Comments by "Elana Vital" (@ElanaVital83) on "Creating a monster: how men ruin their relationships" video.

  1. Sadly, that's the job of Dads to teach their boys the right way to have a woman. But society disempowered father figures so any man telling his boy to stand up to a bully-woman gets told their spreading misogyny and toxic masculinity 😢. Self respect is now labeled as misogyny! Such a shame.
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  2. She's being selfish, and her selfishness won't stop once you put a ring on her finger. Actually, it'll probably escalate because women tend to "let their hair down" once we get that ring. I'm guilty of it myself! Just with minor stuff like dolling myself up, keeping myself fit. It got really bad because my husband makes me feel beautiful no matter what I do, but reality is I was getting obese. It took a trip where I got winded and we almost missed a bus for me to realize I was getting "too comfortable" with my body and looks, and I even though my husband says I'm beautiful every day, I was letting myself go and I knew it. He used to have an abusive girlfriend who even hit him. He fought with her constantly but ALWAYS gave her whatever she wanted, even if she whacked him. This can also be true of men. I've had boyfriends who were good guys that I turned into monsters with my own codependency: had a guy who wanted me to quit my career for him, and I did at the time. It backfired because I think deep down, even the nicest guy can act cruelly to anyone who insists on being a living doormat.
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  3. 😂 You're one of the girls he's describing here, aren't you? All he's saying is to set firm boundaries in the relationship. That's proven true for both men AND women. Meanwhile you just threw a tantrum in text right here. 😅 No means no. Learn that.
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  4. ​ @scubasteve6175 Nothing this man said was misogynistic at all? Everything he stated applies to both genders. Wow, you girls never heard "no" growing up?
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  5. No way my dude. If your partner "does crazy things" because you make a hard "no", they don't love you enough to waste your time with them. Sounds harsh, but when you teach them there is always a way out, you enable bad behavior. What if your hard "No" is important for your own mental health? If your girl sleeps with your best friend, or steals your money, or even worse (but sadly too common), you tell her "No hitting when you get angry". Telling an abuser they have a "way out" is creating a monster. Women always say "no means no", but it goes both ways.
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  6.  @walterreuther1779  As someone who grew up in a family full of both male and female abusers, I'm going to have to disagree with you there. Because abusive people are skilled at getting into your head and making you think your hard no is actually a soft one. And then you go along not to start trouble and the next thing you know, you HAVE no "nos". This is something they are masters at. If you go in with the mindset of negotiation to keep peace, they will ALWAYS exploit it to your disadvantage. You don't have to be a contrarian, but your nos should remain non-negotiable to someone who you know for sure disrespects boundaries. Watch a few bodycam videos and you'll see it: the cops that are nice enough to let the perp hit that last vape, or put the cuffs in front of them instead of behind, or make a phone call to a loved one before arrest? Those ones who get those courtesies ALWAYS end up with Battery on a LEO. Negotiation with abusers is a test for them to see how much they can control you. They start with small things then it escalates.
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  7. Men can act like children, too. Look at my dad. He's a perfect example of the very behavior this video described, and the best way to handle him was covered here as well.
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  8. This is true of pretty much any human interaction. "You teach people how to treat you," they say.
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  9. 😂😂😂😂 good one. You are quoting Roald Dahl, yes? When Veruca Salt's parents explained why they gave her everything she wanted
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  10. Some of us do it AFTER 35 😅
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