Comments by "" (@charlesvan13) on "The Onion" channel.

  1. African American and Hispanic turnout was high, but more of them voted Republican this time, because your candidate sucked.
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  2. You could still get a job as a circus clown, or do birthday parties for kids with you face painted.
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  3. "the trend towards the court being less strictly Constitutional and more strictly awesome." Hear that liberals. If you're going to deviate from the Constitution make it strictly awesome, and not your pansy assed empathy crap.
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  4. But we're all sighing in relief, that he's not like George Bush. Bush would have just put it out--total black and white thinking. Fires aren't evil, we make them that way.
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  5. Actually, people do lose weight taking lsd. They stay up all night, active, and not too concerned with eating.
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  6. This is just like moving into a house and there's an unopened quart of Valvoline 10w-30 in the garage. But what if that tire has a leak? You cant always tell without airing it up on a rim and puting soapy water on the tread.
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  7. God-damn Obama death panel. How many more must die? Ron Paul 2012
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  8. $45 for 1/8 ounce of marijuana? That's an awfully steep price.
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  9. All I heard was "Derr dee durp da duh burpp...I rekon...Yah burp dee durp da dur......."
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  10. They're trying to scare you that the Africa could spread to uninfected places like Europe and Asia.
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  11. There's another Verhoven film that starts with a man having gay sex and murdering his partner.
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  12. @ps2nolimits Because a dead person can't defend, or respond, for themself. But that's hardly relevant to this, which is just a joke.
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  13. Why couldn't they kidnap Michael Moore. His captors wouldn't be able to afford to feed him.
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  14. I think I saw that first movie. I remember cracking up when that girl said "weee!!!" while driving off the cliff.
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  15. They're probably denouncing Thuu'll as being a damn "neocon".
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  16. @Azlaier It's not legal? Need to put my gun down and double check this.
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  17. Jumping off the Brooklyn bridge would kill you? Unless you did a belly flop you'd just float back to the surface.
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  18. At least the topers wont breed. They're obiously sterile from radiation exposure.
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  19. Are they trying to be pc by having a non-Muslim stoning?
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  20. It is fast paced, But one criticism of the new movie is that the Does Not make sense.
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  21. For all those geniuses who haven't thought of locking the door.
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  22. @flyersphan111 He was a US resident when at Cal. Tech.
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  23. The only war we're involved in is in Afghanistan. And yeah, both parties supported it Nothing groundbreaking about that revelation.
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  24. People loose weight with LSD. The potato sallad probably wouldn't threaten them. They just don't think much about food and stay up all night.
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  25. @AaronDArnold I don't know about you. But where I grew up they would lock up murderers and release people caught with a bag. They might even release you for growing it. But that is the west coast. States like Alabama or Georgia are probably different.
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  26. At 1:58 the Chief justice is killing Mr. T.
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  27.  @16bitmonkeyeatinglettuce90  I'm a constitutionalist. But you're clearly a pussy.
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  28. I think there are 5 other US flags on the moon. They brought a new flag each time.
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  29. He punched the banker, because losers are more reliable Democrat voters.
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  30. I've wondered why people think she is qualified to be secretary of state. She was first lady, then using her fame senator of NY. Obama should appoint more expert people. Make me wonder if he doesn't like being around smarter people.
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  31. That's the first time I've seen "the button" which launches the nuclear arsenal. He has to be careful when he buzzes-in a guest to the White House or puts his phone on speaker.
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  32. @XpEAnUTBuTtERsUckSX Jintao? You mean the president of P.R. China? That is actually one of the most capitalistic countries. China doesn't have the safety-net programs that the US does.
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  33. @WarCrime911 Huh? The conspiracy theorist never proved anything. They have never offered a hypothesis as to what "really happenned" that doesn't involve an absurd suspension of disbelief. So a missle hit the Pentagon? There's no missle that explodes into airplane parts and bodies complete with landing gear.
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  34. what a whimp.
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  35. He's Andrew Weissman. He appears on MSNBC in his continual quest to persecute the German-American Trump.
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  36. The later star trek shows just consisted of an hour of fake technology bable, e.g. "I interfaced the tricorder with the subspace relay to contain the warpcore vertian particle emitter diode phaser particle beam positronic hologram." You're better off watching people have sex and blow each other up for an hour.
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  37. So she can no longer say "no".
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  38. The stick market is in free-fall.
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  39. Honestly, that's pretty normal prison behavior for people too.
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  40. People need to be honest about this. A Chimp wouldn't even last working at McDonnalds for 10 minutes.
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  41. Makes me want to get in "touching distance" of her, just for the hell of it.
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