Comments by "Tx240" (@Texas240) on "Better Bachelor"
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Years ago, I was at a club, there was a somewhat disorganized line at closing for valets and people waiting for designated driver to bring car around.
Attractive blonde girl is waiting nearby and I engage her in conversation, touching her arm as I did so. She recoiled and I can't remember now if she actually voiced it, but her meaning was clear: "eww get away."
Nonplussed, I immediately turned to her chubby, not as attractive (fat) friend and said,
"Wow. YOU are a really good friend. You hang out with HER (actually pointing at the snooty hot girl) and have to put up with all her BS. She's probably been complaining about how there's no hot guys here. Meanwhile all night, she's had lots of guys approaching her and chasing them away while you'd actually just like to meet some people and have a good time."
The friend's face was beet red and her eyes and expression said "omg, yes exactly!"
The snooty girl's jaw actually dropped that someone tele-strated her BS.
The valet pulled up with the car and me and my group left. So, there wasn't time for any awkwardness or escalation
Still hilarious to picture the juxtaposed facial expressions of the 2 girls.
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@clutchboi4038 - to be fair, time does fly. I'm early 40s and 25 feels like just a few years ago.
Fortunately, as men age, if we keep in decent shape and learned a few things along the way, we're more attractive and have a much wider pool of women to choose from than a woman of the same age.
Feminism forgot to tell women that their value is front loaded, completely without merit and decreases over time. If she wants a decent man at 39, she's gonna need to learn how to make a mean sandwich and fetch cold beer. Whatever she's "accomplished" as a single woman over the last 20 years is irrelevant to any guy who would consider being her partner.
How's she going to improve his life and what is she bringing to the table in their relationship are the important things.
I don't see her improving any man's life and she's not bringing anything to the table besides her wants, desires, and dreams.
Heck, even those bachelors that white knighted are going to dude-bro their way into much younger, more fun girls once the show is over.
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@cruiser6260 - have you ever done something that caused you frustration and you vented that frustration on somebody else?
Really, you were mad at yourself for doing the thing or setting up the situation that got you frustrated.
Also, have you ever enjoyed or liked something but didn't like that you liked it? I like eating ice cream. But, I don't like that I like it because know it makes me fat if I don't add to my workout or reduce some other normal healthier food to make up the difference.
Combine those 2 effects and that's why the girl appears genuinely mad at him; in part, she is. However, at the end of the day, she's still finding him the most attractive AND she doesn't like that fact (mind you, this probably isn't actually on her though process, it's instinctual feelings).
Besides him being strong enough to stand up to her (especially when compared with the guys who caved), he's also more of a mystery. She doesn't know what makes him tick. She's figured out how to play the other guys. Women find mystery attractive.
Again, on the face of it, she would probably agree with you. The facts I'm pointing out are what's lying under the surface.
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5:28 "Successful" women don't realize that men aren't interested in how well she can do her job. We're interested in how well she can make a sandwich.
Those women that she's competing with who she says, "have nothing going on" are actually more attractive because they have time and energy to be an attentive partner.
Tomi admits that she's bought into the feminist lie that women can do anything with no trade-off.
Most women cannot be happy when they are in a masculine frame. Thank or decry evolution for that.
Trying to be alpha, "working hard and being successful... competing with men in the workplace", puts a woman in a masculine frame.
Sure, she's successful and accomplished at work. But her caveman brain wants emotional and family accomplishment. Evolution.
Meanwhile, masculine men want a feminine woman. Evolution.
18:10 red pill doesn't need to leave a guy angry or empty. Red pill is simply understanding "the desert of the real", seeing how women really are, beyond the beta male propaganda prevelant in all forms of media and from single moms trying to rear boys.
Once a guy has taken the red pill, if he chooses to also learn how to build attraction and what the rules of the game actually are, then he can have more positive interactions with women by turning the rules around on them.
Or, he can decide that he just isn't interested in playing games at all.
Either way it puts the man in charge of his own destiny which satisfies his caveman brain desire to be in a masculine frame.
If a guy is feeling angry or empty he needs to look inside himself, just as you suggest Tomi needs to look inside herself for her entitlement, anger, and emptiness issues.
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7:35 I agree with you that 9s and 10s can be a pain to date. However, your reasons are wrong.
Most guys get complacent once we get the girl. The "extra effort" involved is actually from the guy having to make sure he doesn't get complacent.
"Jumping through hoops" is only "extra effort" things that beta male providers will do because they aren't dominant in the relationship.
This 2nd point leads back into the 1st point. The extra effort is constantly evaluating her attraction level and proactively doing things to both remain the guy she initially fell for and to continue to pass any shit tests to remain the dominant partner.
That's the extra effort that will allow her to keep acting in a femine way and chasing his validation...the man has to remain a source of potential validation instead of a source of actual validation.
Because of this, the girl may well have been sad when he officially broke it off, basically saying that he wouldn't allow her to dominate him or string him along from a distance.
At that point, she realized that he was still strong enough to walk away from her which instantly made him more attractive.
It's a nuclear thing though, the relationship can't recover from that. But, the man can move on easier because realized the situation and kept his dignity and masculinity.
Well, enough relationship science. The point is dating a 9 or 10 can be more trouble than reward if the guy isn't up for constantly checking the girl and putting her in her place.
And, you'll have to be confident enough in yourself and your value to deal with her flirting with other guys. Girls require validation. If she's not getting it from you, which she shouldn't be, she has to get the free validation from other guys. Remember, the girl won't respect or have attraction to guys who give free validation.
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@FerventlyUnderstanding - as men's age increases, our confidence and arning ability also increases. As men age, they bring more to the table.
As women age, they bring less to the table. They're more likely to be interested in their career instead of in taking care of their man. A woman's career accomplishments or earning power don't make her more attractive (women don't share their wealth with their male partner the way a man shares with his female partner).
Further, what women do bring to the table as they age is baggage.
Why would a man want to an older woman who is less physically attractive, more interested in her career, and that has more baggage when he could have a younger woman that's more physically attractive, less focused on her career, and has less baggage?
What's the upside for a man, regardless of age, choosing to be with an older woman instead of a younger one?
Ladies, the things that increase your self worth don't increase your attractiveness.
You've got a masters and a high paying job? Great, can you make me a good sandwich and fetch a cold beer? Thanks.
The other thing women don't realize is that men are catching on to their hypergamous nature.
There's two parts to this. First, it's much more sensible to have a fun, light relationship with a more attractive, less financially intensive younger woman than have a serious, more emotionally and financially intensive relationship with an older woman.
If the younger gal is one of the very rare few who can suppress their "just want to be young and have fun and stuff" urges to actually be a good long term partner, even better.
Second, men have memories. If you would've turned a guy down when you were both 20 or 25 because you felt you had better options, why is it unexpected that he'd turn YOU down when you're 35 or 45 when HE has better options?
This is what it means when we say women have their value front loaded, without doing anything, and it decreases as she ages while men have to earn their value and it increases as they age.
"It's not fair." You're absolutely correct. Many 20 year old guys will agree with 40 year old women on that statement.
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@Gaze73 - I agree and you're right that being more alpha will help in one regard.
However, you missed his point. Women are not loyal. They will cheat.
"Be more alpha" has 2 problems.
First, if you're "more alpha" and a woman is cheating WITH you, cheating on another guy, she's STILL cheating.
It's an unnerving thing to wake up and hear a girl you spent the night with having what sounds like a conversation with someone she knows intimately, asking who that was, and getting "my fiance" in reply.
There's a momentary scramble for pants before she adds, "don't worry, he's out of town." Followed by, "I didn't mention last night because you seemed like a decent guy and I though you wouldn't sleep with me if you knew."
More alpha? She's still cheating.
Second, there's always a bigger fish. Being "more alpha" won't stop a girl from jumping into bed with a guy who is "even more alpha."
Or, from hopping into bed with a guy she thinks can improve her career or even just earn some other nice gift.
"Being more alpha" doesn't do anything to fix the fact that women are cheats. That's the OP's point.
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I would say to someone like him that he needs to realize first that women do not "love" the same way men do.
In business, there's a saying, "Ya, but what have you done today?"
The implication is that you're only as valuable as what you are currently providing. Your past successes, contributions, and loyalty are worth very little, if anything.
This is how women "love". You need to provide something, today, for her to care about you. This "something" ideally is an emotional experience.
Seen a hot girl with a broke, unfit guy? He's good at tweaking her emotions. Make her laugh. Make her angry. Make her cry. Make her laugh.
Never tell her how you feel. If she knows how you feel, there is no mystery. She doesn't need to expend energy figuring you out. She misses out on the emotional ups and downs of wondering how you feel.
That reddit guy is like many dudes that didn't have a man in there life who could teach them how to be a man. Humans learn behaviors. We need a teacher.
As Joker points out, often that teacher is a woman, especially in a divorced family. Women teach men how to be emotional, beta males. This is, incidentally what many women describe that they want in a man "nice", "loyal", etc.
Ironically, women have evolved to specifically NOT be attracted to these qualities.
So, realize that women don't love the same way men do. Realize you must provide emotional experiences to keep her interest and attraction. Never tell her how you feel. Tell her "no". Learn about "shit tests" and how to pass them.
Realize that having a girlfriend won't make you magically happy or content if you aren't already.
If you need to heal past hurts and strengthen your mental and emotional foundation, I recommend RSD Owen or RSD Free Tour channels that have a lot of vids dealing with this. The founder was big in teaching pickup, but now is leaning more towards self help after realizing that was a big part of what he was teaching along with pickup.
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It's going to be very difficult for a decent girl find and keep a decent guy.
If he hasn't put in the effort to learn attraction building He's not going to appeal to her caveman brain and she will lose whatever attraction she initially had.
4:02 This is also why a guy doesn't necessarily need to be jealous or act controlling when his girl is talking to another guy.
Sure, if she's getting digits, that's a red flag, but if a guy fails a jealousy shit test that's going to cost him a lot, she's going to lose attraction towards him. Acting jealous is serious beta behavior.
Remember guys, you want to be a POTENTIAL source of validation not an ACTUAL source of validation to keep your girl chasing YOU. Women NEED validation, though. So, she's going to have to talk to other guys to get that free validation. Keep a weather eye, but be confident that she's with you don't act jealous.
If you ever feel like you need to check her phone or listen in as she's talking to people, you need to do a self check and determine if the problem is you not moving on from previous girls that may have cheated, or just personal insecurity issues or if the girl is actually giving you reason to doubt her loyalty.
Either way, you probably need to end that relationship. Either she's cheating or she's not but you are acting with such lack of confidence that she's going to lose attraction for you and start cheating or leave you (self fulfilling prophecy due to your beta behavior caused by your insecurity).
This leads us back to the problems a girl will have keeping a good guy. She's going to have to put in a lot of effort to control her evolutionary, automatic desire to shit test.
Most good guys are going to fail these tests. This will cause her to lose attraction. If she doesn't do the shit test, he can't fail it, her caveman brain won't have the chance to find him less attractive.
The girl is also going to have to find ways to keep her good guy acting in his masculine frame and not getting lazy and falling into beta behaviors.
Date night? Don't let him get away with "whatever you want honey." You need to help him learn that HE needs make a fkn decision.
You've got the car? Offer to let him drive. Your eyes are tired, you had a drink before leaving, etc.
You want to ask him for a backrub? Go fetch him a beer first, letting him see that there should be a give and take instead of him just doing things for you.
Ideally, he'll catch on and act like a man without your coaching. This will allow you to fall back into your femine and be more natural and enjoyable for you both.
Ladies, if you think you found a good guy, but you realize that he acts too much like a woman for you to stay attracted to him, try and let him "find" resources like "How to be a 3% man" by Corey Wayne (free ebook on his website) and other resources that will help him learn both how to be a man and how to maintain your attraction.
It will be very difficult for a girl to stay attracted to a guy and keep respecting him if he doesn't know how to not act feminine or beta and if he doesn't understand how to actually build and maintain a woman's attraction.
Ladies, most men are working against a lifetime of feminist based, beta male propaganda in all forns of media and single moms not being equipped to teach their sons how to be men.
You may think your fine with a beta male, he's nice and takes care of you. However, your caveman brain won't allow you to respect him or maintain any initial attraction. You will sabotage the relationship.
One last thing, ladies, if you're legitimately a 9 or 10, dreaa yourself down to a 7 or 8 and try to act accordingly. Most guys simply won't actually be able to handle a relationship with a 9 or 10 correctly. The guy's behavior around you, especially in public or social situations, will kill your attraction to him. He'll get needy, lose confidence that he deserves you, etc if you too attractive.
Remember, he's fighting a lifetime of beta male propaganda. He's not ready to be a man around a very attractive woman.
Keep telling him he's out of your league and you're so lucky to have nabbed him. Fake it til he he starts to believe it. You'll need to help him learn how to be confident that he does deserve a beautiful girl. Helping him get rid of his self doubt will help you relax and enjoy his companionship.
"She's out of my league" (2010) shows this off very well and is a great resource for guys wanting to know how NOT to act around a really attractive woman.
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Somebody who knows about these things thought it was a good idea to make an R rated, ultra violent film made for teenage girls (who aren't old enough to get in and who's parents won't let them see it) and SJWs/feminists who don't go see movies.
Aaand, if the movie fails, it's men's fault.
I actually liked Suicide Squad, except for the totally unbelievable "special" forces guy who wore a ball cap 5 sizes to big for his head.
I like Margo Robbie and thought she was good as Harley. I had no interest in an "angry, crazy chicks beat up men" movie.
Protip: instead of woke Harley, do regular Harley.
Peppermint was a good action movie with a female lead. I'm not a fan of Jennifer Garner, but she handled the role well, obviously spent time training to make her weapon handling as good as Keanu in John Wick.
Action sequences were better than JW2 because in Peppermint they weren't dragged out "guy falls down, guy gets 2nd wind, guy falls down, guy gets 3rd wind" silliness.
While Garner was a mother on a mission of revenge, the same story would have worked had it been a father out for revenge. The lead was female, but that wasn't the fulcrum of the film.
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The "women should cheat" thing is stupid, unless that woman wants to be alone and in the "why can't I find a good guy" crowd.
However, any guy who's ever dated a girl who was codependent will tell you that it's better if she has things to do besides hassle, smother, and just pine for the guy.
I'm going to do things on my own or with my friends. She ought to also have her own hobbies, work, friends, family, whatever to not be trailing after me like an annoying kid sister.
The problem with women and friends and family is that they are always trying to keep each other down and playing jealousy motivated mind games with each other.
So, it's a catch 22. Being with a codependent girl is crap for the guy. If the girl is weak minded and allows the crap her girlfriends and mom/sister are whispering in her ear to take hold, then her behavior will be affected by their jealousy over what she has, a stable situation with a good guy.
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Hindsight, shmindsight. The word knew there was risk when that match occurred.
Of course...we'll be saying the same thing, in a couple weeks, about Mardis Gras and Spring break, etc in the US.
So, yes. It wasn't smart for those ladies to group up like that. But, we, in the US are still winning the "who has most covid19 cases" game.
Many people are still having local get-togethers.
Getting back to the ladies fighting the patriarchy: western society is allowing women to legally confuse "regret" with "rape". Look at Weinstein. Sure, he might be a shady guy. However, none of those women accusing him of impropriety either walked away from him or had a problem with his behavior until the part or career benefits he promised never materialized.
At that point, it becomes regret. It's not sexual assault or rape.
It gets even worse. As Joker points out, women can weaponize this. I have a friend who wasn't interested in a girl's advances. The saying is true: hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
He turns her down. She accuses him of rape.
He knows he's innocent and makes his biggest mistake. When he's arrested, he agrees to talk to the local police (hick town that he was working in, as an out of towner) without an attorney...because he's innocent.
In a truly, real world incident of life imitating art, he winds up in a "My Cousin Vinny" -esque moment. The sheriff in the movie says to the accused, "you shot the clerk." The accused, flabbergasted, replies, "I shot the clerk?!??" At which the sheriff considered this a confession.
Since my friend had no attorney present, the "confession" is legally admissible. The state provided defense attorney has no interest in trial and railroads my confused, scared, freaking out, jailed friend into a plea deal.
It's truly bizzare and absurd. And SCARY. This shit really happens guys.
Just like the goobs who don't fear covid19 because they don't know anyone who's had it: just because you haven't seen it doesn't mean it isn't out there, possibly just around the corner.
Stay safe. Practice social distancing...from females, unless you have reliable witnesses present or a camera recording.
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