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Michael Deierhoi
Dr. Tracey Marks
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Comments by "Michael Deierhoi" (@michaeldeierhoi4096) on "Dr. Tracey Marks" channel.
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I am 64 and have lived with borderline personality most of my life. I haven't felt like I met the criteria in the last 4 years or so and yet I still manifested some of the criteria on a less dramatic scale. I was able to work on a busy psychiatric team full time 30 to 40 hours per week, but to this day I still have difficulty managing an intimate relationship as one example. And I also have limited friends that I spend time with. Some patterns are very hard to change. Up until a few months ago I still had problems with my temper though I never directed at or even around anyone else. I have had poor self-image issues as well up until recently. My issues with impulsivity still come though rarely and less dramatically. So basically as I worked through my recovery I found the borderline symptoms I mentioned became less dramatic or less pronounced. I think this had more to with working my recovery which included working in a job that I enjoyed, and having a passion with something to do on my freetime which in my case was bird photography and hiking. I have also gotten better at positive self-affirming self talk which is key element in recovery from any mental illness.
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@prometheanevent I appreciated your comment and I have a few observations to offer. One is that Aspergers was always part of the Autism Spectrum, but the DSM in its latest edition #5 has dropped the Aspergers label so now it is places diagnosed individuals on the autism spectrum. Autism is also much, much more the just shyness! Autism can manifest as profoundly disabled and nonverbal to a fairly high functioning person with a blunted affect. These higher functioning people often lack social skills for their age. As far as labeling someone with a mental diagnosis it is for most people a necessary step toward recovery. When I was diagnosed with BPD it was more a revelation then anything else and in no way a negative. For the first time I had a label for about 8 disparate symptoms and was often misdiagnosed in the past. And being misdiagnosed I have gotten medication that didn't help and counseling that was ineffective. It is also true that many people are misdiagnosed or over diagnosed. Like any other field of medicine misdiagnosis happens sometimes on a minor level and sometimes at a catastrophic point for some people. Human beings are after all flawed in nature and even the best diagnosticians can make mistakes. I have almost 20 years experience in physical and mental health treatment so I am speaking from direct experience. The problem with a person diagnosed with a mental illness will face will arise from the symptoms of the disorder itself which I observed in myself and others as a practitioner. But issues like shyness and much worse like poor self image and even suicidal behavior are EXASERBATED by stigma. People perceived as having a mental illness are often treated with disrespect and abuse or taken advantage of in other ways. In other words it is myth that label will have a negative effect on a person. And lastly there is no practical equivalence in comparing mental illness in people with disruptive behavior in dogs for obvious reasons.
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How old are you now? You probably need a re-evaluation if it has been a while since that Dx espec if you haven't been in treatment. I speak from personal experience and wasn't even diagnosed until I was 47!! I am 64 now. I was bouncing off the walls for a long time and it was still tough for years after getting intensive treatment.
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Yes it can. Though you may want to be sure on that because misdiagnosis can happen. And study the symptoms of both yourself to be more aware of how they are different.
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That is exactly what BPD feels like to a lot of people as it did for me. I lived in fear of just about everything for most of my life. I was also persistant in showing up despite the fear. Now in my mid 60's I'm finally settling down emotionally and accepting, forgiving and loving myself in a way I never could before. I still have work at being accepting and forgiving, but it is easier.
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It takes time to detach from that conditioning that we grew up with. I grew with a mother who could be very negative and verbally abusive and internalized many negative messages for most of my life.
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Through questioning and observation a clinician will assess you for all the criteria Dr Tracy mentioned as well as anything else that stands out. The better a historian you are of your own symptoms the more likely you will get an accurate Dx.
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@jenniferrythe5283 That's not what my heart tells me. Recovery has brought me to a more present then I have ever exxperienced with deeper awareness coming on a frequent basis. When the original wound from which the BPD arose it is possible to return to mindful presence with life. Loving, forgiving and accepting life AS IT IS as opposed to what one wishes it was as I used to do. We all have the potential of waking to the truth of life if we are willing to walk through the fire.
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It is important to learn to accept the crazy. That is long process. Speaking from experience.
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