Comments by "Me, Myself and I" (@me-myself-i787) on "The Onion" channel.

  1. He's right! Spending drives the economy! Too many people are just saving, investing, etc. These people cause stagnation. They must be held accountable. People who rack up tons of credit card debt buying clothes, tech, visiting theme parks, etc. They're the real heroes.
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  2. ​ @Obi-Wan_Kenobi America was never supposed to be a country. It was always supposed to be a collection of free states which co-operate on trade and foreign policy.
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  3. ​ @ja8898  Well, that's because the police weren't doing a very good job of enforcing littering laws. Homeless people shouldn't be penalised just because some of them don't dispose of their needles properly.
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  4. A message to schizophrenics: We will always be with you. We will never abandon you. Wherever you go, we will follow. We will always be there for you. We see you when you're sleeping. Wouldn't want you to choke. We know when you're awake. We can help you avoid falling over. We know if you've been bad or good. If you let your condition endanger society, we will know. So be good, for goodness' sake! Watch out. Don't cry. Let me tell you why. We are coming for you.
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  5. And his other sister wrote every Illumination film except Despicable Me.
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  6. ​ @maciejrozanski154  This assault magic stuff is nonsense. Fireballs are necessary for self defense because, as we all know, the best defence is a good offence. The only thing that can stop a bad guy with magic is a good guy with magic. When a robber enters your home, throwing fireballs and lightning at you, a magic shield simply won't cut it. You need to fight back using stronger weapons, to knock him out before it's too late. THEN you can contact the Mystic Defence Force. Remember, when seconds matter, the "Wise Wizards" of the MDF are only minutes away.
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  7. ​ @PartisanHypocritesEverywhere  Or maybe they stopped accepting his excuses and fired him. Then, he sued them for wrongful termination because all the excuses were truthful, and that's why they have no money left to make good content anymore.
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  8. ​ @nolanj.3897  I doubt they speak Spanish on his home planet.
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  9. Abortion is a moral choice as well as a medical one.
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  10. More like "Patriotic Teen Fights Mexican Language Requirements" Including fail in the title implies he's a failure, whereas in reality, he succeeded.
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  11. This comment aged like milk. The new MacBooks with the M1 chips are on par with powerful desktop computers.
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  12. Hate speech is not free speech! Mal/Mis/Disinformation is not free speech! Annoying speech is not free speech! Speech I disagree with is not free speech! It's like how "the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed" means that the government is allowed to create long, expensive processes to get permission to bear arms, and the government is allowed to regulate how you use these arms. Free speech means you can talk whenever you want. It does not mean you can say whatever you want.
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  13. ​ @fateless3239  "save the resources in the adoption industry" Killing orphans would also save resources.
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  14. Second replier within the last month to have a profile picture
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  15. ​ @corvoattano4777  She is not actually one of the most influential people, it's just the people who work for TIME Magazine and make these lists think she is.
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  16. ​ @spelcheak  They're both biased terms. The correct term is illegal immigrants.
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  17. ​ @eliftr06  Dealing with an expert is a lot like raising a kid! You have to teach them that they don't know everything, and that they are not necessarily smarter than you.
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  18. Politicians don't do this because there is no guarantee that voters won't just take the money and vote for someone else.
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  19. The Onion must be telling the truth, but pretending it's satire so they don't get taken down
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  20. If you want to get a good score on the son/daughter leaderboard, you have to appear to take care of your parents, even if they're not very good.
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  21. ​ @zakh3108  "But he's so poor. Education is a human right. Rich people like his parents should be required to pay for everyone's university, master's degree, PHD, post-PHD, and megaPHD." - leftists
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  22. ​ @zeuskronos2018  Most of us are being sarcastic. The video's also being sarcastic.
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  23. ​ @susanhughs1031  That's what they want you to believe. The government is really behind NASA. "You're confusing movies with reality, Hector." -Ernesto de la Cruz
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  24. Apparently, they're going to stop after number 12.
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  25. ​ @jacksonroy8720  Well, the other commenters are talking about school, not college.
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  26. ​ @videogamesbecool  They were successful back then. Now, they're a waste of money.
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  27. How's it hanging? How it is hanging! Thank you for standing there. Ok.
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  28. ​ @skjaldbaka9754  Well, maybe she shouldn't touch his private parts.
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  29. ​ @jexafinodine7053  It's a test. If you are unwilling to give up sexual pleasure for God, you clearly don't believe in God. Kind of like wearing mixed fibres. If you're unwilling to put in the effort to buy the correct clothes, you clearly don't really believe. Abrahamic religions are full of sacrifices and tests.
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  30. ​​​​​​ @hannesjakobsson765  That attitude is why people oppose free higher education. "I might not get any use out of this degree, but it's fine. Someone else will pay for it."
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  31. ​ @pinkpink-kb6dl  The joke is that he is an entitled brat who got a useless degree and is now making his parents pay off the debt.
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  32. ​​ @AllofRandom  They can become film critics. Not very profitable, but still.
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  33. ​ @pinkpink-kb6dl  That only applies to fancy furniture and clothes. Plain furniture and clothes don't need design skills.
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  34. There's no way he's right. Surely at least one of the presidents would have exposed NASA? There's just too many people in the know to actually keep it secret.
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  35. ​ @tookiwolfpaint5142  I think you didn't get the joke. No reasonable person actually opposes homeless shelters because of property values.
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  36. Anyone can go to university with minimal cost to the parents if university is taxpayer-funded.
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  37. I don't see why the government even requires permits for something so essential. It's ridiculous. Some people might use these amulets to summon evil spirits, but they will get their amulets from Helland anyway. It only stops good people from accessing essential tools. The only thing that can stop a bad guy with an amulet is a good guy with an amulet.
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  38. Basically, it means the government promises to destroy the money it's printed eventually. Like that's ever gonna happen.
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  39. ​​ @gororo9380  If they paid for their own education, that's great. However, many people want the government to pay for their education, because "an educated society benefits everyone", despite those educated people then using intellectual property and trade secrets to prevent others from benefiting from their work. Also, there are many cheaper alternatives to university which are generally good enough. There are many people who would be willing to choose a less experienced, less well-trained, less safe doctor if it meant they wouldn't have to pay as much for their healthcare. Occupational licensing regulations are denying people this option. Also, 2020 would have been worse if people trusted the government's "experts" more.
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  40. ​ @bimbowithadegree420  I wouldn't want the government allocating resources. That's what the free market is for. And the free market does a much better job of it. Imagine if the government tore down Disneyland to build apartments because "housing is a human right". Or if they decided that we need to spend a ton of money researching anteaters' poop. Or if they decided that researching and developing a better package manager is not worth it, because regular Windows executables are good enough. Imagine if they decided to make it illegal to work on improving Krita because that's taking resources away from improving GIMP, or Photoshop. I wouldn't want "experts" dictating how I spend my time and money.
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  41. 1:34 This reminds me of the sound which plays when you are fixing the communications sabotage in Among US.
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  42. Often, conspiracy theorists are right, but they are not found out about until much later. E.g. the lab leak theory.
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  43. ​ @Canada_Dominium Facebook is simply a vehicle to generate ad revenue for Meta, but it's still a social media platform.
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  44. ​ @lindarinnyo6239  They're just pretending it's satire so that people don't suspect that the government is actually behind NASA. "You're confusing movies with reality, Hector." -Ernesto de la Cruz
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  45. ​ @maxixe3143  Sharon died in the Grenfell fire! She died too soon! She deserved to be brought back. Banning necromancy would have prevented that. Besides, medics' healing spells are a form of necromancy. Should we ban them as well?
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  46. Personally, I blame Dr Tanas.
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  47. ​ @fateless3239  And if you don't want the fetus, you shouldn't have had unprotected sex. In cases of rape, it's different, and I do support abortions, though I would recommend these women to donate blood or organs to save lives.
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  48. ​ @fateless3239  Science doesn't yet have an explanation for everything. There is no scientific consensus about what causes homosexuality, for example. When life starts is a philosophical question rather than a scientific one.
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  49. ​ @fateless3239  Also, what if Alan Turing, or Albert Einstein, or Nikola Tesla was aborted? Society would be far further back.
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  50. ​ @fateless3239  Well, killing animals is also bad. But stopping abortions is far easier than stopping the meat industry.
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