Youtube comments of (@psychacks).

  1. Men and women love differently. Feminine love is consumptive: it wants as much of you inside of her as possible. However, when it is actually successful in its objective, it grows disinterested in that which it was once fascinated by. It falls to men to hold the line against this consumption for the good of both parties, which will require them to occasionally disappoint their women. Those who fail to develop this skill will learn to regret it. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #women #relationship
    1000
  2. This is a dishonest question that women often use against men who express too much interest or enthusiasm for the sexual dimension of their relationships. While I believe I can appreciate women's concerns in this regard, the fact of the matter is that sexual relationships are the only socially-acceptable place for men to get their sexual needs met. So bringing their interest and enthusiasm to these relationships is entirely appropriate. And what women seem to fail to appreciate is that almost every other transacted value in their sexual relationship can be gratified elsewhere. Sexual relationships are a specialty business -- and it's not wise to shame one's customers. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #women #relationship #psychology
    962
  3. For what it's worth, in my experience, most people aren't really conscious of their own motivations. And most reinforcement schedules occur beneath the threshold of awareness.
    824
  4. Why is it the case that physical attractiveness and mental instability so often seem to go together in women? The answer is simple: no one tells beautiful women the truth. Since most men want to sleep with beautiful women, and the truth does not get men laid, men will consistently sacrifice the truth in the service of their sexual self-interest. As a result, these women often develop a model of reality that can be very misaligned with the way things really are. This is why beautiful women are nuts. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #women
    719
  5. I think there's some truth to that.
    673
  6. There is a contemporary crisis in masculinity. Whereas 100 years ago, everyone seemed to take it for granted what it meant to be a man, today the topic is rife with dissention and speculation. Unfortunately, much of the advice men hear today pertains to what I call "performative masculinity": a suite of behaviors that can be learned to communicate masculinity socially. While there is nothing wrong with this, such advice fails to cut to the heart of the matter. In today's episode, I discuss the two attributes of "essential masculinity". Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #men #masculinity
    587
  7. One of the reasons by women disproportionately end relationships is that they don't have to work for the relationships they have. Whereas most women make men work for sex, most men do not make women work for commitment: they hand it to them on a silver platter lest they jeopardize the sexual opportunity. Like many things in life, it's easy come, easy go. If you want a woman to fight for her relationship, then you have to make her work for it. Patrice O'Neal: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6KzCfIYArmQ Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #women
    523
  8. I agree with that
    482
  9. Most women find male anger terrifying -- which is why it is both tragic and ironic that they often play a part in encouraging it in their primary relationships. In effect, women inadvertently train men to be angry when they ignore, disrespect, or invalidate men who first attempt to communicate non-aggressively. If women only take men's complaints seriously when they escalate to aggression, then they reward men for aggressiveness, making it more likely that aggression will be utilized in the future. I discuss this phenomenon using an example from my own dating history. Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #pubgmobile #relationship #dating
    477
  10. Awareness of some of the realities of female mating and dating behavior -- including hypergamy -- is at an all-time high. However, many men still entertain misconceptions about this information. In today's episode, I will address two of the most prevalent: the belief that hypergamy directly benefits women, and the belief that being high-value creates effortless sexual opportunity. These two misconceptions roughly accord with the two general male responses to hypergamy: despair and desire. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #men
    423
  11. While women have long ago realized the importance of vetting men, most men do not intentionally screen women before entering into sexual relationships with them. This is largely due to poor optionality, which is just happy to be given an opportunity at all. Unfortunately, this significantly increases the likelihood that men will become involved with difficult, damaged, or dangerous women over a long enough timeline. In this episode, I discuss the importance of screening women and provide one concrete way to do this. Don't be afraid to test her. Join my community: https://the-captains-quarters.mn.co Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #women
    422
  12. I often hear men complaining that they can't find women willing to provide value to their lives. However, in my experience, women want to care for you -- provided you offer a sufficiently attractive relationship opportunity. And one of the best ways for men to determine the extent of this desire is to ask women to do things for them as early in the courtship process as possible. Put her to work: you will either get what you want or force her to reveal her true intentions. Join my community: https://the-captains-quarters.mn.co Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #dating
    403
  13. Learning how to keep your cool when women become difficult or provocative is an emotional survival strategy. Failing to master this skill is an invitation to hardship and regret. The strategy is simple: no matter what woman you're dealing with, and no matter what a woman tells you, to the extent that she becomes emotional, you need to mentally create a verbal sandwich around her words. I'll demonstrate what this looks like in today's episode. Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Join my mailing list: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/ Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #women
    389
  14. Men don't approach marriage the same way that women do. Given the enormous risk and responsibility entailed, most men will only consider the possibility of marriage when everything in their life is working. This means that they have arrived at some measure of professional success and financial security, and that there are no significant problems in their relationships. In order to get married, it's much more important that women be unproblematic than highly desirable. Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #relationship #marriage #men
    382
  15. It has been many years since I last fought with a woman, and I'd very much like to keep it that way. Today, I'm going to share my secret with you. It's important to appreciate that one of the attributes of the feminine is to magnify and reflect. Femininity takes what it receives, makes it bigger, and gives it back to you. With this in mind, the best way to avoid conflict with a woman is to clarify (i.e., clean up) your tone. Remove every hint of frustration and judgment from your voice, and you'll have a much easier time of things. Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
    368
  16. The rates of sex and marriage -- especially among young adults -- have fallen to historically unprecedented lows and show no signs of stopping. Why is this happening? My theory is that most people don't really want relationships. Rather: they want what relationships can get them. And if they can get those things more easily, more cheaply, and more safely in other places than relationships, they will do so. In this episode, I make a case that this is precisely what men and women are doing, albeit in different ways. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #relationship #psychology #dating
    363
  17. Have you ever wondered why your woman seems to create unnecessary difficulties? Why is it that she can become so provocative, seemingly out of the blue? In this episode, I discuss the counterintuitive explanation for why many women pick fights with their partners. Though it might sound strange, anger is actually reassuring, as it demonstrates a person is still sufficiently emotionally invested to fight. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #women
    354
  18. A common refrain that I hear in my consultations with women is a disinterest in performing "low-value" work in their relationships. This can include things like cooking, cleaning, and (in some cases) sex. They often believe that doing this work makes them a "maid" or a "mommy" (or a "sex worker"), and that they would prefer to be utilized in a "higher-value" capacity. To save women the trouble, I decided to make an episode on my general response to this complaint. Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
    349
  19. This is the first episode of a three-part series on why successful men use escorts. It turns out that the rich and the beautiful have something in common when it comes to the game of mating and dating: they can both inadvertently price themselves out of the sexual marketplace. By understanding how traditional dating becomes increasingly expensive as a function of a man's success, women can better position themselves to target successful men for relationships, if they so choose. Pre-order my book: https://amzn.to/3UlsTsY Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
    347
  20. Good point. Stay tuned for the next two parts.
    343
  21. Good to have you, Richard. A hundred years ago, husbands had complete control over their wives' finances. And one of the primary goals of second-wave feminism was to support the financial independence of women, because they (rightly) understood that that level of power and control over another person tends to corrupt and distort a person over time. Today, husbands have relinquished their monopoly over their wives' finances, but wives continue to enjoy a monopoly over their husbands' sexuality. This level of power and control tends to corrupt and distort a person over time.
    339
  22. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. I'm 40 years-old, and I can count the number of apologies I've received from women over the course of my life on one hand. Surprisingly, this is not due to the fact that I have always interacted with virtuous, high-quality, well-behaving women. For whatever reason, women seem to find it particularly difficult to apologize to men -- and this is really too bad. In this episode, I'll discuss the nature of the difficulty, and why it would be in women's best interests to apologize more often. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com #relationship #women #dating
    312
  23. I made an episode on that: "Women's greatest enemy"
    311
  24.  @akam9919  Actually, sex is the point of marriage; or, at least, it was. Marriage started as a ritualized entry into sex for the purpose of reproduction. This is why proof that the marriage was never "consummated" has always been a legitimate ground for annulment. No sex = no marriage.
    310
  25. Frame is a very important concept with respect to relationships. It's a bit hard to define, but I consider frame to be the "world" of the relationship. Without realizing it, most men are in the woman's frame. In this episode, I explain what this looks like using an anonymized example from a recent consultation. The details may change, but the situation is one in which millions of men find themselves today. Fortunately, if you lose frame, it's possible to reclaim it. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
    303
  26. When people first meet you, they look to you to teach them about how they should feel about you. This is because, it's actually fairly difficult for most people to make up their own minds: so they're going to need your help. This is your opportunity! The key to getting people to feel positively about you is to imagine that you are world's greatest vacuum cleaner salesman. I'll explain what that means in this episode. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #confidence
    302
  27. Thanks for the love, Daniel. All the best.
    294
  28. One way or another, men pay to access the opportunity for sex with women. And it is often the case that the more transactional the relationship becomes, the less men actually pay. This is because the value of the time, energy, money, and opportunity spent in less transactional relationships is generally greater than the value of the money spent in more transactional relationships. However, the higher a given woman's attraction, the greater the discount she will generally offer to access the sexual opportunity. The more a man pays, the less the woman likes him. Jack Reacher: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAA6hxQgTjQ Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #women
    290
  29. If you're a man considering going down the path of marriage and children, it is essential that you learn how to maintain a woman's long-term commitment. This is because the more you invest in any one woman, the more leveraged you are and the riskier that relationship becomes, especially in contemporary society. The key to maintaining that commitment is to understand that everything you've ever done for a woman is irrelevant. I explain more in this episode. Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Join my mailing list: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/ Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #women
    282
  30. The risk of not trying has no reward. You can't not risk. At least risk where there is a chance of reward.
    278
  31. It is extremely important that men resist becoming emotionally attached to any given woman until she has been appropriately vetted for a relationship. If they allow their attraction to dictate their emotional involvement, then they might eventually have to choose between what is right and good for them, and what they have already decided to love. This is a painful choice that can be avoided with a little restraint and discernment. In this episode, I'll talk about how to do this. Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
    270
  32. The myth of the natural is just that: a myth. Success with women is not something some men are born with -- it is something that some men choose to cultivate. However, the process of developing this suite of skills is painful and expensive. What would sufficiently motivate a man to do so? The truth is that most players are nice guys who were hurt one too many times and decided to do something about it. I explain this process using one of my favorite films, "2046" by Wong Kar-Wai. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by @valntinomusic. Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #dating #psychology #men
    264
  33. Time to talk about the red pill. For the purposes of this discussion, I'm defining the red pill as a set of knowledge and know-how pertaining to men's place in society and to intersexual dynamics, in particular. In many respects, the red pill can be likened to a spiritual transformation, in that -- having undergone it -- the person is no longer who he once was. In light of this, I'm going to offer two teachings that -- while originally rooted in spirituality -- are usefully applicable to the red pill. My argument is that, ultimately, the red pill exists to facilitate fulfilling relationships. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #redpill #psychology #relationship
    239
  34. This might sound odd coming from a therapist, but talking -- especially in the context of intimate relationships -- is overrated. While talking is the most effective strategy for dealing with some issues (e.g., logistics), it is woefully inadequate for solving most of the problems encountered in relationships. In fact, to the extent that talking changes behavior, this is often due to the punitive nature of talking, as opposed to the understanding that talking seems to provide. Furthermore, nearly everything that people seek out in their relationships can be communicated non-verbally. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #communication
    237
  35. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. What most people don't understand is that disrespect is a process. The best predictor of overt disrespect is covert disrespect. And this is why it is important to address disrespectful behavior while it is still in its nascent form. Failing to do so will jeopardize your relationship, primarily due to the fact that it is not possible for a woman to love a man she does not respect. I will discuss further in this episode. Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com #respect #women #relationship
    237
  36. Yes -- it's a complex, multidetermined issue. My goal in an eight-minute video is not to provide a comprehensive treatment on a subject, but to help people see one thing in a slightly different way. I would also argue that the power of an idea (over and above one's hormonal levels or childhood history) is not to be underestimated.
    235
  37. In my model on the balance of attraction, I note that -- since it isn't possible for two people to like each other exactly the same amount -- one person (the adorer) must like the other person more, and one person (the adored) must like the other person less. While these two positions are gender neutral, I make the argument in this episode that it is actually better for women to be in the position of the adorer. This is due to the fact that adorers experience the lion's share of emotionality in a relationship, and women tend to mate and date up (suggesting that they actually want to look up to a man). Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode #attraction #women #relationship
    233
  38. Why is it that your best efforts are often repaid with indifference, rejection, and contempt? This is a complicated phenomenon, but we can view one possible explanation through the lens of the balance of attraction. In turns out that people have preferences with respect both to the position they would rather occupy, and to the size of the gap they would like to experience. Being nice to others puts the other in the place of the adored and increases the gap of attraction. Negativity in response to this behavior is an attempt to recalibrate the gap back to acceptable limits. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #attraction #relationship #dating
    222
  39. Learning to love yourself is extremely important, because where you go, there you are. If your self is cruel and self-loathing, you can exist in the midst of peace and pleasure without benefitting in the slightest. In today's episode, I will give you three simple steps to overcome self-hatred and move in the direction of self-love. They do not require expensive therapy sessions, and you can put them into practice today. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #selfcare #selfimprovement
    219
  40. Make no mistake: sex is important to women. However, as important as it is, it's not as important to women as it is to men. In this episode, I'll attempt to explain why sex is so important to men, and why it's the key to keeping men in your life. To do this, I'll make use of an analogy from the other big pillar of adult life: work. In the hierarchy of needs, it makes sense to prioritize those that are unique to a given relationship. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com
    218
  41. For perhaps the first time in a very long time, we have arrived at the point where men and women don't need each other anymore. For society to function, women need lots of men around, but a given woman doesn't need her own man. For civilization to continue, men need lots of women around, but a given man doesn't need his own woman. In this episode, I discuss some of the consequences of replacing necessity with desire. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #men #women
    214
  42. Modern women seem to be on the horns of a two-pronged dilemma. On the one hand, they lament the diminishing pool of high-value men with whom they might satisfy their hypergamy. And on the other hand, they reject the distasteful possibility that they might partner with a lower-value man. "If I provide the money and the lifestyle and the responsibility and the competence," they might think, "then why bother with relationships at all? What do I get out of it?" When I hear this complaint, I can't help but smile, because they are on the cusp of understanding. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #women #relationship #psychology
    213
  43. Sexless marriage is a depressingly common phenomenon and not one that is well understood. My take is fairly unconventional, namely: refusing to have sex in an exclusive, monogamous relationship by unilateral decision is a form of cheating. This is because the “mono” in “monogamy” mean “one.” So cheating in monogamous relationships occurs when someone isn't having sex with one person – and fewer than one person is as much not one person as more than one person is. In this episode, I unpack some of the consequences of this understanding. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #marriage #relationship
    207
  44. That does seem to be what happens. Even in the comments here, many women have said something like: "I did that once. Now I like nice guys."
    205
  45. This is a phrase I have heard many, many times over the course of my dating history. You would be forgiven for thinking that the person who says this is ready to "cut to the chase:" to dispense with all the courtship nonsense and negotiate a relationship. However, this is not the case. "I don't play games" really means "hurry up, and give me what I want" -- which is a tactic in the game of relationships. Be very wary of those who profess not to play games. Most likely, they can't afford to pay the sticker price. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
    204
  46. This is true. And, in my experience, people who have encouraged me to open up to them in the past have lost respect and attraction for me when I did. This is one of the reasons why I think a confidential relationship apart from the rest of your life (like with a therapist) can be useful.
    203
  47. It's never a good idea to fight to keep people in your life, or (to put it another way) to stop people from leaving the relationship. This is not only because it rarely works, but because -- when it does work -- you end up with something that isn't worth fighting for: a high-conflict and unstable relationship. If someone tries to walk out of your life, let them. Don't chase them down. Anyone who walks out must decide to walk back in. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #family
    201
  48. This is an episode for the ladies. As I've mentioned elsewhere, the one thing you must never do to the man with whom you want to have a relationship is disrespect him. Unfortunately, respect can mean different things to men and women -- so it's important for women to appreciate respect through the masculine lens so that they can stay on the sunny side of the unbreakable rule. The fact of the matter is that women unintentionally sabotage their relationships when they disrespect men without realizing it. As we'll see, most of these unintentional slights have to do with placing themselves above men. Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #dating
    201
  49. The fact of the matter is that the conventional roadmap provided by culture isn't going to work for a lot of people. If you want a custom-tailored life, you have to be prepared to build it for yourself. The issue is that the more you deviate from the well-trodden path, the less you will be comprehensible to those around you. This means that the cost of living your own life is the approval of others. I discuss more in this episode. Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #selfimprovement
    200
  50. The one thing that most prevents women from having the relationships they want with the men they want to have them with is pride. In this episode, I discuss three ways in which this pride tends to manifest in the game of mating and dating: in misappraising their value, in disparaging male attraction, and in deprecating the domestic. For women, humility is the pathway to more satisfying relationships with men. Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #women #relationship
    195
  51. The number of a woman's previous sexual partners is often of interest to the men she dates. However, it's not immediately apparent why that should be the case. I argue that the sheer number might not be as important as many men believe, as this is actually being used as a heuristic to gauge other attributes of the woman in question, namely: her attraction and her ability to pair bond. I also discuss a surprising way in which a woman's sexual history comes to bear on relationship longevity. Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
    193
  52. The stereotypical midlife crisis looks like a man leaving his wife and kids, buying a sports car, and shacking up with a younger lover. What causes this phenomenon? And why does it mostly seem to impact men? In this episode, I argue that the men most at risk for midlife crises are the rule-following and duty-conscious sort, who have spent most of their conscious lives acting responsibly. To avoid this outcome, it's important for men to practice what I call "creative selfishness," and to enjoy the fruits of their labor along the way. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #men #mentalhealth
    192
  53. In today's episode, I'm going to explain why so many decent guys end up in unsatisfying relationships. These unattractive men represent good provider options for women who can't secure long-term partnerships with their preferred mates. Unaccustomed to any attention from women, these men secure relationships on disadvantageous terms at the slightest signs of interest, which I call "a feast of crumbs." This is how men get used. Join my community: https://the-captains-quarters.mn.co Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #relationship #psychology #marriage
    192
  54. Most people on the planet are subject to a delusion so prevalent that it is functionally invisible. In so many words, the delusion is that one's judgments about reality inhere in reality, itself. It kinda works like this: people judge phenomena according to egocentric standards, project those judgments into reality, block awareness of that projection, and then mistake their projected judgments for empirical observations. This transforms the universe into a hall of mirrors, which is the narcissistic dilemma. The way out is through awareness. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #awareness #crazy
    188
  55. After consulting with thousands of men, I've discovered that many of them are complicit in creating the relationship dysfunction of which they complain. By rewarding bad behavior, men unintentionally reinforce their own suffering in a process I call "creating a monster." This is how men ruin their marriages. Alternatively, men would be better off giving in as quickly as possible or holding the line no matter what. Join my community: https://the-captains-quarters.mn.co Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #marriage
    188
  56. I strongly recommend that a man should clarify his intentions with respect to any given woman in his life before he interacts with her. This gives him coherence with respect to his words and actions, and makes it much more likely that he will get what he wants. A man who does not have a plan for his life will end up a part of someone else's plan. When it comes to women, this generally happens as a result of a phenomenon called "relationship creep." I explain more in this episode. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #dating #relationship #women
    183
  57. While the overwhelming response to my channel has been extremely positive, a small proportion of the feedback I receive is exceptionally negative. And this feedback invariably concerns my views on intrasexual dynamics. This doesn't necessarily bother me, but it is an interesting phenomenon. In this episode, I attempt to explain why this content can be such a bitter pill for some people to swallow. Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Join my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
    180
  58. It's come to my attention that -- when it comes to relationships -- many women are not very good at sealing the deal. This is because women don't close. Like bad salesmen, they tend to lead with what they want, which is unlikely to end with a sale. For better or worse, what you want doesn't matter. Rather, it's a good idea to lead with what the other person wants and frame what you want as a means to that end. Join my community: https://the-captains-quarters.mn.co Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #women
    177
  59. Though it may seem hard to believe, men's predominant romantic fantasy – at least when it comes to their sexual relationships with women – is partnership. Despite what they may say, most women don't want an equal partner – they want men who will significantly improve the quality of their lives. And it is very difficult – if not impossible – for a man to simultaneously be an equal partner and a better option. While partnership is possible, it's typically easier for most men to have that kind of relationship with other men than with a woman. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #marriage
    176
  60. The truth about good relationships is that good relationships are boring. No one particularly likes to admit this, but that doesn't change the fact of the matter. Good relationships are stable, reliable, predictable, and free of drama. This is neither particularly interesting nor exciting. In general, one's capacity to have a good relationship is directly correlated with one's ability to tolerate boredom. Using Yasujiro Ozu's metaphor for marriage -- the flavor of tea over rice -- we can appreciate the humble simplicity that characterizes a good relationship. Join my community: https://the-captains-quarters.mn.co Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #marriage #relationship
    176
  61. On a first date, too many men snatch defeat from the jaws of success. In today's episode, I discuss why a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, and why many guys talk their way out of a sexual opportunity. In their desire to impress women, men come off as boring, boorish, and self-centered. However, by learning the importance of maintaining women's fantasies intact, they'll be able to turn their franchises around. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #dating #psychology #relationship
    172
  62.  @jerryjessup9192  I've been known to dabble in the humor.
    171
  63. The internet is full of information regarding the red flags of dating. Since this knowledge is widely available, why do men still end up in relationships with toxic women? The uncomfortable truth is that -- for a lot men -- it's not so much that they act in spite of the red flags, but that they act because of them. Secure, emotionally-stable, high-functioning men do not tend to end up with train wrecks. Using my own experience, in this episode I speak to how men are complicit in their own undoing when they refuse to acknowledge and heal their emotional wounding. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
    169
  64. Why is it the case that success and selfishness so often seem to go together in men? The answer is simple: men don't really want to romance women. When they are unable to provide the lifestyle and provision for which women typically select, men adopt romantic consideration as a kind of virtuous necessity in the service of their goals. However, once they become successful, they believe that they should be able to dispense with the courtship drudgery they never wanted to do in the first place. This is why successful men are jerks. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #men
    168
  65. Many people misunderstand game to be a suite of gimmicky tactics or the Machiavellian manipulation of another. While these exist, this is not what game truly is. Game is the ability to effectively seduce, and play is the essence of game. Play is neither frivolous nor silly. It is the ability to create a separate reality that is only accessible to the initiated and in which the objects of play come to assume special significance. This is the heart and soul of seduction, and anyone who can do this well has game. Join my community: https://the-captains-quarters.mn.co Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #play
    168
  66. Life is too short to spend it with those who don't see your value.
    166
  67. This is the second part in my three-part series on why successful men use escorts. There is a reason very beautiful women aren't on dating apps. Much like very successful men, exceptionally beautiful men are priced out of the sexual marketplace as traditional dating becomes increasingly expensive for them. The $50,000 beer exemplifies how opportunity cost can influence behavior among these populations to a greater extent than can intrinsic personality factors. Differences between scarcity and abundance mentality are also discussed. Pre-order my book: https://amzn.to/3UlsTsY Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
    164
  68. Is it merely a coincidence that women's success in the West has coincided with the widespread use of tactics designed to demotivate men? Using an anecdote from my own life -- the Easter egg hunt -- I discuss the PSA (pity, shame, anger) strategy to alter male behavior in the service of female achievement. This is how women get men to lose. Unfortunately, the use of this strategy is ultimately counterproductive for women, as it undermines their social success. Join my community: https://the-captains-quarters.mn.co Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #women #success
    162
  69. Women are the gatekeepers of sex; men are the gatekeepers of relationship.
    159
  70. Men often complain that it's always the women they don't particularly like who seem to pursue them for relationships, while the women they want to engage always seem to slip through their fingers. This is because men do the right things with the wrong women. In this episode, I'll discuss a number of ways this occurs in the courtship process, while providing a general prescription for this difficulty. Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #men
    157
  71. A client who believed that the juice isn't worth the squeeze once asked me what I personally get out of my relationships with women. This episode functionally summarizes my response, namely: a woman is the cherry on top. Strictly speaking, a cherry isn't necessary for a sundae – but it can help to perfect one. Making peace with the fact that modern women – like maraschino cherries – are luxury goods will help men withhold unreasonable expectations about what they can (and cannot) provide. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
    153
  72. I might take some heat for this one, but I'm not a big fan of couples therapy -- mostly because I haven't seen it associated with a very high rate of success. In this episode, I give several reasons why this may be the case, and argue that -- if therapy is needed -- most issues can be more productively addressed in individual counseling. It's very hard to tell the truth that one person can hear; it's almost impossible to tell the truth that two people can hear simultaneously. Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #therapy #relationship
    152
  73. Modern dating doesn't just mean hook-up culture or sliding into someone's DMs. It represents a sea change in the way that men and women interact with each other, and what each has come to expect from a relationship. For better or worse, it's permeated nearly all forms of dating and probably isn't going anywhere any time soon. In today's day and age, the best way to date "old school" is to date within established, values-driven communities. This could mean a religious community (e.g., church, temple, sangha, faith-based activity groups), or a tightly-knit ethnic community (e.g., campus organizations, expat/immigrant communities, cultural groups). Basically, the key is for other people to know you and know what you're up to. Bad behavior of all kinds thrives in anonymity. The second question is a bit complicated, and can't really be answered in a comment. You might want to consider sponsoring an episode on the subject. It's a good one.
    152
  74. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. This one is for the ladies. In this episode, I'll explain how you may be inadvertently messing up with the men you actually want to keep in your life. Most women punish the men they like, and this behavior can drive away the ones you want to stay. Absenting an explicit commitment to the contrary, if a certain behavior wouldn't bother you coming from a man you could take or leave, you shouldn't let it bother you coming from a man you really like. This doesn't mean putting up with bad behavior. It means that the definition of bad behavior doesn't change depending on your feelings. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com
    151
  75. The general trend in long-term relationships is for the frequency and intensity of sex to decline as a function of time. Why is this the case? It turns out that sex is an extremely complex behavior: it's not just about pleasure and reproduction. One of its primary functions is to facilitate emotional bonding. This is why sex is typically hot and heavy at the beginning of the courtship process, when no bond as yet exists. Creating a stable and secure relationship -- paradoxically -- eliminates one of the primary functions of sex: it works toward its own obsolesce. This is why space and separation are necessary to keep the passion alive. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #marriage #relationship
    149
  76. Success in any game does not depend on gratitude. This means that you cannot hope to secure a positive outcome on the basis of the good you've already done, or the value you've already provided. This will be a bitter pill for many to swallow. On the other hand, what does consistently associate with positive outcome is power: the ability to implement future rewards and punishments. If you can no longer benefit or harm another person, then you become irrelevant. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by @valntinomusic. Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #power #success
    148
  77. In today's episode, I expose that old attraction proxy: money. Many men erroneously believe that they need money in order to access women, and that simply having money will attract women to them. Neither of these is true. On the other hand, there are three things that actually do work to attract women -- and none of them cost you a dime. Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
    148
  78. The internet abounds with advice for men looking to become more dominant, more alpha. And almost all of this advice includes directives to get bigger, get stronger. While this is certainly a worthwhile goal, this direction can do men a disservice by equating physical presence with dominance. This is not the case. Dominance is psychological, not physical. And you already know this is true. The contest for dominance is fought on the psychological field in society. So do not neglect this important reality. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com
    148
  79. That's how a lot of men read that phrase, which is why I try to teach women to avoid it. I got a lot of pushback from them though.
    146
  80. Many women believe that a man will not respect them -- or consider them for a long-term relationship -- if she is too "easy" in the courtship process. This is not true. When it comes to their relationships, men don't want a challenge. This is because -- when it comes to the average man -- his life is hard enough. While men might need a chase, they are not looking for a woman to complicate their lives. Join my community: https://the-captains-quarters.mn.co Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #women
    146
  81. Most men have approach anxiety. There are many recent contributors to this anxiety -- such as the fear of being "cancelled" for their attraction -- but the root causes of this fear are much deeper. In today's episode, I make the case that -- on an unconscious level -- female rejection is tantamount to the judgment that a man does not deserve to exist because his genetics don't merit perpetuation. This has caused some men to idealize women to divine proportions in their romantic imagination, as they have been endowed with the capacity to determine which men have "the right stuff." Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #women #dating
    145
  82. The contemporary sexual marketplace is witnessing a Mexican standoff between men and women. Women want men to "do better," and men want women to be reasonable. Both sides are increasingly comfortable remaining single until their demands are met. In this episode, I discuss the way out of this standoff by examining how the power differential between men and women changes as a function of time. If your house is on fire, then you need to be a motivated seller. Pre-order my book: https://amzn.to/3UlsTsY Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #dating #men #women
    145
  83. Women often complain that the men they're not really interested in always seem to come back, while the men they'd really like to have relationships with never seem to reciprocate their feelings. This is because women do the right things with the wrong men. In this episode, I'll discuss how this influences the good times-to-hassle ratio that is instrumentally related to which women men decide to pursue. Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #women
    145
  84. I know it may not feel like it, but seven months is not a very long time in the scheme of things. No contact is not a sprint; it's a marathon. Almost all of my exes have re-contacted me, but some of them took years to do so. By then I had moved on. You will either re-attract your ex or find someone even better for you. Never fight to keep someone in your life.
    145
  85. Among other things, successful businesses make it easy for their customers to hand over their money. Introducing unnecessary steps into the sales funnel only decreases revenue and customer satisfaction. The same holds true with successful women: they make it easy for their men to love them. Introducing unnecessary steps into the love funnel only decreases affection and relationship satisfaction. I discuss more in this episode. Pre-order my book: https://amzn.to/3UlsTsY Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
    144
  86. Ladies: a man can be rich, a man can be attractive, and a man can be loyal. However, you can only get two – max. This is because any one of these attributes is very expensive to cultivate, and no one will pay more than they need to for the same good. As a result, we collectively consider it lucky if a man has even one of these attributes – which makes two exceedingly rare and three overkill. In this episode, I take a look at the three archetypes in turn: the Romeo, the Patron, and the Playboy. Understanding men will improve your chances of getting what you want from them. Join my community: https://the-captains-quarters.mn.co Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #men #women
    144
  87. Men sometimes believe that understanding the origins of a woman's problematic behavior (e.g., childhood trauma, narcissistic ex) will somehow lessen the impact of that behavior. This is not true. Much like an employer after a lackluster interview, there is no need to understand why the prospective employee did not perform well – and there's certainly no need to extend her a job offer in order to “fix the problem.” Better to simply move on to the next interested applicant. Join my community: https://the-captains-quarters.mn.co Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
    142
  88. My definition of a date is that it's connection plus sexual possibility. You need both for a date to be a date. Otherwise, you're dealing with a hookup (on the one hand) or an interview (on the other). And this is why the date is God's perfect creation: when it does well, both parties get what they want. As a result, it's never a good idea to meet halfway on a date, as it severely limits the logistical reality of the sexual possibility. This also sets up the likelihood that the relationship will prioritize the woman's interests and preferences over the man's. I discuss more in this episode. Pre-order my book: https://amzn.to/3UlsTsY Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
    141
  89. I was thrilled to be able to sit down recently with Alexander Grace, whose balanced and research-backed analyses on intersexual dynamics I've admired for years. It turns out we have a lot in common! In this deep dive, we discuss a number of topics in our respective wheelhouses, including: the hopelessness of the black pill, the attraction of emotional wounding, and the role of emotional vulnerability in relationships. I hope you enjoy the talk. Follow Alexander on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@alexandergrace5350 Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #alexandergrace #relationship
    141
  90. It's important for young men to understand that all women play blackjack. Like players in the game, women in the sexual marketplace must choose whether to stand (settle) or hit (move on) in their bid to get as close as possible to 21 (an ideal relationship) without busting (the close of their reproductive window). To make this decision, they incorporate information from their hold cards (current relationship) and the dealer's show card (potential mates). A deep understanding of this metaphor will help young men position themselves successfully and refrain from taking the game too seriously. Join my community: https://the-captains-quarters.mn.co Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #women
    138
  91. New relationships are often delicate things: missteps committed at this stage of the courtship process aren't as easily forgiven. In this episode, I'll discuss the most common way that men unintentionally bring promising relationships to a premature conclusion, and how to prevent this happening to you. The key is to understand that uncertainty and insecurity are your allies during the rapprochement stage. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
    137
  92. Because of their hypergamous tendencies, women generally mate and date for gain -- and they typically have no qualms about passing over men who are not in a position to provide benefit. However, in every culture on the planet, it is the servant who takes the money. The servant is the one who is paid. One of the most over-looked consequences of hypergamy is the creation of a relational indebtedness that was historically discharged in domestic service. This does not interest most modern women; however, they are also not interested in disabusing themselves of their hypergamous tendencies. As might be expected, this creates problems in the economy of the sexual marketplace. Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
    136
  93. These moments are difficult. And they may ultimately conspire to move you in a much better direction. However, passing through them isn't easy.
    135
  94. While the overwhelming majority of my feedback has been positive, a small contingent of (mostly female) viewers has proven quite negative. And the overwhelming majority of that negativity is in response to some of my advice on how "to hook" a man. In this episode, I respond to that criticism and emphasize the importance of using sexuality intentionally and strategically. Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #women #dating #relationship
    135
  95. The idea of 50-50 relationships sounds appealing: it's the definition of equality, and it ensures that people get as much as the give. Unfortunately, these relationships don't really work in practice due to several economic realities of the dating market that people are often loathe to acknowledge. The crux of the situation is that, in a 50-50 relationship, the woman is giving the most she is willing to give while the man is giving the least he is willing to give. Though equal, this asymmetricality doesn't feel fair -- which is what generally causes these relationships to fail. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #relationship #dating #psychology
    133
  96. The general consensus is that relationships tend to fail when one person in the couple begins to struggle. Maybe they stop putting effort into the courtship; maybe they stop putting effort into their own growth and well-being; maybe they become addicted or comfortably numb. And while this can certainly happen, this isn't what I typically see in my practice. In today's episode, I discuss the most dangerous thing for a relationship: when success comes to one person. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #marriage
    131
  97. As soon as you decide to stand up, you cast a shadow. Criticism is unavoidable. The trick is to live your life anyway.
    131
  98. The secret of a successful relationship is somewhat counterintuitive: want less from your partner. After relating an anecdote in which I learned this secret, I discuss the importance of getting any need that can be satisfied outside of a sexual relationship met elsewhere. This significantly lowers the burden you place on your partner, and increases the likelihood that the relationship will play to its strengths. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
    131
  99. Due to popular demand, this is the second episode in a three-part series on how women can get any man they want -- even if they are not exceptionally attractive. Men are not complicated. To secure a relationship with any man they have direct access to, women only need to do two things (and not do one thing). This episode is about the second thing, the Hook. This is how women capture men. In order to hook a man, women have to be the nastiest, slutiest versions of themselves possible. A woman's sexual behavior is the primary way men gauge her interest and attraction. So she needs to do things for him that she hasn't done with any other man -- and, ideally, that he hasn't done with any other woman. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
    130
  100. After a lot of consideration, I've come to the conclusion that humans are more or less tragically superficial with respect to their desire and attraction. This can be overridden with rationality and effort, but the default programming seems to be shallow. Both men and women are superficial when it comes to mating and dating -- albeit in different ways -- and complaining about this reality won't change a thing. It's a better idea to accept this situation and learn to play the game successfully. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #attraction #relationship #desire
    129
  101. While making men angry might be a business online, it is dwarfed in size and scope by the business of making women feel right. By validating women's emotions and reflecting back to them what they already believe to be true, certain content creators are paid handsomely for helping women feel as though the sources of their relationship problems lie elsewhere. However, if a woman has yet to secure the relationship she would prefer, she must eventually consider the common denominator in all of her past experiences: herself. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #women
    129
  102. In this episode, I discuss the third -- and final -- consideration for getting any man you want. If a woman has proven herself both functionally useful and sexually exciting, and she still hasn't been able to retain a desired relationship, in most cases it is because she has violated the unbreakable rule, namely: she has been difficult and disrespectful. Under no circumstances, can a woman allow herself to disrespect the man she wants. No exceptions. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #women
    128
  103. This is the third part in my three-part series on why successful men use escorts. Just like in the commercial marketplace, you typically get what you pay for in the sexual marketplace, as well. In this episode, I respond to the most common objections to the use of escorts, in particular, and to transactional relationships, in general. This should help women better position themselves to effectively target successful men for relationships, if they so choose. Pre-order my book: https://amzn.to/3UlsTsY Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
    127
  104. Every woman is (at least) two women: the public-facing persona that she shows the world, and the bedroom persona that she shows her lover. Treating the one like the other is likely to result in complaints and hurt feelings. Unfortunately, it can be very difficult to glean reliable information about the bedroom persona by observing the public-facing persona, which complicates dating for both men and women. I discuss more in this episode. Pre-order my book: https://amzn.to/3UlsTsY Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #women
    127
  105. That's good.
    127
  106. I have another way of approaching this. Rather than lead with talking, I FIRST decide whether the problem is serious enough to make the relationship worth continuing. If not, I don't talk about it, and instead examine why it is such an issue for me. If it is, I do talk about it, but it's a 30-second conversation.
    127
  107. This episode is for the ladies. It's important for women to understand that game is not just for men. Women need it to -- albeit for different reasons. Since women are the gatekeepers of sex, men need game in order to access the sexual opportunity. On the other hand, since men are the gatekeepers of commitment, women need game in order to secure a committed relationship. And most women have terrible game in this regard. Don't conflate your ability to secure sex from a man with your ability to get a commitment out of him. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
    126
  108. I made an episode on this very idea. See "The gift of your absence: the threshold of tolerance."
    125
  109. One of the principal rules governing relationships of all kinds is that the core transaction at the heart of that particular relationship should never be explicitly discussed. And though this rule gives rise to a good deal of indirectness, foolishness, and deceit, it's probably not going anywhere anytime soon, as it protects the dignity of the individuals involved. In today's episode, I discuss how this rule plays out in professional relationships before moving on to sexual relationships. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #professional
    125
  110. This is a topic that has been requested repeatedly on this channel. For those who are unfamiliar, Passport Bros is the collective term for a movement among Western men who are increasingly pursuing mating and dating opportunities abroad. To be honest, my previous association with the movement was that it was primarily catering to men who were too low-status or unattractive to beat out the intrasexual competition in their home country. After spending a month in Japan, I no longer believe this to be the case. In this episode, I discuss my new perspective through the lens of my recent experiences. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
    125
  111. If it's true that women mate and date for gain (i.e., they get out more than they put in), then it must be true that men mate and date for acceptable loss (i.e., they put in more than they get out). It would not be possible for women to date for gain if they put in more than they got out, and such a relationship would likely prove unsustainable. However, it's important for men to understand that there is a difference between acceptable and unacceptable loss. I discuss more on this episode. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
    124
  112. I actually agree with most of that, Akeem. A man (or woman) can be the adored in one relationship, and the adorer in another. It's simply a question of who is more (or less) attracted to whom. Where we seem to differ is in our value judgments: I don't think this is necessarily a lose-lose situation. There are pros and cons to being with someone you're not that interested in, and these pros and cons are unique to that position. A relationship in which one partner prefers to be the adorer and the other prefers to be the adored can be a win-win situation. You can also potentially attempt to reduce the gap in the imbalance of attraction, as this can minimize some of the liabilities (and some of the benefits) of the dynamic.
    124
  113. Given the state of modern courtship, in which sex precedes commitment, many women are concerned about "being used" in the dating process. Unfortunately, there is no way around this. Just like most men have to expose themselves to potentially being used for their resources to secure a relationship, most women have to allow themselves to run the risk of being used sexually to get the same. The alternative to being used is being ornamental, which (for better or worse) is not a viable option for most women. That said, in this episode, I discuss how to reduce the likelihood of poor dating outcomes for women in light of this reality. Pre-order my book: https://amzn.to/3UlsTsY Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #women
    122
  114. Sexual relationships between men and women tend to thrive when the man is, confidently and respectfully, leading the relationship. However, it can be difficult for modern women to follow for a variety of reasons. In this episode, I teach men how to lead their women using principles exhibited by successful military commanders. By leading from the front and deeply understanding those under their command, good leaders can significantly reduce the likelihood they they will not be obeyed. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #leadership #women
    120
  115. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. There is an inherent asymmetry between wanting and giving: wanting is free, but giving is costly. This is why wanting is such a good interpersonal strategy, and why -- the more successful you become as a man -- the more you should expect more women to want more things from you. However, your time, energy, and money are limited quantities that cannot be doled out on request. So learning to reject women is a skill. In this episode, I discuss some of the beliefs that prevent men from doing this effectively. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #women #psychology #relationship
    119
  116. It's much harder to make friends as an adult, especially for men. For better or worse, most men in middle age devote half their waking life to work, and the other half to their wife and children. It's not that they don't value friendship; it's that society incentivizes and rewards men for prioritizing other things over these relationships. In today's episode, I discuss a nearly sure-fire way to make a few new friends as an adult in just a couple of months. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #friendship #men
    118
  117. I've spoken to a number of women recently who were inappropriately pessimistic about their chances of getting married, simply due to their age. While it's true that women operate under an increasing disadvantage in the sexual marketplace in their 30s, that doesn't mean they can't still win. They just need to change their strategy. In this episode, I discuss further. Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #dating #relationship #women
    118
  118. In this brief video, I discuss some of the changes that will be coming to the channel in the near future. Of particular note, I'll be altering the cadence of my uploads to carve out time for other projects. Thank you for your support as I strive to deliver even more impactful and value-driven content. Join my community: https://the-captains-quarters.mn.co Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
    115
  119. This might be my most important concept for men to understand: the lens of attraction. More than anything else, it helps to explain why success with women isn't about doing the “right” things. The exact same woman can perceive the exact same behavior in two wildly disparate ways as a consequence of her attraction levels. Keep her attraction high and you will do no wrong; let it drop and you won't be able to do anything right. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #women
    113
  120. If you've dated women, at some point in your life you've probably heard her say the phrase: "I don't want to waste my time." The idea here is that the woman is challenging the relationship on the basis that she is not getting enough of what she wants, when she wants it. Furthermore, men who do not provide value on women's timelines are considered "time-wasters," and become the target of a good deal of social vitriol. In this episode, I share a few of my hot takes on this phrase -- and the attitude behind it. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by @valntinomusic. Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #dating #women #psychology
    113
  121. And if they want the prize, then you have to act like the prize. Sounds like you learned your lesson.
    112
  122. Well said.
    111
  123. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. People say that relationships take work, but this is only if you choose poorly. Select the right partner and sex, love, and affection will flow to you as effortlessly as water moves downhill. The key to this process is understanding the importance of being a woman's perceived best option. Almost all the issues that men are subject to experiencing in their relationships are rooted in their woman's belief that she could do better. I'll discuss more in this episode. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com #relationship #dating #attraction
    109
  124. Jealousy is like a powerful spice: just a little bit can make your food more interesting, but any more than that will probably ruin the dish. So it's a good idea to learn how to handle the experience of jealousy so as not to create unnecessary problems in your relationship. The key is to understand that jealousy functionally communicates the perception of a legitimate threat -- which can create unintended consequences if expressed. The antidote is to remember your position and to act like the king that you are. I explain what this means in today's episode. Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #marriage
    109
  125. Beauty is a form of power. And those who hit the genetic lottery are subject to being distorted by the continued exercise of that unearned power.
    105
  126. In my experience, the most attractive women are often the most insecure. They know that they are primarily sought after for their looks, and they know that beauty fades. Unless they develop a more stable source of self-worth, they remain hypervigilant for any signs that their charm is wearing off.
    104
  127. I recently spent a month abroad. While the experience was largely a positive one, as the weeks went by, I didn't feel as well as I did when I was living my boring, little life back home. Almost certainly, this was due to the disruption of my routines, which I typically discharge with mechanical regularity. Nutrition, sleep, exercise, sex, and connection are extremely important for individual psychology. They help to clarify thinking and regulate emotions. Before consulting with a therapist, it might make sense to get these five things on track first. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #motivation #success
    104
  128. I've consulted many men who were recently given the marriage ultimatum by their girlfriends, and who were legitimately conflicted about how to proceed. In this episode, I explain how getting more of what one wants is inversely related to both men and women's use of pressure in relationships. In particular, I note that any woman who gives this ultimatum is confessing that she loves what she wants more than she loves you. It's not personal, it's just business. Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #marriage
    104
  129. Not matter the amount of due diligence a man conducts in the courtship process, women will always remain a role of the dice. So it's important to approach relationships like one would approach gambling. And the fundamental rule of gambling is never to bet with more than you can afford to lose. This is essential to keep in mind when dealing with women not only because all relationships eventually end but because they typically don't end equally. Over a long enough time line, the house always wins. Smart gamblers prepare against this eventuality. Pre-order my book: https://amzn.to/3UlsTsY Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #dating #marriage #women
    101
  130.  @-glitch-8195  I do all the housework in my three-bedroom house. With a washer/dryer, dishwasher, and robot vacuum, I can keep the house clean and tidy with about one hour of real work a week. I'm also thinking of hiring a maid to clean the house more thoroughly twice a month. Total cost per month to keep the house clean (without kids): 4 hours of time and $200.
    100
  131. Aristotle wrote: "Without friends, no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods."
    100
  132. Not a lot of personal accountability in that anecdote. 🤔
    97
  133. No one likes the idea of being restricted. However, limitations benefit you in several substantive ways. In the first place, they help prevent your life from going off the rails when you finally attain the success for which you have been striving. And in the second place, they force you to become better than you are to compensate for the self-imposed handicap. These are your "batman rules." I discuss more in today's episode. Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #selfimprovement #selfcare
    97
  134. A common refrain I hear in my consultations with men is feeling disrespected. These men feel as though other men look down on them, and that women tend to overlook them. And since I've been giving the same feedback in multiple sessions, I thought I would make an episode on the topic to spare guys the trouble. Basically, it's dangerous for a man to appear harmless, as it makes it more likely that he will be the target for aggression that others would like to direct elsewhere -- but are too afraid to do so. Whether we like it or not, fear is the basis of respect. Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #respect #men
    96
  135. Many folks today lament the current state of affairs between men and women, especially with respect to mating and dating. It wasn't always like this, right? So how exactly did we end up here? In this episode, I present an answer to this question from an unlikely place: Ang Lee's "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon". Interspersed throughout the dazzling visuals and top-notch fight scenes is a profound psychological allegory about the historical relationship between the masculine and the feminine. This is a longer episode, but well worth it. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by @valntinomusic. Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #men #women #psychology
    96
  136. This is the second installment of my two-part series on unintentional disrespect. The intention is to help prevent women from sabotaging the relationships they want with the men they want to have them with. In this episode, I identify two other ways in which women place themselves above men with their words and behavior, thereby enacting an assumed superiority. I also suggest that men are more sensitive to cues of disrespect given their relative preference for hierarchical arrangements and their lack of social protections. Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #women #relationship
    96
  137. Due to certain social and cultural expectations, men find themselves in a unique double-bind in the sexual marketplace. On the one hand, men are expected to approach and initiate. If a man takes no action, then generally nothing happens. However, on the other hand, the act of approaching and initiating makes them less attractive than they otherwise would be, reducing their chances of success. Men are more attractive if they don't pursue -- but if they don't pursue (at least in the beginning) nothing happens. Int his episode, I discuss how to break out of this conundrum. Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
    95
  138. It really is all about the attitude and intention. The gift of your absence is not a passive-aggressive parting blow. People rarely miss those who give them the cold shoulder. Rather, it's an opportunity for folks to re-orient themselves toward your demonstrated value and the positive emotions associated with it.
    95
  139. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. From a woman's perspective, a man's emphasis on her sexual history may be somewhat baffling. After all: that was then, and this is now. What does what I did before we met have anything to do with our current relationship? A lot, it turns out. In this episode, I will help women understand why men tend to place so much importance on women's previous sexual behavior with other men. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com
    95
  140. I was very happy to be able to sit down with Dr. Robert Glover ("No More Mr. Nice Guy") for a long chat the other day. When he wasn't cracking me up with his off-color honesty, we touched on a number of topics in our collective wheelhouse, including: love, attraction, authenticity, and men's need for a "tribe". My sexy grumble is my throat recovering from the flu. Enjoy. Dr. Glover's men's community: https://integrationnation.net/ Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
    94
  141. If people need success in order to feel confident, and if confidence makes success much more likely, then how does anyone get confident to begin with? We all have to start somewhere, and the world doesn't wait until we're ready. In this episode, I share a mental hack to facilitate confident action before you have "a stack of proof." @AlexHormozi Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #confidence #success
    92
  142. Yes -- for many men, their faithfulness is less a virtue than an absence of opportunity.
    92
  143. Struggle is necessary to achieve anything of value in this world. This is as true for psychological intangibles as it is for material resources. Wrestling with the angel is necessary to secure a life worth living. In this episode, I discuss how we pay the cost of anything by letting go of what is antithetical to that something. This cannot be cheated. However, expensive though it may be, it is worth it. Ultimately, you have to fight for your life. "Roll the Dice" by Charles Bukowski: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2lK4LrD8Ii4 Join my community: https://the-captains-quarters.mn.co Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #value #angel
    92
  144. Women often tell me that the reason they aren't interested in securing a long-term relationship in their 20s is because they consider the development of their careers to be a necessary hedge against being left in the lurch further down the road. However, this is actually not a hedge: it is the primary bet. When women hedge they leverage a relationship against the downside of their work -- not the other way around. This isn't necessarily a problem, as long as women understand that the bet determines the payout. Learn more: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Join my community: https://the-captains-quarters.mn.co Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
    91
  145. The idea that mutual understanding naturally leads to the cessation of conflict is erroneous. While understanding may help people respond to others with greater patience and compassion, it does little to change the original needs and desires that demand understanding. Those who seek to be understood are asking for a concession: they want others to change because they believe they can't (or won't) do so themselves. Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #selfimprovement #selfcare
    90
  146. As soon as you stand up and run the risk of being somebody, you cast a shadow. One element of that shadow is a body of antagonists that is subject to trying to denounce and destroy you. These are haters. However, haters don't actually hate as much as they envy. In this episode, I discuss how envy works and how to respond to the envious. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #emotions #courage
    90
  147. Heartbreak is one of the most painful experiences a person can pass through -- but why might this be the case? After all, anything that actually transpired in the relationship is secure in the past and can't ever be taken from you. What makes a breakup painful is the death of a dream: the loss of a preferred future. This is why you always break your own heart, and why you must always put it back together again. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #love #heartbroken
    89
  148. That's a generous donation notwithstanding. I appreciate your support, brother.
    89
  149. One day, I hope to be able to love like the Sun. In this episode, I discuss what that means by examining the exultant humility of the star in the center of our solar system. The Sun is one of our best models of the generosity, abundance, and indifference that constitute the most elevated forms of love, and its teachings are freely available to us all. If you're ready to up your game, and move beyond the exchange of value that characterizes relationships, this episode is for you. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #love #sun
    88
  150. That's a bit disingenuous. When a man is asked what he is looking for in a woman, he will almost always comment on the attractiveness of his ideal partner. Women tend to leave this important piece out, which (to my point) misleads men into thinking that attractiveness is not among the traits that women are looking for.
    88
  151. Most men have no interest in fighting with their partners. So why does it end up happening? In this video, I discuss how women can spring a trap inside the minds of men, and how men can inadvertently sow the seeds of discord in their relationships. Of course, I also provide strategies for disarming this process and cultivating harmony. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #women
    88
  152. A good relationship is two people getting a lot of what they want and not a lot of what they don't.
    87
  153.  @lorrilewis2178  This is not actually true. According to the evidence, in about half of relationships with intimate partner violence, the violence is reciprocal. However, when the violence is reciprocal, women initiate more frequent acts of violence than men do. When the violence is non-reciprocal, women are the perpetrators 70% of the time. And this could even be greater, given the fact that female-on-male physical abuse is underreported to a greater degree than is male-on-female physical abuse. Men's violence tends to be much more destructive though. (citations: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1854883/; https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1854883/)
    87
  154. Self-esteem is the belief that, all things being equal, you're a worthwhile person. It's related to self-confidence, but it's technically a separate construct. Unfortunately, many folks out there struggle with low self-esteem, and don't think very highly of themselves (even if they're otherwise successful). Fortunately, there is a simple way to improve your self-esteem. It's a two-step process, and I'll outline both in this episode. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com
    87
  155. When I started this channel, I made a commitment to myself that I would publish content regularly for three years before I allowed myself to evaluate whether I would continue with the project. Today my commitment to myself has been fulfilled. In this episode, I talk about my process and some of the tools that helped me stay disciplined in the absence of any positive reinforcement. I also briefly discuss the path ahead. Pre-order my book: https://amzn.to/3UlsTsY Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #success #determination
    87
  156. Throughout my dating history, I've been punished many times with sexual withholding for not endorsing a woman's beliefs. I call this the "Lysistrata Protocol", as it is inspired by the behavior of the Greek women in Aristophanes's play of the same name. However, while the women were successful in changing society on stage, this tactic is self-defeating in an open and diverse sexual marketplace. In this episode, I explain why. Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #women
    86
  157. Men are growing increasingly isolated. Without regular contact with friends, men's mental health deteriorates, contributing -- in some cases -- to the significantly higher rates of addiction and self-harm in this population. Men need friends, and it's up to men to solve the loneliness problem by overcoming the obstacles that exacerbate it. Join my community: https://the-captains-quarters.mn.co Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #men #friends
    86
  158. In today's episode, I discuss a model that has personally helped me to become a better man. For your own progress, it is useful to consider that you are two men: the Worldly Man and the Spiritual Man. While the Worldly Man wants things to be easy, the Spiritual Man needs things to be difficult. In this way, you can always make use of circumstances to facilitate your growth. This is how to accelerate your development as a man. Join my community: https://the-captains-quarters.mn.co Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #selfimprovement #men
    84
  159. Much of my work is devoted to reducing unnecessary suffering. However, not all suffering is unnecessary. So what is the appropriate response to the necessary and unavoidable suffering that we must all experience at some points in our lives? The answer comes through observing a horse in the rain – who does nothing to make his situation any worse than it already is. When we stop fighting our circumstances internally, we are more likely to recognize – and seize – opportunities to escape, if and when they present themselves. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #mentalhealth #resilience
    84
  160. If someone is actually willing to make the effort to do what you want, then under no circumstances should you ever punish them for doing so. It is a much better idea to focus on the parts that they are doing right than to emphasize the (potentially many) parts that they are still doing wrong. By rewarding successive approximations to the target behavior, you can leverage the power of shaping. I discuss more in this episode. Pre-order my book: https://amzn.to/3UlsTsY Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #marriage
    84
  161. I haven't had a single heated argument with anyone since adopting this tactic years ago. Contrary to popular belief, the most appropriate time to bring up certain issues may not be when they feel most emotionally salient. By striking when the iron is cold, people can increase the likelihood of being heard and bypassing defensiveness. In this episode, I discuss the importance of waiting for your moment. Pre-order my book: https://amzn.to/3UlsTsY Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #love
    83
  162. As a psychologist, I'm often asked the question as to whether people can change. And since people are always in a constant state of change, I take this question to mean: "is radical personality transformation possible?" And my answer is: yes! However, it is typically only possible once people hit bottom. In today's episode, I make the case that my favorite musical, "Les Miserables," is actually a protracted examination of this question. Is Valjean's transformation legitimate, or will he forever be Javert's escaped convict, 24601? Let's take a look. "Valjean's Soliloquy": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJx1pRCey78 "The Confrontation": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jfRE_FljrE "Stars": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfoJEYicu7c "Javert's Suicide": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsZdfna1LKA Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #lesmiserables #transformation
    82
  163. The one thing that most prevents men from having the relationships they want with the women they want to have them with is cowardice. In this episode, I discuss three ways in which this cowardice tends to manifest in the game of mating and dating: in approaching women, in responding to female emotionality, and in assuming leadership. For men, courage is the pathway to more satisfying relationships with women. Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #men #relationship
    82
  164. Though it may sound ludicrous at first blush, most men in the western world are romantics. To understand why this is the case, we need to clarify the core belief of romanticism that dwells in the heart of hearts of most men, namely: "I can be loved for who I am." For better or worse, this is not the basis of an adult relationship with women. Men need to provide value to secure mating and dating opportunities. This is the red pill in one sentence. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
    81
  165. Though I'm not particularly famous, I have noticed a number of changes in how people treat me since my channel became popular nearly a year ago. And these changes have overwhelmingly been positive: many men and women now go out of their way to show their appreciation and respect. However, this has taken some getting used to, since -- as I explain in this episode -- this is the first time in my adult life that people I don't know have shown me kindness. Ultimately, I conclude that being famous is like being a woman. Pre-order my book: https://amzn.to/3UlsTsY Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #success #selfimprovement
    81
  166. Thanks for the feedback, Mat. Keep coming back!
    81
  167. I can appreciate the perspective of the agnostic and atheistic. Without empirical evidence of God, and without any direct experience of the divine, believing in God can really seem like a fairytale. In this episode, I aim to guide these folks to the point at which God may become apparent by discussing a seemingly unrelated question: how can you prove that you exist? As we'll see, the same proofs for and against the self can be made for and against God. Ultimately, we hit on the existence of God -- like that of the self -- indirectly, as the unifying concept that allows us to make order out of chaos. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #god #psychology #spirituality
    81
  168. Making men angry at women is a business -- and it's big business of social media platforms, like YouTube. For this reason, it's very important for the young men who are the primary demographic of these channels to take what they learn there with a grain of salt. In this episode, I dissect the interconnected system of creators, consumers, and platforms, explaining how they all more or less conspire to promote increasingly sensational content, which directly contributes to the polarization of society. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by @valntinomusic. Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #women #socialmedia
    79
  169. Good idea, in theory. However, it doesn't work in practice. This is because pursuing (i.e., moving toward, doing things for another) tends to lower attraction. So a man doing more for a woman, especially if the "reward" (explicitly or not) is sex, generally lowers the woman's authentic desire for him. It's a better idea for the man to withdraw (i.e., move away, doing less), as this tends to increase attraction. The "reward" for sex (explicitly or not) could then be attending to the woman's emotional need.
    79
  170. Of course. Longing is mixed up with our own projected ideals, which (almost by definition) will always be more attractive to us that reality.
    78
  171. Thanks for the support, Joe. I really appreciate it.
    77
  172. Having a place to go and something to do there has saved more marriages than couple's therapy ever will. Men and women were never designed to spend so much time with each other. By removing too many barriers to access, lovers are slowly transformed into roommates. Most couples do not suffer from too much space – but too little. In today's episode, I discuss the most effective marriage intervention (hint: you need to get out of the house). Join my community: https://the-captains-quarters.mn.co Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #marriage
    76
  173. The most significant difference between masculine and feminine communication pertains to their respective goals. Whereas masculine communication is interested in the accurate transmission of information, feminine communication is devoted to the transmission of experience, in the sense of felt subjectivity. By means of analogy: masculine communication is like a language without vowels, and feminine communication is like a language without consonants. The most effective communication styles combine both. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #men #women #psychology
    76
  174. Much like attraction, the balance of power in a relationship is never exactly equal. Whether we like it or not, one person always has more power than an other in a given relationship. It would be irresponsible to claim that this power imbalance neatly follows gendered lines, as it intimately depends on the actual individuals involved. That said, in this episode, I give you three easy ways to make the determination as to who has more power in a relationship. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #power #relationship #psychology
    76
  175. Whether we like it or not, life -- in its particulars -- is often a zero-sum game. In order to get what you want, it is often the case that no one else can have it. And getting what you want typically involves winning out against your competition. As a general rule, overpaying is the cost of winning: you will need to give more than anyone else in order to secure the desired good. One of the unintended consequences of this is that getting what you want tends to be disappointing. This is because -- in order to win any particular good -- you likely had to pay more than that good was worth. Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #winner #success
    76
  176. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. In turns out that both men and women are capable of loyalty, though each group tends to remain loyal to different things. Whereas men are typically loyal to their duties, women are typically loyal to their feelings. It is what it is. Accepting this reality can help men and women have more harmonious and rewarding relationships with each other. Each other holds out a growth opportunity for the other, which I will discuss at the end of the episode. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com #loyalty #relationship #dating
    75
  177.  @tedantares2751  Yep. Check out "Love has nothing to do with relationships"
    75
  178. All men suffer from approach anxiety to some degree. This is because female rejection carries the unconscious threat of extinction. However, it is possible to overcome this anxiety -- though it generally requires actually approaching women. In this episode, I'll discuss how men can benefit from my acting experience and learn to tell the truth under imaginary circumstances. By manipulating the fantasies in your mind, you can learn to be confident in any situation. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #anxiety #dating
    75
  179. Men and women face unique challenges with respect to being able to love. In this episode, I will address each of these challenges in turn. The issue with women is that their love -- while pure -- tends to get mixed up with a bunch of other impurities. Consequently, women need to filter their transmission of love until it is unadulterated. On the other hand, the issue with men is that life demands that they become hard, and then -- having become hard -- to soften. As a result, men need to love like a tree, which is firm and dependable without being rigid and unyielding. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by @valntinomusic. Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #love
    74
  180. As discussed in a previous episode, if a man is rich and attractive, he isn't going to be loyal – so this is the hardest man to lock down. That said, even movie stars and world leaders settle down – so it is possible to get them to commit. To do so, however, it is not enough for a woman to be attractive and inoffensive: she must captivate him emotionally, as well. By channeling her inner Scheherazade, a woman can weave a story that can enchant even the most recalcitrant rake. This is how to marry a rich, attractive man. Join my community: https://the-captains-quarters.mn.co Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #women #marriage
    74
  181. In no culture that I'm aware of does the woman propose to the man. What this means is that, ultimately, it is the man who invites the woman into his life -- not the other way around. Appreciation of this fact reframes dating as an extended hiring process, in which the man attempts to determine whether the woman possesses the traits, skills, and attributes necessary to discharge the responsibilities associated with the position he has created in his life for her. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
    73
  182. The fundamental game at the heart of romance is hide-and-seek. Romantics cut out a part of themselves, hide that part in someone of their choosing, and then forget about the cutting and the hiding and the choosing. This process imbues love with the possibility of mythic alchemy: the completion of the self in union with the other. However, romantics have always ever already been whole. Unfortunately, remembering this makes it harder to keep playing the game. Pre-order my book: https://amzn.to/3UlsTsY Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #marriage
    73
  183. If you're like me, you grew up hearing (over and over again) that women earn 82 cents for every dollar earned by a man. However, it turns out that this is a third-grade statistic coupled with an equally elementary interpretation. When the analysis is appropriately controlled, the pay gap between the sexes shrinks in insignificance. That said, men still continue to earn more than women in both absolute and relative terms. In this episode, I will discuss why this will always be the case. Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #money #relationship
    72
  184. There's a reason female interest in you significantly increased in your late 20s. I'll discuss more in a future episode.
    71
  185. Women must take an increasingly active approach to dating as they age. They do this by reclaiming their power to initiate interactions with men. By "dropping a handkerchief," women signal that they would be amenable to an overture, which significantly alters the risk-reward profile of a cold approach. In this episode, I discuss one way women can do this: the "come hither stare." Pre-order my book: https://amzn.to/3UlsTsY Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #dating #relationship #women
    70
  186. That may be true, but my hunch is that approaching dating like this is likely counterproductive for them. No man will want to date a woman if he senses pressure to commit pre-maturely simply to accommodate her time line.
    69
  187. This phrase -- "I have plenty of time" -- is one I've heard from many, many women throughout my dating history. However, is that really true? In today's episode, I discuss some of the uncomfortable facts about female fertility, especially as they pertain to men's sexual selection priorities. In today's world, women can be anything -- but they can't be everything. Because no one can. Fertility facts: https://www.cnyfertility.com/fertility-stats-by-age/ Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
    69
  188. Since only attempts at reason can be rational or irrational, and since emotions make no claims to reason, then emotions can neither be rational nor irrational. Their experience is always valid, but they are not always justified. This is because the thinking on which the emotion is based might be irrational or misaligned with reality. Unfortunately, it can be very difficult to evaluate our own thinking -- especially when we're emotional. In this episode, I provide a concrete example of how to do this using an unjustified experience of guilt. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #emotions #mentalhealth
    69
  189. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. The part that women always leave out refers to the responses of women to the question: "what are you looking for in a man?" These responses are typically a litany of positive character attributes: someone kind, someone loyal, someone family-oriented. However, women always leave out a very important part to their responses, and it's this omission that can really mess with men's heads. I'll explain what I mean in this episode. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com
    69
  190. Judging others is never a good look because it functionally communicates that you have nothing better to do -- which is almost certainly not true. When people are focused on their own growth and success, they typically do not have any bandwidth left to critically evaluate others. Entering into the mood of complaint is an invitation to examine the beam in your own eye, which must be removed before attending to others. Join my community: https://the-captains-quarters.mn.co Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #selfimprovement #selflove
    68
  191. I have some friendships like that, Shelley. I'm thinking, in particular, of friend who only seems to call me when he wants to use me as his therapist. I've brought this up with him before -- but he's frankly unlikely to change significantly. It's sad, because I think very highly of our friendship. My solution was to pull back and expect less from him, without burning the bridge outright. However, I appreciate that this approach isn't always appropriate.
    68
  192. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. The world is full of people. If you can forge a genuine emotional connection with others, then that world will an exciting place full of potential friends, partners, and lovers. The key to making a connection with anyone is empathy. However, most people don't really understand what this means. In this episode, I will discuss what empathy really is using a concrete example, and how this principle might be applied in real world situations. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com #relationship #connection #communication
    68
  193. Dating is often a numbers game, and finding a partner is often a question of being in the right place in the right time. There is definitely an element of luck involved. It's also important to remember that it's not necessarily essential that you get all three from the same person. The expectation that your partner be both passionate lover and dedicated parent, for instance, is one of the biggest failures of the love marriage model.
    68
  194. Cheating seems to be rampant among successful men. Despite coming from different walks of life, and advancing up independent dominance hierarchies, men in top positions seem to be remarkably consistent in this behavior. This can't be just a coincidence. At first blush, cheating in successful men makes little-to-no sense, because the risk-reward profile is insanely high. However, if we change the way we look at things, this behavior can be understood (without judgment). I'll discuss more in this episode. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com
    67
  195. As is often the case, a fulfilling sexual relationship often is an issue of selection. The way to have one is to pick someone with a comparable libido, and who (ideally) has worked through his or her sexual baggage. However, even within these general recommendations, difficulties can develop. In this episode, I will discuss how to handle a woman who turns down a bid for sex. Just because her kitchen's closed doesn't mean that you have to go hungry. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #dating #relationship #psychology
    66
  196. It often seems as though women process breakups faster than men do. In today's episode, I explain why it takes men so long to get over it. The reality is that you never lose someone all at once. While the structure of a relationship can be dissolved in 30 seconds, the bond that ties people together is only weakened when the individuals in question decide to emotionally invest in other relationships. Men persist in heartbreak longer because they do not adequately grieve their relationships and/or refrain from investing in other women. Join my community: https://the-captains-quarters.mn.co Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #breakup #heartbroken
    66
  197. This happens over the course of a lifetime: needs and wants change. Most relationships work for a season. When paths diverge, it doesn't necessarily mean the relationship was a "failure." It's just run its course. And any relationship that goes the distance is actually several different relationships with the same person. Thanks for watching, Adrianne.
    66
  198. I imagine this can happen. However, my experience as a therapist has generally taught me that people are running outdated operating systems. Many still feel the same way about themselves that they did in college (or even high school). It often takes years for people to fully adapt to growth and change.
    66
  199. It's a tough world out there, Maria. Apparently, Gisele is leaving Tom Brady because he was too busy winning Super Bowls to support her career. Dedication through hard times is an uncommon (though obviously admirable) human quality. In point of fact, the majority of American marriages are sexless. Another component of the marriage vow is "to have and to hold." They don't mean hands.
    65
  200. That is almost certainly true.
    64
  201. It is difficult for men -- even very successful men -- to maintain relationships with women. This is not only because everything they have provided no longer matters, but because they eventually run out of things to provide, as well. This is the law of marginal utility applied to relationships, and it explains why you cannot buy a relationship long-term. At a certain point, your money's no good here, and you need to find other ways to keep her emotionally engaged. Join my community: https://the-captains-quarters.mn.co Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #women
    64
  202. Better late than never. You still have the rest of your life.
    64
  203. You can leave without getting angry.
    64
  204. At this stage of my career, I conduct consultations with men from all walks of life from all over the world. One of the most frequent reasons men book my time is to receive an objective, third-party gut check on their relationships: should they continue to invest or cut their losses? After only a few minutes, it often becomes clear that these men already know the answer to their question -- though they may not want to face the consequences it entails. It's important for men to listen to themselves. If your story was coming out a friend's mouth, how would you respond? Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #men
    63
  205. Love is one of the most abundant resources in the universe. So why do so many people struggle to find it? Simple: they don't understand what they're searching for, and they look for it in the wrong places. Most people don't want to love as much as they want the gratification of being loved -- which is why they look for love in other people. I discuss further in this episode. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #love #psychology #relationship
    62
  206. Inspired by my recent trip to Japan, I would like to share with you one of my favorite poems: O snail! Climb Mount Fuji -- but slowly, slowly. Like many haiku, there is a substantial amount of wisdom contained within these three lines, much of which pertains to the best that life has to offer. If you don't see it yet, allow me to offer three lessons contained therein to edify you. Find your Fuji, and climb it as slowly as possible. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #wisdom #psychology #japan
    62
  207. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Serial monogamy is a dating strategy that so clearly favors women that I'm consistently surprised when men voluntarily assume it for themselves. The crux of the issue is that it is much easier for the average woman to enter into a new relationship after the end of the old one than it is for the average man. Over time, this leads to significant disparities in experience and opportunity that make it more likely that a woman will end up in a relationship that serves her needs than the other way around. I'll discuss the reasons for all of this in this episode. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #dating #women #relationship
    62
  208. Much of the confusion and frustration around relationships disappears once you understand that every relationship is actually two relationships: the negotiated structure and the emotional bond. Possession of the one does not guarantee the other. For example, marriage does not entitle you to love, and love does not entitle you to marriage. Ideally, you have both at more or less equal intensity. However, if you need to prioritize one over the other, investing in the emotional bond is typically a better idea. Join my community: https://the-captains-quarters.mn.co Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
    60
  209. My book, “The Value of Others,” begins and ends with a parable. Many have asked me about the significance of the parable in the epilogue, which relates an episode from the life of Jesus. In applying this parable to sexual relationships, we can understand the importance of using the coin of the realm. Render unto Caesar what is Caesar's. When men pay women in women's currency, and women pay men in men's currency, relationships are ordered and prosperous. I discuss further in this episode. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
    60
  210.  @modickens1272  It's true. Men also screw up when their attraction levels are high, but they often do it in a different way than women do. In my experience, it's more akin to what you described in your response to Jackamo than in your original post. If you haven't already, you may want to check out my episodes on the balance of attraction ("The balance of attraction," "Being loved by the one you're with," "Being with the one you love") for more on this concept.
    60
  211. I don't think that's entirely wrong. Love is like a sausage: no one really wants to look too closely at how it's made.
    59
  212. This is an episode for the ladies. Women: if you're single, and you don't want to be, you may want to consider going back to school. I don't mean graduate school. I mean investing time, energy, and money into learning what makes men tick. Time to earn a PhD in men. In the absence of real understanding, women's only recourse is to the cliches and banalities that will just get them more of the same. Knowledge is power. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #women #relationship
    59
  213. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. If you haven't read the story, here's a link to the full text: http://hca.gilead.org.il/ugly_duc.html And this one's for the guys! In this episode, I'm going to discuss a useful mate selection strategy for straight men. Rather than give your attention to the smokeshows (who can be very challenging to relate to), a better approach is to find your ugly duckling: a late-bloomer who passed through a period of self-development and character building. These women typically have more to offer and are significantly easier to have relationships with. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available on Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com #dating #relationships #uglyduckling
    58
  214. In today's sponsored episode, I respond to a viewer who is asking after the likelihood of successfully turning things around in his marriage after twelve years of "nice guy" behavior. This is a really common problem, and one that comes up again and again in my paid consultations. First, I explain how men tend to find themselves in this predicament to begin with, by discussing the most common male sexual strategy. Then I discuss what to expect if and when you decide to make a change to an established reinforcement protocol. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode #relationship #dating #redpill
    58
  215. I really dislike the phrase "my needs aren't being met." Not only does this obscure the truth, but it propagates a potentially dangerous lie in its place. A relationship in which a person's needs aren't being met is abusive; however, people in abusive relationship don't say that they're needs aren't being met. They say they are in an abusive relationship. So what does this phrase really mean? I'll discuss more in this episode. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com
    57
  216. One bad breakup (or divorce) can be enough to turn men off of relationships for good. And this isn't all that great for women either, as it further reduces the pool of eligible men.
    57
  217. @Shania Simzel  Perhaps. But I'm certainly smarter than you think I am -- which is more to the point here. Even if we take a more "mercenary" stance toward the dating game from a woman's perspective, it's better for her to get in early with the dark horse. If you come late to the party, you'll get a good salary...but founders get equity. This is why all of the richest women in the world are either divorcees or heiresses: they came into their money by investing in a man before he became successful. A man who is already rich and successful will likely be too savvy to allow a woman to take the shirt off his back. And besides, this episode is about finding a good man...not a sucker.
    56
  218. I'm happy to introduce "Deep dives": a new, long-form discussion format that I'll be experimenting with on the channel. And I'm even more pleased to announce that Dr. Shawn T. Smith is my first conversation partner. Dr. Smith is a clinician in private practice specializing in men's mental health, and he is the author of the excellent, "The tactical guide to women." In our discussion, we touch on vetting women, sexual politics, and ideological feminism. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #women #relationship
    55
  219. In a much requested episode, I approach the landscape of dating after 50. After accepting the fact that everyone in this demographic has been wounded in some way, we can consider the challenge (and opportunity) of dating in this phase of life, namely: needlessness. Most people in this demographic aren't looking for marriage or kids or lifestyle. They don't need much from a prospective partner: just a genuine emotional connection. And I discuss how this is both good news and bad news. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #divorce
    55
  220. A certain class of woman is both highly attractive to (and potentially dangerous for) many men, namely: the woman without a life of her own. In this episode, I argue that these women are like construction workers: they're potentially one setback away from a forced retirement without a backup plan. As a result, they will typically be very pushy for commitment (and very contentious in separation). Pre-order my book: https://amzn.to/3UlsTsY Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #women
    55
  221. Always a better idea to work on yourself than to work on other people...
    55
  222. That's true. Those "flaws" become its "distinctions." Love reveals the inherent perfection in things.
    54
  223. Dating as an unconventional person can be extremely demoralizing. Genuine connection is rare, and you may feel as though you need to repress your originality in order to achieve some measure of success. To secure relationships, conventional people should go where the masses congregate. However, unconventional people should get as far away from the crowds as possible. They will need to date off the beaten path. This can be scary (and counterintuitive) but it works. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
    54
  224.  @applesnicolle5144  Forgiveness is between you and yourself -- not you and another person. It's the process of letting go of anger and resentment. This means that it's possible to forgive someone and never speak to them again (which is the right thing to do, in some cases). If you want to give someone a second chance, make sure that they demonstrate consistent behavior change first and that you consider your motives for doing so. You may also want to check out my episode "How to forgive."
    54
  225. The fundamental premise of my forthcoming book, "The Value of Others," is that relationships are the media in which value is transacted. Some people balk at this definition because it runs counter to the felt experience of their own relationships. However, this could be due to the fact that their relationships are functional. In a good relationship, the transaction is invisible. It's generally only when things get out of balance that this tacit arrangement is brought into the light. Pre-order my book: https://amzn.to/3UlsTsY Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
    54
  226. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. This has been my single most important realization with respect to dating and relationships, as it helped me understand much about the process that would otherwise have remained painful and incomprehensible. Women treat men the way men treat jobs. Women enter into relationships with men who they believe can offer them the best opportunity to further their goals, all other things being equal, and they will lateral to another relationship if another man can entice them with a more compelling offer. I expand on the analogy throughout the episode. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com #dating #relationship #relationshipgoals
    53
  227. There are many popular misconceptions about mental illness. It is not very encouraging, but certain issues might not ever go away completely -- even with treatment. However, by treating these conditions like chronic diseases, it's possible for people to live happy, normal lives -- provided they appropriately adapt to the reality of their situation. In today's episode, I discuss the truth about mental illness and how to live with it. Adopting this perspective will facilitate wellness and mental health. Learn more: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Join my community: https://the-captains-quarters.mn.co Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #mentalhealth #wellness
    52
  228. I'm glad you liked it, Cathy. Freedom in relationships is the way to go. Otherwise you end up playing games of control, the time and energy devoted to which would be better spent on other things.
    52
  229. Suffering plus observation.
    52
  230. In this first episode of a two-part series, I discuss some of the uncomfortable realities about the West's epidemic of mental illness. First and foremost, it's important to understand the concept of reification, which is the process by which something that isn't really a thing becomes a thing in individual perception. Through reification, a constellation of symptoms becomes a mental disorder, and the sufferer of those symptoms is placed at further remove from individual responsibility. Pre-order my book: https://amzn.to/3UlsTsY Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness
    52
  231. There's an old joke about an old kung fu master who could never be bested by his students. So the students decide to ambush him one night when he is half-asleep and walking to the bathroom. Though the students had the element of surprise, they were still rebuffed by the master. They were in shock, and asked him: "Master, how can it be that you are always present and ready to respond?" The master laughed and responded, "I'm not always present, but I've learned to come back very quickly." I think it's something like that. I'm not able to accept the present moment all of the time. However, I've practiced certain skills to such an extent that most of the time I can come back fairly quickly.
    52
  232. When I speak with men in their 30s, I often hear them speak of their concern about being "the old man at the club." They're aging out of their old haunts, and (consequently) believe that it must be time to settle down. However, this isn't necessarily the case. After all, it depends on the club to which they're referring. Is it the nightclub or the country club? In this episode, I discuss the importance on finding your scene as a man: as you age out of one, you typically age into another. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #men #success
    52
  233. Like it or not, tests are a necessary aspect of life. Rather than considering them burdens or annoyances, it is helpful to understand that tests are opportunities. Consider the way of Hercules: his 12 labors revealed his potential and signaled his excellence, both to others and to himself. And since tests are generally a sign of interest, it is useful to reframe them as a chance to demonstrate your talent and skill. Embracing the way is the path to success and achievement. Learn more: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Join my community: https://the-captains-quarters.mn.co Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #success #achievement
    51
  234. Exactly! Being intentional and strategic doesn't necessarily mean that you're being manipulative and deceptive. Glad you understand that.
    51
  235. In today's day and age, I still encounter women who lament the decline of chivalry. To some extent, I can appreciate their complaint as the end of certain social niceties. However, what these ladies don't seem to appreciate is the extent to which the unfreedom of women served as the rationale for chivalric action, and that a damsel must first be locked up in a tower in order to be saved. Otherwise, the whole chivalric effort becomes a ridiculous farce. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com
    51
  236. Unless absolutely necessary, I'm not a big fan of pushing people, one way or another. That said, I can see your point. In my own experience, the fact that most people come back isn't indicative of my intention that they one day return. Since I had moved on with my life, their return was a moot point. However, if I do decide to leave a relationship because I am undervalued, I would prefer to do so in a way that may ultimately cause the other to miss that I'm gone...as opposed to feel relieved that I left.
    51
  237. While it may be disappointing to accept, many problems are their best solutions. This means that the process of solving that problem will create more problems that are even more problematic than the problem the process initially intended to solve. Accepting this reality will not only help you remain patient and compassionate with others (and yourself), it will also make you more cautious about fiddling with things you may not know much about. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #patience #wisdom
    49
  238. Check out the episode "Date like it's your job."
    49
  239. Whether it lasts for an evening for a lifetime, all relationships progress through three distinct phases: attraction, negotiation, and maintenance. However, it's wrong to believe that these phases have distinct boundaries between them. In point of fact, a phase is never terminated once it has been initiated in the course of a relationship. This means that much of the third phase is devoted to maintaining attraction and managing frame. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #marriage
    49
  240. Life is hard. Being a woman isn't easy; being a man is no picnic. If hell exists, it is here. And we make life more hellish when we compete with each other for the "prize" of hardest sufferer. True: men's issues are largely ignored and minimized. But a man will likely never truly understand what it's like to be a woman. Better to practice kindness on both sides, whenever possible.
    49
  241. I'm glad you found the channel!
    49
  242. Yes -- this is an important misunderstanding. See my episode "What men and women look for in sexual partners".
    48
  243. Self-respect is paramount. Since you live with yourself 24/7, act in such a way that you can value your own company.
    48
  244. Men can do nothing wrong – they can be completely right – and they can still encounter conflict and difficulty with their women. This is because being right doesn't matter – or, at least, it doesn't matter nearly as much as many men would like to believe it does. By understanding the relationship between games and the meta-games in which they are embedded, men can learn be more effective in their dealings with women. Learn to pet the cat – or risk getting scratched. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #women
    48
  245. That's great to hear. I did an episode on this strategy, called "The block-and-replace technique." It's an essential skill to discipline your mind. Keep up the good work.
    48
  246. The symptom pool is probably the single most important concept with respect to understanding mental illness. In short, the symptom pool is a culturally-bound collection of behavioral signals that can be used to communicate various degrees of distress. These signals are unconsciously added to the pool at the population level, and they are unconsciously manifested from the pool at the individual level. In this episode, I cite an example of how this might look from Ethan Watters's "Crazy like us". Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness
    47
  247. That's a great quote, Mo. Thanks for sharing. It also seems to me that there is an inescapable imbalance at the heart of all human relationships. In many cases, we believe that this imbalance is right and appropriate (such as between parents and young children, or teachers and students); however, there is a often deep social suspicion of imbalance in romantic relationships. I agree that power plays a role, but that ultimately the power of the admired lies primarily in the deference of the admirer. For more on this topic, you can check out my episodes "The balance of attraction," "Being with the one you love," and "Being loved by the one you're with."
    47
  248. In this second episode of a two-part series, I discuss the economic incentives driving the West's epidemic of mental illness. Given certain regulatory requirements, it is generally easier for drug companies to receive FDA approval if their products treat disorders that do not already have a treatment of demonstrated efficacy. This motivates the proliferation of new disorders and an ever-widening definition of pathology. By definition, more and more people become mentally ill, who will be offered treatments that have already been created for them. Pre-order my book: https://amzn.to/3UlsTsY Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness
    47
  249. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" refers to men's observed hesitancy to provide additional resources or commitment to women who are already providing them with sex. However, this bon mot is no longer relevant in the contemporary sexual marketplace. This is because the statement assumes a marketplace in which milk is generally sold -- not one in which it is freely distributed. In this episode, I update this rhetorical question for the modern day. Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
    47
  250. The causal agent of relationship boredom is always the same. At some point -- and for whatever reason -- the two of you stopped telling each other the truth. I guarantee that if you start telling the truth in your relationship, you won't be bored for very much longer. So why does this happen? It turns out most people don't really want to know the truth -- and that's generally not why they entered into the relationship anyway. This is because telling the truth almost always disrupts the status quo, which is often uncomfortable, inconvenient, and painful. Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #marriage
    46
  251. See "Romance is for men"
    46
  252. In this episode, I'll be unpacking some of the results of the peer-reviewed research described in the article, "Aspirational pursuit of mates in online dating markets" (link below). After analyzing the private, anonymous behavior of hundreds of thousands of heterosexual men and women on a popular dating app across four independent metropolitan areas, the researchers discovered a number of surprising (but consistent) findings. Today I'll be talking about one of them: desirability as a function of age. Apparently, women were most desirable to men at 18 years-old, and men were most desirable to women at 50 years-old. It turns out that men like younger women in large part because women like older men. "Aspirational pursuit of mates in online dating markets": https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/sciadv.aap9815 Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com
    46
  253. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Despite the development of several technologies to facilitate the experience, dating seems more challenging and confusing than ever. In point of fact, dating apps are making it harder to date -- though why this might be the case is a little counterintuitive. In this episode, which is based on an except of my book, I explain why fewer sexual relationships are being transacted in the age of dating apps using the concept of perceived supply and demand. Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
    45
  254. I think there are a lot of practical uses of this information in real life. But I think the most important one is understanding that the attraction you feel for a specific person may be more a reaction to the circumstances around the person than to the person himself (or herself). Those who have the fortune (?) of obtaining someone who was previously unobtainable often find themselves disappointed: the person they got wasn't at all the person they thought they were.
    45
  255. I've worked with hundreds of young men, many of whom are paralyzed with the prospect of answering the titular question: "what should I do with my life?" This is obviously an important inquiry; however, most have never been taught how to go about arriving at an answer. This often means that they will spend months -- if not years -- thinking through a solution through a process I can "chessing." Unfortunately, this effort is entirely wasted, as the only way to answer this question is by taking action in the world. Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #men #life
    45
  256. Learning to recognize emotional manipulation and working to cultivate self-sufficiency are extremely important (for men and women).
    44
  257. One of the reasons the Supreme Court can give for deciding not to hear a particular case is that "the court does not deal in trifles." Prioritizing the insignificant above the truly important is not only wasteful, it is disrespectful. Liberally granting your time and attention is like printing more money: the subsequent inflation only serves to devalue the circulating currency. This means that it is essential to learn how to say "no." Pre-order my book: https://amzn.to/3UlsTsY Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #selfimprovement #success
    43
  258. Self-sabotage is a fascinating and complex behavior. In general, self-sabotage is a defense strategy that protects the ego's illusory self-regard from having a disconfirming experience with reality. It also provides a sense of safety by both creating limiters on action and offering self-saboteurs some degree of control. As painful as it is to fail, it is even more painful to do so on someone else's terms...potentially after trying your best. Self-sabotage allows people to maintain a certain self-image as compensation for an objective lack of success. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #growth #truth
    43
  259. Absolutely. All successful salesmen are masters of the game of please-no. They can "read" the customer quickly and adopt their strategy appropriately.
    43
  260. Hm. I think that love and attachment are two different things. People get attached to things they don't even really like all the time. Think of how hard it is for some folks to go through their closets and give away old clothes.
    42
  261.  @ABC123-u6h  Check out my episode "Everyone is unique and replaceable." You won't find anyone like her, but that might be the point.
    42
  262. Game is to dating as professionalism is to business. Neither one is your authentic self, but each performed correctly provides a conduit for a part of your authentic self.
    42
  263. It very easy to get upset at the state of the world today. However, I'm here to tell you -- in no uncertain terms -- that the last thing the world needs right now is another angry person. Apparently, we have collectively forgotten that it isn't necessary to have an opinion about everything. In fact, until you've sufficiently examined something, it's ethically imperative that you defer judgment. In this episode, I discuss a psychological tool for doing just that: the cognitive shelf. Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #angry #peace
    41
  264. That makes sense to me. The fact that all things change in time gives life its bittersweetness.
    41
  265. Meeting people the "old-fashioned way" certainly carries advantages, but also comes with several liabilities, including: lack of access, fewer options, and slower pipelines. It's also important to remember that lying pre-dates the internet; many of those who lie online will lie in real life, just in different ways.
    41
  266. In this episode, I respond to the most common critique of my conceptualization of frame as something that cannot be shared, namely: whether it's not possible for two people to create a mutually-constructed, egalitarian frame. Like socialism, this notion is associated with lofty ideals and noble sentiments, and -- like socialism -- it doesn't work like this in practice. I provide three reasons why this is the case. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #dating
    41
  267. Imagine a potential employer said to you: "Of course, it's hard work! Especially in the long run! But that's what you're committing to, and the 'benefits' are what make it all worthwhile. Hopefully." Even the employer knows that sounds like a tough sell. If he had any sense whatsoever, he would be strongly promoting the generous compensation and "benefits" that came with such a position. Otherwise, it won't be "fear of commitment" that will cause people to leave his office -- but a reasonable caution against needlessly squandering their time and energy.
    41
  268. You can help spread the word. Send a video to someone you think might benefit.
    41
  269. Thanks for your support!
    40
  270. Probably not -- though I'm not aware of a study that has examined this. However, it's interesting to note that there are some significant differences in how men and women view attractiveness in each other. Men apparently view attractiveness on a continuum (1-10 scale), whereas women tend to view attractiveness as a binary (hot or not). This was demonstrated in several online dating studies.
    40
  271. I think your story nicely illustrates the point I was trying to make. Fear can be a gift, as it can motivate as few things can. Thanks for sharing.
    40
  272. Many people want to know how to be a better person. In today's episode, I discuss the implications from one of my favorite psychological studies, which reveals an unexpected driver of kindness. In general, it is those with some measure of prosperity -- of having an abundance of resources above and beyond what they need for their own personal use -- who are most likely to actually be of service to others. Ultimately, one of the best ways to help others is -- paradoxically -- to first help yourself. Altruism study: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1973-31215-001 Join my community: https://the-captains-quarters.mn.co Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #kindness #selfimprovement
    40
  273. Thanks for sharing, JC.
    40
  274. Many promising ventures start as little more than a vision. With little more to offer, these businesses woo partners and investors with equity: the promise of a share in the future earnings of the company. It's a risk: many businesses fail. However, if they wait for the business to succeed, these folks might also be priced out of the market. The same is true of dating. Only founders get equity. Everyone else gets a salary, at best. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
    40
  275. Hm. Do you have a citation for this? For me, a generational difference would be closer to 15 or 20 years.
    40
  276. To crib Aristotle: the roots of self-improvement are bitter, but the fruit is sweet. However, you're not only increasing your competitiveness in the dating market, you're also likely improving your lived experience and the quality of your life. You are the primary beneficiary of your actions. It's tough to take a hard look at the man (or woman) in the mirror, but there are few things more motivating than sober reflection. Thanks for sharing, Anmbios.
    39
  277. This is a topic that has been requested many times by my viewers. It's difficult to love without emotional attachment, but it's extremely important to learn to do so. If you don't, you'll either participate in games of control or resign yourself to the emotional roller coaster. The key to loving without attachment is to treat people like cats. Using this extended metaphor, I'll discuss strategies for loving others that preserve their freedom and autonomy. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #love #attachment #cats
    39
  278. Thanks for the feedback. I also find that this strategy has a surprisingly high success rate. Sometimes people don't realize what they've got until it's gone.
    39
  279. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Developing an emotional virtue (patience, compassion, forgiveness) is not much different from strengthening a physical muscle. You have to put in the reps with some degree of intentionality. The main difference between the two practices is -- while you go to the physical gym -- the emotional gym comes to you. You do not get to decide when you're in the emotional gym. You only get to choose whether to exercise while you're there. Through this lens, the frustrations, disappointments, and betrayals in your life become the weights you lift to build emotional strength and resilience. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode #growth #psychology #redpill
    39
  280. Thanks for the love, lion. Glad to have you
    39
  281. Enumerating the traits of your ideal partner is extremely important to do. If you don't know what you're looking for, you won't be able to see it if it's staring you in the face. If you haven't done so already, you may want to check out my episode "How to get what you want in life."
    39
  282. Many folks start out on the path of virtue when they're young, but get sidelined into worldly pursuits by middle age. Why is this so common? In my opinion, this phenomenon is due to the fact that many people inappropriately expect more of virtue than it can deliver. Virtue only makes you good. Expecting wealth or beauty or status or sex or success or health simply because you are virtuous is foolish. However, I believe that virtue is still worth cultivating for two reasons, as I discuss in this episode. Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #success #good
    38
  283. Good question. You act like a football coach at halftime when his team is down. A coach in this situation doesn't throw his players under the bus and blame the referees. He acknowledges the scoreboard, makes a new plan, and rallies his team for a comeback. Just like a coach will never give up on his players, you can never give up on yourself.
    38
  284. If you want an in with a specific group or individual, you cannot wait for an invitation to arrive. You need to write your own invitation. And you do this by cultivating enough of what the individual or group in question values that you can no longer be ignored. This is also the secret to building new friendships as an adult man. I discuss what this might look like through my experience creating PsycHacks. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #success #friends
    37
  285. Ten seconds to say, and a lifetime to master...
    37
  286. Yes -- too much unearned appreciation is suspicious. This is especially important for men to keep in mind in the earliest stages of courtship.
    37
  287. Sounds like you guys deserve each other 😅 However, things don't tend to play out like that in reality. Attraction and seduction are not "direct" games -- however much we think they might be improved by "straightforward honesty." This works about as well as asking someone to be your friend.
    37
  288. High hopes and low expectations.
    37
  289. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. The most toxic relationship belief is also -- unfortunately -- one of the most prevalent. It's so simple that you may not even believe me when I reveal it to you. In so many words, it's the belief that, in your relationship, you are free to be yourself. This is not really true, but believing it is can corrode your relationships from the inside out. In reality, relationships are roles, and you jeopardize the privilege of a relationship to the extent that your behavior is at odds with the expectations associated with your role. I'll discuss more in this episode. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode #toxic #relationship #psychology
    37
  290. There's an old witticism that one of the best ways to get over someone is to get to know them better.
    36
  291. Yes -- it is a gamble. However, as I mention, it's also a gamble to compete with the other women trying to catch the attention of the man in the winner's circle. If a woman backs a dark horse, and he eventually becomes successful, he will have access to new (and, potentially, even better) options. But the woman will be in a better position to navigate that challenge from within a pre-existing relationship with him than she would if she were simply one of the many options made available to him. Thanks for watching.
    36
  292. Romantic rejection is certainly up there -- though I don't think it necessarily has to be that way.
    36
  293. One of the primary reasons men reach out to me for consultations is to learn how to bring the passion back into a sexless marriage. Besides cultivating the conditions under which sexual interest is most likely to flourish, it's important to practice the fundamental principle of seduction, namely: tension and release. In this episode, I'll discuss what that might look like, and explain why your woman may be recoiling from your touch. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationships #marriage
    36
  294. I agree with Walladah. Something that we often ignore when faced with a decision is our ability to course correct in the future, if necessary. In most cases, you don't have to stay on the train until the end of the line. If you notice that you're going in the wrong direction, you can make a change. In life, however, the time we spend agonizing over getting on the "right" train can greatly exceed the time we would otherwise spend transferring. When in doubt, try it out.
    36
  295. There is a problem that all couples must confront over the course of their relationship: what should they do with their farts? Some hold them in and others let 'em rip. These two camps constitute two different approaches to the unpleasant realities of self and other: repress them to maintain harmony or express them to promote authenticity. Which approach is undertaken has non-trivial consequences for the future of the relationship. Join my community: https://the-captains-quarters.mn.co Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #marriage
    36
  296. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. The cheapest and fastest way to improve your motivation as a man is to stop masturbating. While masturbation may relieve men of the frustration they are likely to experience without an appropriate sexual outlet, this very frustration -- if sublimated -- is rocket fuel for success and achievement. This is because the sex drive is an attribute of the libido, or life force. Yoking the consistent intensity of the male sex drive to the prospect of long-term gain provides the focus and motivation to level up and excel. Highly recommended. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode #motivation #success #redpill
    35
  297. A man would invent a day with 25 hours in it, if it gave him better access to desirable women.
    35
  298. That's right. Perhaps we have unrealistic expectations for what a marriage or relationship can provide. However, facing reality might involve killing a few golden calves.
    35
  299. If I were in the same position today, I would have been vaguer. Something like: "you know, I've been really surprised and impressed by the response so far." And let them interpret that as they will. There's a lot of middle ground between lying and complete transparency.
    35
  300. That's much easier to do if you have a full life. If you can fill your time with meaningful work and challenging adventure and personal growth and close friends and enjoyable hobbies, you won't even have time to think about the cat.
    35
  301. That's quite an endorsement. Thanks for giving the book a chance. I hope you'll continue to benefit from the content.
    35
  302.  @mikeburkett5417  I already made an episode on this: "fouling is part of the game".
    35
  303. One of the tenets of corporate human resources is to hire slow and fire fast. In today's episode, I'll discuss how the same advice holds true when vetting a woman for a relationship. Hiring slow means that you resist the urge to emotionally invest in a woman until you've collected many different data points across a significant time horizon. On the other hand, firing fast means that you terminate the relationship (or silo into a casual affair) at the first signs of trouble. Both steps are facilitated by having a large applicant pool. Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
    35
  304. The vast majority of dating advice isn't worth the paper it's printed on. This is because it tends to describe how we would like dating to be or how we believe dating should be. However, even the best only get it half right. The fact of the matter is that dating is subject to both economic and psychological forces, and emphasizing one without the other leaves people bewildered and hopeless. I discuss how this tends to play out in today's episode. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
    35
  305. My experiences with meditation have taught me that you can't get there the same way twice. This is because success is a moving castle. The same approach will not take you to the same destination, as the destination has since relocated. Consistent achievement depends on the development of mastery, which is the ability to flexibly and competently apply general principles to individual circumstances. Join my community: https://the-captains-quarters.mn.co Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #success #meditation
    34
  306. I agree with a lot of those reasons. Thanks for sharing.
    34
  307. @Mandy Mikulka Learning to act in such a way so as to prevent conflict from arising is a higher ideal than learning to have a "healthy dialogue" about it.
    34
  308. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK I've been conducting a lot of consultations with men recently who are the horns of a dilemma, namely: they feel the need to choose between two women for a relationship. In every instance, they fall prey to the cognitive trap of comparing the women in question against each other. In this episode, I explain why this tends to leads to sub-optimal outcomes and how to approach this "good" problem more effectively. Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
    34
  309. Monkey branching is the phenomenon in which one person swings from one relationship to the next, with little to no time between the two. If both men and women can do this, why is the behavior so much more common in women than it is in men? Much like in business, the largest jumps in position and compensation generally occur when workers move between companies (rather than when they remain within the same company). And when preparing for such a move, it is advantageous for workers to remain in their current positions until they receive a binding offer. Relationships operate in the same way. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #relationship #psychology #women
    34
  310.  @kellygreenii  I made an episode on this topic a while back, called "To be free, you cannot do whatever you want". If you haven't already, you may want to check it out.
    34
  311. Absolutely. The best way to prevent your man from lusting after younger women is to be a younger woman. If the age gap is sufficient, his libido will gradually decline in concert with her physically attractiveness. At least in this respect, it's a situation conducive to long-term stability.
    34
  312. I've walked away from someone I loved too. It was intensely painful, but I knew it was the right thing to do. Years later, I know that I made the right choice. Sometimes you just have to love people from a distance.
    34
  313. You're free to do what you want, brother -- but you may be waiting for a while. 😅
    33
  314. One of the primary reasons why people reach out to me for a consultation is for help changing a long-standing relationship dynamic. While it is possible to alter even deep-seated issues, it takes time, it may not resolve completely, and it always, always gets worse before it gets better. In this episode, I'll explain why this is the case by approaching change through the (often unappreciated) lens of behavioral psychology. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #change #relationship
    33
  315. In all domains of life, there is a difference between "what works" and "what should work" or "how things should be." As a scientist, it's my job to understand the former. And I can assure you that "damseling" is a highly effective strategy for women to employ in the game of sexual relationships. Conceptually, it's an interested strategy for me, because it's one of the most gender-specific strategies in the game of please-no. Women don't use it on other women, and it's extremely difficult for men to use it with anyone. But women can and do use it on men (irrespective of whether they "should"). I think all men "fall for" damseling at least once -- though the more successful ones learn to recognize this strategy for what it is. The degree to which a man is susceptible depends on two things: (a) the extent to which he believes in the story of the woman's "helplessness," and (b) the degree to which he can tolerate the distress of others without taking action.
    33
  316. You could say the same of any emotion. However, it falls to us to work with our natures to cultivate the highest expressions of ourselves.
    33
  317. That could very well be the case. I've seen that attitude in some of my younger, male clients. However, it's quite possible, that we all have to learn that lesson the hard way.
    32
  318. Yes -- porn has definitely changed men's motivations, incentives, and expectations when it comes to dating and relationships. I'd say it's a "problem," but it's hard to know what to do to address it. I think each individual man has to come to terms with the relative costs and benefits of porn himself.
    32
  319. A true statement across many domains of life.
    32
  320. Thanks for the love, Emily. If you haven't already, you may want to check out my episode "Covert contracts," which explores this idea further.
    32
  321. Hi, Melody. Excellent question. I made a video on the block-and-replace technique a while back. You can watch it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyMFcjlmUz4
    32
  322. When I was a teacher, some of my students would occasionally balk at my system. They believed that some steps were needless (and would cut corners), or that the whole approach was wrong (and unlikely to succeed). My response to these students would be that they only way for them to prove that I was wrong was for them to do exactly what I told them to do and have it not work. Otherwise, it would be impossible to determine to what extent the error was in my system or in their execution. It's counterintuitive, but allowing people to be wrong without interfering is one of the most persuasive ways of arguing their incorrectness. There are obviously limits to that: we shouldn't "let people be wrong" about how much weight a bridge can support or whether to go skydiving without a parachute. But most of the time the consequences aren't nearly so dire.
    32
  323. Most of the popular metrics people use to understand others -- attachment styles, Myers-Briggs, love languages -- are functionally useless for predicting behavior. The key to understanding others lies in appreciating the incentives under which they are operating: the carrot and the stick. Keep in mind that, in order to be motivating, these incentives don't actually have to exist in reality: they need only exist in their perceptions. In this episode, I discuss some of the ramifications of these observations. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #personality #wisdom
    32
  324. Modern dating can be a frustrating, disappointing, and crazy-making experience. In this episode, I share my trick for participating in the sexual marketplace without succumbing to rage or despair: high hopes and low expectations. The idea is to enter into the timeless present and surrender the realization of the smallest next possible step. This also increases your attractiveness by showing up as present and engaged. It takes some practice, but it's worth doing. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
    32
  325. It's hard to make friends. You might want to check out my episode "Persona 5 and confidants" on the friend-making protocol.
    32
  326. A fulfilling life is a supremely good thing. To attain it, a person must have vision -- imagination plus granularity -- and a person must have want -- the synthesis of will and desire. In this episode, I will discuss how to cultivate both of these capacities. I also stress the importance of planning for a continuous stream of average Tuesdays, as opposed to a sporadic discontinuity of peak experiences. Finally, I touch on the wisdom of prioritizing the process of becoming, over and above having become. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by @valntinomusic. Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #lifehacks #lifestyle #psychology
    32
  327. Is it possible to attain wisdom without having to learn the hard way? In today's episode, I discuss how people learn by walking the two paths: the path of light and the path of pain. Most people learn most of their lessons on the path of pain, which is a kind of feedback that the models from which our behavior proceeds are not aligned with reality. Fortunately, we can all learn to walk on the path of light by learning from the pain of others. Join my community: https://the-captains-quarters.mn.co Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #wisdom #experience
    32
  328. Thanks for sharing, Kate. This sounds like a good example of what I was getting at.
    31
  329. Don't try to be perfect.
    31
  330. The purpose of walking away is not to get people to chase after you -- though some will. It is a form of self-respect that will create new opportunities from otherwise wasted effort.
    31
  331. Haha sure! In my case, I thought that becoming a psychologist would mean that everyone would respectfully refer to me as "doctor," and defer to my clinical judgment. I thought that my brilliant insights would effortlessly heal the afflicted, and that I would be recognized by certain people as "finally making something of myself." I also thought I would be a lot like my own therapist. Needless to say, these things did not come to pass. But fortunately my more grounded due diligence correctly predicted that this career would be a good fit for me. With career, you kinda have to understand what you would actually do on a daily basis, and examine whether the everyday responsibilities would likely bring you satisfaction and meaning.
    30
  332. I used to be an actor myself. So I can confirm that performing on stage is hugely attractive to women. And I think this is because of the social confirmation it confers. When hundreds of people are looking at you and calling your name, it dramatically increases your attractiveness (see: "People want what other people want"). This has nothing to do with romance. You could play a power ballad or a punk rock anthem, the effect would be the same.
    30
  333. Given what we understand about female mating and dating behavior, it's possible to play the chess out twenty moves and consider the various endgames that women will face in the sexual marketplace. There are actually not very many. In this episode, I discuss the five ways it can end for any given woman, and provide rough probability estimates for each scenario. Chris Rock "Never Scared": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2o4Maz7Qvc Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #women
    30
  334. A few weeks ago, PsycHacks passed an important milestone in the history of the channel: 100,000 subscribers! In the busyness of everyday life, this moment passed without much fanfare. However, I thought it would be appropriate to really acknowledge the event and appreciate its significance. In today's episode, I talk about some of my experiences behind the scenes and my intentions of the future. Let's keep going! Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #thankyou #youtube
    30
  335. The common definition of a miracle is an event that shouldn't be possible given our understanding of physical reality. As such, the standard of comparison is the "normal" functioning of reality, which is considered "non-miraculous" by definition. However, if the standard of comparison were shifted to the no-thingness of pre-creation, then everything -- down to the most insignificant and commonplace details of life -- becomes miraculous. This is because there is nothing in nothing that could presume the existence of anything. Pre-order my book: https://amzn.to/3UlsTsY Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #meditation #spirituality
    30
  336. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK People often consider self-respect to be a unilateral positive that has no downside. However, this isn't true. The problem with self-respect is that it is costly. Using Linehan's model of interpersonal effectiveness, I explain why standing up for yourself can often lead to sub-optimal outcomes. This goal should only be prioritized sparingly to ensure objective effectiveness and harmonious relationships. Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #success
    30
  337. Not really. If you leave an unfulfilling job, you will likely care very little if the company hires someone else to fill the position. Being replaced isn't inherently painful. But emotional attachment - desiring outside your domain of control - is.
    29
  338. Yeah -- I have a friend like that. I only seem to hear from him when he's going through relationship problems. I've called him on it, and he's made some effort to change, but that's ultimately who he is. If he weren't already such a close friend of mine, I would have distanced myself from him by now. As it is, however, it's not worth it to me to cut him out of my life just for that.
    29
  339. Thanks for the love, brother.
    29
  340. While many 18 year-olds have poor boundaries, that's not why older men "go for" them.
    29
  341. I don't know Keanu Reeves personally, but my hunch is that he didn't pick an age-appropriate woman to be his mate. He picked his mate, who happened to be age-appropriate (for other people).
    29
  342. People typically accept the love they feel they deserve. It could also be the case that your husband is more comfortable in the adorer role, and the dynamic has shifted to accommodate this preference. The upshot is that you likely feel less toward him in general, because you have increasingly come to occupy the role of the adored. If you haven't already, you might want to check out my episodes "The balance of attraction," "Being with the one you love," and "Being loved by the one you're with." Thanks for watching.
    29
  343. Well said.
    29
  344. The majority of American marriages are sexless, according to the research.
    29
  345. Yes -- I made an episode on that a while back. If you haven't done so already, you can check out "The truth about unconditional love".
    29
  346.  @modickens1272  If they are not intentionally re-programmed, they will.
    29
  347. I've been there, Mo. Some people choose to conflate disagreement, even when done tactfully, with disrespect. To these folks, disagreement is an attack on their worldview as opposed to an opportunity to broaden their horizons. What's more, because they feel disrespected, they generally assume that the intention was to disrespect, which can serve to justify their emotional reactions. In my experience, it's often better to simply let such people be wrong.
    29
  348. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. My episode, "The gift of your absence," recently passed 100,000 views on YouTube. So I thought I'd take this opportunity to release an update responding to some of your feedback and criticism. Most importantly, I want to clarify that the primary goal in giving someone the gift of your absence is not to manipulate someone to chase after you. This can happen, but it shouldn't be your primary motivation. Rather, this is fundamentally a strategy to increase your own self-value by exercising self-respect. This can be attractive in its own right -- over and above the value added by your scarcity. Thanks for your support!! Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available on Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, and others. To schedule a consultation: psychackspodcast@gmail.com Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com #relationships #respect #value
    28
  349. That sounds fairly accurate to me. You said it yourself: "this is the age group I would have dated when I was younger." If you were dating older men when you were younger, it means you weren't dating men your own age. Once these men grow up, they want to experience what was often denied them in their youth.
    28
  350. The things you might be insecure about might be complete invisible to others...
    28
  351. Like many of you, I have a morning ritual that includes prayer and meditation. For many years, part of that ritual has been praying that "all beings be free of suffering" -- which is a traditional Buddhist loving-kindness mantra. However, over the course of this practice, I realized that my conceptualization of suffering -- and prayer and God -- was superficial and immature. To liberate people from suffering, we will all need to address the root cause of the problem. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #buddhism #meditation
    28
  352. This is a difficult problem, and one that most heartbroken people have to struggle with in the wake of a breakup. Eventually it becomes necessary to kill the hope inside, but this can feel like an act of violence against a cherished part of yourself -- so it's not easy to do. I'll make an episode on this topic in the future.
    28
  353. This talk will be a continuation of my previous episode "When are men and women most attractive?" So be sure to listen to that one first. In this episode, I'll be taking some of the results discussed in the peer-reviewed article "Aspirational pursuit of mates in online dating markets" (link below) one step further, namely: by advancing my own hypothesis on why people get married when they do. Given the data on perceived desirability across the lifespan, it makes sense from a game theory perspective that women would push for long-term commitment while the desirability gap still favors them. The data show that this gap switches preference around 30 years of age. Is it just a coincidence that the median age of women at first marriage in the US is 29 years-old? "Aspirational pursuit of mates in online dating markets": https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/sciadv.aap9815 Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com
    28
  354. The value of recognition is inversely proportional to the degree to which you are paid in other ways. When you are unhappy or underpaid, recognition becomes very important to you; however, if you are happy and overpaid, it becomes significantly less so. As a result, we can consider recognition to be a poor man's currency. This is because rich men are paid in money. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com
    28
  355. A lot of the issues that people are subject to facing in their adult lives stem from failures in their childhood environments. And in my clinical experience, these issues are somewhat different depending on whether the failure originated in the father or in the mother. In today's episode, I'll be comparing mother love and father love: how they might be distinct from each other and why both are instrumental to the well-being of the child. Join my community: https://the-captains-quarters.mn.co Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #mother #father
    28
  356. That's my mission with this channel: to help you see the world in a slightly different light.
    27
  357. The greatest darkness borders the brightest flame. Opposites tend to attract; however, it's shared values and emotional alignment that persists.
    27
  358. This can happen. As one of my favorite YouTube personalities (Chaz Ellis) says, "the game doesn't run on gratitude." However, it's also true that the older man could drop you for a younger model, as well. Perhaps the provision you receive in the meantime will compensate for this, but it's a gamble either way.
    27
  359. Faith can be a tricky thing, Renee. I wish I could say mine is always strong, but I think it ebbs and flows over time. It may not come back "as it was," but it may return as you need it now.
    27
  360. Hi, Lee. For better or worse, we live in an age where we are hyper-accessible. There's email, snail mail, texting, social media, phone calls, telegrams, skywriting, and plan old showing up at your door. It has never been easier to reach someone in all of human history. This means that if someone is not contacting you, it is because they have decided not to make the minimum amount of effort to do so. Trust me: if someone wants to reach you, they will.
    27
  361. An insight from Maria Elena!
    27
  362. When it comes to relationships, it's very difficult to secure the relationship terms you would prefer with the person you would prefer to have a relationship with. The more people place the person ahead of the terms -- or the more desirable the person with whom they are attempting to transact -- the more likely they will need to cede their relationship preferences. This is often the cost of doing business. They secure the relationship -- but at what cost? I call this winning to lose. Ultimately, it's important to ask yourself: "what do you hope to gain?" Learn more: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Join my community: https://the-captains-quarters.mn.co Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
    27
  363. Even kings and emperors are replaced -- which could very well be a good thing for the rest of us. 😅 However, just because you can be replaced, it doesn't mean you're replaceable "in a minute." Like @TRP Web said, your unique value can't be replaced at all. And the better you are at what you do, the longer it takes to find a functional replacement.
    27
  364. That sounds like a very important realization. Love cannot be earned, because it's a gift that is always given at the pleasure of the giver. If you haven't done so already, you might want to check out my episode on "Covert contracts."
    27
  365. This is complicated. I have two possible explanations. The first is that these men are starving for sex and female attention. And, like famished people generally, they try to get as much as they can, as fast as they can. This is because they have a scarcity mentality, and so they cannot trust that the opportunity with last or be replicated. The second is that they are saying what they think women want to hear in order to get access to sex and female attention. Since most women on dating apps go out of their way to indicate that they are only looking for "serious relationships," men are going to mirror that interest in order to get their foot in the door. My next episode will talk more about this.
    27
  366. I think both things (society sells romance to men; men sell romance to women) are true. The issue is that this isn't conscious for most people. Listen to the "Chasing Cars" lyrics. He is clearly propositioning the woman (i.e., "If I do this, would you do that?"), which is functionally a sale. However, I doubt the man experiences his offer in that light. He isn't aware that he is trying to sell a certain type of negotiated relationship (which means he "bought" the sale from society hook, line, and sinker). If romance is something that a man needs to believe in so that he's willing to put in the work to maintain a relationship, then romance (which comes and goes, and only touches a minority of men at any one time) does not serve women. This would diminish even further the pool of motivated and available partners, increasing competition between women and augmenting men's value as a scarcer resource.
    27
  367. Thanks for watching, Vy. Both sexes contain aspects of the masculine and the feminine. However, with respect to heterosexual relationships, things generally progress more smoothly when the man is predominantly masculine, and the woman is predominantly feminine.
    27
  368. It takes effort, patience, and communication to make a relationship work when both parties prefer to occupy the same position. This is because these patterns are often very deep. And what people say they want isn't always what they positively respond to. The path forward is for each person to examine his or her beliefs about being the adored. It's often the case that people harbor negative beliefs about this position, thinking it selfish or exploitative. And so occupying this position would make them selfish or exploitative (in their own minds). However, if they can see that this isn't always the case -- that the adored provides a service to the adorer -- they can potentially move forward.
    27
  369. In the course of my work, I'm occasionally asked why I do what I do. It's a complicated question, but -- by way of an answer -- I'd like to offer an anecdote from my life. On a Saturday night many years ago, I ended up directing traffic at a chaotic intersection in New York City. The moral of the story is that the world doesn't need more people getting irate or walking past the problem. The peanut gallery is full. If you see an issue, and no one else is solving it, then congratulations: you've just been elected. Become part of the solution, and your life will be an adventure. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #leadership #adventure
    26
  370. If something resonates with you, you may have to watch it a few times in order to integrate the teaching. Thanks for the support!
    26
  371. We teach others how to treat us. Boundaries communicate the limit between acceptable and unacceptable behavior.
    26
  372. @Mandy Mikulka If this is true about women, but not true about men, then she should talk to her girlfriends to feel heard. Kurt Vonnegut used to say that the problem with modern relationships is that women used to have 500 other women to talk to, and men used to have 500 other men to do things with. Instead of finding a community, women want to use a man to talk, and men want to use a woman to do things with.
    26
  373. Whatever works for you!
    26
  374. Of course. Anyone can walk away at any time. And one of the easiest ways to make sure nothing follows you is to put some money on the table. This is why successful companies offer severance: it's a defensive strategy against litigation (which would be even more expensive).
    26
  375. Initiating a conversation is like getting into a cool pool. It's always uncomfortable for the first 30 seconds, and then you adapt.
    26
  376. It's important to understand that men and women prioritize different things in the mate selection process. One of the mistakes that modern women tend to make is to believe that what they find attractive in men is what men find attractive in women. And hence, in part, the drive in women to excel, achieve, earn, and accomplish. While these can obviously be impressive in their own right, they don't significantly improve the woman's attractiveness. In general, men will choose the accomplished, high-achieving woman only if she's at least equal to his other options in higher-ranking considerations. Most men (or women) are not going to be making six figures when they are 25 years-old. So you will need to look to older (and, potentially, significantly older) men if you want to date above your earning. And these older men will likely value your youth and appearance above your income and accomplishments (especially considering the fact that it sounds like he will have more of both).
    26
  377. Absolutely. A reality-based plan is key. A goal without a means of attaining it is just a dream.
    26
  378. "To want" means "to lack." So it makes sense that people want what they don't have, and to want less what they do. That said, by the time career women (or career men) come into their own financially, they're generally already in their early 30s. It's also important to understand that older men don't simply represent the possibility of access to greater resources. Older men typically have established lifestyles, emotional self-control, sexual experience, communication skills, etc.
    26
  379. This relationship is very important to me, as well.
    26
  380. Hi, Charlie. It sounds like you've recognized in yourself some co-dependent tendencies (i.e., the fixer), and that you have worked to address the anxiety that may have undergirded them. In the past, I think I've fought to keep people in my life because (a) I didn't trust they would choose to say of their own accord, and (b) I didn't think I would be able to recover from the loss. However, having since addressed some issues related to my underlying self-worth, I'm happy to say that I no longer "need" certain people to stay in my life.
    26
  381. I wouldn't disagree. Especially if we're using "pathetic" in its original meaning, as in "capable of inspiring pathos, or pity." If women understood the male sexual instinct, they would likely feel pity. That said, it's important to understand that this behavior in men is actually the reproductive equivalent to the "biological clock" in women. It operates a little differently to reflect the divergent roles of parenthood, but it's the same instinctual drive.
    26
  382. Thanks for the feedback, Isoka. I was actually worried that folks might take it the wrong way...
    25
  383. I was thrilled to be able to sit down recently with Rog Ager of Collative Learning (link below). To my mind, Rob is one of the most brilliant film analysts putting out content on the Internet, a feat he accomplishes without being esoteric or pedantic. Over the course of our conversation, we discuss the field of semiotics, the use of archetypical symbols in the work of Stanley Kubrick, and -- one of my favorite topics -- the James Bond series. I hope you enjoy the talk as much as I did. Collative Learning: https://www.youtube.com/@collativelearning Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #film #collativelearning
    25
  384. This can certainly happen. However, I think it's much more common for men to settle down when the women they happen to be with at the time are ready.
    25
  385. I've found that, once you stand up to them, most bullies will try to find an easier mark. Even if they could succeed in extracting what they want, if you put up enough resistance, then the juice becomes not worth the squeeze.
    25
  386. I often work with highly successful men. These people have achieved everything society tells them they should want, but they often still feel unfulfilled. This is because achievement and fulfillment aren't really the same thing. In today's episode, I discuss a method for creating more meaning in your life by asking yourself a counterintuitive question: "what would I (still) do, if I knew I couldn't succeed?" Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #meaning #purpose
    25
  387. I would say that a therapist who feels shame and disgust when a patient shows emotion probably chose the wrong profession. And, like in any profession, the majority of therapists will be mediocre at best. Good therapists exist, but it can take some time to find them.
    25
  388. It's true: all relationships have a power dynamic. And (in many cases) there are ways to navigate that dynamic that leave both parties satisfied. This is because legitimate power is a tradeoff with responsibility. Many people would gladly forgo a greater share of the power, if it meant they would have fewer responsibilities in the relationship (and vice versa).
    25
  389. Love me some Teddy.
    25
  390. I consider myself a perfectionist in recovery. In this episode, I discuss some of the realizations I had that helped me overcome this debilitating habit many years ago. By understanding why (and how) I was selectively attending to certain aspects of my work and life (and not others), I was able to see the absurdity at the heart of my perfectionism, which substantially affected my willingness to maintain the habit. Pre-order my book: https://amzn.to/3UlsTsY Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #perfect #success
    25
  391. If you haven't already, you may want to check out my episodes "Believe it to see it" and "How to improve your luck." I talk about each one of those concepts there.
    25
  392. This is a lesson I learned from years of playing soccer. Nothing ever ends when you think it will. There is always penalty time, an extension of the struggle with an uncertain duration. Planning for penalty time will help see you through to the real finish line. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com #soccer #worldcup #psychology
    25
  393. It's true. The dedication of top performers is amazing.
    25
  394. I was something of a late bloomer. I only really started to get my act together around 30. That was my path
    25
  395. No, the flavor is irreplaceable. That's part of a person's uniqueness. And that's what makes life bittersweet. It's sweet, because there is abundance and growth and opportunity. And it's bitter because everything is irrecoverably lost in time. But, having been lost, it is preserved with indelible permanence. Life is complicated.
    25
  396. Apparently, this idiom is derived from a quote by Mark Twain. There seems to be a few different attributions, but here's one: "If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning." I couldn't find an exact citation though. Twain is excellent, for those who haven't yet read him.
    24
  397. That is true.
    24
  398. It's true. Our reactions dictate whether or not the critic was successful. A weapon that does not harm ceases to be a weapon.
    24
  399. I agree -- this dynamic can be applied to many different relationships. The question of why the "adored" lose their value in the eyes of the "adorers" is an interesting one. My hunch is that it has to do with unwanted changes in the gap of attraction, likely precipitated by behaviors in the adored that conflict with the projections of the adorer. Most attraction is projection. We like people we've never met or know very little about, and our ideas of others are largely based on fancy. The play continues until the adored says or does something that jars with our projection, and the illusion is shattered, like an actor breaking the fourth wall. The higher our attraction, the more radical that jarring behavior must be. Once lost, it's very difficult for the adored to return to their previous levels of adoration. At the very least, the two will need time and space away from each other. Good question.
    24
  400. Giving some people another chance is like waiting around for them to reload.
    24
  401. @Abc Defgh If women don't want promiscuous men, then who exactly are all the promiscuous men sleeping with? The truth is that people want what other people want. And the research indicates that this is very much the case in sexual selection.
    24
  402. Stay tuned. I have an episode in the works on just that subject.
    24
  403. Took me a long time to figure both of those things out.
    24
  404. The best way to keep a man around is to let him do whatever he wants. His reward for being a good boyfriend should not be a reduction in the freedoms and privileges he enjoyed as a single man. It's very important for women to understand this.
    24
  405. That's a useful perspective for a number of reasons. It suggests that we all play (or have the capacity to play) a number of roles in our lives. And that one role isn't necessarily "better" than another.
    24
  406. It's for each of us to decide how to live our lives; however, we can't expect everyone (or even most people) to support our choices. That's the price you pay for living in an unconventional way. But there's a price to be paid for trying to live conventionally, if that doesn't accord with your values.
    23
  407.  @DavenH  A lawyer's time outside of work might be worth even more than that. The more he works, the more valuable his free time becomes. Once a professional decides he would rather not work for an hour than earn one more hour of wages, he is functionally admitting that his free time is worth more than his professional rate.
    23
  408. If he's old enough to know better, it's not your job to make sure he does.
    23
  409. Focus is a growth multiplier: with the correct focus, a person needs fewer repetitions to attain to a certain level of competence.
    23
  410.  @audrydayes  I depends on the ages of the individuals involved; however, I think 8-12 years is a good window.
    23
  411. Yes -- perfectionists struggle with the third step most of all. And I'm a perfectionist in recovery.
    23
  412. Confront the shadow in yourself, not other people. That's the message of the parable.
    23
  413. Oh dear. All men pay, my friend. Be wary of the free lunch.
    23
  414. This is correct. Research has shown that people are more attractive to others when their feelings are unclear.
    23
  415. It's true. Exes often come back when (a) they are feeling low and vulnerable, or (b) when they sense that you are moving on. If this is the case, they will often leave again after they feel sufficiently reassured.
    23
  416. This is similar to Epictetus's advice. Say: "If they really knew me, they could say much worse."
    22
  417. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Rich Strike, the winner of the 2022 Kentucky Derby, had 99-1 odds! This one's for the ladies! In this episode, I'm going to discuss a useful mate selection strategy for straight women. Research indicates that the vast majority of you are competing for the relatively small percentage of men at the top of the hierarchy. While this seems like a good strategy, as these guys have already demonstrated that they possess the traits you might be looking for, it means that you're potentially only one option among many for the men you are targeting. A better approach is to find your dark horse: an underdog performer who ends up winning the race. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available on Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com #dating #relationships #darkhorse
    22
  418.  @janinegeorgette3708  Have you checked out my video to women? I published it the other day: "Ladies: find your dark horse." If a woman is not physically attractive, then she should strive to useful. Learn about a man's plans and help him achieve them. In that way, she can become increasingly indispensable to him.
    22
  419. Thanks for the support! It helps me keep going.
    22
  420. There's no guarantee anyone will be faithful. That's why trust is essential to the functioning of all relationships. The only alternative is control.
    22
  421.  @PharmacyTechLabs  The "matters of the heart" argument is a common refutation to the economic (or game theory) models. However, if it were true, wouldn't it be heard from both sides? In my experience, you don't hear this argument as much from the partner who provides more value. Within the model, this argument is a tactic used by the partner who provides less to persuade the partner who provides more to ignore the value differential, thereby increasing the former's chances of securing a desired relationship.
    22
  422. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. If you're having trouble keeping a promising relationship past the six-month mark, then this episode is for you. The truth is that most relationships don't last, and the primary reason why they don't is something that I call the "crisis of disillusionment." Almost all relationships are built upon an initial foundation of projected fantasy. Over time, disconfirming evidence to the contrary accumulates and the fantasy eventually is unable to withstand the assault of reality: this is the crisis of disillusionment. It's inevitable, and it's really when the relationship begins -- if it ever does. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com #dating #relationship #datingadvice
    22
  423. @icequeen555  Leonardo DiCaprio (47 y/o) is currently dating model Camila Morrone (25 y/o). I don't know Leonardo DiCaprio personally, but I doubt he sees her as a weak creature that he can prey upon (or that she sees him as a rich sap that she can take advantage of). Both have an extravagant number of options. Of all the women Leo could date, he chose Camila; of all the men Camila could date, she chose Leo. And I doubt any women would begrudge her choice. What woman wouldn't date Leo, if he was an option for her? Men look at the situation the same way from the opposite perspective. It's hard to see what most men (or women) want, because, in most cases, their desire is limited by their optionality. That's why examples like this are so instructive. The trick is to suspend judgement on how things "should" be, and to allow the data to speak for themselves.
    22
  424. Hi, Driada. The best books on this subject are De Rougemont's "Love in the western world" (cited in my episode, "The origin of romance") and Johnson's "We," which explored the Tristan and Isolde myth in depth. Enjoy!
    22
  425. That's an interesting point, Marta. Love bombing and flattery can be very effective on certain people. Though I wonder if it would be correct to say that narcissists and pick up artists actually "want" their targets -- though I could be splitting hairs here. I think people can also want people who want them. That is, they decide to desire from among the subset of people who desire them. This is a pretty smart thing to do, actually. In this case, however, they are still wanting what they want. So the Law still holds true.
    22
  426. "The serotonin theory of depression: a systematic umbrella review of the evidence": https://www.nature.com/articles/s41380-022-01661-0 Depression is one of the most prevalent mental illnesses on the planet. Unfortunately, most people misunderstand it. They believe that it exists solely between the ears of the individual in question. This gives rise to the "intrapsychic fallacy", which maintains that depression is either in the brain (the monoamine hypothesis) or the mind (the cognitive hypothesis). However, if this were true, then the interventions designed to address the brain and the mind should have better outcomes. I present an alternative model in this episode. Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness
    22
  427. Well said. And thanks for your support!
    22
  428. I don't often talk about the empirical literature on this channel. This is because -- having conducted some research in my time -- I understand how easy it is to lie under the guise of objectivity. Without a thorough grounding in statistics, modeling, and research design, it is next to impossible to evaluate the merit of any given study, and experiments can be custom-tailored to their desired outcomes. Rather than give excessive consideration to what is factually accurate, I'm more concerned with what is meaningfully true. This leads to two conceptualizations of science, which I will discuss further in this episode. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #science #knowledge
    22
  429. "Love" is the conflation of many different concepts. I use the word "limerence" to mean "the feeling of being in love." Almost everyone experiences this as involuntary, but it's certainly not always unwanted. There are many people out there chasing a feeling, and ending otherwise functional relationships because "they're not in love anymore."
    21
  430. I like the idea of "appearance tax brackets." It's unfair, but some women just hit the genetic lottery. It would be disingenuous to suggest that women in a lower bracket could compete with a "billionaire" for male attention. That said, there are many things a woman can do to present herself in the best possible light. Being physically fit, dressing well, practicing femininity, etc. will all increase a woman's perceived sexual marketplace value. As you say, you're not interested in spending your life minutes or money on these things. There's nothing morally wrong with that. However, men might be giving you the feedback that they're not interested in spending their life minutes or money on you for some reason. And there's nothing morally wrong with that. It sounds like you're dissatisfied with your dating prospects, and that you're dissatisfied with the idea of spending the time, energy, and money to improve them. So you might be dissatisfied either way. The question would then be: "which flavor of dissatisfaction gets you more or what you want?"
    21
  431. It's good that you're realizing this, and even better that you're willing to do something about it. The tendency is judge others is a mental habit -- but a habit nonetheless. So it can be overcome like any other habit that no longer serves you. Good luck!
    21
  432. It's my favorite shirt.
    21
  433. A salesman doesn't pretend that he doesn't want a sale; he's a salesman. However, he also doesn't go out of his way to remind his customers that's what he's looking for. That kind of approach is weird and off-putting to customers. Why? Because the salesman's commission frankly is not the customers' problem. The salesman's best bet at solving his problem (i.e., getting a sale) is by solving his customers' problems.
    21
  434. In this sponsored episode, I talk about the failure of a bill legislating the creation of a state commission on men's and boy's issues from receiving a hearing on the floor of the Washington state House of Representatives for the second year in a row -- despite being authored by two women and enjoying bipartisan support. I discuss why that might be the case, including: the common misconception that men and women's success is a zero sum game, and the usefulness of fomenting animosity between the sexes. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #men #menshealth #women
    21
  435. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. After my episode, "Women treat men the way men treat jobs," I received a lot of requests asking for the same treatment from the other direction, namely: what are women to men? I've given it some thought, and this is what I came up with. Keep in mind that my intention here is to help women understand some otherwise bewildering male behavior so they can accept, heal, and ultimately have more rewarding relationships in the future. This is a longer treatment, so be sure to say until the end. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com
    21
  436. Thanks for the love, Chris. I'm working on it
    21
  437. Is that what I said?
    21
  438. Makes sense to me
    21
  439. Yeah -- I think a lot of us have found out some of the liabilities of long-distance relationships the hard way. The infrequent person-to-person contact creates gaps in our knowledge base that our attraction generally fills it with what it wants to see there. As long as the other person doesn't do anything to overtly disrupt that projection, we can fall increasingly in love with our own idealized object.
    21
  440. A lot of people struggle with the need to justify their own existence. If you're interested, I made a couple of videos on the subject: "Life is like Disneyland" and "If you're in the park you must have a ticket."
    21
  441. "Not advisable". Got it.
    21
  442. That's an interesting point. I think in such cases the fear may be associated with losing access to the positive emotion. We fear disappointing those that love us not because we fear an angry reprisal, but a withdrawal of affection.
    21
  443. Love in such a way that the other is free to choose you every day.
    20
  444. That's the source of a good deal of unnecessary suffering on this planet. It's a tough lesson to learn, but one better learned sooner as opposed to later.
    20
  445. This was a good take. I talk about my theory on how the profession got to be this way in my episode "Why men don't go to therapy."
    20
  446. I think many women in that situation will still choose to get married. This is because, when women do get married, they almost always marry a man with more resources than her. This increases her buying/burrowing power by at least 2x, allowing her access to an even better lifestyle than she currently enjoys. Marriage also protects her differentially in a divorce, which (statistically speaking) is more likely to happen than not. Basically, marriage isn't a risk for women -- it's a risk for men.
    20
  447. That's right: "simple isn't easy" (I have a video on that). I'm also creating a new episode that speaks to the phenomenon you described. So stay tuned and be kind to yourself!
    20
  448. Thanks for your support, Arjun. Help spread the word!
    20
  449. In some cases, it's that. In many cases, it's social pressure and the threat of losing a woman if he doesn't.
    20
  450. Thanks for the support, Allen. It also took me a long time to learn certain principles of dating and attraction. But, as you note, it's better late than never.
    20
  451. Keep in mind that incentives are what actually motivate behavior -- not what we might think should do so.
    20
  452. Once someone passes through tragedy, they are no longer the same person, and their perception of reality has fundamentally changed. There is no going back. And this means that there are generally two classes of people: those who have passed through tragedy, and those who haven't passed through tragedy yet. These two groups basically live in two different worlds, in which many features of reality are invisible to those in the second category. I illustrate the psychological truth of this statement with an example from "Harry Potter." Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com
    20
  453. I've actually been working on a book on the subject for a while. I hope to give it more attention in the coming months. At the very least, I'll likely be discussing relationships on this channel for some time to come. So keep coming back.
    20
  454. You gotta use what you have to make room for more...
    20
  455. Or that straight people aren't complicated enough. There's this general belief in a "one-size-fits-all" relationship that is rather peculiar, given its terrible outcome data.
    20
  456. They generally are. I hope my own transatlantic flights are unexciting.
    20
  457. Thanks, Linda. I'm doing my best!
    20
  458. One of my general orientations to communication is to never say anything about anyone that you wouldn't feel comfortable saying directly to his or her face. However, there is one exception to this orientation. It's a more advanced strategy, and it's what I'm going to discuss in this episode. Basically, you're allowed to say things about others behind their backs that you wouldn't say to their faces, if what you say is positive. This is such an underutilized social hack that most people won't know how to deal with it. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #gossip #relationship #social
    20
  459. It's certainly true that this idea is perpetuated by our culture. However, I think that attraction proxies are fundamentally an anxiety reduction strategy. For many men, the prospect of approaching and seducing and relating to women is highly anxiety-provoking -- whereas making money and cultivating professional success is less so. So they're avoiding the source of the anxiety, and rationalizing that avoidance as an indirect strategy to achieving the desired outcome.
    20
  460. That is an amazing story. Thanks for sharing.
    20
  461. Imagine if that was how other businesses operated. Check out "Exclusivity is expensive".
    20
  462. People are more attracted to people whose feelings are unclear.
    20
  463. Citation needed.
    20
  464. I understand why women put that language in their dating profiles. It just doesn't have the effect that they intend. All people are averse to the idea of a second, unpaid job (i.e., a "real" relationship takes "work"). So I would be cautious about using language that even remotely suggests that possibility. Relationships should develop organically out of the connection between the two specific individuals involved. In this way, the people come before the relationship -- not the other way around. When women create the impression that they already know what kind of relationship they want prior to meeting their partner , men get (rightly) spooked. To men, these women look like they have a "boyfriend" or "husband" cutout, and they're looking for a warm body to stuff in it. This is not an attractive prospect to a man, who very likely will prefer his own lifestyle to one "offered" by a woman.
    20
  465. Life is a series of nested games. The game of survival, the game of money, the game of relationships. At any given moment, you're probably playing several at any one time, whether you like it or not. And typically the better you get at playing a game, the more you tend to enjoy it. So if you can't stop playing, it's best to focus on becoming the best player you can be.
    19
  466. I'm fascinated by dating and relationships. Not only because they're so complex, but because they are often very counterintuitive. The domain of attraction and sexuality is one in which what people say deviates significantly from what they actually do; so teasing apart why people do what they do in this domain is particularly tricky and rewarding.
    19
  467. "People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." - Maya Angelou
    19
  468.  @ABC123-u6h  That's not really how I meant it. If it didn't work out, there might be some positives to the fact that the experience was unique...
    19
  469. Learn more about Ken at https://solidman.com I enjoyed the opportunity to sit down with my friend and colleague, Ken Curry. Like me, Ken is a male therapist who specializes in men's mental health. He also runs a few virtual men's groups, based on his "Solid Man" process, out of his home state of Colorado (see below). In this conversation, we discuss how to avoid the 10,000 concessions that lead to the abdication of frame in long-term relationships, the pros (and cons) of marriage, and some of the challenges faced by modern men. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #masculinity #relationship
    19
  470. I've worked with a lot of successful salesmen in my practice. It can a highly rewarding profession, but precisely because there is no ceiling (you can always make one more call, close one more deal) it can become addictive or compulsive to certain folks. Personally, I love my work -- but I definitely work to live (as opposed to live to work).
    19
  471. It is a much-lamented fact that time seems to move faster as we age. However, what accounts for this phenomenon? In today's episode, I discuss my pet theory on the subject, namely: the perception of the rate of time is inversely correlated with the expenditure of cognitive resources. This means that time seems to move slower when we engage in bottom-up processing, and faster when we engage in top-down processing. Of course, the "movement" of time is an illusion, but that's the subject of another video... Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by @valntinomusic. Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #time #psychology #perception
    19
  472. "I'm interested in finding out what kind of relationship the two of us might be able to have." This is in opposition to determining whether the guy is fit for the kind of relationship you've decided you already want. The people come before the relationship -- not the other way around.
    19
  473. Good point. Since attraction naturally makes people act better, everywhere you look people are having the kinds of relationships they want with the people they would most like to have them with. Relationships really are that simple, and people really are that uncomplicated. But please don't spread it around. It'll ruin our racket as "psychologists."
    19
  474. The paradox of choice is a tricky thing. Take buying a house, for instance. If you only look at one or two properties, it's very easy (and probably correct) to maintain the belief that better options exist. However, if you look at two hundred properties in a short amount of time, it's much harder to do so -- because you know what's out there. Since you have a robust sample of what is available on the market in that place at that time, you functionally have statistical certainty (99.5%) that the next property you look at won't be better than the best of what you've already seen.
    19
  475. I appreciate your comments, Matthew. You add good value here. To the extent that a man is looking for fertility, youth, sweetness, innocence, joy, sex, admiration, and respect, and to the extent that a woman is looking for resources, security, experience, emotional maturity, established lifestyle, communication, commitment, and affection, a 45 year-old man and a 25-year old woman make a pretty good match.
    19
  476. With a new year upon us, many people will be trying to change their behavior in the coming weeks. As we all know, this is not very easy to do. In today's episode, I discuss where the battle is won in order to help facilitate success, namely: in the ten second conflict that generally precedes making an decision. A little discipline goes a long way toward self-improvement, though we can give ourselves an advantage by how we choose to structure our lives. Join my community: https://the-captains-quarters.mn.co Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #selfimprovement #discipline
    19
  477. I think of it more like giving your notice at a job where you are undervalued and underpaid. If you are being exploited, you're not likely to change the culture by sticking around and reasoning with the those responsible. Better to take your labor elsewhere.
    19
  478. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Kindness is actually a fairly complicated construct. It is not synonymous with being nice. Being nice isn't always kind, and being kind isn't always nice. The issue is that there are two faces of kindness, and one without the other is pathological. In this episode, I use concrete examples to demonstrate how kindness without loving honesty is typically a form of enabling that does more harm than good. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com #kindness #emotions #psychology
    19
  479. It's kind of like that.
    19
  480. The more you experience love and warmth as abundant, obtainable resources, the less you will idealize any one source.
    19
  481. I hear you. Don't get me wrong: I love my work. I think I have the best job in the whole world. But I'm not passionate about it. When it's time to work, I work. When it's time to stop, I stop. By keeping passion out of my business, I feel like I can make more objective and rational decisions.
    19
  482. I think both can be true. Most of my guy friends are like the men that @John describes. They become uncomfortable when the conversation drifts into more emotional waters. I've learned that they are good for some things (fun, shared activities, comradery), but not others. When men do talk about their problems, like @Maria Elena mentions, it is usually from a problem-solving perspective. There's a level of commiseration ("that sucks"), and then the conversation generally shifts to "what to do about it." That said, I do have a few close male confidants, with whom I can be emotional honest and forthright, and I am immensely grateful for them.
    19
  483. That's right. There's a playful give-and-take to improvisation. Musicians throw out certain patterns or themes or rhythms, and the most interesting ones are picked up and expanded and transformed by the other players.
    19
  484. Hm. I'm not so sure. I think there's a difference between personal taste (i.e., what "sounds good" or "looks beautiful") and the ability to recognize mastery. The first performance of Stravinsky's "The rite of Spring" (now recognized as a modern masterpiece) ended in a riot of appalled and unsatisfied customers, to give just one example. That said, indifference certainly plays a role in unrecognized mastery, and that indifference is predicated on personal irrelevance. I'm not sure this is "sad," per se. Just a fact of life.
    19
  485. If you leave in a huff, people will be relieved that you're gone. But if you can leave with dignity and grace, people might come to feel the gift of your absence.
    19
  486. In a short responding to a comment to my episode, "What is the sexual marketplace?", I noted in passing that women have more options in the sexual marketplace. I'll explain why this is true in this episode. In short, women today are supported, encouraged, and incentivized to become captains themselves. This means that women have two options available to them when they go down to the docks: they can build a boat or they can enlist as a passenger. Men, however, still only have one real option. The consequences of this situation are far-reaching and will be discussed in future episodes. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com
    19
  487. Those are good points, Doms. Thanks for sharing.
    19
  488. I've heard that argument before, and I used to believe it myself. However, I read a pretty convincing counterargument in "Sex at Dawn." Throughout most of human history, children were raised by tribal communities and monogamous commitments were practically non-existent. In an individual society, a man's commitment to a woman during her vulnerable childbearing period is very important. However, I think monogamy is too recent an invention to make evolutionary arguments here. And, as I'll discuss, romantic love is even more recent than monogamy.
    18
  489. Women understand this. However, they can pretend that they don't as a negotiation tactic when it serves her interests.
    18
  490. Exactly. You've just admitted that the point of these extra steps is to weed out men. There is little-to-nothing that a guy can say in a zoom call that will significantly increase your attraction for him, but there is a lot that he can say that will significantly decrease your attraction. Therefore, it's a suckers' bet from the man's perspective. And that's why the men with options (which, presumably, are the men women would be most interested in talking to) don't take it. If it's a suckers' bet, you end up playing with suckers.
    18
  491. Most people give the best hours of most of the days of the best years of their lives to their jobs, and then content themselves with the crumbs left at their own tables. To reclaim your life, you must reclaim your time, and this ultimately depends on divorcing your time from your income. The first step in this process is developing multiple income streams, and you can start with a side hustle. In this episode, I give practical, actionable advice on how to get started. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com
    18
  492. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. People need things from other people. And the medium through which value is exchanged is a relationship. When the value of the proposed exchange is strictly equal, no transaction occurs -- as this would actually be a net loss for both parties. No transaction, no relationship. This suggests that inequality is the basis of relationship, as it is the unequal exchange of value that motivates transaction. I will explain more in this episode. Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com #dating #relationship #economics
    18
  493. This was a necessity for thousands of years. Mating in one's small village/community would lead to hereditary diseases; so arranging marriages out of that village/community was required from time to time. Often this meant joining a tribe with a different culture/language. If this were not possible, we probably wouldn't have gotten very far as a species.
    18
  494. I'm glad to hear it! Non-reaction "de-weaponizes" insults and attacks, as the attacker actually doesn't know if he is causing harm until we respond in pain or defensiveness. Most people will stop using a tool that doesn't have the intended result.
    18
  495. Just because it's simple doesn't mean it's easy...
    18
  496. Hm. I'm not sure if you can "master" an emotion (so I hope I didn't give that impression) -- though you can "master" (i.e., exercise sufficient discipline around) the thoughts that give rise to that emotion. The idea here is to examine whether whatever you're feeling is arising within the context of a domain of mastery. For instance, a chess grandmaster should be able to trust his emotions implicitly when playing chess because that's his domain of mastery. However, he might not be able to trust his emotions when, say, on a date. Hope that makes sense.
    18
  497. Thanks for the love, Nosmada. Your support is appreciated.
    18
  498. The motivation to lie isn't very complicated. It's born out of the desire to avoid the anticipated consequences of honesty, real or imagined.
    18
  499. If people make the decision not to play with narcissists, their destructiveness is severely restricted.
    18
  500. It's a good question. Let me give it some thought.
    17
  501. Romance is a hard game to win. In fact, it's kinda rigged by design, because the romantic is in love with love. Since a real person will always prove disappointing in comparison, romance ensures you never actually "get" the one you long for -- which would destroy the illusion.
    17
  502. This is an episode for women trying to use online dating apps to enter into relationships with men. Pre-screening is when the woman takes control of the courtship and attempts to further qualify the man after he asks her out on a date. While this is almost certainly done by women out of a desire not to waste their time, my argument is that pre-screening is not a good idea, as it generally does not achieve the women's desired outcome. There are three reasons why this is the case, as I discuss in this episode. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com
    17
  503. I'm sorry to hear that you're having a hard time, Jekkuu. There are days when dominating my mind comes easily and days when it's a constant struggle. It's an unending battle -- but it does get easier. Remember to ask help if you need it. I'm where I am today because of my helpers. Hang in there.
    17
  504. God works in His own time; however, He also seems to help those who help themselves! The dating market is extremely competitive these days. If you want to attract a high-value partner, it's absolutely essential that you cultivate value in yourself, across multiple domains. Just keep in mind that you should cultivate complimentary value. Put yourself in their shoes. What are the people you're attracted to attracted to? Good luck!
    17
  505. In terms of seduction, game works better than having "actual value." Money, status, and the rest don't actually effortlessly translate into confidence with women. The issue with game, however, is that, if it works, you kinda can't ever stop playing -- because that was the basis of the attraction/relationship.
    17
  506. Yes -- the study seems to focus exclusively on revealed attraction (by means of anonymous swiping on a dating app). This is not the same thing as being relationship material. However, to the extent that attraction is a pre-condition of relationship in most cases, it suggests that it might be easier for men and women to enter into relationships at different periods in their lives.
    17
  507.  @zensvlognotapro  To reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
    17
  508. Sounds like you've had a number of important insights, Kitluwi! Thanks for sharing.
    17
  509. I would agree. The dark horse has a reality-based plan and is actively involved in bringing it to fruition.
    17
  510. Well said.
    17
  511. I've been there. However, while overhauling one's entire personality can be a daunting task, it is possible to potentially learn more effective behaviors. Most likely, it's not too late for you.
    17
  512.  @arrowmax6189  The intention here is not to hurt your partner, but to care for yourself. It's like giving your notice at a job that undervalues you, so that you can find an opportunity that works better for you.
    17
  513. Envy is one of the most destructive emotions we are subject to experiencing, and it its invisibility makes it particularly insidious. However, like any other emotion, it can be dismantled by understanding the necessary conditions from which it arises. My working definition of envy is that it is a perceived deficit relative to a self-relevant good relative to a perceived equal. This is somewhat complex, but I break down how this awareness can be used to neutralize the emotion. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com
    17
  514.  @jth_printed_designs  That would be more correct to say, yes. I'll make the change.
    17
  515. I'm aware of some of the unique challenges encountered when dating in the black community: how a lot of social, political, and historical forces have led to a kind of role reversal there. However, black women don't only have to date black men. They can potentially take up the voyage as passengers elsewhere...
    17
  516. I'll be releasing an episode on this topic soon. Stay tuned.
    16
  517. Helping other people is almost never the goal of a capitalistic society. The goal of a capitalistic society is to acquire capital. The neat trick is, that in the process of doing so, people generally have to help others: by providing a service or offering a product that solves a problem. If you have another method of motivating prosocial behavior on a mass scale that doesn't involve the threat of force, I'm all ears.
    16
  518. This works even better with women with options. The lack of pursuit makes you stand out among all her other suitors.
    16
  519. ​ @australiangirl850  This is a common conversational tactic when it comes to discussing men's issues, namely: the rebuttal that women have issues too. My argument here is not that women don't have things about marriage that they dislike, but that those things don't seem to disincentivize them from desiring that commitment, all things considered. This episode is a response to women's complaint that it is hard to find a man who will commit to them. This is not a complaint I hear often from men. The marriage statistic is an example of confusing correlation with causation. Unmarried men might very well die sooner than married men not because they didn't get married, but because they were poor or sickly or socially isolated or otherwise undesirable to women as long-term partners, and those factors considerably shortened their lives. Marriage is absolutely a better deal for women than it is for men.
    16
  520. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. In a scarcity mentality, we lose what we cling to in fear because we believe it to be preferable to the nothingness we assume would take its place. Developing an abundance mentality necessitates that we cultivate greater trust in the universe to provide opportunities to fulfill our needs and desires. In this episode, I discuss an example of scarcity mentality in my own history and how I learned to have faith in abundance. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. To propose a topic for discussion or to schedule a consultation: psychackspodcast@gmail.com Podcast available on Apple, Google, and Spotify. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com #scarcity #abundance #faith
    16
  521. I love a good burger.
    16
  522. I'm not sure I see the "bold fact" here 🤔 Assuming that a man who dates younger women is a pedophile is a little problematic.
    16
  523. Many people have not yet achieved the success they desire because they have not yet been willing to pay the costs of winning. One of these costs is surrendering the privilege of losing. This may sound counterintuitive at first blush -- "privilege" is good, "losing" is bad -- but it turns out that there are many benefits to losing that people are loath to forgo. I discuss a number of these privileges in this episode. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #success #win
    16
  524. You can make that argument. However, it's probably more true (and less inflammatory) to argue that there's a transactional element to all relationships. Selling your time for sex is just a different flavor of "prostitution" than selling your sex for money.
    16
  525. True enough.
    16
  526. There are pros and cons to each. But people often have strong preferences for one or the other.
    16
  527. The kind of happiness I discuss in this video (contentment) is always available to us, as it's an internal turning toward the present moment as enough. So it's possible regardless of your income level. That said, it can be harder to access in poverty, which you might think of as "the advanced course." However, history gives us many great teachers (Jesus, Buddha, Diogenes) who were apparently perfectly content with very little. I've worked with many very successful men in the later years of their lives. Almost to a man, they told me that the happiest days of their lives were when they were young, broke, and free...
    16
  528. It does suggest that! And that is precisely what we saw for generations in arranged marriages. The successful 40 year-old man with 80 camels and 100 acres of orchards and 200 servants was not matched with "a nice, age-appropriate woman." He was matched with a (by our standards, very) young woman. And one of the principles that governed this matching was that of "fair exchange."
    16
  529. It has to be. Otherwise life would just be one open wound.
    16
  530. The cat decides which milk is good. If the experience of love is important to you, men who offer that will constitute a more compelling option for you. However, in my experience, love is not enough to make a relationship work.
    16
  531. Don't worry about it. See "romance is for men."
    16
  532. All the best!
    16
  533. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. This one took me a long time to figure out. You can't have any relationship with anyone. Or, to put it another way, you can't necessarily have the relationship you would like to have with the person you happen to be attracted to. You can only have certain types of relationships with certain types of people. Trying to fit the person to whom you are attracted into the relationship format you prefer is the path of pain. A better idea is to try to fit the relationship to the person. I talk more about how to do this in this episode. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com #dating #relationship #attraction
    16
  534. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Attraction is not a choice. Learn the laws and use them to your advantage. What have you learned from your dating experience? The fundamental law of attraction is very straightforward. In fact, it's so obvious that many people just gloss over it. Are you ready? The fundamental law is: people want what they want, not what wants them. And this comes with a few important corollaries. Most notable among them is the fact that you can't make someone want you more by wanting them more. However, you might be able to make someone want you more by wanting them less. I'll discuss further in this episode. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. To propose a topic for discussion or to schedule a consultation: psychackspodcast@gmail.com Podcast available on Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, and others. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com #attraction #dating #relationships
    16
  535. Thanks for your support, Dhane.
    16
  536. In my experience, anyone who has the temerity to go around advertising that he or she is a "good person" hasn't really done a good deal of introspection.
    16
  537. I also find neuroscience fascinating, Sydney. That said, my "problem" with the field is that I can't affect my neurology directly. I can't just will different associative firings, or want new neuronal pathways. I can only affect it _indirectly_, by changing my behavior and environment. It's a "low tech" solution, but it benefits from being within my domain of control. Thanks for listening.
    15
  538. Every man should read "The tactical guide to women".
    15
  539. It's hard to do, but worth learning.
    15
  540. Think of it like this. Apparently Gisele divorced Tom Brady because she wanted him to spend more time with the family. When he returned to football, she punished him by filing for divorce. If she didn't like him so much, do you think she would mind that he wasn't around?
    15
  541.  @janinegeorgette3708  Try to play to your strengths. No matter what you look like, there will be some men out there who are into it. Give those men an opportunity to find you.
    15
  542. Hm. Just disappearing isn't quite the same thing as giving people the gift of your absence -- especially if the disappearance wasn't preceded by conflict, disrespect, or some reduction in attraction. While this sounds painful, there may have been something else going on.
    15
  543. I love words with two apostrophes. So rarely used.
    15
  544. If you want to avoid some of the major avoidable pitfalls of being alive, then "produce more than you consume" is a good general orientation to life. In this episode, I begin by applying this principle in some obvious domains (i.e., physical health and financial well-being) before moving on to the topic of content consumption and creative production. Many people are now consuming so much content that they no longer know which thoughts are their own -- or even how to think independently. This is not associated with a good life for several reasons. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #lifestyle #growth
    15
  545. Have you read the story? The "ugly duckling" turns into a beautiful swan. That's the prize.
    15
  546. We have to grieve the loss of all the selves we didn't become.
    15
  547. @icequeen555 I gave four reasons why this happens (men are visual creatures; youth is a marker of fertility; men are expressing a preference; women like older men). Non-rhetorical question: how many more would you need?
    15
  548. These are all lovely quotes, but this episode is about respect -- not love. Those are two different things. Like in the Ecclesiastes quote, the basis of respecting the commandments is the fear of divine justice. If God did not have the power to judge, who would obey? Perhaps some would, out of a love of the good. But many others would not. The same is true secularly. Many people respect the laws of society because they fear the consequences of breaking them. This is the basis of social order.
    15
  549. For the same reason you believe yourself to exist: because you have a direct experience of your own consciousness. You weren't always self-conscious, and one day you became that way. What happened? It wasn't evidence or a good argument that tipped the scales. You just sorta "recognized" yourself, and the rest is history.
    15
  550. Given my experience as an actor, I was able to learn a good deal about gay culture and relationships. This allowed me to identify a few things that gay folks do well in their relationships and that straight folks would do well to acknowledge. Foremost among these things is the lack of reliance on assumptive frameworks when creating the structure of a relationship. Since there aren't really any publicly-visible, archetypal models for gay relationships, everything about that relationship must be explicitly negotiated between the individuals involved. This reduces the likelihood of misunderstandings and increases the goodness of fit between the relationship and the constituent parties. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com
    15
  551. Thanks for the support, Mike. It helps me keep going. All the best.
    15
  552. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans at https://stellargre.com. Being the target of malicious gossip can be difficult. I've learned this the hard way. If it happens to you, it's important to not make things more difficult for yourself than they already are. In this episode, I'll discuss three tips to navigate this situation more effectively. They're not easy pills to swallow, but they can help you find some measure of peace in a difficult circumstance. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com
    15
  553.  @immers2410  Just tell your partner that your bored with the relationship. You won't be bored for much longer.
    15
  554. It's true -- but it's important to consider that our vulnerabilities are not always unflattering. People are generally more vulnerable when revealing their positive preferences than their negative ones.
    15
  555. Setting and enforcing boundaries is a skill that you can improve with practice. It's almost always difficult at the beginning -- but it gets easier.
    15
  556. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. This episode discusses one of my most mind-blowing realizations about romance. Most folks -- men and women -- believe that the modern expressions of romance -- flowers and poetry and bent-knee proposals -- are for women. However, this is not actually the case. The truth of the matter is that romance is for men, specifically lower-status men who historically have found it difficult to compete with higher-status men for the most desirable women. As I will discuss, evidence for this perspective is all around us. We need only look clearly. "Two princes": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsdy_rct6uo Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com
    15
  557. Any problem we now have has its origins in the past, but is being maintained in the present moment. You can't change what happened, but you can change how you deal with it.
    15
  558. Only one way to find out! 😅
    14
  559. If someone doesn't realize your value, even in your absence, you're probably best not hearing from them again.
    14
  560. Unpopular opinion, but (ultimately) science "explains" nothing: it merely describes the succession of phenomena at an increasingly granular level. To "understand" in this context is to be cognizant of the correct sequence of steps.
    14
  561. Maybe you're someone who likes to talk on the phone. The only person I speak on the phone with is my dad. And my hunch is that there's probably a gender preference at work here: women prefer to talk on the phone more than men do. This brings up another issue. The best way to interview someone for a job is to evaluate their performance on a job-related task. Talking on the phone is not something a lot of guys do, even in their relationships. So women might not be getting good data (i.e., data on how that man will perform in a relationship) from this task.
    14
  562.  @coconutwater4531  That has nothing to do with either this video or any of my responses here. For the therapy gap, check out "Why men don't go to therapy." A greater percentage of women do attain higher degrees than men, though that doesn't necessarily make them more educated. A greater percentage of women go to therapy than do men, though that doesn't necessarily make them more emotionally intelligent.
    14
  563. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. A common complaint that I hear from women in the dating market is that men don't seem to know what to do with them. They don't take initiative; they don't confidently lead the relationship; they don't know where to "put their hands" (both figuratively and literally). Where have all the real men gone? After giving it some thought, I realized that these issues may have an unlikely culprit: the concept of respect. Respect might mean different things to men than it does to women, and these differences might be impacting the dating game in ways we haven't yet fully appreciated as a culture. In this episode, I will discuss three of these potential differences. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com
    14
  564. That is the experience of many people. I would argue that empathy and understanding, realness and loyalty are still valued, but that there are also strong forces opposed to those values. But if they can survive that opposition, they can be real blessings to others.
    14
  565. Women want the whole package, and they tend to value commitment highly. A "better" man who doesn't offer commitment may not be a better option for a woman, especially past a certain point in her life. "Better" also has to be non-negligible. A slightly better job probably isn't worth putting in your papers and going through the hassle of starting over.
    14
  566. Ignoring someone doesn't necessarily make someone an abuser. However, some forms of abuse can function as "obstacles" in a relationship that actually increase romantic attraction. Thinking "If only he wouldn't get so angry..." or "If only she didn't drink so much..." creates an obstacle in the relationship that prevents the relationship from "really" happening.
    14
  567. You have to be careful with potential. Everyone has it. But not everyone is working to realize it. A dark horse has both a reality-based plan and is actively working toward its realization.
    14
  568. If they are otherwise equal, the invisible will always be more powerful than the visible.
    14
  569. That sounds fairly accurate to me.
    14
  570.  @Chee235  Young women are by no means powerless. They're just incentivized to express that power differently than older men due to social reinforcement contingencies. As just one example, a young woman can "play the victim" much more successfully than an older man. If you want to learn more about how powerful young women can be, I recommend reading "The Crucible," by Arthur Miller.
    14
  571. If that's true, I think that's rather rare. In my experience, most folks are walking around with scars on their hearts and some measure of resentment for those who put them there.
    14
  572. This episode is a continuation of a previous episode, entitled "Women have more options in the sexual marketplace." In that episode, I mentioned how the modern optionality of women down at the docks solves some problems and creates others. This episode will be devoted to examining the biggest problem created by this optionality: the two body problem. What happens when two captains enter into a relationship? The outcome is fairly predictable. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com
    14
  573. I'm hoping that women will benefit from the video as well, Jade. It seems to me that the principles of behavioral economics are fairly universal. Just think of a soccer match. When one side is ahead, it becomes conservative and switches to defense; we say it's their match to lose. When the other is ahead, it becomes aggressive and switches to offense; we say it's their match to win. In the sexual marketplace, the average woman starts out ahead of the average man -- though this tends to shift over the lifespan. Men and women will play both sides over the course of their lives. I'm a big proponent of personal discipline and fulfilling your word. So I don't think this video need be taken as an invitation to betrayal. If you'd like to know my thoughts on commitment, you might want to check out "Create the structure that you can surrender to" and "How to be disciplined." Thanks for watching.
    14
  574. Most people are honest-ish, and they are not going to automatically disqualify themselves from a desired opportunity when the context is clearly pulling for a certain response. It is what it is. Expecting transparent self-disclosure from a total stranger is probably a bad idea. Men who have more options do not necessarily make better partners. A lot of them don't. However, people want what they want. Pre-screening reduces the likelihood that a woman will get what she ostensibly wants (i.e., the man she liked). Yes -- let men take the lead. Socially, men are expected to initiate contact, plan the date, and (generally) pay for the experience. This is taking the lead. Counter-offers nullify the original offer. If a man asks a woman out for a drink, and she counters by proposing a zoom chat instead, then the original offer is now off the table. Leading the date in a new direction suggests that the woman would also assume the other aspects of that position, as well.
    14
  575. Thanks for the feedback. Some of the older episodes were recorded without a microphone. I've since fixed that problem and am re-releasing some of these gems. Stay tuned.
    14
  576. To celebrate Christmas, let's take a closer look at one of Jesus's teachings: the admonition to turn the other cheek. This teaching has been interpreted in many ways over the ages, and I'm going to offer another one. It's one that, I believe, accord very nicely with a nuanced understanding of human psychology. In this episode, I explain how turning the other cheek functionally places aggression on an extinction protocol by divesting aggression of its reinforcement mechanism. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com
    14
  577. Thanks for the support, Rose. I hope you like watching them as much as I enjoy making them.
    14
  578. I'm not sure I believe that certain circumstances and people are fated, while others are not. I think you kinda have to assume that it's all fated, or none of it is. I also think that "fated" relationships are typically characterized by intense (and "inexplicable") attraction, and that the intensity of the feeling is enough to rationalize that they are somehow different from other relationships.
    14
  579. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. The sexual double standard is basically that it is socially acceptable -- or considered a positive -- for men to have multiple sexual partners, but that it is socially unacceptable -- or considered a negative -- for women to have the same. In this video, I'll discuss why I believe this double standard is culturally determined -- but not in the way most people think. Rather than a "mere" belief or attitude, this standard is deeply embedded in the cultural "rules" about who approaches whom and who is valued for what. I'll explain what I mean using the framework of behavioral economics. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available on Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, and others. To schedule a consultation: psychackspodcast@gmail.com Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com #sex #relationships #economics
    14
  580. If only 0.1% of all the people on the planet live near you, then there are 7,000,000 people in your general vicinity. Take away half to account for sexual preference, and you're left with 3,500,000 people. If only 5% of those people met your various criteria (age range, attractiveness, availability, etc.), then we're still talking about 175,000 people. That's a city the size of Ontario, California in your metropolitan area. There are hundreds of thousands of people near you that you can have satisfying relationships with. I don't promote abandoning relationships for the sake of "someone better" for the simple reason that no one would listen to me if I did. People don't leave relationships just because "someone better" might be out there. If they are content with their partner, then the idea of "someone better" is a meaningless abstraction. They leave because there are discontent and/or there are failings in the relationship, and they believe someone better might be out there. Both need to be true. But this is all the romantic variety. Love itself is exceedingly abundant -- though many people are closed off to it. If love were rare, how could we possibly "love our neighbor as we love ourselves?"
    14
  581. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. To be indestructible, you must first understand how you are destructible. From a psychological perspective, you are destructible when you inappropriately identify with external reality. This basically means that you conflate what you have with who you are. This is dangerous, as any threat to a possession with which you are identified will be experienced psychologically as a threat on your essential being. However, if you can identify yourself with your self, then who can have power over you? I'll explain more in this episode. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com
    14
  582. I agree with Travis. The sexual liberation of women sought to decouple women's sexuality from marriage and reproduction -- and it's been incredibly successful. However, one of the major consequences of this cultural shift is that it's dumped a lot of "cheap sex" onto the market. How good must the restaurant be to keep hungry people waiting in line for hours if there are other available options in town?
    14
  583. True -- but your employer might, which was my argument. This is why many high-status professions have exclusivity clauses, to protect their "investments" (i.e., human "resources").
    14
  584. If you don't know what you're looking for, you won't be able to recognize it if it's staring you in the face. Enumerating your relationship criteria is essential.
    14
  585. One of the benefits of growing the channel is that it enables me access to some of my favorite creators. I already have several more exciting discussions planned. Stay tuned.
    14
  586. Exactly. In this case, you've created a sufficiently aversive contingency to motivate the desired behavior. Well done.
    14
  587. Thanks for the praise, lost soul. I hope you'll keep coming back and help spread the message to others.
    13
  588. You can only love another to the extent you love yourself.
    13
  589. There is a paradox that lies at the heart of impostor syndrome. On the one hand, people feel that they are incompetent in their role and that it is only a matter of time before their more competent colleagues catch on. And on the other hand, people also believe that they are competent enough to hide their incompetence from people more competent than they are. This duality is almost humorously non-sensical, and appreciating it can go a long way toward resolving the syndrome. However, just for good measure, in this episode, I also discuss how to overcoming feeling like an impostor with actionable steps. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #work #business
    13
  590. I'm not sure if people should be disrespecting you, Salt Pepper. However, it sounds like you're recognizing a tendency in yourself to break your own word. It's good to acknowledge this, and better to address it. You begin by keeping your word in small things. If you say you'll be there at 9:00 am. Then be there at 9:00 am. If you say you'll finish it by the end of the day. Then finish it by the end of the day. Eventually, you'll reach a point when you can treat your word like a legal contract -- which will make you very cautious about what you choose to say. However, the more you do what you say, the more confidence you will have in yourself -- and the more others will have confidence in you. Get to it.
    13
  591. Thanks for the support!
    13
  592. It's a useful image. You may also consider looking up "loving-kindness meditations," if you're looking for more guided and structured practice.
    13
  593. It has to be. If you want to be liked, be agreeable. If you want to be successful, be effective. Only be virtuous if you want to be virtuous. It's the only thing you can reliably expect from the practice.
    13
  594. There is, indeed! I call it "Bitter medicine." My playlists are a great way to take deeper dives into specific topics.
    13
  595. It's hard to walk away from a relationship in which you've invested years of your life. However, it's also hard to stay in a relationship characterized by enabling and abuse. There's pain either way. In these situations, it's important to choose the path that takes you where you want to go (as opposed to the path that has marginally less pain).
    13
  596. Some of my biggest periods of self-improvement came in the wake of major heartbreaks.
    13
  597.  @juliataylor2578  Mystery is attractive. So is humor ("I'll tell you after I accept your offer"). Just remember that the ability to ask a question does not entitle someone to an answer.
    13
  598. It has changed the game for men and women -- and not always for the better (and in different ways).
    13
  599. Yeah, this idea kinda slaughters a golden calf about relationships. But what I'm saying isn't really any different from any other comparison you can make between two people in relationships: no two will have exactly the same passion for football, or desire to have children, or interest in sex. And some of these inequalities will have important consequences for the relationship -- whether we want them to or not. The presence of inequalities is kind of an inescapable aspect of reality; however, that doesn't mean that one person is better than another as a result of that inequality, which is the principle of Equality. I'm all for Equality. As I mention in the video, the two positions are actually value-neutral.
    13
  600. Thanks for your support, Amber. You make this happen.
    13
  601. Thanks for the love, man. I really appreciate it. All the best
    13
  602. It might hurt in the beginning, but eventually this understanding will help you have happy and supportive relationships in the future.
    13
  603. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. I often hear women on the dating market speak of their difficulties in finding a man interested in a committed, long-term relationship. In this episode, I will explain why that might be the case. To the extent that the purpose of dating is to enter into such a relationship, modern dating doesn't work. And that is because the privileges given to and the responsibilities expected of men are not allocated properly over the course of a relationship to incentivize his commitment. Until this is addressed, women will be fighting an uphill battle. "Men want to be alone": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9blas1Xtoc Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com
    13
  604. Life is bittersweet.
    13
  605. Oh yes, shadow work is very interesting. I should do any episode about that...
    13
  606. That's right. The only alternative is to enter into games of control...
    13
  607. Grief is the gift that no one wants...
    13
  608. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. The balance of attraction is a concept I developed to help explain certain emotional dynamics in romantic relationships. It's based on a fundamental axiom, which is: no two people can like each other exactly the same amount. One of the most important corollaries of this axiom is that, in any relationship, one person will like the other more and one person will like the other less. Who occupies which position can change from day-to-day, or even moment-to-moment, but most relationships are characterized by a fairly stable attraction imbalance. I'll talk more about this in this episode. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available on Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, and others. To schedule a consultation: psychackspodcast@gmail.com Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com #attraction #relationships #love
    13
  609. Oh I'm full of games from my old theatre days. I'm sure I'll talk about more in the course of things. Thanks for listening, Kacper.
    13
  610. I've had a similar experience, and it took me a long time to recover. However, I think I'm wiser for the experience. If you haven't done so already, you might want to check out my episodes "A good craftsman has one scar" and "Redeeming the suffering of your past."
    13
  611. Overcoming the fear of commitment is a tough one. I think the way to do it is to practice making smaller commitments first. Sometimes we think that commitments will only deprive us of our freedom. And, while that is certainly true, commitments also create opportunities to do things we might not have otherwise been able to do. So the fuller picture is that commitment closes some doors and opens others. Hope that helps.
    13
  612. In the traditional Romantic arrangement, both the adored and her husband generally knew that she was a particular knight's (or knights') object of affection. She would often receive letters and gifts from the adorer, who would dedicate his exploits to her. And sometimes, in return for his pains, the knight could even hope to receive a small token (like a lock of hair) from his lady fair.
    13
  613. It depends. When a man doesn't believe in romance himself, and uses it on women as a means to an end, then he is a seducer. While this may be Machiavellian, it probably isn't solipsistic -- as the man probably doesn't really want to be alone in the universe with his target. However, many men actually believe in romance, and approach women from this perspective sincerely. This isn't really seductive, but it is solipsistic in its intent.
    12
  614. You're not wrong. A woman with little to offer can be a major liability for a man who has lots to lose. And yet, men get into these relationships every day. Why? Because their selection criteria (for better or worse) significantly differ from those of women.
    12
  615. An employee with 20 offers is still looking for a job. By this very process, she admits that she can't give herself what she wants. On the other hand, a company in high demand receives thousands of applicants. One job makes more of a difference in the life of one employee than one employee makes for the life of one job.
    12
  616. It's important to put on your own mask before helping others.
    12
  617. Never a good idea to complain in a relationship. Because who chose your partner? Complaining about him or her only advertises your poor judgment. Either find a way to live happily within the relationship or move on. Sounds like you did the latter. 😅
    12
  618. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Popular culture has trained people to associate evil with darkness. However, evil rarely presents itself as something hideous, twisted, and dark, and darkness is actually an aspect of divine nature. This conceptualization throws people off track, and leaves them vulnerable to the ensnarements of the negative force. In this episode, I will discuss how this misunderstanding likely came to pass, and how to keep yourself safe through more accurate discernment. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com #spirituality #spiritual #evil
    12
  619. Thanks for the love, Sisi. I definitely intend to put out more content. So keep coming back and help spread the message.
    12
  620. Good advice -- but easier said than done for many.
    12
  621. Anything else is a form of madness, as it necessarily involves either denying or distorting reality to some degree. You might be interested in my episode "'Have to' versus 'choose to.'"
    12
  622. ​ @Chimalmita1  Throughout most of human history, a man did not have a woman that was "his" and paternity was very uncertain. Men were likely committed to women and children to the extent that they represented continuation of the tribe, because survival of the tribe was the best bet for the survival of the individuals within it. A capable man who failed to provide risked exile and death. That said, if the evolutionary argument that women's value is fundamentally linked to her reproductive capabilities were the whole story, then we should expect the relative value of women to have declined in recent years, as modern women spend an increasingly smaller proportion of their lives in childbed. Sounds like you already know about the origin of Romance! I'll be publishing an episode on the topic tomorrow...
    12
  623. Easy. Disregard the first statement.
    12
  624. I think that's how it used to be here as well: the man being dragged off to the altar. The idea is at least as old as the 16th Century. Shakespeare's "All's well that ends well" is five acts of this theme...
    12
  625. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Much has been said of late on men's attraction to younger women, and much of this has been said before. Men are visual creatures; men are expressing a preference; men are using beauty as a signal for fertility, etc. You already know these reasons, so this episode does not discuss them. This episode discusses another reason men are attracted to younger women: a reason so obvious that it almost never gets talked about (though it's staring us all in the face). Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com
    12
  626. Well that's a problem. If your ex were to come back and find you in the same place you were two years ago, that would hardly stimulate attraction. If anything, it might confirm that their initial decision to leave was justified. Move forward with you life and invest in yourself. It's not easy, but you'll either re-attract your ex or find someone who is better for you.
    12
  627. One of the surest ways to get someone's attention is to withdraw your own.
    12
  628. It depends on your situation, Maria. If you're a guy with little or inconsistent access to sex, or a woman who wants to start a family before her time runs out, you might be motivated to do a great deal. If you want something bad enough, you start to get strategic about getting it. Waiting for the unexpected in love is kinda like trying to get rich by winning the lottery.
    12
  629. The best defense against envy at the competence of others is the cultivation of competence in yourself.
    12
  630. Everyone is a good sailor when the seas are calm.
    12
  631. I love this attitude.
    12
  632. Have you ever bought a car? If so, you had to do business with someone with whom your fundamental interests were misaligned. How did you go about doing this? Even if that car checked every one of your boxes, I doubt that you pursued the sale with unabashed enthusiasm, as this would be a stupid strategy. Dating isn't much different. The best way to negotiate a good deal for yourself is to approach the discussion from a place of indifference. I'll discuss more in this episode. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com
    12
  633. Swapping the genders in dating advice generally doesn't work. Women and men prioritize different things in the selection process and typically respond to different attraction cues. We kinda know this is true because the idea that women will marry an ugly (or old) man for his money is a well-established trope, but there are very few examples of men marrying an ugly (or old) woman for the same.
    12
  634. Equating neutral attributes like age or height to superiority and inferiority is not based in reality. Many old people are dotting fools. Alexander the Great was five feet tall. Examine your beliefs.
    12
  635. Self-respect is essential. Behave in such a way that you can live at peace with yourself. Thanks for watching.
    12
  636. This video is more about mate selection than attraction ("falling in love"). And it's important to distinguish between the two, as they typically have different sets of satisfaction criteria. It may also be useful to point out that all the attributes you listed (while certainly positive) don't necessarily have to do with connection. For instance, it's possible that another brilliant, sexy, funny musician wouldn't have made you feel the same way. It also sounds like you're no longer in a relationship with this person. If this is true, there are a host of reasons why this could be the case; however, it's important to note that what attracts isn't necessarily what sustains.
    12
  637. Setting up an antagonism between autonomy and independence, on the one hand, and love and commitment, on the other, is actually the problem. The opposite of love is not independence; and the opposite of commitment is not autonomy. And yes -- the best relationships are those in which two people are doing whatever they want. This is because, among other things, these are relationships predicated on trust, tolerance, and acceptance. Fit the relationship to the person; not the person to the relationship. You can have effortless relationships if you choose people whose behavior (in their freest possible states) you feel no need to change or control.
    12
  638. Good women definitely exist. That said, it's probably not a great idea to unconditionally trust anyone. Let people earn your trust (and mistrust), and learn what you can and cannot reasonably entrust to specific individuals.
    12
  639. I think a lot of what you're described would be better understood as "courtesy," which has certainly taken a decline in the last 100 years. However, in addition to the issues around respect I enumerated in the episode, there is also a very real fear in young men these days as pertains to disrespecting women. Not standing when a woman entered the room a hundred years ago might have been looked down upon in men, but it wouldn't cause a man to be cancelled. Many young men "err on the side of caution" (or simply avoid women, more or less, altogether) due to this issue. However, your point is taken. The issue of "where the real men have gone" is multidetermined, and can't be reduced to a single cause. I just wanted to highlight an influence that is underappreciated.
    12
  640. I'm glad you liked it, Mignon. If you haven't done so already, you may want to check out "The fear of disappointment."
    12
  641. You might want to read my forthcoming book.
    12
  642. Carl Rogers, the humanistic psychotherapist, argued that people have an innate instinct to grow and thrive. His job was simply to work to remove the obstructions that prevented that natural process.
    12
  643. Yeah -- in my experience no one likes this trick. However, I used it myself in grad school and ended up writing my dissertation in three months, and several clients I've worked with have used to it overcome lifelong habits of procrastination. I really works! Thanks for watching.
    12
  644. What you describe is how folks tend to think the world "should" work, and may be most applicable for self-determined (or entrepreneurial) efforts. However, it only takes a modicum of real world experience to learn that there is no simple and objective correlation between effort in and result out. People are not always rewarded for their efforts, and (when they are) that reward is not equally consequent to their efforts. That is, some aspects of their effort produced more of the reward than others. My metaphor helps people to identify those aspects of their effort that are actually producing the reward.
    12
  645. I don't think loneliness is quite the same thing as the experience of inner emptiness. If this experience were cured by a relationship, then we would likely see much less infidelity (for instance) in the world.
    12
  646. Sounds like you're having a tough time, RH. When I've been beset by problems, I've found it useful to limit my focus and work aggressively toward a single goal. And, in choosing a first goal, I would pick one that is primarily within my domain of control and associated with a reasonable likelihood of success. The "good news" is that when things are bad, they are less likely to get worse than better as a consequence of applying consistent effort. Hang in there!
    12
  647.  @arrowmax6189  To be honest, I'm not hearing a lot of that in her comment. And you yourself admit that (in at least some cases) walking away from a partner is justified. So the advice seems to hold true. Where people tend to disagree is where exactly to draw the line. However, I think the best we can do is to allow each person to draw that line for himself or herself. I think you can make a case that love is sacred and unconditional. But relationships aren't. Sometimes it's necessary to love people from a distance.
    12
  648. There are many ways to show yourself to others. This could mean sharing the stories of your past or your dreams for the future. It can mean disclosing what you like and love, or what you dislike and hate. And it can also means sharing your thoughts and feelings about what's happening to you in the present moment.
    12
  649. I hope to do some more episodes on this topic in the coming weeks. Stay tuned
    12
  650.  @saltpepper7525  That happens in a lot of marriages: sex is replaced by love. Or, at least, a kind of love.
    12
  651. They're all around. The world is full of people to have relationships with.
    12
  652. I'm glad it was helpful to you. :)
    12
  653. Yep -- we're different people with different people. And that's part of what makes relationships fun! I'm glad you're enjoying the channel. :)
    11
  654. Absolutely. Satisfying relationships require accurate self-knowledge.
    11
  655. I think there's some truth to that. From a psychological perspective, I would say that the "lesson" is an attempt to consciously reframe or re-narrate the story of the relationship as a net positive.
    11
  656. Hate to break it to you, but the majority of marriages end in divorce. Our life-long commitments are just as at-will as part-time jobs. People need things from other people, and the medium through which value is exchanged is a relationship. You can call some value "superficial" and other value "spiritual," but it's value nonetheless. If the value ceases, so does the relationship -- so transactional is probably the correct term. Much of what makes a relationship functional and effortless is impersonal. People get into trouble when they expect too much in any domain.
    11
  657. Hi, Dalton. Thanks for the support and the question. In my experience, there is often a strong connection between how we treat others and how we treat ourselves. There are certain technical reasons for this (check out "Theory of mind," if you haven't already), but one of the best ways of influencing the one is changing the other. And this is useful, as one generally is "harder to reach" to than the other. There may be other elements in play, though. I used to be much sharper with other people. And I rationalized this tone by insisting that I was just telling people the truth, and doing them a favor at that. I developed a part of my identity as "fearless truth-teller." However, most of the time, I was just pointing out problems, which doesn't take a good deal of intelligence or perceptivity (check out "Look for solutions," if you haven't already). Hope this helps.
    11
  658. If you understand how to use it, online dating can be an incredibly useful tool. If you don't, it will leave you frustrated, jaded, and pessimistic.
    11
  659. Check out the full interview with Chazz Ellis: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mg6ZT0gce1U In this clip from our long-form discussion, Chazz and I discuss the essence of game. At its fundamental level, game is the ability to cultivate an emotional experience in another person. Chazz speaks on a number of strategies for accomplishing this goal, including some that he learned from his father, a master salesman. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every memebership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #game
    11
  660. It's true -- intelligence generally correlates with income. However, what the results of this study may indicate is that women might value intelligence primarily as a means to an end. If that end has already been secured (either through intelligence or industriousness or inheritance or some other means), they may be more willing to dispense with it.
    11
  661. That might be true, but 99.9% of actors, musicians, and influencers never achieve any real kind of fame. However, that doesn't stop the industry from dangling recognition as a carrot on a stick to reap the real rewards of their talents. This is how several industries exploit an entire generation.
    11
  662. Well, it probably means that the man is young. Older men typically aren't attracted to even older women. I hope to do an episode on this soon.
    11
  663. Right on, Allen. Keep moving forward.
    11
  664. I'm glad to hear it, man. Keep fighting the good fight.
    11
  665. Thanks for the kind words, Ken. I'm honored
    11
  666. It's a tough one, but I think it's true. The highest performers in any field are always specialists, never generalists.
    11
  667. That's a good one. Jim Rohn. One of the originals.
    11
  668. Great stuff, Chris. Sounds like you've learned a lot this year. Keep up the good work.
    11
  669.  @ClassicMan33  She's free to stay if she refrains from disrespecting other members of the community...
    11
  670. I think so. At least at the beginning. But it doesn't have to be that way forever.
    11
  671. "A good craftsman has one scar."
    11
  672.  @reneedavis7248  Your belief is not required. Male and female preference is well-established empirically. Here's a link to an article summarizing the results of a recent study that concluded, among other things, that women are most attractive to men at 18, while men are most attractive to women at 50 (https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2018/08/online-dating-out-of-your-league/567083/l). I hope to do an episode unpacking the research soon.
    11
  673. It might be helpful to reframe the experience. If you give something your all, and it still wasn't enough, you should be able to walk away without any attachments or regrets. Holding back is what binds us to the lost object.
    11
  674. Actually, you don't. Turns out you don't even have to answer questions in court, let alone when a woman asks them.
    11
  675. I don't know about that, but thank you for your support, Angel.
    11
  676. It's a useful thought experiment, though a difficult one. The bittersweetness of life comes from the fact that everything that can be taken from us, will be taken from us. I'm not totally detached, no. And I often find that I'm attached to things that I didn't even realize I was attached to. But I do try to move more and more in that direction. I hope to put out a video on how to love without attachment soon.
    11
  677. The single best predictor of whether a person will benefit from psychotherapy is how miserable the person is when he first presents for treatment. And on some level, this makes sense. While life can always get worse, if you're going through a particularly difficult moment, it's actually more likely to improve if you make a change. This is called regression toward the mean. However, it works the other way as well. In this episode, I discuss the trap of a B- life. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com
    11
  678. Thanks for sharing, oceans. All the best to you.
    11
  679. Make a plan and work until you achieve your goals. Repeat.
    11
  680.  @Ash-so2sr  I'm not a fan myself. My main bone to pick is that romanticism tends to give people a grossly distorted view of what a relationship "should" look like: one that is predominated by the feeling that exists within it. When people make emotional decisions about who to spend their lives with, it can lead to some very unpleasant circumstances further down the road. Thanks for watching.
    11
  681. It's more difficult to make close friends as you get older. The surest way of doing so is to undergo some trial together.
    11
  682. Most people hurt through incompetence; however, there are some actively malevolent people in the world. Though it doesn't excuse their actions, these folks are often in intense pain themselves or can only see the world through an irredeemably distorted lens. It's pitiable -- though the damage these people cause can make it difficult to feel compassion for them.
    11
  683. Analogously you could argue that universities own the grades and employers own the money prior to giving them away, so they are entitled to set the rules as they wish.
    11
  684. That sounds right to me. What is given and what is received depends on both the individuals involved and the relational dynamic that exists between them. And what this is can also change with time, as the receivers mature and come to value different aspects of the relationship that might have been invisible to them before.
    11
  685. Women make rules for betas and break them for alphas.
    11
  686. Most women would rather share a Porsche than own a Honda.
    11
  687. Hm. That's a tricky one. It's a little subtle, but I would ask you to consider that hope and gratitude are independent constructs. At a certain point, and for your own well-being, you may decide to kill the hope inside of you (at least, with respect to this relationship) with the understanding that this needn't impact your gratitude for what was. Killing the hope is an emotional survival strategy, and it's not for anyone else to decide to implement but you. That said, its goal is to sever an emotional tether to the past, so that new connections can be formed in the present and future.
    10
  688. In this study, we just know that the women were attractive. No data were collected on their education, success, or emotional stability. That said, it's almost certain that not all of these attractive women were also highly educated, successful, and emotionally stable. This suggests that their expressed preferences are not merely a "desire for an equal," and that physically attractiveness is so prized that these women believed (potentially accurately) that it alone could command such a high price tag in commensurate value.
    10
  689. I appreciate your support, Linda. I'm glad you're finding value in the channel.
    10
  690. You can hide your attitude toward yourself or others for while through conscious self-control. However, in the long run, no one can keep that up indefinitely. Eventually your thoughts will be betrayed through your non-verbal communication, which includes (among other things) body language. Thanks for watching.
    10
  691. How many millions of people have tortured themselves and others by refusing to enforce boundaries with family members, simply because they are family members? Family gets a lot of chances, but even they are subject to limits.
    10
  692. Thanks, Jeannie. You made my day. It's feedback like this that makes the effort worthwhile. All the best.
    10
  693.  @australiangirl850  The two body problem is a problem because it's difficult for people to give up what they've built. So they will generally only do so for a better option (which is rational). If a high-earning woman does find a better option, she will generally choose to get married. Whether she succeeds in finding a better option is another thing entirely. My point here is that the risk associated with marriage does not apply equally to men and women.
    10
  694. It's hard to tease apart the cultural and the biological on these issues, but there does seem to be some truth to the observation that there are biological differences in the emotional bonding process.
    10
  695. Thanks, Katharina. It hasn't always been easy, but I'm optimistic for the future.
    10
  696. If you can't be it, it can be useful to seem it. And, of course, we should also develop our discernment to be able to tell the difference between being and seeming.
    10
  697. Unpopular opinion, but it's not actually possible for someone else to waste your time. I hope to make an episode on this soon.
    10
  698. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Have you ever noticed that the people you're really interested in never seem to reciprocate your feelings? On the other hand, have you ever noticed that the people you can kinda take or leave seem to really want to have a relationship with you? Isn't that just the ironic tragedy of dating? However, it doesn't have to be this way. Almost certainly, you are making a fundamental mistake when it comes to how you are treating the people you are attracted to. I'll explain more in this episode. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com
    10
  699. I assume you don't mean "men in general," right? You want to know how to attract the men that you're attracted to?
    10
  700. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. This episode builds on the conclusions of my previous episode, "Women want it all." Today I'll be tackling the age-old complaint of all also-rans: nice guys finish last. The flip side of this is the analogous complaint that women love jerks. However, it only looks like women choose jerks from the perspective of nice guys. The fact of the matter is that this isn't entirely true, and I'll explain why using the results of psychological research. And since men typically understand business better than they understand women, I'll use a professional framework to illustrate my points. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com
    10
  701. I would argue that limerence doesn't morph into unrealistic fantasy -- because it is unrealistic fantasy right from the start. And that's what makes it appealing to so many people: it's an escape from the banalities of everyday life. When you're in love, colors are brighter, music is more meaningful, and life just seems more...alive. Our songs, movies, and stories generally depict limerence as a positive. So I would argue that it's culturally desirable. And many often seek out passion -- another religious term, which originally meant "suffering" -- in their romantic relationships. When it cools, such people might confess they may no longer "feel the same way" and move on to another partner. They are chasing a feeling.
    10
  702. The first and third points aren't true; and, if you assume it has to be the man's time and money, the second isn't either. However, let's assume for a moment that all three points are valid. This list begins to read like the job description for a position you'd never want. No upsides. Only rules, restrictions, and authoritarianism. It's a tough sell -- which was the core message of my video.
    10
  703. If you read that far, you can read a little further to answer your own question. The women were rated by the men on a few different dimensions of physical attractiveness. The survey was given to the women who were rated most highly.
    10
  704. That's the gist of it. I'm glad you're finding value in the channel.
    10
  705. Glad you found it helpful, Jill. It's like Yoda said: "do or do not. There is no try." Thanks for watching!
    10
  706. That's exactly right. If you "give good love," then people will notice its absence. Unfortunately, many people choose to stay in relationships despite feeling undervalued, act from the place of that emotion (aggression, passive-aggression, withholding, spite, etc.), and then leave after some time. But there is generally only relief when that emotion is absent. It's hard to regain respect, or attraction. Sometimes this could mean a temporary separation, so there can be a space for the old, unattractive idea of you to fade. It can also mean getting really involved in a new project of self-development (going to the gym, getting your masters, starting a business). And, of course, it means stopping the insecure and unattractive behavior that was the problem to begin with. Maybe I'll do a video on this some day.
    10
  707. I agree, Linda. If we have to play, we might as well learn the game.
    10
  708. I suppose anything that involves escaping a punishment through constructive action would work. The key is to find the punishment that is commensurate with the "violation," and sufficiently aversive to the individual in question.
    10
  709. And yet I don't know a single psychiatrist who doesn't prescribe medication.
    10
  710. I'm definitely not advocating that people "fake" gratitude, but I do think gratitude can be authentically cultivated through intentional practice. Reminding yourself of the negative qualities and characteristics of your ex can be a helpful strategy in the short-term, especially in the early stages of a breakup when it can feel difficult to emotionally detach. However, I've found that relying on that strategy exclusively can foster bitterness and resentment in the long-term.
    10
  711. Of course. As Napoleon said, "never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."
    10
  712. There's some truth to that. It's easy to take a comfortable and secure relationship for granted. A way to proactively prevent that from happening is to work smaller "absences" into your routine. For instance: don't text throughout the day. That way, you'll actually have something to talk about when you see each other.
    10
  713. True. Unlike Spring, we never know when the better times will come. But I think the better part of hope is understanding that -- no matter how cold and dark it becomes -- one day, some day, the light will return.
    10
  714.  @annie8742  I'm not sure I understand the anecdote, but men often lie on dating apps to get around women's filters (especially with respect to height).
    10
  715. My arguments are always easier to refute when they're changed.
    10
  716. Women aren't hiring. Don't expect employees to act like employers.
    10
  717. Family roles become pronounced in addicted and personality-disordered households. Because of the severity of the issue, people often twist themselves into all kinds of shapes in order to maintain even a tenuous peace. The work is to untwist yourself after you leave.
    10
  718. We're not going to go back to "the way things were" anytime soon. So the best way to incentivize men to commit is to learn what a specific man wants and/or doesn't want, and show how there will be more of what he wants and/or less of what he doesn't on the other side of commitment. He will then see commitment as being in his rational best interest. Just remember: the cat decides what milk is good.
    10
  719. Follow Alex on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@alexleonlife/ Follow Alex on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexovertheocean/ I was excited to be able to sit down with Alex Leon recently. I've personally followed Alex -- and the other coaches @TheNaturalLifestyles -- for years. They give men solid, actionable advice on pick-up and seduction without the sleaze. In this long-form discussion, Alex and I discuss the process of building an emotional connection, the use of non-verbal cues to communicate intent, and the state of pick up in the modern age. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #attraction
    10
  720.  @Firiel19  It's good to question things. However, in this case, you probably already know the answer. As with any problem, the issue of finding a partner can only really be solved in three ways: either working harder/working better (which may include moving to a place where you have access to a higher quality dating pool, increasing attraction/attractiveness, etc.), changing your selection criteria/satisfaction threshold, or surrendering the desire entirely. The point of my video is that you don't actually need to find that "special someone." Anyone you find will become special, as a consequence of the time, energy, and attention you devote to them. On some level, it can't not happen.
    10
  721. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. The younger man/older woman dynamic actually has a lot to speak for itself. Among other things, it generally occurs between two gendered classes that are roughly equivalent with respect to their normalized sexual marketplace values. What's more, both parties generally understand that the relationship is fairly short-term, making it one of the most sexually-charged matchups possible. Why this isn't done more often is beyond me. I discuss more in this episode. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com
    10
  722. That is an excellent question! You might want to check out my episode called "The nature of identity" for a more in-depth discussion.
    10
  723. I think there are many "right" decisions for us. The idea that there is only one ("the" right choice) puts an undue amount of pressure on the decision-making process. Many paths will work well, and we can always course correct if they don't.
    10
  724. Dating apps and social media provide an unprecedented opportunity for women to receive validation from men, and this can sometimes distort their self-appraisal. However, few of these women want to date their "fans."
    10
  725.  @1nilu1  I've known several narcissists in my time, and you're absolutely correct. That said, while narcissists will generally show a good deal of indifference, not everyone who shows indifference is necessarily a narcissist.
    10
  726. In the popular imagination, every emotional wound can be healed with sufficient time and adequate treatment. However, this is not true. Not everyone can be saved, and therapy doesn't always work. What's more, when it does work, it often creates a kind of scar, which (like its physical analogue) lacks the suppleness and sensitivity of the original material. We all must grieve what doesn't return through healing. That said, there is usually enough left over for us to keep moving forward. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com
    10
  727. An "ultimate goal" is something that is self-transcendent. That means it matters to the person more than his own immediate self-interests. So, generally, an ultimate goal isn't found in business or career -- but it could be a passion or a calling. There are many examples of such goals in history, like the civil rights movements of King or Gandhi. However, these goals can also be enacted on a smaller scale by "ordinary" people, by serving your community or helping others in some capacity.
    10
  728. It's important to appreciate that risk is inescapable. Attempting to avoid risk is itself risky and can carry with it a host of liabilities and opportunity costs. Accepting the inevitability of risk allows people to make informed, reality-based decisions. If you haven't already, you may want to check out my episode "What if?" to hear more.
    10
  729. Or even for people who are generally confident and find themselves in an anxiety-provoking situation. I use it myself 😅
    10
  730. Why do companies offer severance? Because it reduces the number of lawsuits post termination (which would be even more expensive). The lesson is that if you're really done with something, treat it well. It's cheaper in the long-run.
    10
  731. I'm not sure what this means...
    10
  732. ​@Aligned We might have to agree to disagree. We can't know for sure, but I doubt most of the women involved with King Solomon saw him as "toxic," and there's no indication that these women were merely "trophies." That might be an ideological lens through which you are viewing historical data. Interestingly, while we do live in an age when a "Queen" Solomon might be possible, we don't see a comparable situation with the genders reversed, suggesting that some legitimate differences might be at play. Research indicates that modern women see stability, safety, and the provision of materialistic resources as attractive and desirable traits in a man (see: "Women want it all"). I also talk about modern women's ability to "captain her own ship" in "Women have more options in the sexual marketplace" (though this can lead to a tricky situation further down the road; see "The two body problem").
    10
  733. Well said. Thank you for sharing.
    10
  734. Thanks for watching, Lisa!
    9
  735. I'm glad to hear it, Carmel. Hang in there.
    9
  736. That's a long story, but the short version is basically that monogamy seems to have arisen around the time of the agricultural revolution. With permanent settlements came the advent of concentrated social power and individual private property. The dominant theory maintains that monogamy was established to ensure paternity in order to safeguard the intergenerational transfer of wealth and power along bloodlines. In any case, we know that neither monogamy nor marriage was originally religious. For instance, the Catholic Church did not make marriage a sacrament until the 13th Century. And Romantic love -- being a secularized Pagan doctrine in opposition to the Church -- was against it. I have my own theories, but that's kind of the established thinking on the matter.
    9
  737. I think hook-ups aren't for everyone. However, I also believe that normalizing primarily sexual relationships as potentially useful and beneficial in their own right (as opposed to considering them "less than" a real relationship) would do a lot of good for a lot of folks.
    9
  738. This is true: nothing hurts more than our own words in someone else's mouth. I think it's an important topic.
    9
  739.  @cleopatrajones7096  Anything with rules and a goal is a game. So 'game' doesn't have to be a pejorative term. When we stop playing, we stop living -- because life itself is a sort of play. You might even consider authenticity as a strategy (conscious or not) to enter into another level of play. But the game continues...
    9
  740. Despite the fact that the majority of American marriages are sexless (defined as a frequency of sex less than once a month), modern marriages are likely more sexual than traditional marriages. This is because the idea of a "love marriage" is fairly recent. Throughout most of history, marriage was a kind of business transaction in which a man and a woman come together for the purpose of starting a family. While this is still the case, we've added the expectation that we should feel regular sexual desire for the spouse. This was never the case traditionally, and love affairs were always just that: affairs. So, despite how dire things seem to be, they're likely an improvement over what they used to be, at least in terms of frequency of sexual contact.
    9
  741. "Up" was a lovely movie. However, since it was a family movie, we can only guess as to whether Carl and Ellie had a passionate sex life. They certainly had the other two.
    9
  742. Sounds like a good hack!
    9
  743. Haha Sorry about that, Godfrey. This is an older video from before I changed my outro. I still want to know what you think. 😅
    9
  744. Well, falling in love and loving are not the same thing. And love is not enough to make a relationship work. However, if the feeling of love (or of actually loving) another is one of things you value, and you don't feel that way with most of the men you date, then that's a privilege that you enjoy within that relationship. This means that it will also come with certain duties and/or the exchange of commensurate value to the man who was able to provide you with that experience.
    9
  745.  @goa93  I have a slightly different view. People need things from other people, and the medium through which the exchange of value occurs is a relationship. Where there is not sufficient value, no relationship occurs or the relationship ends. This is no different in a "fun and exciting" relationship as it is in a "loving" relationship. What changes is the conception of what value is. For instance, to you, it seems as though "making the person I love happy" is of high value to you. If for some reason, you were no longer able to do that, the relationship would likely become painful and insufferable -- though "loving" would dictate that you continue to suffer "nobly" for an ideal that is no longer present.
    9
  746. I can understand why that would hurt you. That said, given what you've told me, your best move might be to keep moving forward as if it didn't. If your son is being deceived by others, then acting hurt or resentful might (unfortunately) confirm his beliefs. Attend to yourself and trust the truth will be revealed in time. All the best.
    9
  747.  @asheekitty9488  Certainly. It's very common for a bored partner to pick a fight in order to generate some drama/excitement in the relationship. "Sometimes we fight, just so we can make up."
    9
  748. Both the positions are gender neutral. In a given relationship, a man (or a woman) can be the adored or the adorer. Obviously, divorce is a complex issue. But it is true that (in the US, at least) women tend to file for divorce significantly more often than men do. It's also my experience that, while adorers can leave relationships, they do so less frequently than the adored (and usually only when there are significant problems). The phenomena of woman-instigated divorce might be explained (at least in part) by a mismatch in the balance of attraction.
    9
  749. Today I'll be speaking of the myth of completion: what it is and where it comes from. I argue that belief in the idea of completion is something of a perceptual artifact, an unintended consequence of a certain point of view. From the perspective of an observer, things end; however, from the perspective of a creator, nothing ever ends. There is just the decision to move on. The repercussions for relationships are also discussed. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com
    9
  750. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Many folks believe cannabis to be a relatively harmless drug: it's next to impossible to overdose on it, and it doesn't seem to create physiological dependence. It's not a "hard" drug, like some of the other "bad" ones. However, weed is much more dangerous than most people think. Among other things, it tricks people into thinking that they're using their time well, and it keeps people comfortable in situations they have no business being comfortable in. I discuss more in this episode. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #growth #recovery
    9
  751. It can be hard to watch someone you care about make the same mistake over and over again. However, hitting bottom only occurs when someone decides to stop digging.
    9
  752. Attraction (and attractiveness) is a form of power. In any negotiated relationship, the general rule of thumb is that the one who needs/wants the other less has more power. However, it's important to keep in mind that the position of the adorer is not inherently less powerful than the position of the adored. Think of a femme fatale who can wrap men around her little finger with the sweetness and seductiveness of her attention. A man in this situation -- though ostensibly the adored -- might find he has much less power in this relationship than his position suggests.
    9
  753. That's a question that's probably too big to answer in a comment. So perhaps I'll make a follow up video on the subject. However, a good rule of thumb is, in any relationship, the one who needs the other less has more power. So, if you're having difficulties with your family, a good first move (if you haven't done so already) is to make yourself as self-sufficient and independent as possible. If you don't "need" your family for anything (i.e., money, love, support), then it becomes more of an "at will" relationship, in which it becomes easier to assert and maintain appropriate boundaries.
    9
  754.  @KatharinaKaschka  I think this example proved my point? 🤔 While it's conceivable that a man to whom a woman is only somewhat attracted to might be able to increase her attraction on a phone call if he's, say, good at phone banter (which most guys are not), the reality is as described in your anecdote: it generally serves to lower attraction. From the man's perspective: there is little upside, and a lot of downside. So you're generally gonna talk to guys who don't feel like they have a lot to lose.
    9
  755. Thanks for watching, Kevin!
    9
  756. Yes -- I'm a perfectionist in recovery. So I understand how much of a trap it is.
    9
  757. It's a well-documented phenomenon called hypergamy. And yes -- most women fare better in the adorer role.
    9
  758. Thanks for sharing, Shahad!
    9
  759.  @LonjeMarie7  That's generally been my experience, as well.
    9
  760. I'm glad you're enjoying the channel, Patricia. Meditation can certainly be a useful tool. The deeper we situate ourselves in the seat of our being, the harder it is to move us from our center.
    9
  761. It was a dream of mine for a while. But now I have another mission in life.
    9
  762. Love can't be bought. So why not give it away for free? If you want a paycheck, get a relationship.
    9
  763. Removing yourself from the relationship is always your greatest leverage, and (while potentially inconvenient or difficult) can be done with a roommate or close family member. However, if you're not willing or able to remove yourself, you can reduce contact and use non-reinforcing communication strategies. I'll discuss more in a future episode. Thanks for watching.
    9
  764. If they did, they wouldn't be romances...
    9
  765. It's not easy to do, but it is possible. The issue is that most people can't start it all at once. They first need to create the structure that can support this possibility -- which can take years. But if it's going to take a while, you might as well get started. Your best bet would likely be to liberate your earning from your time, which would probably entail starting your own business. It's very hard to not eat crumbs when you have a full-time job. Developing a part-time income stream to replace the day job will take a while, but that would also mean that the childcare will decrease commensurately as the kids grow, enter school, and become more self-sufficient.
    9
  766. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Some of you might be wondering why I talk so much about sex and money on this channel. After all, isn't this a psychology podcast? And aren't these relatively superficial considerations? What do these topics have to do with mental health? Well, it turns out that they have a lot to do with well-being. In this episode, I provide two answers to these reasonable questions. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com #sex #money #psychology
    9
  767. Agreed. There's an insidious belief in our culture that a relationship fails if it doesn't last forever. It's good to be more generous to our previous attempts, whenever appropriate.
    9
  768. That was my story, and it hurt like hell. However, the experience was a lesson for me, and it helped me align with reality.
    9
  769. This one helped me turn my life around nearly twenty years ago...
    9
  770. Self-respect is paramount. Since you can never leave the relationship with yourself, it's important that you're good company.
    9
  771.  @KatharinaKaschka  You make many good points. Perhaps the respect you describe was easier to give in the olden days because social roles (and their attendant power structures) were more well-defined. Sort of like in the military: everyone knows their place in the hierarchy and understands the behavior due to their superiors (and expected from their inferiors).
    9
  772. How we bait, so we catch...
    9
  773. "Cancer cures neurosis," is a quote from the great psychotherapist, Irvin Yalom, who (like me) got his start as a psychologist working with cancer patients. Among other things, he meant that a real problem tends to put things in perspective for folks. In this episode, I discuss how the core of neurosis is conflating a fake problem with a real problem, and how those who are actively dying tend to get very busy living. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com
    9
  774. In this episode, I will discuss another important aspect of romantic love: solipsism. This is the belief that nothing exists outside of the self, or -- in the case of romantic love -- outside of the merged dyad. As I explained in a previous episode in the series, "Romance is for men," romance was invented by lower-status men for lower-status men as a means of competing with higher-status men for the most desirable women. As a result, one of the imperatives of the romantic lover is to lure the love object away from the competition of these higher-status men. Since he cannot rule in the real world, the romantic lover will create his own solipsistic universe where he can be king. "Chasing cars:" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GemKqzILV4w Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com
    9
  775. Thanks for sharing.
    9
  776. It's true. Feminism has significantly altered the double standard, such that it isn't nearly as imbalanced as it once was. However, I think that it still exists in an attenuated form in the present day...
    9
  777.  @jasmine-9224  this phenomenon will exist culturally as long as it is easier for women to get sex than it is for men to get sex. And according to the recent data, this gap is getting wider of late, not narrower.
    9
  778.  @larryrobx  Well, learning how to "cope" (or "deal with") the challenges of life is actually a big part of many therapeutic processes. The idea here is to replace the targeted thought with something that "still fits the facts of the case," which (ideally) is less distortive than a rationalization.
    9
  779. I'm glad you're enjoying the format, Nau. In my experience, it's often the case that a message becomes more powerful if it can be communicated in fewer words.
    9
  780.  @lastofthemohicans4665  Thanks for the encouragement. I'm glad you're finding value in the channel. Makes the work worthwhile.
    9
  781. A leader always has to model ideal behavior in front of her subordinates. The alternative will be perceived as hypocrisy (do as I say, not as I do), and will undermine confidence and compliance.
    9
  782. Thanks of the love, Christian. "Love in the western world" is dense even for native speakers; so your experience isn't unusual. Shout out to Zambia!
    9
  783. Haha. Thanks for sharing, Matheus. For the record, the Portuguese-language movie I was watching when I realized this was "Black Orpheus." Highly recommended. Thanks for watching!
    9
  784. Ultimately, the goal is to change the core beliefs that give rise to the critical inner voice. This is one of the primary objectives of many psychotherapies. You may also want to check out my video on "The block-and-replace technique," for an example on how to address the automatic thoughts that arise from those beliefs. Both approaches take time and effort, but the investment is worth it.
    9
  785. Life is a game of sorts -- or, more specifically, a series of nested games. It's easier to live if you learn the rules of the games and cultivate an attitude of play. Alan Watts embodied this well.
    9
  786. Everyone is completely unique and totally replaceable. It's one of the paradoxes of human relationships. I made an episode on this topic a while back: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlaTgJidNoY
    9
  787. It's true. Often removing one or two toxic people from your life is far more beneficial to your well-being than forming dozens of healthy relationships. This is the same principle behind "Stop what hurts you first."
    9
  788. If you haven't already, you may want to check out my episode "Women treat men the way men treat jobs." The fact of the matter is that people want things from other people, and relationships (of all kinds) are the media through which the transfer of value occurs. That's not narcissistic; that's human nature. It is what it is.
    9
  789. I'm with Isoka on this one. If you're a woman looking for a committed relationship with a high-value man, then you have to have a strategy. Loving your life and dating intentionally are not mutually exclusive.
    9
  790. If you want to prioritize connection (which is a good idea), then you have to meet in the real world. And meeting in the real world will lead to a lot of dead ends: I've gone on hundreds of first dates. The trick to not getting jaded or burned-out is to be outcome independent. See @Eve Lin's comment. The more you can see the date as an opportunity to have a conversation with another human being, or just as a chance to practice your banter, the less likely you'll feel it's a "waste of time" if it doesn't "go anywhere." High hopes, low expectations. At the end of the day, no one can really waste our time without our permission. And if we can find value in the time we spent, how can it be wasted?
    9
  791. Thanks for the love, brother.
    9
  792. Hi, Manila. I think the metaphor is broadly generalizable, and isn't just about romantic relationships (though it certainly could be). For example, some people are waiting for a promotion at a company that will never advance their careers, and others are waiting for an oblivious friend to apologize for her bad behavior. Such people would be "standing in the wrong line." You should only wait for something if you have a reasonable hope of achieving it. Make sense?
    9
  793.  @isabellezionchipochaishe7103  That is an excellent question. And I think it would be better answered in a video (than a comment). So stay tuned.
    8
  794. Check out the full interview with Shawn T. Smith: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sP0-5y7SzNg In this clip, Shawn and I discuss the female practice of punishing men for not aligning with their beliefs by withholding sex. After providing a brief synopsis of Aristophanes's "Lysistrata", in which a group of women make a pact to withhold sex from their husbands until they agree to stop making war with neighboring state, I provided a few examples of this principle in action in my own life. Shawn then points out the limitations of this strategy. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #sex #women #relationship
    8
  795. That's an increasingly common problem for women these days...
    8
  796. Yes -- we have a pretty big social problem on our hands.
    8
  797. There's a lot of wisdom in that little book.
    8
  798. Not only did the study not include a survey, but all the confederates approached "members of the opposite sex" (p. 49). Literally none of these are findings of the study. The statistics I accurately cited are on page 50. The closest the article comes to corroborating anything in this comment is one sentence in the Interpretation section that reads: "It may be, of course, that both men and women were equally interested in sex, but that men associated fewer risks with accepting a sexual invitation than did women" (p. 52). This is hardly an empirical finding. In fact, the researchers explicitly admit that they are "not quite sure why" the results came out the way they did (p. 51). But don't take my word for it. Here's a link to the full article: https://www2.hawaii.edu/~elaineh/79.pdf
    8
  799. It would be a simpler world is everyone did what they said they were going to do, would it? Unfortunately, that's not the world we live in, where words are as often used to obscure the truth as to reveal it. If you haven't done so already, you may want to check out my episode "How to confront a friend" and my playlist "How to deal with other people" for more content on this topic. Thanks for watching!
    8
  800.  @namaste348  If you want to attract a successful man in your 30s, your best move is to become indispensably useful to him. Figure out what he wants and help him get it.
    8
  801.  @coconutwater4531  Because "and is expensive." Which is statistically more likely: that a woman is attractive, OR that a woman is attractive AND highly-educated AND financially successful AND emotionally stable. AND significantly reduces probabilities. Without knowing anything about the actual figures, I can be almost certain that the likelihood of the latter is significantly lower than the former. See my episode "And is expensive" for more information.
    8
  802. No expectations, no disappointment.
    8
  803. That's right. Men do this to themselves.
    8
  804. I think that fits with my understanding, which is why I tried to avoid words like "superior" or "inferior," which tend to carry a moralistic connotation. Trade is always based on unequal estimation of value, and that estimation is largely predicated on the necessity of our circumstances.
    8
  805. It's true -- a lot of my content is presented through a heterosexual lens. However, many of the same gendered dynamics (i.e., masculinity and femininity) are at play in same sex relationships, as well. My next episode will discuss some of the things I've learned from studying gay relationships. So stay tuned.
    8
  806. I agree -- most people in life are not going to care about you, one way or another. And this is what makes the drive for revenge so pathetic, as it places near the center of your life another person who may not even remember you exist. That said, there's a reason why it's called a revenge fantasy .
    8
  807. I'm glad you're enjoying the content, Manila. While I try to make my videos as accessible as possible, I appreciate that they won't be for everyone. That said, I'm hopeful that there are enough folks out there interested in higher-level stuff to justify my efforts. Thanks for watching.
    8
  808. Oooh. I might have to steal that one. 😅 Thanks for sharing.
    8
  809. That's how it is. And if the first plan doesn't work, come up with a second one. Keep working until it works!
    8
  810. Well, it likely means that the man is young. Older women typically aren't attracted to even older women. I'll try to do an episode on this in the future.
    8
  811. It's often the case that just a few people are responsible for the vast majority of conflict and strife in our lives. Removing yourself from their presence can have immediate, positive effects.
    8
  812. That's right. Even if you're mad at your boss, you don't fly off the handle. You exercise sufficient self-control to restrain yourself, because you understand it would be "inappropriate" to behave that way in the workplace. Those close to us deserve better than the versions of ourselves we give at work. I made an episode on this a while back called, "The gift of your absence: The threshold of tolerance".
    8
  813. I'm glad to hear it, Rania. Keep coming back.
    8
  814. It's a simple skill -- so children should be able to learn it (though the language would likely need to be changed a bit). If you come up with anything good, let me know.
    8
  815. According to my friends who work in family law, the most common fear that is brought up by women during the pre-nuptial negotiation process is that the man will eventually leave her for a younger woman. Among other things, this is much less likely to happen when the man actually marries a younger woman.
    8
  816. Many people often approach dating through the lens of shared interests. While there is a grain of wisdom to this perspective, it ultimately doesn't make a lot of sense to do this. And there are two main reasons for this. First: shared interests are factual disclosures, and factual disclosures do not increase attraction or chemistry (which is what people are generally looking for in a relationship). And second: your interests (and your partner's interests) will change in time. If the basis of your relationship is your shared interests, how will it continue when those interests inevitably shift? Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com
    8
  817. I like that perspective. It dovetails nicely with the message of "Thoughts aren't private."
    8
  818. I hope it works for you. Serial 7's aren't everyone's cup of tea, but I find the technique useful in my own life.
    8
  819. Marriage absolutely is not for everyone. It's good that you've recognized what you are and are not willing to do in a relationship, and have the integrity not to try to get what you want without exchanging value.
    8
  820. I think that's what we call a pimp.
    8
  821. Yes -- contentment is a decision that we can make at any time. It's an option available to everyone.
    8
  822. Thanks for the support, RiceBall. That's an interesting idea. I'll see what I can do. In the meantime, you might want to check out "The reason why you exist."
    8
  823. You might not know the whole story...
    8
  824. I wouldn't argue with that.
    8
  825. Stay tuned.
    8
  826. I would refer you to the earlier episodes in this series for a fuller appreciation of the bases of these theories (I have a playlist on the subject). They are largely based on de Rougemont's extensively researched "Love in the Western world" (among others). However, I put some of my own spin on them as well. Why? Because romance has evolved since its origins in the 15th Century. For instance, as de Rougemont explains, traditional romantic love was never sexual. Today, the two terms are largely synonymous. Young men are certainly more romantic than older men, and disenfranchised men (30% of men under 30 did not have sex in the previous 12 months) are often more so than others. With a lack of actual experience with women, these men tend to idealize and fantasize about women (i.e., oneitis, pedastalizing, etc.), behaviors that are largely dispelled with time and experience.
    8
  827. Thanks for the love, brother
    8
  828. A little bit of both. Freud wrote at length on the libido, and discovered many "socially unacceptable" realities there. A good modern resource on the subject is Esther Perel's "Mating in captivity."
    8
  829.  @elleluminate5946  See my response to Renee Davis. There's also the data I spoke about in the episode on gender gap in average age at first marriage. The point of this channel isn't to just spout my opinion or share anecdotal evidence.
    8
  830. You aren't hoping younger men catch your eye.
    8
  831. Ahead of all of us is old age, sickness, and death. The first two, if we're "lucky;" the last one, for us all. And for many, the decline is a gradual "taking away" until there is nothing left. I worked with cancer patients for years, many of whom had terminal diagnoses. Almost all passed through a period of despair as they accommodated themselves to the reality of their situation. However, on the other side of that despair, was appreciation for the life they had left. And few spent those days complaining of their condition, despite (in some cases) obvious physical suffering. As Irving Yalom observed, "cancer cures neurosis." The truth is the end will be here before we know it. In the vast majority of cases, there is no need to hasten its arrival.
    8
  832.  @kevinmccarthy1196  Well said.
    8
  833. Thanks for your support, David. I no longer offer the option to sponsor an episode, which is why the link is dead. However, you can support the channel in other ways, if you're interested. I hope to get my new website up and running soon.
    8
  834. Indeed. There are few things more emotionally powerful than the innocent love of a child.
    8
  835. Hi, Mika. There can be lots of reasons why someone doesn't come back. However, I want to stress that this technique isn't about "getting" someone to return to your life with a better attitude, but about valuing yourself enough not to remain in a diminishing relationship. People often come back when you pull away, but that's simply a side effect of increasing your value. If you're moving forward and improving your life, then it's only a matter of time before either (a) your ex comes back, or (b) you meet someone better for you. Hang in there!
    8
  836. Oh yeah -- it's very difficult to act against one's emotional impulses. However, like anything else, it does tend to get easier with practice. Hang in there!
    8
  837. I've had some pretty rocky relationships myself, but I'm not talking here about some kind of "eternal love" (which I don't believe exists between humans). Rather, I'm talking about ordinary close, intimate relationships. At some point, it's essential that you let yourself be known in these contexts. Otherwise you remain a stranger to those closest to you.
    8
  838. Great attitude, Adrianne. Especially the bit at the end. If you're looking for a relationship, it's important to date regularly to keep your hand in the game. Otherwise, you might be too rusty to take advantage of a great opportunity when it does cross your path.
    8
  839. I think that observation is true and insightful. When I was overcoming my depression, I also noticed that a part of me "liked" being depressed. Maybe I'll make a video on this topic...
    8
  840. That's a good line.
    8
  841. You gotta feel it to heal it. I think it's healthy to pass through a phase where you allow yourself to experience your negative feelings; however, you don't really want to dwell there. Believing that you "shouldn't" or "will not" have certain emotions does little to change the actual existence of those feelings -- and could even make their processing more difficult, as they may now be compounded with guilt or shame. Be kind to yourself!
    8
  842. Sometimes we have to pass through the gateway of disappointment of how our life could have been to see the joy and meaning in the life we actually have. I think this is a Zen principle, though the words are my own.
    8
  843. That sounds like you're waking up to the possibility that not all people have other people's best interests at heart, and that they may be willing to sacrifice the lives and well-being of others to further their own goals. Without this understanding, you're easy prey. No need to be unduly anxious; however, some degree of wariness or caution is justified.
    8
  844. People often have very good reasons to be angry. The problem is that those "good reasons" tend to keep the anger alive, and over time this anger is subject to becoming a core part of a person's identity -- so, on some level, the person has to keep the anger alive in order to "continue to exist." It's a vicious cycle. The way to stop this cycle is to forgive. Forgiveness is a skill by which we release our hearts from resentment. It does not condone what happened, and we don't do it for others. We do it to save ourselves. You might want to listen to my episodes "How to forgive" and "The town liar lies." Hope this helps.
    8
  845. If you're still breathing, there's still time on the clock. Keep playing.
    8
  846. In practice, I would agree with, Vijay. But stoicism argues that it is possible to always get what one wants. The catch is that is involves "wanting" in a radically different way.
    8
  847. Every time you feel like giving up, make a commitment to write one paragraph of your thesis. You may also want to check out my episode "How to be more disciplined." It discusses a strategy that I used to write my dissertation in three months time. Hang in there!
    8
  848. If you like who you've become, you can't begrudge the path that brought you there.
    8
  849. Investing in yourself is rarely wasted effort. Think of it this way: how much money would you spend to magically become fluent in another language? The answer to that question is your budget for that project, in terms of time, energy, and money.
    7
  850. Check out my episode entitled "Change your story" for more on the victim mentality, and "Look for solutions" for more on negative attention bias. Thanks for watching.
    7
  851. Gomez and Morticia actually crossed my mind when I was creating this video! I think they do have all three -- but I didn't love the movie, so I didn't include it as an example. However, what I do like about the example of Gomez and Morticia is how weird and unique they are. A relationship with love, sex, and commitment can't be bought "off the rack." It needs to be custom-tailored to the specific individuals involved. These relationships are often "one of a kind," and unconcerned with how relationships "should" look. Thanks for sharing!
    7
  852. Thanks for your question, Hassan. It's a good one. I think there are a number of different ways people can go about selecting the values that guide their lives. We can think of these as "meta-values." One meta-value might be "Effectiveness," which entails choosing the value associated with the highest projected odds ratio of securing the desired outcome (like you described). However, another might be "Self-Development," which would entail choosing the value they would most want to strengthen in an aspirational capacity, even if it is not associated with the highest likelihood of success. Yet another might be "Integrity," with would entail prioritizing coherence with previous decisions, etc. Hope that helps, and thanks for watching!
    7
  853. I think this is an important concept, because it's not possible to compromise on certain things. For instance, you can't have half a kid. If people enter into such decisions without an attitude of sacrifice, they're subject to becoming bitter and resentful in the long term. Thanks for listening.
    7
  854. Help me get there!
    7
  855. Thanks for the love, Keith. Keep coming back!
    7
  856. I'm recommending the opposite, actually. When people try to hide their true thoughts, their unconscious behavior generally betrays them in the long run. So the recommendation is to work to align thoughts and actions. The main issue with being always "genuine" is that not everything someone thinks is actually a reflection of their authentic self. Speaking or acting from a place of reflexive judgment or emotional reactivity is arguably weaker, as it's the path of least resistance.
    7
  857. Emotion (e-motion) causes motion, causes movement in our lives. That's one of the primary evolutionary functions of emotion. Without a felt need to do anything, nothing gets done. Unfortunately, most people are motivated by negative emotions, principally fear. This pushes you away from what you don't want. The solution is to cultivate more positive emotions, like desire. This pulls you toward what you do want.
    7
  858. Yeah -- I think it's for younger women (in their 20s, more generally). I have a separate video coming out for the men soon.
    7
  859. Haha I like it!
    7
  860. If you can do all three, then the world is yours for the taking.
    7
  861. That experience is this channel's entire mission!
    7
  862. You're not wrong. Revenge is about hurting others. And when self-improvement is yoked to the force of revenge, the intention is to hurt others with the pain of envy and regret.
    7
  863. Of course, Zaitun. People have a right to choose for themselves -- even if that choice produces suffering. Suffering isn't always a problem. Often times, it's the precursor to wisdom. And, just for the record, there is a big difference between saying "yes" to the present moment and saying "yes" to other people. In this video, I'm talking about the first type of "yes."
    7
  864. I didn't know that! However, if simplicity is a sign of mastery, it must be a associated with a high degree of competence (or skill) -- and skills can be learned.
    7
  865. Yeah -- I've really had to work on this one myself.
    7
  866. That's right: chemistry and connection happen in spite of the statistics, not because of them. Many people "look great on paper," but don't actually feel much for their partners, one way or another. Some people seem like an impossible match, but seem to "click" on a deeper level.
    7
  867. In terms of appearances, the closest thing to good is evil. So it's important that we use our discernment to carefully examine the difference.
    7
  868. Friendship is the highest form of relationship on the planet. All others require a contract.
    7
  869. That's a good one.
    7
  870. Haha thanks, Sisi :)
    7
  871.  @2007beet  Hm. I'm afraid I'm still not getting it. Something about dating apps, obviously. Hopefully, I'll be able to shed more light on the subject of dating in future episodes.
    7
  872. Then you need friends who are competent and equipped to deal with life.
    7
  873. Art only works because it resonates with an understanding we already had but couldn't quite articulate. With that understanding, the work would be alien and unintelligible.
    7
  874.  @KatharinaKaschka  Unless you live in the middle of nowhere, there is no reason to set your distance parameters that widely. Most major metropolitan areas have hundreds of thousands of folks on the apps, which means (if you live in a city) you stand a pretty good chance of finding a good match close to home.
    7
  875. Women in their 30s are at a lower risk for pregnancy than women in their 20s. I've never heard of a 25 year-old woman needing IVF treatments. And late bloomers typically have fewer relationships by the time they hit 30 than do early bloomers.
    7
  876.  @icequeen5553  Makes me wonder why she doesn't just choose that someone to begin with...
    7
  877. Strawman argument. Assumes that when women are not financially independent they are likely to fall prey to abusive husbands.
    7
  878. That's a common attitude. Unfortunately, it's one that isn't associated with a good deal of success in dating. And that's because what tends to work in business (surprisingly) tends to work in dating. We would never tell a salesman that he shouldn't bother to figure out what his customer wants, and that the customer can either take it or leave it. We would never advise a salesman who isn't selling to "just be himself." That person will have poor sales and bad reviews. Before too long, he'll end up blaming the customers for not buying what he's trying to sell. The idea that no additional effort is necessary to secure a high-quality relationship is one of the most detrimental to a person's overarching success.
    7
  879. I agree -- I love movies. I also sometimes make episodes on interesting psychological ideas found in popular culture. You might want to check out my playlist "Lessons from pop culture," if you're interested. Thanks for watching!
    7
  880. They often have a hard time 😅 It's not impossible, but it typically involves more effort and communication.
    7
  881. I have a few other episodes on the same theme, if you're interested, including: "The universe guarantees no results" and "The fear of disappointment."
    7
  882. Thanks for the support!
    7
  883. It sounds like you're doing the right things (i.e., working on yourself, accepting responsibility, giving space) in a difficult situation. You might feel an impulse to chase after her. Resist it. It will likely drive her further out of your life. Allow her the time and space to choose you. And, in the meantime, do about your business. Doing this won't guarantee that she will come back. But it's probably your best move. Hang in there.
    7
  884. *Otacon
    7
  885. Excellent! Glad to hear that it's helping you.
    7
  886. That's right. Men want the Barbie doll; women want all the stuff Ken comes with. Considering a better offer solely to mean better material conditions is to approach this from only the most superficial level. A better offer can mean commitment, freedom, excitement, comfort, conversation, "being in love," etc.
    7
  887. Research does indicate some gendered differences in this regard. For instance, a classic study found that, if forced to choose, women would rather be loved than respected, and men would rather be respected than loved.
    7
  888. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. If someone in your life has become unjustifiably critical, disrespectful, or unappreciative, it might be time -- at least for a little while -- to give them the gift of your absence. The key to doing this is to leave the relationship before you feel no longer capable of giving your best. When you do this, people might actually miss you and remember why they were in a relationship with you to begin with. However, if you complain and attack before leaving, then others will only feel relief when you're gone. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. To propose a topic for discussion or to schedule a consultation: psychackspodcast@gmail.com Podcast available on Apple, Google, and Spotify. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com #relationships #value #respect
    7
  889.  @robinhightower9031  Never claimed that experience. I speak as a man and as someone very familiar with the data.
    7
  890.  @elleluminate5946  Did you read the article?
    7
  891. You're welcome to present solutions on your channel.
    7
  892. You're not wrong, Sv. The present moment is the only time that anything can happen. Memories of the past or fantasies of the future all occur in the present. When I talk about "turning toward" the present moment, I'm talking about cultivating an attitude of acceptance toward what is. Sometimes when something occurs that people don't like, they effectively say to themselves: "I don't like this moment. So I'm going to turn away from it and engage with something else instead. I'm not willing to accept this, so I will avoid it or distort it." And this avoidance and distortion creates a lot of the unnecessary suffering on this planet. And while this suffering isn't needed, it's certainly real -- or at least as real as anything the mind experiences. Hope that helps to clear things up.
    7
  893. That's very sweet, Julianne. Thank you for listening.
    7
  894. I'm glad you're enjoying it, Reema. Thanks for your support and help spread the message.
    7
  895. Wow -- that's some strategic "reverse psychology" right there. 😅
    7
  896. Hey John. That's actually a good question. Maybe I'll make a video on it in the future. In the meantime, you may want to check out "We learn about ourselves in relationships." Thanks for your support.
    7
  897. As far as I know, there are no recordings of the game being played in my alma mater. However, there are examples of the game being played in books and movies all the time. I plan to explore this idea in future episodes. So stay tuned.
    7
  898. "It could lead to bigger things" is the carrot on the stick that several industries use to exploit an entire generation.
    7
  899. I think Jesus would agree that our lives are already justified -- though perhaps for different reasons.
    7
  900. It's kinda like someone who keeps swearing they would never, ever, ever lie to you 🤔
    7
  901. Truly predatory people groom their victims over time. It's important to stand up to smaller violations before they have a chance to become more transgressive.
    7
  902. I'm glad you're finding the channel helpful, Excel. Keep coming back.
    7
  903. A good woman can bring a lot of value into your life. However, as always, it's the cat that decides which milk is good.
    7
  904. At a certain point, "trying to understand" becomes a quagmire of rumination. More and more time is spent for fewer and fewer insights. So the ROI makes the practice economically infeasible over time.
    7
  905. He must not have gotten very close to people. If you're ever bored in a relationship, it means that you've stopped telling the truth.
    7
  906. Solitude is generally preferable to the wrong company. However, no enemy is more dangerous than the one we carry within. I hope you continue to heal.
    7
  907. A dating profile is like a little commercial for your company. As such, it's more effective if it focuses on what your customers want than what your company does. And a company that doesn't listen to its customers won't last long.
    7
  908. It's true. It's paradoxical, but to change something we often must first accept it as it is.
    7
  909. Women are generally hypergamous. It's not restricted to the most attractive ones. However, there is evidence to suggest that folks limit their partner criteria as a consequence of self-perceived attractiveness. If this is so, then we would expect some of these dynamics to play out in an attenuated fashion among less attractive women and lower-status men -- which is generally what we see.
    7
  910.  @jeannieneuser5316  "Hypergamous" means "marrying up." So it's logically impossible for men and women to both be hypergamous on the same variable -- though you can potentially make the argument that men and women can be hypergamous on different variables (i.e., looks and money, for instance). However, I think that's a fairly limited way of looking at it. When it comes to mate selection, all people, men and women, are going to go with their best available option (as defined by the selector). What I think hypergamy refers to in general is, on the balance, a woman's best available option is better than a man's best available option. Take your lovely partner. He is handsome, earns more than you, is smart, is talented, is funny, is sweet, is encouraging, is kind, is a protector, is reliable, is loyal, is growth-oriented, is inquisitive, is solicitous, is emotionally supportive, and is good company. That's sixteen things! I've dated a lot of women in my time, and many of them were lovely people; however, no one was all sixteen of these things. This is what is meant by hypergamy more generally. Because of sexual marketplace forces, men typically have to give more to get less.
    7
  911. I'm glad to hear that it resonated with you. I came up with the concept many years ago, when I was asked to officiate a wedding. Your understanding is a good one though: both what you do and how you do it are choices. They generally require both effort and intention.
    7
  912.  @steph6109  I wouldn't say you're wrong, but I think Carlos has a point. No one really teaches men how to lead a woman, and society is sending him all kinds of mixed messages (and bad advice) on the subject to boot. It's cruel to punish someone if they don't yet know how to do what is expected of them. If you haven't already, you may want to check out "Women treat men the way men treat jobs."
    7
  913. Nassim is a smart man.
    7
  914. This is generally the case. Though self-improvement isn't always a linear trajectory!
    7
  915. I would agree that a sacrifice is an offering to a higher being, but I would be careful about turning the lover into that being 😅 In any case, it sounds like we have similar ideas. Thanks for watching!
    7
  916. I'm glad to hear it. Help spread the word!
    7
  917. I like Dr. House.
    7
  918. Yes -- we men are primarily stimulated visually (for better or worse). However, I'm not arguing here that you settle for a woman you're not attracted to. The idea is to find a swan that has passed through a period of being an ugly duckling (not to anticipate which duckling will turn into a swan).
    7
  919. Most games are hidden and intangible -- not only because the very concept of "gameness" only exists in our minds (as opposed to reality), but because one of the rules associated with many of the games people play is to deny that the game exists.
    7
  920. You get it. At the end of the day, the reason any behavior persists through time is because it "works" -- at least some of the time and to a certain extent. Moralizing about how people "should" behave is largely ineffective. Remember: most of the word "dysfunction" is the word "function." If "dysfunctional" behavior didn't "function," it wouldn't exist. Check out my episode "How is it good?"
    7
  921. One of my mentors once taught me his secret to successful relationships: high hopes and low expectations.
    7
  922. Thanks for watching, Summer sky. Keep coming back.
    7
  923. You can only resist what you've already accepted. For instance, if you didn't accept the reality of your cancer, you wouldn't have done something about it. Acceptance isn't about passivity (nor is denial about activity). For example, accepting than one's partner is an inveterate alcoholic may finally motivate leaving the relationship. Acceptance is an internal "turning toward" the present moment so as not to make reality any harder than it needs to be by increasing the likelihood of reality-based action.
    7
  924. Unfortunately, this is often the case: the kinder we are, the more cruelty we attract. I'd like to do an episode to help explain why this happens. Part of the issue is that the perception of harmlessness invites action without consequence (see my episode called "Don't be harmless"), but there's more to the story. Stay tuned.
    7
  925. Thanks for your support, 80z!
    7
  926. From a certain spiritual perspective, you can make the argument that all people are perfect. However, if that were true, then exercising preference among equally perfect options would be either ridiculous or immoral. And I'm not sure anyone is going to stop exercising preference in mate choice any time soon.
    7
  927. Well said.
    6
  928. That's right. Stoicism isn't the absence of emotion as must as it is the mastery of emotion.
    6
  929.  @TurkeyGuy-n6y  Fair enough. If you can't win the game, be sure to win the metagame.
    6
  930. "No one like you" is one of my favorite examples of this. However, I've since started listening to love songs in general in a different light since making this discovery. Thanks for watching!
    6
  931. That's right, Zen. We forgive so as not to poison our own hearts with resentment. It's an emotional survival strategy.
    6
  932. No. My specialty is men's mental health. However, consultations are open to all who are interested. I've worked with hundreds of women over the past ten years.
    6
  933. I kinda find that hard to believe, Renee. You've never turned someone down? It's generally a good move to want who wants you. But the sheer act of their wanting you is not primarily responsible for your attraction.
    6
  934. Good points.
    6
  935. Haha I suppose you're right. Thanks for watching. I hope you'll keep coming back to the channel.
    6
  936. In my experience, when most people make the (often difficult) decision to leave a relationship, it's not due to a single act of disrespect. In most cases, the disrespect has happened many times, and several solutions have been attempted (to no avail). So I don't really consider taking oneself out of such a situation to be passive-aggressive. I know why I'm keeping my distance. They know why I'm keeping my distance. I know that they know, and they know that I know. There's generally a lot of knowing going on. The crux of it is that when talking no longer works, you have to be willing to speak with your feet. If someone chooses to take offence (remember: offence is taken , not given ) when you establish a healthy boundary, then you might need to take a step back and question what's really going on in the relationship.
    6
  937. I hope you find the channel useful, Emily. Keep coming back!
    6
  938. If we're here, we're supposed to be. And that goes for everyone else.
    6
  939. Of course: you want what you want! People wanting you doesn't cause you to want them. Most likely there are people who want you, who you don't want back. You've simply decided to want a subset of those people who also want you -- which is not a bad idea. The law, however, still holds.
    6
  940. That's right. The origin of romance is the confusion of the human and the Divine. Quite literally. It was a magical potion that was taken by accident.
    6
  941. Since most folks don't show respect in this way, it's an easy way to make a powerful impression on someone. A person might remember a compliment like this for the rest of their lives.
    6
  942. We can control so little. Which might be for the best...
    6
  943. Values are often misunderstood as something you simply "believe." Rather, values might be understood as the cost you are willing to incur to manifest a certain actuality into the world. If you haven't already, you may want to check out my episode "Sacrifice creates value" for more information.
    6
  944. I've responded to this perspective elsewhere in the comments. This can happen, but you're better positioned to prevent it from within the relationship than to precipitate it as one of many outside the relationship. Also: a ugly duckling has already reached her potential, while a dark horse has not.
    6
  945. Some people do interpret empathy or sympathy as an admission of guilt -- which is unfortunate. The danger with automatically rejecting blame is that it tends to exacerbate the offended party, and then you have to deal with that. Taking time to consider your response (one way or another), on the other hand, is rarely a bad move.
    6
  946. In traditional Romantic relationships, the woman is always the adored. I hope to make an episode on this topic soon.
    6
  947.  @saltpepper7525  It's a good idea to first get in the habit of keeping your own promises. Once you do that you have a legitimate basis for calling out the flakiness of others. Check out my episode "How to confront a friend."
    6
  948. I'm afraid I don't quite understand your question. Try again with a simpler, direct question.
    6
  949. It works for me as well, Grant. But each person must choose whether to do so for himself or herself -- and it may be in relation to another manifestation of the Divine. Thanks for sharing your experience.
    6
  950. Then you can be music and art friends.
    6
  951. None of the older women I dated seem to have any complaints. Young men are typically cheap dates anyway. They're more than happy to skip dinner and drinks, and move straight into the bedroom.
    6
  952. "9s and 10s" for me, anyway.
    6
  953. Those numbers seem a little low to me; however, your basic point is valid. If you're a woman looking to get married, it's better to start intentionally dating for that end in your 20s.
    6
  954. Unfortunately, that's inevitable. So why expect otherwise? You might want to check out "People are disappointing." Thanks for watching.
    6
  955. I agree with the first sentence.
    6
  956. If you save a damsel in distress, your reward is a distressed damsel. Not quite the treasure most are looking for.
    6
  957. Redeeming the suffering of your past is the process by which the scar becomes the star.
    6
  958. Was that research conducted at a job interview? Take away the money and see how long people keep showing up. It's also more that people construct their identities around their jobs than go to work to align with their identities.
    6
  959. Nah, love definitely exists. It's just a mistake to conflate love with a relationship.
    6
  960. I agree -- this sounds like it might be a question of timing. It's important to titrate emotional intimacy and disclosure, so that the other doesn't feel overwhelmed. And, to Lisa's point, this could also relate to the men you are dating. For instance, men are more likely than women to be anxious-avoidant, which would provoke them to run away from emotional intimacy. However, if you seem to be dating a lot of anxious-avoidant men, you may well be an anxious-insecure woman. To the extent this is true, healing your own emotional wounding will help you attract more emotionally secure partners.
    6
  961. The decision to relinquish the victim mentality is one that only the individual in question can make. And to the extent that he or she received secondary benefit for maintaining the narrative, it will be harder for the person in question to do so.
    6
  962. You're full of surprises 😅
    6
  963.  @rodneyaho1530  I think that's well said. It makes me think of the fool's journey through the major arcana of the tarot: from unsophisticated naiveté to experienced mastery of self.
    6
  964. Wow - what a compliment! Thanks for your support, Kristen. Keep coming back and help spread the message. :)
    6
  965. The children I mentioned are those who are the product of a marriage that doesn't last (not an aborted courtship). Many men only learn about the disparity between privileges and responsibilities a few years into the process, which can create problems in the relationship/marriage further down the road. And those problems redound to the children, if there are any.
    6
  966. I think the notion of "passion" was transformed into its current meaning in the context of romantic love -- which is the conflation of the human and the Divine. For instance, the Catholic church speaks of the "ecstatic rapture" of the saints in the midst of their martyrdom (i.e., their passion). Likewise, there is a tendency in romantic love to sacrifice all for the sake of the beloved, and to believe that the scope of this sacrifice is indicative of the size of one's love.
    6
  967. Authentic confidence is pretty hard to fake, but you're right: sometimes you have to dress the part you want to play. You can't do something over and over again and get worse at it ("You can only get better"), and your mind actually has a tough time discriminating between "who you are" and "who you pretend to be." The upshot is that we eventually become who we pretend to be.
    6
  968. An even better idea might be leaving after a certain amount of time, if you have a scheduled appointment. That way you keep your side of the bargain and communicate respect for your time. My cutoff is fifteen minutes.
    6
  969. Most human interactions are an opportunity to practice, as there is usually some need that's been transacted in the exchange. Flexibility and sensitivity are both very useful -- as is the ability to understand that "no" is simply information (as opposed to a personal rejection).
    6
  970. Haha I made an episode on a very similar situation in my own life. You might want to check out "Be afraid of your fear." There's always next time.
    6
  971. This reminds me of a Maya Angelou quote: "People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
    6
  972. "A good craftsman has one scar."
    6
  973. Thanks for the support! I appreciate it.
    6
  974. Sounds like you've been through the wringer. Take care.
    6
  975. Hm. I don't think I talk about the silent treatment in the video. This is about leaving devaluing relationships and moving on with your life. There's a difference between not talking to your co-worker and putting in your two weeks' notice.
    6
  976. It should be out in a day or two. Stay tuned.
    6
  977. See "The fundamental game of human relationships"
    6
  978. Correct. It's not your job to "sell yourself" to a romantic partner. If they can't (or won't) recognize your value, create the space for someone who can to enter into your life.
    6
  979. Thanks for the kind words, Gordon. It means a lot to me to know that people like you appreciate the content. Looking forward to providing you with more stimulating ideas.
    6
  980. It's one thing for a man to speak on what women want. It's another to let women's (anonymous) responses speak for themselves.
    6
  981. Nice example.
    6
  982. Haha I don't there's anything wrong with you. Most people don't enjoy talking about things that they're not personally interested in. And this means, if you want to have better conversations with people, you can consider it your "responsibility" to find something about the topic under discussion that you can be interested in. I'll try to make a video on self-involving self-disclosure in the near future. Stay tuned.
    6
  983. Talk is cheap, as they say. It's a good idea to neither immediately believe nor immediately doubt anything one hears.
    6
  984.  @Firiel19  I agree with you. Infidelity is a complicated issue, and people don't only cheat because they're dissatisfied with their relationships. However, cheating is different from leaving. And I do believe that people generally leave relationships because they're both dissatisfied and they believe in the possibility of "someone better" (even if that "someone better" is themselves in solitude).
    6
  985. The means are the ends. There is only the process of becoming.
    6
  986. I'm glad you found this one useful, UOT. I ended up significantly burned out by the end of grad school. Hopefully, the same won't happen to you.
    6
  987. Rob's interpretations of Kubrick movies never fail to blow my mind. He's one of the best.
    6
  988. Sometimes that's what's necessary. My trust and intimacy are privileges...not rights. Failure to abide by certain minimum standards of behavior results in the revocation of those privileges.
    6
  989. This is just one lens through which to look at things. There are many, many different kinds of relationships.
    6
  990. Good tips.
    6
  991. Romance isn't all it's cracked up to be...
    6
  992. Absolutely. Given its association with survival, the desperation of "need" makes sense.
    6
  993. Thanks for watching, ROP. :)
    6
  994. I don't talk about cheating once in that episode, Abc. And neither do I condone shaming women. However, we live in a world where this double standard exists, and I wanted to explain why that might be using general economic principles. Calling other users "pathetic" is a no go. First, last, only warning.
    6
  995. Then you should definitely NOT watch "The gift of your absence." It's even shorter
    6
  996. Yes. More recognition doesn't always lead to more fame; more fame doesn't always lead to more value; and more value doesn't always lead to more money. However, more money = more money.
    6
  997. "When all has been heard, the conclusion of the matter is this: Fear God and keep his commandments, because this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed to judgment, along with every hidden thing, whether good or evil." Ecclesiastes 12:13-14
    6
  998. Hm. I think we might have to agree to disagree on a few things. 😅 Thanks for watching!
    6
  999. Thanks for the love, Hassan. You help make the effort worthwhile.
    6
  1000. I think you're seeing things clearly. The lack of social sympathy and understanding for men's issues and masculinity is one of the main reasons I established a support group for men.
    5
  1001. If a Higher Power is a fallacy, it's a very useful one: like the concept of self or the value of paper currency. For instance, Carl Jung rather famously stated that the only cure for alcoholism was "a spiritual or religious experience -- in short, a genuine conversion." This is why they talk about Higher Power in most 12-step programs.
    5
  1002. You must be new here.
    5
  1003. Imagine this statement with the genders reversed.
    5
  1004.  @bigleaptheory  I'm still formulating them myself. But once I get my ideas straightened out, I'll let you know.
    5
  1005. Thanks for watching, Chelsea! We always have a choice (though we may not always love the options).
    5
  1006. The first panic attack really can feel like you're dying though...
    5
  1007. "A good craftsman has one scar."
    5
  1008. If you've watched some of my other videos, you'll see that I'm constantly experimenting with the format. I hope that I will continue to improve the experience, little by little. Thanks for watching.
    5
  1009. Of course. Jordan Peterson is brilliant and a master teacher.
    5
  1010. That's the combination most common to modern romance, and all romances are inherently tragedies. If you haven't already, you may want to check out my episode "The truth about romance: Tragedy."
    5
  1011. Personality research indicates that women, on the whole, are more agreeable then men are, which is a big part of why many women find it difficult to say "no". Glad to hear you've figured out how to do this.
    5
  1012. Testosterone is basically a super serum. It produces the effects you list and many more. I think you can make the argument that testosterone is masculinity -- but it doesn't necessarily follow that masculinity is testosterone.
    5
  1013. Thanks for sharing, Linda.
    5
  1014. Hm. I went through a similar situation in my own past. I had a falling out with the leader of a group, and my relationships with many of the other group members suffered as a result. While I was initially hurt, I realized that the situation had shown me the strength of my friendships. I thought some were stronger than they actually were. And that was an important lesson, though a difficult one to learn. You might consider thinking of this situation as an opportunity to create space for others with whom you might become better friends to come into your life.
    5
  1015. If you pay for a service not rendered, you would only ever do so once. The one who pays generally suffers less downside than the one who won't be paid again.
    5
  1016. I think this one is gender-neutral. It's better for all people to address problems while they're still in their smallest, most manageable form.
    5
  1017. Hm. This is a complicated one, with lots to unpack. It sounds like this man could have been legitimately busy, and that the relationship could have been too new (3 weeks) to warrant significant sacrifices -- which a 14 hour round-trip could very well have been. However, I'm most interested in your statements about non-committal men. If you make it clear that you will only spend time with men who are interested in commitment, then (unfortunately) you will likely push away the men with integrity and end up with men who will tell you what you obviously want to hear. There's no problem wanting commitment. However, expecting it so early in a relationship as a precondition of dating will likely not result in your desired outcome.
    5
  1018. Thanks for the support!
    5
  1019. The feeling of being in love is very much like the experience of being on a drug, and it has a strong physiological component. But there's more to the story...
    5
  1020. Jumping over the gap in logic is faith, and people do that in a thousand different ways every day without realizing it. There is no proof for God (just as there is no proof in the experienced self) beyond the conscious experience as such.
    5
  1021. You might want to check out my episode "Cancer cures neurosis".
    5
  1022. Women treat a good man the way a man treats a good job. After years of working low-status jobs for bad pay, once a guy finds a rewarding and high-paying position with good benefits, he's probably not going to rock the boat.
    5
  1023. Yes -- these are declared preferences. However, the study is helped by the fact that the responses were anonymous and confidential, which reduced the social acceptability bias.
    5
  1024. Wow -- thanks for the very specific feedback, Keith. I'm trying my best. If my thoughts can help to reduce unnecessary suffering on this planet, then I am satisfied. Thanks for watching.
    5
  1025. Has this happened to you?
    5
  1026. Better to walk alone than with the wrong company...
    5
  1027. I can agree with that.
    5
  1028.  @janinegeorgette3708  I'll see what I can do.
    5
  1029. Hm. I think it depends on what you mean by "emotional pursuit." Romance is probably too recent an invention to have changed genetic sequencing. However, we almost certainly are hardwired for certain sexual/mating behaviors and strategies from our evolutionary past.
    5
  1030. Hi, Zephyrdoll. That's a fair question. If you haven't done so already, you might want to check out my episodes "How to believe in yourself when you have no good reason to" and "How to use your emotions to make better decisions." Hope they help.
    5
  1031. The dating pool shrinks as people age. So value goes up as a product of scarcity. However, that's only true if you restrict your age parameters -- which is something women do more than men. So men will become more valuable to women than the other way around (all other things being equal). However, the study accounted for this phenomenon by weighting responses from more desirable women more heavily than responses from less desirable women.
    5
  1032. Yes -- radical acceptance can be a very powerful tool.
    5
  1033. Thanks for the love, Shila. Keep coming back and help spread the message!
    5
  1034. Anything with rules and goal is a game. So all relationships are a game, including familial relationships. And like with any game, it's good not to play too seriously. You can kinda think of emotions themselves as games too. This is because they need certain criteria to exist and their goal is to motivate action. Check out my episode "Emotions are living things."
    5
  1035. I like that. Most people just think of habits as external behaviors, but thoughts can be just as habitual.
    5
  1036. Most successful artworks resonate with a reality that had previously lacked appropriate expression. They would find no purchase in the collective consciousness otherwise.
    5
  1037. It really is. It's simple, but it isn't easy.
    5
  1038. That was a terrible apology.
    5
  1039. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans at https://stellargre.com. In my previous episode, I discussed the importance of side hustles. In this episode, I'm going to tell the story of one of my businesses, a test prep company called StellarGRE. In the span of ten years, I went from living in public housing and putting up flyers to earning six-figures in my spare time. This was the first stage in reclaiming my life. With unwavering discipline and the right model for action, we are all capable of great things. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com
    5
  1040. I'm glad you're enjoying the channel, Work. Keep coming back.
    5
  1041. I'm glad you're enjoying the channel, Lady Boss. And thanks for the feedback. I'll see what I can do to fix the problem.
    5
  1042. I used to have a similar belief. But then I realized I could have deep, intellectual conversations with my friends or colleagues, if I wanted. It would be nice if she could speak on certain topics, but ultimately a partner requires a different "skill set."
    5
  1043. Good luck!
    5
  1044.  @PharmacyTechLabs  Nothing like being judged by people who preach not judging others. You might want to check out my video, "People are disappointing."
    5
  1045. Agreed. If she pays, she's definitely not a hooker. It's the one who accepts money who is the servant.
    5
  1046. It definitely sounds like you got the "absence" part down cold.
    5
  1047. The biological clock, generally understood as a felt sense of urgency arising from a woman's physiology as she nears the end of her reproductive window, can't exist as such. If this urge were biological, we would expect it to occur when a woman is most likely to conceive and carry a viable pregnancy (i.e., when she is young and fertile). The historical record would also likely look very different. In this episode, I make the case that the urgency in question is more of a psychological clock than a biological one. "Conditional expression of women's desires and men's mate guarding across the ovulatory cycle": https://www.sscnet.ucla.edu/comm/haselton/papers/downloads/haselton_gangestad.pdf "Variation in sociosexuality across natural menstrual cycles": https://www.researchgate.net/publication/342556732_Variation_in_sociosexuality_across_natural_menstrual_cycles_Associations_with_ovarian_hormones_and_cycle_phase Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #women #relationship
    5
  1048. I'm not sure I fully understand the question, but I've made a few episodes on loss. You might want to check out "The truth about romance (Tragedy)," "The myth of closure," and "The function of grief." Maybe those will help to answer your question?
    5
  1049. It's hard to start a new career, and it can take a while to find your voice in your new role. However, if it's going to take a while, you might as well get started 😅 Good luck!
    5
  1050. Our relationship to ourselves is among our most important.
    5
  1051. Losing a loved one is hard. Losing a loved one who is young and healthy is devastating. It "shouldn't" happen. Yet it does every day. And the people affected find ways of moving forward. Google "the parable of the mustard seed" for a Buddhist perspective on this subject. All things are impermanent -- and we can respond to that impermanence effectively.
    5
  1052.  @EyeOfTheTiger777  Well, "romance" isn't really an objective phenomenon. So if there is going to be any evidence to support its existence or operation, we probably shouldn't expect it to be empirical -- which you apparently understand, as all your counter-factuals are from literature. However, there's an important difference between love in these classical works and modern romantic love -- which you allude to. Love was historically understood to be a sickness that ended in tragedy. People did not write songs to celebrate it; they wrote tragedies to lament it. That's what separates it form modern romantic love, which is enthusiastically sought out as a means of "self-completion." If you haven't already, you can check out my episode "The truth about romance: Tragedy."
    5
  1053. Limerence and behaviors that approximate romantic love have existed for millennia. However, these were usually treated as forms of sickness or madness. No one sought after the experience, and the appropriate social response to someone who was "struck by cupid's arrow" was pity. What has changed is the social acceptability (if not desirability) of the experience. The experience has also grown increasingly ritualized, transforming it into what we understand today to be romantic love.
    5
  1054. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. In this episode, I discuss my simplified framework of human motivation: cats and cheese. Cheese is an anticipated reward associated with pleasure or fulfillment that we approach; cats are anticipated punishments associated with pain or loss that we avoid. If you understand the relative intensity and distribution of the cats and cheese in a person's perception, then you can actually predict their behavior fairly accurately at any given moment in time. Further consequences of this understanding are duly examined. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com #motivation #success #psychology
    5
  1055. Greed is an excellent example. In fact, all of the deadly sins are the corruption of healthy urges by insatiability. For instance, there is a healthy urge to acquire resources to provide for one's material necessities. However, when acquisitiveness is corrupted by insatiability it becomes greed.
    5
  1056. Love Churchill.
    5
  1057. Better to work with things than against them, whenever possible.
    5
  1058. The holidays are upon us, my friends! For many, this is a wonderful time of year when folks get to spend precious time with loved ones. For others, it's a landmine of conflict and despair. This episode is for those in the latter category. Today I'll be talking about holiday safety planning -- a must when dealing with toxic family dynamics. Here are five concrete and actionable tips to stay sane this holiday season. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com
    5
  1059.  @falguniroy3075  I'll add it to the list :)
    5
  1060. If you're handsome, people are going to compliment your appearance. Or, if you're an athlete, your athleticism; or, if you're an author, your writing, etc. When people get complimented, they tend to get complimented in the same ways over and over again. That's just the way it is. In reality, everyone has an agenda. And the more you have what other people want, the more often you will likely have to frustrate those agendas. However unpleasant this might be, it's always preferable to be in a position to turn people down than to accept a suboptimal outcome from lack of optionality.
    5
  1061. It look me a long time to figure this one out...
    5
  1062.  @elleluminate5946  The only response I see from you has a lot of questions ("Familiar with the data?") that would have been answered by the article. Am I missing something?
    5
  1063.  @elleluminate5946  I'll be making a full episode on that study soon. While there is no sample size mentioned in the study, other details indicate that the researchers considered millions of data points from hundreds of thousands of users. The results were also corroborated across four different, independent locations. This makes it an extremely robust and reliable study.
    5
  1064.  @reneedavis7248  You're right. It's probably just better to assume their intentions.
    5
  1065. They got married.
    5
  1066. Oh? And why is that? Where is this recommendation coming from?
    5
  1067. I think the need to feel "good enough" is probably universal. And we tend to do this by putting our efforts at the feet of something in the hopes that we might be judged worthy. Traditionally, this "something" has been the Divine. In romantic love, this "something" is the other. This is the fundamental tragedy of romance: it is the conflation of the Divine and the worldly, which never ends well. I'll talk more about this in future episodes.
    5
  1068. I'm actually going to release a series of videos in a week or so on how to stop having panic attacks without medication. Stay tuned.
    5
  1069. It took me a long time to learn the value of consistent bedtimes/waketimes, but they really do make a big difference. Exercise too. It can be a drag to devote so much time and energy to maintenance. But it can also be a drag to feel crummy all the time. So I guess it's pick your poison (i.e., "Pain is inevitable").
    5
  1070. I'm glad you liked it. It's one of my favorites -- which is why I'm going to re-release it next week. I think it deserves a larger audience...
    5
  1071. I'm not married. Is this a proposal? 😅
    5
  1072. Anger can be a corrupting force. It's a wonderful servant, but a terrible master.
    5
  1073. I'm glad you found it useful, Patricia. It's one of my favorite episodes.
    5
  1074. Thanks, Linda! If you want more, you can always check out my playlists. You can get your fix while taking a deep dive on a specific topic. Enjoy!
    5
  1075. Provided you gave good attention, I completely agree. On the other hand, if I never received another telemarketing call, I think it would take me some time to recognize the absence...
    5
  1076. Thanks for watching, heretolearn. I hope you'll come back and share your favorites with your friends.
    5
  1077. In a previous episode, "Three steps to becoming more confident," I discussed the pathway embedded in my working definition of confidence, namely: the consistent, felt experience of success. In this episode, I'll reveal a mystery in the word itself that can take our comprehension of the concept to the next level. What does confidence have to do with faith? And how can we use faith to become more confident? Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com
    5
  1078. Haha I haven't heard that one. I suppose you can prevent this by not dating ugly guys. 😅
    5
  1079. Yeah -- it's one of my favorite videos. I'm glad you liked it.
    5
  1080. Thanks, Mae. I hope you enjoy the content!
    5
  1081. There is no higher praise :)
    5
  1082. Saying you're "looking to see where things go" doesn't give men a license to lie and cheat. If anything, filtering for a relationship as a dating pre-requisite is much more likely to accomplish that, as you'd be incentivizing men to tell you what you want to hear. I think you need to examine this belief.
    5
  1083. I'm glad you're finding the content helpful, cenc. Keep coming back and help spread the message.
    5
  1084. That sounds about right. At least it accords with perspectives about life that I've often heard from very old people. From this point of view, it's a blessing that an individual's life on Earth is not eternal.
    5
  1085. Scarcity creates value. It's good to not make yourself too available.
    5
  1086. You're not wrong, Ash. Even in the prototypical Romantic myth, the tragedy of Tristan and Isolde, the love affair is a consummated infidelity. However, the two also repented of the infidelity and sought to restore the distance between them by the end of the story. In practice, emotional affairs often become sexual. That said, my understanding is that this was considered a significant breach of decorum from the perspective of the chivalric code. Think of the legend of King Arthur, and the betrayal of Guinevere and Lancelot. I think some cultures subsequently adapted to accommodate multiple relationships (i.e., the wife and the lover); however, I think that the romantic relationship was originally (or, at least, ideally) non-sexual. Good comment.
    5
  1087. I'd say about one-third of my therapy/consultation practice is related to dating and relationships. I've considered specializing in dating online, but I need to find a way to do so without taking advantage of people.
    5
  1088. One of the definitions of "to want" is "to lack." So, in general, people always want what they don't (or can't) have more than what they do.
    5
  1089. Always best to limit your action to objectives within your domain of control.
    5
  1090. I have an video coming out soon on this topic, called "What is true no contact?" So keep your eyes peeled. In the meantime, you may want to check out my playlist "Coping with loss and pain."
    5
  1091. Well, a right decision can only exist if the choice is connected to a goal. If you want to go to the beach, then it's "right" to take the path in that direction. However, life is also mysterious. It can be the case that taking the "wrong" path can have positive consequences further down the line. Addicts often talk about this with respect to "hitting bottom." Sometimes life has other things in store for us...
    5
  1092. "If you can look into the seeds of time, and say which grain will grow and which will not, speak then to me." - "Macbeth," Shakespeare.
    5
  1093. I'm glad to hear it, Zen.
    5
  1094. I like my scruff!
    5
  1095. Hm. I'm afraid I don't know much about reparenting, but you might want to check out my recent video on "How to heal the void within." Hope it helps!
    5
  1096. I appreciate the feedback. By showing up different, people can disrupt even long-standing patterns of behavior.
    5
  1097. There's this great bit in "The Little Prince" that talks about a Turkish astronomer. He discovers the Prince's planet, but no one believes him on account of his clothes. But when he puts on a suit and tie, he is respected as a learned researcher. The degree is a suit and tie.
    5
  1098. And many of the comments are insightful as well. I've been impressed by the quality of engagement.
    5
  1099. Thanks for your support, Steve. Keep coming back and help spread the word!
    5
  1100. Thanks for the praise, Ubah. I hope you'll keep coming back and help spread the message to others. All the best.
    5
  1101. Ooh boy. Those are big questions, and ones that I can't really answer in the comments section of a video. However, I'll be releasing more episodes on attraction in the future that will hopefully point you in the right direction. Stay tuned.
    5
  1102. I'm glad your finding the channel useful, Dustin. Keep coming back.
    5
  1103. That's sweet, but definitely not true.
    5
  1104. My next episode will address this exact situation. Stay tuned.
    5
  1105. Good for you, man. Weed is more dangerous than you think, because it tricks you into thinking you're using your time well. One day at a time.
    5
  1106. This sequence of events can happen so quickly that you might already be on step four before you realize what's going on. So being able to intervene at every link in the chain is essential.
    5
  1107. That's just how the idiom goes. The horse can be of any color 😅
    5
  1108. I'm glad you're finding the content helpful, Carla. All the best. :)
    5
  1109.  @terencehennegan1439  It's like I can hear the light bulbs going off. Keep watching, Terence.
    5
  1110.  @joycegreer9391  There does seem to a tendency in the human mind toward the negative. Evolutionary psychologists have argued that this is because it's better for our survival to err on the side of something neutral being negative (as opposed to something neutral being positive). However, like many things from our past, we can overcome this tendency, if we choose.
    5
  1111. I'll see what I can do. Stay tuned.
    5
  1112. It's John Varvatos.
    5
  1113. I think there's some truth to that: there are many, many ways we can live meaningful and fulfilling lives. And one person isn't necessarily doing it "better" than another as a consequence of what she chooses to do. As in many things, how you do something is more important than what you do.
    5
  1114. Fair enough. If you want to go, you don't need to wait for someone to show you the door.
    4
  1115. By design. Their job (first and foremost) is to sell more newspapers. And sensationalism sells.
    4
  1116. Relationships are a game. Love is an adverb (watch my episode).
    4
  1117. I don't quite agree. I think men are much more honest and straightforward about wanting a "hot" girlfriend. For better or worse, they place a premium on physical attractiveness that you don't hear in the disclosures of women. My point is that this mystifies the importance of attractiveness to women, which potentially places men at a disadvantage.
    4
  1118. That's right. That will be the theme of the next episode in this series, which will release next week. Stay tuned.
    4
  1119. I would agree -- this video is really geared toward straight men and women. However, most of my videos on attraction ("The fundamental law of attraction," "The balance of attraction," "Being loved by the one you're with," "Being with the one you love," etc.) are applicable to sexual dynamics more generally. That said, there does seem to be a sexual orientation component to the double standard described here. For instance, there are different social attitudes toward the idea of a man having multiple partners, depending on whether he is gay or straight. Thanks for watching, Elion.
    4
  1120. What question is answered? What journey is finished?
    4
  1121. Thanks for watching, Julie. Keep coming back!
    4
  1122. This is how a lot of women ruin otherwise good relationships. The "reward" for being the type of man she loves or connects with deeply is the expectation that he give more.
    4
  1123. Then, for you, peace is priceless.
    4
  1124. Thanks for the support!
    4
  1125. I've read everything he's ever published. Do you have a favorite?
    4
  1126. It's very empowering to learn that you always have the option of not responding. Thanks for watching.
    4
  1127. "It's better for women to be adorers"
    4
  1128. I'm a big fan of tolerance and the fundamental dignity of the individual.
    4
  1129. Hm. "Ignore" might be too strong. However, you won't win her over by showing up on her doorstep and declaring your undying love. That only works in the movies. Pursuit lowers attraction.
    4
  1130. If something's not working for you, it's ultimately your responsibility to do something about it. Glad to hear that you've taken matters into your own hands.
    4
  1131. Thanks for watching, Narvia. :)
    4
  1132. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans at https://stellargre.com. Contentment is the practice of turning toward the present moment and accepting it as sufficient. However, when I teach this to folks, the most common objection I hear is: "But, Orion, my present moment isn't sufficient. That's the problem! There are things that I want that I don't yet have." Fair enough. That said, I believe that the practice of contentment is perfectly compatible with goal-directed action. I'll explain how in this episode. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com
    4
  1133. I think one can adopt this practice as a kind of personal discipline. It may even be similar to how certain monks interact with the world. Aspire to lovingfulliness.
    4
  1134.  @musicbrazilian7065  Yeah -- there are many different forms of love, which is a big part of why talking about the concept can be so confusing. I usually call what you referred to as "mature love" as "companionate love." The Greeks famously had several different words for the concept (eros, philia, agape, etc.).
    4
  1135. Well, maybe that's not your issue then. Trust issues come from a different place than the fear of judgment. It sounds like you intuit that these issues might be due (in part) to your tendency to "see the best in others" -- which (I imagine) leaves you feeling disappointed. There are several different ways to deal with this. My episodes "Escaping approach-avoid conflicts" and "The town liar lies" might help.
    4
  1136. In many cases, it's preferable if the other person decides to leave an unvalued relationship, and a common strategy to encourage this is to make the relationship sufficiently uncomfortable for the other that he or she finally chooses to leave. Confrontation isn't always wrong, and can also be method of increasing self-respect -- and (if done with dignity) even of increasing perceived value. I have a number of episodes that touch on themes in this comment, including: "Everyone is unique and replaceable," "Don't be harmless," and "The problem of other people."
    4
  1137. This is my podcast! 😅
    4
  1138. My background in acting has helped me as a therapist in more ways than I can count.
    4
  1139. You gotta stay on the ball to stay on the wall.
    4
  1140.  @goa93  "I want my partner to make me happy" is not a criterion I often hear from men. And perhaps with good reason: it's not really possible to make another person happy. Individual happiness is an individual's responsibility. See my episode "People are as happy as they choose to be." However, I agree with your other point. In the final analysis, almost all human behavior is self-serving. Believing that "giving" is better than "taking" isn't necessarily true. We often say that "it's better to give than to receive." So the taker creates the opportunity for the giver to be a giver and have the "better" experience. See my episodes on "Being with the one you love" and "Being loved by the one you're with".
    4
  1141. Thanks for watching, Suzanne. I'm glad you're enjoying the channel.
    4
  1142. I'm glad you like them, Vijay. All the best.
    4
  1143. If women were fish, you might be right.
    4
  1144. Thanks for watching!
    4
  1145. It's true. Some people don't want to keep you...but they don't want to lose you either. Better to get off the merry-go-round and cut contact altogether. It's not always easy...but neither is keeping that person in your life. "Pain is inevitable."
    4
  1146. Haha The Master! High praise...
    4
  1147. I don't think folks who have high self-esteem feel the need to demean others. If anything, being grounded in authentic self-worth makes it easier for them to raise up others. The impulse to bring down others is generally associated with envy (or, more insidiously, narcissism). I'll be releasing an episode on counteracting envy soon. Stay tuned.
    4
  1148. If you've reached a point where your intuition can correctly identify whether another person is judging you in the privacy of their own minds, then you've likely reached a point where this wouldn't bother you.
    4
  1149. Watch the video again. I'm suggesting men find a swan who went through a duckling period. Then consider how believing yourself to be in no-win situations may be impacting your success.
    4
  1150. Glad to hear it, Allen. Small steps consistently applied accomplish great things.
    4
  1151. "Cult" can have a pejorative connotation, but that squares with their persecution as heretics at the hands of the Catholic Church. "Sect" or "branch" doesn't have the negative connotation, but does suggest that the Cathars were still a part of Catholicism. So no perfect word here. Thanks for watching.
    4
  1152. Unfortunately, many people do hate being with themselves. This can be overcome, but it isn't easy to do so. "It's not your fault, but it is your responsibility."
    4
  1153. That is typically true: people do tend to match at comparable levels of attractiveness. However, attractiveness is only one source of power. So it doesn't necessarily follow that people of similar attractiveness have a power balance in their relationship. That said, I agree on the points of being realistic and focusing on personal qualities in selecting for a long-term relationship. I think women often do a better job of this than men do, who can put to much emphasis on physical attributes. That said, as a guy, I can tell you that it's very, very hard not to do this -- and may not even be possible for most men until they're in their 30s.
    4
  1154. Did you watch the entire episode?
    4
  1155. That's the one. My dad gave it to me.
    4
  1156. While I'm not sure if I agree with everything in this post, I do believe that modern dating practices ultimately benefit men much more than they do women. However, there are many women who believe that advocating for more traditional practices and/or gender roles is misogynistic and oppressive. So there is "education" happening in both directions. That said, Schopenhauer also spoke on the consequences of the gender imbalance you mentioned. In most places, there are more women than men -- and advocating for strict monogamy will always leave some women out in the cold, because there wouldn't be enough men to partner with. Obviously, the bigger the imbalance, the bigger the problem.
    4
  1157. Hearing is one thing. Listening is another.
    4
  1158. I've you've been trained by parents to be "nice" and agreeable, you will likely feel guilty about asserting appropriate boundaries. At least until you realize that "nice" and "good" aren't the same thing.
    4
  1159. Haha thanks for the support, Angel. You're very sweet.
    4
  1160. It's possible -- though there are other reasons why removing your presence would increase perceived value besides immaturity. That scarcity increases value is a fundamental principle of economics.
    4
  1161.  @Eans_urban_jungle  No argument here.
    4
  1162. Well said. This practice is similar to the Japanese concept of wabi-sabi, which strives to see the perfection in imperfection.
    4
  1163. This is a good point. Marsha Linehan writes on the three priorities of human interaction: task effectiveness, interpersonal harmony, and self-respect. Sometimes it's more important to prioritize harmony over self-respect. Just be careful. Do that long enough and you may find yourself in a rather unpleasant situation.
    4
  1164. Haha me too 😅
    4
  1165. Thanks for watching! I hope you find the videos useful. :)
    4
  1166. Well, the standard line is that infidelity infringes on the "mate guarding" instinct of human beings, which can trigger intense feelings of jealousy. And given how destructive this emotion can be, it's probably not in a society's best interests to encourage its cultivation (though this could also be said of a host of other negative, destructive emotions that we apparently have no problem cultivating socially). As usual, the standard line contains some truth, but the real story is more complicated.
    4
  1167. It certainly has gotten very popular, hasn't it? 😅 A follow-up video might be a good idea. Thanks for the suggestion!
    4
  1168.  @samwellington2330  Check out my playlist on the concept of the game for more on this subject.
    4
  1169. The most worthwhile goals in life are those that are still worth pursuing even if you never attain them.
    4
  1170. I'm glad you found it helpful, Jeremy. If you haven't already, you might also want to check out "The trap of why," as it touches on a related issue. All the best.
    4
  1171. He might ask himself why he didn't see that coming.
    4
  1172. Yes -- this is an adaptation of the Buddhist parable "The tiger and the strawberry."
    4
  1173. I'm a little afraid of twitter to be honest 😅 However, I do have an Instagram account, if you're interested in daily content: @psyc.hacks.
    4
  1174. Thanks for your support, Linda.
    4
  1175. Yes -- most people resort to this only after everything else has failed. However, if everything else has failed, then hoping to convince someone to treat you with basic decency by sticking around is lunacy.
    4
  1176. Thanks for your support, CM. I hope you'll keep coming back.
    4
  1177. Hi, Beatrice. The name of the sect is the Cathars, and a good deal of what I know about them comes from De Rougemont's "Love in the western world." I talk more about the Cathars in my episode on the Origin of Romance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aC9MRS2d9Q4
    4
  1178. It doesn't work for everyone, but I think it's worth a shot. At least, it doesn't cost you anything to try. The key is to get in there as early as possible.
    4
  1179. Thanks for watching, David. Keep coming back.
    4
  1180. Desire (or attraction) can't be negotiated. It's either there, or it's not.
    4
  1181. I'm glad to hear that it worked out for you. Keep it up.
    4
  1182. Under the best of circumstances, I would agree with you. However, given the chaotic and unpredictable nature of war, the entire military system is designed to be modular and interchangeable. Units are cobbled together from survivors, while whole lines of attack are sacrificed for others the casualties know nothing about. A military that depended on the brotherhood of its soldiers to hold the line could not function as such. Though prudent generals will do everything then can to foster this sentiment among their ranks.
    4
  1183. Thanks for sharing
    4
  1184. Obviously this isn't something that can be done in the middle of an acute crisis. However, in my own experience, the idea that "everything will fall apart" if I take the time to rest and evaluate is usually a thought produced by my stress and overwhelm. It may not be objectively true. In fact, I've learned to be very cautious around thoughts that begin with "I can't..." or "I don't have time to..." If you haven't done so already, you may want to check out my episodes "Emotions are living things" and "It will never be easier than it is today".
    4
  1185. Hm. I think this would be a tough sell for most folks. There's a big difference between an "uneasy feeling" (which sounds closer to what you're describing) and a full-blown panic attack. Almost by definition, the latter is an unjustified or disproportionate response -- meaning it arises where there is no objective danger to the individual.
    4
  1186. Kindness is good, but it's not always the best strategy...
    4
  1187. Working with depressives is how I came up with this rule of thumb. Many of these folks had parents or partners who were enabling the syndrome in all kinds of (ineffective) ways. When they pull back, the symptoms in the identified patient generally worsen temporarily -- which increases the internal motivation to take remedial action. Obviously, you need to be aware of suicide risks in this population (so there are limits to withdrawing support); however, increasing the client's exposure to consequence (both positive and negative) typically does wonders.
    4
  1188. Your dad isn't far off. Freud argued a hundred years ago that men's desire to please women (and thereby have access to her sexually) is the driving force of civilization. All our technological marvels and advancements can be considered the result of sublimated libido.
    4
  1189.  @phizzy123  Haha correct. Leo is actually dating model Camila Morrone (25 y/o). I was thinking of Kenan's joke about the two of them at the Emmy's (https://popcrush.com/zendaya-thirsting-over-leonardo-dicaprio-resurfaces-following-emmys/). The link is also interesting because it contains a clip of Zendaya on Ellen choosing Leo over other men, over and over again...when she was 20 y/o. So the actual situation proves my point even more. In any case, I'll edit my original comment so it's more accurate.
    4
  1190. Then you should check out my episode "The origin of romance".
    4
  1191. Desire is a faculty of the mind. You can curb desire using reason and will.
    4
  1192. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. This the first in a series of short discussions on some of the lesser-known truths about romantic love. In this episode, I'll explain why the unobtainability of the adored is actually a core component of the experience of romantic love. It goes all the way back to the code of the chivalric knights of old, and it goes a long way toward explaining one of the more bewildering facets of romance, namely: why we seem to want what we can't have. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available on Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, and others. To schedule a consultation: psychackspodcast@gmail.com Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com #attraction #love #relationships
    4
  1193. Anger is the liar who delights in mayhem.
    4
  1194. I'm glad you found it helpful, Leo. Keep coming back!
    4
  1195. Thanks for your support, Valerie. I'm glad you're finding value in the channel.
    4
  1196. Haha I'm glad you liked it :)
    4
  1197. That's right. The Cathars were opposed to the Catholic sacrament of marriage, which was considered more a Christian "duty" than an act of individual preference.
    4
  1198. Hey, Single. I'm PsycHacks.
    4
  1199.  @mikafi3813  Sounds like you're going through a tough moment right now. I think the best advice I can give you is to take care of yourself and surround yourself with people who care about you. If the breakup has brought to your attention aspects of yourself that you would like to change, then you can address those things in time. For now, just take some time to heal...
    4
  1200. Thanks for the love, Tarun. I developed these three steps long ago when I was working as a test prep instructor. The idea was to give students a practical way to increase their confidence when taking standardized tests. Thanks for watching!
    4
  1201. The idea that life is about happiness is a relatively recent one, and one that does come (ironically) with a host of difficulties.
    4
  1202. I'm fairly certain Peterson would support this video.
    4
  1203. I've worked with many suicidal patients, and I make it clear to them that I take suicidal comments seriously. If a person is really feeling unsafe, I tell him we can get a police escort to a psychiatric facility where he can rest for a few days under supervision.
    4
  1204. Thanks for the feedback. I'm constantly striving to communicate my ideas as simply as possible -- though I don't always succeed. In this episode, I'm trying to advise people to base their ideas of the way reality should be on the way reality actually is (instead of the way they want reality to be), because they'll experience less anger this way. I hope this helps.
    4
  1205. Hang in there, Sisi. "If Winter comes, can spring be far behind?"
    4
  1206. Glad to hear it.
    4
  1207. Thanks for the feedback, Rizyrozay. Keep coming back for more.
    4
  1208. Yeah -- a big one is letting go of past hurts. It's simple, but it's not easy.
    4
  1209. Glad you found the episode helpful, April. With "small" decisions like these, I try to focus on satisficing versus optimizing. If it's a "good enough" option, I go with it.
    4
  1210. It's not your responsibility to teach other people how to behave -- especially if they are grown adults. Folks can change, but only when they're ready to. And they are manifestly not ready to when they are actively disrespectful.
    4
  1211. Yes -- there is an element of supply and demand to what I'm talking about. It's usually the case that a woman has a larger supply of potential partners than a man does. But this isn't the case for very successful men. It's no coincidence that acting on this larger supply is (more often than not) related to their downfalls. Envy and shame are used as social corrective forces: to take away from those who have "too much."
    4
  1212. Thanks for watching, Ian. Keep coming back.
    4
  1213. Well, the idea is that the same principles apply when dealing with rejection, irrespective of whether your emotions are involved. Reframing rejection as the conveyance of information (as opposed to a judgment about your worth as a person) can be helpful to keep in mind, regardless of the relationship. Otherwise, it sounds like you're asking about healing a broken heart. If so, you may want to check out my playlist "Coping with loss and pain."
    4
  1214. That's right. There's a number of studies that show the effectiveness of a multivitamin in treating schizophrenia. Here's the NIH's page: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4083629/
    4
  1215. More like mind over mind, in this case.
    4
  1216. I find it super helpful. Thanks for watching!
    4
  1217. I've noticed that to be the case.
    4
  1218.  @socter  You initially used the term "compounding" which is generally used in investment to signify a fixed rate of return relative to a known principal. Hence my response. Your expanded argument is closer to the truth; however, I still think my analogy is superior. Most people are not going to become wildly successful; however, if that does happen, it will likely be due to the fact that one stock in a portfolio goes to the moon. Optimizing across the portfolio is not a good idea. Better to satisfy and observe where optimization would be best leveraged. In these cases, a small percentage of their investment will generally be responsible for the lion's share of the reward. It's true that self-development (i.e., perseverance, courage, delay of gratification) is generally correlated with success. However, those who do become wildly successful do not become so as a gradual, compounding reward. They become wildly successful kinda all at once after not being successful for some time.
    4
  1219. One of the primary functions of meditation and prayer is to so quiet the conscious mind that it becomes easier to hear the still, quiet voice.
    4
  1220. The spiritual game is the highest game of all! In the words of Alan Watts: "man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun."
    4
  1221. Yes -- envy can be extremely destructive. And I think its deepest roots are spiritual, in which a person feels annihilated at the prospect of being unpreferred (by God).
    4
  1222. If people aren't listening, get quieter.
    4
  1223. I'll see what I can do :)
    4
  1224. Haha thanks, Angel.
    4
  1225. It's not really possible to have peaceful relationships with personality-disordered people who make no effort to address their disorder. It's not easy (especially with family), but in such cases I think it is often best to maintain your distance. Given the topic of the video, I think it's important to keep in mind that both you and your brother were harmed by the family ecosystem. In its own way, being the "problem child" is no less painful and restrictive of a role as being the "peacekeeper" (and vice versa). Most likely, the love-food in that ecosystem was at least influenced by the goodness of fit between the temperaments of the parents and the children.
    4
  1226. Exactly. Peace is not nothingness, and it is an attribute of the Divine.
    4
  1227.  @PharmacyTechLabs  I think there's some truth to both perspectives. However, I tend to agree with @Lady Boss that it's typically more effective for women to be indirect in courtship. There's a time and a place to be direct; however, if you can accomplish your aims with indirect means: all the better.
    4
  1228. I didn't bother to read this, but it's wrong.
    4
  1229. Thanks for watching, Anjali.
    4
  1230.  @modickens1272  I appreciate your insights as well, Mo. It's clear that you've studied psychology and think deeply on the subject. Thanks for your support.
    4
  1231. So... you're saying that a woman who isn't reassured then learns how to regulate her emotions and reassures herself? Interesting...
    4
  1232. Again: a common problem. I also did an episode on the topic called "The gift of your absence: The threshold of tolerance".
    4
  1233. Thanks for the love, Samantha! Keep coming back and help spread the message.
    4
  1234.  @denisel780  Glad to hear it.
    4
  1235. Give it a shot and let me know how it goes.
    4
  1236. If you read the original novels, you learn that Bond's parents died in a mountaineering accident when he was a boy. This likely contributed to a kind of reactive attachment disorder in which he blocked the formation of any subsequent emotional attachments as a defense against the pain of losing those he loved. And we see the effects of this disorder throughout the many films of the franchise: the women come and go, and Bond never sheds a tear.
    4
  1237. If the game is stacked, it's stacked in our favor. We are here, with the capacity and the opportunity to be victorious.
    4
  1238. Thanks for watching, fxtrdr4. Keep coming back.
    4
  1239. Wise words.
    4
  1240. I agree with the last sentence.
    4
  1241. Thanks for your support, Vijay :)
    4
  1242. Did you watch part one and wait for part three?
    4
  1243. I have not read anything by Greene. I'll be talking more about relationships and attraction in future videos. In the meantime, if you haven't already, you may want to check out my episodes "The balance of attraction," "Being with the one you love," and "Being loved by the one you're with."
    4
  1244.  @suzanne5651  Even their "bad choices" were the stuff of their lives. Regretting them would invalidate who they had become.
    4
  1245. Oh yes -- a first date should be short and sweet. The longer you talk, the more likely it is that you'll say something to disrupt the projection to which the other person was sufficiently attracted to actually show up on the date to begin with.
    4
  1246. Our heads are full of hamburgers 😅
    4
  1247. It certainly does. But, like anything else, it gets easier with time and repetition.
    4
  1248. When there is a discrepancy between people's words and actions, always believe their actions.
    4
  1249. That's alright. Not every video will be applicable to you.
    4
  1250. That may be true; however, since most men and women won't be in the top 5% (or even top 10%) of their respective sexes at any point in their lives, it is important for the vast majority of people to find other ways to be sexually competitive.
    3
  1251.  @funkymonkey8777  That makes sense to me. A few other folks mentioned this concept in conjunction with this video, and this was a good explanation. However, it's possible that even pain has an optional component to it. As a yoga teacher once taught me: "pain is sensation plus judgment."
    3
  1252. Well, I think those folks tend to get emphasized because it's what most people want (irrespective of whether it's appropriate from them to consider it likely that they will get it). No one likes to hear that they will need to settle for less than what they want (even when their desire is unrealistic).
    3
  1253. A good craftsman has one scar.
    3
  1254. Check out my playlist "The truth about romance" for an answer to this question.
    3
  1255. Thanks for your support, man
    3
  1256. Thanks for the love, Funky Monkey. I hope you'll keep coming back and help spread the message. Your suggestion is a good one. I don't know of any good books on the subject (though I'm sure they exist). I'll try to add some more videos on values in the coming weeks. Stay tuned.
    3
  1257. Disrupting thought cascades is definitely not easy -- but it does get easier with practice. One of the tricks I use is Serial 7s. I made a video about it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJbRVY4nZzU. Good luck!
    3
  1258. My personal and professional experience. The experience of inner emptiness is often the result of childhood attachment traumas. Learning to appreciate that this experience may be more a reflection of one's lived history (as opposed to a reflection of one's inherent "brokenness") is one of the goals of psychotherapy.
    3
  1259. "Love has nothing to do with relationships". Feminine forms of support and companionship fall under agreeableness. Other forms can be gotten more easily from male friendships.
    3
  1260. I'm glad that you're finding the channel of value, Baolier. To be honest, many of the ideas I present here are my own. If an episode is inspired by the work of another, I make note of it in the video. That said, if you're interested in books on a specific topic, I'd be happy to make a recommendation.
    3
  1261. Thanks for the support, Godfrey.
    3
  1262. Simplicity as a form of perfection.
    3
  1263. If a $500 inconvenience consumes your last $200, you can either be broke and angry, or broke and equilibrated. Peace is a privilege anyone can afford, precisely because it cannot be bought at any price.
    3
  1264. Thanks for the love, Kari. Keep coming back and help spread the message!
    3
  1265. Thanks for sharing, Maria.
    3
  1266. We have all those concepts now because a physicist, cosmologist, geologist, and biologist did just that. They all started as one person's theory.
    3
  1267. If he improves, then he will get the benefit. So why should you be so concerned?
    3
  1268. Most relationships have mutual attraction, and (in many cases) the mutual attraction is undeniable. However, my point here is that the mutuality is never exactly equal, and that these imbalances have important emotional consequences for the individuals involved.
    3
  1269. 90% of the comments here can be addressed by considering the answers to these questions. Does a good company spend more to attract an applicant than it hopes to recoup in the employment, or than it could stand to lose? Does a smart company lavish attention on an unqualified applicant? Does a wise company present a vision that deviates significantly from the actual employment? Remember: if payment is rendered but no service provided, this will only ever happen once. In this case, the one who pays generally suffers less downside than the one who won't be paid again. If dating is an extended hiring process, then it is typically on the company doing the hiring to cover the expenses incurred during said process. This is why organizations fly out compelling applicants when they are interested in their services. However, since most applicants will not ultimately be offered a position, covering these expenses allows the organization to back out of the process at any moment and for any reason without recourse. This is why men pay on the first date: it affords them the freedom of walking away without obligation. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
    3
  1270. Marriage began as a ritualization of the sexual opportunity that leads to childbirth. That's why marriages were only legitimate if they were "consummated." No sex, no marriage.
    3
  1271. Well said.
    3
  1272. I'm glad it was helpful. Keep coming back.
    3
  1273. That's right -- it's a game of control. We should be very cautious about doing things for other people's "own good."
    3
  1274. Agreed. But it's easier to get there if you've actually had a relationship with a high-maintenance 9.
    3
  1275. Haha sounds like you're speaking from experience. 😅
    3
  1276. Glad to hear the channel is helping you, Jasmine.
    3
  1277.  @BlessedDivine77  I think that's good advice. It's not always the best moment to make a big change; however, it's important to remember that we always have choice. In my experience, these situations often turned out to be blessings in disguise, as they motivated action toward something better that may not have happened otherwise. Hang in there.
    3
  1278. Yes -- successful, high-status men often have many women from which to choose. This is why it's important for men to have a reality-based plan and to work energetically toward its realization. Without these, he will likely have slim pickings. That said, successful, high-status men (similar to beautiful women) have a different problem, namely: how to discern a good partner from the multiplicity of options. I'll have a video coming out about this soon. So stay tuned.
    3
  1279. Haha Thanks for watching, Shahad! :)
    3
  1280. I agree with this. And I made an episode on the subject: "Love is an adverb."
    3
  1281. Thanks for watching, Martina!
    3
  1282. The two positions are gender neutral. A man (or woman) can occupy the place of the adorer or the adored.
    3
  1283. It's playing the game of marriage that puts your house/kids/financial stability at risk, not the game of attraction.
    3
  1284. Yes -- forgiving yourself is important too.
    3
  1285. Well, I kinda invented the word. 😅
    3
  1286. I think I understand the story. We see the world not as it is, but as we are. Thanks for sharing.
    3
  1287. That's precisely when it's most important to practice non-attachment. The fact of the matter is that everything that can be taken from you will be taken from you eventually -- irrespective of how hard you worked for it, how much you paid for it, and how dearly you love it. There's no need to be irresponsible with such things, but clinging to them will only make it more painful for you when it's time to give them back.
    3
  1288. Well, you didn't always have the beliefs you have now, which means that you changed them at some point. However, even if we were to assume that your belief system were perfect for you right now and couldn't be improved, everything around you will continue to change -- which will increasingly bring your beliefs out of alignment with reality. Updating our browser is something we all have to do, from time to time.
    3
  1289. Haha. Glad to hear you liked it!
    3
  1290. Well, they do. The average 12 year-old girl is light years ahead of the average 12 year-old boy emotionally. And this often continues into adulthood, where men are woefully unprepared to deal with women's emotions.
    3
  1291.  @LouisaWatt  This sounds like a more complicated situation. A claim is not the same thing as a "degrading accusation" or "nasty feedback." Regardless of what you may (or may not) have done, you are entitled to a basic level of tolerance and consideration.
    3
  1292.  @charleanestone1012  That's a good one, too.
    3
  1293. Haha oh I don't think that life sucks. So I hope I didn't give that impression in the episode. In point of fact, letting go of the expectation of recognition and appreciation can be incredibly liberating. I already have plenty of work. So I don't need to drum up business with the channel. And even if I did, I'd probably still try to tell people the truth as I see it. In my experience, that's one of the only things that really helps people. Thanks for watching!
    3
  1294. Mirroring is a common strategy in game playing.
    3
  1295. Thanks for the feedback, pkch62. I'm glad you're enjoying the channel!
    3
  1296. Thanks for the lovely feedback, Candice. You made my day. Thanks for listening!
    3
  1297. I'm not sure what this means.
    3
  1298. Yeah -- it blew my mind when I first learned its meaning too. Thanks for watching, Matthew.
    3
  1299. That's important too. I made a video on that a while back: "The trap of why".
    3
  1300. New to the channel, huh?
    3
  1301. Haha sounds like you already know the answer...
    3
  1302. There's some truth to that. Even excellence can be taken for granted over time. While this can be disappointing, it can also be a spur to even greater heights.
    3
  1303. It's not as big as your fan base, but it's growing 😅 Come visit some day, buddy.
    3
  1304. Glad it was helpful, Kel. :)
    3
  1305. How to not be harmless? Develop your power.
    3
  1306. Hm. That can happen. And it's obviously much more difficult to defend against when you're not fully conscious. At this point, however, it seems as though the "problem" is the association between sleep and the feared outcome (as opposed to the panic attacks themselves). You might want to look into "classical deconditioning" techniques.
    3
  1307.  @pogbap4595  I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to tell you why it happened. But your psychiatrist was right: physiological changes (especially unexpected ones) can raise the alarm. In most cases, we generally can't specify the origin of things. If you haven't done so already, you might want to check out my episode "The trap of why."
    3
  1308. Talking to other people is a skill. And if it's a skill, then you can learn it. And if you're not very good at the present moment, then you can only get better. So the pressure's off! It's helpful to remember that you are not wholly responsible for carrying a conversation. It's kind of a team effort. And the more people like you, the more they will help you play. I'm actually releasing an episode next week on the "game of small talk." So keep your eyes peeled. Hope this helps.
    3
  1309. I'm glad you're benefitting from the channel, Xavi. Keep coming back and help spread the word.
    3
  1310. Glad it helped you, theboolala :)
    3
  1311. The "felt relationship with a Higher Power" I discuss in the video isn't a belief -- it's a lived experience. There are believers who haven't had it, and non-believers who have. And it seems impossible to determine who will experience it, why and when. It just seems to happen to some people, for some reason. It may be useful for you to examine the origin of the Love you feel. Where did it come from?
    3
  1312. It's a fair question. But you might consider that this is reason that confessions made under duress are inadmissible as evidence.
    3
  1313. That is a good analogy. It reminds me of the the Little Prince and the baobabs.
    3
  1314. That is certainly a common problem. I made an episode on the topic called "Why most relationships don't last". You can check it out, if you haven't done so already.
    3
  1315. Thanks, Chevy. I'll keep that in mind. In the meantime, you might want to check out my episode "Redeeming the suffering of your past."
    3
  1316. Thanks for the feedback. Now get back in the game!
    3
  1317. Thanks for the support, Shaun. I hope you're finding value in the channel.
    3
  1318. The link to the study is provided with the original episode, "Women want it all." You can then peruse the entire list for yourself.
    3
  1319. That's right. Women don't simply fulfill male desire -- nor should they. As I discuss in my episode "Wanting is free," it costs absolutely nothing to want something from another person. So there's basically no actual downside and plenty of potential upside to wanting, which is why we see so much of it. However, wanting doesn't merit getting. The question then becomes: "how does you getting what you want help me get what I want?" If the questions cannot be answered satisfactorily, no relationship occurs.
    3
  1320. I think there's a lot of truth to what you say, Matthew. That said, not everyone is in a place in their lives where they have a relationship with God, and I'd like to think that meaning is still possible for these folks. Perhaps this can occur in an existential (as in, existential philosophy) sense, in which the meaning of life is created through our intentionality: the decisions we make and who we choose to be. Thanks for watching.
    3
  1321.  @jeremynechaldas9487  I'm glad to hear it.
    3
  1322. Citation needed.
    3
  1323. It's how I know what to say!
    3
  1324. Thanks, Maria. I have a video on building confidence coming out in a couple of weeks. Stay tuned!
    3
  1325. It's good to stay connected to that inner voice. It can speak more truly than our wounds can.
    3
  1326. This can happen to people, but I don't yet have a perfectly satisfying explanation for why it happens. It obviously involves a good deal of projection and attraction. But why we would project our ideal so quickly on one person in particular (and not another) is less clear to me.
    3
  1327. A lot of what is transacted between people is zero sum.
    3
  1328. When each party expects the other to give something up, it is compromise, not sacrifice. Sacrifice is non-transactional, and -- as such -- cannot reasonably be expected.
    3
  1329. I'm not sure. If you've followed my channel for a while, you'll know that I'm constantly making small improvements as I go. I hope to upgrade my tech further as the channel grows more successful.
    3
  1330. Thanks for the love, Nashwan. Keep coming back.
    3
  1331. Even these men pay with time and opportunity.
    3
  1332. That's an idea. In the meantime, you can ask questions in the comments. I try to get to as many as I can.
    3
  1333. That's not far from the truth. The fundamental myth of feminine love is "Beauty and the beast." However, we don't ever get to see how the relationship changes after the beast becomes a man.
    3
  1334. Neither is a relationship.
    3
  1335. I hope it helps you, Danielle.
    3
  1336. Makes me think of "A satisfied mind," by Johnny Cash.
    3
  1337. Haha I'll try to keep it as simple as possible. Thanks for watching.
    3
  1338.  @vijay_64800  My name is Orion Taraban. I've updated my channel's description to include that info. Thanks for the suggestion.
    3
  1339. It's often the case that we become angry so quickly that we can't really help ourselves. This is the work. Check out my episode "Catastrophic thought cascades" for more information on how to do this. Good luck!
    3
  1340. Definitely factored into my decision to release this particular video now.
    3
  1341. I hope it works for you, Maria!
    3
  1342. It's hard work to change unconscious beliefs, but it's worth it in the long run. These beliefs literally create our experience of reality. So, by altering these beliefs, we can significantly improve our quality of life (without spending a dime).
    3
  1343. Thanks for watching, Beloved. All the best on your path.
    3
  1344. That's right. If you're a pain, then people will only feel relief that you've left. That's why it's important to show up your best and leave before they see your worst.
    3
  1345. Hm. I'm sorry to hear that you've been having a tough time with the entrance exam, but I'm afraid I can't tell you what you should do. There's just too much missing context. If you'd like to schedule a consultation, click on "Consultations" under the "About" tab for more information.
    3
  1346. Groucho Marx had a joke: "I don't want to belong to any club that would have me as a member."
    3
  1347. Glad you found it helpful!
    3
  1348. Do you donate?
    3
  1349. I'm glad to hear it, Donna. :)
    3
  1350. You're probably right, Mo. I don't think there is a clear-cut answer. I'm sure culture has to do with it, and reinforcement contingencies, and temperament. But it's likely too complex to model to any degree of satisfaction.
    3
  1351. Promising to make someone's dreams come true while lacking the means to do so, is like talking trash about someone who isn't in the room. Neither one is in immediate danger of being confronted with reality.
    3
  1352. Again: the odds of retaining a relationship from the inside are better than the 1 in 100 chances of obtaining a relationship from the outside.
    3
  1353. Thanks for the feedback, Pooya. I'll see what I can do to fix the problem. I have a bunch of videos already in the pipeline. But I might be able to get something going for my next recording session.
    3
  1354. On some level, it makes sense to want what you don't have. After all, one of the definitions of "to want" is "to lack." However, I like to think that good relationships are focused more on sharing what they have (as opposed to obtaining what they don't).
    3
  1355. Check out my episode "Why people self-sabotage".
    3
  1356. If we make our happiness dependent on external conditions, we make a commitment with ourselves to be unhappy until we achieve them.
    3
  1357. Yes, people can even come to accept their childhood traumas.
    3
  1358. It is. But the sooner you do, the faster you can attain serenity.
    3
  1359. Thanks for the feedback! I'm glad you're enjoying the channel. Limerence is an interesting phenomenon. I think it's related to the experience of romantic love, and I've done a number of videos on that subject. You might want to check out "The origin of romance" and the three-series "The truth about romance." I imagine I'll return to the topic in the future. So stay tuned.
    3
  1360. These are good questions. And there may not be definitive answers. However, the further you go toward the extremes, the more it seems like there are two real possibilities: either there is an eternal, spiritual self, or there is nothing at all. See my episode "The nature of identity" for more.
    3
  1361. See "Why people get married when they do".
    3
  1362. I'm glad you're enjoying the content. Your support means a lot to me. :)
    3
  1363. In this case, the "direct approach" would be learning how to be "good with women" (or "good with men"). This would include things like attraction, seduction, and communication. Mastering these games are the most direct routes to sex and relationship.
    3
  1364. I don't think I do, but inspiration is an interesting topic. Let's see if anything comes to me on the subject. 😅
    3
  1365. I'm glad to hear that my videos speak to you, D7. But don't simply take my word for it! Consider for yourself if what I say is true. All the best.
    3
  1366.  @frau_ic  As they say, "a little knowledge is a dangerous thing." However, if we look at these instances more closely, we find that it's typically not the part that we know, but the part that we don't know (i.e., how much we will be hurt by the decision) that produces the lion's share of pain and suffering.
    3
  1367. I'm glad to hear it helped.
    3
  1368. It's actually pretty amazing how repetition only reinforces.
    3
  1369. Thanks for the support, Michael.
    3
  1370. These are excellent questions, Tammy! Let me go through them, one at a time: 1. No! 2. Usually not! 3. They'd have to, or they couldn't cheat! 4. Absolutely! Rules change all the time. 5. Haha nope! 6. Some of them are. But this is usually because they're either winning too much or losing too much.
    3
  1371. Relationships are one of my favorite subjects. I'll have a lot more to say about them in the days ahead.
    3
  1372. Decluttering is functionally a deidentification exercise. Most of the material possessions that take up space in our lives are there because of our emotional attachment to them -- over and above the value or functionality of the things themselves. The ability to cut those psychological attachments in smaller things is a precursor to bigger things. With respect to your question: the key is to be in the world, but not of the world. Easy to say, but hard to do. However, we know it's possible, as better people have lived through worse times. See my episode "The mastery of life."
    3
  1373. Thanks, Julia!
    3
  1374. True humility is even hidden from itself.
    3
  1375. Your experience is your experience. But I'm right in what I'm saying here.
    3
  1376. This is actually one of the best strategies for long-term happiness: to grow together in such a way that the happiness of each is inextricable from their mutual dependence.
    3
  1377. Every decision is a roll of the dice. Even if we were to assume a perfectly deterministic universe, we simply don't have the time or the processing power to consider all the available information. So all our choices have an irreducible degree of variance. That said, we can reduce that variance using our discernment. It's not inherently "wrong" or "bad" to walk down the seemingly empty alleyway. However, if our goal is to stay safe, our prudence and discernment should direct us away from that option, if possible. The more experienced and perceptive we become, the easier it is to discern the desirable street -- though we often have to learn the hard way.
    3
  1378. It's kind of a "chicken and egg" problem. However, my examination has revealed that behind every emotion is a thought. Think of thought as a spark that lights the flame of emotion. Once the flame is kindled, it profoundly affects thought, and you have a feedback system of reciprocal influence until that particular flame is extinguished. I talk more about how emotions influence thought in my episode "Emotions are living things."
    3
  1379. Thanks for the feedback, Adrianne. :)
    3
  1380. Sometimes in life we have to pick our poison. The chronic disappointment that attends others' failure to live up to their potential is painful. Killing the hope that they ever will is also painful. For more on this topic, you may want to check out my episode "Pain is inevitable."
    3
  1381. That's a core message of the video, Rich. You can only get better -- but you can get better at the wrong thing, if you're not careful.
    3
  1382. Hm. You make some excellent points. I wonder how I would live if I were the only person on Earth. Most likely, I'd have to create relationships in order to stay sane. Like Tom Hanks in Cast Away.
    3
  1383. I'm glad you found it helpful :)
    3
  1384. Rejection may stop some people from pursuing, but it typically does not stop people from wanting. If anything, rejection (in small doses) increases wanting (at least, for a time).
    3
  1385. Hm. That's a tough one, as the "clues" change from moment to moment, and person to person. Identifying these clues takes practice and repetition. However, you get a chance to practice every day! As long as you approach your interactions intentionally and pay attention...
    3
  1386. I like your use of "a" right choice (versus "the" right choice). Thanks for sharing.
    3
  1387. Thanks for your support, Young King. People like you make the effort worthwhile. All the best.
    3
  1388. Haha it's not so much that you can't be attracted to people who are attracted to you, as much as it is that their attraction does not cause your attraction. In this case, there could be a few different explanations. Maybe in flirting with you, you saw a side of him (funny, charming, etc.) that you hadn't seen before. Or maybe you had always been attracted to him, but you suppressed that feeling for some reason (you were in a relationship, a relationship was infeasible, etc.).
    3
  1389. There's some truth in that. I have an episode on meaning coming out soon. Stay tuned.
    3
  1390. It was my father's decision.
    3
  1391. Well said. With respect to your question: I would say it depends on your dating goals. If you're dating just to have fun and enjoy each other's company, different attitudes toward space may not be as relevant as others. However, if you're dating with the intention of eventually entering into a long-term relationship, it's important not to spend too much time with (and become emotionally involved with) folks with whom you may be fundamentally incompatible as partners.
    3
  1392. Do you have a specific recommendation?
    3
  1393. Thanks for watching!
    3
  1394. Sounds like you're riding the rides! And (I imagine) finding satisfaction in the in-between times (which I think was what Sai was getting at).
    3
  1395. Well there you go! And there's some truth in that: certain people's recognition is worth much more to us than others'.
    3
  1396. It's wonderful. Thank you.
    3
  1397. Thanks for sharing, Matthew.
    3
  1398. I'm glad you found the episode helpful.
    3
  1399. I guess there's a first for everything 😅
    3
  1400. Thanks for your support, Anjali! Much appreciated :)
    3
  1401. Easy come, easy go. The more effort is put into the process, the more permanent the solution becomes.
    3
  1402. A woman with low-esteem is like a bucket with a hole in the bottom. You'll pour more than money into such a relationship, and nothing you do will fill her up.
    3
  1403. Thanks for the love, Antwun. Sounds like we're on the same page.
    3
  1404. Check out the full discussion at https://youtu.be/aY_MP55ddvg In this clip from our long-form discussion, Alexander and I discuss the foundational myth of romantic love and its repercussions for modern relationships. Unfortunately, people are subject to leaving healthy, functional relationships when they don't meet their romantic expectations. Trading the dream for reality always involves some measure of grieving, but what remains might be better than what we thought we wanted. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: https://twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: https://stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: https://www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
    3
  1405. Thanks for the support, Winn. Keep coming back!
    3
  1406. Thanks for the love, Kenneth
    2
  1407. Thanks for watching, Vijay.
    2
  1408. I'm glad you're finding value in the channel, Sanika.
    2
  1409. Descartes had it backwards.
    2
  1410. Thanks for the feedback, Sisi. I'll see what I can do. Stay tuned.
    2
  1411. Where is this concept from?
    2
  1412. That's because relationships generally are one-sided as a net proposition. See "Men and acceptable loss".
    2
  1413. Glad you found the episode helpful, Nicolas.
    2
  1414. Compromise is two unhappy people.
    2
  1415. Consistency is very important. When you get better at inconsistency, you develop many unhelpful habits, including shame-based cycles of binging and withholding.
    2
  1416. There are no specific neurons associated with the self. If you cause enough gross damage to certain parts of the brain, the organism will die, but that's a different matter.
    2
  1417. Or maybe feelings of warmth, trust, care, and security are examples of transacted value in relationships that people prioritize and value to different degrees.
    2
  1418. I can see your point, Matthew. However, my rebuttal would be that the behaviors you mention aren't strictly "forbidden." That is: people obviously can (and do) commit them, often knowing them to be transgressive. So they've decided, on some level, that they want to spend their day at Disneyland running the risk of being (or of actually being) kicked out of Disneyland. The privilege of having a ticket implies that we are afforded the freedom of choosing whether we abide by the rules...or not. If we weren't free, the rules would be unnecessary. My argument is not that there are not consequences to breaking the rules, but that people have the freedom to choose whether to follow them or not. The "good/bad" or "right/wrong" overlay is technically unnecessary, and people will still have their "day's worth of memories" regardless of what they choose.
    2
  1419. You can definitely apply this to anything -- because anything can exist as a source of pain or suffering.
    2
  1420. Makes sense to me!
    2
  1421. I do have an Instagram account. It's @Psyc.Hacks.
    2
  1422.  @LadyRabiaAbdulHakim  Wow -- that's quite a compliment!
    2
  1423. I think it's kinda unavoidable. Much the same way that even well-meaning, caring parents will misalign with their children from time to time. The idea is to recognize how one's familial ecosystem may have shaped one as a child and to make intentional choices with respect to what to keep and what to throw away as an adult.
    2
  1424. It's true. Life would be much more boring if we knew what was coming and had to live through it anyway.
    2
  1425. I'm glad you enjoyed the video, Avi. My goal is to provide content that is true on as many levels as possible.
    2
  1426. I have an episode coming out soon called "Ignorance and intelligence" that touches on patience in the learning process. Stay tuned!
    2
  1427. Is this a quote from somewhere?
    2
  1428. Sounds like you matured relatively early, Zen. Thanks for sharing.
    2
  1429. Positive affirmations are good too! But it always starts with stopping the negative, overly critical self-talk.
    2
  1430. Both men and women can use this technique.
    2
  1431. That's right. Like I mention in "How to love without emotional attachment," it's the cat who decides what milk is good.
    2
  1432. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. It's easier than you think to get people to like you more. Unfortunately, in attempting to do so, most people are actively decreasing attraction. Don't be like most people! In this episode, I'll discuss both what this simple trick is and why it works on others. The magic is that the increase in attraction generally occurs beneath the threshold of awareness -- which means that this trick works, whether they like it or not. Watch the episode to learn more. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com #attraction #relationships #dating
    2
  1433. I did not -- but it sounds like it would be up my alley.
    2
  1434. If it were easy, the world would be a very different place. Keep at it.
    2
  1435. I'm glad to know you've found a reason to live. Thanks for sharing, Zen.
    2
  1436. By the time most people are 25, they have enough self-control to kick blind reactive attraction out of the driver's seat. I guarantee you are not halfway there with a woman just because you have good bone structure.
    2
  1437. Thanks for watching, Stephen.
    2
  1438. I can say anything when you put words in my mouth.
    2
  1439. Yeah. It's simple, but it isn't easy. However, I've never regretted doing so in my own life.
    2
  1440. That can happen. There are rides I sometimes wish I had never gotten on. I made a video on this a while back: "How to redeem the suffering of your past". You might want to check it out.
    2
  1441. I hope it works for you, Raymond.
    2
  1442. I'm not sure what "changing the classifier" means exactly, but I'm assuming this means something like re-labeling "bad" data as "good" data. If so, this can be done as well. In CBT, we call this cognitive restructuring, and it can be very useful. However, nothing trumps the "disconfirming emotional experience" that comes from having new and better experiences (especially relative to triggering stimuli or situations). Check out my episode on the topic. This new data can be more powerful and therapeutic than simply changing the way you think about something.
    2
  1443. Haha a fellow cake hoarder! I'm glad to know I'm not the only one. Thanks for sharing.
    2
  1444. Thanks for the support! It means a lot to me.
    2
  1445. I'm glad you found it helpful, HeartNSoul. Keep coming back.
    2
  1446. Unconsciousness is not a choice. Remaining unconscious where awareness is possible is.
    2
  1447. If the relationship ended with sex, you would be correct. However, men are the gatekeepers of relationships. Women controlling the courtship process is ultimately not in their benefit, as they don't offer men a place in their lives. You have to consider the endgame.
    2
  1448. Because she was married to him.
    2
  1449. Thanks for watching, J. I'm glad you're finding the channel helpful.
    2
  1450. It is difficult to maintain people's attention these days...
    2
  1451. Thanks for your support, JP!
    2
  1452. There's always an element of "the chase" in the game of attraction. When either party violates the tacit rules governing this element, either by pursuing too much or not enough, the dynamic suffers as a result.
    2
  1453. Thanks for the support, Matt!
    2
  1454. It sounds like you're describing a conscience, or (more psychoanalytically) a superego. In my first episode on the subject ("The critical inner voice") I described the critical inner voice as a kind of "negative" conscience. Like the conscience, it may be an introject of parental attitudes, but valanced in a highly negative direction.
    2
  1455. That's kinda how it is!
    2
  1456. See Merriam-Webster. Third definition.
    2
  1457. There's a card linking to the original video in the first 20 seconds of the episode, and again in the end screen. You'll also find there a link to the playlist this episode is a part of, "Effective boundary setting in relationships." Playlists are a great opportunity to take a deeper dive into circumscribed topics. Check them out!
    2
  1458. See "Love has nothing to do with relationships"
    2
  1459. Thanks for your support, Julianne.
    2
  1460.  @joycegreer9391  Love it! Thanks for sharing. :)
    2
  1461. All stories are (more or less) fictions, and no story can contain the storyteller. However, different relationships also create the possibility of different direct experiences, which will elicit different thoughts, feelings, and perceptions
    2
  1462. Despite the aphorism, money is time more than time is money.
    2
  1463. Faith and trust are functionally the same thing: belief beyond the available evidence. As such, faith needn't be religious, unless it is specifically applied to spiritual or supernatural beliefs.
    2
  1464. I made a video about the block-and-replace technique a while back. Here's a link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyMFcjlmUz4
    2
  1465. Thanks for watching. I hope to get out there one day. :)
    2
  1466. I think this is a strategy that both men and women use. You could call it "hard to get" or "cool and aloof." In general, it works better than the opposite in the game of attraction -- but its ultimate success always depends on who it's used on. "Push/pull" requires some alternation of warm approaching and cool retreating. In general, it works even better than "hard to get," though its "success" is often dearly bought and can result in trauma bonding. Most folks don't generally show respect in the way that I described in the video. If used correctly, it's a simple way to make a powerful impression on people.
    2
  1467. I have a number of episodes on the balance of attraction. You could start there.
    2
  1468. Thanks for watching, Jolly. Keep coming back!
    2
  1469. Thanks for watching, Bupe. Keep coming back.
    2
  1470. It's possible. "Judgment" doesn't have to be negative. This distortion is common in depressives: "everyone is wonderful; I alone am worthless."
    2
  1471.  @joynkindness  I agree with that last point. Attraction isn't a choice. In general, it's a better idea to build with someone with a high level of attraction than to work to elevate someone's low level of attraction.
    2
  1472. Yes -- nice guys tend to define themselves in that way: as smart, loyal, and kind. Those are their "best selling points." However, this doesn't mean that they have exclusive dominion of those traits. Some assholes are very smart; however, they just don't tend to lead with that attribute or assume that that is their most attractive trait. I think @darkknight007 picked up my point accurately.
    2
  1473. Haha I'm glad you like it!
    2
  1474. Thanks for watching, pkch62. I hope you're finding the channel useful. All the best.
    2
  1475. I have a Playlist on Spiritual topics. You might be interested.
    2
  1476. In the best of circumstances, religious folks enact their self-mastery by choosing to surrender to a Higher Power. And this can be a very good option, because to live it seems necessary to surrender to something. And if it's not to the highest Good you can conceive, it will be to something much more demeaning and undignified. However, we can only make that surrendering as fully conscious agents, which generally requires that we first take back our power from the various "masters" we've loaned it to.
    2
  1477. Well said
    2
  1478. A man with options is an attractive man. Women want what other women want.
    2
  1479. I'm glad to know it, Nicolas. Hopefully, these strategies work for you. All the best.
    2
  1480. Thanks for watching, Angel. :)
    2
  1481. Yeah I have to remind myself of this one a lot.
    2
  1482. Thanks, Keith.
    2
  1483. Thanks, Vijay. Rather than thinking about the "right" (or "best") decision at every crossroad, I think it's more effective to consider whether a decision is likely to further or obstruct our progress toward a specific goal.
    2
  1484. Some people think "more loudly" than others do (i.e., their thoughts are manifested in visible, though subtle, behaviors), and some people are more sensitive to subtle behavioral changes than others are.
    2
  1485. That's an excellent question! There are really only two ways to learn something: through light (i.e., insight, reasoning, revelation) or through pain. Most people (myself included) mostly learn through pain. And suffering through our mistakes is often an important prelude to learning how to appreciate the other way of learning. As the I Ching says, "If you want to shrink something, you must first allow it to expand."
    2
  1486. If you haven't already, you may want to check out "Dating for shared interests".
    2
  1487. I'm glad you're finding it helpful, Danielle. Keep coming back and help spread the message!
    2
  1488. The email is in my outro: psychackspodcast@gmail.com. You can also see the "About" tab for information on donations and consultations.
    2
  1489. Maybe in today's day in age. However, as I'll discuss in future episodes, it was originally the male chivalric knights who professed this doctrine and spread it across Europe.
    2
  1490. If someone does not have direct experience with personality disorders, you can tell the God's honest truth and you won't be believed.
    2
  1491. Standing up for yourself is important. You may be interested in my episodes "Bullies never have enough lunch money" and "If you've done nothing wrong, don't apologize."
    2
  1492. Thanks for watching, Sharon. There's a lot of good content already out there on attachment styles. However, if I happen to have an insight into the subject, I'll be sure to make a video.
    2
  1493. Thanks for watching, Xavi. Keep coming back.
    2
  1494. Yep -- turns out both sexes are kinda tragically superficial (though it different ways) when it comes to mate selection.
    2
  1495. Yes -- the value of a relationship is not determined by its length.
    2
  1496. Thanks for watching, Rania.
    2
  1497. I'm not sure all promiscuous women are homicidal 😅
    2
  1498. Thanks for watching, Timothy.
    2
  1499. @Cj Johnson I'll see what I can do...
    2
  1500. Haha did you watch it tho?
    2
  1501.  @nakanopey  Check out my new episode "The game of small talk." Hope it helps!
    2
  1502. Men ask that question when they're good faith actors and struggling in the dating market. It's not a very effective question, but it does make a kind of sense to ask it. The thought is that if they can learn what women want, then they can then work to provide it in exchange for sex and relationship.
    2
  1503. Oh yeah? DM me 😅
    2
  1504. Thanks for watching, Maroko. You are welcome here. :)
    2
  1505. Thanks for the love!
    2
  1506. It would be easier if you just subscribed.
    2
  1507.  @ms.harripersad8227  Yes, it's scary. But it may help you to find the necessary strength and courage within yourself.
    2
  1508. Thanks for your support, man. I've done a few episodes on Jesus's teachings. Check out "Turn the other cheek", if you haven't already.
    2
  1509. Men have no problem listing "physical attractiveness" at one of their top criteria for a partner. My point is that you rarely hear women saying the same thing, which leads some men to have distorted views of what women actually want.
    2
  1510. Thanks for watching, Cathy. Keep coming back :)
    2
  1511. Opposite action is a technique utilized in many different forms of therapy. For instance, I first heard about it in Marsha Linehan's Dialectical Behavior Therapy, which is often used to treat Borderline Personality Disorder. The underlying idea is that it's actually very difficult to change emotions directly. So pretty much every therapy approaches changing emotions indirectly, but altering either thinking or behavior (or both).
    2
  1512. What do they say? The way to a man's heart is through his stomach? 😅
    2
  1513. Scarcity creates value. And value constitutes power in the mind of the valuer.
    2
  1514. Sure -- Psyche was a Greek concept for the invisible, animating principle of man, and was discussed at length by the philosophers of the time. Modern psychology is a chimera of science, philosophy, and religion.
    2
  1515. You're welcome, from Napa, California. Thanks for the love, Nashwan.
    2
  1516. Absolutely. So if it's going to take a while, you might as well get started. Check out "It will never be easier than it is today".
    2
  1517. I'm touched, Paul. Thank you for the support!
    2
  1518. Thanks for watching, Ali. Keep coming back.
    2
  1519. Thanks for the love, Aden. Glad to know you're benefitting from the channel.
    2
  1520. And energy.
    2
  1521. Thanks, Jane. Keep coming back!
    2
  1522. Sounds like a plan there at the end, tho.
    2
  1523. Yes. Wanting to be liked is not a likable quality.
    2
  1524. From a Stoic perspective, both your health and your relations are material things. They exist outside the domain of your control, and they will all have to be surrendered eventually. Of course, it's much easier to practice indifference with respect your property (though many people struggle with that) than to your health or family. However, the difference between the two categories is only one of degree.
    2
  1525. Thanks for watching, Olivia. Keep coming back!
    2
  1526. I'm glad you found the videos useful, Peter. Feel free to share them with others who might benefit.
    2
  1527. I'm glad you understood the metaphor.
    2
  1528. If you mean "Crouching Tiger," just you wait. I have a very special episode coming in a couple of weeks.
    2
  1529. Good for you, Julianne. Not easy to do.
    2
  1530. You gotta acknowledge your victories!
    2
  1531. You must be new here.
    2
  1532. Sometimes we can desire people right out of our lives...
    2
  1533. I've explained in other comments that this strategy doesn't work in certain situations where you can't completely avoid the other person (i.e., co-workers, co-parenting, etc.). In these cases, it's a good idea to reduce contact as much as possible, and to communicate only when necessary on the subject of shared responsibilities.
    2
  1534. Haha. Thoughts aren't private! In any case, I'm glad you found it helpful, Joshua.
    2
  1535. Welcome, Angel. I hope you enjoy the channel.
    2
  1536. I have both of those topics on my list already 😅 Stay tuned...
    2
  1537. So...is building meaningful relationships and having genuine curiosity what you want out of life?
    2
  1538. Excellent
    2
  1539. I'm glad you found the episode helpful, Kel.
    2
  1540. Many flowers bloom in Fibonacci patterns. No one thinks a rose is conscious.
    2
  1541. Thanks for the support, Jason!
    2
  1542. That is certainly possible. It's a common issue with co-dependents.
    2
  1543. Well said, Yonis. I suppose in a perfect world this wouldn't be an issue. But people are people...
    2
  1544. Haha yeah -- there's a lot of interaction between the mind and the body. It's hard to know where one ends and the other begins.
    2
  1545. Thanks for the love, Kacper. Keep coming back and help spread the message!
    2
  1546. You got it.
    2
  1547. As always, I appreciate your support, Vijay.
    2
  1548. Thanks, Marcelo. I'm glad you're enjoying the content.
    2
  1549. Thanks for your continued support, Zen.
    2
  1550. Thanks for watching. :)
    2
  1551. Sounds to me that doing the right thing in accordance with ethical law is virtue. The most enduring tragedies pit love against virtue, and force the protagonist to writhe for five acts.
    2
  1552.  @modickens1272  Social media definitely has a corrupting potential. It seems like it can change healthy self-respect into pride (or vanity) and the possession of good things into envy (or enviability). In both cases, something beneficial is stained by insatiability.
    2
  1553. This is a very psychoanalytic approach to relationships. Psychoanalysis basically maintains that we unconsciously find ourselves in relationships with those who are likely to recapitulate our old wounding (i.e., that "feel familiar"). The idea is that we want to work out a new resolution to the traumatic relationship through a re-enactment in the present. If done "correctly," this can lead to healing and closure. However, this means responding differently to the same triggering stimuli. Unfortunately, what often happens is that folks are wounded again in almost precisely the same way as they were before.
    2
  1554. The most significant growth in my life has historically come in the wake of a failed relationship.
    2
  1555.  @hannahberlinpetry450  That's a good reframe. I hope to release an episode on the subject of failure in the coming weeks. Stay tuned.
    2
  1556. Hypergamy only benefits women if men share their wealth and status. And without women, few men would be motivated to accumulate that wealth and status.
    2
  1557. Help spread the word 😅 However, I take pleasure in the process and am grateful that the videos have already helped those who have benefitted.
    2
  1558. Let me know how it goes!
    2
  1559.  @senaneminli6875  Do you have a citation on that? Research indicates that traits like confidence, dominance, and physical strength are attractive, but I've never seen data on aggressiveness correlating with attraction.
    2
  1560. Nice to hear from you, Zen.
    2
  1561. Scarcity drives value.
    2
  1562. Hoping a relationship will improve when nothing else has worked by sticking around is lunacy. Taking yourself out of such a situation is an exercise in self-respect.
    2
  1563. I'm glad you're finding the channel useful, gm. Keep coming back.
    2
  1564. I think you're choking on that red pill, buddy. Keep swallowing.
    2
  1565. If you can only see one set of patterns, then you must be very evolved, indeed.
    2
  1566. Thanks for your support, man.
    2
  1567. I appreciate your support, Vijay.
    2
  1568. But you don't relate to yourself as nothing but a bunch of biochemical molecules that are acting together for survival, do you? That couldn't explain why you felt it necessary to leave this comment, for example.
    2
  1569. Thanks, Shaun. Keep coming back.
    2
  1570. Thanks for your support, man.
    2
  1571. Thanks for the feedback, Vijay. Keep coming back.
    2
  1572. Thanks for watching, Lais. Keep coming back. :)
    2
  1573. Relationships are the media through which value is transacted. It is what it is.
    2
  1574. Glad to know you're a fan.
    2
  1575. I was working on a book last year, but put it to the side for various reasons. I hope that I can resume my work on it in the near future. Stay tuned.
    2
  1576. #sorrynotsorry
    2
  1577. That is a fantastic book.
    2
  1578. Yep. Love is not based on attraction. That is something different. And the other things you mention or allude to -- warmth, appreciation, commitment (bond), attitude -- are transacted values. If they were the negotiated expectation (explicitly or otherwise) in the relationship, and they go missing for too long (say, by being cold, dismissive, disloyal, and contemptuous), someone is looking for the door. This person is going to feel "cheated" (on), which is a sentiment that is completely alien to love. Ultimately, we know love and relationship are independent because everyone knows someone in a relationship with someone they don't love, and everyone knows someone who loves someone they're not in a relationship with. If they coexist, it's a happy (and rare) coincidence.
    2
  1579. Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com. Today I'm going to be talking about one of my all-time favorite pieces of psychological research, an article entitled "Attractive women want it all" (see link below). When presented with an extensive list of potential partner attributes, women ranked as most attractive by a panel of men expressed an interest in every attribute on the list. They literally wanted every single thing. However, they apparently didn't want every single thing equally. I'll discuss the upshot of this research with respect to male dating strategy. "Attractive women want it all": https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/147470490800600116 Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com
    2
  1580. Thanks for your support, Stephen. Keep coming back.
    2
  1581. Personality is (like most of our constructs) a product of circular reasoning. It "explains" very little about individual behavior, and is more properly understood as a descriptive system. What's more, drawing a line between the "explainable" and "unexplainable" aspects of behavior (and arguing that only the "explainable" aspect is "caused" by personality) is completely conceptual (and very arbitrary); it doesn't indicate an difference in qualia between the two categories. By analogue, the explicable phenomena are just as much caused by God than the inexplicable, because those categories only exist in our minds (not reality).
    2
  1582. If you haven't already, you may want to check out "Women want it all".
    2
  1583. Or, between the two of them, men get a complete relationship.
    2
  1584. Thanks for watching!
    2
  1585. He's a handsome guy, so I'll allow it.
    2
  1586. It has to do when women reach the peak of their physical attractiveness. Women "bloom" at different times.
    2
  1587. Great -- see if it works for you. Always a good idea to trust, but verify.
    2
  1588. "People want what other people want"
    2
  1589. Haha they were something else.
    2
  1590. Thanks for the support!
    2
  1591. Many people have had that experience. It doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you. In fact, you probably "wanted to want" the other person back. That's why I call this a "fundamental law." It supersedes our intentions to the contrary, and may even been programmed into our neurobiology (like logic).
    2
  1592. Thanks for watching, Rick. Keep coming back.
    2
  1593. Welcome, Sondra!
    2
  1594. Thanks for the feedback, Lisa!
    2
  1595. Full service.
    2
  1596.  @applesnicolle5144  Don't believe everything that you hear...
    2
  1597. Thanks for watching, Walladah.
    2
  1598. Words can be extremely powerful. Learning to use the force of the word to your advantage is an essential skill.
    2
  1599. Thanks for watching, Dianna. I hope you and your followers find the content useful. :)
    2
  1600. Thanks for listening. I hope you find the channel useful!
    2
  1601. Glad to hear it, Jolly!
    2
  1602. I used to think the same way: that i needed a woman to "match" me. Then I realized that I can have high-quality, intellectual conversations with men, and get from women what I couldn't get elsewhere. Made things a lot easier.
    2
  1603. That's a complicated question. Do religions "invent" their beliefs? In some ways, yes. Their rites and their stories are cultural artifacts from a specific time and place. And in some ways, no. Their rites and their stories must speak to some underlying, primitive human drive. Otherwise they wouldn't find purchase in the collective consciousness of the adherents. So the dynamics in the Tristan and Isolde myth must have pre-dated the myth itself. My understanding is that tragedy is nothing new. But what was novel about the Tristan and Isolde myth was that the tragedy was precipitated by romantic love (as opposed to fate or malice or a "tragic flaw" in the characters). It's not that they loved each other and suffered a tragedy; it's that they suffered a tragedy because they loved each other. That's the new part. If you're aware of a specific myth of romantic tragedy from another culture that pre-dates the 12th Century, I would very much like to know it.
    2
  1604.  @saltpepper7525  It's an honest question. There may very well be such myths, but I'm afraid I'm not aware of them. The best books on the subject are De Rougemont's "Love in the western world" (cited in my episode "The origin of romance") and Johnson's "We," which explored the Tristan and Isolde myth in depth.
    2
  1605. I'm glad it helped you!
    2
  1606. I agree. To me, the beach and the mountains are both good -- just different.
    2
  1607.  @maria-sinverguenza  Thanks for watching, DL!
    2
  1608. I'm glad you're enjoying the channel, Mayimelle :)
    2
  1609. Thanks for watching, Tysha. Keep coming back.
    2
  1610. No, men treat women the way women treat money.
    2
  1611. That might not have been the wrong decision. Never fight to keep someone in your life.
    2
  1612. Well said.
    2
  1613. You gotta fight that good fight.
    2
  1614. Stay tuned...
    2
  1615. That's very well said, Bimy. Thanks for sharing. May you continue to experience the benefits of your good work.
    2
  1616. A good wish for us all, and one that I'm trying to implement in my own life.
    2
  1617. Did you actually watch the episode? The point of the question is not to seek information. It is not an honest question. It is an attempt to shame men for their sexual interest.
    2
  1618. Adding detail goes a long way. It not only shows that we were paying attention, but that we have the discerning to identify what was particularly impressive/effective/extraordinary about the behavior.
    2
  1619. Without women there would be population collapse, my dude.
    2
  1620. Thanks for watching, Arjun.
    2
  1621. Thanks for watching, MM. Keep coming back!
    2
  1622. Thanks for sharing, Zen. I agree. There's little use in getting angry over that which cannot be restored.
    2
  1623. Thanks for watching, Rania!
    2
  1624. Yes, competition can make people uncomfortable. This is why today everyone gets a participation trophy.
    2
  1625. Thanks, Peggy. Keep coming back!
    2
  1626. Thanks for the love, Daniel
    2
  1627. This would be the first I've heard of that particular modality. 😅
    2
  1628. Glad you liked it, Victor. Keep coming back.
    2
  1629. Time to level up your movie watching! 😅
    2
  1630. Thanks for the support, George! Glad you liked it.
    2
  1631. Thanks, Donna. Help spread the word!
    2
  1632.  @PharmacyTechLabs  We can and should exercise our discernment with respect to which paths will further (and which will obstruct) our goals. However, these paths change depending on our specific goals. That's why I argue that no path is inherently right or wrong.
    2
  1633. I love Zen teachings. Simplicity is a sign of mastery. Thanks for watching, Rick.
    2
  1634. Thanks for the kind words, Alexander. I hope you find the content useful. :)
    2
  1635. That's certainly one way to get what you want from people. However, the price of manipulation is constant vigilance. On some level, you understand that the people in your life wouldn't be there otherwise -- so you have to continually watch for signs that your "power" is wearing off. Strategies of control generally require a good deal of energy and effort. And this energy and effort might be more profitably employed to other ends.
    2
  1636. I think all of our attention spans have shortened over the past several years. But "leave 'em wanting more" is a tactic as old as show business itself.
    2
  1637. Thanks for watching, Dena. Keep coming back!
    2
  1638. I know something of his message, but haven't actually read that one. Though (true story) someone once mistook me for Tolle in a supermarket.
    2
  1639. Ignorance is the primary source of all the unnecessary human suffering on this planet. It represents an opportunity for growth (which is beneficial), but (in and of itself) it is a liability. The argument has been made that the lower animals, which appear ignorant of their own mortalities, suffer less than humans, as a result. And there may be some truth to that. However, humans cannot completely divest themselves of this knowledge once attained and return to a state of "natural" ignorance. Consequently, it seems that humans are "doomed" to some degree of knowledge (and a great deal of ignorance). And since we can't move backwards into complete ignorance, it's a better move to strive forward toward complete knowledge.
    2
  1640.  @XieYali  Haha that's not really my forte. Good luck though!
    2
  1641. Nope. Even casual sexual relationships have become increasingly uncommon.
    2
  1642. Thanks for the love, Samir. I hope you'll keep coming back to the channel.
    2
  1643. I thought you'd appreciate this one :)
    2
  1644. Well said.
    2
  1645. That's right. If you haven't done so already, check out my episode "How to get what you want in life" for more information.
    2
  1646. Then you're wise beyond your years 😅 Thanks for sharing.
    2
  1647. Thanks for watching, Galya. Keep coming back!
    2
  1648. Thanks for the love, Stravagantares. Keep coming back!
    2
  1649. Thanks for the support, Lee. Feel free to pass them along to anyone you feel would benefit.
    2
  1650. Thanks for the love, John. I hope you find the channel useful. Keep coming back.
    2
  1651. I'm glad you liked it. Good luck with your work on narcissistic abuse. Education is a step in the path of healing.
    2
  1652. That's a great attitude, Zen. The young folks in this country could pay attention.
    2
  1653. If you haven't already, you may want to check out my episodes "Don't feel guilty" and "Redeeming the suffering of your past." Hope they help.
    2
  1654. Not really. The point is from women's perspective there are fewer good men, and the video discusses that perception.
    2
  1655. Thanks for the love, Diahann. I hope you'll keep coming back to the channel.
    2
  1656. The pilot is the pilot the whole flight.
    2
  1657. I'm glad you're enjoying the short format, Maverick. I try to give people good return on their investment of time.
    2
  1658. Absolutely.
    2
  1659. In certain cases, you're right. It's not good for a parent to withdraw from the life of a dependent child, for instance. But I don't agree that anyone has an obligation to maintain a relationship with an abusive family member. "They're family" should never be used to justify behavior that we wouldn't tolerate in others.
    2
  1660. It's hard to overcome perfectionism, but it's definitely worth doing.
    2
  1661. Value is only creatted in transaction. Until the "bargain" is reached, the value doesn't exist, as it is pure potential. A good that cannot be transacted is effectively valueless. Relationships are the medium through which value is transacted. This requires agency, so -- technically -- you cannot have a relationship with the air, or the sun, or the universe. What you do or don't do has nothing to do with whether the sun will shine tomorrow. This is why the shining of the sun is an act of love. Not a big fan of unconditional love. And it's a mistake to assume that you get it from your parents. See "The truth about unconditional love".
    2
  1662. Keep flexing, my brother
    2
  1663. I'm not arguing that folks change their emotions for another person. That would probably be impossible to do anyway. However, I am advocating for more effective behavioral responses to those feelings. When you adopt a professional role at work, I doubt you feel as though you are "self-gaslighting." While you likely feel bored or irritated or panicked from time to time, you understand that acting from the place of such emotions may jeopardize your position. To the extent that you value the job, you work to keep those responses in check. The same holds true for romantic relationships. I also think that things tend to go easier for people in all kinds of relationships when they don't value their emotions too preciously. If you haven't already, you may want to check out my episode "Feelings are impersonal."
    2
  1664. I appreciate the support, Angel. I hope to devote more time to the project later this year...
    2
  1665. It seems like that is the case. I had never heard the phrase before and thought it was a sales idiom. But happy to attribute where appropriate.
    2
  1666. Thanks for your support, Jessie.
    2
  1667. This is true. I speak about this in my episode "You can only get better." Unfortunately, that also means that you can get better at the wrong thing. So it's very important to be mindful of what you do repeatedly.
    2
  1668. Glad to have you, Pooya.
    2
  1669. Thanks for sharing, Rizyrozay. The fruit of suffering is joy. I hope you pass through your current challenges successfully.
    2
  1670. That's a good one
    2
  1671. Aw shucks. Thanks for watching!
    2
  1672. You actually can't make anyone feel anything, let alone miss you.
    2
  1673. Thanks for watching, OneLove. Share it with someone you think might benefit. :)
    2
  1674. That could be it. A woman might bring up something you did years ago in a fight. So they likely expect a man would do the same, and so cede no ground.
    2
  1675. I'm a recovering perfectionist myself. Life is so much more interesting and enjoyable when you can experience what is (as opposed to simply what is "right").
    2
  1676. Thanks for the feedback, Excel. I'm glad you're finding value in the channel.
    2
  1677. I'll discuss this more in my next episode. It's probably less accurate to say that they "don't" want these things; their responses were positively correlated with these attributes, after all. This suggests that they would rather have them than not (like all the others). The takeaway is that they are not highly prioritized in mate selection.
    2
  1678. That's nice to hear. Thanks!
    2
  1679. It's a super useful technique. I use it all the time. Hope it works for you too.
    2
  1680. I've read a lot of books in my life, Thin Client. But I haven't read many good ones on the subject of anger. The best is probably "Anger" by Thich Nhat Hanh.
    2
  1681.  @leanngugi  Thanks for watching, man. Keep coming back and help spread the message.
    2
  1682. Women don't approach because it's a more advantageous bargaining posture.
    2
  1683. I really like this one myself. I'm glad you also appreciate it.
    2
  1684. Is that so? If you've come across a text that discusses humility in this context, I would like to know what it is.
    2
  1685. Thanks for the love, Gentian. Keep coming back!
    2
  1686.  @KatharinaKaschka  I love that. Thanks for sharing.
    2
  1687. The issue with that argument is twofold. In the first place, nearly every woman has given sex to a man without receiving those things in return. So the "value" of sex is not inherent; it varies wildly, depending on context. And in second place, no sex on the planet is worth the same amount as love, companionship, relationship, or partnership. The market agrees on the price; it is not unilaterally dictated by the seller.
    2
  1688. See "The part that women always leave out".
    2
  1689. That's absolutely correct. I touch on this a bit in my episode "Be afraid of your fear."
    2
  1690. The problem is that the comparison groups (i.e., depressed, anxious, "normal") were already created using the problematic diagnostic criteria. So you'll have selection bias at the heart of the study.
    2
  1691. Appreciate the assist!
    2
  1692. Thanks for the kind words, Tanya. I'm glad you're finding value in the channel.
    2
  1693. Thanks for watching, miss pepsi. Keep coming back.
    2
  1694. Thanks for the love, Andrew. May you continue to benefit and grow.
    2
  1695. Thanks for the love, Brett!
    2
  1696. Thanks for listening!
    2
  1697. "If you've done nothing wrong, don't apologize"
    2
  1698. Thanks for watching, Little Rose.
    2
  1699. That's certainly true. Most of us seem to have a slightly elevated conception of our value, and some much more than that. I guess my point here is that, even when this is not the case, recognition and appreciation can't reliably be expected.
    2
  1700.  @cr4228  I agree. Striving for outcome independence is the ideal.
    2
  1701. Thanks for the love, Tyrone!
    1
  1702. Thanks for the support, Chris!
    1
  1703. Thanks for listening, UC. Keep coming back!
    1
  1704. Thanks for the love, Arthur!
    1
  1705. Thanks for your help, Ed.
    1
  1706.  @OilCanHarry2U  Thanks, Gordon. I'll look it up!
    1
  1707.  @cleopatrajones7096  I'll look it up on my own. Thanks for letting me know!
    1
  1708. A signal of interest is very far from a proposition.
    1
  1709. Love has nothing to do with relationships. I have an episode on the topic coming out soon.
    1
  1710. Are you asking whether cultural norms "guide" people in their choices or "create" people in their image? I'm not exactly sure what you mean by "social theories."
    1
  1711. Thanks, Jude!
    1
  1712. I'm not familiar, but "Needle in the hay" is like the musical poster child for depression.
    1
  1713. You've never had a one-night stand? Or told a guy you liked you want to "wait"?
    1
  1714. That might be the one domain in which my saying doesn't hold true 😅
    1
  1715. There are certain situations (i.e., co-parenting with an ex or working with a particular colleague) where fully removing yourself from the situation isn't really possible or practical. These require a bit more tact or a larger structural change.
    1
  1716. I would argue that it's the work to keep the attraction alive throughout the duration of the relationship. If it fades, then what remains is merely duty and obligation.
    1
  1717. No. That's Disney.
    1
  1718. Thanks for the support, Shanti!
    1
  1719. Thanks for watching, Daddyank3e. Keep coming back.
    1
  1720. It's important to get help if you need it. The average time a person deals with a mental health issue before contacting a therapist in America is 10 years. I made an episode on this, called "Suffering is expensive."
    1
  1721. I'm glad you liked it. :)
    1
  1722. Hi Anmbios. If you have an idea for a video, please consider sponsoring an episode. You'll find more information in the "About" tab.
    1
  1723. That's probably true. It's akin to what Freud believed to be the ultimate triumph in the game of love: to transform indifference into love.
    1
  1724. Thanks, Donna. I appreciate your support!
    1
  1725. It's possible. Women generally enjoy plausible deniability.
    1
  1726. Thanks for the love, Damien!
    1
  1727. That's an interesting way of looking at it...
    1
  1728. There's some truth here: individual attraction is always subjective. So you can't really know beforehand whether you will be somebody's "type." That said, some attributes are reliably associated with attractiveness on the population level. The degree to which a person accords with those attributes I call that person's "normalized sexual marketplace value." However, a person's actual sexual marketplace value is determined the same way all actual value is determined: by the individual agents of the transaction.
    1
  1729. I'm not. And that's because men can get jealous if their woman had one partner before them. This isn't an episode on female promiscuity.
    1
  1730. Do you know of a city with multiple, competing fire departments?
    1
  1731. Thanks for the love, Pratip!
    1
  1732. Sometimes people come back "to" you -- though not necessarily "for" you. And this can sometimes take years. In such cases, the return is typically a moot point.
    1
  1733. What do they say is the oldest profession?
    1
  1734. Agreed. Peace is priceless, because it cannot be bought.
    1
  1735. Women often feel safest with the most dangerous man in the room.
    1
  1736. Thanks, Chevy!
    1
  1737. Thanks for the feedback, Terence. I hope you keep watching and that the content serves you well.
    1
  1738. Let me know how that goes.
    1
  1739. Send me a DM
    1
  1740. Oh I never really believed her. But there are worse ways of being turned down.
    1
  1741. Thanks for the love, Dom!
    1
  1742. Thanks for watching, Margaux :)
    1
  1743. Absolutely. This is part of Jesus's teaching to not let the left hand know what the right hand is doing.
    1
  1744. Thanks for the support!
    1
  1745. Most people are adolescents emotionally, irrespective of their chronological age. Understand this and the world starts to make more sense.
    1
  1746. Thanks for watching, Dana. Keep coming back. :)
    1
  1747. Yeah -- it's not really possible to do this with someone that, for whatever reason, you cannot avoid entirely. This could be an ex with whom you need to co-parent children, or a colleague with whom you've been assigned to work. There's a different strategy you can use here. I'll try to make a video about it soon.
    1
  1748. Haha. It's kinda like that.
    1
  1749. Thanks for the love, Rosslyn!
    1
  1750. Thanks for watching, Anjali. Keep coming back.
    1
  1751. Very important
    1
  1752. You mean, your ex was subject to these kinds of thought cascades? It's very difficult to be in a relationship with someone who hasn't yet learned how to regulate his or her emotions.
    1
  1753.  @lydiam9323  Sounds like there may be a personality disturbance in play. You may consider researching "narcissistic abuse." It could help to make sense of your situation. @thelittleshaman has some excellent content on this subject.
    1
  1754. It's true that there are many concerning developments and malevolent forces at work in the world. This is as true now as it has likely ever been. The trick is to not give into the fear. In nearly every case, the belligerent who initiates a conflict justifies doing so by arguing that it was necessary to protect their own safety. See my forthcoming episode "Evil and the concept of the game."
    1
  1755. Thanks for watching, Kuttu. I'll keep making them, and you can keep watching them 😅
    1
  1756. Thanks for sharing, Shweta. May you continue to blossom...
    1
  1757. Thanks! I really appreciate your support. All the best.
    1
  1758. I'll shoot for 12 next time.
    1
  1759. Hm. I haven't heard of that one. I'll look into it. Thanks for the recommendation!
    1
  1760. Are you a woman?
    1
  1761. Thanks for watching. Keep coming back :)
    1
  1762. Thanks for sharing, Excel. I'm doing my best. :)
    1
  1763. Yep -- I made an episode on that called "The origin of romance." However, even among the elites, romance dominated in the knights , not the kings . The knights chose women married to more powerful men to idealize. It was their way of securing access to desirable women (without getting killed). Romance morphed a good deal after it was popularized; however, the fundamental principle continues to hold true.
    1
  1764. Thanks for the support!
    1
  1765. Hm. That depends on a lot of things, like: who you attacked, why you attacked, and how badly you attacked? In some cases, it's appropriate to apologize; in others, it's better to just keep moving forward. Without more information, I wouldn't be able to say.
    1
  1766.  @fionad6338  This can be difficult too. You might want to check out my episode "Don't feel guilty."
    1
  1767. That's very sweet, Nicky. Thanks for subscribing. I hope you find the channel helpful. I love connecting with folks in different parts of the world. Greetings from Napa, California!
    1
  1768. I like to read philosophy and wisdom literature. Texts in the latter category are generally associated with specific religious traditions (Christianity: The imitation of Christ; Hinduism: Bhagavad Gita; Zen Buddhism: Everyday Zen), and the Stoics (Epictetus, Seneca, Marcus Aurelius) are my go-to philosophers.
    1
  1769. Thanks for watching, Shania.
    1
  1770. The fact is that the power to do harm is very often the same as the power to do good. The power is the power: just applied to different ends. In medical science, for instance, the power to save a life is often inseparable from the power to kill. Chemotherapy saves the human by killing the cancer. A treatment that does not do real harm to the disease process is most likely worthless.
    1
  1771. Thanks for the support!
    1
  1772. I talk about this as "killing the hope," and it's an important emotional survival skill.
    1
  1773. A lot of self-destructive behavior is a dysfunctional attempt to escape emotional pain. However, in many cases, part of that pain is constituted by a negative self-view that is ashamed of its very existence. So the two are often connected.
    1
  1774. Haven't read that one, but the title is obviously intriguing.
    1
  1775. Who says I haven't found anything worthwhile?
    1
  1776. It would be a short video :) Don't call, write, or text.
    1
  1777. Separation is like death. It isn't horrible when it comes at the right time.
    1
  1778. Easy. For most people, the stick and the carrot are internalized. A small force can police a large populace when most of the people police themselves with the same rules.
    1
  1779. Welcome, Jackie! I hope you find the channel useful.
    1
  1780. I'm glad you found it helpful, Momo. Keep coming back and help spread the message!
    1
  1781. Fair enough.
    1
  1782. Thanks for your feedback, Salt Pepper. I hope you're getting some value from the channel.
    1
  1783.  @tygon13  I disagree. Employers (like women) don't sort for disagreeableness and selfishness. Employees (and men) are chosen for other reasons (e.g., competence, confidence, experience, etc.). Just being an asshole provides no real value to anyone, as plenty of assholes are incompetent and inexperienced (though they tend to be confident).
    1
  1784. I appreciate it, Ben.
    1
  1785. If we could, I'm sure the psychiatrists would be very pleased to be able to say so. So either they are being very modest, or (as the DSM indicates) there are no laboratory tests that can confirm or disconfirm the presence of schizophrenia.
    1
  1786. Thanks for the love, Pooya.
    1
  1787. Yeah -- this happens. It's one of the ways that women shoot themselves in the foot. I touch on this in my episode "Why the people you like don't like you back".
    1
  1788. Thanks for the love, Daniel!
    1
  1789. Thanks for the support!
    1
  1790. And they both gain equally?
    1
  1791. Thanks for the love, Adrianne. I'm glad you're enjoying the channel. :)
    1
  1792. No. Withdrawing good love is always more powerful than poisoning your affection. Among other things, anger is a sign that you don't know how to get what you want in any other way.
    1
  1793. Sounds like you're talking about conscience or intuition. You may want to check out my episode "A surprising insight from Harry Potter," in which I discuss this phenomenon. In general, it's hard to hear the voice when your head is full of someone else's thoughts.
    1
  1794. Thanks for your support, Sameer!
    1
  1795. Cats want what other cats want. And a lovely cat drinking your milk immediately makes your milk more attractive. This is the principle behind celebrity endorsements.
    1
  1796. That's a good approach to life. I don't think it's possible in all circumstances to identify a positive component, and sometimes there is no lesson to be gleaned, but it's often the case that we can find something valuable in our experience, if we choose to look.
    1
  1797. Is that what I said?
    1
  1798. It's not really possible to do this if you are living together. I address this issue in my update video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0zwGeEYgkyk
    1
  1799. I actually talk about this in my upcoming book
    1
  1800. Wow -- my first super thanks! Thanks, Donna :)
    1
  1801. Thanks, Paul!
    1
  1802. 😅
    1
  1803. Thanks, Karl!
    1
  1804. Really? Where is that written?
    1
  1805. Thanks for the love, Sweet Water. I hope you'll keep coming back to the channel.
    1
  1806. It's been requested by many.
    1
  1807. Working on it
    1
  1808. A panic attack is an out-of-control positive feedback loop, accelerated by our attention and judgments. Anything you can do to slow down the process and relax will likely prove helpful.
    1
  1809. "The only thing that we learn from history is that we learn nothing from history." - Georg Hegel
    1
  1810. Where there is anger, there is not yet understanding.
    1
  1811. This is not incorrect
    1
  1812. Thanks, Rich. It really is the "secret" pathway into a high-value relationship for a woman, as it allows her to bypass almost all of her intrasexual competition.
    1
  1813. Thanks for the support, S!
    1
  1814. Yes, that definitely plays a part.
    1
  1815. Love as emotion is the lowest form of love. It's noun love. Love in its highest form is an adverb. It's a quality of being. See: "Love is an adverb".
    1
  1816. Welcome! I hope you enjoy the channel.
    1
  1817. Thanks for the love, Dima. You're helping me do the work. All the best.
    1
  1818. See my episode "How to love without emotional attachment".
    1
  1819. Our time here is precious...
    1
  1820. Thanks for the support!
    1
  1821. That's right -- sexual marketplace forces drive development of certain attributes at the expense of others.
    1
  1822. Thanks for the feedback, Kate. I'm happy to know you appreciate the content.
    1
  1823. Good luck with that.
    1
  1824. Thanks for your support, Terry. Much appreciated.
    1
  1825. Thank you, sir.
    1
  1826. Thanks for the support!
    1
  1827. Thanks for your continued support, Arjun.
    1
  1828. No one is going to risk their life for no reason, let alone to be a dork. People talk loudly until it comes time to put some money on the felt.
    1
  1829. That's the whole point of the channel. Glad to hear that it's working 😅
    1
  1830. Of course: you can't want someone into wanting you. Trying harder only exacerbates the problem.
    1
  1831.  @SisiTsoi  It's certainly been a popular one, hasn't it? I think I'll do a follow-up video at 100,000 views.
    1
  1832. I'm glad you like them, Ragini. Thank for watching.
    1
  1833. Hi Galya. If you have an idea of a video, please consider sponsoring an episode. You'll find more information in the "About" tab.
    1
  1834. Good question. You were able to marvel at these players because (a) you were sufficiently different from them to prevent the formation of any envy or jealousy, and (b) you weren't competent enough to really understand what they were doing. A marvel is an unexplained mystery, which suggests you could only appreciate what they did in a general, awe-inspired sort of way. There's nothing wrong with that, of course. However, it means that you probably couldn't recognize what was brilliant about their brilliance.
    1
  1835. Thanks for the love!
    1
  1836. I'm not really sure we can think of suicide as taking the self away from the self, as that would suggest (a) that some self exists beyond death, and (b) that this is a partial self. If a the self exists beyond death, why would some parts persist and others disappear?
    1
  1837. Thanks for watching, Cassou. I'm glad you found it helpful.
    1
  1838. I'm glad you're enjoying the channel, Pila. Help spread the message!
    1
  1839. I'm glad to hear they've been helping you.
    1
  1840. I'm glad you liked it. :) I think the topic is pretty fascinating myself.
    1
  1841. Thanks for watching, LA!
    1
  1842. It's not so much that I don't have a moral compass, as I can't assume that my moral compass is oriented like anyone else's. Right and wrong decisions don't inherently exist, but certain decisions can be right or wrong (or effective or ineffective) relative to specific goals, in specific circumstances. There are certainly situations where kindness is not the right decision, or sacrificing for your children can even produce harm. If your goal is to honor the sanctity of marriage, then turning down the married man is the right decision -- but it obviously isn't the right decision for everyone, as infidelity happens every day. And this is not necessarily because other folks actively dishonor marriage, for instance (though some do), but that they choose to prioritize a different goal in that moment of decision. The conflict between Love and Sincerity (on the one hand) and Commitment and Duty (on the other) is an old one. What's right for you, might not be right for me.
    1
  1843. Haha sounds like you're having fun!
    1
  1844. Famous last words.
    1
  1845. Thanks for watching, Robert. Keep coming back.
    1
  1846. That's right. One way of increasing the demand for whatever you're selling is to limit its supply. Diamond merchants figured that out a while ago...
    1
  1847. Thanks for watching, Picklez.
    1
  1848. If you want someone out of your life, there are ways to show them the door without losing your temper. If you can do this, you can preserve your peace and sanity at the same time.
    1
  1849. Thanks, Cassou!
    1
  1850. Thanks for watching, Dianne.
    1
  1851. Yes -- I think you can think of the bird as intuition. Intuition isn't something that modern psychology speaks much about. And when it does, it offers reductionist explanations: something like subliminal perceptions activating unconscious memories and associations.
    1
  1852. Thanks for the love, Aden.
    1
  1853. Good point.
    1
  1854. I hope to talk more about online dating in future episodes. Thanks for watching, Katharina.
    1
  1855. Who is talking about serial killers?
    1
  1856. Glad to hear the channel is helping you, Shyamali.
    1
  1857. In that case, you might want to check out my episode "Bet on yourself." Thanks for watching!
    1
  1858. Of course, some people will use these attributions intentionally to further their goals; however, this tactic only really works because the vast majority of people remain unconscious. That is, they are aware of the fundamental attribution: that our side = good, and their side = bad. What they are not aware of is that this is an error and a bias. They think they are seeing reality clearly. On the group level, unfortunately, they are probably just being manipulated.
    1
  1859.  @KatharinaKaschka  "Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." Educated does not necessarily equal intelligent. As for the legitimately intelligent folks who don't seem to think for themselves, I fear the explanation is rather banal, in most cases: they don't have time to research and critically examine the issues. So they default to proxies of trustworthiness and credibility.
    1
  1860.  @KatharinaKaschka  Hard to argue with that
    1
  1861. Thanks for watching, Donna. Keep coming back.
    1
  1862. Thanks for your support, Mark. You help make this all possible. All the best.
    1
  1863. Stay tuned!
    1
  1864. If you haven't done so already, you may want to check out my episode "Why nice guys finish last".
    1
  1865. Thanks for your support, Benjamin!
    1
  1866. The problem with that reasoning is that it makes men think that -- if only they emotionally support a woman -- she will reward him with sex. This is the core of "nice guy syndrome", and it doesn't work.
    1
  1867. Captains don't do 50/50. That's the privilege (and the responsibility) of being a captain. In my original analogy, I call this "plotting the course." If you build the boat and learn to sail it, you get to decide where it goes. Whether man or woman: captains who know where they're going and aren't pushovers don't share the decision making power democratically. That's why you should review the manifest carefully before getting on board.
    1
  1868. Thank you for the kind words. :)
    1
  1869. Many people spend their whole lives waiting in line.
    1
  1870. Thanks for the love. Keep coming back!
    1
  1871. I'm glad it was helpful to you. Thanks for the support!
    1
  1872. I've heard that before...more than once.
    1
  1873. You have a lot of good points here, Paul. Many of our desires are socially programmed, and it can be very difficult for us to understand what it is we really want. That requires honesty, insight, and open-mindedness. I hope to do an episode on this in the future. That said, the phenomenon I discuss in this video also pertains to non-socially programmed desires, such as those desires for food, sex, and rest. We are still subject to limitlessness in those desires we do genuinely want.
    1
  1874. Hm. I'm not sure about this. I've never seen a group of boys play house, or fantasize about their wedding. However, I've seen plenty of girls do this, and I don't think they were slut shamed into that play by society.
    1
  1875. Thanks for watching, Kimberly. Keep coming back.
    1
  1876. Let me know how it goes!
    1
  1877. Fantastic. Glad to hear it, An.
    1
  1878. See "Three tips for dealing with gossip".
    1
  1879. You're welcome, D7. Keep coming back!
    1
  1880. Check out my episode, "How to have effortless relationships with women".
    1
  1881. I'm sure this attitude has nothing to do with the fantastic failure rate of modern relationships.
    1
  1882. The whole thing?? Let me know how you got a hold of it.
    1
  1883. Haha whatever works!
    1
  1884. Thanks, Asim! I appreciate it
    1
  1885. We're here to ride the rides!
    1
  1886. There is little point in focusing on the things you cannot change, if those you can are neglected, as a result.
    1
  1887. Thanks for the love, man.
    1
  1888. Thanks for watching, Sanika.
    1
  1889. "A good craftsman has one scar." The most expensive lessons are often the ones we most remember.
    1
  1890. Thanks, Wandile. If you haven't already, you may want to check out my playlist "The truth about romance" for more content on this topic. Enjoy.
    1
  1891. I imagine that can happen. It typically takes time and effort for people to "update their browsers." However, in my experience, it was the very attractive women who had never passed through a duckling stage who were the most insecure of all. On some level, they understand that they've put a lot of eggs in the basket of physical attractiveness, and can be extremely insecure about any signs of aging or inattention...
    1
  1892. Thanks for the support, Steve. Much appreciated.
    1
  1893. Glad you enjoyed it!
    1
  1894. When I use the term "sexual relationships", I guarantee that women understand exactly what I'm talking about.
    1
  1895. Thanks, Alicia! I appreciate your support. :)
    1
  1896. Not every episode is for everyone.
    1
  1897. A species is functionally extinct not when all of its individual members are dead, but when (for whatever reason) the members can no longer reproduce successfully. If no new children were born for 50 years, the human race would be functionally extinct, as there would no longer be any members that could successfully reproduce. The fact that some folks would live a few years longer is irrelevant to the survival of humanity and civilization.
    1
  1898. Men without standards already suffer the consequences. Just look at how their lives so often turn out. Creating and applying standards is the first step for men in building a life worth living.
    1
  1899. Thanks for listening, Charles. I hope you find the content useful.
    1
  1900. Sounds like you decided to pick your battles (which is another useful skill to develop).
    1
  1901. Well, stoicism says differently. Though to always get what we want, we apparently do have to radically change how we want. Stay tuned.
    1
  1902. Thanks for the love, Khum. Keep coming back.
    1
  1903. Thanks for the love, Francisco. Your support keeps me going
    1
  1904. I know what I'm saying, but I'm not really sure what you're hearing. If you're interested, you might want to check out "Money is incentivized altruism".
    1
  1905. I've come to the same conclusion.
    1
  1906. I hope it works for you!
    1
  1907. Watch "The superficiality of desire".
    1
  1908. Haha thanks, Ella. Keep coming back and help spread the message!
    1
  1909. It can, indeed.
    1
  1910. A man who even becomes emotionally invested in another woman is a threat to a woman, as it suggests that his resources (time, attention, money) might be diverted away from her. Limiting men's access to other sexual partners is the primary means by which women secure those resources.
    1
  1911. Yeah -- I made an episode on that: "Loyalty means different things to men and women".
    1
  1912. Hm. Approaching women can be nerve-wracking, but it is a skill that you can learn. If you haven't already, you might want to check out my video "Be afraid of your fear."
    1
  1913. Thanks for listening, Thushari. I hope you find the content helpful. Keep coming back!
    1
  1914. Romance is the tragedy. Not my culture.
    1
  1915. If you can love your parents without attachment, you can love a mate without the same.
    1
  1916. The point is that most men include some measure of attractiveness (hot, cute, beautiful) among their criteria for a woman. Women are less likely to do the same, which gives men a skewed idea of what women are looking for.
    1
  1917. Thanks for the kind words, Dianna. :)
    1
  1918. Thanks for the love, Edmar!
    1
  1919. Excellent quote. Thanks for sharing.
    1
  1920. Nice guys rarely make it to the top 1%.
    1
  1921. I'm glad you liked it! :)
    1
  1922. You might want to check out my episode "How to confront a friend." The example given is not a serious as self-destructive addiction, but the principle remains the same.
    1
  1923. Well said
    1
  1924. Absolutely. The fact of the matter is that most folks can have fulfilling romantic relationships with many different people. One is not necessarily "better" than any other, but choosing one will move your life in a specific direction and open yourself to experiences you likely wouldn't otherwise have had.
    1
  1925. "Love has nothing to do with relationships". That's what happens when you just listen to one episode and decide to rant.
    1
  1926. Seduction is the ability to direct sexual interest, my dude. You are the product of your father's ability to seduce your mother.
    1
  1927. Actually, a 5-to-1 ratio isn't "good" -- it's apparently the bare minimum in a tolerable relationship. I discuss this ratio in "The imbalance of pain and pleasure."
    1
  1928. Business relationships exist on a social continuum with family, friend, and intimate relationships. You're taking a limited view of benefit. To one person, an old man offers the opportunity to practice kindness. To another, a loving partner offers nothing that they want. The first benefits; the second doesn't -- and he becomes increasingly irrelevant in the perception of the other.
    1
  1929. Keep your head up.
    1
  1930. Thanks for watching, Shahad. Keep coming back!
    1
  1931. Thanks for watching, Gemma. I'll see what I can do :)
    1
  1932. Thanks for watching, Inga. I hope you'll keep coming back to the channel.
    1
  1933. Glad to hear it, Donna. :)
    1
  1934. Thanks for the love, Asim!
    1
  1935. Appreciate it, Joey!
    1
  1936. Oop! Invoking the existence of the self to explain what good and bad are? Now you can't prove your point unless you can prove the existence of that entity. Pretty tall order!
    1
  1937. Hi, Silviu. Thank you for your comment. I admit that the argument advocated in the video is an oversimplification -- though, hopefully, an oversimplification capable of facilitating a new perspective on an old problem. Therapy is a little like dating. Generally, you'll need to spend some time and money before you come across a "good fit." However, if that time and money is factored into the calculations (i.e., one year and $10,000) from the outset, then these inevitable costs are unlikely to frustrate or sidetrack. I have another video on this topic, called "Don't ignore air resistance." As to your point about the expense to those with little discretionary income: there are plenty of low-to-no cost mental health treatments available. In fact, mental health treatment has never been cheaper or more available than it is today. However, I've learned from working in community health settings that lowering costs doesn't necessarily lead to higher participation or greater improvement. This is because, without some "skin in the game," people generally aren't as committed or motivated. They have a "take or leave it" attitude where there are no personal costs or consequences. The cost of therapy helps to give it value, which accelerates progress -- which can ultimately make paid treatment less expensive over the long run. How we spend our money comes down to what we value. It may, in fact, not be possible for some folks to both engage in fun activities and invest in their self-development, at the same time. However, their optionality might improve in the future if they choose wisely in the present.
    1
  1938. Ah. The "it's the same for women/ men" argument. Unfortunately, a highly ideological belief with little evidence to support it.
    1
  1939. Thanks for watching, Emily. Keep coming back!
    1
  1940. I'm glad you found it useful, Maria.
    1
  1941. Thanks for your support, Michael!
    1
  1942. Thanks for watching, Ricarda. I hope you'll keep coming back.
    1
  1943. Glad to hear it, Vanessa. :)
    1
  1944. Just because it's cliché, doesn't mean it's not true. You're seeing the problem correctly.
    1
  1945. Thanks for your help, Ayanna
    1
  1946. Hm. There is no one size fits all strategy here. So it would be hard to put into words. However, a good rule of thumb is the more forceful the "no," the "colder" you are in your approach.
    1
  1947. One needs to have many, many, many good strategies to thrive in the game of life. Because the game is so varied and complex, any one strategy (no matter how effective) won't be enough.
    1
  1948.  @ladyboss2944  That is a very interesting question. I think that the closest we've come to an answer is the great religions, which can be understood as a blueprint for navigating life successfully. My hunch is that there is no one blueprint that will always (or even generally) guarantee success across all of life's nested games. Or, if there is, it can't be apprehended. "The Tao that can be named is not the real Tao."
    1
  1949. I would say that both men and women tend to be tragically superficial in their mate selection, though about different things. I hope to do an episode on this soon.
    1
  1950. Thanks for the love, Dana :)
    1
  1951. Yes -- women are as dishonest and shallow as men are (though typically about slightly different things). That's the message, and that's the double standard. When men confess their attraction to a woman's physicality, they're "pigs" and "sexist" and "inappropriate." Perhaps fearing their own exposure, women typically don't confess their own attraction, which creates the issue that I discussed in the episode.
    1
  1952. Thanks for your support, Noel!
    1
  1953. Thanks for the support, Ty!
    1
  1954. Thanks for the love, Marek!
    1
  1955. Real intuition is amazing. The trick is to know how to recognize it. I did an episode on the subject a while back. You may want to check out "Emotions and mastery." Thanks for watching!
    1
  1956. Men want Barbie. Women want all the things Ken comes with.
    1
  1957. Thanks for watching, LaNere. Keep coming back!
    1
  1958. Thanks for watching, Derek! I hope you keep the feedback coming.
    1
  1959. I'm glad you like it, Ricarda. I can't take credit for the metaphor myself; however, it's helped me a great deal over the years.
    1
  1960. Yes. This is not a Bible study channel.
    1
  1961. I'm glad you found it useful :)
    1
  1962. Thanks for your support!
    1
  1963. Alcohol is a big one for a lot of folks. While not all drinkers experience problems, almost everyone with significant problems drinks.
    1
  1964. Thanks for watching, Salim. Keep coming back. :)
    1
  1965. Pretty much...
    1
  1966. Hm. Not sure if I have any videos on comparison yet. However, you may want to check out my episodes "Don't feel guilty" and "Redeeming the suffering of your past" for some perspectives on mistakes.
    1
  1967. That depends on how old you are. However, in general, family is not exempt from the obligation to treat you with at least as much consideration and respect as they would show to a stranger on a bus. It can be hard to create appropriate boundaries with disrespectful family members, but it can also be absolutely essential to our emotional survival.
    1
  1968. Why not pretend? You're already pretending to be you.
    1
  1969. Sociopaths don't love. You missed that part.
    1
  1970. Sounds like a learning experience for you.
    1
  1971. I think that's one way to understand heaven and hell: as states of being. This is similar to the way these concepts are treated in Zen Buddhism.
    1
  1972. That's not a bad idea. I spoke about "Love in the western world" in a recent video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aC9MRS2d9Q4), and it turned me on to the possibilities of discussing ideas inspired from other great works. Stay tuned.
    1
  1973. Thanks for the support, Robert!
    1
  1974. Stay tuned.
    1
  1975. Thanks for the kind words, Andrea. Keep coming back.
    1
  1976. You can download my free vocab builder app, "StellarGRE Vocab Flashcards", in the App and Play stores.
    1
  1977. I hope it helps you, Julia
    1
  1978. Gratitude is an excellent antidote for discontentment.
    1
  1979. Thanks for the love, Brian!
    1
  1980.  @fionad6338  Oh yes -- once children pass a certain point (generally, fully-developed adulthood), a parent is relieved of the obligation to be in that person's life "no matter what." Love may be unconditional, but relationships aren't.
    1
  1981. Thanks for watching, Aden. I hope you're enjoying the channel.
    1
  1982. Haha you would think...
    1
  1983. Of course. However, the question is, would others try to change an outcome that she had earned on her own merits?
    1
  1984. Thanks for your support, Doms. Keep coming back!
    1
  1985. Thanks for watching, Debbie. Keep coming back.
    1
  1986. Haha yeah -- that's the whole idea.
    1
  1987. I guess the Buddha was a narcissist then.
    1
  1988. I like that. Apparently it's a quote from Ratan Tata.
    1
  1989. I'm glad you found the channel, Empress. Keep coming back.
    1
  1990. Thanks for the support, Dr. Sabie. If you haven't already, you may want to check out my episode "Catastrophic thought cascades." Thanks for watching.
    1
  1991. It can't be otherwise.
    1
  1992. That's a good question. Sometimes suddenly disappearing actually is the right move. However, if you have a long-standing relationship with someone and you intend to dramatically alter the structure of that relationship, it can be beneficial to have a discussion. You can approach it as you would giving your two weeks' notice at work. You can be civil and polite, but firm. It's not a long conversation, and you're not asking for permission. You just clearly and calmly inform them that you'll be leaving the company.
    1
  1993. Hm. I haven't read a book devoted to this topic, per se. However, it's something that often comes up in the context of co-dependent relationships. So you might want to start there.
    1
  1994. Thanks, man!
    1
  1995. Serious relationship only, eh? Sounds like a blast.
    1
  1996. My dude, that is...exactly my point. It was not a fair competition. So why expect the outcome to be equal? And if the outcome must be fixed, how can the players be considered equal?
    1
  1997. Thanks for watching, Amber. Keep coming back.
    1
  1998. I didn't know who Chris Watts was until you brought him to my attention, so I'm not sure I can speak to his specific case. However, I have published an episode that speaks to keeping yourself safe from predators, who typically "groom" their victims. You may want to check out "Bullies never have enough lunch money."
    1
  1999. The economics of value transaction are not unique to capitalism. No one is a socialist in the bedroom.
    1
  2000. Thanks for sharing, Zen. And "Taraban" is a Ukrainian name.
    1
  2001.  @zsuzsadoramegyeri  Definitely not your job to teach men more attractive qualities. Sounds like a narcissistic defense against felt insecurity.
    1
  2002. Not really. In all cases, in you look carefully, you'll see that the person saying this has always already been paid.
    1
  2003. Tony Roma's doesn't think it's "sad" that their customers want ribs. This is what causes them to stay in business. A business cannot decide what to sell independent of what its customers want to buy.
    1
  2004. I hear you, gn lilu. In my experience, I generally have to learn things the hard way. Feel free to share the video with anyone you think might need to see it.
    1
  2005. Thanks for watching, S. Keep coming back.
    1
  2006. Not all relationships are loving, Natalia. In fact, it would probably be inappropriate if they were. However, at the heart of every human interaction is some kind of exchange. If you can't transact successfully, then the interaction isn't really feasible -- which could be construed as unloving.
    1
  2007.  @KatharinaKaschka  To me, the importance of "shared interests" is significantly overvalued in the dating process. Compatibility on very basic factors (introversion vs. extroversion; messy vs. clean) and shared goals (family vs. career) is much more important. I hope to do an episode on this topic soon.
    1
  2008. Thanks for the love, Doms. Keep coming back!
    1
  2009. Depends on how you look at it. Comedies end at the altar; tragedies keep going...
    1
  2010. That's right! It's the same message as "Little drummer boy." Thanks for reminding me.
    1
  2011.  @KatharinaKaschka  I have a few videos that approach expectations for different angles. If you haven't already, you may want to check out "How to love without emotional attachment," "Covert contracts," "The universe guarantees no results," "Wanting is free," and "We'll see."
    1
  2012. Thanks for sharing, Zen.
    1
  2013. Thanks for your support, man. Let's keep it moving.
    1
  2014. Thanks, Sergio!
    1
  2015. I'm honored Thank you for your support.
    1
  2016. That'll show YouTube
    1
  2017. It's a good song!
    1
  2018. Thanks for the support!
    1
  2019. What is this? A bad movie script?
    1
  2020. Thanks for watching, Callie. Keep coming back and help spread the word!
    1
  2021. Thanks for watching, Dana :)
    1
  2022. Thanks for watching, Rick.
    1
  2023. The finish line is what a man has achieved as a result of his efforts. Women are more interested in a man who has already achieved than a man who is in the process of achieving (or who doesn't even have a plan to achieve).
    1
  2024. Thanks for your support, Wayne. Much appreciated.
    1
  2025. It's interesting that you hear this episode as blaming women.
    1
  2026. Thanks for watching, Kristen :)
    1