Comments by "Vasectomy Fail" (@vasectomyfail442) on "The Onion" channel.

  1. i was raised in st. Louis, and i can assure you,  i am a pathetic excuse for an adult.
    1200
  2. of course he's lazy, his skin is waaay darker than mine, his hair is black and he lives in the same country his ancestors did. what a piece of shit.
    343
  3. 1:31 she is a super hero, LOOK AT THOSE TITS!
    78
  4. i've never served in the armed forces but i have dated a stripper and a camgirl. take that ISIS!
    72
  5. the evil version of himself is a member of the westboro baptist church
    56
  6. 0:00 one of the geico cavemen is riding on that tank (sitting down, white t shirt)
    39
  7. they're cool, duh.
    19
  8. it's actually just a yoga class. win/win
    16
  9. you think your screen is pretty tough, huh?
    15
  10. it's not made up, michelle obama made the same speech in 2008
    8
  11. MySpace was pretty sick, i miss it too dude
    7
  12. i would gladly take care of these kids, i got a big van with no windows, i could pick em all up and take em back to my basement where i have lots of candy and toys. also i'm totally not a pedophile, at all, why would you even ask me such a thing?
    4
  13. there was a kid on my little league team who could shapeshift and it was so annoying, like ozzie smith's backflips, sure it's cool but, just take it somewhere else. baseball isn't about having fun
    3
  14. he's moving to denver for that good good.
    2
  15. suuure, we play games like grab the snake in the pants and kiss where the pee comes out
    2
  16. trump is gonna confefe the fuck outta that european immigrant eyesore
    2
  17. i'm so fuckin hyped for the future!
    2
  18. Davesghola i'm starting to get the feeling he's not even the real batman
    2
  19. i hope i can afford a wife-slave someday.
    2
  20. well, trump is in charge now and he's pretty much better than jesus, so... we good
    1
  21. you can tell this is fake because global warming is realer than a motherfucker. winter doesn't exist anymore at all, thanks people that don't recycle.
    1
  22. amazing. thank you jesus for inventing science.
    1
  23. my son is "a little light in the loafers", would it be weird to get a 9 year old a prostitute for christmas, i could just tell him she's one of santa's elves...
    1
  24. road side rest stops are the safest and cleanest places to use the restroom
    1
  25. retarded inbred wolves are best used for farming, not for trapping them in your apartment all day
    1
  26. sniff, sniff, sniiiiiiiiff
    1
  27. lemme guess, they're appalled at how blacks were mistreated in 13th century Uzbekistan.
    1
  28. let me be the first to say: "penis!"
    1
  29. fools, the real vitamins come from tiger eyelids.
    1
  30. 1:28 those are 60 lb bags
    1
  31. holes can't melt steel beams
    1
  32. didn't somebody invent some kind of ball so you can shake your baby and not kill it, can't they just make a bigger one for these assholes?
    1
  33. this is why i like having women as friends, instead of punching you on the arm they just make out with you
    1
  34. are you going to help me clean the shit out of my pants?
    1
  35. C U Next Tuesday, fatass
    1
  36. and in other news: the average woman becomes a narcissistic, table-dancing-slut after ingesting 4 to 6 alcoholic beverages.
    1
  37. every parade is gay
    1
  38. how'd she get over donny's wall?
    1