Comments by "Piccalilli Pit" (@piccalillipit9211) on "Joe Scott"
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AS SOMEONE WHO WORKED WITH the victims of narcissistic abuse - it has ALL the hallmarks of a victim escaping an abuser.
This is exactly how the victims of severe abuse behave for the first 6 months to 3 years after escaping their abuser. They live out of suitcases, they travel constantly to avoid being followed by the abuser, they keep coded notes of facts - partly to prove their sanity, partly to prove they are being stalked if they are, they have very poor personal hygiene, they have several badly constructed identities, they have crude disguises, they buy shoes - as the first step in their rehabilitation - its always shoes, they have sleeping tablets, they tend to OD unintentionally and intentionally on sleeping tablets, and the final thing...
Narcissists have a habit of setting their victims on fire!
I have two clients that have been set on fire. Narcissists also have a habit of drugging their victims, I have hundreds this has happened to.
For me, the similarities are astounding. I talk with people living like this every day of the week. I think her abuser caught up with her...
EDIT - cutting labels out of clothing - Narc abuse victims do this as well. they are financially controlled by their abusers so they cut the labels out of clothing to disguise that they have spent money on clothing. They then usually say they got them at a second-hand shop.
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@bjarneesphagen2303 - You have to understand how narcissistic abuse works. It is a psychological abuse. It de natures the person. It removes their identity and their - everything. They become an empty shells. They will even forget what they like, what music they like, even what food they like, what clothes they like. they buy what the narcissist likes them to buy.
They are prisoners in a psychological prison. As such they become afraid of strangers, of the outside, of new shops. They are ashamed of their body and how they look - the narcissist constantly tells them how ugly they are how fat they are, they lose all self-confidence, they even lose the concept there is something TO be confident about. this is also why they stop washing - although poor personal hygiene is associated with most mental illnesses.
Shoes have several advantages as a gateway back to reality and a normal life.
1) Most women like shoes
2) Shoes are very personal, they have shoes they like and shoes they dont - its a trigger back to their own style
3) Trying on shoes does NOT require undressing - they hate their bodies and they dont want others looking at their body too closely
4) It limits the time in a shop - if you get a panic attack in a shop half way through trying on a new dress - you cant just run out of the shop cos you have the dress on
5) Your shoe size does not change - if you are now a size 14 when you used to be an 8 that is a MASSIVE depressive factor. If you are a 4 in shoes you are a 4, so there is no rish associated with is.
Shoes are pretty much the first few new purchases a woman makes after escaping a narcissist. I should just mention men do become victims of female narcissists as well, but very few feel the need to actually vanish, they are at much less risk of physical violence and much greater risk of false accusations being made to the police so vanishing is usually a bad idea for a make victim.
I hope this is helpful.
EDIT: You mentioned money - the majority of victims of narcissistic abuse are NOT penniless, at least not when the abuse starts - though they make be bankrupt by the abuser. Part of the reason for them being targeted is often they have considerable financial resources. But over the course of 5, 10, 20 years they no longer dear spend any money on themselves - only on the abuser.
I work for free because many victims are literally penniless by the end. But this is by no means, everyone.
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my sister was an agro economist for the world bank - the problem is all world grain commodities are owned by just 3 companies who are currently withholding grain to force prices higher, using the Ukraine war as an excuse.
QUOTE " "The major traders, Archer Daniels Midland (ADM), Bunge, Cargill and Louis Dreyfus, collectively known as the ABCD traders, share a significant presence in a range of basic commodities, controlling, for example, as much as 90 per cent of the global grain trade."
this is about profiteering, this is not a conspiracy, she wrote report after report on this in her time with the WB.
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