Comments by "TombWraith" (@Tomb-Wraith) on "Can You Be In Love With Multiple People? | Middle Ground" video.

  1. 1. That depends on whether the polycule is open or closed. If one my partners wants to add a metamore, then it must be approved by all parties. Otherwise, thats cheating. 2. Same thing that makes monogamous people break up. Differences. 3. People cheat because they want to be satisifed. 4. Same thing as monogamy. If you are with someone else without knowledge or consent. 5. Because words have established definitions.
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  2. Not necessarily.
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  3. Its also natural to be poly.
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  4. She's saying that like platonic relationships, the brain is capable of having a romantic relationship with more than one person.
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  5. Then monogamy is possessive.
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  6. You can't? If you can't, that sounds like a skill issue on your part. I spend as much time with one partner as I do the other. I also don't treat my partner in the same context I would a friend.
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  7. I like how you claim the truth lies in the middle, and then immediately show bias towards one side. Children can be raised just as well in a polyamorous relationship.
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  8. Kinda hard to cheat if everyone is consenting. Since you know...that doesn't meet the definition of cheating.
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  9. My twins don't mind. They love having 3 parents.
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  10. Because polyamorous asexual people don't exist? Uh-huh...
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  11.  @Naked_AlienDanceParty  You literally said poly is an excuse to bang people. Plenty of polyamorous people are asexual. I.e. not interested in sex.
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  12. They aren't. You can have strong relationships with multiple.
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  13. Imagine trying to change the meaning of a word to spin a false narrative. Polyamory does not equate to cheating. You can't cheat on someone who consents.
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  14.  @sealthrux  Its literally not, and its not my fault you don't understand the definition of words. All humans are animals, so that's not really an insult. Sounds like your just mad that I'm happily in a relationship.
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  15.  @CLSGL  I would love to see the study where psychologists agree that children should have one mother and one father, because that may be the biggest load of horseshit I have ever heard. What children need are stable adults around them, regardless of gender or amount. It doesn't have to be complicated if you use common sense, and teach your children to use common sense.
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  16. Actually, it says the opposite, which you would know if you did 10 minutes of research. Asexual polyamorous people exist.
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  17. No, not really.
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  18. The whole premise of marriage is to receive tax benefits from the government unless your religious or spiritual. Has nothing to do with "closing off others." I think your view is perfectly reasonable considering culture. I'm polyamorous, and my relationship is based on love and compassion. I just hold that intimate love with 2 people.
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  19. Just because something doesn't work for you doesn't mean it doesn't work for anyone. I could personally never choose between the two men I fell in love with. Relationships are not always built on sex. Asexual people exist. If your communication is open, there is no jealousy.
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  20. Yeah no. Polyamorous just means falling in love with multiple people at the same time, and wanting to be happy in that. If that's what my partner and I want, who are you to say we have no self control?
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  21. Been married almost a decade with twins in a polyamorous relationship. Sounds like someone has some research to do.
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  22. Polyamorous =/= Open relationship
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  23. Then you are very ignorant, because thats not what polyamory is.
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  24.  @catbest8808  Polyamorous relationships can be open. But I know few that are. And they should not represent the majority.
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  25. Thats because you are monogamous, and find comfort in one person. A monogamous person would never have a successful relationship with someone who is (at least) openly polyamorous.
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  26. You can meet the right person and discover another right person.
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  27. What do you mean "behind his back?" Polyamorous relationships involve communication, and even most open relationships, everyone consents.
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  28. So why can't you share a partner if that partner consents? The point of that statement was to draw a comparison that brains work differently for every individual.
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  29.  @curious1053  No, I respond to people because I find open debate healthy, and I like to correct ignorance and misinformation. I don't care if people chose to live a polyamorous lifestyle. I am more than aware its not for everyone. I am asexual. But I'm not an incel. And no, the people who are biggoted are those who believe that I am disgusting or should be arrested or have my children taken from me because I am happy in this lifestyle.
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  30. What do you define as successful? I'm polyamorous and have been in a more successful relationship than the national average for marriage.
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  31. You do realize you can have a romantic relationship...without sex right? Like...asexuals exist.
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  32. But that is your personal experience. Asexual polyamorous people exist.
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  33. So being happy is selfish now? Okay. Then monogamous people are possessive and insecure.
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  34.  @CLSGL  It didn't take but a 30 second google search to entirely discredit them lol. I understand frustration of YouTube deleting comments, but your studies are so baseless its laughable.
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  35. Polyamory is just as normal. As long as the relationship is healthy, its normal. Whatever that looks like.
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  36. Poly doesn't mean open.
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  37.  @thankyouforbeingafriend9632  No it doesn't. Not necessarily. I'm in a poly relationship, but I don't get to go out and sleep without or date whoever I want.
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  38.  @thankyouforbeingafriend9632  Umm no. An open relationship allows any partner to be with who they want. A polyamorous relationship requires the consent of EVERYONE involved in the polycule. Not all polyamorous relationships are open. Most of them aren't.
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  39. Polyamorous does not always equate to open. Most Polyamorous people are actually in closed relationships.
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  40. Sounds like someone's not happy that people's brains work differently...
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  41. Not true. Many polyamorous people are in comitted happy relationships. I'm 8 years right now, and I've never been happier.
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  42.  @CamSpaghett  Because its simply not true. Polyamorous people spend quite a long time discussing with their partners when they want to add others, and most of the time, the polycule is closed. You make it sound like polyamorous people just pick up anyone that will sleep with them.
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  43. Or they're just asexual who don't actively want or like sex or find people sexually attractive.
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  44. "Why is it throughout history everyone has been in monogamous relationships?" Are...are you actually serious? That is NOT the case at all. Many many people throughout history had polyamorous relationships. You're just thinking of marriage. Marriage hasn't been consistent throughout all nations. Some don't even recognize marriage as a thing. That's why places like Canada have commonlaw relationships. The brain is capable of romantically loving more than one person. If it wasn't, you would never fall in love with another person say, after a divorce. The brain is complicated, and is wired differently for everyone it seems.
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  45. And you can physically and romantically be in love with multiple people.
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  46. Nope. Cheating is by definition without knowledge or consent.
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  47. No. Cheating is non consensual.
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  48.  @potatopotatobuy239  You can't cheat if everyone consents. That is the literal definition of cheating. Its going behind your partners back.
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  49.  @potatopotatobuy239  There is literally nothing illegal about cheating. You cannot cheat in a consensual relationship. What about that do you not understand?
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  50.  @potatopotatobuy239  You can cheat in a monogamous relationship. In fact, it's much more common.
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  51. Uh-huh. So why don't people do the selfless thing and stay together instead of divorcing? Maybe because they're unhappy, and you have to be happy to make others happy? You can't love anyone without loving yourself. No, you shouldn't give yourself to someone. You are not property. You should live your life along side them, no matter how many people that entails
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  52. You can't cheat if the people in the relationship consent. How are you mentally weak by falling in love with more than one partner and pursuing what makes you happy even when being judged by assholes who tend to go out and cheat anyway? Gen Z is more of this than Millennials, so I don't know why you just blame us.
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  53. A polyamorous person would never ask you to be in a monogamous relationship if you weren't monogamous. That makes no sense.
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  54.  @chichomrt6459  There's a very big difference between being physically attracted to someone and sexually attracted to someone. Lust literally only applies to sexual desire. I know many people, in both polyamorous, open and monogamous relationships, who are asexual. Myself included. They feel no sexual desire. Hell, some of them are REPULSED by the idea of sexual interactions. You can be in love with multiple people, and the relationship could be closed or open. This isn't confusion. Its the way someone is.
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  55. Yes you can. Human psychology disagrees with you.
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  56. You...do realize that asexual polyamorous people exist right? And that usually more adult income leads to more stability? Also, you can be committed to multiple people. You just kinda sound jealous that people can have multiple partners that love them, so you lash out.
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  57. Why is it selfish to be in a relationship where everyone is happy?
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  58. Because you should when it harms no one else. That isn't emotionally immature.
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  59. Because asexual polyamorous people don't exist?
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  60.  @catbest8808  Being in love with multiple people who reciprocate that love back.
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  61.  @catbest8808  I know exactly 0 polyamorous relationships where there is "friends" and "main partners". So no. He got nothing correct. You people seem to like to confuse open relationships with polyamorous ones. And they AREN'T the same.
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  62. The answer is yes. You can. At least some can.
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  63. As if every single relationship isn't self-centered. You don't date someone because of how they feel. You date someone because of how it makes you feel.
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  64. But that makes no sense, because there are many polyamorous people who are asexual.
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  65. And as someone who used to be monogamous, I can tell you I truly fell in love with two people. If thats the case, you were never polyamorous.
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  66. Its amazing to me how people don't actually know what cheating is.
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  67.  @viviancooper5892  "polyamory is for sex". You do realize that there are asexual polyamorous people right? Jealousy is common? How do you know that? What evidence can you site that jealously is more common is polyamorous relationships than in monogamous ones? What effects does it have on other people when they consent to being in the relationship. Do you understand that most polycules are not open? Ignorance.
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  68. Polyamory doesn't fit the established definition of cheating.
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  69. Umm no? I'm perfectly fine making my own money.
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  70. The same way it does in a monogamous relationship. I have twins, and to them, they have 2 dads and a mother. They call both my partners Daddy and view them both equally. To them, we are a normal family.
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  71. Imagine not knowing that asexual polyamorous people exist. You can be in love with multiple people, and this is something easily proven.
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  72.  @zweinhanderhiruzen9811  We currently aren't in a position where everyone needs to procreate. Perhaps I should have made that more clear. Not everyone has that urge. It's just that simple.
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  73. Nope, not true. Its simply a person who does not want to have to choose between people they love, and so live and love as a group.
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  74. Wow...so just fuck people who can't have or don't want kids huh? I didn't get married for children.
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  75.  @qaishtb581  I've been married for 4 years now. I do have two children. I just didn't get married for children
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  76.  @LemonAide  Ummm no? Asexuality is not being attracted to someone sexually. I'm a polyamorous romantic asexual. You're confusing asexuality and aromatic.
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  77. Yeah no. That's just not true. I care more about my partners than most monogamous people I know. Depends on the person.
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  78. If polyamory is selfish, monogomy is possessive.
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  79. Why would I want to commit to one person if I fall in love with more than one person? If everyone is happy, why does it matter?
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  80. No, its just experiencing relationships in a different way. I don't control the fact that I fell in love with two people.
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  81. Simple. Because that's what some people want. If it isn't YOUR preference, then why should you be forced into it? You shouldn't. You should just respect others who DO want that lifestyle. To assert that you're "made specifically for someone" is kinda gross to me. That sounds like I have to be with someone. The truth is you should have all the power in your own relationship, and should never be forced into anything.
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  82.  @hellobot67  That just sounds like ignorance and jealousy and that sounds like a very shallow thing to believe.
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  83.  @hellobot67  It is hard to be monogamous when you AREN'T monogamous. That's like saying "hey I know your gay man, but you should be with a woman". No one expects you to be poly when your mono, so why should it work the other way? There's nothing wrong with you, a monogamous person, not wanting to share your partner. But to judge others based on a different lifestyle is, frankly, just bigoted. I'm married and poly. I fell in love with more than one person. What's wrong with that if I'm happy?
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  84. 1. My physical attraction to them. I'm not in love with my good friends. I feel no romantic or physical attraction to them like I would in a partner. 2. Cheating is just as it is in a monogamous relationship. It is having relations outside of the consent of the parties involved. 3. It would depend on the situation. Different polycules are different. I'm in a Y polycule where 2 partners are with me, but are not with each other. Its not offensive. I like when people ask questions.
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  85. Why exactly isn't it okay to be poly? If multiple want me, and I want multiple people, why is that bad?
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  86. Poly. Been married for half a decade now. Never been happier.
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  87. Wow. Way to not only be entirely ignorant of one side, but to entirely sterotype it as well. Just because your selfish doesn't make you bad (considering everyone, in honesty, is in it for themselves), being poly doesn't make you a slut, and being mono doesn't make you chaste or generous.
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  88. You can be in love with multiple people. That is not arguable.
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  89.  @romanovnagenesis1944  Polygamy and polyamory are not the same thing. Some of us poly people are asexual, like myself. I have a deep committed relationship with 2 men, but have no desire to have sex with them. To say there is little commitment and love is basically you saying you are ignorant about polyamorous relationships. I'll happily answer any questions.
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  90. Apparently being in a consenting relationship=narcissistic sociopath? So then...wouldn't that also apply to monogamous people?
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  91.  @johnbattle7518  Perhaps you should then look up what "commitment" means, because nowhere does it mention it has to be to one person.
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  92. Or the just commit to multiple people.
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  93. Nope. I love my children equally. They both have their downfalls. There is definitely that child that is "more like you" that you jokingly call your favorite. But you shouldn't be a parent if you actually have a favorite, as that implies you would do things for that child that you wouldn't do for the other.
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  94.  @Maymay-mz4cp  I won't admit to something that blatantly isn't true.
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  95. Imagine being polyamorous and asexual.
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  96.  @agentk1930  Its not hard to do both at all. I'm asexual, but married and with 2 men.
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  97.  @broodingsoap9469  That's fine. Most people do.
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  98.  @broodingsoap9469  Because I fell in love? Asexual doesn't mean aromatic. It also doesn't mean I'm incapable of having sex. I just do not find sexual attraction in anything.
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  99.  @broodingsoap9469  No. I'm married. Romantic and physical attraction is not the same as sexual attraction.
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  100.  @broodingsoap9469  Well then ask and I'll try to clarify.
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  101.  @broodingsoap9469  Well then don't complain. You're being willfully ignorant
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  102. How is balancing multiple relationships lazy?
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  103.  @pbj4184  Thats not how a polyamorous relationship works.
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  104.  @user-pp8ru6uu1s  I know I'm right, but it doesn't matter. Just do what makes you and those around you happy.
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  105. Uhhh no. Relationships are about the feelings between the individuals. But, if you were to bring up a stable house for children, what point would that make? Both monogamous and polyamorous people provide stability.
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  106. I'm polyamorous. My relationship goes just as deep as a monogamous person. Just with 2 people instead of 1.
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  107. So falling in love with multiple people and staying in lasting committed relationships is selfish? Okay. Then being monogamous just means you're needy and possessive, because you want your partner to give everything to only you. Does that really make sense to you?
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  108. Its almost as if asexual polyamorous don't exist...kinda ruins your whole argument.
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  109.  @confection7615  Because you said that polyamorous people are driven by lust, which is sexual desire. Yet, there are asexuals who are polyamorous. So how is polyamory strictly driven by lust, as you claim?
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  110. Thats not only an unpopular opinion, its a baseless assumption.
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  111.  @CamSpaghett  What's wrong with falling in love with more than one person?
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  112. I'm poly and have two children. I fail to see how its impossible.
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  113. Then your viewpoint is wrong. Cheating and polyamory is not the same thing, nor is it impossible to be committed. I'm more commited to my husband and partner than the majority of "monogamous" people. There is no line between lust and love. You're just uneducated about polyamory.
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  114. How about everyone DOES what makes them HAPPY when it doesn't hurt anyone?
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  115.  @thewolverine9062  That sounds like jealousy that other people have more than you. How it greedy dor people to be happy?
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  116.  @rattlingduck8454  Then that just kinda makes you a bigoted prick now doesn't it? It's fine if you don't want to be in a polyamorous relationship. But that doesn't mean the relationship isn't valid.
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  117. Nobody, monogamous or polyamorous, doesn't find other people attractive just because they are in a relationship. Just because you find someone attractive doesn't mean you're in love with them. By the way, you can be in love and dedicated to multiple partners.
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  118. That sounds like projection. I think you can be attractive no matter your preferences.
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  119. As a poly woman, I assure you, I am the happiest I have ever been.
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  120. It's being in love and pursing a physical relationship with more than one person.
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  121. And why not? I'm poly, and my children are perfectly happy and normal. Its not about being poly or mono. Its about stability.
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  122. I work a full time atypical job, sometimes requiring me to work up to 16 hours, and I'm polyamorous. Its almost like you build those relationships together.
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  123. Why? Because we love who we want?
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  124.  @arwinbg8342  Except that's not true. You can commit to multiple people. Commitment: the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc.
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  125.  @nenmaster5218  How is not being sexually attracted to anyone confused? We know polyamory is valid both on the fact that it works and by brain scans. Its amazing that we still live in an age where others think they should have control over who people love. I'm a polyamorous asexual. I'll be happy to answer any questions.
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  126.  @_ryry11  You clearly never read the Bible. 1.Hajar(Hajera/Hagar)-She was the first woman who after having matrimonial relationships with the Father of Nations bore him his first child. To the birth of his first child,Abraham exclaimed in Hebrew:'God Listens!God Listens!'.Thus he was named Ismael (the Jews corrupted the word to Ishmael).Hajar was an Egyptian as the contemporary Pharaoh adopted her but by killing her biological father,King Tamzirah son of Prophet Salih and King of Maghreb.For her royal blood,the Prophet Muhammad who was a 62nd descendant of Ismael ,told his companions to behave with the Egyptians nicely.Ismael himself was fixed a wife from the nearby Jurham tribe by his mother .Soon Hajar died.Ismael adapted the language of Arabic from the Jurhamis who were descendants of Qahtan bin Abir(Joktan Ben Eber) ,who was given the Arabic language at the dispersion of languages.Ismael was told to be sacrificed by Abraham but it was only an emotional hard test but he succeeded in doing that only to be stopped by Jibril/Gabriel who replaced Ismael with a sheep.Ismael now arabised his name to Ismail from Hebrew.His father made him divorce his first wife and marry a second to whom he agreed.Ismael now Ismail after divorcing his first wife married three more wives who gave him:Nabit,Qedar,Abdillah,Mibush,Misma,Dumah,Massa,Timah,Yatur,Naphish,Haidar(ancestor of Muhammad,Kidman and Basimat.They settled in Syria,Jordan and Hejaz of Saudi Arabia.From them came the Adnanites or Arabized Arabs in contrast to Qahtanis or Pure Arabs. 2.Sarah/Sarai/Sara-She was the daughter of Tahwafita and Nakhur,brother of Abraham.She married Abraham at the first but was infertile. At very old age,she bore Ishaq or Ishak for she laughed and thus the baby was named Ishaq.She was the maternal cousin and paternal niece of Abraham. In her past years,because of her long time infertility,she bought Hajar from the Pharaoh and married her to Abraham.She died soon after her son was born. Her son bore Aish (Esau),he was the father of the Edomites and some Romans and Greeks and the prophets of Rome like Ayyub and Basyar(Dhul Kifl). And Yaqub(Israel),he was the father of the Israelites and thus to many prophets like Yusuf,Musa,Harun,Yusha,Hizqil,Ali,Samuil,Dawud,Sulayman,Ilyas,Alyasa,Irmiya, Danial,Uzair,Zakariyyah,Yahya,Asheya,Jerjous,Hayqouq and Isa. 3.Qantura(Keturah/Qatura)-She was the daughter of Yaqtan the Canaanite.She became the concubine and wife of Abraham upon God's command after Sarah's death. She bore him : Zemran(ancestor of Jeddah people),Madan(ancestor of West Jordanites),Median(ancestor of Prophet Shuayb ,East Jordanites,South Syrians and Southwest Iraqis),Dadan (ancestor of Northwest Arabians),Shuah(ancestor of South Syrians),Sarj,Nashaq and Ishbak(ancestor of South Iraqis and Eastern Jordanites). 4.Hajun-Fourth wife of Abraham according to Ibn Al Athir and Al Sahli.She was the daughter of Amin and bore the Father of Arabs,Jews,Romans and Mesopotamians : Kisaan,Sooraj,Amin,Loutan and Nafeis. Thus the Father of a Multitude had 4 wives and 15 children.
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  127. Been in a poly relationship for almost 8. Not much different except there's 3 people instead of 2
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  128. It literally isn't cheating. You don't get to change the definition of a word because you find something strange.
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  129. Thats not how all brains work. I have found perfect matches for me, which is why I fell in love.
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  130. Are you saying you can't be moral if your polyamorous/monogamous?
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  131. I would make a strong argument its the other way around. Why can't monogamous people understand that some people are happy being poly?
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  132. No. Because you are still romantically involved with them. I'm polyamorous but asexual.
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  133. The definition of love is "an intense feeling of deep affection". That is certainly possible for multiple people.
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  134. Loyalty = staying committed to those you have pledged too, whether it be one or several.
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  135. Polyamory does not necessarily mean open. Most polyamorous relationships are still closed relationships. You misinterpreted her. What she was saying is just as you love multiple friends or family, it is possible to love more than one person in a romantic way. My twins have 2 dads and a mother and they love it.
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  136. Citation needed
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  137. No, its not. Its being in love with more than one person, which is just as valid as monogamy. Polyamory doesn't have to be sexual at all. Monogamy isn't any more moral than polyamory. I have twins and am poly, and there is 0 problem with that.
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  138. You...do realize that I can be poly and date a monogamous person...right? Like...that literally changes nothing. Not all monogamous people care if their partner is also monogamous.
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  139. That isn't true. Many people live long and fulfilling lives being poly. I'm poly, married, have 2 children, and have had years of happiness. It just depends on what you look for and what makes you happy.
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  140. In a poly relationship, yall do not love its lust You do realize that asexual polyamorous people exist right? People who only want a romantic relationship and do not want sex? If you have to be in a poly relationship No one HAS to be in ANY relationship. I am in a polyamorous relationship because I fell in love with more than one person. End of story. If your partner leaves you for another person... By that logic, any monogamous person has no right to be mad either. You can still cheat in a polyamorous relationship.
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  141. As if polyamorous asexual people don't exist...
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  142. Being with multiple people if it makes you happy when everyone consents is no more selfish than it is possessive to only be with one. Not all polyamorous relationships are open. Most aren't. Don't speak about a topic you know nothing about. I deserve to be happy, just as anyone who is monogamous. The only difference is I fell in love with two men.
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  143. Lust only applies if you are sexually attracted to a person. Many people are not. Many people are asexual, yet still feel attraction and pursue relationships. You clearly don't know how love works..
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  144.  @chichomrt6459  I very much understand what love is, which is why I've been married as long as I have, and am perfectly stable in my relationship. I understand how complex love is.
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  145.  @chichomrt6459  That's fine. You're just wrong. Like...provably wrong. But its your choice.
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  146. Imagine calling someone selfish for wanting to do what makes them happy.
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  147. Friends with benefits requires sex. You'll find many polycules that don't even have a sexual component. The human brain absolutely can have deep emotional connections with multiple people.
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  148.  @vos8470  As if you didn't use a personal attack by saying those who are poly are childish and insecure? Show me where I attacked you. Right. I didn't. I said that's how it comes across. You know why you won't rebuke me? Because I'm right. And yes, I do think I know more about this than you, since I have been in a polyamorous relationship for almost 11 years. Call me a troll if it makes you feel better. It just shows ignorance and an unwillingness to learn. I'm in a stable and healthy relationship, much more than some monogamous people I know. It can work.
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  149. Except thats not what it means. It simply means you have a deep love and affection for more than one person. If you want to claim that you can't be in love with multiple people, you need to take a psychology course.
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  150.  @JoelWalker56  I did too. Believe it or not, you can be in love with multiple people romantically.
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  151. You're not any more likely to get an STD in a poly relationship that has no cheating than you are in a monogamous one with no cheating.
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  152. Been married for over half a decade and am in a poly relationship. Just depends on what you and you partner (s) want.
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  153. Being married to a primary partner doesn't make you monogamous. I'm married to one partner and am still polyamorous. You can be in healthy relationships either way. Fuck off with your ignorance.
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  154. I doubt ypu know what loyalty means.
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  155. Being poly doesn't make you a hoe. Asexual polyamorous people exist.
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  156. Cheating is to go behind your partner's back. All polyamory is (at least in closed relationships) is a relationship of more than 2 people. How does that translate to only caring about oneself? Also, could the argument not also be made that monogmy is just being controlling or possessive of someone, as if their purpose is to make you happy? Because in the end, only the individual is responsible for their happiness. I fail to see why you are so upset if someone else is in a relationship that makes them happy.
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  157.  @Hyyacinth  I'm sorry if I seem miserable to you. I like open conversation, and so I respond to people who disagree with me. I don't see how that's miserable. And you still haven't told me how I'm defensive. There is a fine line. A line that is often blurred. And there is no line because "consensual cheating" does not exist. You can't cheat if it's consensual, because the very definition of cheating involves the other partner not knowing. It's a breach of trust.
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  158. What responsibilities am I escaping from by being polyamorous?
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  159. Because I fell in love with two people and wanted a relationship with both of them. Why is it so fucked up to be happy?
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  160. How am I selfish for being happy? Monogamous people are possessive.
    2
  161. Cheating requires a lack of consent from the other party involved. Falling in love with multiple people, and wanting to pursue relationships, does not equate to cheating.
    2
  162. You can be in love, have trust, and be loyal if you're polyamorous. It just depends on how your brain is wired. You act as if only one person in the relationship wants multiple partners. But most polyamorous relationships are closed. You're monogamous. Nothing wrong with that.
    2
  163. Not all polyamorous relationships are open. Most aren't. But imagine calling someone creepy for being different than you.
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  164.  @shreyassundaresan4719  Way to show what kind of a nasty, discriminatory person you are. You're a disgusting person. Because someone doesn't live the way you do, you call them vile names.
    2
  165.  @shreyassundaresan4719  The problem is your assumptions are wrong. You can be loyal, trustworthy and respectful and love more than one person.
    2
  166. All relationships are hard, poly or mono.
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  167. I think the opposite.
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  168. How? If polyamorous people are selfish, monogamous people are possessive.
    2
  169. The point was you can love multiple partners, just as you "love" multiple friends. It was to draw a comparison on the brains ability to maintain mutiple healthy relationships.
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  170. Okay, well its not cheating. Why not have a conversation with a polyamorous person?
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  171.  @narutofan8261  Then have a conversation with me. I'm poly.
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  172.  @narutofan8261   Okay. 1. Most poly people usually don't have more than 2 or 3 partners. Its a bit difficult to explain how we love multiple people. We just do. 2. Yes, love is real for me. 3. Yes, I make commitments. 4. One of my partners is asexual, so I only have sex with one. On top of that, sex isn't a big deal in our relationship, though this may not be the same for someone else. 5. What do you define as a friend? Most people in monogamous relationships consider their partner their friend. 6. Multiple partners is only like multiple jobs in the sense that you need to put in the effort to make it work. 7. Polyamorous relationships work because everyone is consenting. Everyone understands that they are loved equally. 8. If someone says you're not good enough, you shouldn't be okay with it. That person doesn't love you. That's true of any relationship.
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  173. You can't cheat if everyone consents.
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  174. I disagree.
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  175. "Almost no man wants a polyamorous relationship" Citation needed. I'm with 2 polyamorous men.
    2
  176. I can't. Because nothing I say will change your mind. It doesn't matter if I say I'm committed or in love. You'll just say I can't be committed to two people. Circular arguments won't solve anything.
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  177.  @christophervibe7430  The fact that you made that claim proves you've never studied psychology nor medicine. Because it does happen. All of the time.
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  178.  @christophervibe7430  You don't lose someone if you have open communication about the fact that your polyamorous. You have issues when you're poly, but you have a partner that wants a monogamous relationship. The brain works differently for every person, so forgive me, but I don't believe you've studied psychology at any length, or you've studied psychology that is no longer supported by the scientific community. If intimacy was inherently so strong, no one would cheat. That is not reality. Commitment and love can fade over time, or could not truly be there in the first place. I don't have two partners because one fills a need the other doesn't. I have two partners because I fell in love with two people. You don't have to believe in polyamorous relationships. That doesn't make it any less real or factual. I do not control who I'm attracted to. Facts don't care about your feelings. That's no different than saying people aren't born gay or trans. People are born attracted to whoever they're attracted to. I can't choose to fall out of love with my partners anymore than I can choose to fall in love with a woman.
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  179.  @christophervibe7430  Not true. That's actually been proven. The act of falling in love can be shown on a brain scan.
    2
  180.  @christophervibe7430  Except you can be in love with multiple people. The act of being in love is literally something we can measure. For you to argue that it isn't possible is just not a reality. No, you don't. Because if you did, you would know that it is possible for someone to fall in love with multiple people. People cheat for a number of reasons. Desire, lack of communication, physical attraction, emotional detachment etc. Cheating isn't just sleeping with someone who isn't your partner. You can have all the communication in the world, and the desire to be with someone can still peter out. I am well aware it takes work. But that work could still not be enough. The point I was making is that I cannot change the fact that I'm polyamorous anymore than I can change the fact that I'm straight. Its not a choice. You fall in love with who you fall in love with. I know many same sex polyamorous people, as I know many monogamous same sex people. No, just because someone is attractive doesn't mean your attracted to them. There are many men that are arguably attractive that I have 0 attraction to. You don't want to get into a relationship with another girl because you haven't fallen in love with anyone else. You are monogamous. That's fine. I'm not. I value my partners as well. I'm intimate with them, and you arguing that you aren't born poly is no different than arguing that you aren't born gay. Falling in love and dating multiple people makes you poly. It exists and it can work.
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  181.  @christophervibe7430  No, no one has to get jealous. Believe it or not, not all humans experience jealousy. No one gets the short end of the stick. I'm sorry that you don't understand how polyamorous relationships work. I have studied psychology. It was my career for a while. Your comments prove you haven't.
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  182.  @christophervibe7430  Its not different. Its a sexual preference. Unless you're saying you acting out on that attraction is a choice. In which case, so is being in any relationship. I did not choose to fall in love with two people. Stop saying I did. It has nothing to do with DNA. It has to do with how the brain is wired. Being polyamorous doesn't make you a cheater.
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  183.  @christophervibe7430  Kinda hard to lose what you don't apparently have. But in all seriousness, I don't actually think you're uneducated. Really, I don't. I just don't think you're as up to date on psychology as you think you are. I don't choose to love two people. I choose to be in a relationship with two people I fell in love with.
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  184.  @christophervibe7430  And I think its wrong to be a bigot. But if that's what works for you, than that's you.
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  185. Not necessarily.
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  186. How is being happy selfish? Polyamory is selfish the same way monogamy is possessive.
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  187. Wouldn't be an accurate title.
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  188. Yes you can.
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  189.  @deathlike13  Because I just don't feel jealous.
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  190.  @deathlike13  I don't need to be fulfilled. I'm fulfilled enough on my own. I just fell in love with two amazing men. I love them and my children more than anything in this world. My children love their fathers and they are happy and healthy.
    2
  191.  @deathlike13  My kids know my husband is their biological father, but view both of my partners as their dad. Kids will always be bullied.
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  192.  @deathlike13  So I'm selfish because I have two men that are damn good fathers who my children both consider fathers, especially since I work a job that I'm always on call for? Its no offensive. Its just wrong. I know my children will be bullied, whether it's for having two fathers or because of something else. The best thing I can do is prepare and teach them how to handle it. That's what a parent does.
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  193.  @deathlike13  I care that they get bullied. If I didn't, I wouldn't bother trying to teach them to be prepared for it. I just know I can't stop them from being bullied for something. You don't want to understand, nor do you want to admit that someone who is poly has a healthy and happy family relationship.
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  194.  @deathlike13  Except it can. My relationship isn't protrayed in this video. This is OPEN relationships. Mine isn't open. My kids are very well loved, and are happy and healthy, which is more than I can say about some "monogamous" parents.
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  195.  @Cynthiagirouard  No. I'm with two consenting partners who both live with me.
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  196.  @deathlike13  Well I'm sorry. I had no idea that video existed, and on top of that, every relationship is different. My kids are happy. I'm happy. My partners are happy. That's all that matters to me.
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  197.  @deathlike13  And they have yet to be "messed up" just becausr I'm with two people. In fact, you're more likely to find a child "messed up" because their parents got divorced, which is 3 times higher in monogamous relationships. Just because I'm poly doesn't mean my kids don't come first.
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  198.  @JD-kq1he  No, thats not how a polyamorous relationship works. You are confusing polyamorous with open. Polyamorous relationships only allow certain people in, and those people are loyal to each other. There is no risk of getting a sexually transmitted disease if you and your partners are clean, unless someone is cheating. STDS do not just appear from sex.
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  199. What is your definition of "natural?" Natural, by definition, means "occurring in nature." That would absolutely make polyamory natural, even if it is no longer common amongst humans. Just because you've never seen it work doesn't mean it doesn't. It may not have worked with you because you were not poly.
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  200.  @zweinhanderhiruzen9811  Not all of us have an interest in sex or find people sexually attractive. Asexuality is just another sexual orientation. There is nothing wrong with me. I don't really care about being an ideal human being. I was ideal enough for someone to marry so...
    2
  201. Polyamorous does't mean sex with multiple people. You can be polyamorous and asexual. A friend and a partner are not the same thing.
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  202. No? Where did people get this idea that its somehow bad to be selfish? Sure, overly selfish people are a problem, but the only way you can make others happy is to be happy yourself. You have to come first in your own life. If being polyamorous is selfish, being monogamous is possessive.
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  203. I'm polyamorous and asexual so...
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  204. Cheating= secret. So no, polyamory cannot be cheating by definition. Because all parties know and consent.
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  205. No it's not. Not really. Its being in a relationship with multiple people without have sexual attraction. Just like you have physical or romantic attraction to a partner. I don't treat my partners the way I treat my friends essentially.
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  206. Yes you can. Polyamorous asexuals exist.
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  207. Umm no. I love both my husband and my boyfriend more than I love myself. I just happen to love more than one significant other. Why do you have such a problem with that?
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  208. Brain scans disagree with you. You are absolutely capable of being in love with multiple people. Its not up for debate.
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  209. No offense, but monogamy is for possessive people who can't control their jealousy.
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  210. Yes they can. I'd argue it's monogamous people who don't believe that you can love more than one person who cannot tell a difference.
    2
  211. Loyal: giving or showing firm and constant support or allegiance to a person or institution. Explain to me where its defined that you cannot be loyal to more than one person. Actual love? Define that term. I love my partner just as much as I love my husband. Where do you get the idea that polyamorous relationships are sexual? They're not. A vast majority of the time, they're not. Simply put, I love more than one person just as you do to one person. Why is that so difficult?
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  212. Because the idea of most people are that people are only poly to get away with sleeping with multiple people, and its annoying to hear that.
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  213. You can be loyal to more than one person.
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  214. Uhh no? Far more cheaters are monogamous actually. While you can cheat in a polyamorous relationship, the act of being poly does not equate to cheating. That last line is ironic, coming from a liar.
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  215. Not true at all. Its worth the effort to do what makes you happy when it hurts no one.
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  216. Its natural because it occurs in nature. By "primary partner" they mean the partner they specifically have the most interaction with.
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  217. Except we can. And that can literally be proven on a brain scan. If it weren't possible, you'd never fall out of love with one person and in love with another.
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  218.  @dexodon3304  I'm committed to both of partners and if just being happy is selfish, then everyone is selfish
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  219. Thats because you aren't polyamorous. Poly people just want to be happy in relationships. They just happen to fall in love with more than one person.
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  220. Not in all cases.
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  221. Or its just another way to be happy. You literally can't cheat of the relationship is consensual to everyone.
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  222. Polyamory is just about being in an intimate relationship with more than one person.
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  223. I don't love either of my partners the most. I love them equally. Most polyamorous relationships are not open.
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  224. Polyamorous asexual people exist.
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  225. Keep pretending that everyone in polyamorous relationships sleeps with more than one person.
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  226.  @muralmarshall5044  It is love. And whats wrong with being comitted to more than one person? You just sound possessive.
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  227.  @muralmarshall5044  And I happen to be in love with more than one person and be in a closed committed relationship. So what's wrong with that? Why are you so ignorant in thinking we're just someone's side pieces?
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  228.  @muralmarshall5044  You can be in love with multiple people. This has already been proven. To pretend you can't directly contradicts science. No, its not. Its about being happy. Just as in any other form of sexuality. I have been in a committed polyamorous relationship for going on 11 years. And I am committed.
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  229.  @muralmarshall5044  Not true. Sorry, but you can absolutely be "in love" with more than one person. I don't have sex with one of my partners. Only with my husband, so its not a priority. And yes. I value my partners just as much as monogamous people do.
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  230.  @muralmarshall5044  No, they are my partner. I'm in a romantic relationship with them and we do everything a couple would do. We just do not have sex. You can be in a romantic relationship without sex.
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  231.  @muralmarshall5044  I'm not romantically involved with my friends.
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  232.  @muralmarshall5044  The same way everyone else does? I've answered this twice now.
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  233.  @muralmarshall5044  I literally told you 3 times. Ita not my fault if you can't read nor understand.
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  234.  @KysHome  How about actually accepting other people being different from you instead of being ignorant about a concept you literally know nothing about? Maybe you wouldn't come across as such a disgusting person then. But I can't change you or your opinion.
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  235.  @KysHome  Oh I understand that. That's what's wrong with the world. But its your opinion. I will say with full confidence that I am more comitted and selfless to my partners than most monogamous people, and certainly more than you.
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  236. Not all poly relationships are open.
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  237.  @josie3267  Let me explain it better. All open relationships are polyamorous, but not all polyamorous relationships are open. Open relationships usually allow for partners to date multiple people. Closed relationships require the consent of everyone in the group in order to proceed.
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  238. Been in a poly relationship for 12 years. Amazing. It actually can work.
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  239.  @viviancooper5892  But you aren't poly. No one is asking you to be poly if you aren't. Why are you asking us to be mono if we aren't?
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  240.  @hellobot67  Any form of healthy love and affection is "normal". Relationships have never "always been" two people. It used to be normal to have multiple wives. Its still normal to divorce someone or end a relationship and marry or date someone else. And people still cheat. I'm poly because I fell in love with two people and failed to understand why I had to pick between them. I fail to understand why you think I just randomly add people into my relationship. If relationships are just two people, stop having multiple friends. Pick your parent and disregard the other. Pick only one child to have a relationship with. The bottom line is you are just ignorant, who is for some reason, unhappy with others wanting to be happy.
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  241.  @hellobot67  Actually, at a base level? It is. It's also not "multiple relationships." It's one relationship with 2 people. Also, it's kinda hard to cheat when the relationship your in doesn't fit the established definition of cheating. Cheating requires a lack of consent. I can't pick because I love both men I am with. So why should I be forced to pick? Why should someone not be allowed to do something that makes them happy when it causes no harm to anyone? Why isn't it right? My children love their fathers, even though only one is biologically theirs. Adding anyone else is wrong? What about stepparents? Is that wrong too then? Show me objectively how that is wrong. I'd be more than happy than listen. It IS hard to be with ONE person when you LOVE more than ONE, just as its hard for YOU to love someone of the same gender if YOU are straight.
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  242.  @viviancooper5892  And what evidence do you have of that? What about being poly means the person doesn't want you for you? If it's selfish for people to be poly, than to force someone to only commit to you is possessive and manipulative. Does that sound reasonable to you?
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  243. The problem is that this doesn't represent polyamory. It represents OPEN RELATIONSHIPS. Most polyamorous people don't have a main partner. All parties are equal...
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  244. Because thats the way the brain works in some people.
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  245. Monogamy is in no way enforced. Its just most people happen to only love one person, or simply prefer to cheat. There is nothing degenerate about being polyamory. Those relationships can be stable and monogamous relationships can be unstable.
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  246. I love my husband and my partner more than anything. Why does that make me a hoe? Sounds like someone doesn't know the first thing about polyamory.
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  247. Your no more likely to get STDS from a polyamorous relationship, since most of them are closed.
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  248.  @thisisauniquename  There can really be an infinite number of polycules, but the main ones I see are Y (where multiple people only date person) or a triangle (where each person dates the other). The rules just sort of depend on the polycule itself.
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  249.  @iungertime  As far as loving more than one person, your beliefs are not fact. You absolutely can be in love with more than one person. Psychology shows that. Actually, that isn't true. There's a poly couple in Montana that celebrated their 50th anniversary. The woman is married to one man and has a second partner. As someone who is in a loving and healthy polyamorous relationship, the amount of ignorance is ridiculous. Sex and selfishness? No honey. You'd be much more likely to find that in a monogamous relationship.
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  250. Sounds like massive projection bias. Imagine not knowing that some poly people are asexual.
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  251. If everyone is consensual, it physically can't be cheating. Also, lets just pretend that polyamorous asexual people don't exist. But if they did...what are they struggling to control?
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  252. Polyamory doesn't equate to cheating.
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  253. Polyamory does not equate to cheating.
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  254. Absolutely nothing wrong with being selfish. In fact, to deny people are selfish is a lie. Poly people can build lives together as well. Selfishness gets bad when you neglect others needs or you step on others for your wants. But you should come first in your own life.
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  255. As a polyamorous person, I am by no means jealous nor am I a selfish person in the way you describe. I enjoy doing things with my parnters as a group. I know both the good and bad sides of my partners. I simply fell in love with 2 people.
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  256.  @thegreypill9507  Then you're just objectively wrong.
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  257. As a polyamorous chronically ill disabled person, no. In fact, it helps a great deal to have two partners to help me instead of one.
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  258. Nah. Most of us just want to be happy.
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  259. Polyamory is not polygamy. I have a husband and a partner. I have never had any sexual contact with my partner. Most polyamorous people don't.
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  260. You do know polyamorous asexual people exist, right?
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  261. Then it isn't cheating.
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  262. Why?
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  263. Polygamy and polyamory are not the same thing.
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  264. Because I believe its unfair and possessive to give all my effort to one person when I'm in a relationship with two. I have built a strong relationship with both, but that may not be how everyone works
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  265.  @firstnamelastname4658  And I think its possessive and selfish to have only one person. Especially if they fall in love with someone else. But thats just me.
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  266. Imagine not knowing that you can be poly and asexual.
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  267.  @kisaki3074  Because....I am asexual and poly. I am romantically involved with two men, but hold no sexual attraction to them. Also...no? No it isn't. Plenty of people are polyamorous and asexual. The only reason people are polyamorous is because they feel romantically attracted to more than one person, and don't feel they should have to choose. You...do realize you can have sexual contact...and be ace...right? Asexual is just a term for someone who has no sexual attraction to anything (which I don't). Also...what does sexuality have to do with gender...? Other than what your attracted to?
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  268. Imagine believing that because you love more than one person, you must be a sex fiend. You do realize you can be committed to multiple people, right?
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  269. Or maybe not everyone thinks the same, and both people want a poly relationship. Why is that so wrong?
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  270. I respectfully disagree. I think any healthy and long lasting relationship is a rewarding thing. It does not simply apply to monogamy.
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  271. You seem very close minded.
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  272.  @jamesmartin2740  Your absolutely wrong. Question. If everyone in your group wants to have an open relationship, how exactly is that selfish?
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  273. Sorry, but psychology and science disagree with you.
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  274.  @aalvarado4274  Uhh no. The vast majority of the human race thinks that a relationship should be between consenting adults. You can be in love with any gender, any sex, and multiple people. Just get over it.
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  275.  @aalvarado4274  No, they don't. Because they actually understand science. I'm not butthurt. I'm just rational. And am living proof you can have a happy family with more than one person.
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  276. So you disagree with polyamory because you dated someone who wasn't a right match for you? That's actually ridiculous.
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  277. Polyamory is not cheating. Polyamory is when all parties know and are comfortable with the relations that one another had. You weren't polyamorous. You're a cheater. Facts don't care about your feelings.
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  278. Most polycules (especially if closed) require everyone to get screened for an STD before entering the polycule. Polycules often also live together so tracking contraception is fairly easy.
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  279.  @kayleigh3648  Then that just seems bigoted and judgemental. I would argue those I know who are poly are far more likely to be upfront, honest and loyal then most monogamous people. If you're going to make the argument that "I don't know if my partners cheated", I could make that same argument for any monogamous relationship. How do you know your partner has never cheated? It runs both ways. You just kinda seem judgemental of someone who is happy in a different lifestyle than you.
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  280. How is loving multiple people and being happy degenerate?
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  281.  @gyanko8147  No, I don't get it. Because it makes no sense. People are more than capable of being in love with multiple people and being happy.
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  282. The same way you love multiple friends. Just in a romantic way. Or the same way you fall in love with another person after a breakup. No, its not just lust. Asexual polyamorous people, like myself, exist. I love both my partners just as much as a monogamous person loves their's.
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  283. You can be in a polyamorous relationship and not have sex. Thats not lust.
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  284.  @truthfulpurpose  No, actually. Sorry, but human psychology disagrees with you. I absolutely love both of my partners. My brain happens to work differently than yours. Go figure.
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  285.  @truthfulpurpose  I am satisfied with my husband, but I fell in love with another man. I live both of them equally and nothing in either my marriage or relationship is lacking. I have multiple because I fell in love. Maybe stop being so ignorant on a subject you clearly know nothing about.
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  286.  @truthfulpurpose  Take any masters psychology course. One of the first things they will teach you is the chemical composition of the brain and how it reacts when it responds to emotion.
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  287.  @truthfulpurpose  One, polgamy is not polyamory. Two, do your own research. Any links I provide you, you will write off. By the way, never did I say that polyamory was embedded in human psychology. The ability to fall in love with more than one person is embedded in human psychology. Every brain fuctions differently. And I am only married to one man. I am only intimate with one man.
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  288.  @SarahSarah-hp7sm  Friendship is fine. But its different than being in love.
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  289. Being poly isn't cheating.
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  290.  @user-pp8ru6uu1s  Cheating in a relationship only occurs if you are going behind your partners back. In a polyamorous relationship, all parties involved are aware and consent to the open relationship. That is not cheating.
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  291.  @user-pp8ru6uu1s  If you are going behind your partners back and being with other people, then yes it is cheating. You wanna know who the majority of that is? People who claim monogamy.
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  292. That is called cheating. You cannot be in a consensual polyamorous relationship unless everyone is okay being part of it.
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  293. Since when does society only function based on monogamous relationships? That's ridiculous.
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  294. Polyamory is not polgamy.
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  295. To answer your question, I choose to be in a poly relationship because I fell in love with 2 men. Its really that simple. I am committed to my partners just as you would be in your monogamous relationship.
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  296. Except you can. That's like saying you must love one child more than another. Or one parent more than the other. The brain doesn't work that way. Sure, it would be impossible to love two partners equally if you are monogamous. But not everyone is.
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  297.  @dexodon3304  That's not the point. The point is that love as identified by the brain is capable of feeling that way toward multiple people.
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  298. Because it is normal. No it isn't. You can be committed to multiple people. You can be in love with multiple people. Of course you mention to your partner your poly. That's what it means to be in a poly relationship.
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  299.  @kalkidanhailu8563  Imagine not knowing that asexual poly people exist.
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  300.  @kalkidanhailu8563  Have relationships and get married just like everyone else does? Or do you not understand the difference between sexual attraction and romantic attraction?
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  301. @Jon I am very much romantically in love. I am just romantically in love with two people. In fact, I'm so romantically in love that I live with both of them and would marry both of them if it were legal to do so. Romantic love is a strong desire or attraction for a person, and the desire to have a deeper than friendship connection with them. No one "gives themselves entirely" to another person. That implies a relationship in which you do not do anything for yourself, which is toxic and unrealistic. It definitely is. Argue with me and science all you want. I love my partners just as much as a monogamous person loves theirs.
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  302. Anyone can be insecure or jealous.
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  303. So what about the polyamorous people who aren't interested in sex? Do they just not exist?
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  304. No, not at all.
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  305. Asexual polyamorous people exist.
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  306. This video does a really bad job of portraying polyamorous relationships. We DON'T call one primary. MOST polyamorous relationships are NOT open. Most of us love all parties involved EQUALLY.
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  307. Not all poly relationships are open. I would argue most of them aren't
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  308. And you know that how?
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  309. You SHOULD do whatever makes you and your partner do best in YOUR relationship.
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  310. That is not only not logical, its not proof of anything. People in polyamorous relationships, for the most part, spend all their time together. As a group. As you would with two people. Because most polyamorous relationships are not open. You can give effort and commitment to someone without spending physical time with that. How do you think people successfully online date? Love has nothing to do with how much time or attention you give them. Love is a physical chemical change in the brain. I'd be willing to bet money I'm more in love with both my partners than many monogamous people. We don't have cheating, jealousy, or the possession and trust issues of many monogamous relationships. Tldr; You can be in either type of relationship and it can be healthy.
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  311. Why does my and my partners happiness bother you so much? I would genuinely like to know.
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  312.  @Papacam-pc1ix  That's not true. Loving anyone, even outside of physical relationships, take commitment. I do love all my husband's flaws. I also love my partners flaws. You are allowed to have your opinion. I'm also allowed to voice my opposition. Especially when people are trying to prevent me from having my rights.
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  313.  @Papacam-pc1ix  I wasn't saying you. I was saying some people. Thats why I respond. Is because some people literally don't think I should legally be allowed to have multiple partners.
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  314. I'm sorry that you feel that way, but can assure you it isn't true
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  315. And you would be quite wrong. I am a generally negative person about myself and am quick to point out my own faults. That doesn't keep me from loving my partners.
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  316.  @chewface  No actually. I have always struggled with self esteem problems. I have a full time job and am currently raising a pair of twins. I would say my life is pretty good, even though I'm poly.
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  317.  @chewface  2. I have a husband and a "betrothed". I don't really know why I struggle with self esteem
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  318. You can be polyamorous and loyal.
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  319. You can be poly and be loyal.
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  320.  @Peni_Parker_Main  Why do people being different bother you so much?
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  321. You can fall in love with multiple people just as you can have multiple best friends.
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  322. Romantic. Cuddling, dates, spending time together etc. Asexuality exists, and some polycules are entirely non-sexual. Polyamory has to do with being in love with multiple partners. Sex doesn't have to factor into it.
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  323. Mm no. Cheating is cheating. You can cheat in polyamorous relationships, but polyamory itself isn't cheating.
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  324.  @tsygan7  Ma'am. And if so, I apologize. That was not clear, and many people actually hold this viewpoint.
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  325. Thats because your ignorant and know nothing about them. I see monogamous relationships as self-serving and possessive. Would you describe them that way?
    1
  326.  @halla6973  Being in an open relationship is not necessarily being in a polyamorous relationship. I'm in a polyamorous, but closed, relationship.
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  327. I don't find polyamory chaotic at all.
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  328.  @MiraiMemento  Its not chaotic if you do not make it that way.
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  329.  @MiraiMemento  No. In fact, I have a more longterm and stable relationship than most monogamous people I know. What works for me may not work for you.
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  330.  @MiraiMemento  I go atound replying so that people can see the other side of things. You can disagree with polyamory for yourself, but the ignorant and nasty things people say are unjustified. I simply try to show them that it does work. There is no objectivity to be had. How one chooses to live ones life is subjective.
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  331.  @MiraiMemento  That wasn't the impression I got from your original comment, especially with you adding the last bit to it, so I apologize if your particular comment got misunderstood. I am not trying to change anyone's mind. Thats not the point of debate. When people say things like "polyamory is cheating" or "polyamorous people are unloyal whores" that is ignorance.
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  332. Mmm no. You're factually wrong. We can easily prove through brain scans the feeling of "love" and how it can be felt romantically for multiple people. And what about polyamorous people, like myself, who are asexual?
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  333. Cheating: violation of a couple's assumed or stated contract regarding emotional and/or sexual exclusivity. Can you cheat in a polyamorous relationship? Yes. Does being in a polyamorous relationship mean your cheating? No. Fuck you. Polyamory is about being open and in love with more than one person. I love my partners just as much as monogamous people do. I just have love for more than one. Guess what? Most people who are actually cheaters are monogamous. Know why? Because humans aren't inherently monogamous. You can be happy being monogamous and I'm happy being polyamorous. What's insulting is your ignorance.
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  334.  @SarahSarah-hp7sm  But thats the thing. The action DOESN'T hurt. It may hurt YOU, but you speak for no one else. No one stabs anyone in the back in a polyamorous relationship, unless of course, you cheat.
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  335. Because you are committed in a poly relationship. Just to more than one partner. I have both a husband and a boyfriend, but that doesn't give me free reign to go and be with anyone. All parties must consent.
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  336.  @laverdadbuscador  Its not. Not all polyamorous people are in open relationships. In fact, no one I know is. This woman sounds less polyamours and more open, which are not the same thing.
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  337. You do know most polyamorous don't "jump" to relationships right? They have multiple relationships at once. No one is bashing monogamy. If anyone is being "bashed", its those who are polyamorous.
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  338. No, poly and mono are both about yourself and other people. If we really wanted "just ourselves" we wouldn't date at all. We'd just fuck and bounce.
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  339. You do realize that most polyamorous relationships are closed right?
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  340. Polyamory is a romantic and/or sexual relationship with multiple people with all parties consenting. There are people (like me) who are polyamorous but asexual.
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  341.  @Hyyacinth  No, I'm not miserable. I comment on pretty much all of Jubilee's middle grounds, because debating and learning about different perspectives is something I enjoy doing. I just simply try to provide a viewpoint others may not have. If you're not poly, then you can only say its fucked up based on what you see, and I personally don't think that's a fair assumption. I'm not defensive, and I know and understand that other people will never agree with polyamory. I only try to clear up misinformation I see people spread.
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  342.  @Hyyacinth  That's not how I see it, though I can understand how it would come across that way. Just understand that this isn't the way everyone who is poly acts. What would you label someone who was poly if not poly?
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  343. They ARE their parent. My betrothed (as I call him) do not treat my children any different than their father (my husband). My kids know both of my partners as Daddy.
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  344. Then you bring that to the attention of your partners. I'm in a v style polycule. I am married and have a partner, but my husbamd and partner have no relationship.
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  345. Polyamorous =/= polygamy. Your whole argument is flawed. And the point was to draw a comparison of being able to love more than one partner like you love more than one child or friend. Not that those loves are identical.
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  346.  @mariahberry3312  No, clearly you need to understand context and stop being so close minded. At least just admit you don't like polyamorous people.
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  347. You can be committed no matter whether you are mono or poly.
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  348. Its not really different growing up with polyamorous parents than monogamous parents. Yes, the husband would have done the same thing. Because he has no respect for boundaries.
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  349. Its literally not. Cheating requires a lack of knowledge and consent from the other party.
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  350. Polyamory literally can't be cheating. Cheating involves going behind someone's back. If polyamory is just "cheating" then monogamy is just "possessive".
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  351. Being poly isn't cheating. Going behind a partner(s) back and being with others without knowledge or consent is cheating.
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  352.  @Anotherguy1st  Then its not cheating. If all partners know and consent, it no linger fits the definition of cheating.
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  353.  @csea4672  Jealousy is a natural emotion to have. Some have it and some don't. I share as well, and my betrothed has a wife. We simply don't feel jealous of each other. My partners are there for me as I am there for them.
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  354.  @csea4672  Nah, I don't feel jealous at all. I'm happy myself and my partners are happy. In fact, just personally, if I'm feeling like that, I prefer to be alone. We didn't choose this lifestyle. We just happened to fall in love with multiple people. I'm quite close with his wife.
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  355.  @csea4672  I've always preferred to be on my own whenever I'm in a bad mood. Its how I've always been. Has nothing to do jealousy. You're right. It is hard. And it can be harder with multiple people. I'm just willing to put in that time.
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  356. Being polyamorous does not equate to cheating.
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  357. Nope. Never been heartbroken and never been monogamous.
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  358.  @haneye7069  As if people don't get gaslit and heartbroken in monogamous relationships.
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  359.  @haneye7069  No, I don't ignore that trauma. I'm sure it happens. That doesn't mean its strictly to polyamorous.
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  360.  @haneye7069  I'm sorry that happened, but that's not all poly people.
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  361.  @haneye7069  I'm poly myself and have no idea what you are talking about. If you are in a consenual relationship, it isn't cheating. You find cheating way more in monogamous relationships. I'm sorry you were hurt. But you can't blame a whole community for your pain.
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  362.  @haneye7069  That's awful. I'm sorry that happened to you. No one should force someone to change their relationship to suit them.
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  363. That just shows your ignorance on the subject is all.
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  364.  @laraking804  When your opinion goes against what is reality, yes it is ignorant. Opinions can be wrong when it contradicts facts. There are facts to polyamory that we have both based on accounts and on psychology. If you believe that polyamory is a term for not being committed and sleeping around, you are ignorant. Because you have an opinion on a subject that is disproven by the large percentage of people who belong to that group. There's nothing inherently wrong with being ignorant. I'd be more then happy to discuss my relationship, in which I am both married, committed and have children, and have only slept with one man.
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  365.  @laraking804  They may be society based in how their viewed, but they aren't choices, any more than being gay is. Take a psychology course.
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  366. Thats not how human psychology works. People can, and are, in live with multiple people. While you can cheat in a polyamorous relationship, polyamory itself does not fit the definition of cheating. Why are you so mad at people being happy with more than one partner?
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  367.  @firstnamelastname4658  But that isn't true. You absolutely can be in love with multiple people to the same degree. Cheating: violation of a couple's assumed or stated contract regarding emotional and/or sexual exclusivity. This only occurs when the other partner or partners is/are unconsenting to you having an intimate relationship with another person. If they agree and consent to it, it is not cheating. Its neither. You can be loyal to more than one person by respecting and supporting all partners involved. Again, no. In fact, I don't know any polyamorous people with a "main partner". Everyone's time is even. I love my husband and my partner more than almost everything. Why are you so upset over my happiness? Because I fell in love with 2 people and monogamy to me is controlling. Its as if you own the other person, and I don't like that. But thats just me.
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  368. @frenchie Thats why I said monogamy to me was controlling. Not in general. Thank you for understanding.
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  369. If you don't believe you can love and be in love with multiple people, you have no understanding of human psychology.
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  370.  @MiraiMemento  You most certainly can be in love with multiple people. Biology has nothing to do with it. It has to do with the human psychology. Humans are not pair mating animals. Most people have multiple partners throughout their life and they certainly are not monogamous as a species. Just because you are monogamous does not mean everyone is. We have yet to unravel the human brain. I know many people that have an intense devotion to multiple people. My best friend is poly and he has 3 other mates in his polycule who he would die for. Do not claim false information. Everyone is different.
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  371.  @MiraiMemento  Not true. I would even argue that the majority of people aren't monogamous. People cheat on their partners all the time. We have an inherent need to want affection and attention not because we are pair bonders, but because we are social beings. By the way, polygamy is not the same thing as polyamory. All both of us is currently using is anecdotal evidence because thats all we know. Neuroscience and psychology have not figured out the human brain. You can most certainly be devoted to more than one person. The definition of devotion is: love, loyalty, or enthusiasm for a person, activity, or cause. You can be in love with more than one person, and desire a relationship that splits time amongst the group. Despite what you believe, facts don't care about your feelings.
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  372. It was definitely the other way around. Defy the norm and your disbaraged against.
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  373. Tell that to a polyamorous asexual.
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  374. Hahaha. Did you just claim polyamory is against the Bible?
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  375.  @_ryry11  ....Oh really? Then why did Abraham have 3 wives?
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  376.  @_ryry11  The first three. The final one is only mentioned in the Quran. Sarah and Hagar were both his wives. Keutuah became his wife right before Sarah's death. Why do you think polygamy was quite common among both Jews and Christians in early days?
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  377. And why is that? What's wrong with wanting to be happy?
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  378. That's not a problem. Regardless of what kind of relationship you are in, you have to come first. You are the one in charge of your life and happiness.
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  379. It certainly can be. Depends entirely on your romantic attraction.
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  380.  @thenamelesschannel2334  And devotion is something one could feel fpr multiple people.
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  381.  @thenamelesschannel2334  Not true. In fact, that can be proven simply by looking at a brain scan. Just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
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  382.  @thenamelesschannel2334  The act of loving another person is actually something you can measure with a brain scan, which is why polyamory is recognized.
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  383. That works in monogamous relationships too, you know. Its called step-children.
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  384. As if asexual poly people don't exist. Some of us just don't think sex is important to relationship.
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  385. You can be loyal and having a trusting relationship with more than one person. No, polyamory isn't cheating, and if you're a decent parent, it doesn't damage children any more than cheating in a monogamous relationship, or divorce does. I have 2 children and am happily in a polyamorous relationship. Both of my children are thriving.
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  386.  @childoficarus5334  Hell yeah. Especially when you have twins that have exact OPPOSITE personalities.
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  387. Commitment to anyone is a testament to love. You can be committed to two people when they understand and consent.
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  388. You have no understanding as to what cheating is. You can't cheat if your partner accepts and is aware of the other person. And what does polyamory have to do with autism?
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  389. Yes. Polyamory is not. And its illegal because of the benefits marriage grants someone.
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  390. You can be in love wirh multiple people.
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  391.  @rachel-zy9sr  Yes you can.
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  392. Why does my and my partners happiness make you so upset?
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  393. Because they are. You can be polyamorous or monogamous, and still be in healthy, committed, long lasting relationships.
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  394.  @Momentswithbubba96  You can be in a commitment to more than a singular person. Falling in love with multiple consenting people does not mean you have a commitment issue. That's lunacy. Being unfaithful means you have a commitment issue. It literally has nothing to do with greed.
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  395.  @Momentswithbubba96  That's your subjective opinion, and that's no different than saying being with the same sex is wrong. Its bigotry.
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  396.  @Momentswithbubba96  No it isn't. You believe its wrong for consenting adults to do what makes them and their partners happy. That is no different. No one is hurt in a consenting polyamorous relationship anymore than someone is hurt in a same-sex relationship.
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  397.  @Momentswithbubba96  If no harm is done in a relationship between consenting adults, then to take issue with their relationship strictly on type is bigotry. You cannot legally marry multiple people. That doesn't mean that a second partner is any less valued as a partner than the husband or wife. You have no reason to find it wrong other than you don't like it. Thats the same argument thrown at the LGBTQ+ community.
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  398.  @briand3029  Its being romantically, emotionally, physically and/or sexually in love with more than one person. Its simply about how many people you fall in love with. There's no problem with not understandingz especially when your brain doesn't work that way. Youtube has some great videos on polyamory.
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  399.  @briand3029  Wait, when did I insult you? Nothing I said was insulting. I had a mature conversation. I'm not offended at all. I don't understand.
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  400. No. I'm sure there are some like that, but I'm poly and my husband was my middle school sweetheart. I just fell in love with 2 people. Sex is optional. Some people are asexual. I have 2 children and reserve sex for my husband, and my boyfriend is fine with that.
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  401. I am a straight, polyamorous woman with a husband, boyfriend, and 2 amazing children.
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  402. Where's the evidence of this? You can be comitted to more than one person.
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  403. @mar b I don't know what you mean by care home
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  404. And if polyamory is selfish, then monogamy is possessive.
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  405. That's because people tell you you can't. But I am polyamorous with two children, who are both incredibly stable and happy.
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  406. You can be "in love" with more than one person.
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  407. Correction: Should only share your partner if your partner and yourself are okay with it, otherwise it would be disgusting and disrespectful.
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  408. How is being in love with multiple people narcissistic or self-obsessed? What about monogomy being possessive and controlling? I doubt you'd agree with that sentiment.
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  409. How is it not? You choose to surround yourself with multiple people who you care about. If I am in love with two people, why should I have to choose between them?
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  410. Umm no. Because 1. Polyamory isn't cheating and 2. You can be loyal in a polyamorous relationship and a cheater in a monogamous relationship.
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  411. In a logistic sense, yes. In a psychological sense, not really.
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  412. Hey guess what? Asexual polyamorous people exist. Polyamorous is another word for falling in love with more than one person. I have 2 children and am in a polyamorous relationship. So your last sentence is invalid.
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  413. Congrats. You completely misunderstood what she was trying to say because of your bias.
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  414.  @mrsiblaugrana9003  That is what she said. But she didn't mean because we love our children like we love our partners. She compared the two because she was showing how just as we are capable of loving our friends, the brain is capable of falling in love with multiple people. She was drawing on comparison. Not making a direct comparison between loving children and loving partners. Because that would make everyone polyamorous, and they're not.
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  415.  @mrsiblaugrana9003  It is in the sense of being able to love multiple people. But we are taught that that is wrong. And so many people fall in love with one person at a time.
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  416. How is it selfish? You do realize that polyamorous relationships are consenting on all parties right? You make it sound as if a person in a monogamous relationship just brings in another person. We don't seek out others because our partner is missing something. We seek out people we fall in love with. It sounds like you have no idea how polyamory functions at all. I find monogamy just being possessive. You have a fear of being alone, so you make your partner stay with you. Does that sound rational to you? I am more in love and committed to my 2 partners than the vast majority of monogamous people I personally know.
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  417.  @exsanity4268  Do you not actually realize that there are polyamorous asexuals? The difference between being poly and a friendship is literally the act of being in love and in a relationship. Nobody is a "side partner" is a polyamorous relationship. You're thinking of an open relationship, which aren't the same thing.
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  418. Facts don't care about your feelings. You most certainly can love more than one person.
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  419. Yes it is. Just not in the same manner.
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  420. Wow, the ignorance is strong. So what would you call my poly 7 year marriage if not a relationship? Its almost like its possible to equally love multiple people. My relationship literally disproves you.
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  421. Humans...are animals...?
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  422. You know...polyamorous asexual people exist.
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  423. Why is it so bad to accept people how they are? How does it harm you?
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  424. That is anecdotal. I, for example, am simply someone who fell in love with two people. I love them both more than almost anything, and I am in a healthy and happy relationship.
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  425. Then you're just factually incorrect.
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  426. Thats because your monogamous and not attracted to those who would be poly. Nothing wrong with preferences.
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  427. Because I'm in love with multiple people the same as you are with your one. Why does that make you feel so icky? Its really monogamous people that are narcissistic. Your partner has to give YOU all the attention and YOU all their love. Sounds selfish. Bottom line, let people live how they want. Me having multiple partners in no way affects you.
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  428. Love? Companionship? There are many reasons. In fact, I don't even have sex with my partner. Only with my husband. And we are extremely happy in that relationship. Are you attracted and in love with multiple people? If not, that your not poly.
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  429.  @maxandrelanthier4788  I am poly. I am in love with multiple people and am in a relationship with multiple people. I am only sexually intimate and married to one.
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  430.  @prosauce5073  Umm no. Polyamory: the practice of, or desire for, intimate relationships with more than one partner, with the consent of all partners involved. There is a huge difference between platonic love and intimate love.
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  431. Humans are not naturally monogamous actually. And bringing God into a conversation does nothing. And I'm sorry. Shall we really debate how many wives Abraham had?
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  432. Cheating: violation of a couple's assumed or stated contract regarding emotional and/or sexual exclusivity.  If there's consent and permission, it literally can't be cheating. I respect myself and my two partners more than most monogamous people. And since I'm married with 2 children, I'd say the relationship is serious. Maybe don't speak about something you know nothing about.
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  433. And facts don't really care about your opinions. Saying it isn't for you isn't an excuse to generalize and be ignorant. Sure, some poly people care about themselves. So do monogamous people. And there's nothing wrong with dating multiple people, if everyone is happy and consents.
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  434. And most poly relationships don't have "primary partners".
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  435. You missed the entire point. The point that was being made was just as you can love two friends on the same level, it works the same for a relationship. You can love multiple partners to the same degree, just as you can love multiple friends.
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  436.  @loladexploradora5567  You very much can love them equally. As you can be in love with people equally. Of course I wouldn't love an ex the way I love a current partner, because I am no longer in love with my ex. I do, however, love both of my current partners equally. I am in a poly relationship and all 3 of us live together. We do everything as if I was married to both of them. Equal love does exist. If you have a "favorite" then you clearly don't love them equally and you probably aren't poly.
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  437. Or you could you know...be sexually attracted to multiple people.
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  438. Yes.
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  439. And polyamory also requires that.
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  440.  @chevalierdeloccident5949  As if polyamorous asexual people don't exist. Continue living in ignorance.
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  441. Oh fuck off with your God delusion. I love myself, my husband, my children and my partner. I have standards, am not more selfish than any other human, or disloyal. Nor am I a particularly lustful person. My love is different from yours. Grow up.
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  442. I actually think that not only are you a biased, judgmental asshole, but you actually have no idea how polyamory actually functions.
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  443.  @Believer-kx5hu  I'm sorry you feel that way about a stranger you've never met simply because what makes them happy is different to what makes you happy.
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  444. Thats because your not polyamorous. And there's nothing wrong with that. But polyamory is about love, just love of multiple consenting partners.
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  445. Why do I want to have more than one partner? Simple. Because I love more than one person romantically. Who exactly does that hurt when everyone consents? Adam and Eve did not exist. They are parable characters designed to tell a story. And Abraham had at least 3 wives.
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  446.  @timus4993  I am a woman.
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  447.  @timus4993  He did have 3 wives. Sarah, Hagar, and Keturah. He had married them at the same time. You should actually go back and read the Bible. There is no getting around that. And he was not the only one. David, Jacob and Solomon all had multiple wives.
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  448.  @timus4993  He still had multiple wives at the same time, as did several other prophets. If that's your argument against polyamory, its a flawed one.
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  449.  @timus4993  It was three, if you actually read the Hebrew Bible, but most people translate a concubine to someone one only slept with. Either way, the point stands. Your religion allows for polyamory, so what is your issue?
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  450.  @timus4993  Perhaps polygamy is not allowed in your specific denomination. However, Christianity allows polygamy, and there's no arguing that. Its in the Bible. And regardless, not everyone is religious.
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  451.  @timus4993  Sure
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  452.  @timus4993  Yes I am.
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  453.  @timus4993  No. Polygamy isn't legal. I have a husband, and another partner I consider my fiancé.
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  454.  @timus4993  If either of us wants to add someone, we would talk about it yes. 2 is enough for me at this moment, and he's monogamous to my knowledge.
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  455. I've been with the same 2 people for 11 years. You don't have to change partners.
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  456. You do realize you can be polyamorous and loyal, right?
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  457. I find that statement not only incredibly incorrect, but incredibly ignorant. My feelings run deeper in my closed poly relationship then most monogamous relationships. Is this true in all instances? No. But you make it sound like it can't happen.
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  458.  @Emmanuel_Amoah  And "nearly impossible" is indeed incorrect and ignorant, because it isn't rare.
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  459. So explain to me why you cannot do that with multiple people.
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  460. No, polygamy is being married to multiple people. And to be fair, it shouldn't be illegal.
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  461. We exist. Althogh, not the old part.
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  462. Exactly how is it selfish when its a relationship you and your partner want? Do you ever maybe think that its unfair for someone to be unhappy in a relationship?
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  463.  @justjesse4788  So why judge them for being in a relationship that makes them happy?
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  464. You can't cheat with consent. Sounds like someone is jealous.
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  465.  @JoelWalker56  No, she was drawing a comparison on the fact that you can love multiple people as you loved multiple family members. You simply misinterpreted her.
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  466. Except its not. How is it selfish to want to be happy with other people that feel the same? Also, imagine not understanding that polyamorous asexual people exist. You people literally make polyamory sound like we just get to bring in all the partners we want. And that's just not true. EVERYONE has to agree. Cheating literally involves going behind a partners back. And you absolutely can love multiple people at once, something we can clearly see on brain scans. You're just a bigot.
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  467. Why follow it up with "before they commit to one partner" as if that's necessary to be in a relationship?
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  468.  @fatcatontario  Personally? Only one. Why does elderly matter? I'm married, have children and am poly, and have been in said poly relationship for over a decade. It honestly can work. It's not that different from any other relationship. I think some people have a misguided understanding about what polyamory entails.
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  469.  @fatcatontario  Personally for me, its the contrasting opinions between my husband and my partner. We almost never fight because a mediator is always there. Plus is just the love I recieve from both. I could never choose between them.
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  470. Nah, we build relationships as well. To answer your question, depends on the type of polycule you're in. I want to stress that this episode did not focus on closed polyamorous relationships, which is the majority. Both of my children consider both of my partners their father, even though only one is biologically there's. "I don't care what anyone says" Facts don't care about you. Arguing with reality doesn't change it.
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  471. The misogyny is strong with you.
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  472. Thats because your not poly. And thats okay. I feel like monogamous love is possessive and only surface level. But we're different.
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  473. You genuinely believe that because its not accepted as the standard, nor are you polyamorous. Because if it was or you were, you would not hold that opinion. You do have to commit in a polyamorous relationship, just as you do in a monogamous one. The only difference is you commit to multiple partners. You have very little understanding of how a poly relationship works.
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  474.  @kiwibird6171  Committment: the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc. It takes dedication to be committed to multiple people. You don't bounce around between partners. You do everything together, just as you would in a monogamous relationship. There still is temptation. You can still cheat. As far as a limit, that depends on the polycule. I am in what's called a Y polycule. I am with 2 people who are with me, but not with each other nor anyone else. Technically, the limit is whatever the polycule decides. In most cases, the max is usually 3. But I know some that cap out at 5 or 6. And each one is different.
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  475.  @kiwibird6171  Mutiple partners does not qualify as everything. Yeah, there's temptation. Because in order for someone to be added the ENTIRE group must consent
    1
  476.  @kiwibird6171  No it doesn't. It takes just as much as with one. I don't actually think you know how polyamorous relationships work. We do everything together. No one is exluded. Unless of course they want to be. There are no benefits. I have the same relationship you have with one person. I just have it with two.
    1
  477.  @ventithebard2318  Most polyamorous relationships are not open. They are closed.
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  478. As if polyamorous asexual people don't exist?
    1
  479.  @desmond4046  No. Considering one of partners is polyamorous and asexual.
    1
  480.  @logan5429  Uhh no. That right there show's you know nothing about brain psychology, how love works, or polyamory. That's literally like saying you can only love one parent. It's ridiculous.
    1
  481.  @logan5429  Thats not how most polyamorous relationships work. I don't leave one partner one night to go the next. We spend every night together. With both of them. One of my partners is asexual. He's not interested in sex at all. I'm not with them for sexual needs. I'm with them because I love them. Easily. I'm married to my first partner. My second partner and I are, in a sense, engaged. We can't legally marry, so he's essentially like a commonlaw partner. I don't NEED to be with two people. I was just with my husband from middle school until we got married when I was in my mid 20's. Ovet 10 years I was just with him. But I fell in love with a close friend, while maintaining the love I had for my husband. You will never find a person that has everything you want. Regardless of whether you are poly or mono. That is an unrealistic expectation. For me, the key was finding some different from me who compliments me and my desires and personality. I just happened to find 2 guys in that category.
    1
  482. You do realize plenty of polyamorous people are asexual right? Or only have sex with one partner? I'm poly and have twins, and they're incredibly happy. You sound very ignorant. Also, you should learn the definitions of words before you use them.
    1
  483. Since when? If a relationship is only between two people, then a family unit isn't a relationship. Where in the definition does it list only 2 people? In fact, the definition literally states "two or more".
    1
  484. What's the problem with multiple consenting adults dating?
    1
  485. You mean like Abraham who was certainly NOT monogamous?
    1
  486. I don't know any polycule that does not have all members tested before any sexual activity occurs. Also...monogamous people can contract STD'S as well.
    1
  487. And what about people who are polyamorous but asexual? Do you have the same feeling about them? You also do know that most polyamorous relationships are not open right? And that statistically, most people who have STD's are monogamous?
    1
  488.  @cowhunter4231  As if only polyamorous people do that.
    1
  489. Except their not. They function better in a relationship with multiple partners. And by the way, that has nothing to do with being bisexual. You can be bisexual and monogamous.
    1
  490.  @nixxdra  Cheating by definition can't be consensual. Its going behind your partner/s back.
    1
  491.  @nixxdra  Except its not. Cheating: violation of a couple's assumed or stated contract regarding emotional and/or sexual exclusivity. If a person is in a polyamorous relationship, and all parties involved consent, it is not cheating. This is where metamors get involved. That is not cheating. You can still cheat in a poly relationship. Its not a lack of concern for their partners. Its about how their partners agree with what they are doing. You sound like you know nothing about polyamory. Being poly does not involve or end up in cheating. I have a healthier relationship than most monogamous people. Its just about preference. So I'd be careful using the term prejudice. Because thats what you're doing.
    1
  492.  @nixxdra  I think you're a liar, since you equated polyamory to cheating, which it isn't. I have a need to argue with you because you are spreading misinformation.
    1
  493.  @nixxdra  And if you had a negative experience with polyamory, its because you were never polyamorous in the first place, or you were literally cheated on. You tried to equate all polyamory with cheating. And your wrong.
    1
  494. Not all polyamorous relationships are open. I would actually argue most of them are closed.
    1
  495. It does feel amazing. You know what else feels amazing? Falling in love with multiple people who love you back and that support you. Explain to me how being in a loving relationship with multiple people is equal to sleeping around for money.
    1
  496. Asexual people exist-
    1
  497. But polyamory isn't cheating. Cheating is cheating. Cheating nesssecitates going behind your partners back.
    1
  498. Open relationship and polyamorous relationship are not necessarily the same thing.
    1
  499. Its really not that hard.
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  500. Yes, because they aren't. Cheating would be going behind your partner's back or against your agreed terms. You can however cheat in a polyamorous relationship, just as you can in a monogamous one.
    1
  501. People don't understand that polyamory has nothing to do with sex and lust. Asexuals exist.
    1
  502. You can't legally marry multiple people, but what's the difference in being married and not?
    1
  503. Not usually. Even in open relationships usually, your partner usually knows who you're with. That's certainly true with polyamory. Everyone in the relationship must consent, or its cheating.
    1
  504.  @chloekit4861  Before anything happens, at least in my experience, everyone is tested. And most poly relationships are closed. There's no more STD or unwanted pregnancy risk then a mono relationship.
    1
  505. I have two children and am polyamorous. I can assure you, our family works no differently than it would be if we were monogamous.
    1
  506. Lust only exists to the religious. Love can be platonic, romantic, sexual, or combinations.
    1
  507.  @middleeasterngamer9985  Yes. I am entirely for real. Sexual love, which is a valid human emotion, is not what most people define as "lust". You can love someone in a sexual manner and not be lustful.
    1
  508. You can be poly and loyal.
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  509. That word doesn't mean what you think it means. If both parties consent, why does it matter?
    1
  510. Yeah, not true. That's like saying if a relationship didn't work out, you never really loved your partner.
    1
  511. Polyamory =/= having sex with everyone. It simply means being un a relationship with more than one person. You can be polyamorous and asexual.
    1
  512. No. Because you can be poly and asexual. Polyamory is simply about being romantically in love with multiple people. There are things I do with my partner that ai would not do with a friend.
    1
  513. You can be in love with multiple people. You can also be in love with a single person.
    1
  514. They can. Its the monogamous people who usually can't understand having more than one partner.
    1
  515. Because people are different. I have been married to my husband for almost 7 years now, and he and I love our partner just as much as we love each other. Why is that so bad to you?
    1
  516. No, because that isn't true. I love my partners just as much as monogamous people love theirs.
    1
  517. You do realize it isn't cheating if everyone consents right? Monogamy isn't easy if you aren't monogamous.
    1
  518. Anyone can be poly.
    1
  519.  @walkingintruth6206  God has never been proven to exist and these "rules" do not exist.
    1
  520. How is it selfish to be happy with other people who are happy? That's ridiculous. Also how is it unsafe? You clearly don't understand how poly relationships work. Of course you'd be unhappy. You aren't poly
    1
  521. Many polyamorous relationships are not sexual in nature at all. Monogamy is normal for some and is abnormal for others. As a polygamous person, myself and my partners are extremely happy. Maybe don't lump everyone into the same category.
    1
  522.  @deathlike13  Because I happened to fall in love with two amazing men.
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  523. My daughter is 6 and is perfectly content with her mother being with 2 men that she loves very much, as is my 4 year old son. Believe it or not, you can be polyamorous and raise happy, healthy and stable children.
    1
  524. As if you can't be emotionally developed and be poly, or not be poly for sex.
    1
  525. Not true. You're no more likely to get STDS in a poly relationship than a monogamous one.
    1
  526.  @JD-kq1he  Thats not what I meant. I meant it doesn't just suddenly come out of nowhere. It has to be spread through bodily fluids by someone who already has it. The risk is no higher in polyamorous relationships, if everyone is honest, than it is in monogamous relationships. If someone was going to lie about having it, then you'd be much more likely to find that in a monogamous relationship, as the majority of the population is monogamous. No, its not. The risk is no higher whether you engage with 1 clean person or multiple clean people. You're not stating a fact. You seem to be entirely confused.
    1
  527. If you need someone to complete you, you are a toxic and codependent person, monogamous or polyamorous.
    1
  528. You can still be in a closed polyamorous relationship.
    1
  529.  @fujoshikittyxx  You can be in a closed polyamorous relationship.
    1
  530.  @zweinhanderhiruzen9811  I consider myself healthy and I'm ace. I fail to see a problem with not being sexually attracted to anything and not being interested in sex.
    1
  531.  @zweinhanderhiruzen9811  No one is changing science to feelings. No where in science does it ever state that its abnormal to not be interested in sex any more than its abnormal to be attracted to the same gender. I would love to know these facts, because the one that seems to be debating feelings is you.
    1
  532. @UC1e72bZbBSVH84qtiIa7mQg I have a masters in biology. The thing is, we have a cognitive function than that of animals. We are well aware that we do not need to reproduce as our species is in no danger of dying out. You can ne ace and still have sex. You just don't find sexual attraction to anything.
    1
  533.  @destineewilson1983  No, not usually. Sometimes it can stem from trauma. These people are usally repulsed by sex. Others, like me, simply do not have sexual attraction.
    1
  534. How is being in love with multiple people psychotic?
    1
  535. Everyone in a polyamorous relationship is treated just like they would be in a monogamous relationship, just with more than one person.
    1
  536.  @kikithekokopuff9278  Your ignorance on this subject is laughable.
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  537. Uhh no actually. We are social creatures that desire attention and affection from more than one place. Humans can be monogamous, but are not inherently so.
    1
  538. If the "side partner" and "main partner" are fine with the relationship, then no its not cheating. Also, thats usually not how we refer to people. I think she was using terms to make it easier for someone who is not in that sort of relationship to understand.
    1
  539. Polygamy is not polyamory.
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  540. I absolutely know what being in love feels like. I happen to be in love with multiple people.
    1
  541.  @Alex-jt5wh  No I feel the same physical need for each of them, though I only have 2.
    1
  542.  @Alex-jt5wh  Physical need as in physical attraction. Love absolutely can be physical, emotional and or sexual.
    1
  543. We...didn't evolve to be monogamous?
    1
  544.  @andrewjohnson9014  No it isn't. Marriage is a religious concept. Plenty of people have commonlaw partnerships. You don't have to be monogamous to care for children. Marriage had no effect on mortality rate. Uhh no. Cognition is what differentiates us from other animals.
    1
  545. So suddenly falling in love with multiple people who also want to be in a relationship with you is gross? How is that any different than saying two consenting adults of the same sex is gross? Its not a sexuality. Its a sexual/romantic preference.
    1
  546.  @Mdobehere  Sure.
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  547.  @Mdobehere  haha. I've always no more than two. How long have you been an asshole to those who want to be happy?
    1
  548.  @Mdobehere  That's nice. Glad to know we have even more douchebags in the world. Congrats on the bigotry.
    1
  549.  @Mdobehere  Oh yeah I'm fine. Listen, if your girlfriend invited someone into the relationship without your consent, thats not a polycule. That's cheating, and it is toxic. You should not ever, monogamous or polyamorous, stay in a relationship that you are not happy in.
    1
  550. Yeah no. Being in a relationship with multiple people is not akin to sleeping around with everyone.
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  551.  @stormanimations5422  I think me, being polyamorous and asexual, of all people should know.
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  552.  @stormanimations5422  It is in our nature. We just grew up in an age where we were taught that being with multiple people is abnormal. Sorry that you can't respect another person being happy. That actually points to something being wrong with you, not me.
    1
  553. You're no more likely to develop an STD in a polyamorous relationship (which are overwhelmingly closed relationships) than you are being in monogamous relationships.
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  554. You should never be in any relationship, monogamous or polyamorous, if you're seeking it for them to "complete" you. That's actually toxic. You should want a partner(s) because you love them and their company, not to fill some void. You should be complete whether or not you're with someone
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  555.  @kingsleyokani1407  No it doesn't. Being able to find happiness without someone is actually a very healthy and positive trait to have. I love the people I'm with, but if they weren't with me anymore, I could go on without them. No, I don't think when you love someone they become a part of you. That makes you controlling over them in my personal experience. They'll always hold a special place in your heart. No? I would feel sad and hurt. But I wouldn't feel incomplete or lost. I would just move on with my life.
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  556. You can also be in love with more than one person, have sex with more than one person, and build a family with more than one person. Polyamory is valid.
    1
  557. One partner = possessive and manipulative.
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  558. Thats called confirmation bias. I love both my husband and my partner, and I'm sorry if you don't believe that.
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  559. Most polyamorous relationships are not open.
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  560. Polyamory is not the same thing as an open relationship. Nor is it the same thing as polygamy.
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  561.  @zavrina21  And? If all parties are consenting, what is the issue? If its not for you, thats fine. But don't equate these things.
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  562. Because the purpose of being in a relationship is to be intimate with those people or that person. Thats a desire that I and my partners want to fulfill. So what's wrong with that?
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  563. Not necessarily. I'm married to one man, but still have a partner whom I am not married to.
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  564. Poly doesn't mean an open relationship.
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  565. It won't work.
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  566.  @ranjanarawat4336  Then you leave. You're clearly not happy, and your values in love are different. A polymer person shouldn't force themselves to be monogamous. Its not fair to him or to you.
    1
  567.  @ranjanarawat4336  Then you need to be the one who cuts off the relationship.
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  568.  @ranjanarawat4336  You can be his support system without being in a toxic relationship.
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  569.  @ranjanarawat4336  Good. You deserve better
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  570.  @ranjanarawat4336  Of course. I'm glad I could help you. You'll find someone
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  571. Humans can mate for life. I can put all my effort into relationships, even when I'm with multiple people. I love my partner and my husband. Just get over it.
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  572. Good thing facts don't care about your feelings then.
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  573.  @KingDami1999  Yes it can. The act of being in love is literally something controlled by chemicals we can measure. There have been numerous studies on this. Just because you're uneducated about what being in love means and know nothing about psychology doesn't mean it isn't real. Its how we determine expression. Don't be ignorant.
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  574.  @KingDami1999  Considering I've been in a relationship for over a decade and married almost 6 years and have two children, I'm pretty sure I know what love is. You just jave cognitive dissonance, and because reality doesn't cortort with your worldview, you choose to ignore it. Its kinda sad actually. You could make the philosophical argument that love is more complicated than it is, and I would even tend to agree with you. But the fact remains that the act of "being in love" is something that can be easily tested and measured. Sure, we don't have all the knowledge of why we're in love, or why brains work the way they do. And I doubt we ever will. That doesn't change facts. Of course its not always the same, but again, neurologists can easily tell the difference between loving someone, like a parent or a pet, and being in love with someone romantically. Different hormones are released at different levels. Its not about reading studies. Its about living the life that accompanies those studies. Please don't condescend to me when you knew absoultely nothing about me.
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  575.  @espy_alitrix3642  I'm sorry, but that is simply not true. You can most certainly love and be loyal to multiple partners, provided everyone is aware of the situation. Just because you can't imagine it doesn't mean it does not exist. I love both my partner and my husband more than I could ever describe to you, a love that is shared to me by both. No, cheating is going behind a person's back and being with a partner without the other partner knowing. My husband is not only aware of my partner, but is very good friends with him. Both provide me with support and love in different ways. Why must you be bound to only one person if thats not what makes you happy? If you lose your wife or husband, does that mean loving another person invalidate the relationship you had with them? No. Thats nonsense. Its the same principle. I don't see a lot of monogamous relationships working in a healthy manner. Cheating, divorce and domestic abuse are extremely commonplace. I can give my all to more than one person in different ways. You and I are different.
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  576. Just because someone is poly doesn't mean they can't marry or have someone that prioritizes them.
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  577.  @Ohfr_  Not necessarily.
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  578.  @Ohfr_  That's not true at all. The amount of love depends on the metamors and the polycule.
    1
  579.  @LemonAide  I've never had a conversation end so suddenly.
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  580.  @LemonAide  For starters, asexuals are attracted to people romantically. You don't have to be sexually intimate with a person to be romantic with them. Simple. I am romantically involved with my husband. We kiss, we cuddle, we hold hands. I wouldn't do that with my best friend.
    1
  581.  @LemonAide  I see that.
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  582.  @LemonAide  No, not necessarily. And I think people also misunderstand what asexuality is. It doesn't mean no sexual activity. It just means that I do not find any arousal in any sexual act, nor do I find my husband sexually attractive. You can have sex and be asexual. I don't think you would "hug and snuggle" a friend the way you would a romantic partner. If you want to call it sexual activity, that's fine. I still derive no turn on or pleasure from it. The best way I can put it is I am in love with my husband, whereas I am not in love with my friends.
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  583. A vast majority of polyamorous relationships are non-sexual. I've never had sex with my partner. That is reserved for my husband.
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  584. I am perfectly happy raising twins in a polyamorous relationship.
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  585. Been a married poly woman for nearly a decade. Ask me anything.
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  586. Its not wrong nor is it selfish. Its selfish to want to possess another person if they have love for more than one person. The thing to remember about polyamory is all parties need to be consenting. I love my husband and boyfriend more than almost anything, as they do me. Our relationship works.
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  587. This whole thing is a mess. First off, very few woman use abortion as birth control. Its expensive and isn't covered by health insurance. Secondly, most polyamorous relationships are closed relationships. You're right. If you fall for someone when you are monogamous and your partner is not, the relationship will not work. But that works both ways. Generalized statements are weak. I know plenty of women who struggle with relationships and sex, and know plenty of men who find it extremely easy to get laid. You kinda sound like an incel. No, your simply showing that you have fallen in love with more than one person. If 2 people make me equally happy, why should I be forced to pick between them? You clearly aren't aware how most open or poly relationships actually work...
    1
  588. Yes...?
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  589. The birth parents would legally have to hash it out.
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  590.  @thenrealitysaid3609  That isn't a point though. The pther parties are still involved in the child's life.
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  591. I don't have a mental problem just because I have a different perspective, asshole.
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  592. Being poly does not equate to cheating. Stop lying to spin a narrative.
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  593. Thats not true at all, as you can be in love with multiple people.
    1
  594.  @BaileyBaratheon  Yes, actually you can. Love: an intense feeling of deep affection. Where in that definition does it say it can only be reserved for one person? Or how about this? Love: feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone). Lust only applies to a sexual desire. So what if I have more than one partner, but only have a sexual desire for one of them? I only lust for one of them. Pull your head out of you archaic thinking and realize that not everyone is the same as you.
    1
  595.  @BaileyBaratheon  That is exactly what polyamory is. It is the state of people being in love with more than one person and all persons in the relationship are consensual. Thats fine. Thats because you are monogamous. I am not. I love both my husband and my partner equally, as they do me. And while I love them both, I have no sexual feelings towards my partner. I, personally, don't care what you believe. I felt terrible and selfish being in monogamous relationships. I don't feel comfortable with one person devoting everything to me, nor did my husband.
    1
  596.  @BaileyBaratheon  Then you and I can agree to disagree on that. No, he does offer me everything the need. The point is, I wanted another person to share that with, as did he. And that is why we have a 3rd partner. I've been married for nearly 6 years. I don't NEED to be with anyone else. I WANT to be. As does my husband. I have 2 children, who see both my husband (their father) and my partner as father figures. I understand that you can express your opinion. But expect backlash when you come off as ignorant and condescending.
    1
  597.  @BaileyBaratheon  Nope. I am in love with them in a strictly romantic sense. But I have no sexual desire towards them. Its love because I have a strong romantic attraction to them that you would not have with a friend.
    1
  598. What about being in love with multiple people immediately means mentally ill, std ridden and a whore? You are ignorant as hell.
    1
  599. Yes you can. Some people simply don't feel insecure of jealous.
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  600. What don't you understand?
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  601.  @adoredina339  It doesn't matter what you consider it. If everyone involved is consenting, then it can't be cheating.
    1
  602.  @matthewk1  Umm no? Because you wouldn't do either sexually or romantically with a partner(s) what you would do with a friend. I'm polyamorous and asexual.
    1
  603. That's not a word, nor does it mean what you think it means. But keep pretending that all polyamorous people sleep around.
    1
  604. What does being a hoe have to do with polyamory?
    1
  605.  @KysHome  Ignorance at its finest.
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  606.  @branchestarot  They aren't inside the same body.
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  607.  @branchestarot  You know, you should actually want to have a discussion instead of speaking nonsense. 1 of 12 what?
    1
  608. Yeah...I'd still be poly.
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  609. You'd be scientifically incorrect then.
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  610.  @chocolateprincess8543  Thats perfectly fine. But some can.
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  611. Genuine answer: I don't love one partner more than the other. People only assume that because they assume you cannot romantically love multiple people equally.
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  612. Thats because you are monogamous. You can be committed to more than one person.
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  613. Why? If people out there are happy, why can't they be loyal to more than one person?
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  614. That's called a cheater and it hurts just as much when a monogamous person pretends to be poly, just to call us nasty things.
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  615. "How do you feel gay at 5 years old" Becauae you are born with hormones that determine your sexual preference AT BIRTH. It was not put there. If you're gay, you will be gay regardless if you had anyone who was gay around. All love should be with whoever the hell you want it to be, assuming you have consent of your partner. You don't just live ONE of your kids. And while the part of the brain is different depending on if you love or are in love, the chemicals released are exactly the same, just in different levels. You're just ignorant. Admit it and learn.
    1
  616. Then you would settle down and start a family? I have a husband and a partner, as well as twins. Its not any different than a normal household, except there are two men in the house.
    1
  617.  @jeffreycraig4493  More than what? Another partner or me? If the latter, then I would respectfully decline. But my partner is asexual.
    1
  618.  @OK-pc1nt  Nope. I simply fell in love with more than one person, as he did with me, and both myself and my husband wanted him around. I'm perfectly content being on my own actually. Was an only child for most of my life, but if everyone's in love and happy, I fail to see a problem. I don't think you're a douche. People are curious.
    1
  619.  @OK-pc1nt  Yeah it tends to be. Polyamory doesn't necessarily mean an open relationship.
    1
  620. You can't love someone else until you learn to love yourself and ultimately, you come first in your own life. Thats not selfish. That's reality.
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  621. Polyamory is not an open relationship in all cases.
    1
  622.  @MsNikki527  She may be in an open relationship, but not all poly's are open, if that makes sense.
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  623. You say that as if you can't love or be in love with multiple people...
    1
  624.  @PhO3NiX96  Not true. In fact, verifiably not true. Its amazing we still live in a world where people don't understand that brains of those who are different orientations work differently. I would recommend researching brain scans of those that are polyamorous and reading some of the studies. Polyamory is possible. I happen to be polyamorous. I also don't have a primary partner. I live with both of my partners and am romantically attached to both.
    1
  625. We are animals. I'm sorry dear, but facts don't care about your feelings. Whether or not you feel something is unnatural doesn't make it so. I am not spread thin in my poly relationship. You are absolutely right about the divorce rate. But part of that is also being in a relationship that society accepts but that you are unhappy in. You are in a toxic situation if your story is true. Do not settle. By the way, you're not in a polyamorous relationship. You're with a player who wants his cake and eats it too. And you deserve better.
    1
  626. Thats just evidence that you know absoultely nothing about open relationships.
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  627. Thats because you aren't polyamorous. Monogomy, to me, sounds controlling and toxic. Its a matter of perspective.
    1
  628.  @andrewjohnson9014  Yes I have. I'm in one now. It sounds that way to me because I am not monogamous
    1
  629.  @sakithekeeper5331  Oh, so you're just an intolerant bigot. Excuse me for giving you the benefit of the doubt. Did you ever maybe think that we don't commit to one person because one person doesn't complete us? That maybe we're happier with multiple people? Who are you to say I don't cherish my partners? Sounds like you are the immature one. You realize that the consent of everyone is needed in a closed relationship right? Or do you just assume that all polyamorous relationships are open? You know mongomous people also carry STD's right?
    1
  630.  @sakithekeeper5331  Makes perfect sense to me. What's your issue?
    1
  631. Not necessarily.
    1
  632. Why does it bother you for me to be married to someone? I can't legally marry more than one person anyway.
    1
  633. There's nothing wrong with that.
    1
  634. Things are rarely what they appear to be. Polyamory is just being in a romantic relationship with more than one person.
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  635. Wait until you find out polyamorous asexuals exist...
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  636.  @3301-w5d  Because....love doesn't equal sexual attraction? You can be polyamorous, i.e. romantically in love with multiple people, and have no sexual attraction. I'm married, poly and ace. Its really not that complicated.
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  637.  @3301-w5d  No, because those who are polyamorous are romantically in love with multiple people, something people often say you cannot be. I am in love with both men I am with. I am romantically involved with them. But I have no sexual interest or desire in either of them, because I am asexual. I do not feel sexual attraction
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  638. Then you are just wrong. Wanna be monogamous? Then be monogamous.
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  639. And monogamous people are controlling and possessive.
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  640.  @TheLeadGamer10  you made my point for me. Just as its foolish to call all monogamous people possessive and controlling, its foolish to call all polyamorous people selfish. That is absolutely false, and you have no idea how polyamorous people function. You base what you know strictly on what a few people say.
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  641.  @TheLeadGamer10  Except that's not the intended nature of polyamorous relationships, and you would know that if you spent time actually talking to poly people instead of juding by ONE experience. That is not the way I view monogamous relationships. And that is not the way polyamorous relationships work either.
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  642. My children are just fine having 3 parents.
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  643.  @XOX-ZOMBIE-XOX  If you really think its just pretend, you're simply ignorant. Both of the men in my life are my children's father. They call them both Daddy. They love and provide for them. You don't have to be biologically related to be a "real parent"
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  644.  @XOX-ZOMBIE-XOX  It actually is. And I'm sorry you have such a problem with my relationship.
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  645.  @XOX-ZOMBIE-XOX  So because my kids are happy and loved, they have a problem? I'm sorry that you didn't experience that.
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  646. Funny. I feel the same way about most monogamous people. Must be a preference.
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  647.  @brittoncoil2518  Isn't that what you're just telling yourself as well though? You happen to find polyamorous people unattractive?
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  648.  @brittoncoil2518  Good to know you judge people you don't know based on an internet name. I have a husband though, so its not like your opinion matters.
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  649. I'm poly with two kids. What would you like to know?
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  650. No, not necessarily. That is the way the brain is wired. Its a sexual preference. The only thing you can do is have a responsible conversation. Being in love and committed has no bearing on partners.
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  651. Why? Because I am happy with more than one person? Why does that bother you?
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  652.  @SarahSarah-hp7sm  The person who says that they can't stand a group of people because they're different thinks I need to grow up? How ironic.
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  653.  @churka5984  I am in a most committed, fulfilling and loving relationship with my husband and my partner than any of my "monogamous" friends. Whats dishonest is for you to just assume that being monogamous means you're more committed.
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  654. So loving more than one person makes me narcissistic amd insecure? Sounds like projection.
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  655. Why can you not be committed to multiple people? Thats ridiculous.
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  656. You don't have to be monogamous for them. I'm poly and married with 2 children who are amazing and loving. Its about not being a shitty parent.
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  657.  @dallasisbetter3241  Nope, my husband is perfectly happy in the relationship as am I. I would raise my son or daughter to be in whatever relationship he was comfortable with. Whether that be in a monogamous or polyamorous relationship. I've seen both work and I've seen both fail. Its not about raising them to believe a certain way. Its about showing them that there is more than one way to be in a happy and healthy relationship. Humans are smart if you don't stack the deck against them. Sorry, but you're completely ignorant on the subject.
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  658. I trust myself completely. I just love more than one person. I don't like monogamous relationships. They feel controlling to me. What's wrong with that?
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  659. I'm in a polyamorous relationship and have 2 wonderful children. Your argument is invalid.
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  660. So its selfish to be happy? Especially at no cost to another person?
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  661. No. That wouldn't be fair my partner. However, a polyamorous person can be in a Y polycule with monogamous people. I would just never make my partner be something he isn't.
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