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Psiberzerker
The Onion
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Comments by "Psiberzerker" (@Psiberzerker) on "Baby-Naming Tips For New Moms" video.
The most important thing is choosing a name they will be teased for in middle school, but not too much, and then they can stop being teased when they become Sophomores (Maybe Juniors if they're not gifted.) in High School. Giving a girl a name with a boy's name for short like Melanie (Mel) Samantha (Sam) and a short haircut helps fosters rumors that she might be a lesbian, so she's more popular with boys when they grow pubic hair.
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Maureen is one of my favorites, because not only is "Mo" cute, but it also sounds like "Marine" which is low-key butch.
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