Comments by "" (@stephenbachman132) on "The Onion" channel.

  1. Use your construction worker skills to give them cement shoes for the sea. Lets see if their wallets open up then.
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  2. I believe this has potential to lead to some cutting edge research
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  3. What About a Spam and Pineapple pizza with Mayonnaise dipping sauce. Pretty sure that would get rejected by a starving dog.
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  4. So let me get this straight. A man wearing a navy blue jacket was not seen and ran over by the hosts car. But unfortunetly for him he was not just hit and rolled over he was caught an dragged for 6 minutes by the car. An when the Host realized what he had done. Decided it best not to call an ambulance he decided to step on the mans throat until he stopped breathing. An this all happened while his 9 year old was watching. Well its not manslaughter. Its a open an shut case of suicide. An yes i do own a hacksaw.
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  5. In the multiverse theory this would be a real timeline an news report.
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  6. Put uranium 235 in the collider. See what that does.
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  7. Probably closer to the truth then we know
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  8. You have so much ammo today Onion. Why no new videos. There is so much crazy an stupid in this world you barely have to even tweak the truth.
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  9. As long as the oil is ok America will not intervene.
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  10. Quigley will die but not before Human. Quigley attacks Human.
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  11. Its no wonder you Americans suck at war. You just sit around watching movies.
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  12. I have a question. Why do Countries need nuclear weapons. All they are designed to do is blow up cities indiscriminately. I can't imagine that will ever be nessary.
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  13. One of these kids will be "Evil Emporer of the Whole world "
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  14. So buzzfeed future. 5 years ago the onion predicted reality.
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  15. I would play this game. Why. Mmmm i don't know boredom.
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  16. Haha past me that would create a nuclear explosion
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  17. Thats not what autism looks like. Thats ocd.
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  18. Flint Michigan water disaster. All the lead poisoning could have been prevented.
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  19. Matt didn't bring Shame.
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  20. I believe they use ADHD tablets to keep their mind focused.
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  21. I don't know anything about this 800 page document about identity politics. What i do know is not locking down when the virus intially spread to America, not building a Giant wall with a middle finger painted every 10 miles on the Mexican side. I can't say he did a great job. He messed up about the same as other typical politicians.
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  22. There is nothing about Israel in this video.
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  23. This didn't age well
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  24. Sad to say "George Bush Jnr" got elected twice, how im not American no idea but that actually happened.
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  25. Pay the bastard you bastards. I support Rodreigo's Bounty he placed on your heads to the columbian cartel.
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  26. My question why do women keep marrying these MOAB boys (mother of all bombs) an giving them children. Would it not be easier to let their bloodline die.
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  27. I agree with the scientist. Seems legit
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  28. I have been in a lot of fights. Really only 1 thing happens you both get hurt. Honestly i hate fighting. Not worth all the trouble.
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  29. God it feels good to be a straight white man who doesn't care about offending anyone. Your feelings mean nothing to me get over yourself.
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  30.  @ScrubLordKyle  i guess. But i deserve it because maybe its Maybolene
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  31. How has Susan Woke-jisk-ki not nuked this channel. Funny stuff.
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  32. You could just slash their tyre when they stop somewhere
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  33. Maybe he is a male giggilo on the side an gets paid to have sex with women. That would make a guy pretty happy.
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  34. Sounds like Matt was more a man then kids young adults today. Young adults today still do what their parents tell them to do.
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  35. Meh there are worse people in the world.
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