Comments by "Paul Anthony" (@paulanthony5274) on "Derek Van Schaik"
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I don't have religous views as you do but I'm glad you have something that comforts you from those horrible times you went through. As adults people like yourself and myself who went through abuse at the hands of my mother's boyfriend, look back and wish we had said something about what was going on more and if our mums didn't listen make sure that we put it across more severely what was going on. The problem is we were frightened, so didn't say anything about it and just thought it was something that had to be accepted. The problem is it affects you later in life. But glad you found solace in Jesus.
My mother left him in the end because she knew I was afraid of him but waited until I was nine before she got rid of him. This has caused many arguments between us over the last 45 years because of this. Because on one hand I think iff you knew what was going on why didn't you do something about it sooner. On the other she was kind of a victim of his bullying too. And she was a little scatty brained when we were kids. It's just a shame I didn't express more to her how much I hated him and the way he was, or, told my grandparents or my dad what was going on. Her boyfriend was a total control freak and I was frightened when around him to set him off, so I would just sit there quietly and do and say nothing. I learnt after a a couple of years how to act so as not to make him angry. From being 2 years old to 9 he was there. I loved it when he wasn't there as I could then watch my TV shows like The Six Million Dollar Man, something I wasn't allowed to watch if he was there. That's only something minor though compared to the things he did, swinging me round the room with one arm and hitting me on the bum with the other so I peed everywhere and things like that. Bullying all the time making me afraid of him. He never did it to my sister though. My mum thought he was jealous of my close relationship with her. He sometimes hit her in front of me. One time he grabbed her hair when she was washing the dishes and shoved her head into the sink smashing her head up and down on the pots whilst I was sat there eating my cereal.
I'm 54 now and well built and 190 pounds, I know where he lives he's about 80 years old, i could easily get him back for what he did. I could jump in my car and drive a few miles to his house and get some of my own back. But I'm not going to, I'm not like him I don't want to be the same as him. My dear mother passed away from cancer a couple of years ago now. There was always that gap between us though that didn't heal because of what happened. It's a shame we didn't get through it. But she never really apologized properly for it though. Apart from that she was great, would do anything for me. She remarried a really kind and considerate white collar guy. He had to put up with my arguing with my mother at times and I feel bad for that, he died too of cancer. Himself and my mum both retired sold the family home, a big 5 bedroom house and downgraded to a two bedroom bungalow in Wales, move there from manchester, pretty much as soon as they got there ready to enjoy their retirement he got cancer and was dead a year later. Terrible really. Jeez, I didn't plan on writing all that and half my life story, but thanks for reading lol.
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As a man and a father of two grownup sons,I've,never understood when couples separate and the father just gives up on his kids and it happens a lot,I separated but I love my kids more than anything so I don't understand men like that.But in this case where he smothered his own kids and whilst they were awake,probably pleading with him,it just absolutely horrorfies me,it's unbelievable,he has to be evil,a psychopath or something,wtf,can someone explain this cold horrible poor excuse for a human being.
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