Youtube comments of (@modickens1272).

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  30. What Ive observed, based on my own experiences is a combination of things. I actually went to a female therapist once and when she asked the purpose of my visit I told her " Ive been told I'm crazy and if so, I want it in writing" I noticed after the once a week visits for two months that there were drawbacks and also insights into it. I would observe her and ask her questions occasionally and most times she would either try to avoid answering or give vague answers at best. At any rate we became intimate at some point outside the office and when I moved we remained friends occasionally writing, I learned 5 years after my encounter with her she was murdered by her only son. The drawbacks I observed was its almost impossible for either patient or doctor to remain objective. The doctor can often point out problems but only the patient can truly fix them. I also think it can lead to self absorption on the patients part, talking so much about themselves can cause them to neglect others in their orbit, and self fixation long term is never good in my opinion. The insights I came away with was aspects of my personality that was always there but I never fully saw them. Such as antisocial tendencies, paranoia, contempt for authority etc. We often tend to think our behavior or outlook is rational but sometimes it takes an outside observer to point out things we can't or don't want to see about ourselves. So therapy was good for that. I asked for tests to be administered such as IQ and personality tests to get insight into myself. I learned things from it, and though some may argue she was unethical I didn't see it that way. I think the only time it would be unethical is if the patient was unable to make their own decisions due to mental illness. This was not my case. I think men avoid therapy because it's a vulnerability, and also men tend to want to solve problems on their own. Also there is an aspect in society that people don't care about the problems of others. What's that saying " don't tell people your problems, 80% don't care and 20% are glad you're having them" women in general don't care due to evolutionary reasons. Briffaults law explains this. And most men in society are competitive with other men so subconsciously they're not going to be too interested in helping someone who is a competitor for resources and mating options. Another aspect rarely brought up is the " don't you have friends that can listen?" So just by paying a stranger they often feel like a loser in the eyes of society, the same as getting an escort. The stigma of paying to have emotional needs or physical needs gratified lingers even if on a subconscious level with society.
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  147.  @chelseyf0wler  I understand Chelsey. It does seem odd in that respect, sometimes there are clues in hindsight. Your comment caught my attention because something similar occurred to me without the ghosting aspect. I was friends with a woman for about 3 years, talked daily about everything, sometimes well into the night, 2am type stuff. Use to tell each other goodnight, etc. Sometimes we'd argue and not speak to each other for a few days, maybe a couple of weeks at the most but always ended up talking. However 6 months ago we had an argument and quit speaking to each other. Neither have reached out. Part of the reason I don't reach out is because she ended the friendship. Basically " I wish you the best, take care" so if people don't want my company I won't try to force it on them. Do I miss her? Yes, reread old messages? Yes. And yet I realize some things happen for a reason. Some people no matter how close we were to them are not meant to stay in our lives. Sometimes the closeness was one sided, meaning we valued the bond more than them. Sometimes we wondered if we did something wrong, or if they think of us. I'm sure they do. In your particular case, ( I don't know all the details) but if you never had his number or email and he deleted all his social media after you mentioned your feelings for him, then most likely it wasn't anything you did wrong. As a man, to me it sounds like he may have been married or in a relationship, but kept that hidden. Many people I know in relationships have 0 pics with their partners for this reason. They like to still get attention from the opposite sex. Once he perceived it might cause issues, he couldn't admit to being deceptive so it was easier for him to quit speaking and delete any way to communicate. People are complicated. I will say this, I promise he'll one day regret his actions. Its very rare to meet people who make us feel understood, get our humor, share secrets etc. And when a person loses that either by ghosting someone, or by ingratitude and ending the friendship over a petty squabble, rest assured they'll miss that person. We're missed even if pride or fear never allows them to say it. Time tends to heal things, one way or the other. Either they reach out in time, or we move on emotionally, but either way time will get us through.
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  393.  @arsenal4444  Thank you. Well in regards to relationship success in my own experience each age group has its own challenges. My 20s wasn't great because I was naive about many things and didn't fully understand dating/relationships. Women within that age group for the most part are extremely addicted to attention and the attention/love of one man is never sufficient usually. My early 30s were better because I was playing the field with more knowledge and didn't take them as seriously. The problems that begin to occur as one ages from 35 into the 40s is that more women will accumulate baggage. ie. Kids, divorces, exes in general. Plus women within this age group tend to start becoming more money driven. Meaning they start asking about dental plans, 401ks etc. Whereas in their 20s not so much. You seem intelligent and analytical which is good for self preservation. However, these traits will reduce the number of women seeking a relationship with you. The reason being, is it's harder to manipulate/con a man with these traits. So just as a bank robber seeks out a bank with few security guards, so will a woman trying to get the upper hand in a relationship. And they can sense which men are easier fooled. My suggestion would be just let things happen naturally, avoid marriage. A successful relationship requires a woman who loves you more than you love her, ie. Don't pursue relationships with women you're crazy about. They never work long term in my experience. And also realize relationships are optional. You can have a fulfilling life without them.
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  1004.  @LP-km7gj  I understand the thing about opinions, especially on YouTube and social media in general. Often the reason for this in my opinion, is a person's beliefs/opinions become their identity. So if an opinion or belief is challenged or scrutinized, the person will take it as a personal judgment against them. An implication so to speak that they're " dumb" " close minded " " horrible " etc. For believing as they do. And when a person feels that way, the walls come up and they become defensive. I truly believe the greatest desire a person has is to feel understood. It validates their self image and desire to matter. I know what you are saying about how any type of situation can cause potential cheating depending on the individual and scenario. I think it's more prevalent nowadays or at least more open, due to Facebook, Instagram etc. Use to in order to cheat a person was limited to who was in their proximity radius, ie. In their town. Nowadays a person could talk to someone in another country and do it. Plus, unless one went to their class reunions there was no seeing old flames, but now they can log on and chat with billy bob or betty lou from high school all day long. And cell phones make it easier than the old land lines. 😂 back then, you know something was up because they'd sit near that phone when possible and run like an athlete to answer it. Thanks for the insights. Do you think relationships in this modern era, with technology, mobility have a chance to last?I read recently where the average relationship be it marriage or bf/gf only lasts 2 years and 9 months on average.
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  1005.  @LP-km7gj  All of that makes sense. I'm glad that you have been able to maintain a long term relationship/marriage for almost 20 years. That is rare indeed. As far as your ex boyfriend cheating before cell phones and social media it's TRUE 😂 people found a way even in horse and buggy days when letter writing was the only way. I think being raised with traditional values helped shape your values indeed and that's a good thing. I'm no expert on relationships, I am 42 so I remember things as well before internet. Ive been cheated on in some relationships and I too did it when younger, now I've been with the same woman for 9 years, and we basically give each other space, sometimes take trips alone, etc. So Ive been on both sides of the issue and understand its dynamics as far as the motivations and in most cases the sexual component is only a part of it. Most of the time people do it out of a lack of emotional connection or boredom and believe it or not, on a subconscious level a fear of mortality. Wanting to still prove they're desirable and doing what makes babies so to speak as if to say " I can't be getting older , people still find me desirable " I agree with your husband about social media, I have none of it , but mainly because it's one big competition mostly. Who ate a fancier meal at the restaurant on friday night, who took the lousy vacation they're proud of, who adopted a pet goldfish or some other mundane junk. You know how it is, Lucille from 3rd shift has to take a selfie of the new hair do, Timmy from sales has to show off the fish he caught🙄 Anyhow it's all fascinating how people tick and what makes them tick.
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