Comments by "Grey Matters" (@o0GrayMatters0o) on "EXPLORE WITH US"
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It seems like a lot of people just want to vent and share and express and unload all this trauma, and I get it, we all do that. Everybody wants to share and talk, but some of these CPS workers probably came from households like that and wanted to help, but soon learned and realized the scope and enormity of the situation was much more than any listening to the trauma-dumping could help.
They have bosses and their bosses are eventually the courts, and the limited funding and the corruption and etc etc. I guarantee there are many cases where they helped, or many cases where they tried and were taken advantage of by bad people. And Retired52 said it best "And it's the poor kids that have to suffer." The kids are the victims here, true, and all the comments seem to come from the victims.
It's fucking sad, especially when you deal with these traumatized kids. I know kids in middle and high schools from situations and homes like these that do drugs, fight or don't respect authority, and 2 (1 middle schooler and 1 high schooler that call themselves "trans.") The boy took hormones and turned himself into a girl and does make-up to look like a chola, and the little middle school girl shaved her head and acts like a tough boy.
Their facades are strong, but when you get them in vulnerable moments, they're hurt and lost and scared and traumatized beyond comprehension- sexual, physical, emotional trauma, the obvious neglect. It sucks to say, but some people should just not have kids.
What do you do when they do though? I knew a girl strung out on drugs once that got pregnant. Luckily she had a miscarriage because that baby would've been traumatized. One time I saw a drug deal go down in an alley where a little girl was standing by a guy's legs and the mom was nearby just watching and waiting.
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@KaiLucasZachary i'm not some creepy internet weirdo trying to get personal information out of you specifically. i normally wouldn't ask a person in person, but online, it's hard to know who i'm even talking to and where my place is if anything.
i've spoken to traumatized war vets about their life experiences, i've spoken with kids that lived in group homes about theirs. mom's whose son's unlifed themselves. i've cleaned up the blood spatter off of a wall of a unit in a complex i used to live in for a long time where a guy took his own life out of nowhere. quiet guy that worked at a local hardware store- had 10's of thousands of dollars on his bank receipts- a poem i'll never forget talking about how this life used to be to how it is, and how he felt like a stranger or traveler or disconnected observer to it all so the bottle took his leisure hours when he wasn't dutifully working full time.
i've seen a few dead bodies. trauma comes in many forms and all are valid. of course age is relevant. everything is relevant during in a topic like this. time is usually experience. i'm not saying it's any less serious if a kid says she's gonna unlife herself and an adult says it, because there's very little room for error.
anyway, interpersonal interactions and exchanges vary in tone and vulnerability depending upon many subtle or obvious similarities or differences. in the real world, not online, people behave differently when they interact with kids, or peers, or their elders. societal and hierarchical factors change the dynamics of interpersonal communication as well. anonymity makes most internet users snarky and smart ass know it alls with fragile and frail ego's and self-esteems that they confuse for winning some game or argument of one up.AA's and N.A.'s are the worst, full of competitive people trying to one up each other in drama, but nothing in this natural physical world stays the same for long. people change as these factors change. i love people, but i hate people online, especially on social media platforms where people speak from anonymous avatars. there's very little in the way of authentic vulnerability and honesty. people and their intents and purposes man- even when they're good sometimes they come off as an imposition. but yeah, trauma is not the blunt force exerted in a moment, but more of the hurt and limitations the traumatized has to endure during and afterward.
your picture says you're not 10, but you're not 40. other than that, it doesn't tell me enough. time changes people intra-personally- from the inside out too. time and experience is our greatest teacher. experience and adversity change people. the world changes people. the world changes in time too. somebody that lived through the 60's has a different experience than a kid who's never known life without the internet, or the normalization of war or other things. kids these days know a much different world than in the 80's even. i'm 40. i work with kids. a kid told me he was sue is side all. it annoyed me more for the fact that i knew he was joking and i was gonna have to take it seriously because speaking of harming oneself or another mandates a mandated reporter to share the knowledge of the incident.
i had to act even though i knew he said it in a flippant and playful way, almost as if for a laugh, albeit a little under his breath. i knew full well he had no intention of unlife-ing himself. i'm an empath. i can feel what people are saying behind their words. not so much online though because sometimes crazy or deceptive people can hide very well behind masks of sincerity, on either side of sane, or happy, or smart, or whatever. but in real life, energy says everything. i've known him since 3rd or 4th grade.
his background has the flags though, so before i officially reported him i quietly confronted him about it and heart checked him first. i got a true feeling for if he's actually ever once even thought about it and it became clear to both of us that it wasn't a thought nevermind an option, i knew it and he knew it, but i told him what i had to do and he understood. he knew he fucked up. i've written a suicide letter before, as a joke. it got intercepted. i'll never forget it. i was in 2nd or 3rd grade. everybody got involved. this kid's in 8th. he knew the can of worms he opened, and he was sorry and back peddling all the way from the start with the psychologist. i know his story though, so i told him if he was gonna do anything to wait till he was 25.
this is a traumatic period of time for the world, for kids in their development stages especially... again, i keep trying to picture who I'm speaking with but i can't get a clear image... i dont even know your story. maybe i never will. i can flutter by though and catch and call a few things out though before we pass and go our own ways. do you watch informative videos online? lemme share one with you. maybe we can discuss it.
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That's sad and heartbreaking @thecrazygoodmomlife . So much trauma. But who's fault is it!? How could those trauma's have been avoided? Someone above told me they felt CPS failed because they left them with their parents. You're saying they failed because they took you from your parents. What's the solution to these types of situations and parents!? How can people have children and expect there to be a safety net where another family or department will have to house, clothes, and feed them to their standard!? It's all just so sad. We're blessed in this country you know, in other countries, there's 0 funding for this kind of stuff, regardless of how good or bad the public thinks it is. I know some kids that grew up in situations like these that had to grow up a lot quicker and fend for themselves, even the traumatized ones. They started painting or landscaping jobs where eventually they learned how to work for themselves and make a pretty darn decent living- no help, no parents, no CPS, no courts, just the will to work and survive, and even thrive. I'm with you though. What do you think is the solution? Is there even one?
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