Comments by "Wolf Hugs" (@wolfhugs2221) on "I Tell Trans Person A Very Difficult TRUTH (Heated!) - Katy Jon Went (4K) | heretics. 29" video.

  1. Part way through and this is hard work. He's utterly self involved and so unaware of the anxiety that women have from the presence of men in places they shouldnt be.
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  2. Indeed. Women could take their husbands in if it was a case of someone verifying that this guy is one of the good ones. It's not the point. Ease of mind and dignity. No man, however he wants to think of himself, should be in female only spaces. The social norms exist for a reason.
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  3.  @shadamyandsonamylover  there is a woman suing in New York as she was rped in prison there. Numerous pregnancies have occurred since TIMs started being placed in women's facilities. It isn't paranoia to safeguard women and children.
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  4.  @Theactivepsychos  by expecting to break social norms. Once exceptions are made and men are let into women's spaces, predators follow. There have been numerous attacks in toilets, prisons and changing rooms by men who claimed to be trans. The social norms exist for good reason.
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  5. ​ @Katienixton I find that dangerous. I've worked with predatory people in my job and whenever someone is working at sounding reasonable when they have an unreasonable expectation of others, it sets all my senses on alert. This man has no consideration of his impact on women or that by changing the social norms, predators will be able to access victims in a way they could not before. To be clear, I don't believe this man is a predator, but he doesn't care at all about the consequences to others of his "reasonable" demands.
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  6.  @Theactivepsychos  but he chooses to go into women's spaces - he talked about using the women's changing room at the pool. Predatory men will see his actions and recognise their way to get to victims. It's already happening all over the world, have a Google. There's numerous cases of women being attacked in places they have a right to be safe from men in. The fact that he treats the subject lightly and makes jokes screams misogyny. He has no idea how it feels to be a woman.
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  7.  @tarksurmani6335  he had to walk through the changing room to get to the cubicle, where women will have been changing. So yes, he breached women's boundaries.
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  8.  @slipstreammonkey  then he needs to take it up with the place he's attending, not intimidate women by going into their spaces.
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  9.  @peregrine7303  it's colonisation of women's spaces and treating women as the spoils of war. It is an act of aggression and needs to be responded to as such.
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  10.  @tarksurmani6335  as someone has pointed out on another thread, as the daughter of a single father, he would wait outside for her. No man should be entering female only spaces.
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  11.  @shadamyandsonamylover  it's very simple. Stop placing TIMs in female spaces. Problem solved. If TIMs need their own facility, they need to work towards that, as women had to for their spaces.
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  12.  @tarksurmani6335  so he needs to take his issue up with the place he's visiting, not expect women to have to face a man in a female only space. Do you know why there were female only spaces created? The history of how it came about? Women were being attacked in places where they were vulnerable, like toilets and changing rooms, by some clearly unwell men. Female only spaces exist to protect women from men with mental health problems, not to validate men with mental health problems.
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  13.  @connor5669  in terms of his interaction with the world, he has very little consideration of how his decisions impact others.
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  14.  @shadamyandsonamylover  there's been 12 recorded rps in women's prisons in the UK by TIMs.
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  15.  @sarral2008  Harvard have conducted studies that have found women exist with a heightened anxiety in "neutral" situations, because we know consciously or subconsciously that one half of the population are capable of seeing us off with just their hands. Add to this that Rpe Crisis report that 5 in 6 rpes go unreported and 1 in 4 women have suffered SA. Statistically, the greatest predictor of crime is the sex someone is born as, with 80% of all crimes committed by men - this has remained largely static since records began. There are valid reasons to be concerned about the presence of men in female only spaces.
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  16. Agreed. Watched it with the other half and he said the same.
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  17. ​@awakeningEmpat yes, that's how safeguarding works.
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  18. Agreed. It is unkind to lie, as is imposing yourself in places you aren't supposed to be.
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  19.  @Qrtuop  what I love is that terf was created as an insult and as women have done throughout history, it has been adopted and reimagined as a badge worn with pride.
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  20.  @lyliavix4366  I'm not sure what you're referring to as "making a mountain out of a molehill". Do you know why female only spaces exist?
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  21. @crissieberea4329 the very fact that he said he didn't go in the men's because men don't like it. The women don't either, but because they won't speak up for fear of physical attack (not specific to him, we are wired to not anger men in case they attack us) he believes women should just put up with it? Or he thinks they don't mind? Demonstrating that he is absolutely not a woman. He has no idea.
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  22.  @tarksurmani6335  so the men won't accept it, even though Katy is a bloke. Why should the women accept it?
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  23.  @paulsmith7579  you miss the point. He is only concerned about his feelings. He has no consideration of the impact he has on other people. He quite evidently doesn't notice or care if women are fearful of his presence.
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  24.  @ponygirl1716  it insane this has to be stated. Our female ancestors had to fight for women only spaces to be created. The fact we're having to argue for it again, when crime stats make it self evident that they are still needed, is such a stain on modern life.
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  25.  @tarksurmani6335 you misunderstand what "family" spaces in changing rooms are for. A woman with a couple of kids under 5, who needs to dry and change both herself and her kids, will have a problem trying to keep those kids from running around in an open plan changing room. The larger cubicle is designed to keep them altogether. The law requires separate spaces for men and women, so the cubicle was absolutely not intended for some larping bloke to use. We are well aware that he has no issue, but his rights end where other people's rights start.
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  26. It is abuse. Have you seen Mr Menno's Munro Bergdorf parody? Small thing but good to see a bloke call it what it is.
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  27. Thankyou for your work. Just this comment section alone has identified a pattern to me that I find interesting. In summary, I stated that women's boundaries should not be transgressed by men, however those men identify. I was asked what those men should do. I said, not my problem to resolve. I was then told, by someone who appears to be a man, that I should debate and negotiate. I have worked with predators in my job and I have come to understand that negotiation with someone who is willing to transgress your boundaries makes them believe they can push you further. The answer is no and it is not negotiable. Basic rule to repel abusers. But there are a lot of people in these comments who expect women to tolerate abuse, of which men being in women's spaces is.
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  28.  @paulsmith7579  he said he didn't use the men's changing room because men don't like it, whilst caring nothing for the women, who have good reason to fear men being in spaces they shouldn't be. If it isn't pure self interest on his part, it's misogyny.
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  29.  @paulsmith7579  because it isn't my problem to find a solution to - I did not create it. If separate changing areas are needed, the organisations supporting trans people should be working towards that, not expecting women to forgo the boundaries that keep them safe and have men in spaces they should not be. If he had any concern for the impact on women, he wouldn't go into women's spaces. His safety due to the choices he has made are not women's responsibility to resolve. The presence of men in female only spaces is dangerous and there have already been numerous cases of women being attacked in places they should be safe, by people who have claimed to be trans. The fact that so many trans people dismiss or ignore this danger demonstrates an obvious self involvement, or misogyny.
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  30.  @tarksurmani6335  no, men don't use the family cubicle in the female changing rooms.
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  31.  @jossangeles4011  good point. I suspect living that way would necessitate being impervious to other people, but it sounded more like someone sounding off to their mate in the pub than a conversation.
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  32.  @breohtbrusmid489  he did have a choice, he could have used the men's. If he didn't want to use that space, why did he not ask staff for help? His decision to change his body is not a problem for women to resolve.
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  33.  @paulsmith7579  when a cat approaches a mouse, the mouse does not wonder if it's a nice cat. The mouse knows that the cat in their territory is a threat to their safety. If there was no question of safety and dignity, we would not have separate changing areas. They exist for good reason. It doesn't matter what a man is or isn't in character. He is a man and should never assume any right to enter female only spaces. The fact that this man did so, demonstrates self involvement or misogyny. He didn't say he was in danger in the men's changing room, he said men don't like it. Women don't like it, so why choose to impose himself on women, when he is man? Once again, this is not a problem created by women and is not for women to find a solution to. But the colonisation of women's spaces and language is an act of aggression against women.
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  34.  @paulsmith7579  trans people do not have an automatic right to enter female only spaces, those who have got away with it have done so because women fear challenging them. It's not for me to convince people of my argument. My position is simply to hold the line against this attack by men against women. I call out what I see and hear. I listened to the interview and I saw a man, likely an AGP, displaying either self involvement or misogyny. Being nice is what has got women into a mess. It isn't nice to disregard the boundaries and dignity of half the population, but this person does because they believe their feelings and those of other men are more important than the safety of women and girls. Someone who believes that is in no place to expect people to be nice to them.
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  35. Another tomboy here. Always climbing and exploring, lived in the countryside so trousers were practical. Could never stand skirts because they would get stuck on stuff, ride up etc. I'm the least surprised person at the news this week that schoolgirls do less physical activity at playtime because of school uniform skirts. Trousers or shorts make far more sense.
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  36.  @tarksurmani6335  I would appreciate you making your answers concise rather than so much word salad.
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  37.  @roxytocin8639  I remember having an experience like that as a kid with an uncle. Aunt had gone to the shops and left us in the car. They didn't have kids and my uncle had no idea what to do when I said I needed the loo. Poor bloke. He sorted it though.
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  38.  @paulsmith7579  the backlash is only just getting started.
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  39.  @lyliavix4366  why did he go into the women's with your daughter? Why not go into the men's? As women take their young sons into the ladies?
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  40. That's the thing. This guy is talking as though there's a happy medium or halfway point. There isn't, as to compromise means risking women and children's safety.
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  41.  @slipstreammonkey  because people have been fearful of speaking up. That is changing. If I found this bloke in a female space I would immediately complain.
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  42. The barman, like so many others, will have thought he was being polite and courteous by going along with the delusional customer. This is why so many of these blokes believe they "pass". They don't realise people are trying to be nice, but as we should all know from having read The Boy Who Cried Wolf when we were children, telling lies has unintended consequences that are never good. It isn't kind to lie, so people should use the pronouns that fit with what they see.
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  43. @crissieberea4329 nicely put.
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  44.  @azkadeliaray521  why are toilets and changing rooms separated by sex?
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  45. This is weird. I'm subscribed but this wasn't in my list. I know about it because a friend shared it.
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  46.  @VesnaVK  exactly.
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  47.  @lyliavix4366  I asked if you knew why female only spaces exist.
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  48.  @lyliavix4366  do you know why female only spaces exist?
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  49. It's disturbing how many comments are saying he's honest. I don't see that. I see manipulation and like you, I would be afraid to find this bloke in women's spaces.
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  50.  @KatyJonWent  this sounds egotistical. Someone advocating safe spaces for women is not being puritanical or absolutist. They are defending places that had to be hard won, where women can be in vulnerable positions without fear of predatory men. I appreciate this is not something that men tend to think about about, but the reality for women is that men present danger and women are always on alert. It doesn't matter what the man or those who know him personally think of him. If we could simply verify the safety of men based on someone's opinion, spaces would be shared. The most common SA crimes against women are vyeurism and exhibitionsm. Allowing men into women's spaces will not reduce these crimes.
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  51.  @KatyJonWent  the use of chaff and redirect is tiresome. However. Expecting people in an advocacy position to remain consistent is hardly absolutist. People who allow their language to be manipulated will find themselves in unexpected positions that are rarely advantagous to them. Using incorrect language, like calling a man a woman, begins to blur the facts and causes confusion. It is unkind to everyone to lie. Your position is not defensible and having listened to Andrew's interview of you, I have heard nothing to support the statements you make. You appear to attempt to sow doubt where there is none.
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  52. The don't want their own spaces, they want access to women's spaces.
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  53.  @connor5669  how so?
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  54. Eddie Izzard uses the ladies toilets, he's been photographed in the queues. Another bloke that looks like a bloke, sounds like a bloke and walks like a bloke.
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  55.  @starrynight1329  I've never understood skirts, they always seemed to be a form of restriction and when doing a practical job like nursing, why would the employer want to make life harder? When I was a kid, the local midwife used to cycle everywhere (she covered a few villages back when people in the countryside tended to have homebirths) and she'd made herself these sort of pantaloon style trousers and altered her dresses into tops only. Definitely not regulation and I don't know how she got away with it, but she'd trained in London during ww2 and was eccentric at the same time as no nonsense. She was popular with the mums so must have been good at her job. Guess her bosses wouldn't risk confronting her!
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  56. Agreed. If he turned up in changing rooms I'd freak out. He's so obviously a man.
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  57.  @sarral2008  men that take female hormones have made a choice.
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  58.  @lyliavix4366  funnily enough, housing was the area I worked in and there is male specialist help available, but there is far less of it as DA is perpetrated overwhelmingly more often by men and the danger is far higher, as women are more likely to be killed by a partner or ex partner. Trauma informed therapy is clear - just the presence of a man can further traumatise women. Women's only shelters are needed because of male pattern violence, which does not change when a man wants to identify into someone else's demographic. I note that you did not answer my previous question but moved onto to something else. Why is that?
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  59.  @KatyJonWent  this sounds egotistical. Someone advocating safe spaces for women is not being puritanical or absolutist. They are standing up for places that had to be hard won, where women can relax, without fear of predatory men. I appreciate this is not something that a man will have had to think about, but the reality for women, is that men present danger. It doesn't matter what the man or those who know him personally think of him. If we could simply verify the safety of men, spaces would be shared. The most common SA crimes against women are voyeurism and exhibitionism. Allowing men into women's spaces will not reduce these crimes. Women's spaces exist to protect women, not to validate men.
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  60. Some people have sensible boundaries and see manipulation when it occurs.
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  61.  @azkadeliaray521  so where's the happy medium where women's safety can be assured?
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  62.  @logancollier524  you miss the point.
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  63. 79% of the SA that occur in toilets and changing areas are in unisex areas.
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  64. It's relief to read that some people can see through the facade. It's a kind of grooming and doesn't change the reality. If one is let in, the word no will mean nothing to anyone. Women's spaces are single sex for a reason and all of the "nice" women are creating danger for others.
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  65.  @lyliavix4366  why did he not take the daughter into the men's and guard the cubicle door? Why did he see fit to go into the ladies? The idea of "tolerance" seems so reasonable until you've witnessed the way predators use this to push boundaries. They will try various ways of pushing their victim's boundaries until you have situations where people are being horrendously abused and don't realise it. Female spaces exist to protect women from men with mental health issues, not to validate them. If a separate space is needed for trans people, that loud and privileged community could work towards achieving that. They seem rather more focused on abusing women.
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  66.  @lyliavix4366  you've no experience in this recently, evidently.
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  67.  @nic1317  seems pretty self explanatory. Which bit are you struggling to comprehend?
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  68.  @nic1317  what makes you think I'm angry?
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  69.  @ehyeh365  he described people who believe in the binary as a cult. I've worked with offeders and over the years have learned to spot tells. The early admonishing of those who present opposition is usually a control tactic, as it works to make people want to be anything other than whatever the "bad" people are. You're absolutely right to protect your boundaries and your family. I do see narcissistic traits here and would be very cautious of someone who speaks the way this person does.
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  70. It was interesting that he chose to go in the women's changing rooms rather than the men's, because "the men don't like that". Not a single consideration as to how women feel about his being in their space. The misogyny just leaks out.
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  71. ​ @Poecilia1963 women are better at identifying male and female faces than men and can spot them, as can AI.
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  72. ​ @P.A.M.733 there's been a couple of cases now where women have been forced back into the cubicle as they tried to leave by blokes. Who of course claimed to be trans. Men have significantly higher immediate strength than women - if you find a man of the same weight and height as you, he will be able to punch around 160% harder than you can. The reason the female only spaces exist was because when women started to move more freely in society and use public toilets, there were so many assaults. It is reflective of a complete failure to teach history and biology that so many women are so unaware of the dangers they are inviting in.
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  73. The "compromise" appears to be the whole of society upturning social norms, which exist for safety and dignity, to appease a small number of people who are suffering with a psychological issue.
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  74. Agreed. Andrew needs to get a fetish expert on to explain this. It's tough to get your head around.
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  75.  @tarksurmani6335  the separation of women and men is based on the fact that women are at greater risk of assault from men. The separation exists for safeguarding women. As a man, he has no right to women's spaces and language and his presence puts women in danger. You cannot self identify into someone else's demographic. Or do you support the idea of black face? This man is simply using woman face.
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  76.  @tarksurmani6335  why should women have to accept a man in their space? Why is this man's actions the responsibility of women to deal with? He is a man and should be using the men's spaces. If he wants his own space, he should work towards that end, not impose on women. What's difficult to understand here? Female spaces exist to protect women from men, not to validate confused men. No man has any right to be in a female space.
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  77.  @tarksurmani6335  YouTube is deleting answers, so I will ask again. Do you agree with bl@ck face?
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  78.  @vanillamarshmallow  exactly. Whenever a third space is created, they don't use them. I worked with one and there were so many complaints about him using the women's spaces. There were 2 individual, gender neutral toilets provided, but he wanted to use the female spaces. My employer dealt with this issue by introducing flexible working. So now everyone works at home. The law needs to be changed to natal sex so employers have clear guidance.
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  79.  @sarafontanini7051  how many TIMs have been murdered by men vs women murdered by men? We keep hearing how tough trans people have it but seem to have forgotten the danger women are in.
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  80.  @sarafontanini7051  how many women are murdered each year by men? How many women have been attacked in female only spaces by men who then claim to be trans? Why do these men believe women's safety should be sacrificed for them? Misogynistic much?
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  81.  @pelicanvibe  an average of 3 women are killed every week by men. There is far less violence towards trans identified males, because they look like men so are less likely to be attacked.
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  82. ​ @paulsmith7579 you miss my point. He is a larping man, which impacts on other people, yet the only perspective he's interested in is his own.
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  83. It's the perfect example of the fact that the world is still dominated by men, for anyone who doesn't believe it. It is not a radical act for the master to ban the subordinates from his house. It is a radical act for the subordinates to ban the master from their space.
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  84. There needs to be trans prisons.
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  85.  @shadamyandsonamylover  they're men. By simply enforcing the rule that existed for centuries, of not allowing men into women's spaces, the problem is solved.
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  86.  @AnnaDalen2497  the answer is simple - every country needs a prison for trans identifying people. It is not possible to change sex, so male or female prisons are not the right places for them. A third category needs to be created.
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  87. Agreed. They are female only spaces for good reason.
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  88.  @azkadeliaray521  trans people midgender themselves. To call them by their biological sex is telling the truth. It's wrong to lie.
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