Comments by "Sammy B" (@sammyb1651) on "The SUPERFICIALITY of DESIRE: we're shallow and we can work with it" video.

  1. Agreed. It's net zero from the point of view of a 'fairer' exchange between the sexes if it's practiced at a population level. It makes no odds whether people try harder or less hard, the dial just shifts accordingly to a new median.  Outside of that you can obviously make the point that-from a societal perspective-it's better if people try harder than less hard. As individual advice it has greatest merit. Ultimately however it's still only really worth it if it's done for your own edification principally rather than to "boost your attractiveness" in the eyes of someone else.
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  2. Accept it for what it is-have empathy for the fact it's an evolutionary hardwiring-don't become embittered by it.  However if you decide to "play the game" and manage to increase your attractiveness through real effort, make it damn clear you're fully aware what you're valued for and what that commands by way of a fair exchange. Sexual politics have to move on now. We can't accept this binary: men=awful patriarchs superficially attracted to looks/women=downtrodden oppressed saints who see beyond looks and value 'character' nonsense any longer. The internets has exposed it for what it is: a complete fiction. Shining sunlight on that horrible misrepresentation is long overdue and will hopefully yield a healthier and more balanced view of/understanding between the sexes.
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  3. It isnt reconcilable. It's unreconcilable with any sense of romantic love in fact. That's where it will ultimately meet resistance and falter.  People want a sense of comfort and safety in their lives, including their personal lives. (Possibly above all in their personal lives!). Typically people seek service from others, but comfort for themselves. We're accustomed to mens preferences being shamed while simultaneously womens preferences are endorsed and lauded. That's a system that essentially seeks to offer comfort to the female while subjecting the male to discomfort.  Dr Orion is essentially advocating for a greater performative burden/greater equity in value exchange. That's fair. But it's uncomfortable. As the (main) beneficiaries of the illusion of romantic love, women have more to lose in adopting this particular methodology.  The only rational counter argument to any of the above it is to say that there is no growth in comfort. Self improvement should be practised for it's own sake. Here again though this message generally plays better to men than women. Women's preference tends to be for feel good bromides; the sort of thing that praises her for being perfect as she is while being deserving of better in her partner.
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  4.  @annesmith9181  Very good comment. It's really worthwhile remembering the adjustment that ought to be made. PsycHacks (just like every YouTuber) is obviously tailoring his message according to his audience/catering to their biases.  Most people do end up married (with a question mark over how happily, as most will probably also end up divorced). But yes, the viewership of this channel are probably statistical outliers. I'd challenge what you said about most people being physically ugly though. I don't think that's been accurate historically. From a male perspective I'd say most girls looked reasonably attractive when young and became fairly unattractive as they reached their late 30's/early 40's. Nowadays though girls particularly are incredibly overweight even when young. Many are no longer even that attractive at their most attractive time of life. It's astonishing. Again, talking about the West only.
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