Youtube comments of Denise Bacher (@denisebacher5040).
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I’m merely 22 minutes in and I’m sobbing. For all you kids and for my inner child.
My abuse started at roughly 6. May be earlier, but my father ( not one my abusers) remembered the first time I told him what going on I was 6.
It was my eldest brother, who was 13. I told after the 3rd attack because I was very sore down there.
My mother took my brother’s side. Said, by telling, I was “tearing the family apart” and that I “just refuse to be a good girl”.
After her punishing me, I never again told my dad. And I tried to keep it from my mom because I didn’t want her to know I was being a “bad girl”.
Soon my brother brought in the second oldest brother. They would even sexually assault me in the family car, in a parking lot with people walking by. One time an adult male came up and took his junk out and was stroking watching what was going on. Not kidding.
When I was 9 I went to spend the weekend with my aunt and my two cousins. The elder of the two cousins brought me to meet some of his friends. He sold me to them for $25. He swore if I fought the boys he’d tell my mom I was “bad again”.
When I turned 12 my parents divorced and my mom had to get a job ( up to that point she had my father working 2 full time jobs). Well she didn’t like that so she hooked up with someone she KNEW was a pedophile ( she worked with his teen stepdaughter who had confided he was abusing her) and pretty much gave me to him if he’d work to support her and us kids.
The abuse from my brothers was still ongoing, so at 12 years old I was coming to avoid going home if I could. But I had a younger sister and I could tell the pedo was interested in her, so I stayed and kept the abuse on me. For just over 6 more years.
By the time I was 18 my stepdad did make his move on my sister and when I found out I told my mom I was going to cops. But soon I was talked out of that by my mom. Assured that it would never happen again. And she was right. It didn’t. For my sister.
As a family we went to Knotts Berry Farm and my stepdad was sexually molesting me every chance he got.
And at 19 I moved out and got my own place.
Oh throughout all that time all my brothers ( I actually have 3 but the one closest to me in age never sexually touched me) were allowed to choke me, smash my head into walls, and any other physical abuse they wanted. If I complained or cried out my mom would say “Denise leave your brothers alone.”
I’ve attempted suicide twice. I don’t drink or use drugs because I don’t like the feeling of losing my faculties. Makes me feel vulnerable. Plus I’m sure I could easily become an alcoholic or drug addict because of wanting to drown these memories.
And in adulthood I’ve been raped twice.
So, yes, I so can relate to your family’s story.
Oh, I finally told my dad about the abuse continuing well past 6yo. It devastated him. Any time he spoke to me after that he’d apologize that he didn’t save me. I wish I had never told him. I lost him when I was 31 years old. And with his death there went the only family member that gave a crap about me.
My sister says that because I let it go on so long I must have been enjoying it. That was truly the biggest betrayal.
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When I was in my early teens my sister, who is 5 years younger, would push, hit or just even verbally be mean to her friends. And with her always complaining to my mom, it became my job to help her win back her friends. Then of course my sister would be angry her friends wanted to play with me and not her so she’d AGAIN lose the friends and my mom would again tell me to go help my sister get her friends back. And then my sister would complain to my mom that I was trying to steal her friends. Yep there I was at 13, wishing I could hang out with 8year olds instead of kids my age, who I called my best friends.
Oddly my mom believed it because she’d say “Dee you’re supposed to help her make up with her friends not monopolize her friends!”
But then, if my brothers ( I have 3) came up to physically harass me ( like bending my arm behind my back, spitting snot into my hair, pulling my hair or, my brother Tom’s fave, forcing my face into his sweaty armpit) my mom would say “Denise leave your brothers alone! “
So I can relate a bit to Christie’s frustration .
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I was so excited when, at work, I saw the notification for a new video from you!
I’m at the beginning of his life and I’m wondering if Steven was abused by mom ( and maybe dad) and that’s why he was so withdrawn and didn’t want to live with her.
Not making excuses, but … we know how often these killers have had horrific experiences in childhood. And her resenting being a single mom… why did she get custody then. Especially as Steven didn’t want to live with her. Dad didn’t want him either, I feel.
Again NOT an excuse for being a serial killer.
I feel so bad for all the women, but Suzanne! Thinking she’s escaped, running for her life, probably screaming and NO ONE investigates the screaming.
Oh and the moment Steven got rid of my dogs THAT would have been when I leave him. He nearly kills you, won’t take you to hospital, laughs that you’re going to die and then does away with the dogs and you stay?!?! I nearly stabbed my husband for nearly running over my pomeranian puppy, on purpose, in front of our daughter.
Instead I kicked him out.
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HAPPY CHRISTMAS and New Year, Danielle!
I’m so glad I found your channel!
JUST WOW, to this story! I sobbed so hard thinking about all those children and Ed thinking they were going to die! Bravo to Ed and Mike!! ( Truly very sorry Mike had a hard life, I pray that is at an end!)
Also sobbed thinking of the reunion between parents and children. Those parents had to be going out of their minds wanting their children back!
I once lost my daughter for 3 hours and I was freaking out!
Her and her older sister ( they were 8 and 9 at this point) would get off the bus together, which dropped them at the gate to our community. They then would run to my condo which was 200 -300 feet from the gate. I could see the bus stop from my living room window.
Well they both got off, let themselves into the community and the older daughter ran home, but the younger one was talking with a friend who lived in the complex.
The older one told me that when she hurried in the door. So I’m not upset she did hurry right home. But 10-15 minutes go by and she’s still not back so I tell the older one to listen for my infant ( 6 months old who was napping) while go get the missing child.
But there was no sign of my daughter. The friend said they parted ways and she had no idea where she went. I walked around our complex asking anyone I saw if they saw her. Nope.
Went back to my house thinking she was there. Nope. But the baby is awake, so I send the 9 year old out to look and ask other kids in the complex ( she knew where all the friends’ houses were whereas I just knew a handful).
She came back and said some kids said her sister had gone to this one house where every now and then the grandchild of the owners would be visiting ( my daughter and the grandchild were close friends). But my elder daughter knocked and no one answered. But the kids said someone had answered the door.
I got the 6mo occupied in eating a snack and went off again this time to the last place my daughter was at.
I knocked and knocked and then their neighbor came out said she thought they were gone. So I wandered around some more, calling my daughter in THE mom voice. Using her whole name. No sign.
I’m freaking out. I go back to where’s she’s last seen and another neighbor says she’s sure the couple hadn’t left because she had just seen the woman closing her blinds. So I start knocking and knocking not giving up this time. This couple was not deaf or elderly so there’s no reason they could not hear my knocking.
Soon I was banging and still nothing.
I got to their backyard, climbed over their fence and walked up to their back door and knocked.
The lady came to the door startled and angry. And I explained I was looking for my daughter and before I called the cops I figured I’d ask them personally.
Sure enough my daughter was there!! The couple and my daughter were watching movies in their den they had made into a movie room!!
“It’s hard to hear anything in there because of the speaker system.”
I went off about them having my daughter in their house. The woman was indignant and her husband acted all “well let’s calm down, ladies”.
I took my daughter and left through their front door!
And then I lectured both my daughters that the new rules of my house was to come instantly when you get off the bus and to ALWAYS tell me where they were. That became the rule for my baby when she got older as well.
And that middle child was grounded for a day from anything but books for 2 days for the scare she gave me.
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My daughter, who is now 25, was on Kik and a male did this. He presented as male though. But he was talking to my daughter, her friend from school and her friend who lived in Canada.
He said he was 13 like them and said he wanted to see their boobs. Her school friend said “okay” and sent.
The Canadian friend said “F off!”
My daughter, who ALWAYS used social media sitting next to me, told me, and I said “He’s not a minor. Tell him to F off like Deanna. And tell Isabel she better go tell her mom or I will!”
I then got a Kik account and sought him out and sent him a message that I was onto his ass and he’d do well to get off the app.
My girls weren’t allowed to be on an app if I didn’t have the password to the app and I also then had an account on the app.
In fact, when my daughter made a TikTok account she took my phone and put it on my phone and made me an account, because she knew the rules. And she was 18 at the time!🤣
She’s 25, living on her own, and I even have the passcode to her phone and her PIN for her bank. And she knows those things of mine. No secrets.
I’m not that close with my other 4 daughters but they knew I was only doing those things to keep them safe.
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I’m less than 10 minutes into your video and I agree that bullying has serious consequences on the people being bullied.
My youngest was 13 when we switched schools for the 3rd time on her. That didn’t seem to be detrimental to her. We’d have her friends from her last school down on weekends or she’d stay with them.
But she started in 7th grade and her second day she was accosted by girls trying to be Regina Georges.
They asked her where she was from, complimented her hair and other inanities. Then the Queen Regina asked her “So do you have a crush on any of the boys?”
My daughter explained to her that because it was her second day in a new school she didn’t know anybody. Regina said “ Oh, so you’re a lesbian! That’s all you had to say, sweetie! I don’t think we’ve had any lesbians here in this school. Or the district.”
And with that to Regina‘s locked away, and then the bullying started. Shoving her into lockers, tripping her spitting on her, shoving her as they’re running track. And so many more physical things. The mental abuse was even worse and all those physical things were only done, at first, by girls.
The boys were doing sexual, physical and mental things.
She’d come home pleading to never go back. This from a daughter who used to plead to go school when she was sick. Who was class president in every year of her elementary. Who volunteered for all projects the school had.
I’d go down and be yelling at school staff but nothing was changing. And my husband was caught up in an affair he was having so he had checked out of parenting ( my daughter and I had no idea about the affair). If I pushed him to get involved he’d yell at me that she just needed to toughen up.
Years later he’d say he didn’t remember at all that she was being bullied and said I made it up. 🙄😑
My daughter’s home room/science teacher even joined in . She had badly sprained her ankle and couldn’t participate in PE. PE teacher is okay with that and tells her to just do her homework.
A week into my daughter’s sprain ( her pediatrician said to keep it braced for 3 weeks and come back because they couldn’t really tell if there was a break because her foot was so very swollen), the science teacher comes in and would make snide remarks at her about not participating. Didn’t care about her not or her ankle brace. And I again had to go down and go off on office staff.
Soon I decided to homeschool her. Her grades had slipped from perfect to B’s and that upset her as well.
I homeschooled her to the rest seventh and high school, and then she decided she wanted to go back to a brick and mortar school as they’re called and she graduated valedictorian. Got a full scholarship. Graduated college with high grades.
But she never got over the social anxiety or regular anxiety or truly doubting herself that she developed from all that bullying .
She just called me last night having just got off work. She works in a lab doing research and she was just sobbing about how she knows she did everything wrong.
I said “But you say this everytime and it is not all wrong like you think.
It’s because she just doesn’t have the confidence to say “I did the best job, performing just as I was showed.”
She’s never dated. Girls or guys because of her anxiety.
And all of it breaks my heart.
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My daughter, who is now 25, was on Kik and a male did this. He presented as male though. But he was talking to my daughter, her friend from school and her friend who lived in Canada.
He said he was 13 like them and said he wanted to see their boobs. Her school friend said “okay” and sent.
The Canadian friend said “F off!”
My daughter, who ALWAYS used social media sitting next to me, told me, and I said “He’s not a minor. Tell him to F off like Deanna. And tell Isabel she better go tell her mom or I will!”
I then got a Kik account and sought him out and sent him a message that I was onto his ass and he’d do well to get off the app.
My girls weren’t allowed to be on an app if I didn’t have the password to the app and I also then had an account on the app.
In fact, when my daughter made a TikTok account she took my phone and put it on my phone and made me an account, because she knew the rules. And she was 18 at the time!🤣
She’s 25, living on her own, and I even have the passcode to her phone and her PIN for her bank. And she knows those things of mine. No secrets.
I’m not that close with my other 4 daughters but they knew I was only doing those things to keep them safe.
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