Comments by "TombWraith" (@Tomb-Wraith) on "Polyamory vs Monogamy: Is Monogamy Unrealistic? | Middle Ground" video.

  1. But why should you have to commit to one person if you love more than one person?
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  2. How is it cheating if everyone consents? That...wouldn't be cheating.
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  3. @mikaylacabrera7961  Or, I don't know, commit to the people who make you happy? Even if its more than one person? I'm saddened that people think polyamorous love is just "lust" and is somehow worse.
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  4.  @brycejackson9805  But that doesn't fit the definition of cheating.
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  5. Yeah no. Not necessarily. For most polyamorous people, it doesn't work that way at all. Its a union between the people in the polycule.
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  6. So people minding their own business....being happy...is somehow degenerate? You sound like such a fun person...
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  7. @user-tn2pz7ze2o  Absolutely scientifically untrue. The "vow" depends entirely on your religious beliefs. Maybe I have multiple people that fill needs better than a single person does on their own. Why do you care?
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  8. You can't cheat if everyone in the relationship consents. How is it cheating if its what you and your partner want?
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  9. You could make that argument for any relationship.
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  10. Unfortunately, thats just a personal anecdote. If they want to suddenly be exclusive, they were probably never polyamorous in the first place. I'm poly, and I truly couldn't choose between my husband and my partner. They are both on equal footing to me. I love them both more than almost anything.
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  11.  @naudalyke  No! I never got that impression at all. I understand that truly most people simply don't get it, because its hard to understand something you don't experience! Thank you very much. Its so nice to see more tolerant people.
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  12. As if you are egotistical just because your poly? Or can't be egotistical if your monogamous?
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  13. You can't cheat in a relationship that everyone agrees and consents to. That would be like saying monogomy is a fancy way of saying controlling or ownership.
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  14. Since when does a relationship have to be exclusive? You don't have exclusive relationships in any other context. Its simply about what you and your partner want and find most fulfilling.
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  15.  @peachiiejisoo5216  Exactly. So if everyone consents, you can't cheat. I don't understand how that isn't clear to you. Polyamory isn't cheating. You can cheat in a polyamorous relationship, but itself is not cheating.
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  16.  @huntertuggle2667  As someone who's polyamorous, no. I don't find that naive.
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  17. Children do not care about the affection one gives a partner unless you teach them to care. Its interesting that you must assume that having "mom and dad" is the only "non-chaotic recipe", when I can assure you that is not at all true. You can be in a stable home without a parent, with same sex parents, or with polyamorous parents.
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  18. Children will say mean things regardless of parents. As a polyamorous parent, I simply teach my children that every family is different, and that is okay. That regardless of what others think, we love and support them. In other words "sounds like a you problem."
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  19. You're not mentally ill for loving multiple people and even if you were, the majority of the human species is mentally ill.
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  20. And how would that be? Because I'm sure there are outliers.
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  21. I'm polyamorous and asexual. I've been married for over half a decade. You can be different and be functional. People have so many misunderstandings about what polyamory actually is. More than willing to answer questions, and am not afraid of criticism.
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  22. Your bigotry is showing.
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  23.  @Jadenmic  I don't really care what you believe, because science disagrees with you. I don't care about either of my partners more. We spend all our time together. Now, do I speak for all relationships? No. Just my own.
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  24.  @Jadenmic  You can literally look up brain scans of those of us who are polyamorous. Plenty of interviews with neuroscientists as well. The brain is a complicated thing.
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  25.  @brycejackson9805  Sleeping with more than one person when everyone is okay with it isn't cheating. Not saying you can't cheat in a polyamorous relationship. Just because you don't like that poly relationships are valid doesn't mean you can lie.
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  26.  @naturalstrength8393  The fact that I married one of them and am in a serious relationship with both of them makes them my partners. I'm asexual, so sex isn't a thing. That removes the friends with benefits idea. And I don't have the relationship with either of my partners that you would with a friend. So no, polyamory isn't just friends with benefits. I am deeply in love and committed to my partners. I just happen to have that love for 2 people instead of 1. It is possible, and my relationship has lasted a hell of a lot longer than several monogamous marriages I know. I understand how this is strange to someone who is monogamous, but your feelings and confusion shouldn't justify putting down other people's relationships.
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  27. You want to talk to a polyamorous person who can actually form a cohesive argument?
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  28. There is no clear definition of love. There's a literal definition, and then everyone's personal.
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  29. We love misplaced sterotypical projection.
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  30.  @Leafygreenie  Sounds like someone is projecting negativity because they themselves are unhappy.
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  31.  @Leafygreenie  Well, what else what it mean? Why do you find people who are different than you disgusting? You seem like a reasonable individual.
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  32. Hello there. I'm an asexual person. How can I help you?
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  33. How...? If that were true, than monogamy is possessiveness.
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  34. If you're in a polyamorous relationship and it feels more comfortable than a monogamous one.
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  35.  @horrorfreaks  While I understand where you are coming from, the problem with this is it fails to take into account that all members want to be in this polyamorous relationship. Its not like 1 person is poly and the others are monogamous. It isn't a need to be with more than one person. Its a want. A desire to have multiple partners. It doesn't have anything to do with lacking anything, at least not in general. I just would say I don't think its a bad thing to think about yourself first.
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  36. @gimmethespaghetti  understand, but thats why I used the word "maybe" to leave it ambiguous. People are not created equal and I'm sure in some relationships, a partner essentially "fills a void." Personally, thats not how my relationship works. I simply found two people I was deeply in love with, and didn't see why I had to choose between them. They were both happy with me, and wanted me equally.
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  37. There's no way to measure that without generalizing. I've lasted a hell of a lot longer than a lot of monogamous people I know.
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  38. Objectively not true. We can prove it through brain scans. Some people simply fall in love with multiple people. I find both of my partners fulfilling and feel more fulfilled together than I do with them individually.
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  39.  @crystalchandelier22  If that's really how you see polyamory, I can't help you. I love both my partners to the same degree, and get more fufillment out of the three of us together than I do with them individually.
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  40. Not true at all. Perfectly easy to have equal groundwork with multiple people. Its just hard work.
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  41.  @noskpain2792  Polygamy and polyamory are different things. I am polyamorous but not polygamous. Though to be fair, I would be polygamous if it were allowed. It should be recognized. Because its real.
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  42.  @noskpain2792  Again, that bears no meaning to the conversation. You can be polyamorous. You just can only legally marry one spouse. That's my current situation.
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