Comments by "okbuddy" (@amitdesikar) on "How high are the requirements for getting a wife in rural China! Can you meet the requirements" video.

This story is basically a dramatic representation, but it's not that far fetched from reality. I knew a girl who was forced to split up with her boyfriend even though she was pregnant with his child because of her greedy parents crazy dowry demands. After that they basically sold her to another man. The marriage soon ended up in divorce. So she ended up with a new born baby that belonged to her x boyfriend, without any support from anyone. The huge dowry that her trash parents collected from that not a single rmb was given back to the guy and neither was it given to their own daughter who was financially broke and had to now take care of a new born all by herself with no help from anyone. It's absolutely shocking how all this is tolerated or even legal...
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@caithyagyu3066 For marriage it's compulsory to possess a document called hukou. Without it it's not possible to get married. Every family has one and as it's a very important document usually the parents keep it with them. So unless the girls parents give her this document she can't get married legally speaking. So it's not just greed of parents and their entire family but also legally not possible.
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That's true, but I guess in most societies it's the same. Somehow such nonsense about face saving only applies to crazy negative things, but you never hear people getting their daughters better educated to save face. Hope society can ditch such dumb practices.
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@noerodriguez9047 guys need to pay because the girls are young.... are you sure you are talking about marriage ?
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Why be nice when rather than treating the event as a joyous event, it's rather treated like a great opportunity to swindle the guys money... He can simply be divorced later and not a penny will be returned to him...
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That's not easy to get and also the knowledge about how to get is also not widely available. Procedures and eligibility also varies from state to state. Even today most people think the only way to get hukou is to buy their own house, so practically speaking majority of the young generation are still stuck to their parents crazy demands. If they were truly free then they would not face such problems in the first place and would just get married without the need of their parents approval.
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@BenHifni you are right. But the tradition is not the problem, it's greed that's the problem. It's not caring if the grooms family goes broke, that's the problem. If symbolic token amounts which are small were asked then you would see everyone happy, but greed has basically poisoned this custom and basically it's high time it be banned.
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@sen7167 it's each countries own tradition. Nothing wrong in man paying or women paying, as long as the dowry is just a symbolic affordable figure that doesn't cause suffering to anyone. It's only when people become greedy and show no care for others is what the problem is..
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@natashadickson4819 call or define it in whatever way you want, end of the day rather than using it for anything positive it's rather being exploited to cause unnecessary stress and pain for people and causing serious drop in marriages and birth rates. If continued will cause major disaster for the entire country.
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@wualli2494 dowry in many countries like China , its surrounding countries and even middle East Muslim countries is paid to the brides family... As for why would they go through all the trouble of getting son married to crazy girls from crazy families, well simply put they have no choice. If everyone is having crazy demands and society as a whole has normalized such behavior then they have no choice but to follow. Also as shown in the video there is a serious demographic lopsidedness in the number of females. So if they don't accept they simply won't get a bride for their son and he will have to remain unmarried. This is not acceptable in such conservative societies around the world.
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@underwaterdream2870 you are right, many ridiculous practices which are basically bad for society in general are being followed under the guise of tradition. And believe they are pretty much the opposite to communism and actually peak materialistic capitalistic ideology. What else would you call where the groom and his family needs to basically buy all sorts of materials like House, Car, Jewelry and shower the bride and her family with money. Just rotten form of greed in full display.
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Yes, it's just unsustainable to continue such practices as it will even harm the future of the country... Parents rather than contributing to the longevity and happiness of their daughters marriage are basically ruining them. In her case later on what got me was, she goes for jobs that need her to return late at night. Her kid who is now around 7, for many years is at home alone while she is at work. She monitors him through cameras in the house as they both live in a small apartment with no one else. When I met them last the boy was very very quiet.... Feel really bad for both of them..
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The kindness you showed her am sure was something she will hold special. It truly is very hard for a single mother, especially if she had her child out of wedlock because till recent she wouldn't have even had the option to register the child as her own.
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