Comments by "Dennis" (@Dennis-nc3vw) on "" video.

I just get so angry when I hear people bring up that "power imbalance" argument to vilify relationships with age gaps. When I was a teen, I was involved heavily in online communities that were mostly or exclusively populated by adults. Never ever even looking back to feel they had the slightest ability to manipulate me and make me their thrall. Actually the opposite, my stubbornness and refusal to see things their way made me many enemies. On the other hand, when I was in Middle School, I had a "friend" (same age, obviously) who utterly played me like a fiddle for his sadistic pleasure: convincing me he was being stalked by a mad scientist, tricking me into revealing my password, stealing from my locker and then framing someone else, etc. People manipulate people. Age has very little to do with it. The "power imbalance" line is just something we tell ourselves to clear our consciences before throwing someone in jail for being icky and creepy.
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A few years ago I would hate this guy for arguing what he's arguing. But now I'm so fed up with "pedo-hysteria" and infantilization of young adults in the US I can't get mad even when someone says it should be 12.
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But what is a "kid"? Legal definitions of adulthood in the modern day are obviously not based in the laws of nature, and they're not even consistent.
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10 years ago, I would have hated this guy. I still think the age of consent is young enough in the UK. But as I've gotten older and more readily bogged down by fear of being labelled a creep, all I can do is admire his courage. There is no greater burden a man can shed from his soul than the fear of being labelled a creep. I think it's child pornography laws that need real reform in society, though. At least in the US its legal to bone someone before you can trade nudes with them, and the punishment is often worse than statutory rape.
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If you want to stop the spread of pedophilia, real pedophilia, not the modern bastardization of the term, stop letting people deny biology and reduce the issue to "minors can't consent". This makes society's taboo on pedophilia seem cultural and arbitrary. But the truth is sex with pre-teen children was a serious crime even in Ancient Rome, which was a pervert's paradise.
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Stop acting like modern legal definitions of adulthood are based on the laws of nature. No one in the world genuinely believes that. If you think sex with people below a certain age is unethical, fine, but stop hiding behind the "OMG they're children" defense. For 99% of human history adulthood was somewhere between 12 and 15. That's where Bar Mitzvahs and Quincineras come from.
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18 has NOT been the age of adulthood for a long time. I don't know when it became a thing in the US, but it was likely after those consent laws you mentioned were changed. We had 13 year old captaining ships in the American Revolution and George Washington started his own surveying company at 15. Bar Mitzvahs mark you as a man at 13. Quinceneras (however you spell it) mark you as a woman at 15. In Rome you dawned the Toga of Manhood at 14.
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There's no higher faculty a man can achieve than shedding his fear of being labelled a creep.
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A stallion has the intelligence of a one year old child but we don't say a horse is being abused when its being put to stud. The facts "minors can't consent" is important but we can't ignore biology, yet that's what everyone feels entitled to do these days. After all, if you start differentiating between "natural" and "unnatural" sex, or "healthy" vs "unhealthy" relationships, its hard to keep waving your Rainbow Flag and telling us how we need to celebrate polyarmorous homosexual dog fetishists.
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John Muhleisen Definitely, but we don't live in a state of nature anymore. Life is more complicated, especially parenthood.
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@WalterLiddy People get manipulated by emotionally abusive partners who are close to their age all the time. Age has nothing to do with it. There's no other context where we act like someone has some kind of Jedi mind control powers over someone else just by being older. Teenagers are stubborn, arrogant, and ego-centric. If wanted a relationship with someone easy to manipulate I'd find and insecure older woman with a lot of emotional baggage.
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Same in America.
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But that's an immensely difficult thing to determine, and largely a matter of opinion. People would not know whether or not they were breaking the law with a system like that.
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@davidvarley1812 But if you don't view the sex you had with "men" as abuse, why would you see it sensible to throw people in jail over an age gap?
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@davidvarley1812 Why do you support a law that throws grown men in jail for sex with teenage boys, but also say the grown men who had sex with you when you were a teenager weren't abusers?
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@GiantSandles It is appropriate, but I just can't bring myself to do it.
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I don't entirely agree but the whole "power imbalance" thing really burns me up. If teenagers were tapioca brained robots in the presence of someone older, they'd be easy to parent and the best employees, but anyone who knows anything about teens knows they are the opposite. Teenagers are often talked into doing stupid things, but just as if not more often by their peers. Maybe being older gives you MARGINALLY more power to psychologically abuse someone, but I'm sure its offset wildly by the fact you'd be less inclined to. Research shows a man 17 - 20 is twice as likely to abuse his partner as a man 25 - 28.
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It was 14 in Renessiance Italy. Girolamo Riario wanted to get busy with Caterina Sforza before that but he wasn't allowed.
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@Niobesnuppa There is no other context where we bring up this "power imbalance" boogeyman. When two people commit a crime, you don't charge the younger person differently based on the relative age of his accomplice. People manipulate people. Some people are very good at it, others aren't, age has very little to do with it. Not to mention, older people are more moral and less likely to be abusive. Statistics show a guy is most likely to hit his girlfriend at age 16 (yes, you read that right), and the probability decreases consistently from that point onwards. Then there's the obvious benefits of having an older, wiser partner. If your daughter was an airhead, and brought home the class Valedictorian for dinner, would you say "Oh noes, he's smarter than her! He'll manipulate her!!!" No, you'd say "Phew, she found someone mature and well put together who will keep her out of trouble." The only defense I see for being more worried about an older partner is 1) stats show relationships with age gaps are less likely to last, and its a stark correlation 2) I don't want my daughter's husband dying 15 years before her.
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@davidparry5310 Teenagers are not "niave, impressionable, and easily manipulated." Have you worked with teenagers? They're stubborn and arrogant asf. They have little to no sense of respect for elders or authority. That's why they're such a nightmare to parent. This whole argument about "power imbalances" makes my blood boil. I dated a woman who was 8 years older than me and I could read her like a book. On other hand, when I was in Middle School, I had a "friend" (similar age to me, obviously) who played me and another friend of mine like a fiddle for his sadistic pleasure. My sister was in an emotionally abusive relationship, but that was with someone close to her age. And the one time I was scammed out of thousands of dollars, I was 26 years old. I was involved heavily in online communities with adults as a teenager. Never ever do I feel like they had some mind control powers over me as a "niave and innocent" teenager, even looking back. If anything, my stubbornness was the problem, and made me many enemies. So throughout my life I've seen people manipulate others, and never once did it fit this "niave teenager, predatory adult" model.
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@davidparry5310 I can. How many times have you heard about a teenage girl who's raised in a conservative household, finds fellow teens on tumblr, and in two weeks thinks she's a polyamorous trigender foxboy, and her parents feel like they've lost her forever. How could that possibly happen if adults have so much power over teens? Shouldn't they just be able to reprogram her back to her original self even faster than tumblr got to her?
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What if a 6 year old consents to sex because she's told they're "playing games" or "tickling on the inside"?
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I think children who agreed to be "tickled on the inside" would disagree.
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@louisemarsh6106 I really hope you don't think someone should be able to vote or join the army or take out a $200,000 loan at 18 then.
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So someone who's under 21 having sex with someone who hasn't gone through puberty is okay?
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Ultimately you have a legitimate point. It needs to be more about just "people under this age can't consent" because children can't consent to medical procedures yet its hardly abuse to perform certain surgeries on the child. It's really about "will they come to regret this."
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bostonteapartycrasher Awww man, your heart's in the right place and so is your brain, I really want to like this comment, but I'm just not sure "12" is the natural adulthood. A lot of people experience sexual urges at this age but I think the average age is higher. I think the most natural cut off for adulthood would be 14 or 15. That's when people reach their adult size and shape, are shown to make decisions at an adult level, and the typical age of "sexual awakening" from the study I read.
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@davidvarley1812 Are you the guy who said he was doing grown men when he was 13?
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@davidvarley1812 So then why would you say Germany's laws are "sensible"?
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But it shows you can't scream "OMG they're childrenz!!!" like its some kind of law of nature. Infact, if anything is a law of nature, it's that adulthood comes well before 18, 16 at the latest. (but I know age of consent is 16 in the UK, I'm referring to the US)
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@davidvarley1812 And yet you're the guy who said you liked Germany's laws that forbade someone over 22 from having sex with someone under 17?
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Under Jewish law, you are a woman at 12 and a man at 13. Don't throw stones from a glass house.
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@darthplagueis3488 You honestly think that kind of thing is rare?
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@IsaacAsimov1992 Anyone who's into their late 20s or beyond knows what I mean lol
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@darthplagueis3488 Yes they are, but the age of the manipulator makes very little difference. How many times have heard stories like this: a 15 year old girl is raised in an Orthodox Christian home. She discovers a blog full of her fellow teens on tumblr who convince her she's a trigender polyamorous foxboy. Her parents talk her out of it for 3 years and she's goes to college a radical. How would that happen if people had Jedi mind control powers over younger people? Shouldn't her parents be able to use their magical powers to revert her back to her original programming?
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@darthplagueis3488 Christ alive, yes, I mentioned how I was MANIPULATED at 13. So yes, 13 year olds can be easily manipulated, but not just by adults. Why are you threatened by this idea unless you want 13 year olds screwing each other?
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@kenpanderz Dude, you got a long ass post through the algorithms right before that, I think that's quite an accomplishment. Usually the algorithms discriminate against long responses. If I ever become a parent I won't want my son or daughter dating until they're 17, but I don't believe for a second my daughter would be better off with an 18 year old boy than a 25 year old. His marginally greater ability to manipulate her will be more than offset by his improved character.
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@darthplagueis3488 Lol I really wish I could see what this was a response to.
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This is what fills me with such rage. It especially burns me up when it comes from liberals, who worship countries where age of consent is 15 or 16 (Finland, Sweden, Denmark, Norway) and constantly tell us what a nation of rube neanderthals we are compared to them. That's like someone pretending to be a champion of women's rights when they're constantly gushing about how great the Taliban is. Even if they never specifically endorse the Taliban's treatment of women, you know they're a [censored].
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