Comments by "Cinderball" (@cinderball1135) on "Caller Shocked by Rise of Incels" video.

@some guy No. Incels are a vile community and should be shunned. They are not the same thing as virgins. I am a virgin, not an incel. The difference? My virginity is not the centrepiece of my entire identity - it's just an interesting factbite about me, in the same way as my height, my eye colour, or my date of birth. To them, it's the be-all and end-all, and they have turned it into a wellspring of hatred.
11
No. The reason we shun them is because they don't listen and don't interact in good faith. Being kind and respectful is great and all, but they don't speak the same language as us, and if we give them an inch, they'll take a mile of our liberties. Incels have to be shunned because the alternative is to normalise their hateful ideology and to throw people like me under the bus - people who want nothing to do with them, but will be caught in the backdraft of public reaction to their atrocities. No thanks. Remember, history has not been kind to those people who thought appeasement would be enough to entice the far right back into the fold. @Siberius-
5
I think there a critical distinction that both David and a lot of commenters here are missing - there is a mile of difference between being a virgin and being an incel. I am a virgin because I have never had sex. I am not an incel, because I did not build my entire identity around that fact, or go on a mad rant about how "feminism" is somehow to blame. I want this distinction to be firmly understood, because I don't want those bastards to be able to use people like me as a shield. They chose to be bigoted - nobody forced them.
4
I don't think non-extremists like us should be using the word Incel. I think "virgin" is a far superior word, because it simply acknowledges the fact that one has not had sex, and leaves it right there. Am I "involuntarily celibate" if I have turned down opportunities to have sex, based on my principles (even if I would very much have liked to have had some)?
4
@john_hunter_ No you're not. Your definition of the terms wholly excludes an entire category of people - people who abstain on principle, but would absolutely be willing to have sex were the circumstances different. Then additionally, what about a case where someone has consciously passed up opportunities to have sex, because it violates the law or violates their principles? That person could have really wanted the sex, but knew that it was the wrong thing to do. (Like, if the girl was under-age, or drunk out of her mind). "Incel" should be a label that's reserved for people who choose to make their virginity (and their resentment towards women who deny them sex) the core of their philosophy. That keeps it nice and specific, and leaves out well-meaning people like me who, frankly, do not need this stigma attached to our good name.
2
As if that kind of self-loathing is any improvement. @skyblazeeterno First you accept that other people are better looking than you, then you decide that because they look better than you, they are physically superior. Then you decide that nobody will ever love you because all women (including the "sub-average" ones) are into the hotties exclusively. Then you decide that women are clearly bastards based on heretofore established canon. Then you decide that they should be punished for their bastardy. Then you exchange jokes and memes with your friends about what you'd like to do with them. Then you maybe even try something. Each step on the process might look innocuous enough to the person on the previous rung of the ladder, but the whole thing is a self-destructive, nihilistic death spiral, and it's built on false assumptions and self-loathing. You're as much an incel as anybody, if you have "accepted" this "truth".
1