Comments by "Painkiller Jones" (@painkillerjones6232) on "The Onion" channel.

  1. I'm not sure some of those kids were "acting"....
    149
  2. You get more sleaze with the "Cheese"!!!
    67
  3. Same here, except he busted me for the weed. Luckily, he's also a damn good lawyer!!!
    35
  4. "Dammit, Jim, I'm just a doctor, not a Porn Star!!!" "Don't worry, Bones, I got this!!!...And I'm also a doctor!"
    20
  5. I think it would have done her in. Then there's the "Superman" aspect...
    13
  6. The old, reliable VCR!!! That's the way to go!!
    11
  7. "The MSM that tried to take over the world" is another good read.
    9
  8. Bullshit. I've seen inside of my mind...The horror... The HORROR!!!!!
    9
  9. I had an excuse, I was too fucked up to even find the globe!!
    8
  10. Yea, cig's were 50 cents a pack, gas a buck, and an ounce of weed was also 40 bucks, but it was Mexican...
    8
  11. I know the feeling.
    7
  12. You mean CNN
    6
  13. Getting an early start is always a good thing!!! Pass the bottle, it's 8am and junior is thirsty!!
    6
  14. We need more "Awesomeness" in our courts!!! The death penalty ROCKS!!!!
    6
  15. What about the ending? Kenyans!! HAHAHAA!!
    5
  16. I think in today's economy $160 is reasonable.
    5
  17. Fox news is factual, as opposed to CNN or MSNBC.
    5
  18. You do know Epstein's suicide was also fake, don't you?
    5
  19. @Art account IT Oh, and running through north St. Louis with a clear plastic bag full of cash is an excellent way to lose weight!!
    4
  20. He was found guilty in a court of law, you sniveling weasel!!!!!!!
    4
  21.  @optforthyname3800  I AM on top of the world!!! And so is the heterosexual community!!!!
    4
  22. @Art account IT Scream "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE"!!!! At a bunch of cops, be the only white man at a black gay bar, hop on a bikers Harley and make engine noises, run through north St. Louis with a clear plastic bag filled with cash.......
    3
  23. I'm surprised this episode hasn't been "censored" by the left.
    3
  24. Unless he had sex with her after the murder, it's only a misdemeanor.
    3
  25.  @StevenSendak  No, they're not.
    3
  26.  @optforthyname3800  No, that's not it....keep trying.
    3
  27.  @southrules  Filthy liberal.
    3
  28. It is.
    3
  29. To be honest, if you were on the fence about drinking, go to an AA meeting. You will sure as hell need a drink afterwards!!!
    3
  30. Well, the way MY sex life is going these days, 1 box might do it....
    3
  31. Well, in 2020, the democrats have opted for the most "brain dead" candidate. Their "Evil" one lost in 2016....
    3
  32.  @tweetiepie551  True!
    2
  33. The lawyers said "NO", it would be like turning off life support.
    2
  34.  @jakes7342  Good point!!
    2
  35. In my youth, I was able to put away large deluxe pizza's on a regular basis!!
    2
  36. They'll settle for some meth and crack.
    2
  37. Raped to DEATH!!!
    2
  38. @Fire Heart What about the Ostrich?
    2
  39. Keeps the little bastards out of trouble.
    2
  40. At least she wasn't raised by Fredo or Cooper!!!
    2
  41.  @christobanistan8887  Don't BARK threats at Aymii!!
    1
  42.  @TimSlee1  Obama sure as hell didn't want to.
    1
  43.  @rawtrout007  Look at the choices he's made since....
    1
  44. They still haven't found him.
    1
  45.  @tchoythao1730  It's about damn time!!!
    1
  46. No shit!!
    1
  47. We need more of this in real life!!
    1
  48.  @yaho5785  Sure I do!!!
    1
  49. Get as many members of the media to take a test drive as you possibly can!!!!
    1
  50. There's a time to kill, and there's a time for unrecognizable mutilation.
    1
  51. Hate to say it, but this is our future.
    1
  52. Realistic!!
    1
  53. >Flamingos
    1
  54.  @DolceVita  I never did. Well, maybe once.
    1
  55. Sounds like they mistook Trump for Ginsburg!! How is the "Ginsburg" these days? Have they "FeBreezed" it, and changed out the batteries as needed?
    1
  56.  @juch3  Your comment offends me.
    1
  57.  @magica3526  Freak
    1
  58. Kind of like being a white Republican in any inner city.
    1
  59. That would be a good thing!!
    1
  60. It's almost like listening to a democrat argue their point.
    1
  61. i can live with that!
    1
  62. A "Back to the Future" re-boot should be the final nail in Hollywood's coffin!
    1
  63. The opposite of a black man.
    1
  64. No, that would be CNN.
    1
  65. Every journalist should test drive one!! Every liberal should own one!!!
    1
  66.  @traskforge  I don't have to, I'm living the dream!!!
    1
  67.  @traskforge  Not possible..I'm a fucking MACHINE!!!
    1
  68.  @isaacgojiberry  You do
    1
  69. Baked improperly, they release a virus that makes COVID look like a sniffle!
    1
  70. How do they explain Lindsey Lohan?
    1
  71. So, he likes to lick "Blades" eh?
    1
  72. I think this guy is the son of the late, great Les Nessman!!!
    1
  73. McDonald's still posting pictures of anyone who can finish a Big Mac on the Wall of Fame!!
    1
  74.  David Yorkshire  YES!!!
    1
  75. Putin's in trouble!!
    1
  76. We need a wall there...
    1
  77. Life the way it should be!!!!!
    1
  78. "Danny is not my true name"...
    1
  79. "Fun list of people who died under the "Busch" administration needs to be replaced with "Clinton".
    1
  80. Brought to you by the Democratic National Committee.
    1
  81. This should apply to the far left, ANTIFA, muslims and that guy down the street. Fucker thinks he knows everything.
    1
  82. @bundycamp No one pulled your filthy libtard chain, boy.
    1
  83.  @cthulhuaid2998  Too late. He's dead.
    1
  84. "But I guess that wasn't clear enough"!!!!!!
    1
  85. 2:00 - got news for you, he gave up acting long ago....
    1
  86. Lived in Kentucky for 2 years, never saw a black person.
    1
  87. I'm still wondering how paranoid politicians are about THEIR jobs, which should be the first to be taken over by AI.
    1