Comments by "Piccalilli Pit" (@piccalillipit9211) on "How to Transform Yourself in Solitude | Useful Ways to Spend Time Alone" video.

  1. Im an author - I wrote this recently for my next book: LONELINESS ‘Loneliness is not the lack of company in one’s life. It is the lack of meaning in one’s life. People merely distract us from ourselves.’ [Redacted] People distract us from the lack of meaning in our life. They entertain us, they annoy us, they make us laugh, most of all they distract us. They distract us from the emptiness inside of us. The absence of people in life does not make us lonely. The awareness of our own emptiness is what makes us lonely. If we fill that void with meaning, with purpose, with life, we will never be lonely. We can take the company of good people. We can walk away from toxic people, not needing their company, not exposing our happiness to their pollutants in order to not feel alone. When we feel bad about ourselves, when we have low self-esteem, when we have a lack of meaning in our lives, when we don't know who we are; we are desperate to be distracted from ourselves and made feel happy. Even if that ‘happy’ is just not feeling bad about ourselves. Often it’s better to be annoyed by someone else than depressed about ourselves. This is why people getting out of abusive relationships are notorious for jumping straight back into obviously unsuitable relationships. A friend of mine in Utah, America, just told me a story of two friends. Both recently out of abusive relationships, both getting married again to people they have been dating for less than three months. One of them openly admits the partner they are marrying is financially abusive and takes advantage of them. But being taken advantage of financially, and all the misery that brings, is better to a lot of people than sitting alone and feeling empty and without purpose. It is better than feeling ‘lonely’. And it’s a quick fix to find an unsuitable partner. A lot quicker than filling your life with purpose and meaning. With the added advantage you can blame the partner for all the problems and misery in your life. So, as long as you don't actually care about your happiness, it’s a real ‘win - win’. But assuming you do care about your long-term happiness, well it’s probably best to find some meaning in life. People with rich, fulfilling lives, full of meaning and purpose are never lonely, neither do they shun company, but they are equanimous. They can take it or leave it. They can appreciate the benefits, the joy even, of being alone. They can appreciate the beauty of silence.
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  2. LONELINESS by me... ‘Loneliness is not the lack of company in one’s life. It is the lack of meaning in one’s life. People merely distract us from ourselves.’ [redacted] People distract us from the lack of meaning in our life. They entertain us, they annoy us, they make us laugh, most of all they distract us. They distract us from the emptiness inside of us. The absence of people in life does not make us lonely. The awareness of our own emptiness is what makes us lonely. If we fill that void with meaning, with purpose, with life, we will never be lonely. We can take the company of good people. We can walk away from toxic people, not needing their company, not exposing our happiness to their pollutants in order to not feel alone. When we feel bad about ourselves, when we have low self-esteem, when we have a lack of meaning in our lives, when we don't know who we are; we are desperate to be distracted from ourselves and made feel happy. Even if that ‘happy’ is just not feeling bad about ourselves. Often it’s better to be annoyed by someone else than depressed about ourselves. This is why people getting out of abusive relationships are notorious for jumping straight back into obviously unsuitable relationships. A friend of mine in Utah, America, just told me a story of two friends. Both recently out of abusive relationships, both getting married again to people they have been dating for less than three months. One of them openly admits the partner they are marrying is financially abusive and takes advantage of them. But being taken advantage of financially, and all the misery that brings, is better to a lot of people than sitting alone and feeling empty and without purpose. It is better than feeling ‘lonely’. And it’s a quick fix to find an unsuitable partner. A lot quicker than filling your life with purpose and meaning. With the added advantage you can blame the partner for all the problems and misery in your life. So, as long as you don't actually care about your happiness, it’s a real ‘win - win’. But assuming you do care about your long-term happiness, well it’s probably best to find some meaning in life. People with rich, fulfilling lives, full of meaning and purpose are never lonely, neither do they shun company, but they are equanimous. They can take it or leave it. They can appreciate the benefits, the joy even, of being alone. They can appreciate the beauty of silence.
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