Comments by "" (@benjaminaltman4895) on "Charisma on Command"
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Hey Bananenbauer123! I completely agree, sometimes the best conversations are about the meaning of life, morality, etc. What I was trying to get across with my last point wasn't to avoid those topics, but to filter for people who also enjoy those topics!
And for people who don't, filter them out, or find what they enjoy speaking about, rather than trying to force them into a topic they might not enjoy. Not that you have to do this, just that it might lead to being interrupted if you were to try to pick the same topic with every person you meet.
Because if you like the universe, and they like the universe, then it WILL be an enjoyable conversation for all involved :-)
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It's interesting, recently I've actually been working on raising the pitch of my voice a bit when out so that it carries more through ambient noise. That said, for a deeper voice, I think things like relaxing your jaw, relaxing your chest/back/abs/low back, basically creating less tension, that seems to help. Relaxing, speaking more slowly. If you get tense or speak really quickly, your voice will rise in pitch, so I'm just assuming the opposite is true. I've worked a TON on getting healthy vocal mechanics and getting my voice to carry, but not a lot on depth, so hopefully that's helpful but beyond that I'd say give it a google.
Also personally I think that unless you sound like Mickey Mouse, your voice pitch doesn't really matter. Charlie has a voice that is on the higher side of things, and is one of the most persuasive, charming, funny people I know. I think there are much more important aspects like conviction, body language, etc. that will have a more positive impact on your charisma than trying to change your voice pitch :-)
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Do stuff that you enjoy or that's centered around what you enjoy, and also wear what you like on your sleeve and bring it up in conversation. For example, I love to surf. I'm in California and whenever anyone brings up living near a good surf beach I will ask "Oh, do you surf?!" I've made a few friends that way. Also going to meetups or events centered around what you like (whether it's yoga, meditation, sports, video games, reading certain books, etc.). If that doesn't exist, start one. We co-founded the New York Personal Development Meetup with a friend and ended up with 100+ people attending who shared our interests. You can also join clubs or teams.
Shared interests are a great way to connect, and if you follow that plan then your worst case scenario is you're doing something you enjoy and meeting people who also enjoy it.
Hope that helps!
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Alan Arjona thanks Alan!
It’s all from books, papers, videos, and self experimentation. Dale Carnegie, Cialdini, etc. For this video it comes from Tim Ferriss, John Romaniello, Dr Rhonda Patrick, plus my own work with my doctor.
I think the key to learning is to study other people, take the best of it , mix it up, experiment with I️t, and eventually start to add on top of it with your own lessons learned and experience
Hope that helps!
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