Comments by "Piccalilli Pit" (@piccalillipit9211) on "The Isdal Woman: Europe's Most Famous Unidentified Person | Answers With Joe" video.

AS SOMEONE WHO WORKED WITH the victims of narcissistic abuse - it has ALL the hallmarks of a victim escaping an abuser. This is exactly how the victims of severe abuse behave for the first 6 months to 3 years after escaping their abuser. They live out of suitcases, they travel constantly to avoid being followed by the abuser, they keep coded notes of facts - partly to prove their sanity, partly to prove they are being stalked if they are, they have very poor personal hygiene, they have several badly constructed identities, they have crude disguises, they buy shoes - as the first step in their rehabilitation - its always shoes, they have sleeping tablets, they tend to OD unintentionally and intentionally on sleeping tablets, and the final thing... Narcissists have a habit of setting their victims on fire! I have two clients that have been set on fire. Narcissists also have a habit of drugging their victims, I have hundreds this has happened to. For me, the similarities are astounding. I talk with people living like this every day of the week. I think her abuser caught up with her... EDIT - cutting labels out of clothing - Narc abuse victims do this as well. they are financially controlled by their abusers so they cut the labels out of clothing to disguise that they have spent money on clothing. They then usually say they got them at a second-hand shop.
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@lj7169 - NOPE - wrong. sorry. Narc abuse victims do this as well. they are financially controlled by their abusers so they cut the labels out of clothing to disguise that they have spent money on clothing, this will get them beaten or otherwise abused. They then usually say they got them at a second-hand shop. I actually wrote 3 books on narcissistic abuse and recovery, that's my profession.
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@johnmccarron7066 - Do you know what is the thing that swings it for me. The terrible personal hygiene. I live in Bulgaria now, people here didn't smell bad in 1970. No matter how backwards the country - their spies did not smell... Day 2 of my abuse recovery program is "Get a shower" - no kidding. And it can take many days before they can build up to getting a shower. for many reasons it goes out the window in abuse victims - and they kinda know they smell so they use lots of perfume. Its just a theory. OH yeah, and in 1970 NO ONE would have thought of abuse victim as a "thing"
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@nox5555 - Actually, it is usually the victim that has the money. It's partly WHY they are the victim. In 8 out of 10 cases the victim has substantial financial means and the abuser is using them to fund their life; this is often the literal reason they were selected as a victim. Narcissistic abuse is not drunken domestic abuse, it is high level systematic and calculated, it takes place over years, slowly denaturing the victim.
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@maszlagma - Oh you are very welcome - there are thousands of women living like this right now in every country. There are never any statistics on it as they are avoiding any official channels and using fake names. I was talking with one last week - 72 years old - 40+ years of abuse and she was getting on a flight with her pets and the clothes on her back, out of California to a new life in some other part of the USA.
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There is one final thing that rings true as well - it's difficult to get someone to take 50 tablets against their wishes - NOT if they are the victim of abuse and the abuser has just caught up with them. Given the tablets and the option of going back to the abuse - they will take the tablets willingly.
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@juliakus7958 - Thank you - I just said exactly the same "Oh I got it at the 2nd hand shop for £1.50"
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@bjarneesphagen2303 - You have to understand how narcissistic abuse works. It is a psychological abuse. It de natures the person. It removes their identity and their - everything. They become an empty shells. They will even forget what they like, what music they like, even what food they like, what clothes they like. they buy what the narcissist likes them to buy. They are prisoners in a psychological prison. As such they become afraid of strangers, of the outside, of new shops. They are ashamed of their body and how they look - the narcissist constantly tells them how ugly they are how fat they are, they lose all self-confidence, they even lose the concept there is something TO be confident about. this is also why they stop washing - although poor personal hygiene is associated with most mental illnesses. Shoes have several advantages as a gateway back to reality and a normal life. 1) Most women like shoes 2) Shoes are very personal, they have shoes they like and shoes they dont - its a trigger back to their own style 3) Trying on shoes does NOT require undressing - they hate their bodies and they dont want others looking at their body too closely 4) It limits the time in a shop - if you get a panic attack in a shop half way through trying on a new dress - you cant just run out of the shop cos you have the dress on 5) Your shoe size does not change - if you are now a size 14 when you used to be an 8 that is a MASSIVE depressive factor. If you are a 4 in shoes you are a 4, so there is no rish associated with is. Shoes are pretty much the first few new purchases a woman makes after escaping a narcissist. I should just mention men do become victims of female narcissists as well, but very few feel the need to actually vanish, they are at much less risk of physical violence and much greater risk of false accusations being made to the police so vanishing is usually a bad idea for a make victim. I hope this is helpful. EDIT: You mentioned money - the majority of victims of narcissistic abuse are NOT penniless, at least not when the abuse starts - though they make be bankrupt by the abuser. Part of the reason for them being targeted is often they have considerable financial resources. But over the course of 5, 10, 20 years they no longer dear spend any money on themselves - only on the abuser. I work for free because many victims are literally penniless by the end. But this is by no means, everyone.
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@ilarious5729 - That is a possibility yes. Im not familiar with that one. I don't think its used not. But yeah, they can develop wicked tollerances.
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@bjarneesphagen2303 - I'm an author on psychology specialising in narcissism and recovery from narcissistic abuse. And I work for free helping people recover from narcissistic abuse. If you read through the comments you will find a few from the victims of narcissists who confirm how accurate my assertions are. And OF COURSE, IT SIMILAR - I would not have commented had it been different would I - DOH. "AS SOMEONE WHO WORKED WITH the victims of narcissistic abuse and this has no similarities at all" is not exactly a relevant comment is it...??? Why would I write a comment if there was not a striking similarity?
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@seattlegrrlie - The paranoia and the not quite together attempts to be clever and on top of things will also likely ring a bell with you as well I would imagine. That losing it but got to keep on top of things as best you can. Pleased you are now sorted BTW.
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@epigenetics9798 - NO. I just have the self-respect and dignity not to pander to the demands of rude people on the internet. And as I work with abuse victims, it is important to set an example that they don't have to either. This conversation is over. Goodbye.
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@bjarneesphagen2303 As I said in one of my previous comments " there are thousands of women living like this right now in every country. There are never any statistics on it as they are avoiding any official channels and using fake names" It is by its very nature a hidden problem. Probably the best indicator of the scale of the problem is the new anti cohesion law in the UK, which specifically targets narcissistic abuse. It has reached a point where the right wing government of the UK has felt the need to legislate against it. There are over 2,000 books on the subject on Amazon, several of which I have written, but that should also give you some idea of the scale of the problem in the modern world. And especially in America. America is the narcissism epicentre of the world.
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@bulletsfordinner8307 - I absolutely believe you. The stories I hear of the freak show of things they do and the years that will stalk you for... Im super pleased you got free!!!
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@epigenetics9798 Well you insulted me and called my logic bad so I hardly feel I have to explain to you why bad hygiene...
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@Amccordford - Yep. People have accused me of just writing a list of the things Joe said. I have not, its just the similarity was astonishing.
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