Comments by "Sammy B" (@sammyb1651) on "The difference between MASCULINE and FEMININE COMMUNICATION: information versus experience" video.

The very simple answer is (leaving all the technical/evolutionary explanations aside), they're looking for MORE than they offer to a partner themselves. in other words, they want to be emotionally supported, they do NOT want to be emotionally supportive. So you have to decide whether you think that's worth it-particularly bearing in mind (if you are a man offering more than she provides) you're unlikely to experience much gratitude for that.
20
@HD46409 That's probably a valid observation. The sad thing is I think it's basically insoluble now for the vast, vast majority of men. I'm not defeatist, I just think the strategising of PUA's and gurus etc is a really poor return on investment, time wise. Better to make men aware that-for the most part-they can expect a fairly predictable relationship trajectory and life cycle. 1. Love bombing where you're made to feel like the best person in the world 2. Lots of performative vulnerability from her which you cater to, instinctively believing it's the right thing to do as a "good guy" 3. Numerous concessions given during that period to assuage her vulnerabilities (financial and legal commitments etc) 4. Diminishing returns as she begins to take those gains for granted. 5. Resentment (from her) as she's no longer continuing to make gains at the same rate, 6. Disposal when she decides she can consolidate the gains while no longer having to deal with the man. And start to look for novel gains elsewhere. The only real variation seems to be the exact timescale/lifecycle, but it all conforms to the above model in substance. Exceptions might be extremely high status men (not just rich, extremely famous AND rich), who might possess the added quality of making her friends jealous, but even that seems to taper off for the most part. There are countless examples of those types that also get rinsed once their careers are on the decline.
3
@Junoj101 Yes, agreed and understood. I've done precisely as you have. I'd leave before it became insufferable. But that's my point. The PUA "frame" prescription is largely nonsense. It's more about the female having her own sh!t together in the first place. Broadly speaking. If she hasn't then all the "frame" in the world won't help you. Frame is a bit of a cope because the truth (that it's largely out of mens hands) is uncomfortable. Success is far more to do with the woman not being a raging lunatic. Obviously recognise sh!t tests for what they are but beyond that "frame" game is just cosplay to make people feel better.
3
@HD46409 Essentially correct. In other words, make sure you're appreciated. For a very high level analysis however you neglect to mention the bit that makes this (virtually) impossible in most cases. This being the law of diminishing returns. Sadly much of the benefit of the association (as perceived by women) is front-ended. Marriage typically brings the house and children...both huge objectives and typically achieved in 20's/30's. After that, what's the perceived benefit? Keeping the house and children? They've already got that so the appreciation factor is waining anyway. Plus they can retain those 'gains' without having to continue to deal with the man or show him appreciation because the law grants them continued access to his resources after divorce. So why put up with the man? The gains have already been made. At that point it's off to indulge other feelings and "re-discover herself" after years of endless slaving etc etc yawn.
2
@HD46409 Fair assessment. PUA advice has efficacy in short to mid term (at very, very best) relationships. And short term relationships are easy anyway, so it's virtually a non-factor. Manufacturing "dread" (lol btw) over a longer period of time sounds like the most draining, waste of energy endeavour possible. And going back to what I said before, virtually none of them achieve it.
2
@Junoj101 Yes, that's all great (and known throughout the manosphere now), however it's not a blueprint for a successful relationship. By "successful", I mean a relationship that isnt a COMPLETE PITA. In other words, you can behave rationally (thus discharging the masculine performative burden alluded to above) however it doesn't stop the relentless sh!t tests that make your life hell on earth. Having a blueprint for "success" doesn't actually result in outcomes worth the considerable effort. That's where the PUA's are being dishonest about their magic formulae.
1