Comments by "ChineseKiwi" (@ChineseKiwi) on "The Ash Files" channel.

  1. One of the the most integrated sponsorships ever - you know it's a sponsored video up front but you don't care because it's well integrated and the voice is smoothing - and OMG what a gentleman cameo at 5:49!
    43
  2. Ahhhhhhhhh.....I'm the dude version of you. This entire video is me and my thoughts. The mid 30s solo in another country bit. The 'friendship grind', the thoughts about love, that lack of support, it feeling more than heavy at times. All of it. All my closer friends have other commitments and are geographically far away. Sure I can call them or social media message them, but it isn't the same. This got so bad that I flew 3 1/2 hours, with little notice, to some friends for their '20th relationship anniversary' - they celebrate that more than their wedding date - to attend it over a weekend. The other party guests were surprised I would do that just for a weekend. But It was just very much to see them again because like you, I feel deprived of those deeper connections where I live. My best closest friend is in another country too. We talk and message often, when I fly back to the place I grew up in, I see him and it's great, but yeah, it's not the same. That 'solo life' eh.
    19
  3. 9:12 - ‘The absence of intimacy you don’t have to earn’ - ahhhhhhhhh! You always have the perfect words to describe a situation. You have got incredible introspection and articulation skills Ash. I’ve been stuck in this cycle for 3 years now. And yeah, I feel restless. So restless I’m on a whim booking a trip to Japan and planning it. The irony of travelling and seeing new things and moving out and about that makes me less restless. Maybe like you I should make a move at 37 as well! But a holiday on a whim will do for now. The holiday to increase the novelty. Am I running away from my problems with that novelty? I’m unsure. Part of me says yes, but part of me needs that fuel from the novelty to tackle my problems better. It is likely both.
    7
  4. You deserve more views. Also 4:23 to 5:23 - This is me and in my mid 30s as well I feel exactly the same as you. I moved countries to find myself and I am still trying to. However I'm hesitant to move away because of 'golden handcuffs'. My job pays well above average for the tasks I do (I took advantage that COVID job shortage period and I got a job offer at another place, but my current place counter offered and beat it) and well, 11.5% on top of wages towards your (American translated) '401k' isn't to be scoffed at. I'm life direction lost more than ever.
    5
  5. 9 years here - the plan worked but then it unwinded for me. And I still can’t figure it out 4 years after. It is far harder now than back then. Bah 😢
    4
  6. The mighty Youtube algorithm recommended you and this is the second video I've seen and I like the cinematic style and subtle use of music to carry along the narrative. Also, you seem like an interesting person. Also, DOGGO! <3
    3
  7. 6:18 - My fat arse read that as 'Harry Potter and the cursed chili' and the tacos next shot didn't help with that LOL
    2
  8.  @the.ashfiles  well, between the wisdom you share (and omg Raffy!), you’ve made me laugh a few times in your videos!
    2
  9. 3:47 to 4:12 - Yeah, that hit me more than I thought it would re-watching this video. But I need to feel it and absorb it and not hide it. The funny thing of journaling in another's video journal. It helps that you got a soothing voice and you obviously have very good introspection Ash, and you are also well spoken, which as you probably know, is a blessing and a curse. I have that too.
    2
  10. All the extra Raffi shots in this one ❤
    2
  11.  @the.ashfiles  You shouldn't feel bad about your voice. Your voice is comforting.
    2
  12. Ash, you have a way with words and strong introspection that is for sure. I’m in a very similar life circumstance as you but the male version: mid to late 30s, still figuring it out later than others, wanting love but likely there is a element that is also afraid of it, considering moving cities again but unsure if that would help address any inner feelings about things. The ironic thing is that I am currently in London on holiday as part of a personal healing journey. The Netherlands was the main part of that before me being currently in London. I do like that in your videos you do show a ‘quiet confidence’ about you. It isn’t fake, it isn’t bravado, it is quiet confidence in all of yourself, whether being optimism of things or recognition of your vulnerabilities and saying them out loud to strangers on the Internet. All that requires confidence. Like you, I feel the most freedom when I am alone, particularly when travelling, but as I think you have touched upon in your past videos, that is often juxtaposed from that wanting of love someday. It also helps, like others have said, that you do have a calming voice to complement and convey your words. I’m glad I found your videos and I’m glad you have the confidence to allow others to see into your life in this way. I guess this is just video journaling in a creative way right? I kind of do that with my Instagram stories while travelling. It is only ever to a small group of max 60 viewers, but like for you I guess, it is a fun outlet of creative expression.
    2
  13.  @the.ashfiles thanks. I am and still am. Back home / more accurately ‘my current place of consistent residence’ as of exactly today actually, (I got off the plane about 10 hours ago), but what I do know is that I know far more of what I need and want coming back into that door to my apartment than when I went out. All of these things will take time to implement, some longer than others, but I am motivated to do them. What I do know is that I need remind myself to slow down when I can, as the ‘big city’ pace of London, the place I currently reside (5.1 million) stressed me out too much vs the much slower life my friend in the Dutch countryside lived. I need something in the middle. I feel I’m in a good enough headspace to date again after a few years so there’s that I guess.
    2
  14. Omg...the extra Raffy (Raffie?) shots in this video - in particular 3:28 - you're lucky to have each other.
    2
  15. 5:09 - Who would EVER have a problem with Raffy!? :O
    1
  16. 3:42 - You need to try Burmese salad dishes sometime. That'll change your feelings surrounding salad :) The aesthetics of Burmese salad dishes are better too lol. I dislike Western style salads too but Burmese ones are so much better!
    1
  17. Beautiful wise words as always Ash. Like I’ve said in the past, I have a similar life trajectory as you, the male version, including the moving countries solo bit, but without the great cinematography skills! I know my past has hurt me, but as you said, you cannot ignore it to heal, you must integrate it to heal and heal better. And the drafts analogy I have thought about but never quite grasped the right words for it. Life is multiple drafts going at once and there will never be a finish line. ‘Some lessons just bruise better with time’ - absolutely amazing analogy to sum it up.
    1