Comments by "" (@budbas) on "PsycHacks" channel.

 @jerryjessup9192 You do cut-loss when you pick a stock wrong. The same concept applies here.
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Be an observer of your emotion. Understand why it feels hurt or happy. Do not sway away of it and do not reject it. Understand it.
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 @agentm83 correct. And most of them are not our "first choice" as well. That would be okay, as in the end, all of us get what fits for us, not what we wanted.
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Doesn't matter how much money they have, how good and tall they are, how polite and manner they are, If there is no quality girls on the market, then there is no quality girls to mate for them. period. Men are looking for other market where the quality girls is there, and then perhaps try to make a bargain.
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In my brotherhood, there are only two types of women, wifey material and not. It is free to pick which one to go after, but don't expect one type turned into another. That's delusional for men.
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My father advice is that everyone is bandit until they prove otherwise. He started his own business that make us in the range of top 5% income family. He always push me to learn that I got my mba then told me to work somewhere else, not at his company. However, his advise makes me fake my appearance to the girls that I have met so I can learn them without the distraction of money. I ended up with friend of my friend that we're just match. I can understand her and she can understand me. We're married when we're 28. It was 20 years ago and we still happy. Money is uncertain. Beauty fades. But the person I married is the person that knows me and take me as I am. That brings peace of mind for me.
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8:35 , it might be true if sexual attractiveness is the intention for building relationship. And that would bring us the question of what is the initial intention for building a relationship. For me, what I found is, after 20 years of marriage, she is still have comparable status, since she becoming much better mother for our children. The center of gravity of our relationship shift slowly from me/her, to our children, as time passes by. And that is what I foresee long time ago before I get married, by looking at my parents relationship as an example.
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Walk away. There is nothing you can do when her mind is full of emotion. Wait until her logic returns, then start talking as adults.
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Why would you ask for apologies?. You made a mistake to her?. I guess by texting her to break, you just do not want to fight the argument and live in peace.
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Yep. If it only for a sex then just pay prostitute.
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You are a good women.
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 @malachi405 You explained it very well. Thank you.
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True. Stay cold and logical.
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I'm 10/10 deserved no less.
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For me, it is much easier to ignore her at all. Not just her behavior. Then left her for the day. Once I come home, her logic is returned, then we talk as adults. Our problems are always solved that way.
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Flock of feather flies together. When looking for a women, the key is to find a woman in the right flock, and get introduced to their friends.
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Man built the house, Women built the home. There's time the house need to be expanded for home to be vibrant. And there is a time the home getting quiet that the house is spooky. That was I was doing along our 20 years of marriage. I set up the guidance and goals, and she explore what can be improved on it.
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I was rejecting my true love for my pride. About two and half decades ago in my early 20, I like a girl, my classmate in college. For about a year we do and studying together as friend, and slowly we're getting close, then I fall in love with her. Until one time I put all my courage and told her that I love her, but then she reject me without any further explanation. About weeks later, it is she that ask me if I still love her and ask for relationship, and I say no also without any further explanation. Then I go out of that room leaving her alone. After that we slowly make a distance to each other and just be a friend. For years I and she still can feel that hurt, but I still going to her marriage and she attend mine. I am opt to choose my pride over my love. And I should thank her for that. That's contribute to make me a man as I am - once the decision has been made, nothing can change it. The feel was so strong. I never have a feel to fall in love like that again, even after two decades of marriage with my wife.
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I didn't grow up hearing that claim. But I grew up hearing the code that men are valued based on three things: Titles, Women, and Money. My father only had a bachelor's degree, so I got a master's degree. My wife is a better woman than my mom because our children are better than me at their age. Among the three, only Money that I haven't beat him. Then I can fulfill his wish that I be a better man than him. In my opinion, sure there is sexual pressure that men have to be the earner. But there is also social pressure from its own gender.
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Rivers and mountains are easy to be moved, but it is much harder to change one's nature. -- Chinese proverb Isn't this the reason why they are still single at 30+ ?
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@MasculinityUnleashed-q6f Agree. Man strong in logic while women strong in emotion. Logical is rooted in the Greek word logos, which means "reason, idea, or word." It means based on reason. Emotion is derived from the Latin word "Emovere" which means to stir the sentiments. It is part of state of mind. The structure is built based on reason. Then to make the structure better, you can paint it by any color of emotion. No color can be painted if there is no structure. The paint is just spoiled everywhere in chaotic manners.
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@psychacks Thanks for your great explanation, Dr. Orion. I am male, 47. I am not quite sure about pro-social, duty-conscious and responsibility-oriented, but I think all good men have these qualities and I fulfill it as a husband, father, man and lately as a businessmen. When it comes to delaying gratification, I am not so much. I mean, letting me run and grow my business is fulfilling for me. I could buy some sports car if necessary, but I don't think it would be useful. However, what has happened lately is that I want a baby. Yes. Sounds strange and ridiculous for sure. But memories of my children when they were babies and growing into toddlers and then children, their laughter, their cuteness, come to mind these days. If I am indeed having a midlife crisis, is it normal for men to want to have babies? especially on my age that too young to be a grandfather but too old to be a father?
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Logical and manners matters. What you think about you is your business. What they think about you is not your business. Keep going, mate..
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@TheJosmanboth should please the other. is disgusting to say otherwise..
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And now men in their 30 and above, hear and follow their brothers to pursue women in their 20's. This is a transition period that skewed the dating dynamics resulting men in 20 will have no advantage as men in 30+ also target younger women at 20. However, the transition is good that in future, men will start to date and marry after 30, giving them more time to learn, explore the world or set up their business than to hurry setting up the family.
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My twins son is 19. I have to give them money to go dating since I am afraid they are gay. But after my money runs out, they broke the girl. They told my wife that dating isn't worth it by their own money. If dad's money, it's okay. You said 25 yo has so much mileage. I guess the 18 yo girl my son dates has the same characteristics with that. That perhaps makes him "ick", and prefers doing something else than dating. We nurture our kids in conservative religious manner.
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@BunyipDude interesting. How would you define the wall? I think men have no wall as they can still make babies even at 70s. Women on the other hand, cannot or risk too much to have babies after 40.
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It is not men don't have energy. It is because their energy put in laser focus to grow business or career or anything else. Women is secondary if not tertiary. Not important anymore.
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@thedualtransition6070 Thank you 🙏. I started following this kind of topic months ago when my twin son was 18 to learn their world so can help to oversee them. But, just to project 10 years when they'll be ready to set their own family worries me a lot. Really have no idea what world they'll live in by the next 15-20 years.
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@zphzrhzraefoiaj4974 Where is Jordan Peterson says that?. I should missed it, apparently. Yes. The golden age is not just for kids to grow, but for their parents experience too. I missed it much.
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"Fear in approaching women, in responding to female emotionality, and in assuming leadership". I am no longer in the dating market, and have never been in the hookup culture. I wonder if I am not one of those three fears. However, if I look back at my 20s, it was my fear of losing my pride and honor that held me back from engaging with women. Among my peers, my woman is a representation of myself. My image and my pride is on her. When I took her into my brotherhood, I expect a salute from my bro for her beauty, manners, intelligence, etc. When it comes to home, my dad told me that a man is measured by three things and he made me promise that I must be better than him: Title, Women, and Money. There was only one woman I dare to bring home, and that is the girl that become my wife now. Now, years after I chose my woman, I am still in the process of fulfilling my promise to my dad. I got a master's degree while he only graduated. I got a better woman than my mother (my father's woman of course) proving that my children are much better than me at their age. Only the money I have not exceeded him until now. Without her, I couldn't be a better man and fulfill my promises. Of course, I could have freely chosen my woman years ago, but that would have made me unworthy.
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I feel like a smashed pastrami down there right now.. 🐵
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Your content is very good based on science in psychology. Why would someone hate your content ?
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@manifest2203 It is what it is. Women becoming less important for men nowadays.
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In analogy of the car -- Owning the car is not our goal. Our goal is to go on journey around the world driving the car to see Pyramid of Giza or the Great Wall. Then at the end of journey, we will happily claim that we do the journey with that car. So bid the price for a car but know that owning it is not our goal, else we will feel that the car is overpriced.
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