Comments by "Wellness Path For Me" (@wellnesspathforme6236) on "Dad Saves America"
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@FirstNameLastName-wt5to >>If you grew up in a loving household you should’ve seen the signs.<<
Many covert narcissists can feign a very attractive personality -- until they feel like their bait has been caught. If they can't even do that, they are even further gone.
After decades of observing their abuse, I finally found an analogy for narcissism that, frankly, few people will be able to pass.
Consider that a relationship has three general states:
1. Being chauffeured
2. Person A is in the driver's seat and person B is in the passenger seat.
3. Person B is in the driver's seat and person A is in the passenger seat.
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The chauffeured state is when you both are doing what you both want to do. Narcissists will tend to be in a good mood, and might even be lots of fun and the life of the party. They be very positive.
Where a narcissist breaks down is in the passenger seat. They only want to deal with two states -- the chauffeur state and him/herself in the driver's seat state.
They want nothing to do with being in someone else's passenger stage, unless it has to do with manipulating them for some higher goal.
Most people are narcissistic. The vast majority. They deeply desire others to ride as a passenger while they are in control, but they OCD avoid being in the passenger seat they want for others so badly.
If you can't cheerfully spend about 50% of the time in the passenger seat as someone else drives, you have deep rooted narcissistic tendencies that should be rooted out.
If you force others to be in the passenger seat all the time, or someone is doing that to you, you are not in a relationship, you are in a toxic narcissistic conformanceship.
Period, full stop.
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The chauffeured state is what leaves people confused. You have to completely eliminate what you both like to do in order to properly discern how a narcissist "unmasks" him/herself.
However, during a manipulation phase, the narcissist feels they are in the driver's seat as they manipulate another to commit to them, and once they have you, they will take the velvet gloves off and begin their effort to effectively claim ownership over you as their possession.
The more sophisticated ones can do this for half a decade -- I've seen it in the wild.
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“In this revolution, research has become central; it also becomes more formalized, complex, and costly. A steadily increasing share is conducted for, by, or at the direction of, the Federal government.
Today, the solitary inventor, tinkering in his shop, has been over shadowed by task forces of scientists in laboratories and testing fields. In the same fashion, the free university, historically the fountainhead of free ideas and scientific discovery, has experienced a revolution in the conduct of research. Partly because of the huge costs involved, a government contract becomes virtually a substitute for intellectual curiosity. For every old blackboard there are now hundreds of new electronic computers.
The prospect of domination of the nation's scholars by Federal employment, project allocations, and the power of money is ever present and is gravely to be regarded.
Yet, in holding scientific research and discovery in respect, as we should, we must also be alert to the equal and opposite danger that public policy could itself become the captive of a scientific-technological elite.”
~President Dwight D. Eisenhower
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