Comments by "Elana Vital" (@ElanaVital83) on "MedCircle" channel.

  1. I'm sorry, but if people with BPD were true empaths they would be more sensitive to the feelings of others, and not so hyper focused on only their own. BPD sufferers do have empathy, but it's usually only secondary to their own feelings taking center stage.
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  2. I like that name better. "Borderline" doesn't really clarify what's going on. The borderline of what exactly? Never understood it.
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  3.  @raerae2589  I think that most BPD sufferers don't want to harm others. It's more accidental, and they usually feel terrible after. Meanwhile Narcissists couldn't care less.
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  4.  @melt7891  Right but she can't SAY it, and if she did the narcissist parent would pull the poor kid out of therapy to find a therapist they can then manipulate into blame shifting onto the kid. You don't want that either. One on one she probably validates the kid's suspicion about narcissistic abuse, but on this web show she can only speak hypothetically.
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  5.  a-Tron  LOL no, I don't want to "just see you as evil people", but when I see someone dismissive of someone else's feelings to protect their own egos, I'm going to point it out. I know people who have BOD who have gotten help and are doing fantastic. They are more often than not the most interesting, introspective people you could meet. I've also know people with BPD who refuse to take ownership of their own behavior and they are the most problematic people you could ever meet. This OP is expressing real pain, and you (YOU, not all BPD people but YOU ALONE) were dismissive.
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  6.  @ericking4072  Are you guys seriously narcissistic enough yourselves to assume you can diagnose a stranger on a YouTube video better than the actual doctor here conducting the interview?
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  7. Agreed. I have a father and a sister with BPD symptoms. My mother coached me to always placate them, which made me grow up believing I don't count.
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  8.  @gginah84  I just see so many people dismissive of the harm BPD sufferers can cause because they are stigmatized. The stigma is wrong, especially in the medical field. But that does mean that the harm to friends and family should be swept under the rug.
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  9. But DURING the episode, your empathy is gone.
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  10. You guys are trying to drum up drama
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  11.  a-Tron  You literally just ignored this OP's point of view and made it about how YOU feel
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  12. She can't go around tossing NPD diagnosis at the parents. They'll sue.
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  13.  a-Tron  I understand. But the poster (sorry, not the OP but the comment below it) wasn't doing that and you accused them of "making hurtful generalizations" because they were talking about someone with BPD who can't see anyone else's POV. A key trait for BPD sufferers is THEIR feelings trumps everything else in their brain in a hot moment. That "everything else" that gets drowned out is more often than not, other's POV and feelings. Its usually after they've cooled down that they recognize the oversight and feel terrible about themselves for it. But by then the harm's already been done. That's why getting ongoing help is the only way for BPD sufferers to get conscious of the feelings of others in the heat of their own. It's exhausting and draining for lived ones and S/Os without that essential help.
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  14. Please make a video for children who grew up with a BPD parent ( both mothers AND fathers. Everyone focuses on only mothers, but my father has traits)
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  15. Having a hard time controlling abusing behavior doesn't excuse it, folks. I get that empathy is needed for sufferers of this illness, but your diagnosis is not a free pass to harm others. Props to those who own up how others might have feelings, too.
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  16. My boundaries stink. I try to remember to set them but it's like my brain farts and I forget!
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  17.  Off Grid Gringo  Dude...you just said you cured your BPD but then had a bout of BPD rage here in the comments when someone disagreed with you....Get some self awareness
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  18.  @ladybaabaa  Sorry but that sounds like an abusive environment to me. Maybe not as directly abusive as it would be if you got hit, but seeing a parent drunk is traumatic enough to make a kid feel like the world is unstable and rejection can happen at any minute
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  19.  @oxpulat  So if YOU have it you could be talking BS right now
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  20. "No I am not splitting"<--Then proceeds to do exactly that.
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  21.  @cappuchino_creations  Thats actually pretty common in BPD. Abandon others before they dare abandon you.
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  22. It's hard for them, but having BPD isn't an excuse to be abusive. Your feelings count just as much as theirs
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  23.  Off Grid Gringo  LOL yes. And I'm reading your very typical BPD anger responses here: "I'M CURED WITH MUSHROOMS AND IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME YOU'RE ALL IDIOTS!!" <---Not the response of a recovered BPD sufferer. Nobody attacked you. They disagreed with you. Actually, quite the opposite: YOU attacked first, typical of someone with BPD. You're far from cured, honey. You've just numbed yourself out of having to feel anything, but it's not gone. It still clearly rules your behavior.
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  24. Save the kid. That kind of behavior will scramble a child's brains like an egg. You don't want your kid to end up like me: a codependent chump who feels guilt at ever saying "no" and pays thousands in therapy just to keep breathing. Please please protect your kid.❤
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  25. And narcissists know how to exploit therapy to be used as a weapon against their victims. To blame their victims.
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  26. That's true. But there does come a time when the kid needs to take care of themselves.
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  27.  Off Grid Gringo  BPD can be cured...with extensive CBT. LOL Meanwhile you're only proving my point here. You're angry enough to call the person who dared disagree with you names, bro. Meanwhile, doing constant substances is another trait of BPD. Your argument of "MY DRUGS SAVED ME!" is pretty borderline behavior.
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  28.  @shea2111  Many of the stereotypes are true, but what creates the stigma is a lot of BPD people who refuse to take accountability for the hurt they cause others.
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  29. @Ella Akehurst....what was all that??
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  30. To hear my dad tell it, he was Father of the Year. He'd never admit that he was abusive, but the first time I was allowed to wear makeup to school was to cover up bruises on my jaw.
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  31. Probably majority of people whining about their exes 😂 I'm only here because of my parents and grandparents. Lots of domestic abuse, crime and ugliness in my family history. My research is to find out WHY my grandpa beat the tar out of my Dad, had 2 million dollars offshore but still figured out how to get government assistance for an apartment in New York and a mansion in Santo Domingo. My Dad then grew up to be a rage filled, violent emotional wreck who is incapable of having a sober day without having a crisis, and got arrested for putting a loaded gun in his girlfriend's mouth. All my exes were decent fellows who just didn't want the same thing I do. My husband is my angel. It's the old folks of my family who have me puzzled. Not everyone here is just whining. Some of us have real nasty stories to tell. And when someone is doing things that are OBVIOUSLY narcissistic (scamming government assistance for one) you don't need a medical degree to see something is wrong.
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  32. Are you certain you are truly borderline? You could just have PTSD. They're often confused. But from what I've seen it would be impossible for a borderline to ever walk on eggshells for anyone else.
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  33. My dad's a narcissist. He was also violent and got arrested for beating his mistress. He used the ideology of Christianity to manipulate us: "The Bible says I am the head of the house. Disobeying me is disobeying God"....but as for his own sins (beating us, getting drunk and violent, cheating on my mom) he would say : "The blood of Jesus washes away my sins. If you don't forgive and forget what I just did it's an affront and erasure to Jesus's sacrifice." He even made me do a Christian based curriculum called "The Roll of a Woman" to further brainwash me into unquestioning obedience. If he wanted my paycheck, I was to give it over without question. If he wanted my share of food, I was to go hungry and that's that. Once he even used my back as a foot stool as he watched television, to "teach me humility" and free me from a "spirit of rebellion ". My mother always told me just agree with him and give him what he wants to make him happy. She told me it was the only way to keep peace. When he drank he would enjoy any act of humiliation he could do. He was like a schoolyard bully: spit on my sister's glasses, knocking a cup of water out of my hand as a "joke", raiding our purses for cash, and anything he ever wanted was his, even if it was purchased with our own money. I wasn't even allowed to have a diary. Having anything that was just mine (including an opinion of my own!) was "disobedience and deception, and not submitting to the authority of the head of the house." I once tried to hide a notebook where I wrote about what it would be like to have a boy like me like highschoolkids in the movies (nobody ever dated me. I was homeschooled and didn'teven know any boys. Plus I wasn'tallowed). My parents found it and I was punished for keeping the notebook secret. I wasn't even allowed to have my own daydreams.
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  34. My sister, too! At least, I think so. Everyone always either has a spouse or a mother with it. But it's hard if you have a sibling with it. Particularly if they're going untreated. Is it your older or younger sister?
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  35.  @AB.926  It's so sad, really. People with BPD can have empathy most of the time, but if they lose their temper or feel threatened, that all disappears. It only comes back after they cool off, but then they feel so much self loathing for hurting you, they self destruct. So on top of the hurt they caused you,you're kind of forced to pretend it didn't hurt so they don't hate themselves over it.... Hence why you start getting the impression that YOUR feelings are less important than theirs. How many times have I had to pretend being punched in the face or called ugly names "didn't hurt" just so my BPD family member doesn't enter a week long drinking bender or drive their car off the bridge, or something crazy like that. I remember trying so hard to act like nothing ever bothered me just so THEY wouldn't feel like the bad guy.
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  36.  @lestes7924  Feeling remorse and regret doesn't erase the damage done beforehand. If you truly were an empath, not only would you prevent yourself from harming others (because you can feel the pain they experience), but you have the ability to sooth them when others have hurt them. You feel badly after, but even then it's about what YOU feel that takes center focus for you.
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  37. Holy cow, you poor soul ❤ It's just like Gypsy Rose's story. ​ @PaganღHeart 
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  38.  @JPG_Diceman  They're frustrated because BPD makes people frustrated and he's an easy target
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  39.  ching chong  What's that got to do with anything? What are you, Amish?
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  40.  @jennifermaxine2453  You're kind of making a lot of generalizations but I get what you're saying. From what I hear CPSTD and BPD are sometimes confused for each other.
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  41. Wow...really reaching for drama I see.
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  42.  @thesorrow88  I know, right? They are looking for reasons
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  43.  @joefitzgerald2762  I never dated a narcissist. My dad was raised by one who used to water board him when he got bad grades, and made him BPD with narcissistic tendencies (though Dad does have empathy). I think it's just a lot of bitter exes on here is all, and pretending to have a diagnosis for revenge
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  44.  Sonny Valentyne  BPDs have empathy, but it's not functional empathy. Empathy is designed so that we can understand our fellow humans, prevent harm, and relate to them, and even help when we can. But for a person with BPD their empathy only works after they've disregarded other's feelings. They feel real remorse and regret, and honest do realize what they've done. But it's too late, so it's not serving its purpose.
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  45. I'm terrified because I am always falling for the manipulation tactics of these kinds of people.
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  46. "Don't trigger us!!" You want to world to walk on eggshells just not to make you mad? That is infantile and self centered. The world isn't going to cater to your feelings. Grow up.
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  47. Talking about this is scary! Especially if you're afraid it is going to make others reject you
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  48. It's weird how people need a diagnosis from a doctor before they decide to have empathy for a kid.
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  49. But people can have emotional dysregulation without being borderline
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  50.  @jessicataylor7174  Honey, nice try but that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying most narcissistic mothers or fathers won't admit to acting like a C U Next Tuesday to their kid. And they get really good at making themselves the victim. 😉 Nice try at deflection though. Bringing up a completely unrelated incident....smooth.
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  51. Trust you raised them smarter than that. If they're old enough to visit, they're old enough to decide
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  52.  @sexyitalian891  agreed. They really crave drama, so they use any little thing as a means
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  53.  ching chong  Lmao You're a kidder. I get it. Cute satire.
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  54.  @yourenough3  Must be so hard to be scared all the time like that.
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  55. Yeah, it's kinda annoying
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  56. I wonder how many Narcissists troll these videos and toss out arm chair diagnosis of how OTHER people are Narcissists just for their own intellectual grandiosity.
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  57. They'll fake an apology if it can be manipulative though. If they can get something out of it.
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  58.  @lilybarrow8086  You literally just said you're not childish and then proceeded to ACT childish "I know you are but what am I!" nonsense
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  59.  @lawrence9456  Omg thank you so much 🙏
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  60. But you sound like you are doing a good job at taking care of things. Don't be so hard on yourself.
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  61. Does it make you feel better about yourself to be hateful?
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  62. It's not your job to fix her feelings. You poor kid. I was you a few years ago, always trying to manage everyone else's feefees
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  63.  @AmanSharma-jy7lw  LOL you're playing victim. Well at least it got you IG followers from a couple of smooth brained codependents on here, so have at it, boo.
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  64.  @caseybrooks2348  Well, good of you to be honest. Giving you props for that
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  65.  @sanya3398  Actually, people who suffer from BPD often assume the feelings of others that aren't true. The times they assume insult where there is none is a big part of their struggle.
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  66. Wow, your story sounds so similar to mine (though I wasn't molested. My heart goes out to you and I'm sorry that happened). Did you feel like you were never allowed to have any feelings, too? I never had a fear of abandonment. Honestly, I LONGED to be left alone.
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  67. Only if it's by proxy
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  68.  @pennykent5687  LOL the way you describe how "strong" you are sounds...narcissistic. And apparently you think so highly of yourselves that you can diagnose some host of a mock interview more than the doctor right in front of him
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  69.  @pennykent5687  Lol Lots of narcs use religion as a power tool. God is with you shrieking online that everyone is a narcissist and you're the ONLY GOOD PERSON HERE...sure... Nobody cares who "you are". Relax.
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  70.  @pennykent5687  How am I a narc? You're the one pretending to be some sort of divine Chosen One. And it's weird how you're inclined to villainize narcissistic personality disorder and use it as a means to demean others when it's a real disorder. You act like it's the cooties. Meanwhile you made the actual narcissistic statement "You don't know who I AM!" as if anyone else is supposed to care. Sit down hon.
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  71.  @pennykent5687  Bye felicia
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  72.  @chikaka2012  But folks literally refused to go back to work
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  73. Maybe you have BPD
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  74.  @misstery5942  You put your feelings first. You didn't consider your daughter's need for you until after the fact.
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  75. The only way to win is if you do the nasty things they do. Gaslighting and lying, manipulation, calculative abuse and devaluing. Timing is everything, and you can best them. But it ruins your soul to do it.
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  76. My-My uncle's name is Tony! And he IS pretty narcissistic!
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  77.  @paulao7022  You have a problematic family member. That doesn't give you any right to toss around the diagnosis of NPD to anyone you personally dislike
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  78.  @jaredmello  Dude stop shilling your channel
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  79.  @jaredmello  LOL what your doing is a violation of TOS. You worry about YOURSELF my dude
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  80.  @jaredmello  I'll take my own advice and not violate TOS to shill my YouTube channel...oh wait, I wasn't doing that, it was you.
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  81. I used to have panic attacks at school. My teachers just kicked me out of the classroom for hours at a time.
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  82. I had 1 grandpa who had ALL the attributes of NPD, and 2 grandmas who acted like she had BPD with narcissistic tendencies. And (thankfully) 1 grandpa who was sweet as can be. So my parent's grew up with BPD (my Dad who acted pretty narcissistic but DOES have empathy) and codependency (my dumbass Mom who taught me to always walk on eggshells to make Dad happy) runs rampant through their generation.
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  83. And what do YOU look like?
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  84.  @camerong5513  LOL thanks for being funny today. I really needed a chuckle
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  85. @O'Shay Muir Truth. Most discussion around BPD is people going on about how hard it is to have a stigma about it, but glossing over any responsibility for CONTRIBUTING to the stigma. Many people with BPD don't care if others are hurt by their actions unless they're going to get negatively judged by those actions. Then they play victim and try to paint the picture that they can't be held responsible for whomever they hurt because of their condition. It's absolutely NOT true! People with BPD can change how they treat people, it's just lots of them feel the world should adapt to THEIR wants and needs.
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  86. Why? Because it offends your ego?
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  87. ​I smell BS. This lady's probably p*$$ed she didn't get attention from the influencer and thinks she could malign her out of revenge. I met people who claimed to be victims of influencers before only to discover the one whining is the trouble maker. 😅​ @McGheeBentle 
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  88.  @jessicataylor7174  Because narcissists can try and manipulate a therapist to disempower/invalidate their kid. Not rocket science and it happens all the time. What better way to gaslight than point at your kid and say: "This is YOUR fault because you're crazy! I didnt do anything wrong, and the therapist is on MY side!!" It's a form of triangulation.
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  89.  @sammansfield21  No one is "all treated the same".
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  90. I think my sister might have this. When we were kids, my dad was abusive and violent. So we both used to have panic attacks. I believed hers were real because hey, I got them, too. But one day I actually witnessed her lying about it: Mom wanted her to do dishes or something and called her downstairs, and she was in the middle of tweezing her eyebrows. So she suddenly stopped tweezing, started crying and told Mom: "I was dead asleep and you scared me into a panic attack!!" So my Mom apologized and coddled her, and she got out of doing the dishes. I was no rat, but I was mind blown she would straight up lie like that! Right in front of me: with the TV on, sitting on the bed, plucking at her face! She wasn't asleep! So I sheepishly waited till Mom was gone and said: "But...you weren't asleep. You were tweezing your eyebrows." She suddenly lunged at me and starts pounding on my head, telling me I'm insane, a liar, and "Why would I believe you, you're crazy and talk to yourself!" I fought back (and ripped out a chunk of her hair😈) but even when Mom came back running to break us up, I didn't snitch. Years later, my sister is 43 and saying she had: Cancer, Fibromyalgia, and now it's Lupus. She's prone to changing her story, too: First she said it was uterine cancer, then she said "It was only a cyst", then announced on Facebook she was POSITIVE for cancer, but when I asked her about it says "I never said I had cancer, you're crazy." Then it was Fibro. She got a cane and a wheel chair. It really scared everyone. But then we go on a trip to NYC where we walked all over and she suddenly doesn't need a cane or a wheelchair. Then she recently announced she has Lupus. And I can't bring myself to believe her. Aside from the weird health stuff, she's also scammed me out of thousands of dollars over the years. The thing that throws me for a loop is when she pretends she never said a thing.
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  91. Religion is just another form of narcissistic abuse on a grand scale. How narcissistic is a god who punishes you for not worshipping him? Who will destroy you for asking too many questions?
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  92. The last time someone said I was too sensitive, I basically said : "Sensitivity is an evolutionary skill. Don't belittle mine just because you're too much of an emotionally illiterate Neanderthal to not be able to understand complex human feeling and thought! All you know is: Oogah Boogah, Gimme Banana! So sit down, Monkey Girl! The humans are talking." Then everyone laughed 😎. I was lucky enough to be at a party with a bunch of people, and I said it with a joking air so she couldn't react without everyone else then calling HER too sensitive. She did turn the most gorgeous shade of purple though. She would've slit my throat at that moment, but there were too many witnesses.
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  93. @Jacqui Girl why did you just apologize to This Kevin dude? He was making it about HIMSELF. You weren't even talking about him personally! That's not on you. Remember how your ex made you apologize too much! Girls always feel like they have to apologize and it's gotta stop ❤ You're awesome and shouldn't apologize.
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  94.  @leeknivek  Dude relax. She wasn't talking about you. And a real narcissist wouldn't worry about being a narcissist, so you're fine! Breathe and touch grass. It's going to be OK.
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  95. Lots of people see having a kid like getting a cute pet
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  96.  @messahealz5356  Becoming a parent isn't supposed to be a "lifeline" for you. Kids shouldn't be born with the job of fixing their parents.
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  97.  @sanaaleealice6781  Having a kid isn't supposed to be about about "loving you first". Kids aren't a feel good drug to make you feel better.
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  98.  @jodiekelly3389  Just that fact that you say "My children saved me" shows you're having them to serve YOUR needs...not theirs. Kids shouldn't be born with a job
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  99.  @mst-pierrem5729  Yeah that's messed up. Kids aren't supposed to be born with a job, and to force that on them, force them to be your savior...really selfish and messed up. Look up "parentification" if you don't believe me.
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  100.  @mst-pierrem5729  Murder happens. Theft happens. You go on and on about how it benefits YOU, but don't care what effect it has to the child? You shrug your shoulders and say "It happens". Gross.
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  101.  @messahealz5356  LOL you said what you said, fam. So many narcissistic parents LOVE telling everyone what wonderful parents they are.
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  102. Abuse victims are always afraid to tell. Especially if they're just a kid
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  103. I'm not sure if my sister really is narcissistic or not. It was worse when we were kids. There would be times when she would protect me from my abusive dad. And I'd feel better. But other times...it was like she was mimicking him. It was almost like she wasn't sure if she wanted to be like him or not, and was consciously trying it out. She was always super jealous and insecure with EVERYTHING, to the point where she'd get catty with other girls and I'd be embarrassed by her meanness. In the teen years it was worst of all: she took the term "mean girls" to a whole new level. She'd call me fat, say Idea never have a boyfriend, get jealous of anything that I ever achieved to the point that I was inclined to hide my talents just so she'd not feel threatened. She'd gaslight me, lie, steal my money, assaluted me once by bloodying my throat, and acted just like Dad. But then she'd have these moments of self awareness and seem remorseful. To the point where one day she was drunk and crying and said she knew she was a bad sister to me, and she didn't know what made her act like that. She changed after joining the army and having kids. She lost a lot of her meanness, but every now and then she'll have an irrational freakout. Just recently she was upset at me about an opinion that I had about a movie I disliked...she never much like me to have ideas of my own. I finally told her that she seriously needs to grow up. Imagine getting so worked up over someone not liking a movie! She later stated that whenever I had an opinion about something she felt like I was under handedly sending some sort of secret messages to her that I thought I was better than her somehow. I can't understand how she'd get that when my opinion of the film had nothing to do with her at all! The last time she bloodied my throat was over a similar situation: I disliked a particular actor I saw on TV, mentioning that he was overrated. That whole argument resulted in her slashing at my throat, telling me that I'll never be allowed to see my niece, amd locking me out of the house for six hours. Because I said an actor on TV was overrated. And then she cries and apologizes and seems not to understand why she acts the way she does, and I WANT to forgive her. But is this narcissism? She seems to have empathy a lot of the time.
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  104.  @lucreciarodriguez4074  What?
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  105.  @camerong5513  Are you a medical professional? LOL sounds more like you're someone with a bruised ego with not enough creativity to say anything other than "NO U!!"
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  106. The socialist propaganda in your post is even funnier 🙃
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  107.  @dierdriu  What are you talking about? There is no drama.
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  108.  ching chong  Says who?
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  109. Pretty good way to go about it
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  110. Just realized that fear of abandonment is so strong with someone who has BPD, but many in this comment section feel more peaceful when they are alone. It's sort of an odd paradox, isn't it?
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  111.  @camerong5513  LOL you're the same person who had a meltdown on the other thread and swears Dr. R is a narcissist because YOU say so 🤣😂🤣😂 Sounds more like she has you pegged and it hurts your ego
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  112. I'm glad you're honest with yourself about it ❤
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  113. They gotta make money
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  114. Same!! I hate how religious isolation harms a kid's education.
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  115. So many defensive parents in this comment section! So many who want the world to believe they're the perfect mom or dad!
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  116. U mad
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  117.  @camerong5513  ok
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  118. LOL jealous and butt hurt
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  119.  @KimberleySamantha999  Sam Vankin is a great resource.
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  120.  @tonysimmons5729  Your situation sounds just like my older sister's. Enabling mother. Selfish abusive father. And I was just the little one, watching all the chaos. My sister has BPD traits, too. Sadly, she would get the full brunt if my parent's nonsense, and then take it out on me only because I was the nearest target.
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  121. Are you a doctor?
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  122. I thought for years my dad might be narcissistic. But I now see that he is more likely BPD.
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  123. @What i want? Some borderlines have narcissistic tendencies, but that's not the same as NPD
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  124.  @rebeccahopkins9522  Heart breaking to read what's happened to you. Gaslighting is rampant in religion. My heart goes out to you.
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  125. I never made more than 20k a year, but I know I've made choices that resulted in that because of my past traumas. Scrolling on Google til 3am when I know I have a job interview at 8 the next morning? "Losing" my phone when I am waiting for the company to call me back? Yeah...
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  126. Why were you on Louder with Crowder?? This ought to be an interesting story
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  127. @Seven Inches of Throbbing Pink Jesus What destruction?She's HELPING people
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  128.  @jennifermaxine2453  Haha you've been watching Richard Grannon?
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  129. Not all.
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  130. My mother used to gaslight me a lot but she isn't a narcissist. She was enabling my violent, narcissistic father. He'd be drunk and violent, and if we mentioned it later she'd pretend it never happened, or pretend she didn't remember. I recall a conversation where my dad smashed a painting to pieces. When I was remembering it, she pretended that painting just fell off the wall, and acted like that horrible night never happened. Then she'd pretend to be disinterested in the conversation and change the subject. My Dad got away with stealing money from me this way. And I am a bit weird and absent minded, so she'd pretend that I just always remember things wrong. My sister was more exploitive. She'd gaslight me to get things from me. Pretend I previously agreed to doing favors that I never did agree to. Told me my tax return was not going to me bank account because it was being held "in escrow" with the government so I can get it as a lump sum years later (reality: she put the money in her own bank account). Told me I gifted her things that I would never given away, when questioned on how she got it. Between the two of them, I started to think I was crazy. The warped reality made me depressed and want to die. Who wants to live in a world where nothing makes sense and nothing you percieve is considered real?
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  131. Nah. She tells you how to handle it. You just don't like it because it applies to YOU 😂
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