Comments by "Wobbles And Bean" (@WobblesandBean) on "The Villains"
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@TheTwinFiles It's almost never out of the blue. I guarantee there were signs this shipmate showed that were blatantly ignored, because other men just don't see those signs as problematic.
Signs like, a hateful opinion of women, or certain sexist comments said when there are only other men present, or a previous history of violence and abuse. Guys tend to overlook this stuff, and then are somehow surprised when their buddy turns out to be a monster.
Myself and most other women I know have been in at least one abusive relationship. Without exception, every time one of us tried to reach out for help, his guy friends wouldn't believe us. "Well, he's never been like that around me." "He and I go way back, I know he'd never do that." And my favorite, "Hey, so I asked him if he did it and he said no."
Another example involves my ex who worked at Rocksteady game studios. He was best friends with the girl who publicly released that document full of signatures from female employees, saying they'd experienced s. harassment. He flat out said he didn't believe her. This thing had dozens of examples of gender discrimination, including her own, and my ex just flat out accused all of them of lying, despite only barely knowing the alleged perpetrator. My ex believed him over his best friend, and the 30+ other women all backing her up with similar stories.
TL;DR, The warning signs are always there. It's just that people refuse to see them until it's too late.
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