Comments by "" (@thekidfromcleveland3944) on "4 Signs You Are Still Grieving" video.

  1. I had a dream to become a diesel mechanic. Because i wanted to work on the big engines on the diesel trains. But in order to do that you needed experience and schooling. I got the school part. Finding a place to work was tough. Nobody wanted me. Because i guess an education is worth jack s*** without 20+ years experience. That and covid it definitely didnt help. But i did it!!! I found a gig at a tire shop. This was my chance to make it..............and I failed😭 granted it was a bad situation from the start but......i still failed. I couldnt deliver what i said i could. I said was ready and i wasnt. They gave me a two week probation and they let me go before it ended😭 the chief mechanics last words were " im sorry you wasted your time in school"..............man has 25 years experience. He knows when someone has it and when they dont................and i dont😭 that was my dream my way in. I loved it.........and now its gone. My education wasted. My dream destroyed and any chance of me living a self sufficant life gone. Cant do it making minimum wage. It happened back in October. Its Christmas and i still feel like crying over it. Its so painful that i cant bring myself to acknowledge what happened. Im stuck in this hellish cycle of feeling like a failure everytime i see a open hood or somebody asks me a vehicle related question. Or i go out in the garage and see my tool box. I feel worthless and like i have nothing to contribute to my life. I have no confidence no self esteem. And apart from my pets and family..........no reason to live. Im not suicidal..........but if somebody threatened to kill me id tell them to please do it. Im a broken soul that really wish they were just shattered into a thousand pieces😭💔😭
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