Youtube hearted comments of ChineseKiwi (@ChineseKiwi).
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Ahhhhhhhhh.....I'm the dude version of you. This entire video is me and my thoughts.
The mid 30s solo in another country bit. The 'friendship grind', the thoughts about love, that lack of support, it feeling more than heavy at times. All of it.
All my closer friends have other commitments and are geographically far away. Sure I can call them or social media message them, but it isn't the same.
This got so bad that I flew 3 1/2 hours, with little notice, to some friends for their '20th relationship anniversary' - they celebrate that more than their wedding date - to attend it over a weekend. The other party guests were surprised I would do that just for a weekend. But It was just very much to see them again because like you, I feel deprived of those deeper connections where I live.
My best closest friend is in another country too. We talk and message often, when I fly back to the place I grew up in, I see him and it's great, but yeah, it's not the same. That 'solo life' eh.
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A Kiwi here now living in Melbourne. I was 3 years into a 4 year undergrad, majoring in geography when mental illness got too much for me at the time and I dropped out. I have an alright career now in my mid 30s so I feel it’s too late to finish it, but we’ll see. I appreciate your videos showcasing Australian geography!
I watched your Melbourne earthquake video and knew it was an existing slip fault line going by what I looked up, but lacked the knowledge to know which one, so thanks for explaining it!
I’m from Christchurch, and in an ironically way, the Feb 2011 earthquake hit just before my first lecture of the year there! Everyone got a strong education on earthquakes after.
And also, well, knowing Melbourne and Victoria is more earthquake active than other parts of Australia, and with this year’s and the Mansfield earthquake, I’ve realised unfortunately Melbourne is woefully underprepared for them, both in a public education stance and building protection compared to it being drilled into your head from a young age with earthquake drills etc back in NZ.
But thank you for your videos! A reminder of what I could have been in another life but hey, you carry on!
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Ash, you have a way with words and strong introspection that is for sure. I’m in a very similar life circumstance as you but the male version: mid to late 30s, still figuring it out later than others, wanting love but likely there is a element that is also afraid of it, considering moving cities again but unsure if that would help address any inner feelings about things. The ironic thing is that I am currently in London on holiday as part of a personal healing journey.
The Netherlands was the main part of that before me being currently in London.
I do like that in your videos you do show a ‘quiet confidence’ about you. It isn’t fake, it isn’t bravado, it is quiet confidence in all of yourself, whether being optimism of things or recognition of your vulnerabilities and saying them out loud to strangers on the Internet. All that requires confidence.
Like you, I feel the most freedom when I am alone, particularly when travelling, but as I think you have touched upon in your past videos, that is often juxtaposed from that wanting of love someday.
It also helps, like others have said, that you do have a calming voice to complement and convey your words.
I’m glad I found your videos and I’m glad you have the confidence to allow others to see into your life in this way. I guess this is just video journaling in a creative way right? I kind of do that with my Instagram stories while travelling. It is only ever to a small group of max 60 viewers, but like for you I guess, it is a fun outlet of creative expression.
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