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GTW
The Onion
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Comments by "GTW" (@gtw4546) on "The Onion" channel.
Your comment was obviously written before 2020. Plague doctors are not only making a come-back, but I hear they've formed a strong union.
11
Ahhh, but families ARE stackable. The trick is to first place each member in a coffin (preferably wooden rectangular ones); then they stack quite nicely.
9
@Edward Tew Sorry, but I've seen the same thing from childless people. I suspect that the real difference is the "carefree" teenagers are spending their parents' money rather than their own earnings.
8
I've been getting Onion interspersed with Veratsium and Twilight Zone.
7
The only thing missing is "hidden camera" footage of what she's REALLY like at home with her kids.
7
Covid would be a good excuse with so many people on Zoom.
5
This is prescient. It reminded me of a case, so I took the time to look it up. This Onion was done ONE YEAR BEFORE the case. Skylar Annette Neese was an American teenage girl who disappeared from her home in Star City, West Virginia around midnight on July 6, 2012. Neese's remains were found on January 16, 2013, in Wayne Township, Greene County, Pennsylvania. Neese was murdered by two of her high school friends, Shelia Eddy and Rachel Shoaf.
4
Maybelline 2020 missed a golden opportunity with so many people on Zoom.
4
We've gone from mind vacations and mind college degrees to mind body/sex/age/race/species transformations! Who would have predicted such amazing progress in only 10 short years?
3
Hmmm. I find the abduction story suspect.
2
"They are solitary, sedentary creatures." OMG - it sounds like he just described HIMSELF. Genius!
1
Yeah, and I'd never noticed the ARROW before!
1
Scott McKay is such a virtue-signalling prig.
1
I laughed just from reading the thumbnail. As a Prius driver, I'm offended!
1
I had to watch it over to appreciate the scrolling at the bottom. "Intellectual stimulus package" - oh, Bernie, Bernie!
1
My parents were immigrants so we were always making do with whatever was on hand. My siblings and I grew up using butter knives in place of screwdrivers and a candelabrum for a mom stick.
1
"Isolated and socially degenerative cocoon" - wow - 8 years before 2020!
1
Perfect, even to the way they cut off the congressional hearing at the end.
1
The unpleasant truth: To suck up to our dad for a job versus living in our mom's basement is a tough decision.
1
I love the logo/title "The Whole Body" which is immediately cut in two and split apart.
1
2020: The year everyone became guinea pigs for this research.
1