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Furious Destroyah
HealthyGamerGG
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Comments by "Furious Destroyah" (@furiousdestroyah9999) on "Not Wanting to Die, but Not Wanting to Live | Dr. K Interviews" video.
Yeah I had and am currently still having a similar experience with my own mother. She's currently on her third abusive husband from which she's escaped once so far and they just got back together again. I also practise the whole "be a good boy" thing but a while back I lost my capability to care about things so I've just kind of been operating on autopilot, just doing what others want from me and nothing more. I don't want anything, although I somewhat desire death but not actively, it'd just be something nice finally happening or a kind gesture from somebody
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For me the real world pretty much feels like the demo of actual life. It's missing core functions that are locked behind some kind of unexplainable wall and the very diminished experience we do get is very limited, your life could end in a matter of minutes today, tomorrow or the day after, etc. As long as you stay alive it'll never change but you don't know what's after death, there could be an even worse hell or access to the genuine experience and this also happens to be the philosophy behind my nihilism. People out there are talking like this existence is some kind of ultimate gift graciously given to us by something but I can't relate because suffering is all I've known during my lifetime.
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