two or one story houses. Cars and airplanes wouldn't exist if everyone had been happy with horse and buggy. The desire for infidelity is also hardwired to create more offspring or a broader variant of offspring immune systems etc. I agree though that we should know when to be satisfied and make an effort for a greater gratitude for the things we currently have.
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  100. With women you have to sell them a dream. Lies keep you together. Its totally random when it comes to attraction. You can make a million dollars, work out etc. And she could sleep with a 13 year old student she's teaching or the neighbors German Shepherd ( beastiality porn doesn't make itself) so just shrug your shoulders if some woman doesn't like you, theres one that will, regardless of how you live your life. Love Letters to serial killers proves this. You don't have to try with women. That's the secret rarely mentioned.
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  101. You answered your own question. One is direct the other indirect. Do you know why other women refer to a regular woman who has frequent and many partners as " cheap"? Because even they, perhaps consciously know they're all selling the same thing. So if one waits for an expensive diamond ring and multiple dates and dinners she's not considered cheap, yet the one that does it for fun or after a McDonald's meal and a walk through the park is. They're all selling, just some ask for a higher price, some are direct and indirect, but they're all selling.
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  102. The mystery within the context of these games is what determines why a person chooses certain games, but also how they play them. Like the example about honor vs. Survivability. What makes someone willing to die for their beliefs and others principles and standards are whichever way the wind blows just to survive or get ahead? One could say it's a matter of values, but what determines why a person chooses certain values/principles over others. That's a mystery that perhaps has no clear answer.
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  103.  @adonaiel-rohi2460  manners towards others isn't about submissive or dominant behavior, its about courtesy. Sounds like you're insecure about being kind to someone.
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  104.  @Jaco059  they rarely are
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  105.  @ronmexico8383  exactly and tom Brady, brad pitt, and Channing Tatum. They might get more women initially but they don't keep them. Those coaches selling " hit the gym and stack paper" leave out the part that none of that will keep a woman. And it's an attempt to control an outcome which is impossible when it comes to love/relationships. Charles Manson didn't hit the gym and certainly wasn't stacking paper. 5'2" broke ex con, and yet he probably slept with more women than most of the coaches.
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  106.  @ryanstrom2461  exceptions doesn't change the general rule
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  107.  @msBbee-oq7im  I haven't suffered at all. Ive been in a relationship for 10 years. I just state facts
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  108.  @WildMidwest1  exactly, it doesn't matter if you're a buff billionaire, they're never happy.
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  109.  @sarahrobertson634  oh did somebody get hurt? Hush
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  110. There's an old saying " the worst vice, is advice" what Ive found in my own life is when people want advice they usually already have an idea what they're going to do and are just looking for confirmation its sensible. If the advice given is counterintuitive to their subconscious desires they won't take the advice. This is especially true of relationship advice. There's also another element of asking for advice and that is to absolve responsibility for decisions made. If something goes wrong they can just say " well all I did was take your advice and it didn't work" If I ask advice I usually ask which possible scenarios to a decision would be the most likely to occur if I decide to do something, what's the most beneficial objectively long term and why would that be the case versus the other scenario. If someone asks my advice I usually just tell them the probable outcomes of their options and let them decide what's best for them. It took years for me to learn this because in the past I'd get too emotionally invested due to my own ego, in wanting them to take my advice.
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  111.  @nietzschesmuse  I understand. You have to ask yourself a question though. What drew you to him? Oftentimes we'll complain about an ex, and the question arises " if they're horrible why aren't you relieved they're no longer in your life?" The answer usually lies in our self perception. 99 people can tell us we're terrific and beautiful, yet the mind will fixate on the one person that decided we weren't all that. Even if we broke it off. Sometimes when a person breaks things off its an attempt to get the other person to pursue, or to see the error of their ways. It can become an obsession proving the other person wrong. Sadly most relationships aren't about love but power.
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  112.  @psychacks  That's true, others when choosing determine our worth, whether it's accurate or not. And sometimes people choose the coal lump instead of the diamond. There's tons of great amateur singers and instrumentalists on YouTube that have millions less views than Cardi b. And it's not because cardi b is better in the objective sense, its many factors but mainly coal is often the choice of the public over the diamond. Or as the bible says " pearls before swine" I always believe others are so traumatized, clueless, or downright brainwashed, that they wouldn't know what good milk is. How can one determine the value of Lobster if they've only known the taste of peanut butter sandwiches?
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  113. What we perceive we believe. And emotions alter perceptions
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  114.  @dkaob8351  very good points
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  115. Great analysis and quite accurate
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  116.  @Jeniffer61867  he meant that inaction ( not having sex without being selective, ie. any opportunity or bad choice) will help increase her value in the eyes of a future partner because she's made her sex a scarcity, versus an easy acquisition. You've heard people say " she's cheap"? It means she gives her body ( sex) away easily. So the value isn't as high, as a woman who is more selective, which is why female virginity is considered worth more than Male virginity. Male virginity requires no restraint in most cases , female virginity does.
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  117.  @exchangAscribe  it can affect the satisfaction one receives perhaps but it minimizes the significance of break ups, etc. Yes, there may not be as many highs as others but also, far fewer lows. It's a matter of which one you prefer. I was diagnosed as having antisocial tendencies so perhaps I have an advantage in regards to implementation but rest assured it's the best way to go through life. You can use logic in just about every situation and not let emotions override them. I'll give you an example: there are people from time to time I had a falling out with, or who may have been lousy, that I emotionally miss at times. However, logic reminds me that it had to end. People at their core rarely change. So instead of following a momentary emotion saying " text them its their birthday or Christmas " my logic overrides it saying " ok you text, and after the niceties you're still dealing with same person as before, so what's the point?" Logic is objective, emotions are subjective. Err on the side of objectivity when dealing with people especially, would be my advice.
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  118.  @5stelle88  thank you
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  119. You or the other person cheating? Either way it doesn't matter. The one who cheated will view you subconsciously as weak for taking them back and the one who didn't cheat will try to use the other's cheating as a power position by inducing guilt etc. Basically what I'm trying to say is reheated soup never tastes as good as the first time. Don't try to put toothpaste back in the tube. When something is over let it stay ended.
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  120. Well put! Its having standards and convictions that are unwavering in regards to one's own morality of whats right and wrong and sticking with it. The tree whose roots are deeply entrenched and unmovable no matter the storms that come. Its knowing other people's opinions of you are irrelevant and especially when they go against your belief in whats right and wrong, true or false. Simply put, it's being resolute in the ethics of one's beliefs, at the potential loss of career, family, friends.
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  121.  @RecreationalUseOnly  right! And the same for her tattoos. You see some woman with a bunch of tattoos you know she didn't spend a dime. But no doubt the tattoo artist has been blown 500 times
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  122. My two cents. Just give people time and space, as well as that for yourself. When you try to get answers to why people are suddenly ghosting or acting weird, you'd rarely get the truth even if they responded. Relationships with people are fleeting and though nobody wants to feel alienated, if you give enough time and space between the current feelings you'll eventually find resolve. And if these people never return to your life or in the same capacity, realize its just a chapter that ended. Remember some kids in the 3rd grade that might've upset you at the time? Their memory is a distance mirage, you forged ahead and can do so with this situation. 20 years from now you might only vaguely remember the people that you fret over now. Always look forward in life
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  123.  @psychacks  Thank you for the response, and further insights into these issues. I agree with your points. I guess sometimes their reaction is to maintain a certain perception or self image. If they have a certain insecurity, they will look for signs to justify it. If, they were always told or made to feel they were dumb growing up, any disagreement will reinforce that perception and they will become defensive " are you saying I'm an idiot?" People see and hear what reinforces their beliefs. I agree, Ive learned its best to walk away from those types of people. Until they gain a better self awareness, its best to leave them be, and certainly not apologize because that as you pointed out would validate their feelings/self justification. Your videos are great, I'm subscribing. They're condensed and to the point and explain very well the logic behind behavior even illogical behavior.
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  124. Wrong, they'll send hot pics when they're into you. It never fails, and they'll want filthy pics too. And I'm talking career women etc.
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  125. If the man is sane, he will consider the womans personality first. Nobody should want kids by a crazy or combative person. It would only create trauma for the child. And also, if the personality is great he might reconsider his desire for kids, if for example she's unable to have children. All roads good or bad, originate in personality. Looks fade, kids grow up, but crazy is forever.
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  126.  @DragonNo1  exactly, they could dump you for eating mayo on your sandwich. So it doesn't take much to get them to reject
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  127.  @chamuelolivier1594  those stats are probably higher. Don't be upset someone plays a game better than you.
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  128.  @unionunicorn6776  backbones aren't allowed when the police get called and abuse allegations get made when a psycho princess gets rejected directly. Remove law enforcement from the equation and I assure you, you'll see plenty of back bones but probably won't like it.
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  129.  @michelledehaen8997  nope, have emotions just don't react to them. It's like feeling the need to fart in public, not always wise to let it rip!!
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  130.  @msBbee-oq7im  not sad at all to avoid manipulative gaslighters # winning
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  131. People are drawn to messages that they identity with and that resonate with personal experiences or desires. Hence the popularity of prosperity preachers, get rich quick scams, and of course RP content. The first two for desires, the last from experience. RP customer's are seeking empathy, understanding and self control again and the creators albeit temporarily are providing that service.
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  132.  @thalmoragent9344  I agree. Sometimes they have to be called on it. And if they deny it, they've been put on notice you're aware of what they're doing. Most folks stay kids until they die.
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  133.  @PharmacyTechLabs  I like that assessment. I think often people use " love" as a guise for ulterior motives. I believe if most men had access to frequent sex and women had access to more money, neither would get married as often. People don't want to admit the true reasons for marriage. If most women suddenly won the lottery and most men suddenly were surrounded by willing women, the marriage rate would plummet. Its only necessity that causes most marriages. And women that do it are often the biggest bullies to non married child free women. Because non conformists are a challenge to their belief system and a reminder and contrast of their inability to be independent. And when a person goes home at night, the last thing they want is more expectations and conditions put on them if honest. If I come home and want to drink beer in my underwear until 3 AM I don't want someone nagging me about it, and if that means I have less people around or no people around because of that, thats just an added bonus!
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  134. This is true. I always say that nothing truly ends it just sometimes is paused. How many times have people been separated at birth, or quit speaking, only to make amends years later? Plenty. During the lull it might appear to the observer that " its over" but it's a pause. Sometimes the person hits ' play' again on the video, sometimes they don't. But either way, it's just paused. Its like ' closure' its just a perception. In the words of John Rambo in first blood " nothing is over, you just don't turn it off"
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  135.  @goodtimeholzyg4310  but enforced monogamy is fake. As rotten as society and people are overall, its good to finally see it for how it is and always was. If the only reason someone is with someone is due to enforced laws, its many things but it's definitely not love. Just accept reality for what it is and don't get attached to expectations or you'll be sadly disappointed.
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  136.  @goodtimeholzyg4310  well if shame is how you believe its enforced that's been gone since the 1950s.
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  137.  @samlange6937  very true. Its not necessarily an actual Rolls Royce but what she perceives as one based on current emotions.
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  138.  @kenandrieling5885  exactly! And its boosted their ego. Over inflated it, and their value is nil.
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  139. Tell that to pookie and rayray
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  140.  @adonaiel-rohi2460  I never said manners were social pressure. Its called empathy, thinking of other people besides yourself. Yes a person should put themselves first but once that is done, it costs nothing to be kind. And kindness is not weakness unless you do it for approval versus just being thoughtful. A person can be strong without trying to act like the terminator
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  141.  @Daniel-ef7nk  whether you walk away or she walks away after being insulted she'll feel resentment from both scenarios of course. And either way she'll respect you as long as you don't cave we both can agree on that. Where a lot of dominant men miss up is once they reprimand the woman and she sulks or goes silent, the guy usually will come back around trying to talk and even if he doesn't apologize, just by initiating communication gives her back power. I agree the man must stay firm in his decision, indecisive behavior even if it's to the womans benefit will be a loss of respect towards the man. A guy has to be like Stalin or Johnny Carson when it comes to walking away or being dumped. Just completely stay like a rock, no giving in.
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  142. Right, doing the Dubai porta potty for a Chanel handbag and to show off on Instagram.
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  143.  @psychacks  that's really true. A classic example is the not appreciating someone until they're gone aspect. Many a person's opinion of someone changes with maturity and time. Sometimes the person remembers the other with a deeper fondness and appreciation, other times they may come to see how flawed the individual was. What they receive from us is malleable and changing based on the flowing of time and circumstances. We often take hammers for granted until a nail is before us.
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  144.  @castiel4746  I agree, but that train has already left the station. And even if they were a virgin, with Instagram and tiktok she'll feel she's missing out on life 5 or 10 years into the marriage and go buck wild. And having kids with her doesn't mean nothing. Ive been in hotel rooms with plenty of moms. The best bet is just don't fall in love or take any of them seriously. Its only mens egos that cause most heartache. Worrying about having kids or " legacies" or wanting ownership through marriage. Just pump them and whether they stay or go who cares. Ive noticed the world never ended when some woman left me. They're all replaceable in some way. Yes, some are more intelligent, or better humored, or loving, but if a Cadillac breaks down be willing to drive the 94 ford tempo. They're all temporary any how. Expectations are the root of all suffering.
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  145.  @PARTYManagementARG  tom Brady, Johnny Depp, Channing Tatum, Brad pitt are famous and successful yet all had women leave them. Keep believing if you get a promotion or work 2 jobs and go to the gym your woman will stay. Delusional doesn't begin to describe you. Lord help the woman that ends up with you, but I get the impression you'll be an easy mark to women. As long as they make you feel special they'll be able to con you.
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  146. He never said you couldn't. He just said the type of man or value changes as you age. In general you won't get the quality you could've had in your 20s and exceptions don't change the rule. Its called reality. As Ayn Rand famously said " you can deny reality but you cannot deny the consequences from denying reality " it's like eating out. You can still get something to eat at 2AM but it will most likely be from a gas station and not a 5 star restaurant. The longer you wait the more limited your options.
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  147. If there's no food in the fridge I'll be dining out.
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  148.  @Damesanglante  you seem to be in denial about reality .
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  149.  @jamesbestaaron5628  Thank you. I agree, we can't expect much from the comments section sometimes. Cheers!
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  150.  @SelfImageStylist  you're not bright evidently, and self awareness isn't your strong point.
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  151.  @chamuelolivier1594  you're a woman I presume
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  152.  @ryanstrom2461  but what if I'm not into fat women?
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  153.  @PharmacyTechLabs  wrong. Men use it too. Just look at pimps and prostitutes. It's the same dynamic albeit on a more overt scale.
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  154.  @ady6837  thanks!
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  155.  @bogumiljanowskiweb  Thanks Henry
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  156.  @ra2530  Thanks RA
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  157.  @castiel4746  completely agree
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  158.  @DonTwanX  Thanks! Yes disrespectful female behavior can definitely come from coworkers, friends and family too.
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  159. Contentment generally comes from gratitude even for the present mundane moments most people have in their daily lives. The issue with contentment is most people refer to it as learning to be satisfied with what one has in the moment ie. Everyday existence. The problem occurs when its assumed it can be achieved in any circumstances even under extremes, for example torture, combat, extreme abuse. I don't think in these situations contentment is possible. Now where the issue occurs is torture and extreme abuse for example are subjective in regards to degrees, sorta like the pain tolerance threshold is different for each person. Some teens might consider having their phone taken away as torture or extreme abuse equal to that of the bataan death march. The point being contentment itself is an abstract idea and unless it can be achieved even in the extremes it will primarily remain elusive or at best short term only because what we might consider a minor setback or a boring day, is someone else's dante's inferno.
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  160.  @MelModica  I understand. Sometimes jealousy originates in feeling not in control. They say its insecurities but dig deeper and the insecurity lies in feeling not in control of the person's behavior/feelings. People may ask " what about people jealous of your car, looks, or status" the same applies. They feel they don't control their looks, or not in control of finances/job etc. Jealousy is always about not feeling in control of something. Ive learned to just view all people as temporary. Be it 10 minutes or 50 years. This allows me to not form attachments. So if they quit talking, break up etc. Theres maybe some sadness for a few days, then just indifference. Our Lives themselves are temporary so it would only make sense everything in it is as well. That includes feelings such as sadness etc.
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  161. In layman's terms, lost causes are pointless. The minute she starts making you angry a few times, leave. She'll not get better with time. Most personality traits become magnified, not diminished, with age. Excluding health reasons.
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  162. Right, its irrelevant why Ted Bundy became a serial killer, just realize you probably shouldn't hitch a ride in his Volkswagen.
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  163. He risks his freedom the minute they move in together or he signs a marriage contract. All it takes is one false DV charge and he's in jail. That's why when people divorce they usually talk about loving their " freedom "
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  164.  @sarahrobertson634  well the thing is women need men. Men want women. Anytime a person has a need, they will automatically out of survival become more cunning. Women know that there'd be no society without men. Can you imagine an all female construction crew trying to build a skyscraper? Wouldn't happen because women are too catty towards each other, and the reason is they're all competing for the resourcefulness of a man. Any progress women have made as far " rights" has been because men allowed it. It's not even debatable. If the physically weakest person in prison has the weightlifter doing his chores it because the weightlifter allowed it. That's why women prefer in general a docile man , smart enough to build things, but not smart enough to question things in regards to women. I often hear men say " I'd never pay for sex" sure.....don't pay the mortgage for 6 months and see how long that " loving" wife sticks around. The greatest asset a woman ever has is the mans own ego. Its impossible for a woman to fool a man that doesn't think he's special.
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  165. You didn't lose anything. And when it comes to break ups. Remember Lots wife " don't look back "
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  166.  @goodtimeholzyg4310  how is monogamy enforced? In America there's no laws against infidelity
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  167.  @captnhuffy  agreed!
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  168.  @healthiswealth6237  true and pookie and ray ray are usually driving that bus.
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  169.  @arcturusme2630  not once she gets here. Those foreign women are not marrying western men because they like being submissive. If they did they'd marry a local. They want the lifestyle they've seen on Instagram. Why marry period? Its lame and downright foolish at this point.
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  170.  @psychacks  Yes, hope is a whole industry to itself. The problem I think is that for ones Hope's to be realized certain steps have to be done. Many people have the lana Turner at Schwab's drug store mentality with recognition. Hoping that recognition will occur by someone with power or wealth. The live for the exception to the rule. I hear people in the art world discuss " just be passionate " or they'll be exploited by vanity galleries charging them exorbitant rent just in Hope's of being recognized. I like to do oil paintings in my free time and my policy is using emotions to inspire a painting is fine, but use logic when making and marketing it. True with anything
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  171.  @abrahiemdash7676  an ego in regards to balanced self esteem and self respect is fine. It's the minute a person thinks they're special or entitled they're in trouble. Show me someone with a big ego that thinks they're special and I'll show you an easy person to manipulate.
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  172. That's not true sometimes and don't ask me how I know.
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  173.  @adonaiel-rohi2460  dude, quit making a big deal about holding a door open. Are you really that insecure? Think if you hold a door open you're weak? Grow a spine. You're weak if that's your test of strength.
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  174.  know where to look  exactly!
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  175.  @OilCanHarry2U  thank you
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  176.  @PussInBoot414  I understand. Ive lost many a friendship over nothing. People tend to only remember the flaws of a person versus the good. Even friendships that didn't end badly just to seem to fade away. In my experience I learned I was expecting a validation from them that I meant something or had value despite the flaws. And I learned that was pointless. Never allow someone to dictate your value based on their warped perceptions. Sure, you'll hurt and even after a year a grudge might still exist, or even longer. Hurting and being angry is normal just continue to do it in silence. People want to justify their perceptions so if you reached out and explained your feelings most likely it'd make them feel superior and that they are still in the judgment seat. I read a lot of biographies and Johnny Carson when someone shunned him or angered him cut them off, never speaking again. Bette Davis never spoke to her daughter again after the tell all book she wrote. It doesn't mean they didn't hurt it just meant they had a set of principles and stuck with them, not allowing emotions to get the best of them. When someone acts like they don't want your company see to it they don't get it unless they come with an apology. In regards to cheating, there's a saying " when a man steals your wife the greatest revenge is letting him keep her"
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  177. They show up sometimes even if not interested in you or dating you simply based on if the refrigerator is empty and you plan on meeting somewhere food is served.
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  178.  @psychacks  that's true. No matter how well we can do with our own company, we are social creatures. Some more so than others. I really enjoy your insights Dr. Taraban. Ive been fascinated with the human mind since a teenager trying to figure out people's motives. Read many of the well known names of 19th and 20th century psychology and you give unique perspectives that are fresh and make a person think. No matter the extent of knowledge they previously obtained. People are fascinating but there can be a frustration with psychological knowledge and liberation at the same time. Frustration being, that just because you know why a person behaves as they do, doesn't mean you can alter the behavior beyond perhaps a momentary crisis. Its like a mechanic saying the engine blew a gasket. You know why the car is not drivable but that knowledge alone doesn't change the cars immobility. Its said only people can change themselves and though true, often they don't or almost can't. But the liberating part of all of this is we learn to accept or not accept people as they are. A big part of dysfunctional relationships is the inability to accept this reality, I believe. Anyhow, great work and insights as always.
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  179.  @31minutesago  exactly!
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  180. ​ @PreppyPrincess777 yasssss queen! 😂
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  181.  @apatheliac  that depends on the man. A few women who were " sorta" honest, meaning they probably lowered their number but not to good girl status, had slept with between 20 and 30 men by that age. One who really surprised me, seemed very wholesome liked the outdoors, hiking, was a bit of a loner, shy. She told me she'd been with around 50. I didn't care because I don't plan on marrying and never was in love with any of them, but those are the numbers, make of that what you will. And for the guys thinking these women must've been drug addicts or whatever, nope they all had careers and no jail records and two came from non divorced families.
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  182.  @PARTYManagementARG  dude Ive been in relationships for years I know fully well what I'm talking about. You keep looking for the unicorn or mary Poppins, let me know how that works out.
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  183. In simple terms theres no such thing as unconditional love. Expectations in some form will always exist in any dynamic whenever another person is involved.
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  184.  @arcazon2485  that is true. I believe it should also have the word " perceived " in front of it also. This is why someone, who to outsiders, seems to be going against their long term well being, still do those behaviors. Because in their mind it is their " perceived " best interests. It may not be, but to them it is. This can apply to such obvious examples as voting, dating, debt etc. and the choices surrounding them.
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  185.  @truthsayer13  completely agree, it's a pure zoo out there. Thanks!
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  186.  @LisaCulton  so as the commenter above used the analogy of a beating could also be applied: when a woman has physical abuse its because of something she does or neglected to do. Those are the facts take it or leave it.
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  187.  @hondahirny  very true!
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  188. But what if the woman wants to go back to the mans place? Or is this just about power moves and plays?
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  189.  @Last_one_before_I_go  thank you
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  190.  @mediocreman2  I agree kindness can get them to dump you too. I don't think telling them straightforward their issues that caused you to dump them helps, simply because that'd call for self awareness and reflection. Most can't/won't do that so they'll just go into defensive mode and feel you're " judging " them.
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  191.  @arsenal4444  thank you so much! I try to help from experience
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  192.  @arsenal4444  Thank you. Well in regards to relationship success in my own experience each age group has its own challenges. My 20s wasn't great because I was naive about many things and didn't fully understand dating/relationships. Women within that age group for the most part are extremely addicted to attention and the attention/love of one man is never sufficient usually. My early 30s were better because I was playing the field with more knowledge and didn't take them as seriously. The problems that begin to occur as one ages from 35 into the 40s is that more women will accumulate baggage. ie. Kids, divorces, exes in general. Plus women within this age group tend to start becoming more money driven. Meaning they start asking about dental plans, 401ks etc. Whereas in their 20s not so much. You seem intelligent and analytical which is good for self preservation. However, these traits will reduce the number of women seeking a relationship with you. The reason being, is it's harder to manipulate/con a man with these traits. So just as a bank robber seeks out a bank with few security guards, so will a woman trying to get the upper hand in a relationship. And they can sense which men are easier fooled. My suggestion would be just let things happen naturally, avoid marriage. A successful relationship requires a woman who loves you more than you love her, ie. Don't pursue relationships with women you're crazy about. They never work long term in my experience. And also realize relationships are optional. You can have a fulfilling life without them.
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  193. The best example of this is the fact we can have a loving relationship with our pets, that not only don't talk but are not even the same species. Talking too much in any relationship form is usually unnecessary and often is similar to gambling. The longer you do it, the more likely you'll lose. Silence really is golden.
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  194. In time, and that time is different for everyone but it will happen.
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  195.  @josevelasco1388  well yes, that's a matter of forgiving people for their faults and this can be done, but preferably at a distance. I can forgive someone without keeping them in my life simply because personality rarely changes no matter how hard the person wants to.
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  196.  @maylin1986  what I meant by that last part is that our own egos can trick ourselves into believing we should be loved and admired and in so doing expect others to do it. This causes us to become angry if we get rejected, or ignored by someone we like. Which is the opposite of indifference. It's ok to believe we are special, the problem arises when we expect others to believe that about us too.
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  197.  @sweetbeep  you lessen ego by reducing/eliminating expectations and entitlement. Take romance for example. You may expect that text message, phone call, etc. because you've been a good date/partner, etc. If it doesn't occur your ego is wounded. It doesn't mean your feelings aren't valid or fair, it just means, in order to get to indifference, one must shed expectations brought about by ego. Now a balanced ego is necessary to have personal boundaries and normal self esteem. However when it gets into entitlement or expectations, the risk becomes an inflated ego. People will wrong us at times, let us down, however by not taking it personally and accepting they have free will no matter whether their choices are rational or not, over time the ego reduces and settles into indifference while also maintaining balance and boundaries, because we also have free will and can choose not to have those people in our lives. Not from the anger of a wounded ego, but from the indifference of realizing our happiness does not rely on them, unless we allow our ego to run the show.
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  198. The government's in the west have become the men to women. No one man can override government policies. So just as the phenomenon of war bride system exists ( women being submissive to invading armies) they are now only submissive to government ( not husbands/partners) a woman generally only likes the idea of a man, not the actual man. The reason policies are put in place to quell traditional masculinity, is because it prevents revolutions and overthrows. Basically a docile society that obeys. Now there is a paradox to this. The government knows it needs men to enforce its policies. Hence psychological testing for law enforcement, agencies and military units. It's not to weed out true nut cases. Its actually designed to test for blind obedience and sociopathic traits. Both qualities governments love and need to enforce policies. The germans and Russians in world war 2 were quite masculine, yet very obedient and unquestioning of leadership and policy. What is ideal, is masculinity with a tinge of consciousness and free thinking. To me, no greater trait of dominance is the questioning mind. You want to be more masculine? Question and research, read and never blindly let propaganda erode confidence in your ability to learn and question.
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  199. But then again success is subjective, and there's plenty of people in their 30s and 40s and older that might be successful in the traditional sense but are rock bottom dumb. And if someone is old enough to die in combat they should have the right to decide who sends them there. Unless you raise the military entrance age, you should not raise the voting age.
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  200. @airthrowDBT I agree. I believe though, that some people with naive assumptions and inflated egos will try to argue for respect wasting time usually.
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  201.  @realalexmackenzie  yes indeed. Its gaslighting 101.
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  202.  @ca5236  high key misandry pshh
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  203. A man is only as faithful as their options. It all boils down to reproduction. As John Barrymore said " its impossible to sleep with every woman....but one must try to " its natures way of getting the best outcome regardless of the feelings of the participants. Nature wants winners, so women will want to breed with a winner, and a man has a better chance at having offspring and more offspring the greater the number of women he sleeps with. Nature couldn't care less about the man or womans feelings or consequences from this instinct. It just knows it's the optimal way to continue the species. Basically nature rewards the man who has succeeded by giving him more numerous options to duplicate his gene's.
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  204.  @psychacks  I like " when acquisitiveness is corrupted by insatiablity it becomes greed" it's very true. I wonder what your thoughts on social media, like Instagram, Facebook, etc. are in regards to any correlation. Some use the sites for moderate socializing and business/work but many use them for adulation., narcissistic purposes. The fact that no amount of " likes " or " followers/friends " is ever enough. It's a form of greed but in a more abstract sense. Since nothing is directly attained beyond a superficial boost to self esteem
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  205.  @issac1135  thanks
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  206.  @ritasjourney  Jack in the box is delicious
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  207. Don't use a cure thats worse than the disease
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  208.  @dallas2352  that's a very good point. Their feelings. Not those of others are all that matters.
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  209.  @Susurro  very true
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  210. How do you define commitment? Many people are committed but not married. And marriage in no way makes a partner more faithful or committed, otherwise divorce would not exist. I sometimes think women confuse marriage for love or added commitment but if the commitment ends due to his or their behavior, either way they get a payout. Otherwise there's no logical reason to want to marry a man except for a financial motive.
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  211.  @anitago  a man will only do what's necessary and appealing. Why should a man slave away and constantly have to improve himself for what? How do women improve themselves? Some guy isn't going to work constantly just to improve himself for a tiktok or Instagram nut. It's not happening. I can rent what you offer. You can't rent what I have.
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  212.  @alexanderg5386  completely agree with you
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  213. @KimPhilby203  nobody asked you kim
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  214. Women apologize to other women frequently,but not to men. His experience and your experience will probably be different based on gender. Plus he I'm assuming was talking about within the context of a romantic relationship, though it also applies to friendships.
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  215. I agree. I always ask a person what their intent is from doing something publicly. How will it benefit you beyond a pat on the back from a few people? Does it pay? I use to do background acting and some of them would do a short film or something just for an IMDb credit. Or a podcast interview from an equally unknown friend or colleague. I never participated nor had any interest. When they'd ask why? I'd respond by saying that the utility companies don't take podcast interviews as payment, nor IMDb credits. They'd naturally say " but it could lead to bigger things" maybe it could, but in my opinion they were wasting time. Not everything has to be done for money. But unless one is already wealthy, time spent volunteering time for no pay just for recognition is pointless. Its like someone posting a pic of what they ate unless paid why bother? Nobody's caring that Tina from high school had the 2 for 20 meal deal at chili's. All pointless.
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  216.  @toddjohnson271  exactly, so we can override the impulses or redirect them.
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  217. I think its just a matter of what I refer to as " strategic likability ". For example, I use to have friends ( I use the term generously) who provided little to no benefit in comparison to the energy I was providing them. So once I no longer cared whether the liked me, the friendships ended. I lost nothing by not being likable. Except dead emotional weight. But in a work environment where I normally might bump heads with someone, I have learned strategic likability. The strategy of being likable in that scenario is to my benefit. When it is not to my benefit, I do not utilize it. Many people are not worth utilizing it.
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  218.  @tancreddehauteville764  you can change how you act even if you can't change the impulse.
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  219. ....but what if all you only have to offer is new pair of sneakers, would one shoe work the same? Just kidding, great story and do believe it has an affect on people psychologically. I remember once in Tucson AZ a young guy who just got released from jail and was bumming money in the greyhound station where I was at. I told him I hadn't had breakfast myself but if I was able to help I would. He immediately pulled out 5 dollars and told me to get something to eat. I asked him a little about himself and he told me he asked money and some give it. I asked what if nobody gives it. He said " then I start taking it but in jail I get 3 hots and a cot so not worried either way" totally was not expecting empathy from an admittedly violent hustler and yet something about someone not having food to eat made him want to help.
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  220. Meeting halfway can be fine if you rent a hotel room. That way if her place is messy or roommates, she knows she can still be intimate in a town or place where she's not known. Also she can drink at the restaurant without having to worry about driving drunk back home, plus most importantly, she would not know where you live. The last thing you'd want is someone who might potentially be stalkerish know where you live. And trust me,,most women don't have a problem with the hotel restaurant scenario in a new area. They view it as a guilt free escape from their town. I've done it plenty of times.
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  221. Women not sending pics is a power move. If you still talk to her after refusal, she knows she's in charge. Trust me, if a Hollywood movie star asked pics, she'd send some that would make a gynecologist blush. They've all taken dirty pics, don't believe otherwise.
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  222.  @invisibleme5  hahaha fair enough but they say true love will leave you breathless
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  223. One thing I've noticed with age is that even when days are slow time still moves faster than when young. Part of the reason is two fold. Decreased novelty from experiences and a diminishing optimism of the future. Death is an interesting thing in that our own deaths we always think are in some vague distant future, not considering it may be a week from now or in 6 months so we always think as if time is limitless even if consciously we know its not. Life is interesting in the fact that we say we love it, yet spend most if not all of it trying to distract ourselves from it, be it through work, vices, or endless scrolling or tv watching. Most days are pure autopilot for 99% of the population.
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  224. What most people call racism is merely a modern label for pattern recognition. Without the ability to recognize certain aspects like danger, no matter its source. The species would not have survived. Pattern recognition is evolutions quick way of assessing things to increase survival, avoid danger, and increase potential reproduction. And yes commonality does occur. Darwin's cattle experiment proved self segregation occurs
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  225. Very good analysis. It's a fear based reaction to potential failure. You see this in so many forms. Starting an argument with a crush if you know they don't like you ' that way'. Getting drunk before an exam. So if you fail it was alchohol not poor intellect that caused it. Overeating so if someone doesn't like you its because you're obese versus having personality flaws. Self sabotage is probably the most common form of passive aggressive behavior towards those around us on a completely subconscious level. It let's society judge us without us feeling as much guilt about it than if we failed solely for ourselves versus self induced external factors or behaviors.
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  226.  @PARTYManagementARG  I get that but even the most seemingly " innocent " usually are. You never truly know a woman. It's all a roll of the dice.
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  227.  @LisaCulton  I disagree. Even children have expectations put on them. If your child became a serial killer or at 18 said " mom I'm going to live on the street and drink , do drugs and not have a job" don't believe for a second you wouldn't be mad as a wet hen. And if you are then that's conditional. You may say you'd still love them but I doubt it. Because if you did then you'd give them money to support their drug habit, or help bury the bodies. If not, it's not " tough love" its conditional. Nice try though.
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  228. Great job , and congratulations Dr. Taraban. I first saw one of your videos when you had 3 thousand subscribers and I remember after watching it, looking at your subscriber number and thinking " why so few subscribers? This is really thought provoking stuff" and I remember thinking in a pessimistic way, that the public is beyond hope. fortunately, your self discipline overrode any pessimism you may have had, and is a testament to the benefits of consistency.
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  229. Well put. Its like arguing with a woman or getting riled by her behavior. Attention, good or bad, is still attention, and they live for acknowledgement of their existence.
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  230. The thing is, is there are some people who, even when experiencing loss in some significant way, often block it. Live in a state of denial. I know several people that don't even like discussing death and are in denial about other uncomfortable realities. Grief or loss will never be understood by those, even if they experience it, if they deny its reality. One thing I observed when dating was I would watch a conspiracy documentary with a woman and guage her reaction. If she was the type who immediately was dismissive, especially if it went against everything she was taught or believed in prior, I found those women easier to cheat on. Because any uncomfortable truth or painful realization was denied and blocked. If a person doesn't accept objective facts they never experience loss at an equal level consciously. Perhaps their subconscious does in nightmares or anxiety dreams but not consciously.
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  231.  @keylanoslokj1806  exactly!
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  232. ​ @garymalone547 we know, they just bent over right there in the bar for you, you didn't even have to buy them a hot dog or beer 🙄
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  233. And they still say " yaaasss Queen!" When talking to each other. Or " stunning and brave"
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  234.  @samreplete1842  Thank you!
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  235. Excellent video and in a way, explains the willingness of the general public to take experimental injections to prevent a cold with a 99% survival rate.
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  236. ​ @annesmith9181  puts them to bed without a bath?? God forbid.....lady this isn't Walton's mountain. Unless the kids worked in a coal mine all day or rolled in mud, they usually didn't get dirty enough to warrant a bath. Also bathing kids daily leads to asthma, allergies and overall weakened immune systems. Sounds like you're a control freak
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  237.  @ericdoheny9108  nothing wrong with that
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  238. @cats think my name is Claude bingo!! She'll be relieved to break up 😂
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  239.  @decwow  because they'd still view that as you rejecting them
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  240.  @kirstengrahamrmt  good you and your mom can start giving money to him and other men. It'll make you happy. Its called being a provider. Do it since it increases happiness.
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  241. Both but predominantly with female to Male interactions. Women will apologize to women or a stranger like a postal worker, cashier etc. But to any man she halfway knows, hardly if ever.
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  242.  @jennam2867  Thank you
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  243.  @LordPrutsikas  get lost
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  244. @Mihai Adrian totally agree, they're just as bad because their stupidity and behavior is what gives women their power.
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  245.  @flazjsg  totally true. Well gaslighting tries to flip the script. We're all crazy for recognizing reality. If you said tiger have stripes, some woman would say " but not all tigers do" they live on exceptions to the rule because they all think they're the exception. They're not.
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  246.  @user-jg5xm8um8y  thank you
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  247.  @junipersnow1  I understand what you feel. My parents quit speaking to my siblings and though initially it hurt, they over time was glad to not have the stress. I'm not on speaking terms with most of my family. What happens is most people chase their investments ( time, money, etc.) What I do, is judge the individuals behavior, actions etc. I learned to ignore the relationship of the individual ( ie. Friend, lover, family)because its irrelevant. Some folks are no longer worth any more time or investment. Some people are just no longer compatible. And past history are irrelevant. Its like sitting at a slot machine. You may have put a thousand dollars into it, it may have even paid a few wins, but once you continuously lose, don't chase and walk away. People should be viewed the same. It'll hurt, but not as much as trying to change an ungrateful person.
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  248. The reproduction theory is innate. Just as birth control exists it still doesn't prevent people from wanting sexual activity which is the goal of heterosexual pairings. And natures intent with that activity is reproduction. You may be on a diet for example, but the desire to eat is still there, and that desire is to maintain survival, regardless of how you circumvent it.
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  249. Wow, so many 5 year olds in this thread. Trust me, they love sending dirty pics. Ive got so many over the years I could've been a gynecologist. They will act uptight only if she doesn't desire you. Trust me, if brad pitt wanted some she'd send a portfolio, so that says all you need to know. And women want filthy pics , videos too. And I'm talking career women from all walks of life.
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  250. ​ @planetary-rendez-vous because people like to feel in control.
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  251. ​ @matthewhunter6421 you have to be the lamest commenter ever. " perpetual adolescence " versus being a " perpetual slave " I'll choose adolescence every time. You have that tazered look in your eyes thinking you've found the " one" and no doubt you think she's all yours, in a few years you'll find out all about " love" and it probably won't be like the Disney movies you've been gorging on.
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  252. ​ @MrMan-fx3ow grow up! Nobody needs more mediocre genes in the world. Kids is nothing more than a symbol of ego and narcissism. Look into adoption if you want to help an already existing child.
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  253.  @adirice4636  thanks !
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  254.  @IAmTheEggMan111  confront it and see if the other person acknowledges it and apologizes. If they act like you're wrong or crazy, they're gaslighting and you should walk away and cut ties.
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  255.  @DwyaneWadeCounty  true, that also applies to friends, anyone in your network really.
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  256.  @Willie_Wahzoo  thank you Jeff. Agreed I should have separated the paragraph.
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  257.  @frankharris3380  Thank you Frank
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  258.  @JohnDoe-em2xd  Thank you John. I appreciate the compliment.
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  259. @@NRGY very true
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  260. A healthy love of oneself
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  261. I agree. A womans greatest asset is her ability to manipulate the mans ego. And to also use guilt to get compliance from a man. Women by default are gas lighters. Most men get manipulated by their sense of empathy and honor. Women in general do not have such a handicap. The male feminist is an automatic red flag to a woman as far as desire is concerned simply because he denies his nature and own self interests. A woman though repulsed recognizes she can benefit from this and control him. A man should always separate his biological impulses to mate or be protective of a woman when she's trying to manipulate. The easiest way is to ask " would I do the same favor for a man?" If the answer is no, then he's letting impulsivity guide him instead of logic. As far as matching a woman verbally in a fight, the easiest way is to gaslight her, and also when necessary, wound her ego in a specific way that implies she's less than. Most men make the mistake of name calling, that stuff doesn't even register with her. But if you say something vague that implies she's not smart, implies her family is poor, implies she aging, or would look better if she did x,y,z, essentially anything she is insecure about, it will have a greater effect. She may hate you, but I promise she'll avoid crossing you again and respect you perhaps at a distance.
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  262.  @phoenixrisin2269  you're truly not bright. I was speaking about society as whole. Try reading a book some time.
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  263.  @daleclarke2849  get lost
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  264.  @madisonstarr4925  thank you
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  265.  @ShamanMcLamie  Sarah is just an over the hill troll in the hills of Montana, if she sits around the family table reading YouTube comments to her subpar husband and offspring what does that indicate? You know how I can tell her husband is a loser? Its simple: he married it.
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  266.  @alanunaiomen3486  she wouldn't have it any other way, but then again she doesn't have a choice. When you're a combative zero you have to tie up with who'll have you. Now of course she'll try to dress up the turd willing to submit to her, and the C grade offspring that came from it , but that's necessary due to cognitive dissonance. Rest assured she's her own worst enemy.
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  267.  @vicljr8533  thank you Vic
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  268.  @veronikatomsu6841  I can agree that people in general are not good at apologizing, however the motivations are different. A man may not apologize due to pride, or not wanting to appear weak, but internally he'll know he's wrong even if he never acknowledges it. A woman however doesn't believe she's wrong. That's the difference. Her feelings to her or her actions derived from those feelings cannot be wrong, otherwise she wouldn't have felt the way she did. When a woman does apologize its usually to gain something or to not be outcast by peers or a social group, but it's never because she did something wrong in her mind.
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  269.  @sarahrobertson634  Ive never implied men can't be delusional. Of course they can. Your husband thinking he married a human is just one example.
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  270.  @sarahrobertson634  you're partly right in that regard. Men are much more emotional and easier to manipulate. How else could one explain the fact that the physically stronger of the genders so often get conned by their weaker counterparts. A man might be intellectually bright in many things, but when it comes to emotional games women overall are better at it for much the same reason a sociopath is. There's no innate empathy, so basically love to a woman is strictly business. In a sense theres a logic to it if she's strategic. If she has poor impulse control and overly emotional she ends up pregnant at 17 because billy bob made her tingle. In order for men to be successful with women its simple: they must remain detached emotionally and be just as strategic as any woman trying to escape some po-dunk town .
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  271.  @sarahrobertson634  even within a primitive society women usually are not going to build their houses or huts. So yes when it comes to plumbing, electricity, etc. Women need men. A few exceptions don't change the rule. And not everyone wants to live like its Walton's mountain. I do agree that modern society is not good and its primarily because men allowed that by seeking female approval. If no women existed, men overall would be fine living in a shack. So to compete for reproduction access they try to do more to impress the womb owners. Nature doesn't need many men to repopulate an area. One bull could impregnate 100 cows. Your point isn't exactly rocket science. And most women like yourself who have an underlying hatred of men, its because of an underlying resentment of the need. If nothing else you need at least one man to protect you from the other men. You can deny , deflect, qoute all you want. You know it's TRUE.
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  272.  @gabriellejames4976  no problem Gabrielle, I just want people to know they can think outside the box to reach happiness. I hope you find happiness and remember it's often found within, and the expectations of others is often the source of pain. One should only expect that they themselves will always try to see the flawed yet beautiful moments this life has to offer.
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  273.  @anitago  yes, typically gold diggers. If you have your own resources quit searching for the resources of others. You see, you're incapable of love. You love opportunistically. Men marry women all the time who don't have resources, rarely do women do that with men. So please don't tell me about mens capabilities for love. Would women give up their seats on the titanic? Plenty of men did.
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  274.  @anitago  your diversion tactics are noted. The fact is women lack the capacity to love the same as men. Any man that gets with you will not have love, just more fingers in his wallet. At least do it the honest way. No sane man would tolerate you.
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  275.  @omniamericana2172  very well said! Many men have no identity outside of a womans approval/perception of them. They can say they do x,y,z for self improvement, but rest assured there would be no career striving or gym visits if suddenly every woman was abducted by aliens. Instead of being honest they try to either act as if women's approval is a byproduct versus an intent. Or they act like that's the way it should be. Instead of finding true value in themselves and not concerned whether women or society in general approves of them. Women's manipulation tactics will always work so long as men in general allow their egos to rule them.
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  276.  @omniamericana2172  Amen! Tom Brady, Channing Tatum, Johnny Depp, Brad Pitt etc. So many top 5 % men get dumped , divorced and disrespected it's no different than the average joe. So let them work as hard as they want to, to achieve rejection same as everyone else. Until they learn it's a silly game they'll always be prone to manipulation. When women hear ' alpha ' they just grin and think this will be fun duping this guy. Women use a mans ego in two ways, against him and to her benefit.
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  277.  @ALTheFreeMan  exactly right!
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  278.  @Coyote-wm5op  very good point!
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  279.  @hirokomlm131  totally agree, without the incentive of a loyal relationship, most men will choose to live simpler lives and careers. And drop out altogether, which is already occurring. This will deplete the tax revenue overtime and eventually collapse infrastructure and society at large.
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  280.  @valido2  by having standards and never changing them to please a woman or anybody. You won't always be loved but you will be respected. People are attracted to people who stick to their principles
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  281.  @macmachine  tell us all, just when did the inferiority complex begin?
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  282.  @gloriahui3490  yup
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  283. Because the pain of being obese and lazy is not as painful as dieting and being active to some people. Its essentially the lesser of two evils. Remember it's about perception, not objective reality.
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  284.  @Naturallynatural3  the rare exception doesn't change the rule. Men propose but women pressure when it comes to marriage. A woman would not press for marriage if it didn't benefit her. Nor initiate 80% of all divorces if it didn't benefit her. And finally women would not be complaining overall about the declining marriage rates if there was no benefit. Evolution and society would not have evolved if women were selfless. They tend not to run into burning buildings to save others, or give up their lifeboat seats on sinking ships. So I doubt they're marrying to make others happy or benefit, at least in Western society.
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  285. You make valid points about successful men still getting dumped, divorced etc. And this is apart of the red pill acceptance. Dating coaches act like if you go to the gym and make 6 figures a year success is guaranteed. Female prison guards all sleeping with one convict who's in jail and broke should show this is not true. The full acceptance of red pill means women do things on whims, emotions, no rhyme or reason and to view any of them as temporary. The notion of still wanting a marriage or children is still being in denial about womens behavior and legal power. The infamous " good one" they're all good at times, that means nothing. So what I'm saying is never get attached with the mindset or goal of permanence. Just enjoy them temporarily, be it 10 hours or 10 years and unless you are willing to not see your children or have them raised by another man and send money each month to a by gone relationship, don't marry or have kids. That's just the facts and total acceptance of the situation. All the push ups, weight lifting, movie careers, success in the world will never change the fact that legally a woman has more power over you if you marry or have kids.
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  286. You can't be honest with 99% of women. And you know it! If some man says I just want to pipe you down for a few days and leave will you let him? Nope. If you want to know why men lie to have sex its because you demand the lie to absolve yourself from feeling loose and easy. Talk about honesty and integrity start practicing it first. Men know the charade you require to keep your " reputation "
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  287.  @motorbreath22  that's fine but accept that once you do that, you have 0 power and a woman will have you by the balls. And once again, why do you want children? So some other individual has to deal with hardships because you want to play catch with someone? Did you cure cancer? Discover a new galaxy? I'm trying to understand the arrogance required to believe your genes must live on.
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  288.  @marriagecausesdivorce7540  he's 48 but definitely got the right idea
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  289. As long as a man has decent looks, money for lunch, and an internet signal, he has options. Not necessarily marriage/long term options ( which is totally not necessary) but he'll have bedroom options. Fact is, many women are boring. So not only is there no point in talking daily or frequently, why would you want to? You'll get the same dry, dull conversation about some lame coworker, what she ate, the trip to see her parents, her bad hair day, her hopes for the weekend. Just totally useless chatter.
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  290.  @roses6564  that's true, you make valid points about both genders. The fact is most intelligent people are loners by default. I really don't care to have many friends simply for the reasons you mentioned. Ive heard guys talk about sports, or use the same cliched lines they heard on a video. " hit the gym, start a business " etc. Its like a group of automatons that repeat the same thing. What Ive noticed most, is that both genders tend to live with a lack of self awareness, delusional to get through the day, and have not learned that just talking for talkings sake is pointless. In regards to dating, Ive observed that often intelligent people will date who they view as hot if possible, even if their IQ is room temperature. The reason I believe is they feel it makes them viable and also allows for control. This is why you might see a bookworm plain jane with a gym rat. She gets to feel desirable and also power because she's got someone controllable. Same applies if you see an intelligent man with a Hooters waitress. He gets to feel cool and needed.
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  291.  @JWesleyKyle3  once again gender has nothing to do with manners got it?
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  292. I'm not really surprised. A man of intelligence is harder to manipulate usually so I can see why intelligence was not that important to women in the study. Kindness I'm not surprised about either because in a womans reptilian part of her brain most likely views it as a weakness that can be exploited by the general population. Loyalty I'm not surprised about either. Harems and celebrities prove that they don't mind sharing a man if he has the qualities they value more such as looks and status. A woman would rather share brad pitt than have Stephen hawking all to herself. So not surprised at the findings.
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  293. No matter what a woman looks like, she'll have at least 3 or more men wanting her. Ever been to Walmart and seen an obese woman with a child in the cart? Someone impregnated it. The key to removing jealousy, is practiced indifference. Because no matter how great you are, there's someone else that might get her heart racing. And also, there's not much you can do about your face looks wise, nor height. So practiced indifference does not try to remove jealousy, it recognizes it but does not react to it. Think of it like holding in gas. You may really want to let it rip in church or an elevator but you don't. You may want to react to what your stomach is doing in the elevator, but just as you control that, you can control emotional outbursts too. And over time it will become second nature. Jealousy is an inability to accept what you can't control. And when it comes to romance, all the money, gym memberships, logic and looks can't override a womans emotions. She may leave you for the 300 lb screen jockey. With practiced indifference it will not matter.
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  294.  @derodomtommy3716  thanks, yes it was surreal when I learned she was murdered. You're right, society often tries to label masculinity as a disorder.
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  295. @mpclepto182  I agree. I read once the definition of paranoia is "perfect awareness" and antisocial can be label for anyone not willing to accept or tolerate being boxed in by an ungrateful society's expectations.
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  296.  @cing9545  focus on you and not my comment.
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  297.  @Raisenbread  I see mom gave you back internet privileges. Try not to abuse them again
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  298. ​ @kavoshkhoshbin1432 over the hill
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  299.  @brianjones9780  how about growing a brain.
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  300.  @TeacherJoey123  " bro" or is it " bruh" all you drones sound the same. If you think being an emotional punching bag for a narcissist is strength then you're in for a hard life. All a woman will ever see in you is someone to exploit just for you to prove to her how manly you are. Notice your way of thinking, if one can call it that, you're already trying to appease her whims. If you were actually dominant she'd be trying to figure out how to please you. But whatever helps you cope. You can go put on a muscle shirt, get a couple of tribal tattoos, get those " gainz" maybe " stack some paper" too and play stoic and not realize your own ego and delusions will be used against you by a more intelligent woman that sees a clown.
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  301.  @TGP109  because once impregnation occurs he's pretty much fulfilled his role as far as nature's concerned. The males of other species don't predominantly stick with the mother of their offspring for decades. So for the human Male to be in a long term monogamous relationship it absolutely limits his ability to reproduce with other women. Nature doesn't care about romcoms and morality, it only cares about reproduction.
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  302.  @larryrobx  no problem Larry, glad to help. Thanks!
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  303. In simple terms they reaffirm our doubts about our worthiness to be loved. So we assume if one day we receive their love and acknowledgement it will diminish or stop altogether our own self doubts about being lovable. They are nothing more than our subconscious personified.
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  304. What if they got a tight ass?
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  305.  @mentoriii3475  you said nothing but the truth with that. Its like a married woman getting implants, it's not for the husband, it's because she's looking to upgrade and replace. No different than someone putting new tires on a car they're about to sell.
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  306. ​ @clydefrog6959 nobody cares about your bloodline, get over your giant ego or get cleaned out in court. What are you 13? How many times have you visited your great grand parents graves?only 45% of people can even name their great grandparents. I'm so sick of these commenters driving for uber, or working at foot locker or buying 20 dollars worth of crypto, talking about their bloodline and leaving a " legacy" I assure you, a week after your funeral nobody will think twice about you and even if they did, who cares?
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  307.  @PARTYManagementARG  you'll never know one way or the other. That whole " good girl" myth is what gets many men because their ego deludes them into thinking women can't lie or act. How are you really going to know if she's been with 100 men or 2? You're not unless it's a small town and everyone talks.
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  308.  @PARTYManagementARG  sure, you're in for a surprise. Have you found your unicorn yet? When that sweet virgin fleeces you in divorce court you can take pride in knowing you found a good girl. You act like people don't change and what kind of ego do you have to think just because a woman might like you for a few years she won't get sick of you? Let me guess, you too are special and a unicorn. The delusional thinking is mind blowing
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  309. Bingo. Most of societies definition of selfishness is anyone not working to assist in the selfishness of others.
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  310.  @annesmith9181  we both know you will never ask a man out, so you're wanting a man to feel obligated to pay for you, but you don't feel obligated to meet his needs? We have a term for that: parasite
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  311. What sane person wants to keep them? That's like saying " if you want your car stolen, you better get an expensive one" yeah no thanks
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  312.  @LisaCulton  and if he doesn't return? Anyone can " love" a prodigal child because the conditions are being met once again through the return.
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  313. Men wouldn't lie to women, if women didn't require it. Remember, reality is not something they do well.
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  314. This doesn't explain the depression and suicide among celebrities and the wealthy.
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