Comments by "ghound " (@ghound-md5ey) on "Why I Regret Moving into a Nursing Home – 6 Hard Truths You Must Know! elderly wisdom" video.

I was a nurse in care homes in the UK. I never met a resident who chose to live there when they were independent. Why would they ? Everyone in the home NEEDED to be there ! Sadly for some people, their care requirements are such, that care in their own home isnt possible. If you get to this stage, unfortunately you don't really have a choice. Keep as fit and healthy as you can, have your affairs in order, and ensure your home is as safe, and easy to manage as possible. Consider what modifications you may have to carry out, to enable you to remain at home if you become more ill or infirm.
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@leticialaoagan9286 It's wonderful if you can do that, but what happens if you yourself are not well enough to care for parents ? I am the only family member living near my mother, and I am not able to look after her. People may also be working. You cannot care for someone with complex health needs if you're out at work.
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@mel2000 This is the truth ! Well said, thanks !
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People go into nursing homes because they are very frail or ill with chronic health conditions. Its very sad, but unfortunately, chronic diseases progress, that's just what happens. The home was not necessarily to blame for his deterioration. Your friend most likely didn't have an option if he needed care. I'm sorry for your loss xx
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Please be assured, that nobody who is able to look after themselves can be "put " into a care home ! Would you allow it to happen to you as you are now, fit and healthy ? Of course not ! People end up in nursing homes due to their frailty and inability to care for themselves. They deteriorate because they are ill in the first place, that is the normal course of chronic diseases . Please don't blame a person's relatives, nobody who is independent and well can be 'forced ' into a home !
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@abdelmansouf5560 I agree, but in the past, people didn't give as long, so dementia was not so much of an issue. I would never condemn anyone for being unable to take care of elderly relatives. I have nursed patients with dementia, and sometimes it takes a team to provide care. Nobody should have to sacrifice their own health, well-being, and family /marriage to nurse very ill relatives.
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@WiseAdvice93 Thank you for saying this ! You are indeed 'wise ' !
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@Advicefortheelderly You have no idea how demanding physically and mentally it is to care for someone with complex health needs like severe dementia ! I have seen people break down and lose their own health through attempting to do so. Families also have to work ! When the elderly reach the stage of requiring a nursing home, we are not just talking about making meals, helping them bathe, etc. Dementia can mean violence, turning night into day, double incontinence, smearing faeces, other complex health care needs. It is 24 hours non-stop, 365 days a year !
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@riverduck3 Well said, thank you !
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@WiseAdvice93 I agree with much of what you say, but it's unfair to say that families don't care and abandon their elders. As a retired nurse, I understand the demands of caring, and with some sick elderly people, it would be impossible for relatives to cope.
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@vintageprue8728 I know some families don't care. As a retired care of elderly nurse, I've seen it all too. However, not everyone is capable of caring for their parents for so many reasons. Whatever people's motives, the infirm elderly are in care for one reason - because their health conditions and frailty requires it. I would not have the strength to care 24 hours a day, 365 days for a parent with severe dementia, doubly incontinent, aggressive, and wandering about. Whether they are loved by their families, or seen as a burden, they are in care because they need to be.
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@christinehall7116 Hi, I'm sorry, I didn't intend my reply to come across that way. As a retired nurse, but also a daughter, I was actually trying to reassure you it was only your friends poor health that put him in the home. Both my parents had to go into a home through dementia, and it was horrible for them to leave their home of over 60 years. My Dad died soon after. I totally sympathise with you.
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