Comments by "Ficus-lovin\x27 Capybara N\x27 pals • 🌟 • 25 yrs ago" (@YourCapybaraAmigo_17yrsago) on "I read an estranged mom's manifesto" video.

Doormat Mom????
4
I mean but who would do that for no reason?? There's got to be some kind of a reason. Maybe not a reason you agree with or support, but a logical reason nonetheless. I'm sorry for any case when this happens but unless a person is truly unwell, there's got to be some kind of a reason and I highly doubt it just came out of nowhere. A parent in this case who claims zero responsibility for or knowledge of the adult child's position I would find very suspect.
4
I 100% agree. Any normal healthy person wants closeness and love not distance. In the vast majority of cases I am certain that there was a serious reason an adult child chooses to pull away. I guarantee this was nowhere near their first choice or what they would truly want if they felt they had a real choice.
3
Right. The mother doesn't have to embrace the religion but she does have to respect her adult child's right to seek that part of herself, if that's what she feels drawn to. It's not a personal slight against the mother just because she feels that her path lies in a different belief system.
3
Thank you for telling me about it. I feel I've lived it. I'll definitely have to read it and see if it validates my own experiences. I suspect it will.
2
I don't mind her having her own opinions- we all have the right to our own feelings and opinions, but to call oneself an "expert" on such broad topics is really the height of conceit and rather hilarious lack of self-awareness.
2
Preach! tell me about it! Especially Fox mg. I won't say I've never heard anything that I agreed with from Dr Phil but yes he's definitely got more suspect over the years.
2
Anytime someone feels the need to seek an abundance of public validation over how deeply they've been wronged by their adult children I see an immediate crimson red flag. Regardless of your dispute with your family members, unless you are the victim of legitimate serious abuse including SA, I see no reason for you ever to go public with personal family grievances, especially as a parent. That immediately makes me feel you are disingenuous, selfish, and possibly very emotionally immature. What do you need the public's validation for, I would ask? I'm not talking in general; I'm talking in regards to private family matters. If you generally want to seek a positive or loving resolution to your issues, wouldn't you seek that privately with your family member, and then regardless of the outcome, leave it where it belongs, between the two of you? Why are you using your big mean family member to garner sympathy??, I think is a fair question to ask. She's literally saying "poor me poor me- I'm such a victim! feel sorry for me! I am standing up against my mean mean daughter, look at me! parents unite! We have been oppressed for too long! our kids don't appreciate us; aren't they rotten!?!?" Look; every person is going to have their side and their version of a dispute and their reasons for grievances, but c'mon, I don't want to be unfair to either side but give me a break! What fully grown adult woman (or man) wants to say this to the world in regards to their growing or adult children? If you have any desire whatsoever to besmirch the reputation of your offspring, I think that you are borderline unwell and need to do a lot of work on yourself. That is petty, juvenile and selfish and has no place in a loving mature adult relationship in my eyes. If you have serious resentment for any reason against your adult children, I'm willing to bet that you are NOT willing to admit any fault whatsoever regarding past points of difference, and don't have nearly the amount of love, respect, and honor towards them that you think you do. A healthy relationship does not have long simmering resentments IMO because both parties truly value, love and respect the viewpoints and well-being of the other and will do the work necessary to work through what issues might exist. I have a hard time feeling any resentment from parent(s) toward child are justified; a very hard time. Life is very complex though and I'm sure there are some limited cases when I would. But in general I tend to immediately feel my guard going up when I hear that a parent or parents feels "justified" resentment towards their otherwise responsible adult child.
1
It's fine to be happy for a boy but they should be able to find it within themselves to love you no matter who you are or how you present to the world. I'm sorry that they're so deep in their religious judgement they don't know how to love you for who you are. Practically speaking they have no right to keep you from removing your belongings. You can go to the police and tell them that you're being prevented from accessing your property and ask for an escort; they'll go with you. Preventing someone from accessing their own property is the same as stealing it. You might have to go to court and request a court order for access but they have to let you retrieve what is rightfully yours- otherwise it's wrongful keeping or wrongful taking. It can't hurt to request a police escort if you think there's a possibility anyone in the home might cause a problem for you while you're there. Shame on these people for being so cold-hearted. Religion is often just a cover for those who hate and can't love. It's the exact opposite of what Jesus taught. There's nothing you're doing that's wrong that they're judging on; they're choosing to reject who you ARE and that's wrong. Perhaps in time they can change ... even a small movement would be a step forward. No matter what happens never doubt your own value and always give yourself love first and foremost! This is very crucial. If there is a God up there I can't believe that they love anyone any different regardless of what gender or identity they present. I would find that very hard to believe.
1
Wow sorry to hear that, sounds like textbook narcissism. You were literally a child and then an adolescent. Unless you tried to kill her in her sleep she has no right to feel you did something to her. It's like she never grew up. God it's so maddening and sad. I can't stand adults that never grew out of emotional immaturity. I understand she might have her own damage but come on- we have to take some responsibility too.
1
Yeah I def agree....
1
Good points.
1
@eggbotheidiot I'm so sorry you went through any of that. That is shameful. I think your mother is a complete psychopath for that. If what you say is true she was complicit in child SA. That should be listed as a serious crime and they both deserve prison as far as I'm concerned.
1
 @delia_watercolors Jesus christ - some people are absolute monsters. That's okay, I believe judgment comes for us all.
1