Comments by "p11" (@porky1118) on "Why It's Your Fault You Got Ghosted" video.

  1. I have a similar problem. I don't even write that often. Maybe once a month or less often. And only a few sentences, maybe up to three per message. You can't be so busy to not even answer a message once per month, can you? Maybe she didn't see it, because I don't use her main messaging tool, when I wrote the message, maybe she saw it but was tired and then forgot about it, maybe she misinterpreted something I wrote, since my messages are short and when reading something it's difficult to get the intention (if something is meant to be a joke or something serious), and so gets skeptical about me (probably an unreasonable fear. She knows, how I am in person). Or maybe she is lying, when she says, she likes our meetings. I also kind of have the fear, she has some issues with really doing what she wants. She often does things, she doesn't really want, because she feels obligated to do things, other people seem to expect from her. So I'm not sure, if she would like to meet more often, if she wasn't so busy, or if she just meets me because she feels obligated to after having a few nice meetings some years ago. And now she tries to stop our contact without hurting me or getting into a difficult situation herself?
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  2. I already realized this loop of having no friends and being overly attached to a friend long before I got into psychology (watching your channel). When I meet a new friend, I'm overly confident. If I really like them, I sooner or later drive them away. And if I don't like them as much, I lose interest myself. So if they don't try to stay in contact, we won't stay friends for long. So I only have three kinds of contacts: - forced (family, work, hobbies) - I really like them (not always stable) - they really like to be with me (not always that close)
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  3. I'm not sure, what to do in such a situation. Don't write back seems bad, writing long responses seems bad, so writing short messages every few months seems like the best solution, right? I also think about writing about the problems I have with her in text messages. But I don't think, it's a good idea. I want to talk to her about more serious stuff in person. She probably just sees me as a friend, and I don't want to make a huge problem out of not getting messages back. On the other hand, it's really annoying not to get answers. I wouldn't care if she clearly tells me, she doesn't like to be with me anymore. I've already let her go some time ago, after she didn't answer anymore for some time. I first was sad and then thought, it has to be over. I was fine with it. But after half a year, I thought, I'll do some boring smalltalk and after some time we met again. And I realized, how much I like her. I almost forgot about that... So should I write her, how annoying this can be to me? Should I tell her, I'm not really interested in this friendship anymore, if she mostly doesn't even answer? Should I tell her about my fears? What I think, could be the real reason for not writing and meeting as often. Or should I even tell her, how important this friendship is to me? That she's the only girl, I meet in person. That she's the only person I can talk about basically anything without being judged? And the only person I meet, who seems to have similar political views as me?
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