Comments by "" (@modickens1272) on "THREE TIPS to deal with GOSSIP: how to survive the rumor mill" video.

  1. Excellent points. People usually don't change their opinions about someone barring something shocking or drastic, and also people in general would rather hear negative stuff about a person than positive if coming from a neutral position. People enjoy feeling superior and gossip momentarily allows that. My attitude ( and it's not easy to develop because we all can be hurt or angered by people's opinions) unless you're paying me, or sleeping with me your opinion of me is irrelevant. It's not easy to develop this because we want to operate cohesively within society, but sometimes we have to ignore emotions and apply logic. Always ask yourself " does this persons negative opinion of me have repercussions beyond hurt pride and bruised ego or reputation?" If the answer is no, and usually it is, then just say who cares. 50 years, or most likely less, we'll all be dead so other people's gossip is a blip on eternity.
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  2. My two cents. Just give people time and space, as well as that for yourself. When you try to get answers to why people are suddenly ghosting or acting weird, you'd rarely get the truth even if they responded. Relationships with people are fleeting and though nobody wants to feel alienated, if you give enough time and space between the current feelings you'll eventually find resolve. And if these people never return to your life or in the same capacity, realize its just a chapter that ended. Remember some kids in the 3rd grade that might've upset you at the time? Their memory is a distance mirage, you forged ahead and can do so with this situation. 20 years from now you might only vaguely remember the people that you fret over now. Always look forward in life
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  3.  @PussInBoot414  I understand. Ive lost many a friendship over nothing. People tend to only remember the flaws of a person versus the good. Even friendships that didn't end badly just to seem to fade away. In my experience I learned I was expecting a validation from them that I meant something or had value despite the flaws. And I learned that was pointless. Never allow someone to dictate your value based on their warped perceptions. Sure, you'll hurt and even after a year a grudge might still exist, or even longer. Hurting and being angry is normal just continue to do it in silence. People want to justify their perceptions so if you reached out and explained your feelings most likely it'd make them feel superior and that they are still in the judgment seat. I read a lot of biographies and Johnny Carson when someone shunned him or angered him cut them off, never speaking again. Bette Davis never spoke to her daughter again after the tell all book she wrote. It doesn't mean they didn't hurt it just meant they had a set of principles and stuck with them, not allowing emotions to get the best of them. When someone acts like they don't want your company see to it they don't get it unless they come with an apology. In regards to cheating, there's a saying " when a man steals your wife the greatest revenge is letting him keep her"
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